9 Silent Mbendera Zofiira Mu Ubale Palibe Amene Akukamba za

Chikondi, kukhulupirirana, ulemu, ndi kulankhulana bwino ndizo maziko a ubale wabwino. Ngati zinthuzi zikusowa, zingathandize kuwunika ngati pali mbendera zofiira zopanda phokoso muubwenzi. Izi ndi zizindikiro zochenjeza zomwe nthawi zambiri zimadziwonetsa munthu akangoyamba chibwenzi koma amazinyalanyaza chifukwa zimangowoneka ngati nkhani zazing'ono zomwe sizifunikira chisamaliro.

Tonsefe tikudziwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu monga khalidwe lolamulira, nkhanza zamaganizo kapena zakuthupi, kusalemekezana, kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, nkhanza zakuthupi, kusokoneza, ndi nsanje yoopsa, kungotchulapo zochepa chabe. Koma kodi zizindikiro zofiira zomwe zimaonekera paubwenzi zimatanthauza chiyani? Kuti tiyankhe funsoli ndikumvetsetsa zizindikiro zake, tinalankhula ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Jaseena Backer (MS Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wodziwa za kugonana ndi kusamalira ubale.

9 Silent Mbendera Zofiira Mu Ubale Palibe Amene Akukamba za

Jaseena akuti, "Zizindikiro zofiira zobisika ndi zomwe sizikuonekera bwino kapena zokhumudwitsa monga zomwe zimawonekera bwino monga nkhanza, kusokoneza, ndi kuwotcha . Siziwoneka koma ndi zoopsa ngati zizindikiro zina zilizonse zofiira. Mwina, makamaka chifukwa kuchita nazo kungakhale kosokoneza, ndipo n'kovuta kudziwa chomwe kwenikweni chimayambitsa chibwenzicho. Zizindikiro zofiira zotere zimaphatikizapo kusaganizira bwino muubwenzi, kusayamika kapena kupepesa, kukhala ndi chuma chochuluka, kuyembekezera kuti muwaike patsogolo koma osachita zomwezo, ndikukupatsani ziwopsezo kapena zoletsa."

Anthu amapitiriza kukhala ndi okondedwa omwe ali ndi makhalidwe otere chifukwa amaona kuti akhoza kulekerera ndi kunyalanyaza makhalidwe otere mwa kuwagwirizanitsa ndi chikondi ndi chikondi chomwe okondedwa awo amawasonyeza. Zizindikiro zofiira izi mwa mwamuna kapena mkazi ndi zizindikiro za kusagwirizana komwe kulipo, kusamvetsetsana ndi kukondana, ndi mavuto ena omwe angakhalepo pakati pa okondedwa. Zizindikiro zofiira za ubale woterewu zimatha kuneneratu thanzi ndi moyo wautali wa ubale wautali.

Mukayamba kuwona machenjezo otere, mutha kudzifunsa kuti: "Kodi izi ndi mbendera zofiira kapena ndikungoganiza mopambanitsa?" Zingakutsogolereni kukayikira malingaliro anu ndikudzifunsa nokha, "Kodi kuganiza mozama ndi mbendera yofiira?" Komabe, muyenera kudziŵa kuti ngati mukuona kuti pali chinachake cholakwika, n’kutheka kuti n’cholakwika. Kuzindikira mbendera zofiira zachete mwa mkazi kapena mwamuna yemwe muli naye pachibwenzi kudzakuthandizani kuthana nazo, kugwira ntchito limodzi kuti muchotse zinthuzo, ndikumanga ubale wabwino ndi mnzanuyo. Nawa mbendera zofiira 9 zaubwenzi zomwe palibe amene amalankhula koma ayenera:

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 11 Za Akatswiri Zothanirana ndi Kusudzulana Mwadzidzidzi Mu Ubwenzi Wanthawi Yaitali

1. Okondedwa anu nthawi zambiri amakuuzani kuipa kwa maubwenzi

Ngati munthu amene mumamukonda komanso amene mukufuna kukhala naye nthawi zonse amanena zinthu zopusa zokhudza kuipa kwake paubwenzi wachikondi kapena wapamtima kapena momwe angapangire chibwenzi choipa chifukwa si 'zinthu zofunika paubwenzi', ndi chenjezo kuti muthawire kutali ndi munthuyo momwe mungathere. Onjezani izi pamndandanda wanu wa zizindikiro zowopsa chifukwa munthu akamanena kuti sakonda ubale wa nthawi yayitali, ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu cha ululu womwe mungakumane nawo mtsogolo.

Jaseena akufotokoza kuti: “Ngati mnzanu amene mukufuna kukwatirana naye akupitiriza kunena kuti sali munthu woyenerera kwa inu kuchita naye chibwenzi kapena kumukonda, dziwani kuti khalidwe lotereli n’loterera.

Momwe mungachitire

Njira zingapo zothanirana ndi malingaliro osasamala muubwenzi ndi awa:

• Zindikirani kuti si nthabwala ngakhale mnzanuyo akutanthauza kuti ndi imodzi
• Yesetsani kukambirana nawo momasuka ndi moona mtima za chifukwa chimene akumvera ndi zimene mungachite kuti zinthu ziwayendere bwino
• Apatseni mlandu chifukwa cha zolakwa zawo ndi machitidwe awo m'malo mowalola kuti achoke ndi chowiringula cha "Ndinakuuzani kuti sindichita bwino"
• Ganizirani zochoka ngati wokondedwa wanu sakuwonetsa kudzipereka

2. Kusamvera

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zowopsa zomwe munthu amanyalanyaza. Kukana ndi njira yonyenga yomwe munthu amagwiritsa ntchito mawu oyamikira kapena ndemanga zonyoza wokondedwa wake kapena kumupangitsa kumva ngati sali bwino. Ndi njira yokopa yomwe imagwiritsidwa ntchito kuukira kudzidalira kwawo komanso kudzidalira asanamunyengerere kapena kumusonyeza chikondi. Kafukufuku wopangidwa ndi National Center for Biotechnology Information adapeza kuti kutsutsa mwankhanza kumakhudza kwambiri momwe ubale umagwirira ntchito ndipo sikupatsa chisangalalo chochepa kwa omwe akukhudzidwa.

Jaseena akufotokoza kuti, “Onani ngati mnzanu akukupangitsani kumva ngati simuli bwino. Kodi nthawi zonse amakufananitsani ndi ena? Kodi amakupangitsani kumva ngati simukuyenera kukondedwa nawo? Ngati akukupangitsani kumva ngati simuli bwino komanso osatetezeka kenako n’kukupangitsani kumva ngati mukufuna kutsimikiziridwa kapena kuvomerezedwa ndi iwo, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zofiira zomwe simuyenera kuzinyalanyaza chifukwa zingayambitse mavuto odzidalira .”

Mawu ngati,

• "Ndiwe wonenepa koma wokongola"
• “Ukuwoneka wokongola. Sindinaganizepo kuti ungathe kuchichotsa ndi thupi la mtundu umenewo”
• "Uyendetse bwino mkazi"
• "Zikomo kwambiri chifukwa chakwezedwa! Ndadabwa kuti mwapeza"

... ndi zitsanzo za kunyalanyaza kapena "kutsutsa kolimbikitsa" monga momwe okondedwa kapena anthu odzinyenga amanenera molakwika. Cholinga chake ndikuvulaza kudziona ngati wofunika ndikukupangitsani kumva ngati mukufuna kuvomerezedwa ndi mnzanu. Anthu ambiri amakonda kunyalanyaza koma sayenera kunyalanyaza chifukwa ndemanga zamtunduwu kapena kutsutsa kosalekeza muubwenzi ndi khalidwe loipa komanso mtundu wina wachinyengo. Kupatula apo, si kuyamikiridwa konse komwe kumapangidwira kuti mumve ngati wapadera. Zikuoneka kuti kuyamikiridwa kwambiri kungakhale chizindikiro choyipa.

Momwe mungachitire

Njira zingapo zochepetsera kukhumudwa ndi izi:

• Khalani odziletsa m'malo mobwezera chipongwe. Simuyenera kugwada pamlingo wa mnzanu kuti mubwererenso kwa iwo
• Gwiritsani ntchito nthabwala kuti musokoneze zomwe zikuchitika
• Muuzeni mnzanuyo kuti simukuyamikira kuyamikira kotereku ndipo ayenera kusiya khalidweli
• Chokani ngati mnzanu akukana kupepesa ndikupitirizabe

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungasamalire Zizindikiro Zofiira za Ubale - Katswiri Amakuuzani

3. Okondedwa anu amachedwa nthawi zonse

Kuchedwa ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zofiira zomwe zili chete muubwenzi zomwe sizimaganiziridwa kuti ndizovuta kwambiri. Koma ziyenera. Ngati pali chifukwa chenicheni chomwe mnzanu wachedwera, ndizomveka. Mwina anagona kwambiri tsiku lina, anali ndi tsiku lotanganidwa kwambiri, anali kuchita zinthu zofunika kwambiri pamapeto pake, kapena anali ndi vuto ladzidzidzi loti awasamalire. Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zina zingapo, ngakhale zokhudzana ndi thanzi lawo lamaganizo, ndipo ziri bwino. Koma ngati ikhala njira yobwerezabwereza, muli ndi vuto.

Kuchedwa nthawi zonse komanso kusasonyeza chisoni ndi kusalemekeza ndipo kumasonyeza kuti mnzanuyo sakusamalani ndi inu. Ndi chitsanzo chabwino cha khalidwe losasamala muubwenzi. Zimasonyeza kuti sakuyamikira kapena kulemekeza nthawi yanu komanso sakufuna kuyesetsa kukwaniritsa mapulani omwe nonse awiri munapanga. Mu mkhalidwe wotere, mukuganiza kuti ayesetsa kuti ubalewo ugwire ntchito ? Kodi mukutsimikiza kuti akukukondani monga momwe inu mukufunira? Ngati sangalemekeze nthawi yanu, n’chiyani chimakupangitsani kuganiza kuti akukulemekezani monga munthu payekha?

Momwe mungachitire

Nawa malangizo okuthandizani kuthana ndi vutoli:

• Lankhulani ndi wokondedwa wanu za izo ndipo mudziwitse kuti kuchedwa kwawo sikukondweretsa komanso kosalemekeza
• Dziwani chifukwa chake wokondedwa wanu amachedwa nthawi zonse ndipo yesetsani kupeza njira yapakati
• Khalani chitsanzo ndi njira zanu zoyendetsera nthawi
• Ngati kuchedwa kwa mnzanuyo kukusokonezani, imbani foni

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zinthu 7 Zoneneratu za Kusudzulana Zomwe Muyenera Kudziwa

4. Chibwenzi chikuyenda mofulumira kwambiri

Jaseena anati: “Ngati chibwenzi chatsopano chikuyenda mofulumira kwambiri, ndiye kuti mwina simunaganizirepo zonsezi. Mwina mnzanuyo anakuthamangitsani kuti muyambe chibwenzicho moti simunapeze nthawi yoti muganizire ngati munapanga chisankho choyenera. Mwina simunapeze mpata womvetsa kapena kusanthula zomwe zikuchitika kapena chifukwa chake zikuchitika mofulumira kwambiri.

Zimamveka bwino kuona ubale watsopano kapena chikondi chamkuntho chikufika pamapeto ake opindulitsa m'mafilimu. Koma mukakumana ndi chibwenzi chofulumira m'moyo weniweni, ndibwino kuti mubwerere mmbuyo ndikuwunika momwe mukumvera. Zinthu zikamayenda mwachangu m'magawo oyamba, anthu amakonda kunyalanyaza mbendera zofiira ndipo satha kuwona mbali yoyipa ya abwenzi awo chifukwa akadali okwera pachikondi.

Ubwenzi watsopano umafuna chisamaliro ndipo zimenezo zimatenga nthawi. Sitikunena kuti chikondi chonse chofulumira chimalephera koma kuyenda mofulumira kwambiri muubwenzi kungakhale chizindikiro chobisika chomwe simunachiwone chikubwera. Chikondi choterechi chimatha msanga chikangoyamba — monga momwe chimachitira mutapita pachibwenzi chachitatu chomwe mudapitako muli achinyamata.

Momwe mungachitire

Nawa malangizo ochepa kuti muchepetse liwiro:

• Lankhulani moona mtima ndi wokondedwa wanu za nkhawa zanu, zomwe mukuyembekezera, ndi zosowa zanu
• Mvetserani zomwe akunena popanda kuweruza
• Pezani nthawi yokhala nokha ndikuchita zinthu zomwe mumakonda
• Khazikitsani malire ndikukambirana zoyenera kuchita ngati mmodzi wa inu adutsa malirewo
• Tenganipo pang'ono ndikudzifunsa momwe mukumvera paubwenzi ndi mnzanuyo. Kodi mumamva kuti mumalumikizana nawo kapena ndi zokopa chabe?

5. Wokondedwa wanu wasokonezeka pamalingaliro awo

Jaseena akuti, "Musanafike pamapeto, nthawi zonse dzifunseni - "Kodi mukumva kuti mnzanuyo akusokonezeka ndi malingaliro awo pa inu? Zochita za mnzako zikukudabwitsani ndi mmene chibwenzi chanu chilili? Ngati yankho n’lakuti inde, ndiye kuti mwina mnzanuyo sakumverani mofanana ndi mmene mumamvera mumtima mwake. Zifukwa zingakhale zingapo. Atha kukhala ndi zosatetezeka zawo kapena akhoza kukhala:

• Zokhudza mtima palibe
• Kuwopa kudzipereka
• Kuphwanya mkate
• Osatsimikiza za kukonzekera zam'tsogolo
• Kupanda chidwi ndi ubale
• Ndikuda nkhawa ngati nonse ndinu olingana

Kodi kusatetezeka ndi mbendera yofiira? Inde. Jaseena akufotokoza kuti: “Ngati mnzakoyo akulankhula nthaŵi zonse ndipo akukana kukamba nkhani iliyonse yokhudza ukwati kapena kumanga tsogolo limodzi, n’zoonekeratu kuti sakufuna kukhala nanu mpaka kalekale. Ngati mumayamikira ubwenzi, inu kulankhula za Inde zimatenga m'tsogolo, koma ngati mnzanuyo alibe chidwi, ndi mmodzi wa wochenjera mbendera wofiira mwamuna kapena mkazi. 

Momwe mungachitire

Umu ndi momwe mungathanirane ndi malingaliro osadzipereka a mnzanu:

• Apatseni nthawi ndi mpata kuti asinthe malingaliro awo ndi momwe akumvera pa inu
• Musawakakamize kupanga chisankho chokhudza inu ndi chibwenzi chanu
• Osapitirira kapena kuchoka panjira kuti musangalatse wokondedwa wanu. Iwo angayambe kukuonani mopepuka
• Yang'anani ndi mkhalidwewo modekha ndi mwabata. Kuchita mantha kumangowonjezera mkhalidwewo kwa nonsenu

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Gawo la Ukwati Limatha Liti? Zizindikiro 15 Zoyenera Kuzisamala

6. Kupsa mtima

N’chinthu china kukhala wodekha ndipo china n’kulephera kulamulira maganizo athu zinthu zikavuta. Ngati mnzanuyo amadziwika chifukwa cha kukwiya kwawo nthawi ndi nthawi, ndi chizindikiro chakuti sakudziwa momwe angayendetsere maganizo awo.

Mkwiyo ndi kusakhazikika kwa maganizo ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zofiira zomwe mkazi kapena mwamuna ayenera kunyalanyaza chifukwa amafuula mopanda ulemu. Sikuti ndi kukwiya kokha, ndi nkhanza za mawu ndi zamaganizo zomwe zimakuchitikirani ndipo sizikutanthauza kuti muli ndi ubale wabwino. Ndizachibadwa kukhala ndi mikangano kapena malingaliro osiyanasiyana. Koma ngati mnzanu wakwiya chifukwa cha kulephera kwanu, dziwani kuti muli pachibwenzi choopsa.

Jaseena anati: “Ngati mwakhala mukukangana kwambiri m’chibwenzicho ndipo aliyense wa iwo n’kutha ndi wina kapena onse aŵiriwo akukwiya kapena kukangana, ndiye kuti zimenezo ndi mbendera yofiyira mwakachetechete imene simuyenera kuinyalanyaza.

Momwe mungachitire

Mkwiyo ukhoza kuwononga maubwenzi okondana kwambiri. Kuti muthane ndi vutoli, mutha kuyesa njira izi:

• Choyamba, musabise kapena kutenga mlandu chifukwa cha mkwiyo wa mnzanuyo
• Khalani bata ndi bata mukamatentha. Kuwonjezelapo mafuta pamoto sikudzakusiyani kulikonse
• Ganizirani zochita ndi khalidwe lanu komanso ngati mwakhala mukuchita chilichonse chomukwiyitsa wokondedwa wanu
• Khazikitsani malire mwa kumveketsa bwino kwa mnzanuyo kuchuluka kwa mkwiyo wawo womwe mungalole
• Kupsa mtima kuyenera kuganiziridwa ngati kuphwanya mgwirizano muubwenzi ngati kumaphatikizapo kutchula mayina, nkhanza, ndi kupanda ulemu.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malangizo 9 a Akatswiri Odziwa Ngati Mnzanu Akunama Ponena za Kunyenga

7. Kunama pafupipafupi

Ngati mnzanu nthawi zambiri amakunamizani, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zofiira mwa munthu zomwe simuyenera kuzinyalanyaza. Tonsefe tili ndi mlandu wonama nthawi ina m'maubwenzi athu ndi m'miyoyo yathu. Koma ngati zikukhala chizolowezi ndipo mukuwona zizindikiro za kusakhulupirika mwa iwo nthawi zonse, dziwani kuti si zachilendo ndipo muyenera kuziyika mu mndandanda wanu wa zizindikiro zofiira za chibwenzi.

Jaseena akufotokoza kuti: “Ngati mnzanuyo akuona kuti m’pofunika kunyalanyaza kukhulupirika kwake m’chibwenzi n’kukubisirani mfundo kapena zinthu zimene zikukuuzani kuti linali bodza loyera, ndiye kuti n’chizindikiro chaubwenzi woopsa.” Kuyesetsa kubisa ngakhale zinthu zing’onozing’ono kumatanthauza kuti mnzanuyo sakuchita zinthu moona mtima.

Momwe mungachitire

Nawa maupangiri othana ndi mnzanu yemwe amanama pafupipafupi:

• Kambiranani ndi wokondedwa wanu za mabodza awo modekha, moona mtima, komanso momasuka
• Yesetsani kumvetsetsa / kulingalira zomwe zidawapangitsa kapena kuwapangitsa kuti akunamizeni ndikukambirana nawo za izi.
• Muwonetseni momveka bwino kwa wokondedwa wanu kuti simukuyamikira ndipo simungalole kunamizidwa
• Lingaliraninso chosankha chanu chopitiriza ubwenzi wotero

8. Madeti ausiku ndi osowa, mumangolankhula pamene kuli kofunikira

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zowopsa kwambiri muubwenzi. Kukhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi mnzanu ndikofunikira kuti ubale wanu ukhale wolimba . Kusonyeza chikondi chanu kwa mnzanuyo ndikulimbitsa ubale wanu ndi iye ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti ubale wanu ukhale wathanzi komanso wokhutiritsa. Koma ngati masiku amenewo ochezerana ayamba kuchepa kwambiri moti simukukumbukira nthawi yomaliza yomwe mudapitako, ndiye kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zowopsa zomwe simuyenera kuzinyalanyaza muubwenzi.

Ngati kukambirana kwanu kuli kokha kuntchito, kulipira ngongole, kusamalira ana, kapena nkhani ina iliyonse yofunika, ndi nkhani yodetsa nkhawa. Ngati mwasiya kupanga nthawi yocheza wina ndi mzake, kutumiza mauthenga okondana ndi okondana, kapena kuyamikirana, ndiye kuti pali vuto.

Momwe mungachitire

Nazi zomwe mungachite kuti muthetse nkhani zanu zoyankhulirana ndikupangitsa kuti ubale wanu ukhale wolimba:

• Yambani inuyo kuti musinthe m’malo modikira kuti mnzanuyo achite zimenezo
• Yesetsani kukambirana momveka bwino ndi mnzanuyo. Yambani ndi "Kodi ntchito inali bwanji?" kapena “Tsiku lanu linali bwanji?” ndi kupita patsogolo ku nkhani yozama
• Konzani masiku pamodzi. Kupsopsonani pafupipafupi. Yesetsani kutsitsimutsa ubwenzi wakuthupi muubwenzi
• Dabwitsanani ndi mphatso kapena zinthu zatsopano zomwe mungathe kuchita limodzi

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9. Mumapewa kukambitsirana zovuta ndipo simufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zofiira muubwenzi ndi okondedwa kupewa mikangano kapena mikangano. Wokondedwa wanu ayenera kukhala malo anu otetezeka, kukupatsani chitonthozo. Ngati mukuzengereza kukambirana nawo zovuta kapena kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu pamaso pawo, dziwani kuti izi ndizizindikiro zaubwenzi wosayenera.

Chizolowezichi chimangopangitsa kuti ubalewo ukhale woopsa komanso wovuta kuusunga. Chimawononga kudalirana, kupangitsa kuti pasakhale ulemu, komanso kuyambitsa mavuto olankhulana muubwenzi . Onse awiri akhoza kukwiyirana. "Kupewa kukambirana kovuta sikungakubweretsereni vuto," akutero Jaseena.

Momwe mungachitire

Mutha kutsata malangizo awa kuti musiye kusesa zokambirana zosasangalatsa pansi pa rug:

• Konzekerani zomwe mukufuna kunena kwa okondedwa wanu pasadakhale
• Kambiranani nonse mukamadekha
• Nenani zomwe mukufuna kunena monga momwe mukuwonera. Yambani ndi mawu akuti 'Ine'. Muuzeni mnzanuyo mmene mukumvera pa nkhani inayake m’malo momuimba mlandu kapena kumuimba mlandu
• Khalani olunjika pa mutuwo ndikumvetsera zomwe mnzanuyo akunena pankhaniyi

Ngati mungagwirizane ndi zizindikiro zofiira zomwe tazitchula pamwambapa za ubale wosayenera, ndiye tikukulimbikitsani kuti mukambirane ndi mnzanuyo za nkhaniyi. Yesetsani kupulumutsa ubale wanu, zizindikiro zofiira zachilendozi zisanakhale zifukwa zopatukana. Osanyalanyaza zomwe ukudziwa kuti nzolakwika. Palibe chabwino chomwe chidatulukapo chifukwa chokhala muubwenzi wopanda thanzi.

Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa zomwe mbendera zofiira zopanda phokoso muubwenzi zimatanthauza kuti mutha kupeza njira zothetsera poizoni. Jaseena, pofotokoza maganizo ake omalizira pa mutuwo, anati: “Dziwani kuti si chifukwa chanu. 

Koma ngati mwasankha kuyambiranso chibwenzi chanu ndipo mukufuna thandizo, gulu la akatswiri odziwa bwino ntchito komanso ovomerezeka la Bonobology lili pafupi nanu.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.