Zizindikiro 15 Zapamwamba Zachibwenzi Chodzikonda

Mnzanga, Beth, atakumana ndi Mark, ndinamuwona akukwera pamwamba pomwe amangobwera ndi chikondi chatsopano. Komabe, pamene mvula idasewera spoilsport ku zomwe zimatanthawuza kukhala tsiku lachikondi ku konsati, idachotsanso chisangalalo chake. Mapazi a Beth anamizidwa ndi kupempha kuti apume, koma Mark, yemwe anataya nyimbozo, sanamvetsere vuto lake. Atakumbatira mu bulangeti lonyowa, adadzimva ngati wopambana kuposa chibwenzi chake. Apa m’pamene anazindikira kuti Mark ndi chibwenzi chodzikonda. Anamvetsetsa kuti zomwe zimatchedwa "ulendo" zinali chiwonetsero chake chokha, ndipo chitonthozo chake chinali chongobweranso munkhani yake yodzikonda.

Ngakhale kuti si chinsinsi kuti anthu ndi odzikonda kumlingo wakutiwakuti, zimakhala zokhudza pamene mnzanuyo mosasinthasintha prioritizes okha popanda kuganizira maganizo anu. Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wodzikonda kwambiri kungakhale kovuta, ndipo zizindikiro zofiira za khalidweli nthawi zambiri zimawonekera mwamsanga muubwenzi. Choncho, ndikofunika kuzindikira zizindikiro za mnzanu wodzikonda. Sitingakane kuti bwenzi lililonse lingakhale lodzikonda. Komabe, m’nkhaniyi, tikambirana za makhalidwe a chibwenzi chodzikonda.

Kuzindikira mbendera zofiira za mnzanu wodzikonda koyambirira ndikofunikira kuti mudziteteze. Tiyeni tifufuze makhalidwe a munthu wodzikonda kuti muthe kuzindikira zizindikiro ndi kudziwa momwe mungachitire ndi mwamuna wodzikonda muubwenzi.

Zizindikiro 15 Zachibwenzi Chodzikonda

Kuchita ndi chibwenzi chodzikonda kungakhale kokhumudwitsa kwambiri, kukusiyani mukukayikira ngati ubale wanu ukuyenda bwino . Pamene mukupitirizabe kuyika ndalama mu mgwirizano, zikuwoneka kuti chibwenzi chanu sichikusamala zosowa zanu. Anyamata odzikonda samangopewa kuthandiza pa ubalewu komanso amasonyeza khalidwe losasamala komanso kusayamikira khama lomwe mumachita tsiku ndi tsiku kuti ukhale wabwino.

Kusayamikira kosatha ndi chimodzi mwa makhalidwe odziŵika bwino a munthu wodzikonda, amene nthaŵi zambiri amasonyezera nkhanza, kusaganizira za mmene mukumvera, kuika maganizo ake onse pa zimene akufuna kuchita, ndipo ngakhale kuumira. Kuti muwone ngati mukufuna kukhalabe muubwenzi wodzikonda wotero kapena kuganizira kuchoka kwa munthu wodzikonda, samalani ndi zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za chibwenzi chosayamika. 

1. Adzalankhula nthawi zonse ndikudziyika yekha patsogolo

Beth anati: “Sindinkamasuka kuuza Mark za mavuto anga kapena mavuto anga chifukwa nthawi zonse tikamakambirana tinkangoona mmene iyeyo ankachitira zinthu ngati mmene iyeyo ankachitira kapenanso kuipa kwambiri.

Ngati anyamata akuchita zinthu zodzikonda muubwenzi , nthawi zambiri zimatanthauza kuti:

• Wodzikuza
• Musamalemekeze ena
• Nthawi zonse muzilankhula za iwo eni ndi zomwe amakonda
• Onetsani kusasamala pa moyo wa abwenzi kapena wina aliyense
• Kunyalanyaza malingaliro anu ndi zosowa zanu

Ziribe kanthu momwe zinthu ziliri, zokambirana zanu zimakhala za mbali imodzi kapena kuzungulira kwa iye nthawi zonse chifukwa chibwenzi chanu chimapanga chilichonse chokhudza iye. Chomwe amasamala ndi momwe amamvera komanso mawonekedwe ake ngakhale akudziwa kuti mukukumana ndi zovuta. Akhoza kupangitsa kuti ziwoneke ngati ali ndi chidwi kapena amakuda nkhawa ndi inu, koma zonse ndi mawonekedwe akunja. Zotsatira zake, simungasinthe malingaliro akuti "chibwenzi changa ndi chodzikonda".

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2. Amalamulira moyo wanu kwambiri moti mumaona kuti mulibenso

Emily Krysinski anali pachibwenzi ndi Brian Hendricks kwa chaka chimodzi kapena kuposerapo. Anayamba kuzindikira momwe adatalikirana naye ndipo sanaganizire kwambiri maganizo ake popanga zisankho. Analembera kalata kwa alangizi a Bonobology kuti amuthandize, nati, "N'chifukwa chiyani amuna ndi odzikonda kwambiri? Ndatopa nazo. Chibwenzi changa chomaliza chinali chimodzimodzi. Kuchokera kumbali iti ya bedi yomwe timagona, Gatorade timabweretsa m'nyumba mwathu mpaka ngati tikufuna TV yatsopano kapena ayi - Brian nthawi zonse amakhala ndi mawu omaliza."

Ngati mukuwona kuti izi ndi zomveka ndipo mukuyang'ana zizindikiro zodzikonda, dzifunseni mafunso awa: 

• Kodi ndi liti pamene mudapita kumalo odyera omwe mwasankha?
• Kodi ndi liti pamene munagula chinthu chanu, chomwe mumakonda? 
• Kodi ndi liti pamene munapita kukacheza ndi anzanu kapena kucheza ndi achibale anu? 
• Kodi chibwenzi chanu chimadziwa zomwe mumakonda kapena zakudya zomwe mumakonda? 

Ngati simukukumbukira bwinobwino, mwina n’chifukwa chakuti muli paubwenzi wodzikonda kumene mnzanuyo amakuuzani zoyenera kuchita ndipo mumagonja chifukwa simukuona kuti n’koyenera kumenyana naye pa zinthu ‘zochepa’ ngati zimenezi. Nthawi zonse amakhala ndi mawu omaliza, kaya ndi ntchito za tsiku ndi tsiku kapena momwe ubale umayendera. Pamapeto pake, nthawi yanu, zosankha zanu, ndi zosankha zanu zimayamba kuyang'ana zomwe amakonda komanso zomwe amakonda. Mumazindikira kuti moyo wanu wasintha kwambiri ndipo simukumvanso ngati wanu.

3. Amadzitchinjiriza modabwitsa

Mukakambirana ndi chibwenzi chanu za vuto, akhoza kudziikira kumbuyo. Anthu odzikonda akhoza kukhala ouma khosi ndipo nthawi zambiri amadziteteza mwamphamvu, ngakhale zikutanthawuza kuika mlandu wonse wa zinthu zazikulu ndi zazing'ono pa inu. Malingaliro aliwonse opangira ubale wabwino amakumana ndi kukana kofananako kapena kunyalanyazidwa palimodzi. Khalidwe lotereli limatha kusokoneza kukhulupirirana komanso kupangitsa kuti anthu awiri asamagwirizane.

Kwa mnzanga, Beth, kudziteteza kumeneku kunakhala vuto lalikulu pa ubale wake ndi Mark. Ankakonda Mark, koma kuletsana kwa mphindi yomaliza, nthawi zonse kwa anzake, kunali kokhumudwitsa. "Izi zimachitika nthawi zonse, Mark," adatero, mawu ake akupweteka chifukwa cha kukhumudwa. "Ndimakupatsirani nthawi, koma sindikuwoneka ngati chinthu chofunikira kwambiri kwa inu." Mark anayankha, "Ukukhala chibwenzi chouma , Beth. Ndikufuna malo anga."

Mawu ake anapweteka. Kodi ndiye anali vuto, wosowayo? Meso a Beth anali tcheru, kusanganikirana kwa zowawa ndi mkwiyo. Panthawiyo, anaona zoona zake: Kudzikonda kwa Mark, osati “kukakamira” kwake kunali vuto lenileni. Inali nthawi yoti atengenso mpweya wake, ulemu, komanso mwina, ubale womwe umamulemekezadi.

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4. Iyenso ali wodzikonda pakama

Taganizirani izi: Amakutengerani kukacheza ndi munthu wina ndipo amapita nanu kukakonza chikondi . Pamapeto pa chibwenzicho, akufuna kugonana nanu. Mumamuuza kuti mukufuna kungokumbatirana kapena simukufuna, koma amapitirizabe kukakamiza. Amayamba kukwiya mukayesa kumutsimikizira kuti simukufuna. Koma pamapeto pake, mumavomereza 'pempho' lake. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za chibwenzi chodzikonda. Mnzanu wodzikonda yekha angachite izi:

• Ganizirani pa zosangalatsa zake komanso kukhutira pakama
• Samalani zomwe mukufuna
• Ganizirani zofuna zake zakugonana
• Osasamala za kugonana kwa wokondedwa wake

Anyamata ena amaona kugonana ngati njira yofulumira yodzisangalatsa. Izi zitha kupanga ubale wosasangalatsa wogonana, ndikukusiyani kukhala osakhutira komanso kutali. Ngati achita zomwe akufuna pabedi, dziwani kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za munthu wodzikonda. 

5. Sadziwa kunyengerera

Tracy Hall, namwino, anali kutuluka ndi Norman Smith, mwamuna wachikulire kwambiri amene anakumana naye kuchipatala. Chifukwa cha kusiyana kwa zaka muukwati , awiriwa anali ndi mikangano yambiri. Norman ankaona zinthu mwanjira yakeyake ndipo ankayembekezera kuti Tracy azingotsatira chilichonse chomwe akufuna nthawi zonse. Tracy anati, “Chibwenzi changa ndi chouma mtima komanso chodzikonda ndipo zayamba kundikwiyitsa. Ndi wolamulira, wolowerera, ndipo sandilola kuchita zomwe ndikufuna!”

Eya, ndichifukwa chakuti kulolera kumampangitsa kudzimva ngati akulephera kudziletsa ndipo sangakhoze kulekerera zimenezo. Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodzikonda ndi chakuti nthawi zonse amafuna kukhala wosankha paubwenzi ndipo vuto la kulolera lidzagwera pa inu. Sangapepese ngakhale atalakwa. Sadzakumana nanu pakatikati. Ngati munganene zapakati, akhoza kukwiya chifukwa akufuna kuti zonse zichitike mogwirizana ndi zomwe akufuna. Mwamva mawu akuti “njira yanga kapena msewu waukulu”? Inde, ndendende zimenezo.

6. Ndi wodzisunga ndi wansanje;

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za chibwenzi chodzikonda ndi chakuti amakhala wosatetezeka komanso wansanje mosavuta komanso nthawi zambiri. Anthu amadzimva kukhala osatetezeka ngati:

• Iwo amaona chinachake kapena winawake ngati chiwopsezo
• Iwo ali ndi nkhawa kuti wina angatenge malo awo
• Amaopa kulephera kulamulira moyo wanu kapena pocheza
• Iwo sali pakati pa chidwi 
• Sali anthu ofunika kwambiri pa moyo wanu 

Mantha amenewa akhoza kukhala akuvutitsa mnzanuyo ndikumupangitsa kuchita zinthu mopanda nzeru, ndichifukwa chake mumaganiza kuti chibwenzi chanu chimamupangira chilichonse. Komanso, ngati sakudziwa bwino zomwe mungasankhe kapena zomwe mumachita, ndiye kuti mwina akuopa kuti sizingamupindulitse. Izi zingamupangitse kukhala wosatetezeka kwambiri ndikumupangitsa kukhala munthu wolamulira . Ngati mungamvetse izi, dziwani kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zake kuti ndi wodzikonda.

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7. Iye samasamala za zosowa zanu ndi malingaliro anu ndipo sakuchitirani chilichonse chapadera

Chifukwa chake, mukukhala bwenzi labwino, kumudabwitsa ndi mphatso, kukonzekera madeti abwino, ndikuyesera chilichonse chomwe angafune pabedi. Simusamala kupita mtunda wowonjezera kuti mumusangalatse. Koma kodi amakuchitirani chimodzimodzi kapena amakudabwitsani, kunena zabwino kwa inu, kapena kukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu wofunika? Ayi? Chabwino, ndiye, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za munthu wodzikonda. Kaya ndi zodabwitsa zazing'ono kapena kuyesetsa kwatanthauzo, mnzanu wodzikonda amalephera kubwezera chisamaliro ndi khama lomwe mumagulitsa muubwenzi. Sadzatero:

• Pita pa njira yake kuti akusangalatse iwe
• Konzani chilichonse manja achikondi zanu
• Dzipezereni maluwa kapena mafuta onunkhira omwe mumawafuna
• Nenani zabwino za inu kapena yamikirani khama lanu
• Vomerezani kapena kuyamika zinthu zomwe mumamuchitira 
• Gwiritsani ntchito khobiri kuti mukudabwitseni ndi mphatso
• Ndikutulutseni pa tsiku

Kunyalanyaza kwake kotheratu zosoŵa zanu kumawonekera pamene akukhala wosafikirika m’nthaŵi za nsautso. Simungamudalire, ndipo chifukwa chake, mutha kuganiza kuti, "Mnyamata wanga ndi woipa komanso wodzikonda". Pokambitsirana, iye amalamulira zokambirana, kusonyeza chidwi chochepa kapena kudera nkhaŵa kwenikweni za moyo wanu. Kuyesa kwanu kugawana sikunyalanyazidwa kapena kukumana ndi mphwayi. Izi ndi zodziwika bwino za munthu wodzikonda.

8. Amakunyozetsa kapena kukunyozera

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu za munthu wodzikonda. Paubwenzi, munthu wodzikonda amatha kuwoneka wokondwa mukapambana komanso kuyamika zomwe mwachita koma zinthu zimakhala zovuta ngati muchita bwino kuposa iye. Vuto limakhala pamene kupambana kwanu kumakhala kofunika kwambiri kuposa kwake. Ngati mukuyang'ana zizindikiro za chibwenzi chodzikonda, zindikirani ngati mwamuna wanu:

• Amanyoza kapena kutsutsa malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu
• Zowonetsa a kusowa ulemu
• Amakusokoneza mukuyankhula
• Amayankhula pa inu
• Salemekeza kapena kumvera zomwe mukunena

Kulankhulana mopanda ulemu kumeneku kukhoza kuwononga kukhulupirirana ndi ubwenzi wapamtima paubwenziwo, kukusiyani kukhala wotopa komanso wothedwa nzeru.

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9. Nthawi zonse ndi 'Ine' pa 'Ife'

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za chibwenzi chodzikonda. Mu ubale wabwino , mnzanu ayenera kusamala zomwe zimakusangalatsani monga momwe amasamalanso za chisangalalo chake. Ngati chibwenzi chanu sichikuyamikira malingaliro ndi zisankho zanu, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zake kuti ndi wodzikonda.

Kodi kukhala pachibwenzi ndi chiyani ngati nonse simuli limodzi? Kukhala pachibwenzi kumatanthauza kuchitira zinthu limodzi. Mnyamata wosamala amawona ubalewo ngati mgwirizano ndipo amagwiritsa ntchito chilankhulo cha "ife" kusonyeza kuti nonse ndinu ofunika. Ngati mnzanu alephera kutero, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro tingachipeze powerenga wa munthu wodzikonda.

Kayla Goodman, katswiri wa masewera olimbitsa thupi, analembera kalata Bonobology, kupempha thandizo kuti: “N’chifukwa chiyani amuna amakhala odzikonda kwambiri moti amalephera kuona kuti munthu wina weniweni alinso paubwenzi umenewu?

10. Amachita zomwe akufuna ndipo salumikizidwa ku zosowa zanu

Ichi ndi chizindikiro chodziwika bwino cha chibwenzi chosayamika. Nthawi zambiri amaswa mapulani kapena sakwaniritsa malonjezo. M'malo mokhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi inu, amaika zofuna zake patsogolo. Ngakhale kuti malo ena muubwenzi wotsatira zofuna za munthu payekha ndi abwino, ngati chibwenzi chanu nthawi zonse chimakhala chotanganidwa kwambiri kuchita zinthu zake kuti chisakhale ndi nthawi yabwino kwa inu, zimasonyeza kuti mwakodwa muubwenzi wodzikonda.

11. Savomereza zolakwa zake kapena kuyankha mlandu pa zochita zake

Mungadzipeze mukuganiza kuti, “Mnyamata wanga ndi wodzikonda”, ngati akukana kutenga udindo muubwenziwo kapena kubwezera zomwe zakupwetekani kapena kukukhumudwitsani. Ndipo simukulakwitsa. Ndicho chimene chibwenzi chosaganizira ena chimachita.

• Sakhulupirira kuti nthawi zonse amakhala wolakwa
• Sapepesa
• Amayembekeza kuti mukonze zinthu pambuyo pa ndewu ndi mkangano uliwonse

Mukalola kuti kulephera kuyankha kuchepe, m'pamenenso khalidwe lakelo likhoza kulimbikitsidwa. Ndicho chifukwa chake, ngati muwona zizindikiro zodzikonda za mnzanu, m'pofunika kuwaitana ndi kuwalankhula.

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12. Sakhala ndi inu koma amayembekeza kuti mumuthandize

Ma ndandanda ndi ofunikira kwa anthu ambiri chifukwa amapereka lingaliro la kapangidwe kake. Ngati inu kapena chibwenzi chanu mwakhazikitsa ndandanda, n’kwachibadwa kufuna kumamatira. Komabe, zochitika zadzidzidzi zikhoza kuchitika. Ngati chibwenzi chanu chikukana kusintha ndondomeko yake ngati mukumufuna, zikhoza kukhala chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za mwamuna wodzikonda. Adzapereka zifukwa zodzikhululukira pamene mukumufuna koma nthawi zonse amayembekezera kuti mudzakhala naye pa nthawi yamavuto.

Ginger Fraiser, mphunzitsi wa kusekondale, wakhala m’banja ndi Walter Fraiser kwa zaka 16. Iye anati: “Sindingathe kuyankha chifukwa chimene amuna ali odzikonda chonchi.” Chomwe ndikudziwa n’chakuti iwo ndi odzikonda. Nthawi iliyonse imene ndakhala ndi tsiku lalitali kuntchito kapena pamene ndikukumana ndi mavuto, Walter sasamala n’komwe kumvetsera, amangotsegula chitini cha mowa n’kumaonera mpira ndikamalankhula naye. Kumeneku n’kusalemekezana ndipo sindikudziwa kuti nditha kupirira mpaka liti.”

Ngati muli paubwenzi wodzikonda chonchi, mudzavutika kupeza chithandizo chamaganizo kuchokera kwa mnzanu. Ngati muyesa kumufotokozera zakukhosi kwanu, iye adzachita izi:

• Musanyalanyaze inu
• Pitirizani kuchita zofuna zake
• Yesani kuthetsa kukambirana mwamsanga
• Pezani njira zothetsera vutoli

13. Amayembekeza kuti musinthe koma sadzadzichitira yekha ntchito

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za mnzanu wodzikonda ndichakuti amaganizira kwambiri zosowa zake, zofuna zake, ndi zokhumba zake, kotero kuti saganiza nkomwe kuti nayenso ayenera kuyesetsa muubwenziwo . Chifukwa cha zimenezi, mungazindikire kuti ngakhale nthawi zambiri amayembekezera kuti musinthe mbali zina za umunthu wanu ndi moyo wanu kuti zigwirizane ndi zosowa zake, nthawi zambiri sabwezera zabwinozo.

Mumadzipeza mukuganiza kuti, "Mnyamata wanga ndi wodzikonda!" chifukwa amayembekeza kuti muzichita zinthu monyengerera. Ngakhale kuli bwino kusintha paubwenzi, kuyenera kukhala njira ziwiri. Ngati iye akana kusintha chifukwa cha inu, kungakhale chizindikiro cha kudzikonda.

14. Amapanga/amaletsa mapulani osakufunsani ndipo akuyembekezera kuti muwatsatire

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zofiira za mnzanu wodzikonda ndikuti nthawi zambiri amapanga, kuletsa, ndikusintha mapulani okhudza nonse popanda kukambirana nanu. Chibwenzi chopanda kulingalira sichidzasonyeza kulemekeza zomwe mukuyembekezera kapena zolephera malinga ngati zosowa zake zikukwaniritsidwa. Ngati mnzanu nthawi zonse amachita zinthu zomwe zimamuyendera iye yekha, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro cha kudzikonda. Ngati mungagwirizane ndi izi, ndiye kuti "Mnyamata wanga ndi wodzikonda" mantha anu alibe maziko.

15. Iye amakuchitirani zabwino, akukuthandizani, ndipo amakuchitirani zinthu pokhapokha atapindula nazo

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za mnzanu wodzikonda ndikuti nthawi zonse amakhala ndi ndondomeko yobisika kumbuyo kwa zochita zake. Mwachitsanzo, pamene iye:

• Amawonekera kuti adzakutengeni kuchokera kuntchito
• Amakupatsirani maluwa omwe mumakonda kapena mphatso yodabwitsa 
• Mapulani a tsiku lachikondi zanu
• Zimakusangalatsani pabedi
• Amakuchotsani m'mavuto kapena kukuthandizani panthawi yamavuto

…zingakhale osati chifukwa cha kukoma mtima koma chifukwa akufuna chinachake kuchokera kwa inu. Iye amakukomerani kokha pamene akuyembekezera kubweza chinachake. Kwa iye, kukoma mtima kapena chikondi ndizochita. Ndipo ndicho mbendera yofiira kwambiri.

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Momwe Mungalimbanire Ndi Chibwenzi Chodzikonda

Kukhala paubwenzi ndi chibwenzi chodzikonda kungakhale kovutitsa maganizo. Komabe, musanaganize zothetsa chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wodzikonda, yesani kukambirana nkhaniyi molunjika ndikugwiritsa ntchito njira zolimbikitsira kulumikizana bwino. Nawa malangizo othandiza momwe mungathanirane ndi mwamuna wodzikonda paubwenzi:

• Kulumikizana ndikofunikira: Kuchita nawo kukambirana momasuka za malingaliro anu, zosowa, ziyembekezo, ndi nkhawa zanu. Thandizani chibwenzi chanu kumvetsetsa momwe zochita zake zimakhudzira chibwenzicho. Nthawi yomweyo, pezani mayankho ku funso lanu "chifukwa chiyani chibwenzi changa ndi chodzikonda". Mvetserani kwa iye ndipo yesani kumvetsa kumene izo zikuchokera
• Khazikitsani malire omveka bwino: Khazikitsani malire omveka bwino kuti mufotokoze zoyembekeza ndikuwonetsetsa mgwirizano wolemekezeka. Lankhulani zomwe zili zovomerezeka ndi zosayenera. Musalungamitse zochita zake zodzikonda kapena kumulola kuti azikunyozetsani, kukuonani mopepuka, ndi kukuimbani mlandu chifukwa cha zolakwa zake.
• Limbikitsani kudzimvera chisoni ndi kudziganizira nokha: Limbikitsani chifundo pogawana zomwe mwakumana nazo ndikulimbikitsa chibwenzi chanu kuti alowe mu nsapato zanu kuti amvetsetse momwe mumaonera. Limbikitsani kudzilingalira nokha kwa bwenzi lanu kuti amvetsetse zotsatira za zochita zake pachibwenzi 
• Pangani dongosolo lothandizira: Lankhulani ndi anzanu ndi achibale anu kuti akulimbikitseni. Gawani zomwe mwakumana nazo ndikupempha malangizo awo. Ngati mavuto akupitilira, upangiri kapena chithandizo cha maanja chingathandize kuthana ndi mavuto ozama. Gulu la Bonobology la akatswiri odziwa zambiri limangodina kamodzi ngati mukufuna thandizo
• Ikani patsogolo kudzisamalira: Ganizirani kudzisamalira kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino m'maganizo ndi m'maganizo. Kudzidalira koyenera ndikofunikira mukamayenda ndi bwenzi lodzikonda. Thandizani zokonda za munthu payekha ndi zokonda kuti mulimbikitse kukula kwanu ndikuchepetsa kudalira ubale kuti mukwaniritse
• Dziwani nthawi yonyamuka: Ngati mulibe mayankho ku funso lanu lakuti “chifukwa chiyani bwenzi langa ali wodzikonda” ndipo kuyesa kuthana ndi khalidwe lake lalephera, ndiye tikukulimbikitsani kuchokapo. Ngati ubale ukhala wowononga moyo wanu, lingalirani zothetsa banja ndi mwamuna wodzikonda kuti mukhale ndi chimwemwe, mtendere, ndi kukula.

Kusintha ubale ndi chibwenzi chodzikonda kumafuna kuleza mtima, kulankhulana momasuka, ndi kudzipereka kusintha kwabwino. Pogwiritsira ntchito njirazi, mutha kuyendetsa zovuta zomwe mukuziganizira nokha ndikugwira ntchito kuti mupange mgwirizano womwe ukukwaniritsa mbali zonse ziwiri. Kumbukirani, maubwenzi ndi ulendo wopitilira kukula ndi kumvetsetsa. Ngakhale kuti mavuto angabuke, kuyesetsa kwanu kulimbikitsa chifundo ndi kulimbikitsa makhalidwe abwino kungapangitse mgwirizano wamphamvu, woganizira kwambiri. 

Ubale umafuna ulemu , khama, ndi kudzipereka kofanana kuti mukhalepo kwa wina ndi mnzake. Ndi nkhani yaikulu. Posankha mnzanu wa moyo wanu, ndikofunikira kupeza munthu wokonzeka kupirira mavuto ndi zovuta zomwe muli nazo. Pezani munthu amene adzakuchirikizani, kukutetezani, ndikupeza malo pakati pa kusamvana. Yang'anani mnzanu amene amaika nthawi ndi khama paulendo wanu womwe mumagwirizana ndikupanga ubale wanu kukhala wokhutiritsa.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.