Palibe amene amalowa m'banja akuganiza kuti chitha ndi chisudzulo. Koma ngati banja likutha ndipo mukuganiza kuti sizikugwiranso ntchito ndiye kuti malangizo othetsa banja atha kukhala chidziwitso chofunikira kwambiri chomwe mungafune.
Pali anthu ambiri omwe ali okonzeka ndi upangiri wa chisudzulo mukayambanso moyo wanu. Koma ndi anthu ochepa chabe amene angabwere ndi malangizo oyenerera othetsa banja kwa akazi pamene akulingalira ndikukonzekera kuwauza amuna awo kuti akufuna kukwatira. Mndandanda wokonzekera chisudzulo, ngati mungathe.
Ngakhale musanaulule mapulani anu osudzulana kwa mwamuna wanu, ana anu ndi makolo anu, muyenera kukonzekera. Mothandizidwa ndi loya Siddhartha Mishra (BA, LLB), loya wochita ntchito ku Khoti Lalikulu la India, tiyeni tiwone momwe mungakonzekerere kusudzulana mwamaganizo musanalembe.
Kodi Mayi Ayenera Kukonzekera Bwanji Chisudzulo?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Pamene mukukonzekera kusudzulana monga mkazi, dziwani kuti kusankha kusiya ukwati womwe sukukubweretseraninso chimwemwe si chinthu chomwe muyenera kudzivutitsa nacho. Musalole kuti chisoni cha kusudzulana chikulowereni ndikukupangitsani kuganiza kuti mwasankha. Ndizofala kwambiri kuposa momwe mungaganizire popeza akazi tsopano ali omasuka kwambiri ndipo amazindikira kuti kukhalabe muubwenzi woopsa ndi chilango cha imfa.
Siddhartha akuti, “Chisudzulo chafala kwambiri m’moyo wamakono; sichilinso chinsinsi chochititsa manyazi monga kale.
Mukaganiza kuti ndi nthawi yoti mupite padera, muyenera kukonzekera musanayambe kudumpha. Zokonzekera izi sizichitika tsiku limodzi. Kuti mukonzekere kusudzulana mwamalingaliro, mungafunike kulikonse pakati pa miyezi 5-6 kutengera momwe zinthu zikukuchitikirani.
Chinthu choyamba ndi chofunika kwambiri chimene muyenera kuganizira ndi kukhazikika kwanu pazachuma pambuyo pa kusudzulana. Muyenera kuganizira momwe mungasiyire mwamuna wanu wopanda ndalama mukakonzekera mwachinsinsi chisudzulo. Thandizo lazachuma ndi kukhazikika kungabwere kuchokera pakubweza kapena ndalama zomwe mwasunga ndi zopeza, koma upangiri wathu wachisudzulo kwa amayi uyenera kukhazikika pazachuma.
Ndikofunikira bwanji kukonzekera chisudzulo ndi ndalama tingaone kuti pakati pa 2011 mpaka 2015, milandu 15,000 yasamutsidwa ku makhoti osiyanasiyana a mabanja, kupatula milandu yatsopano. Chiwerengero chachikulu cha milandu ndi yosamalira komanso yokhudzana ndi alimony, malinga ndi Siddhartha. Pamene mukukonzekera chisudzulo nazi zinthu zingapo zomwe muyenera kuziganizira:
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zinthu 15 Zomwe Anthu Osudzulana Ayenera Kudziwa Akayamba Ubwenzi Watsopano
1. Ndi nkhondo yayitali m'tsogolo
Kaya mukufuna mgwirizano kapena muyenera kupita kukhoti, muyenera kukhala okhoza kuthana ndi ululu wa chisudzulo . Ndondomeko yosudzulana ndi njira yayitali yomwe imafuna mapepala ambiri azamalamulo ndipo padzakhala zopinga panjira yomwe muyenera kuthana nayo.
Kuthetsa ukwati kungakhale njira yolemetsa komanso yotopetsa. Siddhartha akuti, “Litengereni tsiku limodzi panthaŵi imodzi. Lingalirani za panopa osati zam’mbuyo. Yesetsani kulamulira zinthu zokhazo zimene ziri m’manja mwanu.
Izi zimagwira ntchito ngati upangiri wofunikira kwambiri pakusudzulana kwa amayi. Zitha kuwoneka ngati mukudumphadumpha kuposa momwe mungathere, koma ndikofunikira kuti muzichita chinthu chimodzi panthawi, tsiku limodzi.
2. Sungani zolemba zanu
Ngati mukutsimikiza kuti mukufuna kusudzulana, upangiri wathu wofunika kwambiri wa kusudzulana kwa akazi ndi kulemba dayalo lanu. Muyenera kulemba zonse zomwe muyenera kuchita tsiku ndi tsiku kuti mukonzekere kusudzulana. Ikani chizindikiro pamene ntchito yatha.
Nthawi zambiri pamakhala zambiri zoti muchite kuti kuyesa kuthana ndi kusudzulana chifukwa mkazi angakulepheretseni kukhala otopa, makamaka ngati mukulimbana ndi ntchito ndi ntchito zapakhomo komanso kusamalira ana. Kukhala mwadongosolo ndiye kubetcha kwanu kwabwino kwambiri, ndipo imodzi mwamaupangiri abwino kwambiri osudzulana omwe mungagwiritse ntchito.
3. Malangizo ofunikira othetsa banja kwa amayi: Yambitsani chisudzulo
Mutha kukhala ndi fayilo pomwe mumasunga zikalata zonse zomwe mungafune panthawi yachisudzulo. Izi ndizofunikira kwambiri kuti muchepetse zolembedwa. Komanso, sungani chikwatu pa laputopu yanu, kapena pangani fayilo ya Google Doc, kapena gwiritsani ntchito mapulogalamu omwe mungathe kupeza zolemba zanu pa intaneti.
Zachidziwikire, izi ziyenera kuchitidwa mogwirizana ndi upangiri wa loya wanthawi yayitali wothetsa mabanja. Popanda chithandizo choyenera chazamalamulo, mutha kudzipeza kuti mukutaya chitsogozo ndi chitsogozo choyenera. Chimodzi mwa malangizo ofunikira kwambiri a chisudzulo kwa amayi, kapena aliyense, pankhaniyi, ndi kukhala ndi chitsogozo choyenera.
4. Konzekerani ndalama za chisudzulo mwa kupanga bajeti
Sungani ndalama zomwe mumapeza komanso ndalama zomwe mumawononga kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi kuti mudziwe bajeti yomwe mudzafunika kuti mupulumuke mukakhala nokha. Mwina muli kale ndi mavuto azachuma , cholinga chanu chiyenera kukhala momwe mungatulukire.
Ngati mukukonzekera kuti ana anu azikhala ndi inu, ganizirani ndalama zawo. Bajeti ikakhazikitsidwa, mudzadziwa mtundu wa chithandizo chandalama chomwe mudzafune kuchokera kwa mwamuna wanu. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zigawo zofunika kwambiri za malangizo a chisudzulo kwa amayi.
Siddhartha akuwonjezera kuti: “Pamene mukukonzekera chisudzulo mwandalama, kumbukirani kuti polemba ndi kulemba ntchito loya ndalama zanu zidzapsa msanga kuposa mmene mukudziŵira.
5. Samalani ndi e-trail yanu
Zomwe mumalemba pamasamba ochezera, tumizani uthenga kwa anzanu pa WhatsApp kapena omwe mumatumizira maimelo onse akhoza kukhala ndi chokhudza chisudzulo. Choncho, samalani pa izo. Ngakhale zinthu zomwe zimawoneka ngati zopanda vuto kapena zosalakwa zimatha kutsekereza chikwama chopanda madzi ndikuwongolera mamba mokomera mnzanu.
Zomwe mumagawana pazama TV zitha kugwiritsidwa ntchito motsutsana nanu pakusudzulana. Chenjerani ndi kupanga data pa foni yanu. Amuna ambiri amene amasudzulana amagwiritsira ntchito mapulogalamu aukazitape kuti adziŵe mmene akazi awo akuyendera.
Siddhartha akulangiza kuti, “Ndikofunikira kulemba mauthenga a mtundu uliwonse, makalata, mafoni. Izi ndi zida zofunika kwambiri zolimbikitsira mlandu wotsutsana ndi mwamunayo makamaka ngati zikusonyeza kuopseza kapena kunyoza muukwati wanu .”
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6. Malangizo othetsa banja kwa amayi: Pangani njira yothandizira
Chinthu choyamba chomusiya mwamuna wanu ndicho kupanga chithandizo. Kaya mukuvutika ndi yankho la 'mmene mungasiyire mwamuna wanu wopanda ndalama' kapena mukungochita masewera ovutitsa maganizo, kukhala ndi anthu obwerera kungathandize kwambiri.
Padzakhala anthu ambiri omwe adzabwera ndikukupatsani upangiri wosafunikira wokhudza momwe chisudzulo chimakhalira kwa mkazi, koma padzakhala abwenzi ochepa "2 AM". Chotsani anthu amphuno, a parasitic m'moyo wanu ndipo ingoyang'anani kwa anthu omwe mungathe kutembenukira kuti akuthandizeni - kaya ndalama kapena maganizo.
Kodi Ufulu Wa Mkazi Akamasudzulana Ndi Chiyani?
Chisudzulo ku US chili pansi pa malamulo a boma osati malamulo a federal. Chifukwa chake malamulo ndi maufulu ena amasiyana malinga ndi boma, koma apa tikuyika pamodzi maufulu omwe mkazi amakhala nawo akamasudzulana:
- Atha kusankha kusudzulana popanda chifukwa chilichonse pamene kuthetsedwa kwaukwati kungachitike chifukwa chakusemphana muukwati wanu kapena kusiyana kosagwirizana ndipo palibe zoneneza kapena zolakwa zomwe zimakhudzidwa.
- Atha kusankha chisudzulo chapamlandu pamene milandu ikukhudzidwa ndipo onse angafunike loya wowateteza
- Azimayi ambiri akupita kuchisudzulo chogwirizana kumene, mothandizidwa ndi loya ndi mphunzitsi wothetsa chisudzulo, atha kutenga zisankho zanzeru zachisudzulo.
- Azimayi ena amasankhanso kusudzulana kwa mkhalapakati kapena kusudzulana mwachidule
- Maiko amafuna kuti mukhale m'boma kwa nthawi yosachepera milungu isanu ndi umodzi mpaka miyezi isanu ndi umodzi kuti mupereke chisudzulo kuchokera kuderali.
- Mtundu wa ufulu wa katundu womwe mudzakhala nawo zimatengera dziko lomwe muli. Mayiko ena ku US amagwirizana ndi dongosolo la katundu wa anthu pamene banja litatha, katunduyo amagawidwa mofanana pakati pa okwatirana.
- Ali ndi ufulu wopeza ndalama zothandizira banja ngati alibe ndalama zokwanira kapena kusiya ntchito yake kuti azisamalira banja
- Akhoza kusankha yekha kulera mwana kapena kusankha zochita kusungidwa pamodzi
Langizo lachisudzulo kwa amayi limadalira munthu ndi munthu, boma ndi boma. Zomwe zili zabwino kwa inu zimatengera momwe mumakhalira, kutengera zinthu zambirimbiri monga banja lanu, komwe muli komanso momwe mulili. Komabe, kumvetsetsa zomwe mkazi ayenera kudziwa asanapereke chisudzulo ndikofunikira nthawi zonse. Tiyeni tione mfundo zingapo zoti tizikumbukira.
Malangizo 10 Ofunika Othetsa Chisudzulo Kwa Amayi
Mukaganiza kuti nthawi yakwana yoti musudzulane, gawo loyamba loti musiye mwamuna wanu ndikukonzekera mndandanda wa zisudzulo. Uwu ndiye upangiri wathu wofunika kwambiri kwa akazi pa chisudzulo. Ngati mukufuna kusudzulana pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi, ndiye kuti mutha kugwiranso ntchito pamndandanda wa zisudzulo pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi.
Ngati mukonzekera mndandanda wa chisudzulo mosamala ndiye kuti mumamveka bwino m'mutu mwanu zomwe mukufuna, zomwe muyenera kuchita komanso zomwe muli nazo zofooka kapena zolimba ngati chisudzulo chotsutsidwa. Ngakhale kuti mwina mumalandira upangiri wa chisudzulo kwaulere kwa anzanu ndi mabwenzi, zoyesayesa zawo zakukuthandizani zimachokera makamaka pa zokumana nazo zomwe adakumana nazo. Tinaphatikiza upangiri waupangiri wachisudzulo kwa amayi, wovomerezedwa ndi loya.
1. Pezani loya wabwino
Kulipira ndalama za loya wanu kudzera m'mphuno sikukutanthauza kuti mupeza zabwino kwambiri. Lingaliro labwino lingakhale kufunsa mozungulira ndikupeza kuchokera kwa anthu momwe iwo aliri okhutitsidwa ndi zoyesayesa za loya wawo pa nthawi ya chisudzulo ndiyeno kupanga chosankha.
Ndibwino kutchula maloya osachepera atatu kapena asanu omwe njira zawo, machitidwe awo ndi zolemba zakale zimagwirizana ndi zolinga zanu. Nthawi zonse muzikumbukira kukumana nawo pamasom'pamaso musanamalize chilichonse. Yandikirani izi ngati kuyankhulana kuti musankhe munthu wabwino kwambiri pantchitoyo, makamaka ngati mukuyesera kukonzekera mwachinsinsi chisudzulo. Momwe loya wanu wosudzulana alili, njira yanu idzakhala yovuta kwambiri.
2. Yang'anani pa chuma chanu
Kaya chifukwa cha chisudzulo chanu ndi chiyani , upangiri wathu kwa akazi woti achite izi m'njira zitatu. Sungani ndalama, sungani bajeti ndikugawa. Ngati mukukonzekera mwachinsinsi kusudzulana, ndikofunikira kuti muyambe kusunga ndalama kuyambira nthawi yomwe mwasankha. Pangani bajeti yoti mupulumuke kuti muthe kuthana ndi chisudzulo monga mkazi, popanda kuwononga moyo wanu wonse. Gawani ndalama zomwe mwasunga malinga ndi bajeti.
Muyenera kuganizira chindapusa cha loya komanso chindapusa chalamulo. Siddhartha anati: “Chomwe mkazi ayenera kudziwa asanasudzulane n’chakuti adzafunika masitetimenti ake azachuma, choncho ndi bwino kukhala okonzeka.
"Muzifotokoza momveka bwino zomwe muli ndi ngongole ndi zomwe mwasonkhanitsa. Izi zikuphatikizapo chirichonse kuchokera ku ngongole zanu mpaka ngongole ndi katundu. Izi zikutanthauza kusonkhanitsa masitetimeti a kubanki, masitetimenti a ngongole yanyumba, maakaunti oikapo ndalama, maakaunti opuma pantchito, zikalata zangongole, zobweza msonkho, ndi zina zotero."
Ngati chikhalidwe chochuluka cha upangiri wa chisudzulo kwa amayi chikukupanikizani, ndikofunika kupeza thandizo pamene mukuganiza kuti mukufuna. Kupita nokha, makamaka pamene mukufuna kukonzekera mwachinsinsi chisudzulo sizikutanthauza kuti inu kudzimana chithandizo chimene mudzafuna.
3. Konzekerani chisudzulo ndi ndalama
Anthu ambiri okwatirana amakhala ndi maakaunti ophatikizana komanso ndalama zomwe amagawana. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuti muyambe kuchitapo kanthu pokonzekera ndalama zachisudzulo.
Chinthu choyamba chiyenera kukhala kukhala ndi akaunti yanu ndipo mukhoza kutenga gawo lanu la ndalama mu akaunti yanu yolumikizana ndikuyika mu akaunti yanu yosungira. Mutha kutseka kapena kuyimitsa akaunti yanu yolumikizana ngati mukufuna.
Funsani thandizo kwa anzanu ndi achibale odalirika, kapena ngati mungathe, gwiritsani ntchito mlangizi wa zachuma kuti afotokoze njira yabwino yochitira.
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4. Khalani ndi kirediti kadi yanuyanu
Ngati kukonzekera zachuma muukwati wanu sikunali kwakukulu kwambiri, kungayambitse zopinga zingapo, mwachidule. Nthawi zina okwatirana amakhala ndi makadi a ngongole ogwirizana komwe amawononga ndalama ndikubweza kuchokera ku maakaunti awo ogwirizana. Chifukwa chake ngati mnzanu akugwiritsa ntchito ndalama mopitirira muyeso, mukulipirira. Malangizo ofunikira pakusudzulana kwa amayi omwe akhala amayi apakhomo ndikuwonetsetsa kuti mukuwongolera ndalama zanu.
Kukhala ndi kirediti kadi yanu kungakuthandizeni kupeza ngongole yanu ndipo izi zitha kukhala zothandiza ngati mungafunike kuzipereka kukhothi. Muyenera kuthetsa nkhani pa lipoti la ngongole ndipo mutha kusankhanso ntchito yowunikira ngongole pazimenezi.
5. Sankhani wosankha
Ngati chinachake chingakuchitikireni panthawi ya chisudzulo kapena pambuyo pake, mukhoza kusankha wina kuti akuchitireni zosankha. Zili ngati kulowa chikomokere pambuyo pa ngozi ndipo wina ayenera kukhala ndi ulamuliro wosankha kukuchotserani chithandizo chamoyo.
Komanso, ngati chisudzulo chitatha, chilichonse chimachitika kwa inu ndipo ndinu nokha wosamalira ana omwe muyenera kusankha wina kuti akhale ndi ulamuliro pa iwo mpaka atakwanitsa zaka 18. Ngati ana anu ali ndi godmother kapena godparents, iwo mwachibadwa adzakhala chisankho chanu choyamba. Ngati sichoncho, mutha kutembenukira kwa mabwenzi odalirika kapena achibale kuti mukhale chithandizo chofunikira m'moyo pambuyo pa kusudzulana kwa mkazi.
6. Wopindula ndi inshuwalansi ndi chifuniro
Pamene mukukonzekera chisudzulo monga mkazi, mwakwatiwabe mwalamulo ndi mwamuna wanu, ngakhale kuti mwamaganizo mungakhale mutasuntha. Ino ndi nthawi yoyenera kuti musiyanitse miyoyo yanu pang'onopang'ono koma pang'onopang'ono. Kusintha opindula ndi inshuwalansi yanu ndi chifuniro ndi poyambira bwino.
Kawirikawiri, mkazi kapena mwamuna ndiye amapindula ndi inshuwalansi. Koma mukafuna kusudzulana muyenera kusintha zimenezo. Onetsetsani kuti mwachita izi kuti mupewe mavuto pambuyo pake. Koma ngati munapangana mgwirizano musanakwatirane , ndiye kuti zinthu zambiri zakonzedwa kale.
Momwemonso, ndi bwino kupanga chikalata cha wili cha katundu wanu ndi ndalama zomwe mwasunga, makamaka panthawi yomwe chisudzulo chili mkati. Pa maupangiri ndi njira zonse zakusudzulana, ichi ndi chinthu chomwe nthawi zambiri chimanyalanyazidwa.
7. Sungani kalendala ya chisudzulo
Kusunga kalendala mwina ndi limodzi la malangizo ofunika kwambiri a chisudzulo kwa akazi. Lembani nthawi yokumana kukhoti, tchulani pamene mwamuna wanu sanawonekere kapena kuswa mgwirizano. Lembani zokambirana, misonkhano yoyimira pakati, mphindi za misonkhano ndi oyimira milandu, chilichonse.
Komanso sungani zochitika za kusukulu za ana anu, nthawi yokumana ndi dokotala ndi zina zotero. Zikaperekedwa kukhothi izi zitha kuwonetsa momwe muliri wokonzeka, wokhudzidwa komanso wolunjika. Kusunga kalendala yachisudzulo ndi upangiri wathu wabwino kwambiri wosudzulana kwa amayi, chifukwa zidzakuthandizani kuwongolera ntchito zanu zonse zikawoneka ngati mukuwongolera chilichonse nthawi imodzi.
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8. Osatengeka ndi malingaliro
Ngati ndinu amene mwasankha kuthetsa ukwati, ndiye kuti mwamuna wanu amene akufuna kukulimbikitsani kuti muchite izi ndi kuyembekezera. Angalumbire kuti asintha ndikukhala bwino, kapena angakugwetseni m'mavuto ponena kuti mukuwononga banja ndikusiya ana ali pachiwopsezo. Musalole kuti chisoni cha kusudzulana chiyambe.
Kumbali ina, ngati muli otanganidwa kwambiri muukwati, mungadziŵe ngati mwamuna wanu wasankha kusudzulana.
"Nthawi zambiri, akazi amachititsidwa khungu ndi malingaliro kotero kuti amanyalanyaza chisudzulo chomwe chikubwera, ngakhale atazindikira." Izi zimawasiya osakonzekera ndipo, pamapeto pake, amawononga ndalama ndi maganizo. Moyo wanu udzasintha ndi chisudzulo, kotero onetsetsani kuti mwatsala ndi chithandizo chokwanira chothana ndi zotsatirapo, "anatero Siddhartha.
9. Pezani thandizo la ndalama
Simuli adyera kapena odzikonda ngati mukufuna thandizo lazachuma ndi chisamaliro pakusudzulana. M'malo mwake, ngati mwasiya ntchito yanu kuti muganizire za banja lanu, kufunafuna alimony ndi kusamalira ndi ufulu wanu.
Siddhartha anati: “Ngati mwamuna ndi amene amasamalira banja ndipo inuyo ndinu mkazi/mayi wanthaŵi zonse, simungadzichirikize popanda kupitirizabe kuchirikiza ndalama.” Woweruza angalole kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu asamakulire pamilandu yoteroyo.
Monga momwe mungadziwire panopa, kukonzekera zandalama zosudzulana mwina ndiye chinthu chofunikira kwambiri pa izi. Mavuto amaganizo omwe mudzakumana nawo angakhudze thanzi lanu la maganizo . Mavuto azachuma akayamba kusokonekera, kwenikweni ndi njira yobweretsera tsoka.
10. Fufuzani lamulo
Pamene mukuyesera kukonzekera kusudzulana mwamaganizo, musaiwale kuwerenganso za izo. Malamulo achisudzulo amasiyana kuchokera kumayiko ena ku US. Kufufuza zamalamulo m’dziko limene mukukhala kudzakuthandizani kumvetsetsa pamene mukuima. Kudziwa ndi mphamvu ndipo kudzakuthandizani kwambiri mukalankhula ndi loya wanu ndikuyendetsa makhothi.
Mfundo ndi yakuti, n’kosavuta kukwatira kusiyana ndi kuthetsa banja. Koma pamene vuto likufuna ndipo mukufuna kukonzekera mwachinsinsi chisudzulo, malangizo athu achisudzulo kwa akazi ndikutsatira mfundo zomwe tazitchulazi.
Ngakhale atakhala m’banja lachipongwe lomwe atsala pang’ono kuthawa, zimene chisudzulo chimachitira mkazi chingamulepheretse kufooka m’maganizo ndi m’thupi. Koma ngati akonzekeratu pasadakhale angathe kuthana ndi vutolo. Tikukhulupirira, tsopano simuyenera kudalira upangiri wonse waulele wa chisudzulo womwe mumapeza kuchokera kwa abwenzi ndi abale, ndipo m'malo mwake, pitani kuntchito mothandizidwa ndi mfundo zomwe talemba.
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