Momwe Mungapangire Pambuyo Pankhondo

Kulumikizananso pambuyo pa nkhondo kungakhale chochitika chakumwamba. Tikhulupirireni. Kumenyana kungapangitse anthu awiri kukhala ogwirizana kwambiri. Kupsompsona ndi kukumbatirana ndi kupepesa komwe kumabwera pambuyo pa ndewu kumakhala ndi mphamvu zambiri zolimbitsa ubale. Ndicho chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuika maganizo enieni pa momwe mungapangire pambuyo pa ndewu. Momwe mumapangira mutakangana ndi chibwenzi chanu kapena bwenzi lanu zimanena zambiri za momwe mukufuna kuti ubale wanu uchitike. 

Mabanja ena amatalikirana kwambiri akamenyana. Ena amanjenjemera kwa masiku ambiri ndipo ena amachokapo kuti akapeze mpumulo ku kukuwa ndi kukangana. Ngakhale kuyankha kwa munthu aliyense pachiwonetsero chosasangalatsa ndi SO yawo kumatha kusiyanasiyana, chowonadi ndichoti ndewu ndizosapeweka muubwenzi uliwonse. Koma momwe mumakhalira mutamenyana ndizomwe zimatsimikiziranso momwe ubale wanu umayendera pambuyo pa mkangano. M'nkhaniyi, tikambirana njira zopangira zopangira pambuyo pomenyana ndi wokondedwa wanu.

Momwe Mungapangire Pambuyo Kumenyana Mu Ubwenzi

Kunena zoona, ubwenzi umaphatikizapo anthu aŵiri amene anakula ali ndi makhalidwe ndi malingaliro osiyana, choncho mikangano siipeŵeka. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti mudzakhala mukumenyana tsiku lililonse pa zinthu zazing'ono kwambiri, koma nthawi zina, pali kuthekera kwa mikangano ikukulirakulira kukhala mkangano waukulu. Ndi pamene kugwirizana pambuyo pa kupambana kwakukulu zimakhala zofunikira kwambiri komanso momwe mumachitira zimafunikira.

Kodi kupanga pambuyo nkhondo? Kodi maanja amachita chiyani akasemphana maganizo? Kodi mungasangalatse bwanji mtsikana wanu pambuyo pomenyana? Kodi mungatani mukangomenyana ndi bwenzi lanu? Ngati mukuganiza kuti kupepesa m'mwamba ndikuyembekeza kuti mnzanuyo asungunuke ndi njira yabwino yodzipangira pambuyo pa nkhondo yapachibwenzi, mukulakwitsa mzanga. Kulumikizananso pambuyo pa ndewu kumafuna khama ndipo, mwina, muyenera kuwerenga kuti mudziwe momwe mungachitire bwino izi. Kuti mudziwe momwe mungabwerere kuyambiranso kumenya ndewu, tsatirani izi:

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1. Njira zopangira mukangomenyana - Kugonana kodzikongoletsa

Izo pamwamba pa mndandanda, manja pansi. Ngati nonse munali ndi ndewu yoyipa usiku watha, dzipatseni nthawi yoti mukhazikike mtima pansi ndikutsatiranso zodzikongoletsera zogonana. Choyipa ndichakuti kugonana kutha kukhala kwabwinoko kuposa momwe munagawana kukhitchini m'mawa wina. Mkwiyo ndi kukangana zimabweretsa mbali yanu yaiwisi komanso yosatetezeka, zomwe zingayambitse nthawi yabwino pabedi.

Kugonana kodzipangitsa ndi imodzi mwa njira zokondana kwambiri zopangira pambuyo pa ndewu. Komanso, kukhala paubwenzi ndi mnzanu pambuyo pa ndewu kudzakuthandizani kuti mudutse mikanganoyo. Idzabweretsa inu awiri pafupi ndi limbitsani ubale wanu. Ndani ankadziwa kuti yankho la momwe mungapangire pambuyo pa ndewu ingakhale yochita kugonana kwabwino?

Rosy, wowerenga wa ku Beaufort, anauza Bonobology kuti anali ndi nkhondo yoyamba yoyamba ndi mwamuna wake usiku waukwati wake ndipo pamene iwo anali pakati pa kukangana, iye anangomutsekereza iye pompsompsona mwamphamvu. Mutha kulingalira zomwe zikanatsatira kupsompsona kotereku. Pambuyo pa zaka 10 ali m’banja, akuti amakumbukirabe mmene anakhalira limodzi koma anayiwala zimene ankakangana. Tikhulupirireni, komabe? Yesani ngati mutero. Zidzapangitsa wokondedwa wanu kukukondani kwambiri mukangomenyana.

2. Seka limodzi

Ngati mkangano uli wa inu awiri kufuna zinthu zosiyana, ndiye kuti kukambirana ndi mnzanuyo ndiyo njira yabwino yothetsera kusamvanako. Ngati akufuna kuwona masewera oyesa kricket Lamlungu pamene mukufuna kuwonera kanema, kukumana ndi mnzanuyo theka. Mwakutero, mutha kupeŵa mkangano wang’onoang’ono womwe ungasanduke kupsa mtima mkangano wa ubale. Mukathetsa kusamvanako, yesani kuchepetsa vutolo ndi nthabwala zina.

Kodi maanja amachita chiyani akayambana, mukufunsa? Imodzi mwa njira zopangira kupanga pambuyo pa kumenyana ndi, mwinamwake, kuseka pamodzi. Mikangano yambiri imachitika pazifukwa zazing'ono. Ngati mutha kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu ya nthabwala kudziseka nokha ndikuzindikira kuti mwakhala wopusa, ndiye kuti zitha kukuthandizani kuti mulumikizanenso pambuyo pa ndewu.

Ngati mukudzifunsa kuti, "Aaa, ndingatani ndi chibwenzi changa titayambana?" kapena "Kodi mumakondweretsa bwanji mtsikana wanu atamenyana?", Zingakhale zophweka ngati kusokoneza nthabwala yopunduka kapena ngakhale kuwatumizira meme oseketsa ngati mukuyang'ana njira zopangira pambuyo pomenyana ndi malemba. Kupangitsa zinthu kukhala zopepuka ndi njira yabwino yodzikumbutsa kuti mukungokhalira kukhumudwa ndipo muyenera kupitiliza kukangana.

3. Nenani mawu atatu amatsenga ndipo si "ndimakukondani"

"PepaniMwina simungakhale omasuka kunena zimenezi nthawi zambiri, komabe, kunena kuti pepani kutanthauza kuti sikulimba mtima chabe komanso ndi njira yabwino yothetsera kusamvanako mukangoyambana.

Mvetserani kuti kupepesa ndikuzindikira zochita zanu kumatengedwa ngati achigololo tsopano. Makamaka ngati mukufuna kubwezeretsanso mutakangana paubwenzi wautali, kunena kuti pepani ndi chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungachite. Mu LDRs, mawu anu amakuchitirani ntchito zonse ndipo muyenera kukhala oona mtima ndi enieni ndi mnzanuyo kuti athe kukukhulupirirani ndikukukondani. Ngati mukuyang'ana njira zothetsera nkhondoyo, mukudziwa zomwe muyenera kuchita.

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4. Tumizani mameseji

Ruby akufotokoza momwe meseji imodzi yochokera kwa mnzake idafunikira kuti athetse ndewu imodzi yoyipa kwambiri yomwe adakumana nayo muubwenzi wawo. Amakumbukira kuti awiriwo anakangana kwambiri patebulo la chakudya cham’mawa. Kenako, pamene awiriwa ankagwira ntchito, ndewu inapitirira pa malemba. Mwadzidzidzi, Ruby akulemba meseji mopupuluma kuti apatse chibwenzi chake kagawo kakang'ono kake, adalandira meseji kuchokera kwa iye yomwe idati, "Ndimakukonda. Zisiye. Siziyenera."

Anamva kukhudzika kwadzidzidzi ndipo adayamba kumukonda kwambiri chifukwa choyika chikondi chawo patsogolo kuposa ndewu yaying'ono. Ruby adafufuta chilichonse chomwe adalemba mpaka pano ndikulemba kuti, "Ndikufuna ndikuperekezeni ku nkhomaliro lero." Mutha kuwona chifukwa chake ndi lingaliro labwino kupanga pambuyo polimbana ndi mawu. Ndi imodzi mwa njira zokondana kwambiri sangalatsa mtsikana wako mutatha ndewu kapena kupanga chibwenzi chanu kuti azikondana kwambiri.

Nthawi zina mutha kuthetsa zinthu pogwiritsa ntchito mawu zomwe simungathe kuchita mukakumana maso ndi maso. Kunena zinthu zoyenera polemberana mameseji pambuyo pa ndewu kungathe kukhazika mtima pansi. Kutumiza emoji okoma kapena GIF ndi bonasi yomwe ingakupatseni ma point brownie. Choncho, gwiritsani ntchito mphamvu yotumizira mauthenga kuti mugwirizanenso pambuyo pa nkhondo.

5. Momwe mungapangire pambuyo pa ndewu? Asiyeni azizizira

Pali nthawi pamene palibe zodzipangitsa kugonana, kukambirana, kuseka, kapena kupepesa n'zomveka ngati mmodzi wa inu anakakamira-mmwamba pa nkhani nthawi zonse. Zikatere, kupatsa mnzanuyo nthawi yoti aziziziritsa ndi njira yabwino yopitira ngati mukufuna konza ubale njira yoyenera. Apatseni nthawi yokonza malingaliro awo ndikuwongolera mitu yawo asanabwere ndi nsembe yamtendere.

Nthawi zina kuti mugwirizane pambuyo pa kumenyana muubwenzi, muyenera kungosiya munthu winayo kwa kanthawi. Kupereka mpata muubwenzi mukayambana kungathandize mnzanuyo kuziziritsa mtima. Zingamveke zotsutsana ndipo mungafune kungothamangira kwa iwo ndikukambirana nawo. Koma nthawi zina, nthawi yotalikirana ikhoza kukuchitirani machiritso. Lingalirani kuwapatsa iwo ndi inu nokha nthawi yoti muyike zinthu moyenera. Inu nonse mudzabweranso ali ndi mutu wambiri, tikulonjeza.

6. Perekani mpata kwa okondedwa wanu kuti abwerere mwakale mukangomenyana

Anthu ena amakwiya kenako n’kuzizira m’mphindi zochepa chabe, pamene ena sataya mtima msanga koma akatero, zingatenge nthawi yaitali kuti mtima ukhale pansi. Iyi ndi nthawi yomwe amafunikira malo awoawo. Apatseni iwo. Musapitilize kuwazunza ndi kugogoda pakhomo ndi kupereka nsembe zamtendere mosalekeza. Ngati ali kuntchito kapena ayi kunyumba, musamatumize mameseji ndikufunsa ngati ali bwino.

Momwe mungapangire pambuyo pa ndewu nthawi zina ndikungowasiya. Kupatsa danga mu chiyanjano pambuyo kulimbana akhoza kuchita zodabwitsa, tikhulupirireni. Muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti wokondedwa wanu amafunikira malo awoawo kuti abwerere ku moyo wawo wakale. Kuwavutitsa kuti akumwetulireni ndi kukupsopsonani panthawiyi kungakhale chinthu cholakwika kuchita. Ingowasiyani iwo akhale. Iwo adzabwera pamene iwo ali okonzeka.

7. Kapu imachita zodabwitsa

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zabwino zomwe mungachitire bwenzi lanu mutatha kumenyana. Kunena zowona, iyi ndi njira imodzi yopangira chikondi pambuyo pa ndewu. Ndi mowa wotentha, koma umakuthandizani kuti muziziziritsa komanso kuganiza moyenera. Mutha kupanga kunyumba kapena lingaliro labwino ndikugunda pafupi kapena malo ogulitsira khofi omwe mumakonda.

Mupangireni mmodzi kapena muthamangire ndikumutengera zomwe amakonda kuchokera ku Starbucks. Onjezani ma cookies a chokoleti kusakaniza ndi pakati pa kapu, mukhoza kuiwala zomwe mkanganowo unali. Kodi mungapange bwanji ndi chibwenzi changa mutamenyana, mukufunsa? Wonjezerani nthambi ya azitona pa kapu ya khofi. Mutha kuwapezeranso makapu okongola a khofi - ndi imodzi mwamphatso zoganizira kwambiri kupanga pambuyo pa ndewu.

8. Pezani pansi pa nkhaniyo

Kufika komwe kumayambitsa vutoli ndi imodzi mwamaupangiri ofunikira amomwe mungapangire pambuyo pa ndewu. Nthawi zina zomwe zimawoneka ngati zopusa pamtunda zimatha kukhala ndi zozama. Ngati mnzanu ali ndi vuto ndi inu kuonera TV usiku wonse, ndiye mwina akufuna chidwi kwa inu. Ngati amadandaula za kulipira mabilu nthawi iliyonse mukagula, ndiye kuti mwina ndi kugula kwanu mopambanitsa komwe kumawapanikiza. Sali pa kampeni yodana ndi kugula, koma mwina, mutatenga zinthu zotsika mtengo, akadakhala osangalala.

Akhoza kumangokhalira kukuvutitsani chifukwa chogwira ntchito zapakhomo, koma zoona zake n’zakuti amangofuna kuti muziwayamikira chifukwa cha zimene akuchitira banja tsiku lonse. Kotero, mmalo mokangana ndi kukuwa ndi kumenyana pa nkhanizi, mwinamwake mukhoza kuyang'ana mozama ndi kuthetsa mkanganowo. Kuganiza mozama ndikupeza yankho ndi njira yabwino yolumikizirana pambuyo pa nkhondo. Zidzamupangitsanso kuti azikukondani kwambiri mutatha kumenyana kapena kumupangitsa kuti akuyamikireni kwambiri chifukwa cha kulingalira kwanu.

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9. Osachita mantha kubwereranso pamutuwu

Kodi kubwerera mwakale pambuyo nkhondo? Mabanja ena ali okhazikika ndi lingaliro lakubwezeretsanso ubale wawo kotero kuti amawopa kubwereranso ku mutu womwe unayambitsa mkangano poyambirira. Iwo amapepesa, kupukuta nkhaniyo pansi pa kapeti ndikuyesera kusuntha osazindikira kuti nkhani yosathetsedwa ili ngati chilonda chosapola muubwenzi.

Iyenera kukweza mutu wake wonyansa ngati chilombo pakapita miyezi ingapo. Khama lanu lonse loganizira momwe mungapangire mutamenyana nazo sizipita pachabe chifukwa nkhaniyi imangokulirakulirabe pomwe simukuyembekezera ndipo mumangokhalira kumenyana komweko mobwerezabwereza. Njira yabwino yolumikizirana pambuyo pa nkhondo ndikubwereranso ku mutu womwe unayambitsa ndewu. Kuzipewa sikungakufikitseni kulikonse.

Lankhulani za izo. Mwina simungathe kutero kuthetsa kusamvana nthawi yomweyo, koma kuyamba kukambirana modekha ndi sitepe yabwino yoyamba. M'malo mokhala njira imodzi yopangira kupanga pambuyo pa ndewu, tikudziwa kuti iyi ndi njira yotopetsa komanso yayitali yomwe mungafune kupewa. Koma muyenera kutero chifukwa cha ubale wanu.

10. Vomerezani ngati mwalakwitsa kubwezeretsanso pambuyo pa ndewu

Izi zimathandiza kwambiri okwatirana kuti agwirizanenso pambuyo pa nkhondo yaikulu. Kuti apange pambuyo pa kumenyana ndi wokondedwa wawo, anthu nthawi zambiri amapepesa koma nthawi zonse sakhala okonzeka kuvomereza kuti anali olakwa ndikugwiritsa ntchito chochitikacho kuti ayese kukhala bwino m'tsogolomu. Yesetsani kuzama mkati mwanu ndikupeza pomwe mukulakwitsa. Kodi ntchito yanu inali yotani poyambitsa ndewu ndi kupitiliza mawu ofananiza?

Ngati muli ndi kuthekera kozindikira komwe mudalakwitsa, ndiye kuti palibe vuto kuvomereza zimenezo. Mwachidule, musamangoganizira za ndewu ndi mikangano kuposa chikondi chimene nonse muli nacho. Mkwiyo ndi wakanthawi, chikondi ndi chamuyaya. Zimenezi zingakhale zothandiza makamaka ngati muli paubwenzi wautali.

Ngakhale pali njira zosangalatsira mtsikana wanu kapena mutha kupeza zinthu zokongola zomwe mungachitire bwenzi lanu pambuyo pa ndewu ngati zodabwitsa munthu wako pamaso pa munthu ndi maluwa kapena kumuyitanitsa chakudya chake chomwe amachikonda ndikuchipereka kunyumba kwake, palibe chomwe chili chokoma monga kupepesa kochokera pansi pamtima ndi lonjezo loti zinthu zidzakhala bwino m'tsogolomu.

Kuyambira kupepesa kochokera pansi pamtima mpaka kuseka komanso kukambirana moona mtima za nkhani zanu, pali njira zambiri zopangira pambuyo pa ndewu. Sankhani yoyenera kwambiri, kutengera momwe ubale wanu uliri komanso kuopsa kwa vuto lomwe lilipo, ndipo mutha kuthana ndi kusamvana komanso kusasangalatsa. Kodi pali zanzeru zilizonse za momwe mungapangire pambuyo pa ndewu yomwe mumagwiritsa ntchito ndi SO yanu? Tiuzeni mu gawo la ndemanga pansipa.

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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.