Timalankhula zambiri za kukhala wathanzi. Kuti tichite zimenezi, timafunikira chakudya choyenera ndi chakudya choyenera, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi nthaŵi zonse, kupuma mokwanira ndi zina zotero. Monga momwe matupi athu amafunikira zonsezi kuti akhale athanzi, maubale athu nawonso amafunikira kusamalidwa kosalekeza kuti apitirire ndi kutisangalatsa. Izi zikutifikitsa ku funso loyenera: momwe tingamangire ubale wabwino ndikuusunga.
Monga ngati palibe mankhwala amatsenga a thanzi labwino, palibenso imodzi yopangira ubale ndi wina. Zimafunika kugwira ntchito nthawi zonse, kuyesetsa mwakhama komanso kudzipereka kuti muyambe chibwenzi chabwino kapena kukhala ndi chibwenzi chosayenera. Koma tisanalowe m’mene tingamangire ubwenzi wabwino, tiyenera kumvetsa mmene zimaonekera. Ubale wabwino ndi umodzi wodzazidwa ndi kulemekezana, kulankhulana momveka bwino ndi mphamvu zabwino. Ngakhale kuti ichi ndi chinthu choyenera kulakalaka, chowonadi ndi chakuti m'dziko lotanganidwa kwambiri lomwe ntchito, ana ndi machitidwe osiyanasiyana amadya nthawi yathu, n'zosavuta kuti ubale wanu uwonongeke.
Izi zimatifikitsanso pa maubale omwe amafunikira kugwira ntchito nthawi zonse, khama, chisamaliro ndi kudzipereka kuchokera kwa onse awiri kuti apambane ndi kukwaniritsa zomwe angathe. Koma kodi khama ndi ntchito zimawoneka bwanji? Kodi chisamaliro ndi kudzipereka kumasulira chiyani pazochitika za tsiku ndi tsiku? Katswiri wazachipatala Kranti Sihotra Momin (Masters in Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wodziwa bwino ntchito za CBT ndipo amagwira ntchito m'magawo osiyanasiyana a upangiri waubwenzi, amalankhula nafe kudzera mu malangizo 12 osavuta amomwe mungapangire maubwenzi abwino.
Kodi Ubale Wathanzi Ndi Wotani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Ubwenzi wabwino ndi womwe onse awiri atha kukhala okha. Kuti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino, ndikofunikira kuti mukhale ndi chidaliro, khalani ndi nthawi yokhala ndi chibwenzi komanso kuti mupatsane mpata pakafunika kutero. Kuti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino ndi wokondedwa wanu, muyeneranso kukhala ndi ubale wabwino ndi inu nokha.
Kugwira ntchito pazosowa zanu komanso zomwe zingawononge ubale wanu makhalidwe abwino ubale. Ganizirani izi ngati chisamaliro chausiku. Muyenera kuyikamo ndalama, koma mumadzuka mutatsitsimutsidwa ndikuwala tsiku lililonse. Ndilo tanthauzo la maubwenzi abwino. Kaya mukuyesera kupanga ubale wopanda thanzi kukhala wathanzi kapena kuyamba chibwenzi chabwino, ulendo umayamba ndi inu. Kupanga ubale wabwino kumafuna kuti muyang'ane mkati, mwachidwi, muzindikire katundu wanu wamalingaliro ndi njira zosayenera zothanirana nazo kapena malingaliro obwera chifukwa cha izo, ndi kudzikonzekeretsa kuti muthane ndi izi m'njira yabwinoko, yokwanira.
"Kupanga maubwenzi abwino ndi njira. Tiyenera kukumbukira kuti ngakhale kuti anthu angawonekere kuti ali odalirika komanso ogwirizana, ambiri a ife timakhala ndi nkhawa yogwirizana kuti tigwirizane ndi ena. Ubale wabwino ukhoza kuphunziridwa ndi kuchitidwa, ndipo, monga luso lonse, pitirizani kukhala bwino ndi chizolowezi," anatero Kranti.
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Malangizo 12 Osavuta Omanga Maubale Athanzi
Kupereka ubale wanu chisamaliro chomwe chimafunikira sikuyenera kukhala kokhudza manja akulu. Nthawi zina, zimakhala zokhuza kupanga miyambo yaing'ono, ya tsiku ndi tsiku yomwe imauza mnzanuyo kuti mumamuyamikira kwambiri. Kukhala ndi chizolowezi kunena zikomo pamene mnzanuyo akuchitirani chinachake, kuthokoza ndi kusonyeza kuyamikira anu ofunika ena zingaoneke ngati zinthu zazing'ono koma izi ndi zina mwa malangizo achilendo kumanga ubale wathanzi amene akhoza kukuthandizani.
Zomwezo zimagwiranso ntchito pakuyesetsa kukhala ndi thanzi njira zothetsera mikangano Kuthana ndi kusiyana kwanu, kuphunzira kuthana ndi malingaliro osasangalatsa ngati mkwiyo osawalola kuti awononge ubale wanu, ndikuyika ulemu kwa wokondedwa wanu kuposa china chilichonse. Zonsezi zitha kuwoneka ngati zimatengera khama la herculean kupanga ubale ndi munthu, koma sizili choncho.
Takupatsirani maupangiri athanzi apamabanja omwe atha kuphatikizidwa mosavuta m'moyo wanu. Mwakonzeka kuphunzira momwe mungamangire maubwenzi abwino? Werenganibe.
1. Fufuzani ndi mnzanu
Ndi liti pamene mudakhala pansi ndikumufunsa mnzako kuti akuyenda bwanji? Kapena akumva bwanji ndi zinthu? Kukambirana zomwe zikuchitika m'mitu ndi m'mitima yawo ndikofunikira kuti pakhale ubale wabwino. Koma kachiwiri, ndizovuta kupeza nthawi yochitira izi pafupipafupi.
Aline, yemwe wakhala m’banja ndi mwamuna wake Peter kwa zaka 7, anati: “Timayesetsa kuchita zimenezi mlungu uliwonse. Aline ndi Peter onse amagwira ntchito yosungira ndalama, ndipo nthawi zambiri amapeza ola limodzi kuti akambirane. “Zokambilana zathu zinali zokhudza kugula, amene anali kunyamula ana, amene mmodzi wa ife akafika kunyumba pambuyo pake, ndi zina zotero. Mwadzidzidzi tinazindikira kuti panali patatha pafupifupi miyezi 6 tikulankhulana,” akutero Aline.
Kuyambira pamenepo, banjali limapatula tsiku limodzi pamlungu kuti lingokumana. “Timalankhula za zitsenderezo za ntchito, zimene tikuŵerenga, diresi lokongola limene ndinagula – zinthu zamitundumitundu.
Pamene mukuganiza za momwe mungamangire maubwenzi abwino, kumbukirani kuti malingaliro anu ndi ofunika, komanso maganizo a mnzanuyo, nawonso, ndi olondola. Kulowa mwachizolowezi kumakupatsani nthawi yoti mukhale limodzi ndikuwonetsetsa kuti muli patsamba lomwelo pazomwe zili zofunika. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazabwino kwambiri maubwenzi abwino kwa maanja.
2. Osamenyana ndi zauve
Zindikirani sitikunena kuti musamenyane. Izi sizothandiza mu ubale uliwonse. M'malo mwake, ngati simukulimbana konse, ndiye kuti mukukulitsa mkwiyo wazaka zingapo ndi mkwiyo. Koma pali kumenyana, ndiyeno pali kumenyana konyansa. Kulimbana zonyansa ndi pamene inu mwadala ananyamuka nenani zowawa kwa mnzako, mukamagwiritsa ntchito chidziwitso chanu cha kusatetezeka kwawo kwakukulu ndi mantha kuti mufotokoze mfundo yanu ndikutuluka pamwamba.
Mwachitsanzo, tinene kuti munakangana kuti mnzanuyo sakupatula nthawi yocheza ndi ana. Mwawalalatira mwina mwawalera kuti ndi kholo loyipa. Mwina inuyo munafika polelera makolo awo ndi kuwalera. Ndipo kwa masiku angapo otsatira, mumawakumba mobisa pamaso pa ana.
Ndiko kumenyana ndi zauve, ndipo sikuthandiza konse. Mutha kuwauza zonse zomwe akulakwitsa popanda kuwakwiyitsa pazosankha zawo zonse. Komanso, m’pofunika nthawi ina, mutakhala pansi, kuganizira ngati muli ndi chochita ndi vuto lililonse limene layambitsa ndewu.
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Izi zikutifikitsa ku funso lomwe tikuganiza kuti maanja ayenera kuligwiritsa ntchito ngati chiwongolero chowongolera maubwenzi awo: Kodi ubale wabwino ukhale wotani? Ulemu, chifundo, ndi chifundo ndi zina mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri zomwe zimakuthandizani kumanga ubale ndi munthu. Ngati muli ndi izi kapena kuyesetsa kuzikulitsa, vuto lolimbana ndi zonyansa lidzathetsa lokha.
Ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi ubale wabwino ndi ena, yesani kumenyana mwachilungamo momwe mungathere. Ngati mukupeza kuti mukuweramira ku ndewu zonyansa komanso kutchula mayina, mwina ndi nthawi yoti muganizire makalasi owongolera mkwiyo. Kranti anati: “Nthawi zonse menyanani mwachilungamo, kumbukirani kuti mkangano umayamba m’maubwenzi osangalatsa kwambiri.” Kusemphana maganizo ndi chizindikiro chakuti simukugwirizana pa nkhani inayake, osati kuti simukukondana ngakhale pang’ono.
Amalimbikitsanso kugwiritsa ntchito mawu a 'I' kuti muthe kugawana momwe mukumvera popanda kusunthitsa mlandu. “Mwachitsanzo,” iye akutero, “yesani kunena kuti, “Ukapanda kundiimbira foni, ndimayamba kumva ngati sundisamala” m’malo momati “Simumandiimbira foni mukakhala kutali. Ndikuganiza kuti ndine ndekha amene ndimasamala za ubwenzi umenewu.” Chinsinsi ndicho kuukira vutolo, osati munthu.”
3. Muziika patsogolo ubwenzi wanu
Mukudabwa momwe mungamangire maubwenzi abwino? Limodzi mwa maupangiri athanzi labwino kwa maanja ndikuyika ubale wanu patsogolo. Koma kodi zimenezi zikutanthauza chiyani? Mwachidule, payenera kukhala nthawi zina pomwe ubale wanu udzakhala patsogolo kuposa china chilichonse.
Emily anati: “Mkazi wanga, Sienna, amagwira ntchito pakampani ya zamalamulo, kutanthauza kuti amagwira ntchito maola ambiri openga.” Nthawi zambiri timangoonana movutikira ndipo ndimavomereza, ndipo nthawi zina ndimadabwa ngati ndingafike pafupi ndi zimene ntchito yake ikutanthauza kwa iye. Koma patapita zaka zingapo kuchokera pamene anakwatirana, bambo ake a Emily anadwala kwambiri ndipo anagonekedwa m’chipatala kwa milungu iwiri.
"Ndinkada nkhawa komanso kuda nkhawa kuti ndiyenera kuchita bwanji ntchito yanga ndi nyumba pakati pa chithandizo chachipatala." Koma Sienna adandiwonetsa, ndi momwe adachitira. Anali pakati pa vuto lalikulu koma ankandichotsera ntchito yachipatala nthawi iliyonse yomwe ndikufunikira. Ankaonetsetsa kuti ndadya bwino ndikupuma mokwanira. Amalankhula ndi madokotala ndikumvetsetsa bwino zinthu, "Emily akutero.
Kuwonetsa wokondedwa wanu ndikumanga ubale wodalirana ndicho chinthu chabwino kwambiri, chachikondi chomwe mungachite, ndipo chimathandizadi kumanga ubale wabwino ndi okondedwa wanu. Osadikirira chinthu chowopsa ngati matenda kapena tsoka, pali njira miliyoni zomwe mungawawonetsere tsiku lililonse. Ngakhale kuwapangira tiyi kapena khofi m'mawa ndi chiyambi.
4. Pezani nthawi yodzisamalira
Tsopano, izi zikhoza kuoneka ngati mmodzi wa zachilendo nsonga kumanga ubale wathanzi koma ngati inu kusanthula mosamala, izo kwenikweni ayi. Mukudziwa momwe amanenera kuti simungathe kuthira m'kapu yopanda kanthu. Chabwino, ndi zoona. Ngati mwatopa ndipo nthawi zonse mumayika zofuna za wina aliyense patsogolo pa zanu, mudzatopa. Osati zokhazo, mudzayamba kukwiyira zoyembekeza za mnzanuyo, ngakhale zili zomveka.
Kusunga malire a ubale wabwino zidzatanthauza kunena kuti 'ayi' nthawi zina ndikudzipatula. Pitani kokayenda, zilowerereni mumphika ndi bukhu, pitani mumadzichitira kutikita minofu kapena chokoleti chowonjezera chachikulu chotentha ndi zonona zokwapulidwa. Kudzisamalira kumawoneka kosiyana kwa aliyense, choncho chitani zomwe muyenera kuchita.
Kudzisamalira ndi kudzikonda ndi makhalidwe abwino a ubale motsimikizika. Mukakhala okondwa komanso okhutitsidwa, thupi lanu ndi malingaliro anu zikakhala pamtendere, mudzatha kupereka zambiri ngati mnzanu. Samalirani thanzi lanu, onetsetsani kuti mukugona mokwanira, ganizirani zovuta zanu ndikuzitsatira. Mudzawona ubale wanu ukuyenda bwino pambali panu.
5. Khalani ndi zoyembekeza zenizeni
Mosakayikira munali ndi masomphenya a mnzanu wangwiro. Momwe iwo angawonekere, zomwe anganene kwa inu, momwe angapangire, ndi momwe moyo wanu ungakhalire mndandanda wamasiku angwiro, opambana mpaka kalekale. Tsoka ilo, zenizeni sizigwira ntchito mwanjira imeneyo. Ndipo, tiyeni tiyang'ane nazo, anthu angwiro angakhale otopetsa kukhala nawo moyo wawo wonse. Zolakwika zina ndi zosiyana zimawonjezera zokometsera ku moyo, ndi ubale.
Yang'anani mozama kwa mnzanuyo ndikuvomereza kuti monga inu, nawonso ndi anthu ndipo ali ndi zolakwika. Khalani owona mtima nokha pazoyembekeza zanu komanso komwe zimachokera. Kodi mukuyang'ana maakaunti ambiri a Instagram a maanja omwe ali pamagombe aku Greece ndikutengera zomwe mukuyembekezera? Kodi mwakhumudwitsidwa kuti wokondedwa wanu samavala suti ngati James Bond, ndipo amakonda sweatpants?
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Ngati mukuyang'ana momwe mungamangire maubwenzi abwino, yang'anani pa mfundo zabwino za mnzanu ndikukumbukira chifukwa chake mudakondana nawo poyamba. Osachepetsa ziyembekezo zanu mpaka kufika pomwe mukukonzekera munthu yemwe simukumufuna, koma khalani owona. Ngati mupitiriza kuyembekezera ungwiro, mudzakhumudwa nthawi zonse. Khalani weniweni, ndipo onetsetsani kuti ubale womwe muli nawo ukumwetulira pankhope yanu osachepera kangapo pa sabata. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazathanzi labwino kwambiri malangizo a mgwirizano kwa mabanja.
“Zindikirani kuti mavuto ena satha msanga,” akulangiza motero Kranti. “Ngakhale mwakhala limodzi kwa zaka zambiri, mudakali anthu osiyana, okhala ndi makhalidwe ndi zikhulupiriro zapadera.” Tsopano, kulankhulana kungathandize kwambiri kukuthandizani kumvetsetsana ndi kuthetsa vuto lanu laubwenzi, koma tonsefe tili ndi zizoloŵezi ndi nkhani zozama zomwe sizingasinthe kwenikweni.
"Ubwenzi wabwino ndi womwe umadzipatsa chilolezo kuti udziwe zomwe ungavomereze, kapena ngati ubale sulinso wabwino kwa inu." Chiyembekezo chenicheni ndi kuphunzira momwe mungasankhire zinthu zing'onozing'ono ndizofunikira kwambiri pakati pa njira zosiyanasiyana zomangira maubwenzi abwino.
6. Lankhulani moona mtima
Kodi ubale wabwino uyenera kukhala ndi chiyani? Kulankhulana momasuka, moona mtima, momveka bwino. Ndipo izi zikutanthauza chiyani? Kufunsa zomwe mukufuna, kukhala wolunjika mukakhumudwa kapena pamene simukugwirizana nazo - zonsezi zimamveka zosavuta, sichoncho? Chifukwa chake ambiri aife timapeza kulumikizana kwaubwenzi zovuta kwambiri, makamaka pamene zimafuna kuti tikhale pachiopsezo ndi okondedwa athu?
Nthawi zina, zingakhale kuti timaopa kumasuka poopa kuti munthu amene timamukonda kwambiri angatipweteke. Kapena, tapangidwa kuti tikhulupirire kuti kufunsa zomwe tikufuna, kapena kusagwirizana ndi mnzathu kumapangitsa kuti tivutike kukonda. Koma kodi ndi zosayenera bwanji kukhala osakhulupirika kwa ife tokha, komanso ndi munthu yemwe tikugawana naye moyo?
Khalani oona mtima ndi mnzanu. Ngati mukuwona kuti ntchito zapakhomo sizikugawidwa mofanana pakati panu, nenani choncho. Ngati mukumva kuti zosowa zanu m'chipinda chogona sizikukwaniritsidwa, auzeni zomwe mukufuna komanso zomwe zimakupangitsani kumva bwino. Apempheni kuti nawonso akutsegulireni.
Kranti anati: “Chilankhulo chanu chizikhala chomveka bwino komanso chachindunji. Komanso, onetsetsani kuti mumalankhula zinthu mmene zikuchitikira, ndipo musamade nkhawa ndi zinthu zakale.” Kukambitsirana pafupipafupi komanso pafupipafupi kumapangitsa kuti zinthu zisamayende bwino komanso zisamayende bwino.
Kulankhulana momasuka sikutanthauza kuti mumangowauza zinthu zonse zimene akulakwitsa. Zimangotanthauza kuti mumalankhulana wina ndi mzake ndi kudzikonda pang'ono monga momwe mungathere komanso popanda mantha kuti simukumvetsa. Kulankhulana moona mtima kuli ngati kusatetezeka, komwe amamanga chikhulupiriro. Ndi chiyani chomwe chingakhale chabwino kapena chathanzi pachibwenzi?
7. Khalani okoma mtima
Tikudziwa, tikudziwa, titha kukhala osamveka! Koma pirirani nafe. Takambirana za ziyembekezo zenizeni, taganizirani izi ngati sitepe yotsatira. Padzakhala nthawi okondedwa anu amasokoneza kapena sizikugwirizana ndi zomwe mukuyembekezera. Kodi mumatani?
Kodi mumangokhalira kukhumudwa nthawi zonse kuti amakukhumudwitsani? Kapena mumawauza kuti zili bwino ndipo adzachita bwino nthawi ina? Kodi mumapereka chithandizo ndi chilimbikitso monga momwe mungathere kwa wina ndi mzake, kapena chibadwa chanu choyamba kukhumudwitsana?
Nachi chinthucho. Muubwenzi wabwino, mumalemekeza malingaliro ndi malingaliro a mnzanuyo kuposa wina aliyense. Nthawi zonse mumafuna kuwonedwa ngati ofunika m'maso mwawo. Ndipo amaonanso chimodzimodzi ponena za inu. Choncho, akalakwitsa kapena zinthu sizikuyenda bwino, ndi mmene mumachitira ndi zimene zimawakhudza kwambiri.
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Chotero, momwe mungathere, khalani okoma mtima. Nyamulanani wina ndi mzake, ndipo tsimikizirani za iwo ndi za ubale wanu. Apatseni chiyamikiro popanda chifukwa, makamaka ngati anali ndi tsiku loipa. Khalani nangula wawo, malo awo otetezeka, ndipo mudzatha kukhala paubwenzi wabwino ndi bwenzi kapena chibwenzi chanu. Momwe mungakhazikitsire maubwenzi abwino ndizomwe zimatengera khalidwe lochepera la 'kukhala wabwino.'
Kranti amalangizanso kutenga udindo pazolakwa zanu ngati kuchita zinthu mokoma mtima. “Pepani moona mtima ngati mwachita cholakwika; Zimathandiza kwambiri kuti zinthu ziyambenso kuyenda bwino.” Kukoma mtima pang’ono kumathandiza kwambiri pamene mukuyesera kuyala maziko a unansi wabwino kapena kupanga ubwenzi woipa.
8. Sankhani wina ndi mzake tsiku lililonse
Maubwenzi anthawi yayitali amatha kukhala ovuta kuchirikiza ndipo thanzi la ubale wanu nthawi zambiri limatha kusokonezeka. Pakhoza kukhala chiyeso chokhala ndi chibwenzi kunja kapena kukopana ndi anthu ena. Kukopeka ndi anthu ena ndi kwachilengedwe kokwanira, kaya mukuchita kapena ayi zomwe zingapangitse kapena kusokoneza ubale wanu. Ngati mwaganiza zopanga maubwenzi abwino ndi ena, makamaka okondana nawo, ndikofunikira kuti azikudalirani komanso kuti azikukhulupirirani.
Kusankha wina ndi mnzake tsiku lililonse kumatanthauza kuti mukunena kuti mnzanuyo, ndi zovuta zawo zonse komanso zosokoneza, ndiye yemwe mukufuna pamoyo wanu. Kusankha wina ndi mnzake tsiku lililonse kumatanthauza kuti ngakhale zododometsa kapena mayesero angatidzere bwanji, simudzawapereka kapena kuwapweteka. Mudzaika chimwemwe cha wina ndi mnzake patsogolo chifukwa ndicho chimene chili chofunika kwa inu.
nsonga iyi imakhala yofunika kwambiri maubwenzi apatali popeza nthawi yokhala pamodzi imakhala yochepa kwambiri. Kusankha wina ndi mzake ndikukhalabe odzipereka, choncho, kumakhala kovuta muzochitika izi, koma kumakhalabe kofunika. Kulemekeza kudzipereka kwanu kwa wina ndi mnzake ndi chinthu chathanzi chomwe mungachite paubwenzi wanu.
9. Perekani malo wina ndi mzake
Mwa mlengalenga, tikukamba za mitundu yonse. Zathupi, m'maganizo, m'malingaliro, zilizonse zomwe inu kapena wokondedwa wanu mungafune panthawiyo. Padzakhala nthawi zomwe adzakufunani kuti mukonze zinthu, kapena kungomvetsera. Koma padzakhalanso nthawi zina pamene adzathedwa nzeru ndipo amangofunika kukhala paokha.
Osatengera izi kukhala zanu, kapena kuganiza kuti ndikukanidwa. Apatseni malo onse ofunikira. M'malo mwake, sungani malowa kukhala opatulika kwa wina ndi mnzake. Aliyense atha kukhala ndi ngodya yokhala ndi mpando womwe mumakonda komanso kapu ya tiyi woziziritsa m'makapu omwe mumakonda. Awa ndi malo omwe mumakhala mukangofunika kanthawi kochepa kuchokera padziko lapansi. Monga okondedwa, lemekezani malo a anzanu; m'malo mwake, pitani mtunda wowonjezera ndikupanga malo awo kukhala osangalatsa komanso opanda phokoso ngati mungathe.
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Osapitirira kugwedezeka pamene alankhulana kuti amafunikira nthawi yokha. Onetsetsani kuti akudziwa kuti muli nawo ngati akukufunani, ndiyeno muzinyamuka. Amadziwa komwe angakupezeni, ndipo palibe chomwe chimanena kuti ndimakukondani ngati kupereka malo awoawo. Ndikofunikira kwambiri pakumanga maubwenzi abwino.
10. Osafanizira
Mukaganizira za zomwe ubale wabwino uyenera kukhala nawo, ndikofunikiranso kuganizira za mbali yakutsogolo ndikuzindikira zomwe ubale wabwino suyenera kukhala nawo. Chimodzi mwazinthu zotere zomwe muyenera kuzipewa ndi msampha wofananiza. Kunena zowona, mudzafanizitsa, ndizosapeweka.
Nthawi zonse padzakhala okwatirana omwe amawoneka bwino, osangalala, opeza ndalama zambiri, akukhala m'nyumba zabwino, kulera ana a khalidwe labwino - mndandanda umapitirirabe. Tamverani, palibe amene ali wangwiro. Kodi sitinakuuzeni za ziyembekezo zenizeni? Ndipo poyerekezera wokondedwa wanu ndi ubale wanu ndi ena, mukudzipangitsa kukhala okhumudwa komanso osatetezeka. Ndani akusowa zonsezo? Ndithudi si ubale wabwino.
Nthawi zonse pali njira zopangira kuti ubale wanu ukhale wabwino komanso wosangalatsa, ndipo mutha kusankha njira zathanzi, zabwino zochitira izi kuposa kuyerekeza nthawi zonse ndi za anthu ena. Khalani moyo wanu, sangalalani ndi ubale wanu, ndikukhala bwenzi labwino kwambiri lomwe mungakhale.
11. Pezani nthawi yocheza
Kaya ndi masiku okhazikika kapena kugonana, musaganize kuti chibwenzi chingathe kupitiriza popanda zibwenzi izi. Mwina simungakhale ndi chilakolako chogonana chomwe munali nacho kumayambiriro kwa chibwenzi koma sizikutanthauza kuti simungathe kutero. limbitsa ubale wanu m'chipinda chogona. Titakuuzani kuti pamafunika khama lokhazikika komanso lokhazikika kuti mupange ubale ndi munthu, tinkafuna kuchita khama m'mbali zonse - ndipo izi zimaphatikizapo moyo wanu wapamtima, wachikondi.
Mukawona kuti ubale wanu ukugwedezeka kapena zinthu zikukhala zodziwikiratu ndikuyendetsa mphero, chitanipo kanthu kuti mugwedezeke (musadikire kuti mnzanuyo ayambe kusuntha kapena kubwerera mmbuyo chifukwa ngati sakusamala, chifukwa chiyani muyenera). Konzani madzulo okondana. Sankhani malo odyera omwe mumakonda, valani, valani zonunkhiritsa zomwe mukudziwa zimachititsa bwenzi lanu misala. Tulutsani zoletsa zonse ndikukopana wina ndi mnzake ngati wamisala. Gulani zovala zamkati zatsopano ndikuyika chiwonetsero cha okondedwa anu. Pangani usiku kukumbukira.
Kupatula izi, khalani okonda thupi komanso mwamawu nthawi zonse momwe mungathere. Muzipsompsonana mukapita kuntchito. Gwiranani chanza mukatha chakudya chamadzulo mukamacheza pabedi. Gwiranani pafupipafupi ndikuwerengera. Tumizani mameseji kuwuza mnzanuyo momwe amawonekera mu malaya ofiira omwe amavala pogwira ntchito. Monga tidanenera, ndizinthu zazing'ono, zatsiku ndi tsiku zomwe zimakuwonetsani momwe mungapangire maubwenzi abwino.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mphamvu Ndi Kufunika Kwa Kugonana Paubwenzi
12. Dziwani bwino mnzanuyo
Kodi mungakhale bwanji paubwenzi wabwino ndi bwenzi kapena bwenzi lanu? Khalani katswiri pa iwo! Tikutanthauza, muziwadziwa bwino, mutha kuyesa za iwo. Tsopano mwina mukuganiza kuti, ‘Ndili paubwenzi ndi iwo. Inde, ndimawadziwa!' Mungadabwe kuti ndi zing'onozing'ono zingati koma zofunika zomwe zadumphira m'ming'alu chifukwa sitinakhale ndi nthawi, kapena sitinamvetsere. Ndipo ngati mukuganiza kuti mumawadziwa, funsani mafunso kuti muwadziwe bwino!
Brian anati: “Mkazi wanga wakhala akundigulira ma t-shirt a m’khosi kwa zaka zambiri. “Zimakhala zoseketsa kwenikweni chifukwa pafupifupi ndimavala ma t-shirt okhala ndi kolala basi.” Mwa njira ina, iye anafika m’mutu mwake kuti ndine munthu wamba, motero ndinkavala makosi ozungulira.
“Mwamuna wanga amaganiza kuti ndimakonda maluwa,” akudandaula motero Susan. Ndikutanthauza kuti ndimawakonda, koma amasokoneza m’nyumba ndipo zimandichititsa misala, koma chifukwa chakuti akazi amakonda maluwa, iye amandigulira maluwawo, koma akutanthauza bwino, koma ndi chizindikiro chakuti sakundidziwa!”
Mulungu ali mwatsatanetsatane, momwemonso thanzi la ubale wanu! Kodi wokondedwa wanu amamwa bwanji khofi? Kodi amakuuzani chiyani akamayesa kukubisirani zinazake? Kodi angakonde kukhala pafupi ndi nyanja yamchere tsiku lina, kapena amakonda mapiri? Muyenera kudziwa. Komanso, musaiwale kuti zomwe anthu amakonda komanso malingaliro amasintha pakapita nthawi. Dziwani bwino mnzanuyo pafupipafupi momwe mungathere, ndipo mudzadabwitsidwa kuti angakudabwitsenibe.
Kupanga ubale wabwino kuyenera kukhala mgwirizano pakati pa okondedwa. Ndi njira yopitilira kotero musamachite ngati pulogalamu yolimbitsa thupi ya masiku 14 ndikusiya chifukwa mwatopa kwambiri komanso mulibe nthawi. Yang'anani pa zinthu zazing'ono zomwe mungachite, ndipo onetsetsani kuti mwazichita. Ndizosavuta.
Kranti anati: “Mfundo yabwino kwambiri yopezera ubwenzi wabwino ndi munthu ndiyo kukhala wekha, n’kosavuta ndiponso kosangalatsa kukhala woona mtima kusiyana ndi kudzinamiza kuti ndiwe winawake.
Kodi mumadziwa kuti kusankha kwanu kwa mnzanu kumatha kupanga kapena kukuphwanyani ntchito yanu
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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
