Kudzimvera chisoni pambuyo posudzulana sikwachilendo. Munjira zambiri, ndizomwe zimayembekezeka kuyankha osachepera m'masiku oyamba pambuyo pa kutha. Kupatula apo, mwangotaya gawo lalikulu la moyo wanu ndipo mukumva chisoni ndi kutaikako.
Monga momwe kulili kofunikira kumva chisoni ndikukonza zowawa zonse, ndikofunikira kuti musiye kudzimvera chisoni nthawi ina kuti muzitha kudzichiritsa nokha mutatha kupatukana. Kupitirizabe kukhala wozunzidwa kungakutsekerezeni m'mbuyomo. Izi zikachitika, zimakulepheretsani kupanga maulumikizano atsopano ndikupita patsogolo.
Kuzindikira momwe mungasiyire kumva chisoni ndikudzichiritsa nokha mutatha kusudzulana nokha kungakhale kovuta. Kuti tikuthandizeni kupeza mayankho olondola, tinalankhula ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Juhi Pandey.
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M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kutha kwa chibwenzi nthawi zambiri ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zotopetsa komanso zovutitsa pamoyo. Chifukwa chakugawanika komanso ngati mumafuna kutha kapena ayi, zitha kukupangitsani kumva ngati dziko lanu lonse latembenuzidwa. N’chifukwa chake anthu ambiri amakhala achisoni kwambiri pambuyo posudzulana, atagwidwa ndi maganizo osakhazikika.
Izi zimagwiranso ntchito ngakhale ubale unali woipa kapena si zabwino kwa inu. Kulekana sikumayimira kutayika kwa mgwirizano komanso ziyembekezo zonse, maloto ndi masomphenya amtsogolo omwe mudagawana nawo kale.
Pankhani ya unansi wodzipereka kwa nthaŵi yaitali kumene munali wotsimikiza kuti zimenezi zinayenera kukhala, kulekana kungagwetse moyo wanu m’gawo losadziŵika limene lingayambitse malingaliro akuti, ‘Ndimadzimvera chisoni chifukwa sindikudziŵanso chochita.’
Mutha kudzipeza kuti mwataika poyesa kukhalanso moyo wosakwatiwa. Nthawi zina, anthu samadziwanso momwe angayankhulire ndi abwenzi, mabanja ndi ana awo pambuyo pa kutha chifukwa chakuti iwo ndi ozama kwambiri ndi ubale womwe ulipo tsopano.
Kuwonjezera pa kusakanizika kukayikira za m’tsogolo, kukayikira za kupezanso chikondi, ndiponso ululu, kukhumudwa, kusokoneza, kupsinjika maganizo, chisoni kungakhale kokulirapo. Podutsa mu chiwonongeko cha moyo, anthu ambiri amalimbana ndi malingaliro otsatirawa ndi malingaliro osweka:
- Gwedeza: Ngati munachititsidwa khungu ndi kupatukanako, kunjenjemera ndi kusazindikira zomwe zidalakwika zimatha kwakanthawi
- Dana: Kumbali ina, ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo mwakhala muubwenzi woipa-kachiwiri mungavutike kuvomereza kuti kutha kwachikhalire. Ngakhale iweyo ndiwe amene wakuyitana
- Chisoni: Kenako pamabwera nthawi yoti 'Ndikumva chisoni kwambiri nditapatukana kuti thupi langa lonse likumva kuwawa' pomwe mumakhala achisoni, odzimvera chisoni komanso osungulumwa.
- Kukambirana: Chisoni chimakula kwambiri ndipo ukuwona kubwereranso ndi wakale wanu ngati njira yokha yopulumukira. Kotero, mumayamba kukambirana, kuyesera kuti muwapindulenso
- Kutengeka: Nthawi ina mutatha kupatukana, mudzayamba kudandaula za zanu ubale wakale ndi mnzake wakale. Kufunafuna mayankho pazomwe zidalakwika, kuyika ubale wanu pansi pa sikani kuti mumvetsetse zomwe zidasoweka, kuzembera wakale wanu pama media ochezera kuti muwone momwe zikuyendera ndi njira zomwe zimadziwonetsera nokha.
- Mkwiyo: Ngati mutakoka chibwenzicho, mungadzikwiyire nokha chifukwa chochita zimenezo komanso chifukwa chokukakamizani kuti mukhale opanda chochita. Ngati ndi njira ina, mumawakwiyira chifukwa chakuswa mtima wanu
- Kulakalaka: Mutha kuyamba kulakalaka ndi kumangokhalira kukangana ndi wakale wanu, zomwe zimangowonjezera kudzimvera chisoni mutatha kutha.
- Kulandira: Kumverera kwa kuvomera kumabwera pokhapokha mutasiya kudzimvera chisoni ndikukhazikitsa mtendere ndi zenizeni. Kuyambira pano, mudzakhala okonzeka kusiya zakale ndikupita patsogolo.
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Monga momwe mukuonera, kuvomereza kusudzulana sikungatheke mpaka mutasiya kudzimvera chisoni. Komabe, kufika pamenepa ndi kuthetsadi chisudzulo mwamsanga n’kosavuta kunena kuposa kuchita. Nthawi zambiri anthu amapezeka kuti ali mumsampha wosatha wa kudzimvera chisoni, kusungulumwa, kulakalaka, mkwiyo ndi ululu pambuyo pa kutha. M'malo mwake, kusuntha ndi kutembenuza tsamba latsopano kungakhale chiyembekezo chosatheka.
Ichi ndichifukwa chake kuphunzira kuzindikira zizindikiro zomwe mukudzimvera chisoni ndikuzichotsa kumakhala kofunikira kuti muchiritse mtima wosweka. “Kusemphana maganizo kungakhale kosokoneza kwambiri ndipo kumakuchititsani kuona ngati kuti moyo wanu wasokonekera.N’zovuta kwambiri kulimbana ndi zinthu ngati zimenezi.
"Kuyesa kuganiza bwino za vutolo ndi mndandanda wa zifukwa zomwe muyenera kusangalala nazo chifukwa cha chisudzulo ndikuyesera kuyang'ana kwina kulikonse sikungagwire ntchito nthawi zonse koma ndi njira yoyenera yodzichiritsira nokha pambuyo pa kusweka. Pankhani ya chikondi, malingaliro athu oganiza bwino sakuyenda bwino. M'malo mwake, kusweka nthawi zambiri kumatipangitsa kuganiza zinthu zoipa kwambiri ponena za ife eni ndipo wina angatifikire ngakhale pang'ono. kutsika mpaka kupsinjika maganizo.
"Izi ndi zina mwa zizindikiro zomwe mukudzimvera chisoni. Koma izi zisakuletseni kufunafuna chisangalalo ndi chisangalalo m'moyo wanu," akutero Juhi. Zotsatirazi zitha kukhala njira zosiyanasiyana zomwe mungasiye kudzimvera chisoni mukatha kutha:
1. Khalani okoma mtima kwa inu nokha kuti muthane ndi kulekana
“Izi n’zosavuta kunena, n’zovuta kuchita, makamaka pamene chisudzulo chikadali chatsopano komanso mabala atsopano.” Ndicho chifukwa chake muyenera kuyesetsa kukhala wachifundo ndi wachifundo kwa inu nokha.
"Zimagwira ntchito ngati njira yabwino yothetsera kudzimvera chisoni. Chinsinsi ndichoyamba pang'onopang'ono. Mutha kutaya chidwi ndi zinthu zomwe zikuzungulirani kapena kupeza kuti simungathe kudya. Ndi nthawi ngati iyi yomwe muyenera kudzikumbutsa kuti kutha si mapeto a moyo wanu, "Juhi akulangiza.
Nthawi zambiri kudzichitira chifundo ndi chinthu chovuta kwambiri kuchita chifukwa sitidziwa momwe tingachitire. Chodabwitsa, yankho ndi losavuta - dzichitireni nokha momwe mungachitire ndi mnzanu wosweka mtima. Dziuzeni kuti palibe vuto kulira kapena kudumphadumpha paphwando ngati simukugwirizana nazo. Dzipatseni nthawi ndi chikondi chomwe mukufuna.
Panthawi imodzimodziyo, perekani timadontho tating'ono tolimbikitsa kuti mutengenso moyo wanu. Zitha kuwoneka ngati njira yochedwa kwambiri, koma ndizotheka.
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2. Iwalani ndi kukhululukira
Malinga ndi Juhi, ndiye m'pofunika kusiya kudzimvera chisoni mutasiyana. “Khalani oleza mtima. Kukhululuka mu ubale Ndikofunikira, koma kukhululuka pambuyo pa maubwenzi nakonso ndikofunikira. Yesani kuiwala ndi kukhululukira wakale wanu pa zimene zinachitika. Ukakhululukira munthu, umadzimasula ndikupangitsa kuti asapitirize kukukhumudwitsani,” anawonjezera motero.
Patricia, yemwe adasiya chibwenzi chake atamugwira kuti akunyengerera, akuvomereza. “Kwa chaka chimodzi, ndinkangodzimvera chisoni ndipo ndinkangokhalira kudzifunsa kuti, 'N'chifukwa chiyani zimenezi zandichitikira?' funso ndinaziwilatu ndi ex wanga ndipo ndimangoganizira mmene anandilakwira.
"Iye, Komano, ndinaphunzira, tsopano anali pachibwenzi ndi mtsikana wina uyu ndikukhala moyo wosakhudzidwa ndi kupatukana. Izi zinandikwiyitsa kwambiri. Zinanditengera miyezi 6 yozindikira, kuyesayesa kwanzeru - ndi kukumana ndi kuledzera kumodzi ndi wakale wanga kumene ndinamuyika monga momwe zinalili - kuti ndipeze mkwiyo wotsalira. Ndinamukhululukira, "ndi zomwe zimandimasula," adatero.
3. Yang'anani pa zabwino kuti musiye kukhumudwa mutatha kupatukana
Zowawa zanu za 'ndimadzimvera chisoni' zidzatha pokhapokha mutasintha lens yanu ndi kuganizira zinthu zabwino. Monga akunena, mtambo wakuda uliwonse uli ndi siliva. Ngakhale sizimamva choncho pamene muli pakhosi mozama mu mtima wodzimvera chisoni. Kuti muthe kusiya kudzimvera chisoni, muyenera kusintha maganizo anu ndi kuganizira zimene zili zofunika kwambiri.
Ganizirani kwambiri zabwino za kutha kwa banja. Mwina simunali abwino kwa wina ndi mzake. Mwinamwake ubwenziwo unali wopanda thanzi. Kapena panali zovuta zoyambira ndi mavuto a ubale izo zikanabweretsa vuto pa mgwirizano wanu. Mwina zinangoyenera kuchitika basi ndipo ndi bwino kuti mudule tsopano m'malo motalikitsa ndikumva kupweteka kwambiri pambuyo pake.
Mfundo yakuti munaganiza zosiyanirana imasonyeza kuti pali vuto. Pezani chitonthozo pa mfundo yakuti ubwenzi unatha tsopano osati zaka zingapo pansi mzere.
Juhi anati, “Yesani kuganizira zinthu zabwino ndi kupeza zinthu zabwino m’mikhalidweyo. Cholinga chanu chiyenera kukhala pakuona chithunzithunzi chachikulu bwino lomwe. Konzani kutha kwa kutha mwa kutsimikizira mfundo yakuti kunali kosapeŵeka ndipo zikanadzachitika panthaŵi ina. Zikakhala bwino! Izi zingamveke zachilendo koma zimagwiradi ntchito.”
4. Dzilimbikitseni kuti muchotse maganizo othetsa banja
Langizo la Juhi ndi loti kuti mudzichiritse mukatha kutha, muyenera kuyesa kuchita zinthu zomwe zimakusangalatsani. Kutha kukhala kokagula zinthu, kuwerenga mabuku, kucheza ndi okondedwa anu, kuchita zinthu zomwe mumakonda komanso zokonda.
Martha anati: “Ndinasiyana ndi bwenzi langa patatsala milungu iwiri kuti ukwati wathu uchitike.” Zinthu zonse kuyambira pa tsiku lalikulu mpaka kuphwando laukwati zinali zitakonzedwa mpaka kalekale.
Kenako, pamalingaliro a mnzanga, zibwenzi zanga za zibwenzi - omwe amayenera kukhala azikwati anga - ndipo ndinapita ku tchuthi chomwe ndidakonza, ndikutulutsa tsamba la Kugonana ndi Mzinda. Pofuna kuti ndisiye kukhumudwa nditasiyana, iwo ankaganiza kuti iyi inali njira yokhayo. Zinali zodabwitsa komanso zomvetsa chisoni poyamba koma pamapeto pake ndinadzipeza ndili ndi nthawi yabwino. Ulendowu unandipindulitsa kwambiri, ndipo unandipangitsa kuti ndiyambe kuchira nditasiyana kwambiri.”
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5. Pumulani pazama TV
Ma social media ndi kupatukana sikulumikizana bwino, tikhulupirireni pa izi. Zithunzi za maanja okondwa pamndandanda wanu wanthawi zimatha kugunda ngati kugunda kwakuthwa, kukulitsa kusungulumwa kwanu komanso kulakalaka. Kenako, pali chikhumbo chokakamiza sungani ex wanu pa social media kuti azisunga zomwe akhala akuchita. Inde, tonse timachita! Kotero palibe chifukwa chokanira kwa ife kwa inu nokha.
Malingaliro anu achisoni osweka amangokulitsa mukawawona akukhala ndipo simulinso gawo la moyowo. Ndipo choyipitsitsa cha zonse ndikuwona 'winawake wapadera' munkhani zawo kapena zolemba zawo zitha kukhala zopweteketsa mtima. Mofananamo, ngati muona kuti akuoneka kuti sakudodometsedwa ndi kulekanako, kungawonjezere mkhalidwe wachisoni umenewo wakudzimvera chisoni.
Juhi akuti, "Ndi bwino kuti mupume pang'onopang'ono pa malo onse ochezera a pa Intaneti. Zidzakuthandizani m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Choyamba, musamavutikenso ndi mwamuna wanu wakale. Chachiwiri, mudzakhala kutali ndi mitundu ina ya zoipa zomwe zingakukhudzeni pogwiritsa ntchito malo ochezera a pa Intaneti. Pomaliza, mudzakhala ndi nthawi yambiri yodzipatulira."
6. Lumikizananinso ndi anthu anu kuti musiye kukhumudwa mukatha kutha
“Yesetsani kuona izi motere: Mwana akavulazidwa, amapita kwa amayi ndi atate wake, amene angawatonthoze, kuwatonthoza, ndi kuwapangitsa kumva bwino.” Pamene tikukula, timasiya kugwirizana ndi mwana wa mkati mwathu.
Kukhala ndi nthawi yocheza ndi okondedwa anu kungakhale njira yabwino kwambiri yothanirana ndi kusungulumwa mukatha kutha. Kusiyapo pyenepi, mungaona kuti ndimwe akufuniwani na kukutsalakanani, imwe musaona kuti mwaluza. Ngati mukukhala mu PJs ndi kudziganizira nokha, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndikudziimba mlandu ndekha chifukwa chosweka?", Ndiye mwamsanga tsitsani maganizo amenewo ndikuyitanira mnzanu. Kuthera nthawi ndi anzanu ikuyenera kupangitsa tsiku lanu kukhala labwino nthawi yomweyo!
Anthu omwe amakukondani nthawi zonse amakuthandizani kuzindikira kufunikira kwanu. Ndikosavuta kulola kuti chisudzulo choyipa chikulepheretseni ndikudzifunsa nokha ngati munthu. Koma mabwenzi abwino adzakupatsani galasi ndikuwonetsani kuti ndinu wabwino kwambiri kuposa pamenepo. Chifukwa chake, dalirani anzanu kuti akuthandizeni. Imbani bwenzi lanu pamene mukufuna kutuluka. Gwiritsani ntchito Loweruka ndi Lamlungu kwa makolo anu, ndikumakusangalatsani komwe amachita.
7. Muziganizira kwambiri ntchito yanu
Pambuyo pa kupatukana komwe kunamupweteka kwambiri, Jackson adapezeka kuti akumira chifukwa cha zowawa ndi zowawa. “Umamvabe anthu akunena kuti umakhala wachisoni kwambiri pambuyo pa kulekana koma sudziŵa kwenikweni tanthauzo lake kufikira zitafika kunyumba.” Ndinakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi zanga kotero kuti ndinkadzuka m’maŵa uliwonse ndikumva kuwawa kwadzaoneni ndi kumva kuti ndili ndi katundu wolemera pachifuwa. Zinali ngati kuti sinditha kupuma.
“Popanda kudziŵa njira ina yochotsera malingaliro ameneŵa, ndinayamba ntchito.
Juhi akukhulupiriranso kuti ndi njira yabwino yothanirana ndi zomwe zingakufikitseni mpaka kusiya kudzimvera chisoni. "Kodi mungaiwale bwanji wakale wanu? Yesani kuchita maphunziro kapena ntchito kuti mukweze luso lanu. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yochuluka mu ofesi. Kapena ngati ndinu wophunzira, khalani ndi nthawi yochuluka mulaibulale, mukuwerenga chinachake. Kuwerenga nkhani zolimbikitsa kungapangitse munthu kumva bwino kwambiri kuposa momwe angaganizire, "akutero.
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8. Khalani ndi nthawi yodzifufuza ndikudzichiritsa nokha mutasiyana
“Nthaŵi zonse pamene maganizo anu ali ndi maganizo olakwika, patulani nthaŵi yodzifufuza ngati mukufunadi kudzichiritsa nokha pambuyo pa kulekana.
“Zoonadi, izi ndi zitsanzo zochepa chabe zokuthandizani kumvetsa mmene kufunsa mafunso oyenerera kungakupatseni mayankho ofunikira kuti mupitirizebe.” Kumakuthandizani kukhala ndi lingaliro lomveka bwino la chifuno cha moyo ndi kukuthandizani. kuthetsa kutha msanga. Muyenera kuyang'ana chithunzi chachikulu kuti muchotse zopinga zosafunika.
"Mukayang'ana dongosolo lalikulu la zinthu, kupatukana - mosasamala kanthu koipa kapena kowononga - kungawoneke ngati kampu yaing'ono paulendo wautali wa moyo," akutero Juhi.
9. Dziperekeni ku chizoloŵezi chokhazikika kuti mugonjetse kuthetsa mwamsanga
“Mumamva chisoni kwambiri mutatha kupatukana mwakuti mukhoza kumathera nthaŵi yanu yochuluka mukudzigudubuza ndi kulira, mutatsekeredwa m’makoma anayi a chipinda chanu.” Ngakhale kuti si bwino kukhala ndi nthaŵi yachisoni ndi kudya ayisikilimuyo kwa masiku angapo, chofunika kwambiri ndicho kudziŵa nthaŵi yoti muime ndi kuyesetsa kubwezeretsa moyo wanu m’njira yoyenera.
Munthu akanena kuti 'Lekani kudzimvera chisoni', amangokufunirani zabwino zokhazokha ndipo akufuna kukuwonani momwe mungayendere bwino momwe mungathere. Chifukwa chake musamadzimvere chisoni ndipo yesetsani kupeza njira yabwino yopulumutsira yomwe imakusangalatsani.
"Sikophweka ngakhale pang'ono kukonzekeretsa, koma kukhala ndi chizoloŵezi chochita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi - kaya kupita kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi, kuvina, kupita kokayenda - kungathe kutsitsimutsa kutuluka kwa timadzi timene timatchedwa endorphins. zifukwa zolimbitsa thupi zoseketsa ndi kusuntha. Izi zimakupangitsani kumva bwino mwachibadwa, kukuthandizani kuthetsa chisoni ndi kudzimvera chisoni.
Sichapafupi kusiya kudzimvera chisoni pambuyo posiyana. Koma ndizotheka, ndipo nazonso popanda kuwononga miyezi yambiri ya moyo wanu mukulira maliro. Kupambana pa izi kumafuna chikhumbo champhamvu, kudzipereka ndi kuleza mtima.
Kuti mumve zambiri zamakanema akatswiri chonde lembani ku Youtube Channel yathu. Dinani apa.
Ibibazo
Kuti mudzibwezere nokha mutatha kusweka, choyamba, muyenera kudzilola kuti mukhale ndi chisoni. Kunyamula chisoni chonse, mkwiyo kapena kupweteka mkati kumangotalikitsa njira ya machiritso ndikupita patsogolo. Mukachita zimenezo, ganizirani zimene zili patsogolo m’malo mongoyang’ana pa galasi loonera kumbuyo.
Zimatenga nthawi yayitali bwanji mutatha kusudzulana zimadalira zinthu monga momwe munali paubwenzi, momwe munali otanganidwa kwambiri, ngati munakonzekera kutha pamlingo wina, komanso momwe mulili okonzeka kuthana nazo.
Kudzimvera chisoni mukatha kutha ndi chilengedwe koma kuyesetsa kuyenera kukhala kuti musalole kuti kumverera kumangirire mpaka simungadutse.
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