Momwe Mungasiya Kukondana ndi Winawake - Malangizo 9 Opangira Kuti Zichitike

"Kugwa m'chikondi si njira yochepa kusiyana ndi kugwa." - Michel French, Wolemba.

Chikondi, monga akunena, ndi chinthu chokongola kwambiri. Nthawi zina, zinthu zikasokonekera, palibe chochita koma kusiya chikondi chomwe chili ndi fungulo la mtima wanu. Vuto ndilo kuphunzira momwe mungasinthire chikondi - chifukwa cha inu nokha komanso cha munthu winayo. Kungakhale chikondi chachikondi chogawana pakati pa okondedwa kapena malingaliro a umodzi ndi chisamaliro chomwe mumagawana ndi mnzanu kapena mbale wanu. Ikatha, imatha.

Mulimonse momwe zingakhalire ndi inu kapena momwe ubale wanu uliri, chowonadi nchakuti, ndizovuta kwambiri kusiya kukonda munthu. Zimatengera khama la herculean kuti ligonjetse wina pomwe zosiyana zimachitika mwachilengedwe. Koma n’chifukwa chiyani n’zovuta kwambiri kuwathetsa pamene kukondana nawo kunali kosavuta? Kodi mkanganowu utenga nthawi yayitali bwanji? Ndipo mungatani kuti mulole kutsanzikana? Tiyeni tipeze mayankho a mafunso anu onse oyaka moto.

Kugwa M'chikondi - Chifukwa Chiyani Ndikovuta?

Yankho losavuta kwambiri la funsoli ndiloti chikondi chimamveka bwino, ndipo timakhala okonda zomwe timamva bwino. Sizingakhale zotalika kunena kuti chikondi ndi chizoloŵezi. Kusiya kukonda pamene chikondi chinamva bwino n'chovuta, chifukwa chofanana ndi kusiya kudya mukakhala ndi njala. Chikondi chimadzaza chosowa chathu choyambirira cha ubale wapamtima ndi munthu wina ndikuzilola kuti zipite kumawoneka ngati kovuta chifukwa:

• Chikondi chimamva bwino: Kafukufuku watsimikizira kwa nthawi yayitali zotsatira zachilengedwe za chikondi chachikulu pa matupi athu. Tengani izi phunziro mwachitsanzo, zomwe, zimakamba za momwe chikondi, kusilira, kukopa, kugwirizana, ndi bwenzi zimathandizira kutulutsidwa kwa mahomoni osiyanasiyana ofunikira komanso omveka bwino m'thupi.
• Kupanda chikondi n'kopweteka: Kumbali ina, izi phunziro amakumana ndi zowawa zosweka. Limanena momwe chidziwitso chodziwikiratu chokakamizidwa kuchoka kwa munthu yemwe mumamukonda chifukwa chakukhala kapena kumva kuti akukanidwa ndi anthu ndi chimodzimodzi kumva kuwawa kwenikweni.
• Kusiya kukonda ndikusiya kulota: Simukudziwabe chifukwa chake zakhala zovuta kwa inu kutero gonjetsani munthuyo mukuyesera kuiwala? Tengani izi. Nthawi yomwe mudakondana ndi munthu uyu, mosazindikira munayamba kukonzekera tsogolo ndi iwo, kapena kuganiza za cholinga chimodzi, maloto ogawana, kapena kukwaniritsidwa kwamalingaliro kwamtundu wina posachedwa. Tsopano, kuchotsa ndi kuchotsa, kumatanthauza kupondereza ziyembekezo, maloto ndi kuthekera kwa chisangalalo. Palibe zodabwitsa kuti chibadwa chanu chimatsutsa kuumirira kwanu kuti mupite patsogolo
• Kusintha ndikovuta: Kutengera ndi ubale wanu ndi munthuyu, kugwa mchikondi ndikusintha momwe zinthu zakhalira. Ndipo kusintha kumakhala kovuta nthawi zonse

Pazifukwa zonsezi, kudzikakamiza kuti usiyane ndi munthu yemwe umamukonda kumatha kukhala kosokoneza komanso kowawa. Kudziwa izi ndi gawo lofunikira loyamba chifukwa kumakupatsani mwayi woyika zowawa zanu. Zimakuthandizani kuti muziyandikira nokha mokoma mtima komanso mokhudzidwa ndikukukumbutsani kuti mupume pang'ono!

Momwe Mungasiya Kukondana ndi Winawake - Malangizo 9

Pali zifukwa zosiyanasiyana zomwe mwina mudamva kufunika kofafaniza munthu wapaderayo pamtima panu, monga:

• Chikondi chosayenerera: Ngati chikondi chanu sichinabwezedwe mosasamala kanthu za zoyesayesa zanu zonse, palibe chifukwa chomamatira ku chinyengo. Zikatero, ndi bwino kuphunzitsa mtima wanu momwe mungasiyanitsire ndi munthuyo maganizo asanakule
• Ukwati wosweka kapena chikondi chotayika: Mphamvu pakati pa inu ndi mnzanuyo ikufa ndipo palibe njira yopititsira patsogolo ubale womwe watayika. Pakhoza kukhala palibe chifukwa chowonekera kapena gawo lomwe layambitsa izi. Chikoka chomwe chakusonkhanitsani mwina sichingakhalepo kapena inu nonse munapeza zinthu zosiyana kapena zolinga za moyo popanda malire. Milandu iyi imafuna kusamala pang'ono ndi luso kuti mungosiya kukonda ndikuphwanya ubale
• Chikondi choletsedwa: Palinso nthawi zina pomwe mwina mtima wanu waphonya masitepe angapo ndikupita patali kwambiri ndipo mwapeza kuti mukungofuna munthu yemwe sangakhale wanu. Mwachitsanzo, a mgwirizano wovuta. Pachifukwa ichi, mukukakamizika kudzipanga nokha chifukwa cha chikondi, kunena ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi, chifukwa adadzipereka kale kwa wina. Zimenezinso zingachititse kuti munthu asamavutike kwambiri
• Kugawanika kwa Plato: Potsirizira pake, pali nthawi zina pamene mnzanu kapena wina wapafupi ndi inu angakhale atachitapo kanthu kuti akupwetekeni, zomwe zimakupangitsani kufuna kuchoka pamoyo wawo. Zochitika zoterezi zingakhale zovuta pamene mukulimbana ndi momwe mungasiyire kukonda munthu amene ali ndi tanthauzo lalikulu kwa inu

Ziribe kanthu chifukwa chomwe muyenera kuphunzira kuiwala munthu yemwe mumamukonda kapena kugonjetsa wina, muyenera kukonzekera "kuphunzira" komabe. Chifukwa, monga momwe tafotokozera poyamba, kugwa m’chikondi ndi njira. Nawa maupangiri:

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungathetsere Ubwenzi Pabwino

1. Vomerezani kuti zidzatenga nthawi

Kotero inu munachoka mu chiyanjano ndi kunyada kwanu. Tsoka ilo, simunawerengerepo za masiku akulira omwe mumakhala mukuganizira za wakale wanu. Tsopano inu muli pano, kuyesera kulingalira momwe mungapitirire munthu mofulumira. Sangalalani, simungasiye kukondana ndi wakale wanu mu jiffy. Machiritso amatenga nthawi kotero lolani kuti mukhale osweka mtima ndi kuwaganizira kwakanthawi.

Kumvetsera gulu lawo lomwe amakonda, kudya zakudya zotsekemera zomwe inu nonse mumakumana nazo nthawi zonse, kapena podutsa malo ogulitsira zovala zomwe amakonda - mphindi ngati izi zimakupangitsani kuganizira zomwe zikanapita mosiyana ndi chifukwa chake zinthu zidalakwika. Ndikwachibadwa kufunsa mafunsowa kotero dzipatseni inu nokha ndi mtima wanu nthawi yokonza ndi kuchiritsa. Dziuzeni kuti, “Kupatula nthawi n’kovomerezeka.”

2. Introspect - Ganizirani zifukwa zanu

Pofuna kukuthandizani kuiwala munthu amene mumamukonda, muyenera kutsimikizira zifukwa zanu. Kodi mudawakondanso? Munakonda chiyani pa iwo? N’chifukwa chiyani muyenera kuwaiwala? Zikutanthauza chiyani ngati simungathe? Ndi chiyani chomwe chili pachiwopsezo? Mutha kuyeseza kulemba. Mu magazini muyenera kulemba zotsatirazi:

• Kodi chinali chikondi chenicheni? Anthu ambiri amasokoneza kukopa ndi kutengeka mtima kwa chikondi. Mwina, mumasangalala ndi chiyembekezo cha chikondi chatsopano ndipo pamene chidwi sichikubwezedwa, kusatetezeka kwanu kumakupangitsani kumva ngati okanidwa ndipo mumasokoneza izi ndi chikondi chenicheni.
• Chifukwa chiyani ndiyenera kuyiwala? Dzifunseni nokha chomwe chapangitsa kuti mufike sitejiyi kuti muwatsanzike. Ngati pali china chake cholakwika chokhudza wokondedwa wanu kapena ubale wanu chifukwa chake muyenera kusiya kuwawona, lembani. Lembani chifukwa chake sizinathandize. Pambuyo pake, mukawaphonya, mndandandawu udzakukumbutsani chifukwa chake kunali kofunikira kuti muthe
• Ziwopsezo zingati? Dzifunseni nokha kuti chikanachitika bwanji ngati simunawalole kupita? Kodi zikanakhudza ndani ndipo motani?
• Chifukwa chiyani kuziiwala kuli kwabwino kwa ine? Lembani njira zonse zomwe zingatheke kuti kuswekaku kukhale kopindulitsa kuti muvule magalasi amtundu wa duwa omwe mukulira nawo

Mukangodzitsimikizira momwe moyo wanu ungasinthire kukhala wabwino mukaganiza zothetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu woyipa kwa inu, zitha kukhala zosavuta. Kulemba zinthu kungakupangitseni kuti muyandikire mbali yomveka bwino ya zinthu ndikukupangitsani kuti musagonje pang'ono kugonjera kukumbukira.

Umu ndi momwe anachitira izi: Sammy atazindikira kuti ubale wake wa miyezi itatu ndi Trevor sunali ubale weniweni, adamugonjetsa mwachangu. Anazindikira kuti kuganizira kwambiri za iye ndiye chinthu chokhacho chomwe chinkamukoka kwa iye. Kunena zoona, panalibe chilichonse chachilengedwe kapena chenicheni pakati pawo. Atafika pomvetsetsa izi, zinaonekeratu kuti sankamukonda kwenikweni koma anangodzitsimikizira kuti amamukonda.

3. Kusawoneka ndi misala

Njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera vuto lililonse la chizolowezi ndi kuchepetsa mphamvu zake kapena kupanga mtunda pakati pa inu ndi munthu amene mumamukonda. Ngati mukufuna kusiya kuganizira za wakale wanu kapena munthu amene chikondi chake chaletsedwa, muyenera kusiya kulankhulana naye. Inde, mutha kukonzekera malire omwe simunawalankhule ngati mukufuna kukhalabe mabwenzi abwino mtsogolo. Koma pakadali pano, simungathe kuwachotsa m'thupi lanu pokhapokha mutawachotsa m'moyo wanu. Nazi malangizo ena oti muchotse maganizo anu pang'onopang'ono pamalingaliro awo:

• Osayendera malo omwe amapitako
• Atonthoze kapena asawatsatire pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti (kuti musawatsatire komanso kuti asatuluke pazakudya zanu nthawi iliyonse mukawatsitsimutsa)
• Chotsani zokambirana kuti musakopeke kuwayenderanso
• Ngati mukufuna, chonde siyani kulumikizana ndi anzanu omwe muli nawo
• Chotsani zinthu zomwe zimakukumbutsani za wakale wanu ngati mungathe, monga zinthu zawo kapena zina zomwe anakupatsani

Tengani nthawi yonse yomwe mukufunika kusonkhanitsa mphamvu kuti mupitilize popanda iwo. Simufunika kukumbukira kukufunika mobwerezabwereza. Dzipatseni nokha kupuma koyera!

Kuwerenga Kofanana: N’chifukwa Chiyani Akazi Akale Amakuyang’anani Pa Malo Ochezera a Pa Intaneti?

4. Dziikireni tsiku lomaliza

Inde, tikukulangizani kuti mutenge nthawi yanu. Koma dzipatseni nthawi yofikira m'maganizo ponena za nthawi yomwe mudzalira. Ngakhale palibe yankho lotsimikizika kuti zimatenga nthawi yayitali bwanji kuti mupambane ndi munthu wina, simungapitirize kugwedezeka ndikudikirira chikondi chanu chotayika kwamuyaya. Zosavuta kunena kuposa kuchita, tikudziwa! Chikondi chikatha mwadzidzidzi, zimakhala zovuta kuyang'ana zam'tsogolo. Luso la kuphunzira kuiwala munthu amene mumamukonda kumaphatikizapo kukhazikitsa zolinga zamaganizo anu. Lingalirani ngati malire abwino kwa inu nokha.

Koma apa pali chikumbutso chaubwenzi kuti mukhale wodekha ndi inu nokha. Dzipatseni nthawi yomwe mukufuna, koma musalole kuti muzichita kudzidetsa komanso kudzimvera chisoni. Muyenera kuyandikira munthu wosweka ngati momwe mumachitira mwana. Khalani wolimba komanso wodekha. Dziwongolereni nokha kuchoka m'masautso anu.

Tikadakhala kuti panali mankhwala enaake kapena njira yoti tingosiya, koma zonse zimadalira inu ndi chisankho chimodzi chomwe chimati, "Ndiyenera kusiya kudzimvera chisoni . Ndiyenera kuganizira za ine ndekha." Muyenera kudzisinthanso m'maganizo ngati mukufunadi kuwaiwala ndikupitiriza.

5. Muziopa kukhala mbeta

Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe zimachititsa kuti kusiya chikondi kukhale kovuta ndichakuti kusintha sikusangalatsa. Mungadziwe kuti chibwenzicho chilibe tsogolo koma mumapitiriza chifukwa lingaliro lokhalanso wosakwatiwa kapena moyo mutatha kusudzulana limakuopsani. Njira yokhayo yothetsera mantha awa ndikukumana nawo. Koma sikuyenera kukhala kovuta monga momwe zimamvekera. Kukonzekera moyo womwe ukukuyembekezerani mbali ina ya chibwenzichi ndikofunikira.

Ngati mwakhala muubwenzi wodzipereka kwanthawi yayitali, moyo wanu wokhazikika uyenera kupanga lingaliro lokhalanso wosakwatiwa kukhala lowopsa. Kuwonjezera pamenepo, ana odalira kapena maudindo ena! Kukonzekera, pamenepa, kungatenge kuyesetsa kwambiri ndipo kungaphatikizepo zinthu monga kulankhula ndi mlangizi wa zachuma, kuyang'ana pa renti, kupeza ntchito mumzinda wina, ndi zina zotero. Zingakhale zovuta ndipo zingatenge nthawi yaitali. Koma zidzakupangitsani kukhala odzidalira kwambiri kwa nthawi yayitali.

Umu ndi momwe adachitira izi: Jessica atazindikira kuti kudikira kwambiri chibwenzi china kumangomupangitsa kukhala wachisoni kwambiri ndipo anali kuganizira kwambiri za wakale wake, adaganiza zoyamba kukhala wosakwatiwa mu ulemerero wake wonse. Analowa nawo kalasi yophunzitsa anthu za kugonana, ankadzipereka ku malo osungira agalu madzulo, ndipo anayamba kukumana ndi atsikanawo kuti amwe zakumwa kumapeto kwa sabata iliyonse! Tengani izi kuchokera kwa Jessica - kukhala wosakwatiwa mosangalala ndikuyesera kudzizindikiranso nokha ndi njira yabwino kwambiri kuposa kuvutika ndi ululu wa chikondi chotayika.

6. Pezani zinthu zomwe zingasinthe maganizo anu achisoni

Njira imodzi yochepetsera kumverera kwa kulibe ndikusintha dzenje lomwe amasiya ndi chinthu china. Mutangosiya kukondana ndi bwenzi lanu lapamtima kapena mnzanu kwazaka zambiri, mutha kuganiza kuti palibe amene angawalowe m'malo koma simukufuna wolowa m'malo. Mukuyang'ana njira zathanzi, zinthu zatanthauzo, maubwenzi, ndi zokumana nazo zomwe zitha kukhala njira yothanirana ndi malingaliro oyipa ndikukuthandizani kuti mupirire munthawi yovutayi. Nazi zina zomwe mungayesere:

• Khalani ndi lingaliro lolowa m'malo: Nthawi iliyonse mukawaganizira, muziganizira mfundo yosangalatsa imene mumakhulupirira. Zimenezi zidzakuthandizani kupewa kudzimvera chisoni.
• Ndipo ntchito yowonjezera: Muyenera kudziwa zomwe mungatsamire nthawi iliyonse mukakumana ndi zokumbukira. Mwachitsanzo, dziuzeni kuti, “Nthawi zonse ndikawasowa, ndimapita kunyumba kwanga, kuvala nsapato zanga n’kutuluka kokayenda.
• Kumanani ndi anthu atsopano: Ayi, sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera a liwiro chibwenzi spree chifukwa ukhoza kukhalabe wofooka pang'ono kuti utenge izo. Zomwe tikukulangizani ndikuti mungowonetsetsa kuti muli ndi abwenzi okulirapo komanso anthu oti azikuthandizani mukakhumudwa

Umu ndi momwe anachitira izi: Jim ndi mphunzitsi, ndipo pamene mnzake wachikondi analoŵa m’banja ndi wakale wake, Jim ankaona kuti ululu wake sunathe. Kenako, iye anaganiza njira yosinthira maganizo ake mpaka maganizo ake atayamba kumuchitira zimenezo. Nthawi iliyonse akamaganizira za iye, ankadziuza yekha kuti, “Ophunzira anga amandikonda kwambiri. Ndili ndi chikondi chachikulu m’moyo wanga.” Ankadziwa zomwe ayenera kuchita akamusowa. Anasiya chilichonse chimene ankachita ndi kuonera filimu pokonzekera maphunziro omwe ankaphunzitsa. Kukonda ntchito yake kunamuthandiza kuchira.

7. Yesetsani kukhala osamala kuti muthetse chikondi cha mbali imodzi

Chikondi chosabwezera ndi chinthu chovuta kuchiiwala ndi kuchithana nacho. Kuyesa kusiya chikondi ndi munthu amene simunakhalepo naye pachibwenzi kumabweretsa mavuto ake chifukwa mtima umalakalaka chinthu chomwe sichinali chanu. Kuchita zinthu mosamala kungakuthandizeni kuvomereza mkhalidwewo momwe ulili. Ziganizo zotsatirazi zingamveke ngati zanzeru kwambiri, koma kudzifufuza kotereku kungakhale kothandiza kwambiri. Ganizirani izi pang'ono:

• Sindingathe kusintha, sichoncho?
• Ndichomwe chili
• Chikondi ndi chinthu chabwino. Ndine woyamikira chifukwa cha kuthekera kwanga kokonda
• Munthu yekhayo amene angandiperekeze moyo wanga wonse ndi ine ndekha. Ndine mnzanga weniweni. Kudzikonda ndi chikondi chenicheni
• Palibe chinthu ngati ubale wolephera
• Palibe nthawi yaubwenzi. Ulendo umene umatha, umangotha. Si ulendo wolephera kapena wosakwanira

8. Yesani kudzisamalira

Njira ina yodzazira chosowa chomwe chikondi chanu pa iwo chinasiya ndi kuchisintha ndi kudzikonda nokha ndikusamalira moyo wanu. Mutu watsopano m'moyo wanu ukukuyembekezerani ndipo muyenera kusonkhanitsa mphamvu kuti mutembenuze tsamba ndikupeza chisangalalo. Kudzikonda nokha kungakuchiritseni kuposa china chilichonse. Pakhoza kukhala mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya kudzisamalira, ina mwa iyo ndi:

• Yesani zatsopano: Chitani zinthu zatsopano, tsatirani zokonda zatsopano, lowani kalasi, phunzirani luso linalake, kapena lowani nawo gulu linalake
• Yesetsani kukhala ndi moyo mu 'tsopano': Bweretsani kusintha kwachizoloŵezi chanu, pezani khoma ndi mtundu watsopano kapena chitani chinachake chophiphiritsa kuti musiye maganizo olakwika okakamira.
• Phunzirani njira zoganizira: Yoga ndi kusinkhasinkha kungakuthandizeni kuchiza ndi kulimbikitsa kuchokera mkati
• Ikani patsogolo zofuna zanu: Muyenera kudziyang'ana nokha ndi chikondi chochuluka ngati munthu amene mukuyesera kuti musinthe. Dzipatseni nokha chilichonse chomwe mungafune kuti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino ndi inu nokha
• Phatikizanipo mayendedwe muzochita zanu: Simukuyenera kudzilanga nokha pokakamiza kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi. M'malo mwake yang'anani njira zopangira zophatikizirapo mayendedwe m'moyo wanu. Malingaliro ena? Kusambira, kupita kumayendedwe a cholowa, kuvina, kulima dimba

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 15 Zobisika Zosonyeza Kuti Kusudzulana Kwayandikira Ndipo Mnzanu Akufuna Kupita Patsogolo

9. Fufuzani chithandizo mwachangu

Okondedwa anu adzakhala njira yabwino kwambiri yopezera ndalama mukamayesetsa kutuluka muubwenzi woipa kapena woipa . Muzidalira iwo. Chepetsani mtolo mwa kuwagawana nawo. Iwo akhoza kukhala chithandizo chanu chachikulu pamene mukuyesera kukambirana za malingaliro anu osiyanasiyana. Angakupatseninso malingaliro atsopano.

Kupatula apo, kukhala ndi nthawi yocheza ndi anzanu komanso achibale anu kumakupangitsani kuzindikira kuti ndinu okondedwa komanso apadera. Chisamaliro chawo, nkhaŵa zawo, ndi chikondi chawo pa inu zidzakuthandizani kuzindikira kuti ndinu wofunika kwambiri kuposa pamenepo.

Kukhala mbali ya ubale womwe umafuna kuti musiye kukonda munthu amene mumamukonda kungakusokonezeni maganizo ndi maganizo. Kudzimvera chisoni kungayambitse mavuto odziona ngati wopanda pake, mavuto okhulupirirana mtsogolo, nkhawa, komanso kuvutika maganizo. Musazengereze kupita kwa katswiri ngati mukulimbana ndi vutoli. Ngati mukufuna zimenezo, gulu la akatswiri a Bonobology lilipo kuti likuthandizeni.

Simuyenera kudziimba mlandu chifukwa chosiya chikondi kapena kusafuna kudzipereka kwa munthu amene si wanu. Maubwenzi amasintha pakapita nthawi ndipo ndi bwino kunena moona mtima zakukhosi kwanu m'malo mongoganizira za kulumikizana kolakwika. Mutha kuvutika ndi liwongo ndikudabwa momwe mungagwere m'chikondi popanda kuvulaza munthu wanu wapadera koma musakhale aukali pa inu nokha. Nthawi imachiritsa mabala onse ndipo ichiritsanso awo.

Nkhaniyi yasinthidwa mu Okutobala, 2022.

Ibibazo

Kukhala Anzanu Ndi Ex Mumakondabe - Zinthu 8 Zomwe Zingachitike

Kodi Mungathetse Bwanji Chibwenzi Mwachangu? - Malangizo 8 Oti Mubwerere Mwamsanga

Njira Yoyenera Yogwiritsira Ntchito Mphamvu Yachete Pambuyo Pakutha

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.