Kudzimva Ngati Njira Mu Ubwenzi? Zifukwa 6 Ndi Zinthu 5 Zoyenera Kuchita

Kodi mukumva ngati mwayi muubwenzi? Izi zimandikumbutsa za mndandanda wa Madzulo, momwe Bella amakhala womasuka ndi Jacob, pokhapokha ngati analibe Edward m'manja mwake. Jacob anapitiriza kumukonda, ngakhale kuti iye ankakonda kwambiri Edward. Izi zikuwoneka zachikondi m'mafilimu koma chonde musadikire munthu ngati sakupatsani chikondi chomwe mukuyenera.

Ngati nthawi zambiri mumadzifunsa funso lakuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani ndimadziona ngati ndine wosankha?”, musadandaule, takuthandizani. Ndi chidziwitso chochokera kwa mphunzitsi wa thanzi la maganizo ndi kusamala Pooja Priyamvada (wovomerezedwa mu Psychological and Mental Health First Aid kuchokera ku Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health ndi University of Sydney), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa zibwenzi zakunja kwa ukwati, kusudzulana, kupatukana, chisoni ndi kutayika, tikuthandizani kudziwa chifukwa chake wina angakuchitireni ngati wosankha muubwenzi komanso momwe mungathanirane ndi vutoli.

Kodi Kukhala Chosankha Mu Ubale Zimatanthauza Chiyani?

Pooja akuti, "Kumva ngati njira ina muubwenzi si chinthu chabwino. Izi zitha kuchitika ngati mnzanuyo sanadzipereke kwathunthu muubwenziwo ndipo akukuonani ngati imodzi mwa njira zingapo osati ngati imodzi yokha."

Ndiye, ndi zizindikiro ziti zomwe simuli patsogolo kwa iye? Pooja akuyankha kuti, “Pakhoza kukhala zizindikiro zingapo zosonyeza kuti simuli chinthu chofunika kwambiri kwa mnzanuyo - amakhala otanganidwa nthawi zonse, amanyalanyaza mafoni ndi mauthenga anu, samapanga nthawi yocheza nanu, amaika patsogolo mabwenzi awo kapena magulu ochezera a pa Intaneti kuposa inu."

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kunyalanyaza Maganizo Mu Ubwenzi - Tanthauzo, Zizindikiro ndi Masitepe Othana ndi Mavuto

Choncho dzifunseni mafunso ofunika kwambiri. Kodi mumaona ngati mnzanuyo sakhala nanu nthawi yokwanira? Kodi muli ndi malingaliro oyipa awa osayamikiridwa mu ubale wanu? Kodi mukudutsa mkombero wapoizoni woyesa mosalekeza kudziwonetsa nokha kwa mnzanu ndikuwawonetsa kuti ndinu odabwitsa? 

Kodi nthawi zonse mumayesetsa kudzipangira danga m'moyo wa mnzanu? Kodi nthawi zonse mumamva ngati simuli bwino kwa wokondedwa wanu? Kodi mumadziona ngati ndinu wosafunika kwa munthu amene ndi wofunika kwambiri kwa inu? Ngati mayankho a mafunso omwe ali pamwambawa ali otsimikiza, izi ndizizindikiro kuti ndinu mwayi kwa iye. Ndizifukwa ziti zomwe zingapangitse kuti mumve ngati mukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi? Tiyeni tifufuze. 

Zifukwa 7 Zomwe Mumamva Ngati Njira Mu Ubale

Ngati simukumva ngati munthu wofunika kwambiri paubwenzi, khalidwe la Tom kuchokera mu 500 Days of Summer lingamveke ngati lofanana ndi lanu. Izi zimandikumbutsa za chochitika china, pamene Summer akunena kuti, “Ndimakukonda, Tom. Sindikufuna ubale…” chomwe Tom anayankha kuti, “Chabwino, si iwe wekha amene umakhala ndi mawu pankhaniyi! Inenso ndimafuna! Ndipo ine ndikuti ndife banja, chabwino!”

Tom ankafuna kusasinthasintha kuchokera ku Chilimwe koma nthawi zonse ankasokonezeka komanso kusinthasintha kotero kuti zinamukhumudwitsa Tom. Kudzimva ngati kusankha muubwenzi ndikowononga, pambuyo pake. Nazi zifukwa zina zomwe zimakupangitsani kumva chonchi.

1. Okondedwa anu amakutengerani mosasamala

Kusadziona ngati wofunika kwambiri muubwenzi kungamveke ngati kunyalanyazidwa . Mwachitsanzo, mnzanga Paul amandiuza kuti, “Chibwenzi changa chimakhala ndi ine nthawi yokhayo imene akufuna. Amadziwa kuti sindipita kulikonse ndipo ndimamva ngati akundipezera mwayi. Sindimaona kuti ndine wofunika muubwenzi wanga. Zimandikhumudwitsa. Nthawi iliyonse ndikafuna kuti andipeze, amapereka zifukwa koma amayembekezera kuti ndipezeke nthawi iliyonse. N’chifukwa chiyani ndimaona ngati ndi mwayi?”

Yankho la funso la Paulo lija. Kukhala wopezeka nthawi zonse kungakhale chimodzi mwazifukwa zomwe zimachititsa kuti munthu asamadzione ngati wofunika kwambiri paubwenzi. Kodi ndinu munthu amene mungaletse kalasi yanu yochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi kapena yoga kuti mupite kukacheza ndi mnzanu? Kapena mumatha kulankhula kwa maola ambiri pafoni ngakhale mutakhala ndi ntchito yambiri yodikirira kuti mumalize? Ngati mumadziyika kukhala wachiwiri, ena adzakuchitiraninso chimodzimodzi. Ngati mumadziona ngati mopepuka, enanso angakutengereni mopepuka. 

2. Wokondedwa wanu amakutengani ngati gudumu lachitatu 

Mukawona kuti ubale wanu ndi wa mbali imodzi , ungakhudze thanzi lanu la maganizo komanso kudziona kuti ndinu ofunika. Makasitomala amabwera ku Pooja ali ndi mavuto monga, "Mnzanu amandiyerekeza ndi wakale wawo. Ndikapita nawo limodzi ndi anzawo apamtima, ndimamva ngati ndili ndi vuto lachitatu. Kodi ichi ndi chinthu champhamvu chomwe mnzanga akufuna kuchita?"

Pooja akugogomezera kuti, “Kuyerekezeredwa ndi mkazi wakale wa mnzawo sikuli bwino. Ngati ndinu wofunika kwambiri kwa bwenzi lanu, sangayese kukukhumudwitsani potchula wakale wawo ndipo adzachita zonse zomwe angathe kuti mukhale omasuka ndi anzanu.

3. Wokondedwa wanu sakudziwa za inu

Ndi zizindikiro ziti kuti ndinu osankhidwa kwa iye? Amakupatsirani zinyenyeswazi za chikondi ndipo amatsutsana kwambiri ndi khalidwe lake. Masiku ena, mumamva ngati pakati pa chilengedwe chake. Masiku ena, mumaona kuti simukunyalanyazidwa komanso simukunyalanyaza. A, ndi zizindikiro zotani kuti ndinu osankhidwa kwa iye? Pawekha, umaona ngati akukuderani nkhawa. Koma akakhala pagulu, amachita zinthu motalikirana ndi anthu.

Kodi ndi zifukwa ziti zomwe zingakupangitseni kumva ngati mwayi muubwenzi? Mnzanu wasokonezeka ndi momwe akumvera ndipo sakudziwa za inu. Mwina, amaopa kudzipereka. Zingakhalenso chifukwa cha kuvulala kwawo muubwenzi wakale komanso mantha oti angavulazidwenso. Kukupangitsani kumva ngati mwayi kumawathandiza kukhala maso, m'malo mokhala osatetezeka komanso okondana nanu. Zingakhale chifukwa cha kalembedwe kawo kodzidalira. Izi zitha kukhala zizindikiro kuti ndinu wokonda nthawi zonse.

4. Amakondanso munthu wina

Ngati simukumva ngati wofunika kwambiri muubwenzi wautali, zitha kukhala chifukwa chakuti wokondedwa wanu wayamba kukonda munthu wina. Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti 31% yokha ya maubwenzi amapulumuka patali. Kubera kunanenedwa mu 22% ya maubwenzi akutali, ndipo 5.1% ya LDR anali maubwenzi omasuka. 

Kodi mukumva ngati mwayi muubwenzi? Mungakhale mukukumana ndi chikondi chachikale. Kusamva ngati wofunika kwambiri muubwenzi wautali nthawi zina kumatanthauza kuti mnzanuyo akufunafuna wina kapena kuonana ndi wina. Ngati amatchula dzina la munthu mobwerezabwereza, kungakhale chizindikiro chakuti akungoganizira zomwe angasankhe. Kapena ngati akuthera nthawi yambiri ndi munthu winawake, kungakhale chizindikiro chakuti simuli wofunika kwambiri kwa iye. Kungakhalenso kuti mnzanuyo akuchita chibwenzi pa intaneti.

5. Zifukwa zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala ngati mwayi paubwenzi? Mnzako ndi wokonda ntchito

Mukukumbukira mndandanda wa Sherlock Holmes , womwe uli ndi Benedict Cumberbatch? Ponena za udindo wake wa Sherlock wokonda kugwira ntchito mopitirira muyeso (yemwe amapewa chikondi chifukwa chongosokoneza kafukufuku wake), Benedict adati mu kuyankhulana, "Sherlock ndi wopanda chilakolako cha kugonana pacholinga china chake. Osati chifukwa choti alibe chilakolako cha kugonana koma chifukwa chakuti chimaletsedwa kuti achite ntchito yake."

Mwina ndi nkhani ya chikondi yokhudza inu, mnzanu, ndi ntchito yawo. Kukhala ndi chilakolako chachikulu komanso kukonda ntchito ndi nkhani ina, koma kukhala paubwenzi ndi ntchito yanu ndi nkhani yosiyana kwambiri. Ngati mumakonda munthu amene amafanana ndi iye, ikhoza kukhala chifukwa chimodzi chodzimva ngati mwayi muubwenzi. Ndipotu, ikhoza kukhala chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zobisika zomwe palibe amene amalankhula.

6. Wokondedwa wanu amapereka kufunikira kochuluka ku chilakolako

Pooja akuti, "Kwa anthu ena, bwenzi lawo likhoza kukhala chisankho chogonana. Ngati mukumva kuti muli pachibwenzi, muyenera kukambirana ndi mnzanuyo. 

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Chifukwa chake, chifukwa china chodzimva ngati chosankha muubwenzi chingakhale chakuti inu ndi mnzanuyo muli ndi ziyembekezo zosiyana kuchokera pachibwenzi. Kugonana kwabwino ndi bonasi koma kumangokhalira kung'ung'udza koma osalumikizana mwakuya kapena m'malingaliro kungasokoneze ubale wanu. Ngakhale Taylor Swift adalankhulapo za kuvala magalasi olakalaka. Iye anati, "Izi ndi zomwe ndaphunzira za ophwanya mgwirizano: Ngati muli ndi chemistry yokwanira ndi munthu, mumanyalanyaza chilichonse chomwe mwanena kuti chidzathetsa mgwirizano."

Zinthu 5 Zoyenera Kuchita Mumamva Ngati Njira Mu Ubwenzi

Wolemba nkhani wa ku America, Eric Zorn, analemba kuti: “N’zosamveka kunena za zinthu zofunika kwambiri pa moyo wathu. Ngati zomwe okondedwa wanu amaika patsogolo zadziwika pakapita nthawi ndipo ngati sizikukhudzani, izi ndi zina mwa njira zomwe mungatenge:

1. Fotokozani zosowa zanu mwachindunji

Zoyenera kuchita ngati simukuona ngati wofunika kwambiri paubwenzi? Jessica Biel, amene wakhala m’banja ndi Justin Timberlake kwa zaka khumi, anagwidwa mawu kuti: “Kulankhulana, kulankhulana, kulankhulana.” Kukhoza kukhala woona mtima kwenikweni ponena za mmene mukumvera ndi zosoŵa zanu. 

Pooja akuvomereza. " Lankhulani bwino ndi mnzanu , ndicho chinsinsi. Auzeni kuti mukumva kuti simukufunidwa pankhaniyi. Ngati sakuyeserabe kukonza, muyenera kufunafuna njira yotulukira kapena njira zina," akutero. Chifukwa chake, khalani olimba mtima mokwanira kuti mukhale oona mtima mukamaona kuti ubale wanu ndi wa mbali imodzi. Funsani zomwe mukufuna, mukamamva ngati njira ina muubwenzi.

Muuzeni mnzanuyo pamene simukonda chinachake. Auzeni zinthu zomwe zili zofunika kwa inu kuti akhale ndi mwayi wokonza maphunzirowo. Phunzirani kulankhulana. Izi ziyenera kubwera kuchokera kumalo amphamvu, odzilemekeza, ndi odzilemekeza. Lekani kuopa kuti mnzanuyo angachoke ngati mutafotokoza zosowa zanu. Chifukwa cha mantha awa, mukudzilepheretsa nokha ndi mnzanuyo ubale wakuya. 

2. Konzani zoyembekeza zanu

Chochita ngati simuli patsogolo pa chibwenzi chanu? Ngati mukumva ngati mwayi mu chibwenzi, kudzifufuza kwina kungakuthandizeni kwambiri. Kodi mukuyembekezera kuti mnzanuyo akuchitireni ngati pakati pa chilengedwe chake? Kapena mukufuna kuti akupembedzeni ndikusiya chilichonse nthawi yomweyo mutawapempha? Kodi ziyembekezo zanu zikuchokera kwa anthu osowa kapena mukuyesera kudzaza malo opanda kanthu mkati mwanu?

Ndiye, choti muchite ngati simuli patsogolo mu ubale wanu? Ganizirani zomwe mukuyembekezera. Onetsetsani kuti ndi zenizeni. Chomaliza chomwe mukufuna ndikukhala muubwenzi wodalirana. Ngati mnzanuyo ayamba kukwaniritsa zomwe mukuyembekezera, mwina simungasangalale naye. Koma kumbukiraninso kuti ngati ziyembekezo zanu zili zenizeni komanso zomveka, ndiye kuti simuyenera kunyengerera muubwenzi wanu.

3. Osadziona ngati wofunika kwambiri paubwenzi? Limbikitsani kudzidalira

N’chifukwa chiyani simungathe kufotokoza kuti simukumva ngati munthu wofunika kwambiri paubwenzi? Chifukwa mukuopa kwambiri kuti munthu amene mumamukonda angakusiyeni. Ndipo n’chifukwa chiyani mukuopa kwambiri? Chifukwa mumadziona kuti ndinu wofunika ndipo simukuona kuti ndinu ofunika. Ichi ndichifukwa chake mumakhazikika ndikugwirizana, ngakhale mutadziwa kuti ubalewo sukuthandizani komanso ngakhale mutaona zizindikiro zoti muyenera kuchoka pamene simuli munthu wofunika kwambiri.

Kodi mukuyang'ana maupangiri pazomwe mungachite mukakhala kuti simuli patsogolo paubwenzi wanu? Langizo lofunika kwambiri lomwe tili nalo kwa inu ndikudzipangira kukhala wofunika mwachitsanzo kukhala woyenera pamaso panu. Tengani kamphindi ndikulemba mndandanda wazopambana zanu ndi zomwe mwakwaniritsa. Pangani zolinga zazing'ono ndipo mukakwaniritsa, gwirani kumbuyo. Pamapeto pa tsiku, onetsani madalitso anu ndikuwona zonse zomwe mumayamikira. Izi zidzakuthandizani kuti mukhale wofunika komanso kuti muzidzilemekeza. Ndipo mukangodzilemekeza nokha, simungakhale bwino ndi anthu osakulemekezani.  

4. Osatengeka nazo

Ngati mukumva ngati mwayi muubwenzi, musadandaule kapena kuganizira kwambiri za izi. Izi si nkhani ya moyo kapena imfa. Izi si mayeso enieni a kudziona ngati wofunika kapena kudzidalira. Zingakhale zokhudzana kwambiri ndi momwe mnzanuyo alili munthu komanso momwe nonse mulili oyenerana. Mwina mukuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu wosakhwima . Chibwenzi ndi njira yopezera chibwenzi. Dziwani kuti zosankha zanu nthawi zonse zimakhala zotseguka ndipo si mapeto a dziko ngati simuli patsogolo pa mnzanuyo.

Komanso, ngati simukukhala ndi moyo wosangalala nokha, mudzayembekezera kuti mnzanuyo adzaze chosowacho. Choncho, yambani kudzaza chikho chanu. Khalani ndi zochita komanso zokonda zomwe zimakupangitsani kumva ngati inuyo. Ngati simudzaza nthawi yanu ndi zinthu zomwe mumasangalala nazo, mphamvu zanu zimakhala zosasangalatsa, zokakamira, ndi zosowa, zomwe zingakankhire mnzanu kutali. 

5. Chokanipo

Ndi zachilendo ngati wokondedwa wanu amaika patsogolo thanzi lawo, ntchito, kapena banja kuposa chibwenzi nthawi zina, ngati pakufunika. Koma ngati muwona kachitidwe kopitilira, kosasinthika, ndikwabwino kuchokapo pomwe simuli patsogolo. Makasitomala amafunsa Pooja, "Kodi mungadziwe bwanji kuti nthawi yoti musiyane?" Pooja akugogomezera, "Yakwana nthawi yochoka muzochitika zina - nkhanza, kusalankhulana, kusakhulupirika, kuyatsa gasi."

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Chifukwa chake, ngati ali patsogolo panu ndipo ndinu njira yawo, palibe chifukwa chochepetsera kulandiridwa kwanu. Ndi bwino kuchokapo m’malo molola kuti zisokoneze ulemu wanu. Simuyenera kuwapempha kuti akwaniritse zosowa zanu. Simuyenera kudikira kuti akunyengeni. Ndi bwino kukhala wekha kusiyana ndi kukhala m'mayesero omwe amakupangitsani kudzimva wekha.

Komanso, chithandizo ndi mphatso yabwino kwambiri yomwe mungadzipatse nokha mukamamva ngati mwayi muubwenzi. Mukalankhula ndi katswiri wodziwa bwino ntchito, mumamva kuti mwamva komanso mwatsimikiziridwa. Kupeza njira yomasulirira maganizo anu panthawi ya chithandizo kungakhale njira yabwino yothetsera mavuto omwe simukumva ngati ofunika kwambiri muubwenzi. Katswiri wodziwa ntchito angakuthandizeni kuzindikira mavuto (omwe amachokera ku kuvulala kwa ana) ndipo angapereke mayankho oyenera. Ngati mukufuna thandizo kuti mumvetse bwino vuto lanu, alangizi omwe ali pagulu la Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.

Osawopa kuchoka paubwenzi woyipa komanso kukhala wosakwatiwa ngati mukumva ngati mukufuna kukhala pachibwenzi. Taylor Swift ali ndi malangizo amphamvu oti apereke pankhaniyi, "Ndikuganiza kuti ndibwino kuti aliyense azitha zaka zingapo popanda chibwenzi, chifukwa choti umafunika kudziwa kuti ndiwe ndani. Ndipo ndakhala ndikuganizira kwambiri ndikusanthula ndikuzindikira momwe ndingathanirane ndi zinthu ndekha kuposa momwe ndikanakhalira ndikadakhala ndikungoyang'ana momwe wina akumvera komanso dongosolo la munthu wina. "

Ibibazo

Mauthenga 23 Oganiza Kuti Akonze Ubale Wosweka

Zizindikiro 10 Kuti Ubale Wanu Ndiwongothamanga & Palibe Zina

Zizindikiro 9 Kuti Muli Mu Ubale Wowonongeka M'malingaliro

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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