Palibe amene amalowa m'banja akuganiza kuti chitha ndi chisudzulo. Koma ngati banja likutha ndipo mukuganiza kuti sizikugwiranso ntchito ndiye kuti malangizo othetsa banja atha kukhala chidziwitso chofunikira kwambiri chomwe mungafune.
Pali anthu ambiri omwe ali okonzeka ndi upangiri wa chisudzulo mukayambanso moyo wanu. Koma ndi anthu ochepa chabe amene angabwere ndi malangizo oyenerera othetsa banja kwa akazi pamene akulingalira ndikukonzekera kuwauza amuna awo kuti akufuna kukwatira. Mndandanda wokonzekera chisudzulo, ngati mungathe.
Ngakhale musanaulule zolinga zanu zachisudzulo kwa mwamuna wanu, ana ndi makolo anu, muyenera kukhala okonzeka. Mothandizidwa ndi phungu Siddhartha Mishra (BA, LLB), loya yemwe amagwira ntchito ku Khoti Lalikulu Kwambiri ku India, tiyeni tione mmene mungakonzekerere chisudzulo mwamaganizo musanalembe n’komwe.
Kodi Mayi Ayenera Kukonzekera Bwanji Chisudzulo?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Pamene mukukonzekera chisudzulo ngati mkazi, dziwani kuti kusankha kukoka banja lomwe silikubweretsanso chimwemwe sichinthu chomwe muyenera kudzimenya nokha. Musalole kuti chisudzulo chikhazikike ndikukupangitsani kuti muganizirenso zomwe mwasankha. Ndizofala kuposa momwe mungaganizire popeza akazi tsopano amasulidwa kwambiri ndikuzindikira kuti kukhala mu a maubale oopsa kwenikweni ndi chilango cha imfa.
Siddhartha akuti, “Chisudzulo chafala kwambiri m’moyo wamakono; sichilinso chinsinsi chochititsa manyazi monga kale.
Mukaganiza kuti ndi nthawi yoti mupite padera, muyenera kukonzekera musanayambe kudumpha. Zokonzekera izi sizichitika tsiku limodzi. Kuti mukonzekere kusudzulana mwamalingaliro, mungafunike kulikonse pakati pa miyezi 5-6 kutengera momwe zinthu zikukuchitikirani.
Chinthu choyamba ndi chofunika kwambiri chimene muyenera kuganizira ndi kukhazikika kwanu pazachuma pambuyo pa kusudzulana. Muyenera kuganizira momwe mungasiyire mwamuna wanu wopanda ndalama mukakonzekera mwachinsinsi chisudzulo. Thandizo lazachuma ndi kukhazikika kungabwere kuchokera pakubweza kapena ndalama zomwe mwasunga ndi zopeza, koma upangiri wathu wachisudzulo kwa amayi uyenera kukhazikika pazachuma.
Ndikofunikira bwanji kukonzekera chisudzulo ndi ndalama tingaone kuti pakati pa 2011 mpaka 2015, milandu 15,000 yasamutsidwa ku makhoti osiyanasiyana a mabanja, kupatula milandu yatsopano. Chiwerengero chachikulu cha milandu ndi yosamalira komanso yokhudzana ndi alimony, malinga ndi Siddhartha. Pamene mukukonzekera chisudzulo nazi zinthu zingapo zomwe muyenera kuziganizira:
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1. Ndi nkhondo yayitali m'tsogolo
Kaya mukupita kukathetsana kapena kukangana kukhothi, muyenera kuthana ndi kupweteka kwa chisudzulo. Njira yachisudzulo ndi njira yanthawi yayitali yomwe imafunikira zolemba zambiri zalamulo ndipo padzakhala zopinga zomwe muyenera kuthana nazo.
Kuthetsa ukwati kungakhale njira yolemetsa komanso yotopetsa. Siddhartha akuti, “Litengereni tsiku limodzi panthaŵi imodzi. Lingalirani za panopa osati zam’mbuyo. Yesetsani kulamulira zinthu zokhazo zimene ziri m’manja mwanu.
Izi zimagwira ntchito ngati upangiri wofunikira kwambiri pakusudzulana kwa amayi. Zitha kuwoneka ngati mukudumphadumpha kuposa momwe mungathere, koma ndikofunikira kuti muzichita chinthu chimodzi panthawi, tsiku limodzi.
2. Sungani zolemba zanu
Ngati mukutsimikiza inu amafuna chisudzulo, upangiri wathu wofunikira kwambiri wakusudzulana kwa amayi ndikusunga zolemba. Muyenera kulemba zonse zomwe muyenera kuchita tsiku ndi tsiku kuti mukonzekere chisudzulo. Chongani ntchitoyo ikatha.
Nthawi zambiri pamakhala zambiri zoti muchite kuti kuyesa kuthana ndi kusudzulana chifukwa mkazi angakulepheretseni kukhala otopa, makamaka ngati mukulimbana ndi ntchito ndi ntchito zapakhomo komanso kusamalira ana. Kukhala mwadongosolo ndiye kubetcha kwanu kwabwino kwambiri, ndipo imodzi mwamaupangiri abwino kwambiri osudzulana omwe mungagwiritse ntchito.
3. Malangizo ofunikira othetsa banja kwa amayi: Yambitsani chisudzulo
Mutha kukhala ndi fayilo pomwe mumasunga zikalata zonse zomwe mungafune panthawi yachisudzulo. Izi ndizofunikira kwambiri kuti muchepetse zolembedwa. Komanso, sungani chikwatu pa laputopu yanu, kapena pangani fayilo ya Google Doc, kapena gwiritsani ntchito mapulogalamu omwe mungathe kupeza zolemba zanu pa intaneti.
Zachidziwikire, izi ziyenera kuchitidwa mogwirizana ndi upangiri wa loya wanthawi yayitali wothetsa mabanja. Popanda chithandizo choyenera chazamalamulo, mutha kudzipeza kuti mukutaya chitsogozo ndi chitsogozo choyenera. Chimodzi mwa malangizo ofunikira kwambiri a chisudzulo kwa amayi, kapena aliyense, pankhaniyi, ndi kukhala ndi chitsogozo choyenera.
4. Konzekerani ndalama za chisudzulo mwa kupanga bajeti
Sungani maakaunti a ndalama zomwe mumapeza ndikugwiritsa ntchito kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi kuti mudziwe za bajeti yomwe mungafunikire kuti mukhale ndi moyo mukakhala nokha. Inu mukhoza kukhala kale kuthana ndi mavuto azachuma, cholinga chanu chiyenera kukhala momwe mungatulukiremo.
Ngati mukukonzekera kuti ana anu azikhala ndi inu, ganizirani ndalama zawo. Bajeti ikakhazikitsidwa, mudzadziwa mtundu wa chithandizo chandalama chomwe mudzafune kuchokera kwa mwamuna wanu. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zigawo zofunika kwambiri za malangizo a chisudzulo kwa amayi.
Siddhartha akuwonjezera kuti: “Pamene mukukonzekera chisudzulo mwandalama, kumbukirani kuti polemba ndi kulemba ntchito loya ndalama zanu zidzapsa msanga kuposa mmene mukudziŵira.
5. Samalani ndi e-trail yanu
Zomwe mumalemba pamasamba ochezera, tumizani uthenga kwa anzanu pa WhatsApp kapena omwe mumatumizira maimelo onse akhoza kukhala ndi chokhudza chisudzulo. Choncho, samalani pa izo. Ngakhale zinthu zomwe zimawoneka ngati zopanda vuto kapena zosalakwa zimatha kutsekereza chikwama chopanda madzi ndikuwongolera mamba mokomera mnzanu.
Zomwe mumagawana pazama TV zitha kugwiritsidwa ntchito motsutsana nanu pakusudzulana. Chenjerani ndi kupanga data pa foni yanu. Amuna ambiri amene amasudzulana amagwiritsira ntchito mapulogalamu aukazitape kuti adziŵe mmene akazi awo akuyendera.
Siddhartha akulangiza kuti, "Ndikofunikira kwambiri kuletsa kulankhulana kwamtundu uliwonse, makalata, mafoni. nkhanza paubwenzi wanu. "
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6. Malangizo othetsa banja kwa amayi: Pangani njira yothandizira
Chinthu choyamba chomusiya mwamuna wanu ndicho kupanga chithandizo. Kaya mukuvutika ndi yankho la 'mmene mungasiyire mwamuna wanu wopanda ndalama' kapena mukungochita masewera ovutitsa maganizo, kukhala ndi anthu obwerera kungathandize kwambiri.
Padzakhala anthu ambiri omwe adzabwera ndikukupatsani upangiri wosafunikira wokhudza momwe chisudzulo chimakhalira kwa mkazi, koma padzakhala abwenzi ochepa "2 AM". Chotsani anthu amphuno, a parasitic m'moyo wanu ndipo ingoyang'anani kwa anthu omwe mungathe kutembenukira kuti akuthandizeni - kaya ndalama kapena maganizo.
Kodi Ufulu Wa Mkazi Akamasudzulana Ndi Chiyani?
Chisudzulo ku US chili pansi pa malamulo a boma osati malamulo a federal. Chifukwa chake malamulo ndi maufulu ena amasiyana malinga ndi boma, koma apa tikuyika pamodzi maufulu omwe mkazi amakhala nawo akamasudzulana:
- Atha kusankha kusudzulana popanda chifukwa chilichonse pamene kuthetsedwa kwaukwati kungachitike chifukwa chakusemphana muukwati wanu kapena kusiyana kosagwirizana ndipo palibe zoneneza kapena zolakwa zomwe zimakhudzidwa.
- Atha kusankha chisudzulo chapamlandu pamene milandu ikukhudzidwa ndipo onse angafunike loya wowateteza
- Azimayi ambiri akupita kuchisudzulo chogwirizana kumene, mothandizidwa ndi loya ndi mphunzitsi wothetsa chisudzulo, atha kutenga zisankho zanzeru zachisudzulo.
- Azimayi ena amasankhanso kusudzulana kwa mkhalapakati kapena kusudzulana mwachidule
- Maiko amafuna kuti mukhale m'boma kwa nthawi yosachepera milungu isanu ndi umodzi mpaka miyezi isanu ndi umodzi kuti mupereke chisudzulo kuchokera kuderali.
- Mtundu wa ufulu wa katundu womwe mudzakhala nawo zimatengera dziko lomwe muli. Mayiko ena ku US amagwirizana ndi dongosolo la katundu wa anthu pamene banja litatha, katunduyo amagawidwa mofanana pakati pa okwatirana.
- Ali ndi ufulu wopeza ndalama zothandizira banja ngati alibe ndalama zokwanira kapena kusiya ntchito yake kuti azisamalira banja
- Akhoza kusankha yekha kulera mwana kapena kusankha zochita kusungidwa pamodzi
Langizo lachisudzulo kwa amayi limadalira munthu ndi munthu, boma ndi boma. Zomwe zili zabwino kwa inu zimatengera momwe mumakhalira, kutengera zinthu zambirimbiri monga banja lanu, komwe muli komanso momwe mulili. Komabe, kumvetsetsa zomwe mkazi ayenera kudziwa asanapereke chisudzulo ndikofunikira nthawi zonse. Tiyeni tione mfundo zingapo zoti tizikumbukira.
Malangizo 10 Ofunika Othetsa Chisudzulo Kwa Amayi
Mukaganiza kuti nthawi yoti musudzulane yakwana, chinthu choyamba chimene mungachite kuti musiyane ndi mwamuna wanu ndi kukonzekera mndandanda wa chisudzulo. Uwu ndiye upangiri wathu wofunikira kwambiri pakusudzulana kwa amayi. Ngati mukupita kuchisudzulo chamkhalapakati, mutha kugwiranso ntchito pa mndandanda wa chigwirizano cha chisudzulo.
Ngati mukonzekera mndandanda wa chisudzulo mosamala ndiye kuti mumamveka bwino m'mutu mwanu zomwe mukufuna, zomwe muyenera kuchita komanso zomwe muli nazo zofooka kapena zolimba ngati chisudzulo chotsutsidwa. Ngakhale kuti mwina mumalandira upangiri wa chisudzulo kwaulere kwa anzanu ndi mabwenzi, zoyesayesa zawo zakukuthandizani zimachokera makamaka pa zokumana nazo zomwe adakumana nazo. Tinaphatikiza upangiri waupangiri wachisudzulo kwa amayi, wovomerezedwa ndi loya.
1. Pezani loya wabwino
Kulipira ndalama za loya wanu kudzera m'mphuno sikukutanthauza kuti mupeza zabwino kwambiri. Lingaliro labwino lingakhale kufunsa mozungulira ndikupeza kuchokera kwa anthu momwe iwo aliri okhutitsidwa ndi zoyesayesa za loya wawo pa nthawi ya chisudzulo ndiyeno kupanga chosankha.
Ndibwino kutchula maloya osachepera atatu kapena asanu omwe njira zawo, machitidwe awo ndi zolemba zakale zimagwirizana ndi zolinga zanu. Nthawi zonse muzikumbukira kukumana nawo pamasom'pamaso musanamalize chilichonse. Yandikirani izi ngati kuyankhulana kuti musankhe munthu wabwino kwambiri pantchitoyo, makamaka ngati mukuyesera kukonzekera mwachinsinsi chisudzulo. Momwe loya wanu wosudzulana alili, njira yanu idzakhala yovuta kwambiri.
2. Yang'anani pa chuma chanu
Chilichonse chomwe chingakhale chifukwa chakusudzulana kwanu Langizo lathu lachisudzulo kwa akazi ndikuti tichite izi munjira zitatu. Sungani, bajeti ndi kugawa. Ngati mukukonzekera kusudzulana mwachinsinsi, ndikofunikira kuti muyambe kusunga ndalama kuyambira pomwe mwapanga malingaliro anu. Pangani bajeti yopulumuka kuti muthane ndi kusudzulana ngati mkazi, popanda moyo wanu wonse kuthetsedwa. Perekani ndalama zanu molingana ndi bajeti.
Muyenera kuganizira chindapusa cha loya komanso chindapusa chalamulo. Siddhartha anati: “Chomwe mkazi ayenera kudziwa asanasudzulane n’chakuti adzafunika masitetimenti ake azachuma, choncho ndi bwino kukhala okonzeka.
"Muzifotokoza momveka bwino zomwe muli ndi ngongole ndi zomwe mwasonkhanitsa. Izi zikuphatikizapo chirichonse kuchokera ku ngongole zanu mpaka ngongole ndi katundu. Izi zikutanthauza kusonkhanitsa masitetimeti a kubanki, masitetimenti a ngongole yanyumba, maakaunti oikapo ndalama, maakaunti opuma pantchito, zikalata zangongole, zobweza msonkho, ndi zina zotero."
Ngati chikhalidwe chochuluka cha upangiri wa chisudzulo kwa amayi chikukupanikizani, ndikofunika kupeza thandizo pamene mukuganiza kuti mukufuna. Kupita nokha, makamaka pamene mukufuna kukonzekera mwachinsinsi chisudzulo sizikutanthauza kuti inu kudzimana chithandizo chimene mudzafuna.
3. Konzekerani chisudzulo ndi ndalama
Anthu ambiri okwatirana amakhala ndi maakaunti ophatikizana komanso ndalama zomwe amagawana. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuti muyambe kuchitapo kanthu pokonzekera ndalama zachisudzulo.
Chinthu choyamba chiyenera kukhala kukhala ndi akaunti yanu ndipo mukhoza kutenga gawo lanu la ndalama mu akaunti yanu yolumikizana ndikuyika mu akaunti yanu yosungira. Mutha kutseka kapena kuyimitsa akaunti yanu yolumikizana ngati mukufuna.
Funsani thandizo kwa anzanu ndi achibale odalirika, kapena ngati mungathe, gwiritsani ntchito mlangizi wa zachuma kuti afotokoze njira yabwino yochitira.
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4. Khalani ndi kirediti kadi yanuyanu
ngati ndondomeko zachuma m'banja lanu sizinali zazikulu kwambiri, zipangitsa zotchinga pang'ono, kuziyika mofatsa. Nthawi zina okwatirana amakhala ndi makhadi angongole omwe amawononga ndikubweza kuchokera kuakaunti yawo yolumikizana. Ndiye ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akuwononga ndalama zambiri, ndiye kuti mukulipira. Langizo lofunika kwambiri lachisudzulo kwa amayi omwe akhala amayi apakhomo ndikuwonetsetsa kuti mukuwongolera ndalama zanu.
Kukhala ndi kirediti kadi yanu kungakuthandizeni kupeza ngongole yanu ndipo izi zitha kukhala zothandiza ngati mungafunike kuzipereka kukhothi. Muyenera kuthetsa nkhani pa lipoti la ngongole ndipo mutha kusankhanso ntchito yowunikira ngongole pazimenezi.
5. Sankhani wosankha
Ngati chinachake chingakuchitikireni panthawi ya chisudzulo kapena pambuyo pake, mukhoza kusankha wina kuti akuchitireni zosankha. Zili ngati kulowa chikomokere pambuyo pa ngozi ndipo wina ayenera kukhala ndi ulamuliro wosankha kukuchotserani chithandizo chamoyo.
Komanso, ngati chisudzulo chitatha, chilichonse chimachitika kwa inu ndipo ndinu nokha wosamalira ana omwe muyenera kusankha wina kuti akhale ndi ulamuliro pa iwo mpaka atakwanitsa zaka 18. Ngati ana anu ali ndi godmother kapena godparents, iwo mwachibadwa adzakhala chisankho chanu choyamba. Ngati sichoncho, mutha kutembenukira kwa mabwenzi odalirika kapena achibale kuti mukhale chithandizo chofunikira m'moyo pambuyo pa kusudzulana kwa mkazi.
6. Wopindula ndi inshuwalansi ndi chifuniro
Pamene mukukonzekera chisudzulo monga mkazi, mwakwatiwabe mwalamulo ndi mwamuna wanu, ngakhale kuti mwamaganizo mungakhale mutasuntha. Ino ndi nthawi yoyenera kuti musiyanitse miyoyo yanu pang'onopang'ono koma pang'onopang'ono. Kusintha opindula ndi inshuwalansi yanu ndi chifuniro ndi poyambira bwino.
Nthawi zambiri, mwamuna kapena mkazi ndi amene amapindula ndi inshuwalansi. Koma pamene mukupita kuchisudzulo mungafune kusintha zimenezo. Onetsetsani kuti mwatero kuti mupewe zovuta pambuyo pake. Koma ngati muli ndi a mgwirizano usanakwatire, ndiye zinthu zambiri zasamalidwa kale.
Momwemonso, ndi bwino kupanga chikalata cha wili cha katundu wanu ndi ndalama zomwe mwasunga, makamaka panthawi yomwe chisudzulo chili mkati. Pa maupangiri ndi njira zonse zakusudzulana, ichi ndi chinthu chomwe nthawi zambiri chimanyalanyazidwa.
7. Sungani kalendala ya chisudzulo
Kusunga kalendala mwina ndi limodzi la malangizo ofunika kwambiri a chisudzulo kwa akazi. Lembani nthawi yokumana kukhoti, tchulani pamene mwamuna wanu sanawonekere kapena kuswa mgwirizano. Lembani zokambirana, misonkhano yoyimira pakati, mphindi za misonkhano ndi oyimira milandu, chilichonse.
Komanso sungani zochitika za kusukulu za ana anu, nthawi yokumana ndi dokotala ndi zina zotero. Zikaperekedwa kukhothi izi zitha kuwonetsa momwe muliri wokonzeka, wokhudzidwa komanso wolunjika. Kusunga kalendala yachisudzulo ndi upangiri wathu wabwino kwambiri wosudzulana kwa amayi, chifukwa zidzakuthandizani kuwongolera ntchito zanu zonse zikawoneka ngati mukuwongolera chilichonse nthawi imodzi.
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8. Osatengeka ndi malingaliro
Ngati ndinu amene mwapanga chisankho chothetsa ukwati, ndiye kuti mwamuna wanu akufuna kukukakamizani kuti mugwire ntchitoyi n’ngofunika kuyembekezera. Akhoza kulumbira kuti asinthe n’kukhala bwino, kapenanso angakuimbe mlandu ponena kuti mukuphwanya nyumba n’kusiya ana ali pachiopsezo. Musalole kuti Chisudzulo chisoni khazikitsani.
Kumbali ina, ngati muli otanganidwa kwambiri muukwati, mungadziŵe ngati mwamuna wanu wasankha kusudzulana.
"Nthawi zambiri, akazi amachititsidwa khungu ndi malingaliro kotero kuti amanyalanyaza chisudzulo chomwe chikubwera, ngakhale atazindikira." Izi zimawasiya osakonzekera ndipo, pamapeto pake, amawononga ndalama ndi maganizo. Moyo wanu udzasintha ndi chisudzulo, kotero onetsetsani kuti mwatsala ndi chithandizo chokwanira chothana ndi zotsatirapo, "anatero Siddhartha.
9. Pezani thandizo la ndalama
Simuli adyera kapena odzikonda ngati mukufuna thandizo lazachuma ndi chisamaliro pakusudzulana. M'malo mwake, ngati mwasiya ntchito yanu kuti muganizire za banja lanu, kufunafuna alimony ndi kusamalira ndi ufulu wanu.
Siddhartha anati: “Ngati mwamuna ndi amene amasamalira banja ndipo inuyo ndinu mkazi/mayi wanthaŵi zonse, simungadzichirikize popanda kupitirizabe kuchirikiza ndalama.” Woweruza angalole kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu asamakulire pamilandu yoteroyo.
Monga momwe mungadziwire pofika pano, kukonzekera ndalama za chisudzulo mwina ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pa izi. Kusokonezeka maganizo kumene mungakhale nako kungakuwonongeni Thanzi labwino. Pamene mavuto azachuma atayidwa mu kusakaniza, izo kwenikweni Chinsinsi cha tsoka.
10. Fufuzani lamulo
Pamene mukuyesera kukonzekera kusudzulana mwamaganizo, musaiwale kuwerenganso za izo. Malamulo achisudzulo amasiyana kuchokera kumayiko ena ku US. Kufufuza zamalamulo m’dziko limene mukukhala kudzakuthandizani kumvetsetsa pamene mukuima. Kudziwa ndi mphamvu ndipo kudzakuthandizani kwambiri mukalankhula ndi loya wanu ndikuyendetsa makhothi.
Mfundo ndi yakuti, n’kosavuta kukwatira kusiyana ndi kuthetsa banja. Koma pamene vuto likufuna ndipo mukufuna kukonzekera mwachinsinsi chisudzulo, malangizo athu achisudzulo kwa akazi ndikutsatira mfundo zomwe tazitchulazi.
Ngakhale atakhala m’banja lachipongwe lomwe atsala pang’ono kuthawa, zimene chisudzulo chimachitira mkazi chingamulepheretse kufooka m’maganizo ndi m’thupi. Koma ngati akonzekeratu pasadakhale angathe kuthana ndi vutolo. Tikukhulupirira, tsopano simuyenera kudalira upangiri wonse waulele wa chisudzulo womwe mumapeza kuchokera kwa abwenzi ndi abale, ndipo m'malo mwake, pitani kuntchito mothandizidwa ndi mfundo zomwe talemba.
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