Kuthetsa maubwenzi oipa si nthabwala. Kuchulukitsidwa ndi mkwiyo, nsanje, ndi kusatetezeka - mfundo yakuti mwasankha kuyimitsa ubale wapoizoniwu ndi sitepe yaikulu kwambiri. Chomwe chimapangitsa maubwenziwa kukhala owopsa poyambirira ndikuti amakuyikani pachimake chomwe simungathe kuchichotsa.
Nthawi zina, mungadziwe mu mtima mwanu kuti muyenera kusiya chibwenzi chomwe muli nacho, koma kupeza njira yochitira izi popanda kukhala chisokonezo ndizovuta. Mu mphamvu zapoizoni, nthawi zambiri zimakhala zowopsa. Zotsatira zake, mumachoka pakuyembekeza kusintha, kuyesa kulakalaka zowopsa zonse, mpaka kuzindikira kuti muyenera kuchoka - komabe simungathe.
Kubwerera m'mbuyo kuchokera pansi pa phiri ili si ntchito yoipa. Kuti titsimikize kuti mwachita bwino, tikukubweretserani upangiri wa akatswiri ochokera kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo Sampreeti Das (wofufuza wa Masters mu Clinical Psychology ndi Ph.D.), yemwe ndi katswiri wa Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy ndi Holistic and Transformational Psychotherapy. Tiyeni tifufuze mozama za ubale woopsa ndikupeza momwe tingasiyire ubale woopsa ndi ulemu.
Kuthetsa Maubwenzi Oopsa - Malangizo 12 Okuthandizani
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Mu maubwenzi otere, sikuti mumangozunzidwa, kugwiritsiridwa ntchito molakwika, ndikutayidwa mobwerezabwereza, koma kulupuku kumawoneka kuti kukuzungulirani ndikukupangitsani kuti musathe kupeza chithandizo. Ngakhale simukusangalala komanso kusokonezedwa muubwenzi, simungapezebe zizindikiro zotuluka. Popeza mwapereka kale zambiri za inu nokha ndi mphamvu zanu muubwenzi, zikuwoneka ngati zamwano kuchoka popeza ulusi uliwonse wa inu wadyedwa kale moyipa poyesa kupanga zinthu.
Kuonjezera apo, sewero la zonsezo latha mphamvu zanu mpaka pamene simumadziona kuti mukutuluka ndikukhalanso munthu yemweyo. Mwatsala pang’ono kuiwala mmene munalili, zinthu zimene zinakupangitsani kukhala osangalala muubwenzi zimaoneka ngati maloto akutali, ndipo zonse zimene muli nazo ndi ciyembekezo ca mtsogolo.
Kuti mumve zambiri zamakanema akatswiri chonde lembani ku Youtube Channel yathu. Dinani apa.
Ngati mukugwirizana ndi zomwe zili pamwambapa, dziwani kuti mwafika pamalo oyenera. Koma tisanalankhule zambiri zokhudza kuthetsa maubwenzi oopsa , tiyeni tikambirane za ubale woopsa.
Sampreeti akuti, "Ubale uliwonse womwe umachepetsa kumva kuti munthu ali ndi mphamvu ndi ubale woopsa. Sizikunena za amene ali wolondola ndi amene walakwitsa. Koma zimanena za ngati anthu omwe ali pachibwenzi ali olondola kwa wina ndi mnzake."
Ndi mtundu wa mphamvu zomwe zimapangitsa munthu kumva kuti watopa, koma sangathe kuchita chilichonse. Zinthu nthawi zambiri zimakhala zoyipa, ndipo poizoni nthawi zambiri amaphatikizidwa ndi nkhanza. Malinga ndi Healthline, makhalidwe a ubale woopsa ndi awa:
- Nkhanza - zakuthupi, zamaganizo, zogonana, zamaganizo, zolankhula, kapena zachuma. Zonsezi zimapangitsa ubale wapoizoni, komabe, ndikofunikira kuzindikira kuti ubale ukhoza kukhala wapoizoni ngakhale popanda nkhanza zowonekera.
- Mpikisano pakati pa okondedwa womwe umakhala wopanda thanzi,
- Kusathandizana
- Kulankhulana kwapoizoni ndi mwachipongwe
- Kulamulira khalidwe
- Kukhumudwa mu chiyanjano
- Kusakhulupirika
- Zitsanzo za kusalemekeza
- Makhalidwe oipa azachuma
Zizindikiro za ubale wapoizoni zimatha kusiyana pang'ono muzochita zilizonse, koma chinthu chimodzi chimakhala chofala: kusokoneza malingaliro anu kapena thanzi lanu. Ngakhale zili zovuta kwambiri pakali pano, ambiri aife timakodwa muukwati kapena maubwenzi omwe amayamba kutimanga.
M'kupita kwa nthawi, zotsatirapo zoyipa za kukhala mu mphamvu ngati iyi zimakhala zenizeni. Malinga ndi kafukufuku , anthu omwe sapeza njira yothetsera ubale woopsa amakhala pachiwopsezo chachikulu cha matenda a mtima, kuthamanga kwa magazi, kunenepa kwambiri, komanso thanzi labwino la maganizo. Kupsinjika maganizo kosatha kungayambitse kutopa kwa adrenal, ndichifukwa chake nthawi zonse mumakhala otopa.
Monga momwe mungadziwire pofika pano, kumvetsetsa momwe mungasiyire ubale wapoizoni ndikofunikira kwa ola limodzi. Popeza mulibe ulemu pang'ono pakuchita kwanu, kutsiriza zinthu sikudzakhalanso kophweka, ndipo kungakuwonongerani ulemu wanu. Komabe, njira yolekanitsa ikakhala yosavuta, kumakhala kosavuta kupitiriza. Tiyeni tiwone masitepe angapo kuti tichoke paubwenzi wapoizoni.
1. Kuti muthetse chibwenzi choyipa, chotsani kaye magalasi opaka utoto wa rozi
Chifukwa chachikulu chomwe munthu sangathe kusiya chibwenzi choopsa pamene mukuwakondabe ndichakuti amavala magalasi okhala ndi utoto wa duwa. Monga momwe Wanda Pierce adanenera mu pulogalamu ya Bojack Horseman , "Mukayang'ana munthu kudzera m'magalasi amtundu wa duwa, mbendera zonse zofiira zimangowoneka ngati mbendera wamba."
Kuthetsa maubwenzi owopsa ndikuchotsa zosefera zomwe mwaziyika pamaso panu mosavuta. Zosefera zimakulepheretsani kuwona zomwe zili zolakwika, kaya ndikuopa kukhala wosungulumwa, kuchita mantha ndi wokondedwa wanu, kapena mtundu wina wa matenda oopsa a Stockholm.
Magalasi anu opangidwa ndi rozi angapitirize kukupatsani chiyembekezo chabodza, kukupangitsani kukhulupirira kuti zinthu zidzasintha ngakhale ena atakuchondererani kuti mutulukemo. Kaya mukuyesera kusiya ukwati woopsa kapena mukufuna kusiya ubale wolemekezeka, choyamba chiyenera kukhala kuyitana zokopa, ndikuvomereza zovuta zomwe zili muubwenzi wanu.
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2. Kumvetsetsa momwe mukumvera kuti musiye ubale woyipa wokhala ndi ulemu
Ngati muli paubwenzi wapoizoni, pali mwayi wabwino kuti mwanyamula mwaukhondo ndikutsekera zakukhosi kwanu kuchipinda. Chifukwa chomwe mukudziyika nokha pachinthu chovuta kwambiri ndikuti mutha kukhala osadziwa zakukhosi kwanu komanso zosowa zanu. Mumakana malingaliro anu a mantha, nkhawa, chisoni, ndi mkwiyo, kotero kuti simuyenera kulingalira za kufunikira kwanu kwa chisangalalo, chikondi, ulemu, ndi chilungamo mu chiyanjano.
Chifukwa chake timakhala osadziwa zakukhosi kwathu ndikudziteteza kuti tisavomereze zovuta zenizeni. Kusadziwa kosangalatsa ndikosavuta kuposa kukambirana ndi inu nokha, ndipo ndicho chifukwa chake anthu ambiri samatha kudziwa momwe angachokere paubwenzi ndi ulemu.
Kuti mufike poti simungathe kungozindikira komanso kumenyera zomwe mukuyenera, muyenera kutsatira momwe mukumvera ndikudzidzimutsa nokha. Kuti mudzilole kuti muchiritse ndikutuluka muubwenzi wosasangalatsa , muyenera kuzindikira kufunika kochira poyamba.
3. Dziwani chomwe chikukulepheretsani kuthetsa maubwenzi oipa
Kodi ndi kuzungulira kosalekeza? Kodi mwapeza kuti mobwerezabwereza mukuchita nawo maubwenzi oipa kapena ngakhale mabwenzi? Kodi mukuvomereza kuti nthawi zambiri mumalola kuti anthu aziyenda pa inu? Kodi anthu amene mumawadziwa nthawi zambiri amakukondani? Yakwana nthawi yoti mumvetsetse ngati pali njira yomwe ikukupangitsani kuti simungathe kuchoka paubwenzi woyipa.
Monga momwe Sampreeti adafotokozera, "Kusiya ubale wapoizoni kungakhale kovuta pazifukwa zambiri: kusakhala ndi zida zokwanira zoyambira nokha, malingaliro achikhalidwe, ziwopsezo zapayekha, kupezeka kwa mamembala ena odalira, ndi zina zambiri." Yakwana nthawi yoti muyang'ane mwa inu nokha ndikuwona zomwe zikukulepheretsani kukhala ndi ubale wabwino kwambiri.
Popeza ichi ndi chinthu chomwe ndi chosiyana ndi aliyense, kupanga mapulani owongolera ndi chinthu chomwe chingakhale chapadera kwa inunso. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mavuto azachuma amakutsekerezani, muyenera kupeza njira yodzipezera nokha kuthandizidwa ndi anthu omwe mumawakhulupirira. Nthawi zina, ngati mukupunthwa kuti mukhulupirire kuti ndinu vuto, kuchitapo kanthu kwakunja mwanjira ya chithandizo ndikofunikira.
Choncho, kaya mukulimbana ndi kusiya ubwenzi woopsa ndi mwana kapena simukuwoneka kuti mukusiya ubale woopsa pamene “mumamukonda”, chinthu chofunika kwambiri chimene mungachite ndicho kudziwa chimene chikukulepheretsani kuchita zimenezi, ndiponso mmene mungachitire zimenezi.
4. Pezani anthu amene amakukondani
Thandizo ndi malangizo omwe mumapeza mwa anzanu sangasokonezedwe mukamayesetsa kuchoka paubwenzi woipa. Ngati mukuzunzidwa, mukuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu wodzikonda, kapena mukuzunzidwa nthawi zonse, pali mwayi waukulu kuti simungathe kuthana ndi vutoli nokha. Koma palibe vuto. Winawake adzakugwirani dzanja.
Kuululira wina zakukhosi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zazikulu zothetsa maubwenzi oipa. Kaonedwe ka munthu wachitatu kungakuthandizeni kuona zinthu m’njira imene simunaganizepo. Ndikofunikira kupeza upangiri pa ubale kuchokera kwa munthu amene amakukondani ndi kukusamalirani zofooka zanu zisanakugwetseni.
"Iwalani za momwe ndingathetsere chibwenzi choyipa ndi chibwenzi changa, ndinakhumudwa kwambiri mpaka sindimadziwa kuti ndili paubwenzi woyipa." Dokotala wanga adandiuza kuti kusadzidalira komanso kuda nkhawa kwanga kumachitika chifukwa cha kugonjetsera komwe ndimakumana nako muubwenzi wanga. Milwaukee.
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5. Konzekeranitu pamene mukufuna kuchoka paubwenzi wapoizoni
Mwina mukukonzekera kusiya chibwenzi choopsa mukakhala limodzi. Yakwana nthawi yoti muyendetse zinthu zina m'mutu mwanu. Mungafunike kusaka malo ena oti mukhalemo, mwina kufunafuna wokhala naye kuti muchepetse ndalama, kapena mwina mnzanu wapoizoni ndipo muli ndi bwalo la bwenzi lomwelo ndipo mukuganiza za momwe mungayendere zovuta ngati izi.
Kumunyoza mnzanu woopsa amene mukuchoka sikungakuthandizeni. Adzakukakamizani kuti musamadzidalire, ayambe kudzudzula ena , ndikupeza njira yoti akupangitseni kukhalabe. Onetsetsani kuti mwakonzeka kumvera zimene anganene, ndipo ndi bwino kuyembekezera zoipa kwambiri kuchokera kwa iwo.
Chifukwa chake musanachite chilichonse mwachinyengocho ndikugonja pamakangano awo, pangani dongosolo ndi dongosolo la momwe mungachitire. Pokhala patsogolo pang'ono, mukuganizira momwe mungachokere paubwenzi ndi ulemu.
6. Lankhulani ndi bwenzi lanu musanathetse chibwenzi choopsa
Kuthetsa maubwenzi oopsa sikuli kunyamula matumba anu ndikukwera ndege yotsatira ndikuchoka kudziko pamene mnzanuyo ali kuntchito. Ngati mwawakonda kwa nthawi yayitali ndipo mukufuna kusiya ubale woyipa wokhala ndi ulemu, muyenera kulumikizana nawo. Mutawunika momwe mukumvera ndikudzitsimikizira kuti mukuyenera kuchita bwino, ndikofunikira kupereka mawu omwe mwangopeza kumene.
Khalani pansi, fotokozani madandaulo anu, ndipo muwasonyeze kuti simuli oyenerera kuthetsedwanso. Angakupempheni kuti mukhalebe, akupatseni chitsimikizo choti asintha khalidwe lawo, akupempheni kuti muwakhulupirirenso , kapena akunyalanyazeni kwathunthu ndikuyamba kukwiya. Kaya nkhani yanu ndi yotani, mwanena nkhani yanu ndipo mwakhazikitsanso chidaliro chanu chokwanira kuti muchoke paubwenzi woipa ndi chikumbumtima choyera.
Komabe, ngati mumachitiridwa nkhanza zapakhomo ndipo mukulamulidwa ndi thupi, kungakhale kwanzeru kukhala ndi chithandizo chamtundu wina pamene mukukambitsirana, kapena kuchoka m’nyumbamo n’kukambitsirana pa foni, ngati kuli kotheka. Ngati mukufuna kusiya unansi wapoizoni ndi mwana, kukambitsirana za m’tsogolo n’kofunika kwambiri, pokhapokha ngati anali kuchitira nkhanza mwanayo. Zikatero, ingochokani nokha kuchitetezo choyamba.
7. Dzikumbutseni ubwino wothetsa ubwenzi woipa
Nthawi zina, timakonda kwambiri moti zimachititsa kuti munthu azimva kuti wakhudzidwa ndi kutayika ndipo sangabwererenso. Mukachoka paubwenzi woopsa mukamamukondabe, mungamve kuti zizindikiro zosiyanitsidwazo zikulowa ndipo mungafune kuthamangira kwa wakale wanu chifukwa amakudziwitsani. Koma ndi nthawi yoti muganizire za ubwino wothetsa chibwenzi choopsa komanso momwe mungapitirire mtsogolo.
Tsopano muli ndi mwayi wokhala ndi moyo wokhutiritsa umene mumaulakalaka. Kumanani ndi bwenzi lomwe samakulolani kuti mupite naye kokacheza, kuvala diresi lomwe adanena kuti likuwululira kwambiri, kapena potsiriza mudye chidutswa cha keke chomwe nthawi zonse amati chidzanenepetsani. Zing'onozing'ono kapena zazikulu momwe zingakhalire, mukuyenera ndipo ndi nthawi yoti mudzipatse nokha.
8. Kuti musiye ubale woopsa ndi ulemu, ikani phazi lanu pansi
Ndipo apa, tikutanthauza kutenga lamulo loti musalumikizane ndi munthu wina mozama momwe mungathere. Makamaka ngati ndi nkhani ya nkhanza, kudzudzulidwa nthawi zonse, kuopsezedwa kuphedwa, kapena mitundu ina ya kuopseza, ndi nthawi yoti musiye kupatsa wokuchitirani zomwe akufuna. Ndipo chomwe akufunadi kwa inu ndi kuchitapo kanthu.
Sampreeti akulangiza kuti, "Kuti asiye ubale woipa ndi ulemu, munthu ayenera kukhala ndi chikhulupiriro chakuti ali ndi ulemu, ali ndi chiyanjano kapena alibe. Kubwerera kumbuyo kungakhale mwamsanga pamene zizindikiro zochenjeza zimawonekera kotero kuti munthu asadzimve kuti wawonongeka kwambiri kuti ayambenso.
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9. Ganizirani kuti nthawi yakwana yoti mukhale patokha
Mwina muli m'nthawi yoti musiye chibwenzi choopsa mukakhala limodzi. Mwagawana chilichonse kuyambira mswachi wanu mpaka mantha anu akuya, amdima kwambiri wina ndi mnzake. Ndizovuta kulingalira moyo wanu popanda iwo chifukwa palibe amene amakudziwani bwino kuposa iwo. Popeza pali malo ambiri ogawana komanso mbiri yakale, zingakhale zovuta kwambiri kuchoka paubwenzi wapoizoni.
Kotero, pamene mukuyesera kupeza momwe mungachokere muubwenzi woopsa womwe uli ndi mbiri yambiri, kusiya chibwenzi ndi mnzanu n'kofunika kwambiri. Zingawoneke ngati chinthu chovuta kwambiri padziko lonse lapansi, koma ndicho chomwe muyenera kuchita. Vomerezani kuti ndi nthawi yoti muchoke, musiye kuwakonda , mukhale nokha, mupange chizolowezi chatsopano, ndipo mwina muyambe kuphika zakudya zanu zonse ndikupeza ndalama zanu nokha. Ngakhale kuti zingawoneke zovuta tsopano, mudzadziyamikira mtsogolo chifukwa chokhala wodziyimira pawokha m'maganizo.
10. Dzipatseni mphoto chifukwa chokhala bwino
Kusiya ubale wapoizoni mukamawakonda kungawoneke kosatheka kwa inu pakali pano. Koma inu mukupita kumeneko, ndipo izo zokha nzoyamikirika. Itha kukhala gawo laling'ono tsopano, koma kupita munjira yoyenera nthawi zonse ndikopambana. Chifukwa chake kuti mupitilizebe ndikupewa malingaliro olakwika omwe amakulepheretsani, dzipangeni kuti mukhale bwino.
Mwina mutasankha kusawatumizira uthenga, tengani croissant yomwe nthawi zonse mumayesetsa kuinyalanyaza pawindo la buledi mukupita kuntchito. Kapena tsegulani botolo la vinyo lomwe mumasungira nthawi yomwe pamapeto pake mumapita patsogolo ndikukhazikitsa pulogalamu yatsopano yopezera chibwenzi . Pangani chilichonse kukhala chofunikira! Komabe, kuchira sikophweka, choncho musaganize kuti simuyenera kudzipatsa mphotho chifukwa cha kupita patsogolo kwanu chifukwa choti mwatenga masitepe asanu patsogolo ndi masitepe awiri kumbuyo.
11. Dzikhudzeni nokha mutathetsa maubwenzi oipa
Mukangoganizira momwe mungathetsere chibwenzi choopsa ndi chibwenzi kapena chibwenzi kapena mnzanu, ndondomekoyi siithera pamenepo. Muyenera kudzisangalatsa, osati kukhala pabedi lanu ndikuyang'ana rom-com yakale yomweyi kwa nthawi ya miliyoni mutatsegula paketi ina ya mac ndi tchizi. Ndi nthawi yoti musinthe zinthu kuti zikhale zabwino, zimayamba ndi kupereka malingaliro ndi thupi lanu zomwe zimafunikira.
"Pali njira zambiri zomwe anthu angapitirire nazo, kutengera zomwe zimawakomera. Chilichonse kupatula kupirira mopanda thanzi monga kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kusiya kucheza ndi anthu, khalidwe lobwezera, ndi zina zotero. Zingakhale njira yothandiza kwa anthu osiyanasiyana. Munthu akhoza kuchita nawo zosangalatsa zomwe anataya kwa nthawi yaitali, kumanganso gulu lawo lachiyanjano, kuyesetsa kukhala oganiza bwino, kuwerenga mabuku osangalatsa, kapena ngakhale kupita ulendo. " Tiyerekeze kuti muli ndi upangiri wothandizidwa ndi akatswiri kuti musungitse matikiti opita ku Hawaii!
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12. Ndipo ngati izi sizikugwira ntchito, yesani chithandizo
Sampreeti anati: “Makhalidwe amene amaganizira kwambiri za kudzikuza pamene akupita patsogolo angasunge chidaliro chimene munthu amakhala nacho mwa iwo.”
Ngati simungathe kuchotsa malingaliro amenewo, mukuvutikabe, ndipo sikuti ndi kutopa kokha chifukwa cha ulendo wanu waku Hawaii - mwina nthawi yoti mupite kwa katswiri. Kuthetsa maubwenzi oopsa sikophweka ndipo mwina mukuyang'anabe njira zoti mumve bwino. Pankhaniyi, mwina nthawi yoti mudzitengere nokha mozama ndikupempha chitsogozo cha katswiri wa zamaganizo. Ndipo thandizo loyenera lili pafupi nanu. Bonobology ili ndi gulu la akatswiri a zamaganizo omwe ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.
Bukhuli lothetsera maubwenzi oipa likuyenera kukukhazikitsani panjira yoti muzitha kudzikonda, kudzikonda, ndi kudzisamalira. Ngati mukuvutika, ingodalirani ndondomekoyi ndipo dziwani kuti mwapeza izi. Kwangotsala nthawi kuti muchotse khungu lanu lokalamba, lotopa ndikutuluka chatsopano!
Zigawo 7 Za Psychology Ya Amuna Panthawi Yopanda Kulumikizana - Mothandizidwa ndi Katswiri
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
