Nkhondo Yoyamba Mu Ubale - Zomwe Muyenera Kuyembekezera

Nkhondo yoyamba ya pachibwenzi imachitika nthawi yachisangalalo ikayamba kutha. Nonse inu ndi mnzanuyo mukugwirizana maganizo pakali pano ndipo nkhondoyi imabweretsa zowawa zambiri ndi zowawa. Aka ndi nthawi yoyamba kuti kuwira kwa chithunzi chabwino cha ubale womwe mudali nawo m'maganizo kumayamba kugwedezeka m'mphepete.

Kukangana koyambirira pakati pa okondedwa awiri nthawi zonse kumakhala kovuta, makamaka chifukwa ubale udakali watsopano ndipo mukugwirabe ntchito yomanga maziko olimba. Izi zikunenedwa, tiyenera kuvomereza kuti ngakhale kuti mikangano ili yabwino paubwenzi, kulimbana ndi mavuto ambiri muubwenzi sikungakhale chizindikiro chabwino.

Kusemphana maganizo kumayenera kuwonjezereka pakapita nthawi pamene mukukhala omasuka wina ndi mzake. Ndiye ngati mukudabwa kuti, “Kodi maanja amamenyana liti?” Dziwani kuti pali zinthu monga kumenyana posachedwapa. Zikachitika tsiku lachisanu lisanafike, zitha kukhala zowopsa, koma ndewu ndiyosapeweka ngati muli pachibwenzi kwa miyezi itatu. Kuti tikuthandizeni kumvetsetsa zotsatira za mikangano yoyambirira ndi momwe mungayendetsere mwaluso, tiyeni tiwone zovuta za mikangano ndi kuthetsa kwake.

Kodi kumenyana kochuluka bwanji mu chiyanjano?

Mukangosiya kuwona mnzanu kudzera mu magalasi amtundu wa duwa, mbendera zowoneka bwino zofiira mwa iwo zimawonekera kwambiri. Izi zikhoza kukhala miyezi yovuta kwambiri pachibwenzi. Megan, woŵerenga wathu wa ku Long Island, akunena za gawo loipa m’moyo wake, “Iye anasiyana nane pambuyo pa nkhondo yathu yoyamba. Ndinadziŵa kuti kusagwirizana koyambirira m’chibwenzi sikungakhale chizindikiro chabwino, koma ndinapitirizabe kunyalanyaza.

Ngakhale tonse tili ndi mikangano yolimbikitsa, ngati maanja ali ndi mavuto kuyambira pachiyambi, zikhoza kukhala chizindikiro kuti sakugwirizana. M'malo momangokhalira kudandaula kuti mumamenyana kangati, muyenera kuganizira kwambiri za mmene mumachitira pomenyana ndi mnzanuyo. Kodi mukuwoneka kuti mukukhumudwitsana ndi kuyamba kulankhulana mwankhanza kapena mumangoganiza ngati anthu achikulire aŵiri okhwima maganizo n'kuyesera kuthetsa vutolo?

Research zimasonyeza kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi aliyense amakangana kwambiri pa nkhani zofanana, monga ana, ndalama, apongozi, ndi chibwenzi. Koma chimene chimasiyanitsa anthu okwatirana osangalala ndi osasangalala n’chakuti oyambirira amakonda kutenga njira zothetsera mavuto. kuthetsa mikangano. Izi zikunenedwa, ngati mukumenya nkhondo kamodzi kapena kawiri pamwezi, palibe chifukwa chodera nkhawa. Koma ngati mumamenyana tsiku lililonse, mwinamwake muyenera kuganiziranso za ubale wanu ndi kukambirana mogwira mtima ndi wokondedwa wanu za vuto lanu.

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Kodi Ubale Umasintha Bwanji Pambuyo pa Nkhondo Yoyamba?

Sizingakhale maluwa onse ndi utawaleza mu ubale. Awiri pamapeto pake amatsutsana pa chinthu china kapena chimzake ndipo mosakayikira zidzatsogolera mkangano woyamba muubwenzi womwe mwina simunakonzekere. Mutha kuyesa kuganiza motere - matepi achikondi awa amatsimikizira kuti maziko anu ndi olimba bwanji. Zosokoneza? Tiloleni kuti tiunikire.

Mukayambana ndi mnzako kwa nthawi yoyamba, akhoza kukupatsani bokosi la chokoleti kuti muziziritse ndipo mungaiwale chifukwa chomwe munali kumenyana poyamba. Kapena mungalowe m’nkhondo yoziziritsa kukhosi, n’kumagendana miyala kwa masiku angapo. Zonse zimatengera momwe mumasankhira kupangana wina ndi mnzake. Kupulumuka mkangano uwu ndizofunika kwambiri, kunyengerera, ndi phunziro lanu loyamba kukhululuka muubwenzi.

Kulimbana koyambirira kwa ubale wanu kungapangitse mgwirizano wanu kukhala wolimba ngakhale kukangana kwambiri mukakhala pachibwenzi sikungakhale kosangalatsa. Inu mukhoza kwenikweni kukhala m'mphepete mwa mpando wanu, ndikudabwa ngati ubwenzi umenewu ngakhale kupita patsogolo, ndipo sangathe kugwedeza mantha kutaya wokondedwa wanu kwamuyaya.

Koma ndewu yanu yoyamba ndi bwenzi lanu/chibwenzi sikusonyeza kuti simukondana. Ndi mwayi wolankhula nawo kuti mukonze zinthu ndi kupeza yankho lomwe lingagwire ntchito kwa nonse. Chinsinsi ndicho kuika patsogolo ubale wanu pamene mukuthetsa ndewu ndikumvetsetsa zosowa za mnzanuyo bwino. Komanso, kugonana kodzoladzola pambuyo pa nkhondo yoyamba yaubwenzi kumatsimikiziridwa kukhala yodabwitsa.

Danani ndi ndewuyo, osati munthu. Konzani kusamvana mwachangu momwe mungathere. Ngakhale kuti zonsezi ndi uphungu wabwino, ndikofunikira kunena kuti nkhondo yodziwika bwinoyi imasintha maubwenzi pang'ono, makamaka ngati muli ndi kusagwirizana koyambirira kwambiri muubwenzi. Tiyeni tiwone momwe:

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1. Mumaphunzira kulolerana

Nkhondo yayikulu yoyamba muubwenzi wanu imakuphunzitsani zambiri kuposa momwe mumaganizira. Mpaka the honeymoon yatha, mukusangalatsidwa ndi chibwenzi chokongola. Kuthamanga kwa adrenaline ndi agulugufe onse omwe ali m'mimba mwanu samakulolani kuti muganizire zinthu zomwe zingasokoneze ubwenzi wanu.

Zomwe mungaganizire ndi momwe inu nonse muli m'chikondi. Koma nkhondoyo ikayambika, mumaphunzira kuganizira mmene mnzanu akumvera ndi kudziwa mmene mnzanuyo amachitira zinthu zikavuta. Zimakuwonetsani mbali yatsopano kwa iwo ndipo mwina mumapezanso mbali ina mwa inu nokha.

Mumaphunzira kuika zofuna za mnzanu pamwamba pa zanu. Kwa nthawi yoyamba, zimakukhudzani kuti chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri paubwenzi wosangalala ndi kuthekera kosokoneza. Koma pali zinthu zina zomwe mungagwirizane nazo ndikutsimikiza zinthu zomwe simuyenera kunyengerera pa, ziribe kanthu kuchuluka kwa ndewu komwe muli nako. Inunso mumamvetsa bwino za izi panjira.

2. Mumagonjetsa mantha anu

Mukakhala paubwenzi watsopano, nthawi zonse pamakhala mantha amtsogolo. Mutu wanu wadzaza ndi kusatsimikizika ngati mnzanuyo angakuvomerezeni pazovuta zanu kapena ngati adzatha kuthana nazo pamene nonse muyamba kumenyana. Kwenikweni, mumadandaula za momwe mungapulumukire nkhondo yoyamba ndi chibwenzi / bwenzi lanu.

Mumangodzifunsa ngati muli paubwenzi ndi munthu woyenera. Kugwirizana mu ubale ndi chinthu chachikulu. Mkangano wanu woyamba ukachitika, mumawona momwe mnzanuyo amachitira, ndipo chofunika kwambiri, amakuchitirani inunso. Mantha anu onse amayamba pang'onopang'ono kutha kapena kupeza sitampu yotsimikizira.

Pofotokoza za kukangana kumene anayambana kumene ndi chibwenzi chake, Lorraine, yemwe anali atangomaliza maphunziro ake ku koleji, anatiuza kuti: “Miyezi 6 tili pachibwenzi ndipo tisanayambe ndewu, ndinkaganiza kuti tinali kuchita bwino kwambiri.

3. Mumaphunzira kulemekezana malire

Muchikozyano chipya, noonse mukali kuyanda kuzyiba. Nthawi zambiri, mutha kudumpha ndikuwoloka mzere ndikuyiwala za malire a ubale wabwino zomwe muyenera kuzisamalira. Zomwe mumaganiza kuti ndi nthabwala mwina zidakhala chipongwe kwa mnzanuyo, mpaka kufika pa "Ayi! Tinamenyana koyamba" mwamsanga kwambiri.

Ngati mwakhumudwitsa kapena mwakhumudwitsa mnzanuyo mosadziŵa, mungadzimve kukhala wosokonekera pothetsa vutolo. Komabe, ndewu ngati izi zimakuthandizani kuti mudziwe zambiri za malire a mnzanuyo komanso zomwe zimawalepheretsa. Ndipo ndi momwe mumaphunzirira kuzindikira ndikulemekeza malire awo. Ndikofunikira kukambirana ndi wokondedwa wanu zomwe akuwona kuti zili bwino komanso zomwe amaziona ngati zamwano kuti adziwe momwe angajambule mzere.

4. Maziko anu amalimba mukangokangana koyamba muubwenzi

Kulimbana kwaubwenzi uku ndikuyesanso maziko anu. Mukapulumuka mkangano waukulu woyamba, mumadziwa momwe ubale wanu ulili wolimba. Kodi ndewu zimayamba liti pachibwenzi? Palibe yankho lomveka bwino kwa izo. Mwina ikatha nthawi ya mame, ngati njiwa, pomwe zonse zomwe mumachita ndikukopeka ndi munthu winayo. Koma zikadutsa, mumayamba kuganizira zakuya ndikuzindikira mgwirizano wofiira mbendera momveka bwino.

Ndi kudzera mu ndewu ngati izi m'pamene mumadziwana bwino ndi wokondedwa wanu komanso momveka bwino. Nonse mumalankhulana momasuka, khalani osatetezeka, ndikulumikizana wina ndi mnzake kudzera muzowawa. Zimakupangitsani inu nonse kukhala olimba mtima komanso mumamvetsetsana bwino. Maziko anu amakula kwambiri pamene mukuyamba kumvetsetsana ndikuwulula zigawo zatsopano za umunthu wa wina ndi mzake.

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5. Mumadziwana

Miyezi ingapo yoyambirira ya ubale ndi yosangalatsa komanso yosangalatsa kukopa mnzako. Pakadali pano, mwina simukumvabe bwino kuti muulule "inu weniweni" ku SO yanu. Koma zinthu zimasintha pambuyo pomenyana ndi awiri oyamba. Iyenera kudziulula kuti ndinu weniweni ndipo mutha kudziwa ngati wokondedwa wanu amakukondani.

Pankhondo yoyamba, mumamvetsetsa zinthu zambiri za mnzanuyo. Chifukwa chake ngati mukukangana mudakali pachibwenzi, musadandaule! Uwu ndiye mwayi waukulu wochotsa zigawozo ndikupeza zomwe zili mkati mwake. Mumaphunzira za zinthu zomwe zimapweteketsa wokondedwa wanu, momwe mnzanuyo amamvera za inu ndi chiyanjano, komanso mantha awo ndi zofooka zawo. Izi zimakuthandizani kuti mumvetse bwino mnzanuyo, zomwe mosakayikira zidzakuyimirani bwino m'tsogolomu.

6. Mukukulira limodzi

“Titangomenyana koyamba, nthawi yomweyo ndinadzimva kuti ndine wokhwima ndipo ndinakulira m’chibwenzi.” Izi zisanachitike, ndinkangoona ngati ndife achichepere aŵiri okondana amene timakumana ndi zochitika zinazake. ubale weniweni nawo”, akutero wowerenga wathu, Amelia, pazomwe adaphunzira pambuyo pa nkhondo yake yoyamba ndi chibwenzi chake, Michael.

Padzakhala mikangano yambiri yomwe ikubwera koma iyi imakuphunzitsani kuganizirana wina ndi mzake ndikusunga chiyero cha ubale wanu koposa zonse. Mumazindikira kuti izi sizilinso za anthu awiri osiyana, koma za inu monga banja. Uku ndiye kukula ndi kukhwima komwe Amelia ankanena. Kumenyana sikutanthauza kuti kwatha. M'malo mwake ndi zambiri zothana ndi zopingazo palimodzi ndikugwiritsitsabe wina ndi mnzake.

Nonse mumazindikira kufunika kwa "ife". Izi zimakupangitsani kuti mugwire ntchito limodzi ngati banja ndipo nonse mumakulira limodzi ndikutuluka mwamphamvu. Kupyolera mu kusiyana kwanu ndi mikangano, mumamanga pa ubwenzi wanzeru. Izi zimakuuzani kuti ndinu olimba, osatetezeka komanso ochirikiza muubwenzi.

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Kodi Mungatani Pambuyo pa Nkhondo Yoyamba?

Nkhondo yoyamba mukakhala pachibwenzi nthawi zonse imakhala yosaiwalika. Nkhondoyi ndi imene imakhazikitsa maziko a nkhondo zina zonse zimene zikubwera. Ngati simuchita bwino izi, zidzagwiritsidwanso ntchito ngati zofotokozera zinthu zikavuta pakati pa inu ndi mnzanu. Kumbukirani, ndikofunikira lankhulani ndi mnzanu pambuyo pa ndewu m'malo mochita mikangano. Nazi zomwe mungachite mutamenyana koyamba ndi chibwenzi kapena bwenzi lanu:

1. Musadikire nthawi yayitali kuti mukonzekere

Kodi ndewu iyenera kukhala nthawi yayitali bwanji pachibwenzi? Yankho lagona pa momwe mungathetsere mwamsanga, makamaka ngati mukulimbana kumayambiriro kwa chiyanjano. Mutha kuyesedwa kuti mupatse mnzanuyo kuchitira chete, poyembekezera kuwapangitsa kuzindikira kulakwa kwawo. Koma zoona zake n’zakuti mukatenga nthawi yaitali kuti mukonze zinthu, m’pamenenso mpata woti maganizo oipa azichulukirachulukira.

Tikakwiyira munthu, timangoganizira za kuipa kwa ubalewo. Maganizo olakwikawa amangopitilirabe kukula ngati simuyamba kuyankhula ndi okondedwa wanu kuti mupange. Osadikirira nthawi yayitali kuti mukonze kapena kudzakhala kovuta kwambiri kuthetsa vutolo.

2. Sonyezani chifundo

Muyenera kuchitira chifundo wokondedwa wanu. Ziribe kanthu kuti ndi vuto la ndani, muyenera kukumbukira kuti mnzanuyo nayenso wakhumudwa ndi nkhondoyi. M'malo mochita masewera olakwa, muyenera kusonyeza chifundo kwa wokondedwa wanu ndikumvetsetsa malingaliro ake.

Kusonyeza chifundo kudzapangitsa mnzanuyo kuzindikira kuti mumasamala za malingaliro awo, ndipo pamapeto a tsiku, nonse mudzakhala mukupepesa kwa wina ndi mzake. Monga tanenera, ndewu zimatha kukuyandikitsani pafupi, ndipo kukhala womvetsetsa komanso wachifundo ndi njira yoyenera kugwirizananso pambuyo pa nkhondo yaikulu.

3. Dzikhazikitseni kaye

Muyenera kukhazika mtima pansi musanalankhule ndi mnzanu. Tikakwiya, nthawi zambiri timayamba kunena zinthu zimene sitikutanthauza. Kusagwirizana kwakung'ono kusanasinthe kukhala chiwonetsero chofuula ndikukupangitsani kuti muwulule mbali yoyipa yanu mosadziwa, ndikofunikira kuti muchepetse.

Apo ayi, zingayambitse mawu opweteka kusinthanitsa pakati pa iwe ndi wokondedwa wako. Ndikofunika kuti musalole mkwiyo wanu kukulankhulani. Pokhapokha mutakhazikika ndikusonkhanitsidwa mudzatha kuwona chifukwa chenicheni chakumenyana ndikuthetsa.

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4. Kulankhulana ndiye chinsinsi

Nkhondo yanu yoyamba sikuyenera kuthera ndi wokondedwa wanu ndikugona muzipinda zosiyanasiyana. Muyenera kulankhula nawo. Lankhulani ndi wokondedwa wanu ndipo yesani kuwakhazika mtima pansi. Akakhala bata, mukhoza nonse kulankhula wina ndi mzake pa zomwe zakupwetekani kwambiri. Mukakhala bata, nonse mudzatha kugawana malingaliro anu ndikukambirana nkhaniyi mwaumoyo.

5. Yesetsani kukonza zinthu limodzi

Ndikofunika kuganizira za ubale wanu kuti mupewe mikangano. Muyenera kukhala pamodzi ndikuzindikira zomwe zidayambitsa izi. Zidzakuthandizani kumvetsetsana ndi kupewa zomwezo m'tsogolomu. Ganizirani njira yovomerezeka ndi onse awiri ndi kuthetsa ndewuyo ndi kukumbatirana. Kukumbatirana ndi zamatsenga. Mkangano woyamba si wa kupambana kapena kuluza, koma ndi mmene inu nonse mumayamikira ubwenzi wanu ndipo mwakonzeka kuugwira ntchito.

6. Phunzirani kukhululuka mukayamba kukangana muubwenzi

N’kofunika kuti nonse mukhululukilane. Kungonena pepani osati kutanthauza kuti kudzayambitsanso ndewu ina. Phunzirani kukhululukirana wina ndi mnzake pa zolakwa zomwe munalakwitsa ndikuchokapo. Kukhululuka kudzakuthandizani kuchotsa zolemetsazo mu mtima mwanu ndipo mudzatha kuganizira kwambiri za mnzanuyo komanso ubale wanu.

Kusagwirizana koyambirira nthawi zina kumakhala kowawa ngati kulimbana ndi kusweka mtima kapena kutha. Ndi chifukwa chakuti mumayamba kumva maganizo oipawa kuti mantha anu okhudzana ndi ubalewo amawonekera. Chowonadi ndi chakuti nkhondo yoyamba ndi wokondedwa wanu ndi chinthu chabwino.

Mungafunse kuti, “Kodi tikuphunzira chiyani pa nkhondo yathu yoyamba?” Chabwino, mumamudziwa bwino mnzanuyo ndipo zidakupangitsani kuzindikira momwe mumakondera wokondedwa wanu. Zili ngati kudzutsa kudzuka kumene zinthu zikukhala zenizeni ndipo nonse mukuyamba kukonza ubale wanu. Osawopa mikangano paubwenzi, popeza nonse mukathetsa, nonse mudzaseka momwe zidachitikira patapita zaka zingapo. Chitani ngati njira yabwino yopangira ubale wanu kukhala wolimba!

Ibibazo

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