Kodi Kukhala ndi Chibwenzi Ndi Chizoloŵezi Choledzera N'chokhazikika? Werengani Nkhani Yoona Iyi

Zanenedwa mobwerezabwereza kuti mankhwala osokoneza bongo amawononga maubwenzi ndi chibwenzi ndi chidakwa sichingakhale chathanzi. Kukhala paubwenzi ndi chidakwa ndi chinthu chodetsa nkhawa komanso chotopetsa. Kumadziŵika ndi chiyembekezo chokhazikika chakuti zinthu zidzasintha kukhala zabwino, koma chiyembekezo chimenecho sichimabala nthaŵi zonse zotulukapo zimene munthu angafune. Woledzera nthawi zambiri akulimbana kwambiri ndi nkhondo yawoyawo kotero kuti sangathe kupereka mphamvu iliyonse paubwenzi.

Monga momwe Fredrik Backman akunenera, “Amwerekera ndi kumwerekera ndi anamgoneka awo, ndipo mabanja awo ali ndi chiyembekezo.”

Tsopano dzifunseni nokha. Kodi zimenezo zidzathadi bwino? Ngakhale kuti ubale woterewu ungakhale wosungulumwa, pali ena ambiri kunjako omwe akukumana ndi chinthu chomwecho. Lero tili ndi nkhani, zomwe zinachitikira munthu wolimba mtima. Mwinamwake wanenapo zakukhosi kwanu, ndipo mungapezepo kanthu kena kosinkhasinkha mukamaŵerenga nkhaniyi. Chifukwa cha nkhani yake, taphunzira pang'ono, ndipo tili ndi chiyembekezo chobwereketsa ...

Momwe Chibwenzi Chimawononga Chilichonse

Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi chizoloŵezi choledzeretsa kumawoneka motere masiku ambiri: chinthu chomwe chimagwiritsidwa ntchito molakwika nthawi zambiri chimakhala chachitatu paubwenzi wanu ndipo chimatsogolera kuposa china chilichonse chomwe chimachitika. Mankhwala omwe akufunsidwa amawongolera okondedwa anu, ndipo chifukwa chake, ubalewo umakhala wobwerera m'mbuyo.

Pakhoza kukhala nthawi zina zomwe simungathe kuzindikira chibwenzi chanu akamamwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo. N'zotheka kuti akhoza kuyamba kukuzunzani m'maganizo komanso mwakuthupi . Mwina mwangoiwala kuchuluka kwa nthawi zomwe akukuchititsani manyazi kapena kukupwetekani mwakuthupi.

Komabe, kuyesa kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu wokonda mankhwala osokoneza bongo kumabweretsa liwongo lalikulu. Mukufuna kudziyika nokha patsogolo, koma kuwasiya pamene ali pachiwopsezo kumawoneka ngati cholakwika kwa inu. Ubalewu mwachidziwikire si wabwino ndipo simudziwa momwe mungathanirane ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi vuto lililonse.

Winawake wadutsa kale zomwe mukukumana nazo. Iye wakumana ndi zovuta zimenezi koma wathana nazo. Nayi nkhani yake yokhudzana ndi kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wokonda kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, zomwe mwina mungasangalale nazo pamene mukuganiziranso za momwe mukuyimira.

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Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi chidakwa chinali gawo loyipa kwambiri m'moyo wanga…

(Monga adauza Raksha Bharadia)

Ngakhale kuti maanja ambiri amakhala milungu ingapo yoyambirira ya chibwenzi chawo akukopeka ndi wokondedwa wawo ndi chokoleti ndi maluwa, ine ndinakhala ndikuonera chibwenzi changa chikukwera kuposa Burj Khalifa. Izi sizinali momwe ndimaganizira za ' nthawi ya ukwati ' muubwenzi wanga. Koma ndinali pachibwenzi ndi munthu wokonda chizolowezi. Chifukwa chake sindikudziwa ngati ndikanayembekezera zabwino kwambiri.

Anthu ambiri amanena kuti anthu amene amagwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndi anthu awiri osiyana kwambiri, omwe amawasintha kukhala m'modzi - wosapiririka muutsi wopangidwa ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo, komanso wokhumudwa, wopepesa. Chondichitikira changa chinali chakuti awiriwa amagawana zofanana kwambiri kuposa momwe wina angafune kukhulupirira. Inde, ndi zoona.

Mwachitsanzo, munthu 'wapamwamba' yemwe amachita zinthu mongofuna, chifukwa cholephera kudziletsa, ali ngati munthu amene sangadziteteze kudzuka ndi kupanga mzere kapena kugunda kwina. Iwo ali olumikizidwa mosalekeza ndi kwa wina ndi mzake, ndipo kukhulupirira kwina ndikungodzitonthoza. Mankhwala osokoneza bongo amawononga maubwenzi, komanso munthu amene muli naye pachibwenzi. Palibe njira yabwinoko yofotokozera.

Mfundo yakuti chibwenzi changa chimagwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo chinali chinthu chimene ndinachinyalanyaza poyamba. Zinatikhudza kwambiri kuposa momwe ndingafotokozere. Panthawi ina ndinatsimikiza kuti ndinali pachibwenzi chapoizoni.

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Zonse zimatengera mtundu wa munthu

Vuto lalikulu silinali kwenikweni mankhwala m'moyo wake - zinali zambiri za zomwe kumwerekera kwake kumanena za iye. Likafika patali, kaya lalitali kapena lopanda nzeru, iye anali munthu wosafuna kutchuka ndiponso wopanda njira. Sanavutitsidwe ndi zenizeni za moyo watsiku ndi tsiku, ndipo m’lingaliro lina, anakana kukula nkomwe. Kodi kwa nthawi yayitali bwanji adaganiza kuti moyo wake ndi wokhazikika?

Ndinapitiriza kuyesetsa kumuphunzitsa kuti aziyankha koma zonse sizinaphule kanthu. Anali ndi zizindikiro zonse zoti ndili pachibwenzi ndi munthu wogwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo koma ndinkadzidalirabe kuti mwina nditha kumusintha kapena kumuthandiza. Kalelo ndinkadzifunsa ngati mwina ndikulakwitsa, ndipo mwina ndinkamufotokozera zinthu molakwika. Ndinkadzifunsa mafunso ambiri muubwenzi woipawu. Tsopano ndikudziwa kuti sizinali choncho. Zinatenga nthawi kuti ndidziuze kuti, "Chibwenzi changa ndi chogwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndipo ndiye amene ali ndi udindo pa zosankha zake. Si udindo wanga kumukonza."

Nthawi zambiri anthu amandifunsa momwe ndingathanirane ndi chibwenzi, ndipo nthawi zambiri ndimati: simungathe. Muyenera kuthana ndi zolepheretsa zanu ndi zovuta musanasunthike kuyang'ana pa iye kapena ubale wanu. Dzisamalireni nokha, chifukwa kuchita mwanjira ina sikungapindule chilichonse.

Nthaŵi ina ndinafunsa kuti, kodi ndikuchita chiyani ndi moyo wanga?

Kunena zoona, sanachite zambiri kuti anditsutse, zomwe zinandilepheretsa kukula kwanga. Khalidwe lake losakhazikika lolimbikitsidwa ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo linamupangitsa kukhala wosakhazikika komanso wothandizana maganizo. Mfundo zazikulu zothandizirana muubwenzi sizinalipo kwa ife. Titaganizira mozama, zinkaoneka ngati chifukwa chokha chomwe chinapangitsa kuti ubale wosakhazikikawu ukhale ndi tsiku lina chinali chifukwa chodalira ine pa iye. Sanali ndi makhalidwe abwino oti angamuthandize.

Nanga n’cifukwa ciani n’nakhalabe masiku osawerengeka amene anali kusokonezedwa ndi mafoni a munthu wogulitsa mankhwala osokoneza bongo? Kapena kupyola usiku wochuluka wosagona womwe ndidakhala ndikudera nkhawa za chitetezo chake? N’chifukwa chiyani ndinapitiriza chibwenzi ndi zinthu zosokoneza bongo?

Pachifukwa chomwecho anthu akupitiriza kupopera chuma mu bizinesi yomwe ikufa; ndizovuta kusiya nthawi yomwe idayikidwa kale, yomwe kwa ine idaphatikizidwa ndi chiyembekezo chosatheka. Zimakhala zovuta kutseka sitolo pamene nthawi yambiri ikupita chifukwa zoyesayesa zomwe zimayikidwa zimangowonjezereka. Zimakhala zowopsa, zowopsa kukhala nawo, ngakhale ziwonekere kuti ubalewo watha. Kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu wokonda mankhwala osokoneza bongo kumafuna kudzifunsa nokha kuti, "Kodi ndikuchita chiyani ndi moyo wanga?"

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Munali kukoka nkhondo mkati mwanga

Nthawi zonse ndakhala ndikukhulupirira kwambiri kuti pankhani ya anthu, pali nkhondo yosalekeza yomwe imachitika mkati mwathu, pakati pa mwana wosakhazikika maganizo ndi wamkulu woganiza bwino. Chifukwa chake ngakhale kuti kumwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo kwa chibwenzi changa nthawi zambiri kunandikopa kwambiri, khalidwe lake lodzikonda linandikopa kwambiri pa umunthu wanga woganiza bwino.

Analibe kudziletsa ndipo zimenezi zinandikwiyitsa kwambiri. Ndinamva ngati ndikuika ntchito yochuluka kuti ndimuthandize kukhala bwino, pamene iye sakanatha kusunga manja ake.

Ndiyenera kuvomereza kuti kuumirira kwake kosalekeza kuti ndiyese masewera 'wowunikira' izi pafupifupi kunakopa chidwi cha mwana wachibadwa mwa ine. Koma kenako, kumuona akuika patsogolo 'zapamwamba' kuposa ntchito yake yamaphunziro kapena udindo wake kwa banja lake ndi abwenzi zinangondipangitsa kukhala wotsimikiza kuti ndidzakhala wosangalala kupeza 'kuunika' kudzera mu yoga, kusinkhasinkha, kapena Ambuye ndi Mpulumutsi wathu Yesu Khristu.

Udzu wotsiriza, kusweka ndi chizolowezi chomwe mumakonda

Ndimakumbukira bwino usiku wovuta m'moyo wanga, komanso ubale wathu. Izi zinali zitatsala pang'ono kuti mayeso ake omaliza ayambe, ndipo iyi inali mayeso ofunika kwambiri chifukwa anali pa nthawi ya maphunziro. Kulephera izi kukanapangitsa kuti achotsedwe ku yunivesite. Ngakhale kuti ophunzira ambiri amathera maola ambiri kupanga flashcards kapena kudziyesa okha, Ndinadabwa kumupeza iye akutuluka ena Xanax ndi kungoyembekezera zabwino. Palibe chifukwa choyang'ananso zizindikiro kuti muli pachibwenzi ndi chidakwa. Ndizodziwikiratu momwe zingakhalire.

Ndinadabwa kwambiri ndi mmene ankachitira zinthu mosasamala. Sanasamale chilichonse, osati china chilichonse, komanso iye mwini. Ngakhale ndikumvetsa kuti kuledzera ndi matenda aakulu, kusafuna kwake kuyesa ngakhale pang'ono kunandisokoneza kwambiri.

Panthawiyi ndipamene ndinaganiza kuti ulendo wathu watha. Ndinali nditachita chibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe sankandilemekeza ngakhalenso iyeyo. Sindinathenso kupitiriza kudzivutitsa. Zinandikhudzanso kuti ndiyenera kuonetsetsa kuti ubalewu ukupita kuti. Kodi pangakhale tsogolo lililonse ndi chibwenzi chokonda mankhwala osokoneza bongo? Ndikadadziwa kalekale kuti yankho la funsoli ndi “Ayi” wamkulu.

Kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe mumamukonda ndizovuta, koma ziyenera kuchitika. Kuthetsa ubale ndi munthu wokonda mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndi sitepe yomaliza pamene muyenera kusankha pakati pa iye ndi inu. Anthu akamandifunsa ndikundifunsa chifukwa chomwe sindinayambe kuyesa mankhwala osokoneza bongo, yankho lake ndi losavuta komanso lodziwikiratu - ndi chifukwa cha iye. Ndidakumanapo ndi zowawa zokhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe adazolowera ndipo sindingathe kuchitira wina zomwe adandichitira.

Maganizo Final

Kuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu amene ali ndi chizolowezi chogonana ndi ulendo wokhudza mtima, wodzaza ndi mavuto, chikondi ndi kukhumudwa. Ngakhale kuti n'zotheka kupitiriza ubale woterewu, kumafuna kulimba mtima, kudzidziwa bwino, komanso thandizo kuchokera kwa akatswiri. Kumbukirani, chikondi chokha sichingathetse chizolowezicho. Ubwino wanu nawonso ndi wofunika. Alangizi athu angakupatseni zida ndi malangizo otetezera mtendere wanu pamene mukuthandizira mnzanuyo.

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