Kodi abambo ndi amai angakhale mabwenzi - abwenzi okha, osayembekezera komanso opanda chikondi pa ubale wawo? Ndi funso lachikale lomwe lakhala lofunika kwambiri pakusintha kwanyengo, ngakhale amuna ndi akazi akuyenda mumkhalidwe wovuta wa maubwenzi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Ngati mukutenga malingaliro anu kuchokera ku chikhalidwe cha pop, mungakhale otsimikiza mopanda kukayikira kuti ubwenzi wa platonic pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi ndi zosatheka.
Kuyambira Pamene Harry Anakumana ndi Sally mpaka Ukwati wa Mnzanga Wapamtima , kuyambira Monica ndi Chandler mu Friends mpaka Robin ndi Barney mu How I Met Your Mother , kuyambira Kuch Kuch Hota Hai mpaka Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na — nkhani za ubwenzi wabwino kwambiri pakati pa amuna ndi akazi nthawi zonse zimakhala ndi chikondi. Ngakhale kuti maubwenzi amenewa amabwera ndi malire ndi zovuta zawo, ubwenzi weniweni pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi si wovuta monga momwe unapangidwira.
Psychology ya Ubwenzi wa Amuna ndi Akazi
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Mosiyana ndi zomwe tawerenga m'mabuku kapena m'mafilimu, tiyeni tifufuze mozama muzochitika zenizeni komanso zamaganizo pofunsa funso lakuti - Kodi mwamuna ndi mkazi angakhale mabwenzi chabe? Akatswiri ena a zamaganizo amanena kuti nthawi zambiri amuna ndi akazi amatsogoleredwa ndi chikhumbo chachibadwa cha kukwatirana ndi kupanga ana. Zomwe zimawafikitsa ku lingaliro lakuti ngati amuna ndi akazi adapangidwa mwachibadwa kuti abereke, ndiye kuti kukhala mabwenzi sikutheka. Ngakhale kuti zimenezo ndi mfundo zomveka, zonse si zoona.
Kodi amuna ndi akazi angakhale mabwenzi apamtima? Zedi iwo angathe. Pali mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya zokopa monga kugonana, chikondi kapena maganizo zomwe zingayambe pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Banja likhoza kukhala ndi zonse kapena chimodzi chokha. Ndipo kotero wina anganene, kuti maubwenzi kaŵirikaŵiri amatsogozedwa ndi kukopeka mtima koposa china chirichonse.
Amuna Ndi Akazi Mavuto A Ubwenzi
Kodi mwamuna ndi mkazi angakhale mabwenzi chabe? Funsoli lachititsa chidwi akatswiri a zamaganizo komanso akatswiri a chikhalidwe cha anthu, zomwe zalimbikitsa kufufuza kwakukulu pankhaniyi. Ngakhale maphunziro osiyanasiyana ndi kafukufuku amawonetsa ziwerengero zosiyanasiyana, chowonadi ndichakuti kukopeka ndi kugonana, ziyembekezo zosiyanasiyana ndi malingaliro a anthu nthawi zambiri zimasokoneza maubwenzi oterowo.
Kafukufuku wina wasonyeza kuti amuna 22 pa 100 omwe anafunsidwa mafunso ndi akazi 11 pa 100, anagonanapo ndi anzawo a amuna kapena akazi anzawo. Kafukufuku wina wochitidwa mu 2016 wasonyeza kuti amuna nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi ubwenzi ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo chifukwa cha chilakolako chawo chogonana komanso chiyembekezo chakuti ‘adzapambana’ pa nthawi yomweyo. Kafukufuku winanso akugwirizana ndi zimenezi, ndipo akupeza kuti anthu ambiri amakondana ngakhale pakakhala ubwenzi wapamtima pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi.
Kuti timvetsetse coundrum - amuna ndi akazi angakhale mabwenzi apamtima - tifunika kuunika maubwenziwa kupyolera mu zovuta zambiri zomwe zimatanthauzira njira yawo. Izi ndi zina mwa zifukwa zomwe abambo ndi amai sangakhale mabwenzi.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungayambitsire Chibwenzi ndi Mtsikana Wosakhala M'gulu Lanu
Vuto loyamba - Abambo ndi amai sangakhale mabwenzi chifukwa cha kusiyana kwa ziyembekezo
Ubwenzi wapamtima pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi ukhoza kukhalapo, ndipo anthu ambiri amapanga ubale wolimba wopanda chilakolako chilichonse kapena zolinga zachinsinsi. Komabe, nthawi zambiri, ubwenzi wa amuna ndi akazi umakumana ndi mavuto chifukwa mabwenzi awiriwa amakhala ndi ziyembekezo zosiyana kuyambira pachiyambi kapena mmodzi wa iwo amakhala ndi chikondi kwa winayo panthawi ya ubwenziwo.
Maganizo a anthu ndi ovuta ndipo nthawi zambiri amakhala ovuta kuwasiyanitsa, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwa anthu omwe akukhudzidwa kuti asiyanitse pakati pa maubwenzi, chikondi ndi kugonana.
Vuto lachiwiri - Kukopa kwamphamvu pakugonana
Kuthekera kwa kukopeka kwa kugonana kuloŵerera pa ubwenzi weniweni pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi sikungalephereke konse. Kukumbatirana mwachisawawa kungatengere chilakolako chogonana, kujowina pa tsaya kungayambitse kupsompsona kozama, kokhudza mtima.
Chikoka choterechi chikayamba kugwira ntchito, zimakhala zovuta kuzinyalanyaza. Kuchokera apa, pali njira ziwiri zokha zopitira patsogolo - mwina ubwenziwo wawonongeka kapena umasintha kukhala ubale wachikondi.
Chovuta Chachitatu - Chifukwa chiyani abambo ndi amai sangakhale mabwenzi? Kusafanana
Ubwenzi ndi mgwirizano womwe anthu amagawana nawo. Komabe, kukhazikika kwathu kwa makolo akale kumalepheretsa kufanana koteroko kukhazikitsidwa muubwenzi wapakati pa amuna ndi akazi. Ngakhale patakhala kuti palibe mnzawo aliyense amene amagwirizana ndi malingaliro a utsogoleri, amuna amatha kukhala ndi udindo wolamulira ngati mwamuna wa alpha, pomwe akazi amatenga gawo logonjera kwambiri. Sewero lamphamvuli likhoza kuwononga ubwenzi wautali.
Chovuta 4 - Malingaliro a anthu amasokoneza
Ichi ndi chifukwa chachikulu cha malingaliro a 'Amuna ndi akazi sangakhale mabwenzi'. Ngakhale mwamuna ndi mkazi ali paubwenzi wa platonic, malingaliro a anthu amatha kuwakakamiza kuti awonenso zofanana zawo. Anthu omwe ali paubwenzi wapamtima wa kugonana kwa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha nthawi zambiri amangokhalira kukayikakayika, odziwa zonse amatsinzina komanso amakodola. Izi zikachitika kaŵirikaŵiri, zingadzutse malingaliro achikondi amene potsirizira pake amadodometsa ubwenzi umene mwinamwake unalibe ngakhale poyamba.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Ndinali ndi Chibwenzi ndi Mkazi Wachikulire Ndipo Zinandisintha
Kodi Mwamuna ndi Mkazi Angakhale Anzanu Basi? Mitundu Ya Mabwenzi
Mosiyana ndi zomwe mafilimu ndi ma sitcoms amapangira maubwenzi a amuna ndi akazi, ma equation awa samachotsedwa mumpangidwe womwewo. Psychology yaubwenzi wa amuna ndi akazi imapita mozama kwambiri ndipo pali mitundu yambiri ya maubwenzi omwe alipo pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Zina mwa mitundu yodziwika bwino yaubwenzi pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi ndi izi:
1. Mabwenzi a Plato
Ubwenzi wa Plato pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi ndiye njira yosavuta komanso yosavuta yosonyezera mgwirizanowu. Mu ubwenzi woterewu, mwamuna ndi mkazi ali ndi mfundo ndi zokonda zofanana ndipo ali ndi malingaliro ofanana okhudza zomwe amayembekezera kuchokera kwa wina ndi mnzake. Ubwenzi woterewu susiyana ndi wa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ndipo nthawi zambiri umayenda bwino.
2. Mabwenzi a akatswiri
Kodi amuna ndi akazi angakhale mabwenzi apamtima? Inde, nthawi zina amatha kuntchito. Maubwenzi amenewa amachokera ku ubale waukatswiri pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, wochokera kuntchito. Ma equation awa amatengera zolinga za akatswiri, zovuta ndi zochitika zazikulu, komanso kuchita bwino pakusilira luso la wina ndi mnzake.
3. Mabwenzi abwino
Uwu ndi ubwenzi wokhala ndi gawo la kugonana, kupatulapo zinthu zomwe zili muubwenzi. Ubwenzi wamtunduwu umachokera ku chikoka chobisika pakati pa anthu awiri. Ma equation a mabwenzi omwe ali ndi maubwino nthawi zambiri amakhala osasangalatsa, ngati m'modzi mwa mabwenziwo ayamba kukondana, kapena ngati m'modzi wa iwo alowa muubwenzi watsopano, equationyo ikhoza kukhala yodzaza ndi nsanje.
4. Ubwenzi wokhala ndi mapeto achikondi
Zikatere, mabwenzi onsewo amayamba kukondana komanso kukopeka kwambiri ndi wina ndi mnzake. Onse awiri amasankha kutenga ubale wawo kupita ku gawo lina. Izi nthawi zambiri zimakhala zokhalitsa, maubwenzi odzipereka komanso okhalitsa moyo wonse.
Kodi Mwamuna Ndi Mkazi Angakhale Anzanu Basi?
Monga zakhazikitsidwa, mphamvu za maubwenzi a amuna ndi akazi kapena psychology yaubwenzi wa mwamuna ndi mkazi ndizovuta kale. Kodi chimachitika ndi chiyani mukaponyera okwatirana mu kusakaniza? Kodi mwamuna ndi mkazi angakhale mabwenzi basi? Kapena kodi mabwenzi oterowo ndi chizindikiro cha kusakhulupirika? Ndipo kodi amuna ndi akazi angakhalebe mabwenzi pambuyo poti mmodzi kapena onse apeza wina wofunikira?
Chifukwa cha maganizo ofala akuti amuna ndi akazi sangakhale mabwenzi, kukhala ndi mabwenzi otere pamene muli kale paubwenzi wodzipereka komanso wa mwamuna mmodzi kungayambitse mavuto ambiri kwa okwatirana ndipo kumakhala nkhani yokangana m'banja.
Anthu ambiri amavomereza kuti pamene kuli kwakuti kukhala ndi mabwenzi akale ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha pambuyo pa ukwati nkololedwa, kupanga maubwenzi atsopano kungatanthauze kuyambitsa mavuto m’banja.
Kupatula apo, yankho la 'Kodi mwamuna ndi mkazi okwatira angakhale mabwenzi chabe?' zimatengeranso mtundu wa equation omwe anzanuwa amagawana ndi mnzanu. Ngati bwenzi lanu ndi mkazi wanu angakhoze kudyera pamodzi nkhomaliro, kapena bwenzi lanu ndi mwamuna wanu angawonerere limodzi masewera, muli pa mapazi olimba kuti mumange ubwenzi wokhalitsa, wolemeretsa umene sudzawononga ukwati wanu.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Mwakhala ndi Friendzone? Tikhulupirireni Kuti Ndi Yabwino Kwa Inu!
Kumbali ina, ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu 'asankha vibe' kapena 'ali ndi matumbo akumva' kuti pali chokopa mu equation yanu, mumakhala ndi mkuntho. Izi zanenedwa, mutha kupanga maubwenzi oterowo kuti agwire ntchito popanda kuwononga ubale wanu malinga ngati mumamatira kumalire ena ofunikira mu ubale wanu.
1. Yamikirani malire atsopano
Pamene munali inuyo ndi mnzanu, mwinamwake munachitira zonse pamodzi. Tsopano popeza mmodzi kapena nonse muli ndi mnzanu, zimenezo ziyenera kusintha. Choncho, sitepe yoyamba ya kusunga ubwenzi kupita popanda kulola izo kusokoneza ubwenzi wanu ndi kuvomereza kuti. Kenako pezani zinthu zatsopano zoti muchite limodzi komwe mungacheze popanda kuda nkhawa kuti muwoloke malire abwino.
Mwachitsanzo, m'malo mwa zakumwa Loweruka usiku, mutha kukumana ndi nkhomaliro mkati mwa sabata. Kapena mutha kulankhulana kudzera m'malemba m'malo momangokhalira kuyimba foni nthawi yayitali.
2. Khalani m'gawo losalowerera ndale
Ubwenzi wapakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi wokwatirana umakhala wogwirizana pamene ubwenzi umodzi susokoneza mnzake. Yambani, povomereza kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amaika patsogolo komanso kuchepetsa nthawi imene mumakhala limodzi ndi mnzanuyo. Musamayembekezere kuti akutsagana nanu kukagula zovala zamkati kapena kupanga mapulani opeza malo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi.
Pezani malo ena osalowerera ndale kuti muzicheza. Kupeza khofi, kupita kukaonera masewera, kucheza ndi anzanu ambiri…izi zonse ndi zosankha zoyenera.
3. Samalani ndi mphatso
Tiyerekeze kuti ndi tsiku lobadwa la mnzanu, ndipo mumamugulira zodzikongoletsera zokongola pamene mwamuna wake akumugulira diresi. Kapena mumamugulira kamera, pamene mkazi wake akumupatsa magalasi adzuwa. Pepani! Ngakhale simukufuna kutero, mutha kuwononga kudzikuza ndi kukwiyitsa mkazi wa mnzanuyo. Choncho, musachite chilichonse chokhudza mphatso zanu chifukwa choti nthawi zonse mumachita zimenezo.
4. Pangani ubwenzi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu
Kodi mwamuna ndi mkazi angakhale mabwenzi basi? Inde, bola ngati ndi platonic. Njira yabwino yotsimikizira mwamuna kapena mkazi wa mnzanuyo za zimenezo kuposa kuyesetsa kupanga nawo ubale wodziimira payekha. Atulutseni kuti mukamwe khofi kapena kukagula zinthu, yesani kuwadziwa bwino kuti athe kukhala otsimikiza kuti zomwe mumagawana ndi ubwenzi weniweni pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi.
5. Osasunga chakukhosi
Mwina pakhala nthawi ina m'moyo wanu pamene munali mbali ya moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku wa wina ndi mnzake koma tsopano simunamvepo kuchokera kwa mnzanu kwa milungu ingapo kapena miyezi ingapo. Musasunge chakukhosi. Ndi gawo la kukula. Moyo umachitika, mumakhala otanganidwa ndipo mumasiyana maganizo. Ngati zimenezo zitachitika, siyani chakukhosi ndi mkwiyo wanu . Muyenera kupitiriza popanda kukwiya. Inu ndi mnzanu nthawi zonse mudzakhala ndi malo apadera mumtima mwa wina ndi mnzake.
Kodi Mwamuna ndi Mkazi Angakhale Anzanu Basi?
Chotero, kodi amuna ndi akazi angakhale mabwenzi apamtima? Inde, angathedi. Zedi, pali zidziwitso pa equation iyi, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti ikhale yosangalatsa koma yokakamiza. Malingana ngati onse omwe akukhudzidwa akugawana chikondi cha platonic ndipo ali pa tsamba limodzi pazomwe akufuna ndi zomwe akuyembekezera, abambo ndi amai akhoza kumanga ndi kugawana maubwenzi okhalitsa, ngakhale mmodzi kapena onse awiri akwatirana ndi anthu ena.
Musalole kuti anthu akuuzeni chifukwa chake amuna ndi akazi sangakhale mabwenzi. Ndi njira yamphamvu osati yowongoka. Kumbukirani, ubale wa platonic womwe umadalira malingaliro apansi pamtima si nkhani yowopsa m'dziko lamasiku ano.
Ibibazo
Zingakhale zovuta, koma ndizotheka. Chinthu chokopa ndi chakuti imatha kuchepa. Chifukwa chake ngati sikuli kwachikondi kwenikweni komanso kumangogonana, kungakhale kosavuta kuthana ndi kupitilira. Koma ngati kukopa kwanu kuli kokondana kwambiri, ndiye kukhala mabwenzi kungakhale kovuta kwa inu awiri.
Mabwenzi apamtima a anyamata ndi atsikana ndi ofala kwambiri kuposa momwe mukuganizira. Kungoti anthu salankhula za izi kawirikawiri, sizikutanthauza kuti sizingakhalepo.
Mtheradi angathe. Mkazi akhoza kubweretsa mwatsopano amaonera moyo mnyamata monga bwenzi. Palibe chifukwa chomwe sangakhale ndi mgwirizano wamalingaliro ndi waubwenzi moyo wonse.
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Hmmm IYE!!! Chilichonse cha izi ndi chowona. Monga inde, bwanji ndi LGBT? alinso mabwenzi ndi aliyense koma kodi ali m'chikondi ndi membala aliyense wa Gulu? AYI WABWINO! Tiyeni tikule sichinthu chomwe chimafunika kuti mtsikana ndi mnyamata azikondana ngati ali mabwenzi.