Zizindikiro 9 Kuti Muli Mu Ubale Wowonongeka M'malingaliro

Kufalitsa chikondi

Mukakhala ndi munthu amene mumamukonda, mukuyenera kumva kamphepo ka bata pafupi nanu komanso mkati mwanu. Ubale uyenera kukhala ngati kunyumba. Muyenera kupeza mtendere mwa wina ndi mzake. Koma muubwenzi wosokoneza maganizo, mudzafuna kuthawa mnzanu wofunikira. Inde, palibe ubale womwe uli wangwiro ndipo padzakhala mikangano ndi mavuto nthawi ndi nthawi. Koma si ubale wabwino ngati umakupangitsani kumva ngati mukupereka zambiri kuposa zomwe mumalandira.

Kuti tidziwe zambiri zokhudza maubwenzi ofooketsa maganizo, tinalankhula ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Jayant Sundaresan . Iye anati, “Tisanalankhule zambiri zokhudza zizindikiro za maubwenzi otere, choyamba tiyenera kufunsa ngati ubalewu unali wovuta chonchi nthawi zonse kapena kusintha kwaposachedwa kwa malo komwe kwachititsa kuti munthu avutike maganizo.

"Ngati ubale wayamba kukhala wotopetsa chifukwa cha zochitika zingapo monga kusokoneza kwa banja kapena kulemetsa kwa ntchito ndipo simungathe kukupatsani nthawi, ndiye kuti mutha kukhala pansi ndi kukambirana." Tulutsani zakukhosi kwanu ndikukonza. Ubale wodetsa maganizo ndiwo kusankha kokha.”

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Jayant akuti, “Muubwenzi wovuta maganizo, nthawi zonse mumawoneka ngati mukubwerera m’mbuyo kuti muchite zomwe mnzanu akufuna komanso zomwe akufuna. Nthawi zonse zimakhala za zofuna ndi zokhumba za mnzanuyo. Khama lanu muubwenzi silimafanana. Ndinu nokha amene mukusuntha kumwamba ndi dziko lapansi kuti muyesere kuti ubalewo ugwire ntchito pamene mnzanuyo akungokhala pamenepo ndikuyembekezera kupatsidwa chikondi. Sadzasuntha chala chilichonse kuti chigwirizane ndi khama lanu.

Komanso, sangasonyeze n’komwe kuyamikira chilichonse chimene mwayambitsa chibwenzicho.” Zimene zimachitika apa ndi munthu amene akupereka zonse zimene angathe ndipo chilichonse n’chofooketsa maganizo.

Zizindikiro 9 Kuti Muli Mu Ubale Wowonongeka M'malingaliro

Mumasamala za mnzanu. Inu mumawakonda kwambiri. Koma mukumva kutopa mu ubale? Kodi zikukubweretserani zowawa zambiri ndi nkhawa? Ngati ndi choncho, yang'anani zizindikiro zomwe zili pansipa zaubwenzi wosokoneza maganizo zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuthana ndi vutoli m'njira yabwino.

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1. Ndinu ochepa mphamvu

Jayant akuti, "Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu za ukwati/ubale wovuta ndikusowa mphamvu. Mphamvu zanu zonse zimachepa poika mnzanu patsogolo pa chilichonse. Nthawi zonse mumamuika patsogolo pa chilichonse chomwe sichili chifukwa cha chikondi koma chifukwa cha mkhalidwe ndi mantha kuti adzamva chisoni kapena adzakwiya ngati atayikidwa kwina osati poyamba. Mtundu uwu wa kusokonezeka maganizo ndi kutopa pachibwenzi zidzakusiyani otopa."

Wokondedwa wanu akuyenera kukupatsani mphamvu. Ukapereka zochuluka koma osalandira kalikonse, zimakupangitsa kukhala wokhumudwa. Mphamvu zanu ndi zanu. Mumasankha kuti mupereke zingati. Pamene bwenzi lanu drains inu kuposa mmene mumaganizira, ndi nthawi kufunsa ngati kusiya ubwenzi wotopa ndi chisankho choyenera kwa inu. Pangani thanzi lanu lamalingaliro kukhala chinthu chofunikira kwambiri.

2. Ubale wina umakhudza maubwenzi ena

Jayant akuwonjezera kuti, "Ubale wosokoneza maganizo udzakhudza mbali zina za moyo wanu. Zimakhudza ubale ndi mgwirizano umene mumagawana ndi banja lanu, abwenzi, ndi anzanu. Mudzawona ntchito yanu ikutsika. Mukanakhala wochita bwino kwambiri kuntchito ndipo tsopano moyo wanu wa ntchito ukukhudzidwa, ndiye kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za ubale wosokoneza maganizo.

"Mu maubwenzi oterewa otopetsa maganizo , ngakhale nthawi yanu yokha idzakhala yodzaza ndi mavuto. Anzanu ndi abale anu adzakuuzani kuti simulinso chimodzimodzi. Adzazindikira nthawi yomweyo kuti pali china chake chomwe chikukuvutitsani. Ngati mwataya chilakolako chomwe munali nacho chokwaniritsa zolinga zanu ndipo tsopano pali kusowa kwa zochita kumbali yanu, ndiye kuti muyenera kupeza njira yopezera moyo wanu ndikulankhula ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wotopa maganizo."

3. Mudzabisira achibale anu ndi anzanu zinthu

Jayant anawonjezera kuti: “Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zimene anthu ambiri amene ali m’chibwenzi chosokoneza maganizo amachita, amasiya kuuza achibale awo zinthu chifukwa chochita manyazi komanso kuchita manyazi chifukwa cha mmene zinthu zilili pa moyo wawo.

"Zidzasintha momwe munkakhalira omasuka komanso oona mtima ndi abale anu ndi anzanu. Gawani katundu wanu wamaganizo ndi munthu wodalirika kapena wachibale wanu. Mukasiya kugawana zinthu zotere, mungamve ngati mukupita kutali ndi iwo. Munthawi ngati izi, ndikukulangizani kuti musasiye anthu anu apadera. Muyenera kulankhula nawo komanso kudalira iwo kuti akupatseni maganizo awo pankhani ya chisokonezo chomwe chili muubwenzi wanu."

4. Mumayembekezera kukhala kutali ndi bwenzi lanu

Jayant akuti, "Muubwenzi wovuta maganizo, mudzalakalaka kukhala nokha. Ngati simukupeza nthawi zambiri, mudzayamba kunama kuti mupeze. Mudzangopeka nkhani. Mudzanena kuti muyenera kugwira ntchito mochedwa ku ofesi ndikugwiritsa ntchito maola obedwawo kuti mubwezeretsenso. Nthawi zina, ngati ubalewo sungathe kukonzedwa , ngakhale nthawi imeneyo yokhala nokha idzakhala yodzaza ndi mavuto ndi nkhawa. Mudzadikira kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wovuta maganizo agone kenako n’kupita kunyumba kuti mupewe. Umu ndi momwe zimakhalira zovuta kwambiri."

Aliyense amafunikira nthawi yokhayokha koma ngati mupita kukafunafuna nthawi yokhayo, muyenera kuganiziranso za ubalewo. Amati kusowa kumapangitsa mtima kukula. Koma ndi chikondi ngati mu nthawi ngati zimenezi, simuphonya wokondedwa wanu ndi kukondwerera mgwirizano wanu? Si. Kusasowa bwenzi lanu mukakhala kutali ndi iwo zimangotanthauza kuti mukumva kutopa pachibwenzi.

infographic pothetsa ubale wosokoneza maganizo — Zizindikilo kuti muli muubwenzi wosokoneza maganizo

5. Mudzayamba kuyenda pazigoba za mazira mozungulira wokondedwa wanu

Jayant akufotokoza kuti: "Paubwenzi wabwino, sumapewa kulankhulana chifukwa mnzanuyo amakhumudwa ndi maganizo anu. Mudzasefa zonse zomwe zimatuluka mkamwa mwanu. Mudzaonetsetsa kuti mwasankha bwino mawu ndi khalidwe lanu kuti musakhumudwitse kapena kukwiyitsa wokondedwa wanu. Wokondedwa wanu ayenera kukhala bwenzi lanu lapamtima pamene simumubisira kalikonse.

Ngati mukufunsa chifukwa chomwe ubale wanga ukundifooketsa, ndiye kuti mwina mumathera sekondi iliyonse ya moyo wanu kuchita chilichonse chomwe mungathe kuti musawakhumudwitse. Mumaganiza mopambanitsa musanagawane nawo kanthu. Ichi ndi khalidwe lapoizoni ndi chimodzi mwa zazikulu zibwenzi mbendera wofiira. Zingayambitse mavuto aakulu a maganizo.

6. Mumamva kuti mwatsekeredwa

Jayant akuti, "Zina mwa zinthu zomwe mumayang'ana mwa mnzanu ndi chikondi, chitonthozo, chisangalalo, komanso kumva kuti ndinu woyenera. Si ubale wabwino ngati mukumva kuti mwatsekeredwa kapena mulibe njira yotulukira. Izi zimakhala zovuta kwambiri ngati muli pabanja ndipo muli ndi ana. Mumadzimva kuti mwatopa kwambiri ndi ubalewu."

“Si inu nokha amene muli mumsampha, koma ndi kukula kwa chibwenzi, kumene kumatsekereza. Inuyo kapena chibwenzi chanu sichidzaona kukula kulikonse. Ngati bwenzi lanu likunena kuti watopa ndi maganizo, ndiye kuti mwina akumva kutopa chifukwa chofuna chisamaliro chanu chanthawi zonse.

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7. Kusathetsa kusamvana ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zaubwenzi wosokoneza maganizo

Jayant akuwonjezera kuti: "Mfundo yaikulu ya ubale wachimwemwe iyenera kukhala kunyengerera ndi kukhulupirirana. Koma ngati ubale wanu uli mu mkangano wa mikangano yosatha ndi ndewu, ndiye kuti muli bwino kudabwa ngati kuthetsa chiyanjano chosokoneza maganizo chiyenera kukhala njira yothetsera vutoli. Ubale wabwino uli ndi mavuto ndi ndewu zake zokha.

" Kusalankhulana ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano muubwenzi wachikondi. Ndipo kusadziwa momwe mungamenyane ndiko kumayambitsa mikanganoyo. Kumakulitsa mavuto. Muyenera kumenyana mwachilungamo muukwati kapena muubwenzi, kuti musapweteke munthu amene mumamukonda. Simungagwiritse ntchito mkwiyo ndikubisala kumbuyo kwake kuti mukhale wankhanza komanso wamwano. Pali mwayi woti mungawononge ubalewo kwamuyaya ngati simukudziwa momwe mungamenyane."

8. Zosowa zanu sizikukwaniritsidwa

Jayant akuwonjezera kuti, "Mumafunika kulumikizana, kutsimikiziridwa, kuvomereza, kuyamikiridwa, kukhulupirika, chithandizo, komanso kudzimva kuti ndinu otetezeka muubwenzi. Ngati palibe zofunikirazi zomwe zikukwaniritsidwa, ndiye kuti n'zosadabwitsa kuti mukutopa ndi chibwenzi.

"N'chifukwa chiyani zosowa zanu ziyenera kunyalanyazidwa kapena chifukwa chiyani ziyenera kukhala zachiwiri? Sizabwino. Zosowa zanu ziyenera kuonedwa ngati zofunika mofanana. Zimafunika anthu awiri kuti ubale ukhale wogwirizana . Ngati izi zipitirira, mudzayamba kudana ndi mnzanu. Padzakhala mkwiyo waukulu kwa iwo. Ukafika pa siteji ya chidani, zimakhala zovuta kutulukamo."

9. Simukudzizindikiranso

Jayant anati: “Mukakhala paubwenzi wotopetsa maganizo, mudzataya umunthu wanu ndi umunthu wanu.Simudzadzipeza nokha pamene mukuyesera kuwasunga kukhala okhutiritsa ndi achimwemwe. Zolinga zanu ndi zikhumbo zanu zakufa.Simumayesetsa kuzikwaniritsa chifukwa mphamvu zanu zonse, nthawi, ndi zoyesayesa zanu zonse zikuwonongeka kuti ubale wanu ukhale wolimba.

Zimakhala zosiyana ngati wokondedwa wanu akuyesera kuti mukhale osangalala komanso amasamala za zosowa zanu. Koma ngati iwo sali, ndiye inunso simuyenera kutero. Mumachitira limodzi kapena simumachita konse. Ngati potsiriza, mutatha kupyola kwambiri, simungaleke kuganiza za ubale woterewu, ndiye zikuwonekeratu kuti simungathe kuzitenganso.

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Jayant akuti, "Choyamba chomwe muyenera kudziwa chokhudza kukhala ndi munthu amene amakuvutitsani maganizo ndi momwe amakonderana naye. Ngati chifukwa chachikulu cha kutopa kwanu ndi kusadzidalira kwake , ndiye kuti mutha kukambirana za izi ndikuthetsa vutoli. Ubwenzi uyenera kukuthandizani kukhala ndi chimwemwe chomwe muli nacho kale.

Ngati chimwemwe chanu chomwe chilipo chazimiririka pamodzi ndi chisangalalo ndi chisangalalo chomwe wokondedwa wanu akuyenera kubweretsa muubwenzi, ndiye nthawi yoti muyang'ane mavuto ndikuwakonza. Bwanji? M'munsimu muli njira zina zochiritsira ku chiyanjano chosokoneza maganizo.

1. Atsutseni pa izi

Pitani kwa mnzanu. Auzeni momveka bwino komanso momveka bwino momwe mungathere. Jayant akulangiza kuti: “Umenewu ndi ukwati/unansi wosokoneza maganizo. Pokhapokha ndiponso mpaka mutaulula kuti chinachake chikukusoŵetsani mtendere, nthaŵi zonse mumakakamira popanda njira yothetsera vutolo. Munayamba kukondana ndi mnzanuyo chifukwa chakuti anakusonyezani kuti mungathe kuwakhulupirira ndi kukhala nawo pachiswe.

2. Kupereka uphungu kwa maanja

Jayant akuti, “Ngati simunathe kupeza mayankho a mavuto anu koma chibwenzi chanu chikumati chatopa, ndiye kuti uphungu wa maanja uyenera kukhala njira yanu yoyenera. Uzani mlangizi wanu kuti, “Ubale wanga ukundivuta.” Adzazindikira vuto lobisika ndikuthandizani kupeza yankho lomwe mukufuna ndipo ngati mukufuna thandizo la akatswiri, gulu la alangizi odziwa bwino ntchito la Bonobology lili pafupi nanu.

3. Dziwani kuti nonse muyenera kunyengerera mofanana

Kulekererana ndiye maziko a mavuto ambiri. Jayant akuti, "Onse awiri omwe ali muubwenzi ayenera kumvetsetsa ndikugwirizana pa kusankha ubale wabwino. Nonse mwavulala komanso mwavulala. Musanapange chisankho chilichonse chovuta, yesani kuchira ku ubale wovuta maganizo mwa kumenyana nkhondo zanu imodzi ndi imodzi. Ngati pali mavuto zana, simungathe kulimbana nawo onse nthawi imodzi. Chitani zinthu mwanzeru. Kumenyana muubwenzi n'kofala koma menyerani chikondi osati mnzanu."

Musanadumphire kumapeto ndikuganiza zothetsa chibwenzi chokhumudwitsa, tengani njira ziwiri ndikuwunika ngati mwayika zoyembekezera zambiri pa iwo. Dzifunseni nokha ngati munthuyu ali ndi mphamvu zogwira ntchito pomwe akuyembekezera zinthu zomwe sizingachitike? Ngati ndi choncho, ndiye kuti palibe vuto kutsitsa zoyembekezera zanu zachikondi. Koma ngati ndi chinthu chimodzi chomwe simungathe kunyengerera, ndiye kuti mwina ndi nthawi yoti musiyane. Dzipulumutseni nokha ndi mnzanu zopweteka kuchokera ku ndewu zonse zopanda malire ndi mikangano.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.