Anthu ndi ovuta. Ubale kwambiri kuposa. Mutha kukonda wina kwambiri koma kusokoneza kulumikizana komwe mumagawana nawo. Simunakonzekere kuwasiya koma kukhala limodzi kumapweteka kwambiri. Mukakakamira pakati pa thanthwe ndi malo olimba ngati awa, mumangotsala ndi funso limodzi m'mutu mwanu - momwe mungakonzere ubale womwe wawononga.
Ululu wotaya munthu amene umamukonda ndi kum'konda kwambiri umakulirakulira pamene ukudziwa kuti zochita zanu ndi zomwe zakulekanitsani. Zolakwika mu ubale zimachitika mbali zonse. Koma ngati mwawoloka mzere ndi wanu, zingakhale zovuta kwambiri kuthetsa zowonongekazo. Mwachitsanzo, ngati munanyenga mnzanuyo, kulakwa kungayambitse kuzindikira kwa "Ndawononga ubale wanga", kuphatikizapo kumverera kwakuya, ngakhale mnzanuyo asanadziwe za cholakwacho.
Kukonza ubale womwe mudawononga chifukwa chobera kapena kukhumudwitsa mnzanu kungakhale kovuta. M'masiku oyambilira a kubwereranso, zimatha kumva ngati palibe njira yopulumutsira ubale wanu. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti chiyembekezo chonse chatha. Ndizotheka kukonza ubale womwe mudauwononga. Malingana ngati mukulolera kuchita gawo la mkango wa ntchito yofunikira kuti mukonze mgwirizano wanu. Tikukuuzani momwe, molumikizana ndi psychotherapist Jui Pimple, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapist wophunzitsidwa bwino komanso sing'anga wa A Bach Remedy yemwe amagwira ntchito pa upangiri pa intaneti.
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M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kusunga ndi kulimbikitsa maubwenzi kungakhale kovuta. Mukakhala limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali, chikondi chomwe chimakugwirizanitsani pamodzi monga okwatirana chingakhudzidwe ndi zovuta za moyo, nkhani za ubale, kusiyana, kulakwitsa, kuzemberana, ndi mikangano yotsatira. Zolakwa zina kapena zosiyana zimawononga kwambiri kuposa zina, ndipo zimatha kuwononga ubale wanu.
Mutha kusiyidwa mukusokoneza ubongo wanu, "Ndawononga ubale wanga, ndingakonze bwanji?" Osataya mtima ngati ndi komwe muli. Nthawi zina, zimatengera kutha kwa ubale wanu kuti muzindikire momwe mumayamikirira wokondedwa wanu ndikumufuna m'moyo wanu. Nkhani ya Christy, wakubanki ku Chicago, ndi umboni wa mfundo imeneyi. Anali paubwenzi wanthawi yayitali, wokhazikika ndi David kwa zaka zopitilira zisanu ndi ziwiri.
Awiriwo ankakhala limodzi, ndipo Christy ankayembekezera mwachinsinsi kuti David afunsa funsoli posachedwa. Atakhala limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali, ubale wawo udakhazikika munjira yodziwikiratu. Ngakhale kuti ankasangalala kukhala limodzi ndiponso ankakondana kwambiri, ‘ncheche’yo inali itazimiririka. Kenako, kunkachitika ndewu ndiponso kukangana nthawi ndi nthawi.
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Pakati pa moyo wodziwikiratu koma wokhazikika uwu, Christy adakopeka kosalekeza ndi wogwira naye ntchito. Atatha kumwa zakumwa zamlungu ndi mlungu ndi gulu la zigawenga za ofesi, adadzipeza ali pamlomo ndi Nolan kumbuyo kwa malo omwe ankakhalako.
Inde, David anasangalala kwambiri. Popeza Christy ankagona kuntchito usiku wonse komanso maulendo ake kuntchito kumapeto kwa sabata, sizinatenge nthawi kuti adziwe zomwe zikuchitika. Chibwenzicho chitadziwika, David anafulumira kuthetsa chibwenzicho ndikuchoka. Christy sanavutike kwambiri kuthetsa chibwenzi chake ndi munthu amene ankakhala naye komanso zomwe zinamulepheretsa kuzindikira kuti amaona kuti David ndi chibwenzi chake ndi ofunika kwambiri. "Ndawononga chibwenzi changa ndipo ndikufuna kuti chibwererenso" ndicho chomwe ankaganiza.
Pambuyo pa miyezi yoyesera, ndi uphungu, anatha kupangitsa David kuyankha. Analinso ndi ntchito yayikulu yokonzanso zomwe zidawonongeka muubwenzi kuti akwaniritse. Ndi chithandizo choyenera, iwo adatha kuchoka ku chododometsa ichi. Ulendo wake ndi phunziro la momwe mungakonzere ubale womwe mudasokoneza:
1. Landirani udindo wanu pakuwononga ubale wanu
Kodi mungachite chiyani ngati mwawononga ubale? Khalani ndi udindo wonse pa zochita zanu, kuti mnzanuyo akhulupirire kuti mukufunadi kukonza zinthu. Inde, sitepe yoyamba yokonza ubale womwe mwawononga ndi kuvomereza kuti ndi inu amene mwauyambitsa. Zingakhale zovuta koma ndikofunikira ngati mukufuna kusunga ubalewo.
Pofotokoza zimene zinam’chitikira, Christy ananena kuti ulendowu ungakhale wovuta kwambiri. "Ndinawononga ubale wabwino kwambiri womwe ndidakhala nawo komabe ndinali wolunjika kwambiri pakupeza zolakwa ndi David ndi ubale wathu kuti ndisamachite mantha kwambiri ndi zomwe zidachitika. Ndikuganiza kuti ndi chizolowezi chofala. Mosapeweka mumayang'ana zolakwa za mnzanu zomwe mungagwiritse ntchito ngati chowiringula chodzilungamitsa nokha zochita ndi zolakwa zanu, "adawonjezera.
Ngati mukufuna kukonza ubale wosweka ndi bwenzi kapena bwenzi lanu, ndikofunikira kuyang'ana pa ine osati inu. Ngakhale mnzanu atakhala ndi gawo lochitapo kanthu pa chilichonse chomwe chakulekanitsani, ino si nthawi yoti mufotokozere. Vomerezani ndi kuvomereza zolakwa zanu, ndipo pokhapo mutha kuyembekezera kuti muyambenso kukonza mgwirizano wanu wowonongeka.
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2. Khalani owona mtima
Jui akunena kuti kuona mtima ndiye chinsinsi, makamaka ngati mukuyesera kukonza ubale pamene kudalirana kwasweka. "Kukhala woona mtima, kukhala woona mtima ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri paubwenzi. Kuti mukonze zinthu, yambani ndi kukhala woona mtima pa zomwe mukumva kapena kuchita muubwenzi. Khalani woona mtima pa zomwe mukumva kwa mnzanu ndi ubale wanu. Kudzalemekezedwa kuposa chikondi chabodza," akutero iye.
Pankhani ya Christy, zinatanthauza kufotokoza momveka bwino za kusasamala komwe anali nako muubwenzi, komwe kunayambitsa kusakhulupirika kwake . "Ndinawononga ubale wanga ndi wokondedwa wanga. Tsopano, kuti ndikonze, ndinayenera kudzikonzekeretsa kuti ndisavutike kuyika ubale wathu pansi pa scanner ndikupeza zomwe sizikuyenda bwino komanso chifukwa chake," akutero.
Kunena chinachake motsatira mizere ya, "Sindikanayenera kusunga zinsinsi ngati inu simunayambe kuwomba pamwamba pa chirichonse chaching'ono", ndithudi si momwe inu kukonza ubwenzi inu anawononga ndi kunama. Jui akulangiza kuti ngakhale iyi ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pokonza chibwenzi chomwe mwachiwononga, chiyenera kuchitika popanda kumuneneza mnzanuyo kapena kumupangitsa kumva kuti ali ndi udindo pazolakwa zanu.
3. Yambitsani kukambirana kuti mufike kwa okondedwa wanu
Kuti muthe kukonza ubale wosweka ndi bwenzi lanu kapena bwenzi lanu, muyenera kudutsa kwa iwo ndikukambirana. Izi zikutanthawuza kuika maganizo anu pambali ndi kudzipereka. Ngakhale mutakhala kuti simunakonzekere kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu mpaka mutakumana maso ndi maso, kulemberana mameseji kungakhale chiyambi chabwino chothetsa nzeru.
Inde, simungayembekezere uthenga kukonza ubwenzi wosweka, koma adzakupatsani chinachake ntchito. Kuyesetsa kufikira tsiku lililonse kuli bwino kuposa kukhala pansi n’kudandaula kuti, “Ndinalakwitsa zinthu zimene zinasokoneza ubwenzi wanga.” Simungapite nthawi yomweyo, koma mukalimbikira, mutha kupangitsa mnzanuyo kuti akumveni.
Christy akuti, “Nditangoyamba kukangana ndi David, ndinaganiza zothetsa chibwenzicho ndipo ndinathetsa chibwenzicho ndi Nolan. Ndinayesa kulankhula ndi chibwenzi changa kangapo koma nambala yanga inatsekedwa. Kenako, tsiku lina, ndinatumiza 'moni', ndilibe chiyembekezo choti idzaperekedwa. Sikuti uthengawo unangoperekedwa, komanso David anayankha. Zimenezo zinatsegula zitseko zoti tikambiranenso.”
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4. Ganizirani mmene mungakonzere chibwenzi chimene munachithetsa
“Ndikufuna kukonza ubale umene ndinauwononga koma sindikudziwa komwe ndingayambire kapena momwe ndingathetsere vutoli.” Vutoli likhoza kukhala lofala kwambiri pamene ubale wanu uli kale pa mapeto, chifukwa kuchitapo kanthu kolakwika kamodzi kokha kungayambitse vuto lalikulu. Mungaope kuti mnzanuyo anganene zinthu zopweteka kapena munganene china chake chomwe chingawonjezere ululu womwe mwamupweteka, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti vutolo liwonjezeke.
Mantha oterowo akakuzingani, zimakuthandizani kudzikumbutsa kuti kusachita kalikonse sikungathandizenso. Ngati chirichonse, kusowa khama kuchokera mapeto anu akhoza kutumiza uthenga kwa mnzanuyo kuti simusamala. Izi zingapangitse kuti zikhale zovuta kwambiri kwa inu kukonza chiyanjano chomwe mwachiwononga mwa kunama kapena kukhumudwitsa wina wanu.
Jui akulangiza kuti, "Chibwenzi chikawonongeka kapena chatsala pang'ono kusweka, m'pofunika kulingalira zomwe mungachite kuti mukonze. Ngakhale mutalakwitsa pa chibwenzi chomwe chinayambitsa vuto lalikulu, yesetsani kuphatikizira mnzanuyo pazochitikazi. Zidzakuthandizani kupeza malingaliro owonjezereka komanso mnzanuyo adzadziwanso kuchuluka kwa ubalewo kumatanthauza kwa inu.
5. Nenani zolinga zanu momveka bwino
“Ine ndi David titangoyamba kuchezanso, ndinapeza mwayi womuululira za mtima wanga.” Pochita zimenezi, ndinali woona mtima 100% komanso womasuka za zolinga zanga ndi zimene ndinkayembekezera kukwaniritsa pofika pa udindo.
Iyi ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pa ndondomekoyi kuti mukonze zomwe zawonongeka muubwenzi ndikuyamba njira yobwezeretsa chidaliro mutatha kunama kapena kunyenga kapena kuvulaza mnzanu mwanjira ina iliyonse. Mwa kulankhula momveka bwino komanso momveka bwino, mukuwonetsa mnzanuyo ulemu womwe akuyenera komanso kuwalola kuti aone kuti mwadzipereka kukhala omasuka naye ngati angasankhe kukupatsani mwayi wina.
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6. Yesetsani kumvetsera mwachidwi
Ngati mukuyesetsa kukonza ubale womwe mudawononga, ndiye kuti muyenera kukhala okonzeka kumva zoona zenizeni komanso mawu owawa kapena ngakhale kukwiya kuchokera kwa mnzanu. Zachidziwikire, zina mwa izo zitha kukhala zoona, zina zimangowonetsa ululu womwe akukumana nawo. Koma palibe chomwe chidzakhala chosavuta kumva.
Christy akukumbukira kuti David ananena zinthu zopweteka zomwe zinapangitsa kuti mtima wake uwonongeke. “Kuposa zimene anali kunena, ndikuganiza, chenicheni chakuti munthu amene amandikonda kwambiri angamve motero ponena za ine chinali chovuta m’mimba mwa ine.” Nthaŵi zina ndinkangofuna kudzuka ndi kuchoka.
Iye anati: “Ndikuganiza kuti kunali kofunika kuti achotse katunduyo pachifuwa chake tisanayembekezere kuthetsa vutolo.” Kenako anazindikira kuti zina mwa zinthu zimene ananena zinali zosafunikira ndipo anapepesa moyenerera.
7. Lingalirani zomwe zidalakwika
Kodi mungakonze bwanji ubale womwe wawononga? Jui akulangiza kuti: “Ganizirani za chimene chinalakwika, mmene mukanachipulumutsira. Kudzifufuza kungakupatseni chitsimikizo chenicheni cha zomwe zidalakwika muubwenzi wanu, ndikukupangitsani kuchita mwanjira yomwe mukudabwa kuti mungachite chiyani ngati mwasokoneza ubale wanu.
Pankhani ya Christy, izi zikutanthauza kuti ayenera kubwereranso ku chibwenzi chake ndi Nolan kwa David. Pamene David ankamufunsa mafunso okhudza chibwenzicho, Christy ankamva ngati akubwereranso ku zochitika zosiyanasiyana za kudzimva kuti ndi wolakwa pambuyo pochita chinyengo kachiwiri. Ngakhale kuti sizinali zophweka kuti afotokoze tsatanetsatane ndipo kuti iye amve, onse awiri adamva kuti ndikofunikira kusiya nkhaniyi m'mbuyomu ndikuyambanso moyo watsopano.
“Panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, lingalirani za zikumbukiro zabwino ndi mmene unansiwo unayambitsidwira.” Kukumbukiranso nthaŵi za chikondi kudzakuthandizani kukhala bwino ndi kulingalira njira zowongolera unansiwo umene unawonongeka,” akuwonjezera motero Jui.
8. Mangani mlatho
Kuti muthe kuthetsa kuwonongeka kwa ubale ndikupita patsogolo, muyenera kumanga milatho m'malo mowotcha. Izi zikutanthauza kukulitsa nthambi ya azitona ndikudziwitsa mnzanuyo kuti mwakonzeka kusiya nkhani zakale ndikutembenuza tsamba latsopano. Komanso, kuwauza kuti mukuyembekeza ndikuyembekeza kuti nawonso angachite zomwezo.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati mwawononga ubale wabwino chifukwa cha nkhani zokhudzana ndi kudalirana , tsimikizirani mnzanuyo kuti ndinu wokonzeka kuchita zonse zomwe mungathe kuti mukhale odalirika kwambiri mu ubalewo. Nthawi yomweyo, funsani kuti akuuzeni momveka bwino komanso moona mtima ngati ndicho chomwe mukufunikira kuti muthe kuwakhulupiriranso.
“Inde, ndinawononga kwambiri ubwenzi wathu mwa kunyenga David.” Komabe, ndinali ndi vuto la kusakhutira kwanthaŵi yaitali limene linandichititsa kuwoloka malirewo. khalani naye bwino nthawi yomweyo, koma adabweranso, "akutero Christy
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9. Ganizirani za chikondi chimene munagawana
Mukafuna kukonza ubale womwe mudauwononga ndikuchiritsa limodzi ngati banja, ndikofunikira kukonzanso nthawi yaubwenzi wanu kukhala nthawi zovuta zonse ndi zovuta zisanayambe. Christy ndi David adakwaniritsa izi potengera mgwirizano wawo ngati ubale 2.0. Mkwiyo wonse, zowawa ndi zokhumudwitsa zitayikidwa pamenepo ndikuthana nazo, Christy adamupempha kuti apite naye.
“Panali chinthu chimodzi chokha chimene ndinamupempha—kuti tisanene za m’mbuyo, zivute zitani.” Inde, ndinawononga ubwenzi wanga koma tikadapitirizabe kuganizira za mbali imeneyo tokha, palibe njira imene tikanapitira patsogolo m’kukonzanso mgwirizano wathu.
Muyenera kuzindikira kuti “Ndawononga ubale wanga ndipo ndikufuna kuti ubwerere” kungakhale kungoganiza molakwika ngati kuwonongeka kwa ubale wanu kuli kwakukulu. Pali mwayi waukulu kuti zinthu sizingabwererenso momwe zinalili, koma mukamayesetsa nthawi zonse, mutha kuphunzira momwe mungapulumukire kusakhulupirika muubwenzi ndikuwumanganso kuyambira pachiyambi.
10. Pepani kuti muthetse vuto limene linawonongeka m’banja
Ngati mukuyesera kukonza ubale womwe mudawononga chifukwa cha chinyengo, dziwani kuti njira yopezera chibwezeretsedwe siidzakhala yophweka kapena yolunjika. Njira yokhayo yopitira patsogolo ndikuvomereza cholakwika chanu mosakayikira. Jui akugogomezera kuti, "Palibe cholakwika kuvomereza cholakwika chanu ndikupepesa nacho. Kupepesa koona mtima nthawi zonse kumakhululukidwa kotero ngati ubalewo ndi wofunika ndiye kuti musiye kudzikuza ndi kuvomereza cholakwika chanu."
N’zoona kuti mwina inunso munapepesa kapena munapepesa chifukwa cha zimene munalakwitsa m’mbuyomo. Makamaka, m'masiku oyamba aja poyesa kukonza ubale mudawononga. Mkwiyo ukatsika ndipo nonse muli odekha, odekha, komanso otopa, chitaninso. Muuzeni mnzanuyo momwe munamvera chisoni kwambiri ndipo mutsimikizireni kuti ndinu wokonzeka kuchita chilichonse chomwe chikufunika kuti mukonze.
11. Siyani zoyembekeza
Chochita ngati mwawononga ubale? Yesetsani kukhala ndi ziyembekezo zenizeni zokonza mavutowo, ndipo chofunika kwambiri, musaike mtolo pa ziyembekezo zanu kwa mnzanu. Musalankhule ndi mnzanuyo mutakhala kuti ubale wanu wasokonekera poyembekezera zotsatira zinazake.
Kumbukirani kuti zomwe mungachite ndikuyesetsa kukonza ubale womwe mudawononga. Zili kwa iwo kuti okondedwa anu abwezere kapena ayi. Podzimasula nokha ku ziyembekezo za zotsatira zokonzedweratu, mumayamba kuvomereza njira iliyonse yomwe zinthu zimayendera. Zikatero, ngati mutha kukonza ubale wanu, mudzatha kuuona kukhala wofunika kwambiri.
Christy anati: “David atachoka panyumba pathu, ndinali nditatsala pang’ono kutaya chiyembekezo choti n’zotheka kuthetsa chibwenzi changa.” Kenako atandiletsa, ndinasiya ngakhale pang’ono chabe.
12. Osakaniza mabatani awo
Ngati mwachita zinazake zomwe zasokoneza ubale wanu, kuzikankhira m’mphepete, n’zachibadwa kuti mnzanuyo angakhale pachiwopsezo. Pamene mukuyesera kumvetsetsa momwe mungakonzere ubale womwe mudasokoneza, samalani kuti musamakanize mabatani awo kapena kuwayambitsa mwanjira iliyonse.
Muyenera kupatsa mnzanu mpata woti athetse mavuto ake ndikupititsa patsogolo zinthu mwachangu momwe akumvera. Kumbukirani, malo anu paubwenzi ndi omwe amawagwirizanitsa. Komanso, mukakumana ndi zovuta zomwe zochita zanu zawononga ubale wanu ndikukankhira mnzanu kutali.
"Katswiri wanga adandithandiza kumvetsetsa kuti kutchulidwa kulikonse kwa Nolan komwe ndidayambitsa kungathetseretu kupita patsogolo komwe ndidapanga poyesa kukopanso chikondi cha David ndi chikondi chake.Choncho, ndinayesetsa kupeŵa kulankhula ndi njovu m'chipindamo mpaka atachita.Ngakhale pamenepo, ndinawona kuti David sakanatha kunena dzina lake. amapewa kutchula dzina lake ngakhale pang’ono.”
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13. Khalani ndi ulamuliro pa nkhani
Chochita ngati mwawononga ubale? Chabwino, pankhani yobwezeretsa ubale wanu ndi kuchira ngati banja, musayese kuubweza. Mukayesa kukonza ubale wosweka ndi chibwenzi chanu, zingamveke ngati mukuyenda mozungulira popanda kupita patsogolo. Ndicho chifukwa chake muyenera kukhala ndi dongosolo lochitira zinthu, kukhalabe ndi ulamuliro pa zokambirana, ndikupitilizabe kuwongolera zokambiranazo.
Nthawi zina ankafuna kuti ndifotokoze tsatanetsatane wa zimene zinkachitika pakati pa Nolan ndi ine.” Nthawi zina ankakonda kulankhula zaukali, kulimbana ndi ine kapena maubwenzi ena onse. Ndinkamulola kuti ndilankhule kwa nthawi ndithu, kenako n’kumulimbikitsanso kuti akambirane za tsogolo la ubwenzi wathu ndi Khristu komanso mmene tingathandizire pa nthawiyi.
14. Pewani kulakwa
Jui akulangiza kuti, "Kuimba mlandu munthu wina ndi chinthu chimodzi chomwe chimawononga maubwenzi ambiri abwino. Chifukwa chake, kupewa izi kumakhala kofunika kwambiri pamene mukuyesera kupulumutsa ubale womwe ukuima. Ngati mukufuna kukonza ndikusunga ubale wanu, mungafunike kusiya zinthu zingapo. Kuimba mlandu munthu winayo chifukwa cha mavuto anu paubwenzi kumangoyambitsa ming'alu yambiri muubwenzi wanu."
Mwachitsanzo, ngati mukuyesera kukonza chibwenzi chimene munachiwononga chifukwa cha bodza, musamamuimbe mlandu mnzanuyo pomuuza mawu ngati “Sindikananama mukanakhala kuti simunali wolamulira komanso wokayikira nthawi zonse. M'malo mwake, khalani ndi gawo lanu ndikusiya mwayi wokhala ndi zawo kwa okondedwa anu. Kaya azichita kapena ayi zili ndi iwo.
15. Khazikani mtima pansi
Ngati munalakwiridwa pachibwenzi chomwe chinatsala pang'ono kufa, muyenera kukonzekera njira yayitali yobwerera. Zilonda zimatenga nthawi kuti zichiritse, ndipo nthawi zina, ngakhale zipsera zimakhalabe - zimakukumbutsani nthawi zonse za chochitika choyipa chomwe chidatsala pang'ono kusokoneza mgwirizano wanu. Mukufuna kukonza ubale womwe unasokoneza, kudekha ndi bwenzi lako lapamtima.
Mwachitsanzo, Christy anadikira kwa miyezi ingapo kuti akambirane ndi David. Ngakhale awiriwa atakambirana koyamba maso ndi maso, zinatenga miyezi ingapo kuti alimbe mtima kumupempha kuti apite naye kokacheza kapena kuchita naye chilichonse chonga ngati chibwenzi. Musanalankhule ndi mnzanuyo kuti mukonzenso, khalani pansi ndi mutu wabwino ndikuwona ngati mukuganiza kuti ubale wanu ndi wofunika kuusunga . Ngati yankho ndi inde, ndiye kuti muyenera kuyesa kukonza ubale wanu.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 11 Zokhalira Oleza Mtima Mu Ubwenzi
16. Bweretsaninso chidaliro
“Ndawononga ubale wanga, ndingakonze bwanji?” Ngati funso ili lakhala likukupatsani tulo tofa nato, dziwani kuti kubwezeretsa chidaliro pambuyo poti chasweka n’kovuta kwambiri kuposa kupeza chidaliro cha wina poyamba. Muyenera kuchitapo kanthu kuti mubwezeretse chidaliro mu ubale wanu , ndipo musamamudzudzule mnzanuyo ngati akuvutika kuvomereza mawu ndi malonjezo anu pachokha.
Jui anati: “Ngati pali chinachake chimene munachita chimene chinachititsa kuti mnzanuyo asiye kukhulupirirana, muyenera kuyesetsa kwambiri kuti akubwezereni.
17. Gwirani ntchito limodzi ngati gulu
Ngati mukuyesetsa kukonza ubale pamene kukhulupirirana kwatha, kubweretsanso mzimu wa gulu kungathandize kwambiri kuti muchiritse monga banja. Kuti mukonze ubwenzi umene munauwononga chifukwa cha kunama kapena kukhumudwitsa mnzanuyo, muyenera kuwakumbutsa chifukwa chimene mukukhalira limodzi. Palibe chomwe chingayendetse bwino uthengawo kuposa kuyesa dzanja lanu pantchito zomanga timu zomwe zimafuna kuti mugwire ntchito limodzi.
Christy akuti womuthandizira adamuuza zolimbitsa thupi zomwe poyamba ankaganiza kuti zinali zopusa koma zowoneka bwino zidasintha momwe amaonera. “Katswiri wanga anandipempha kuti ndizichita nawo masewera a board kapena kuchita nawo zinthu limodzi ndi David zimene zinkafuna kuti tizigwira ntchito mogwirizana.” Choncho, tsiku lina ndinam’tengera m’nyumba kukwera miyala, ndipo pamene tinkathandizana kupita pamwamba, tinamva kuti timagwirizana kwambiri.
“Momwemonso, tinkaseŵera maseŵera ongodziŵika kuti mnzathu wina watsekedwa m’maso n’kugwera m’mbali mwake, ndipo winayo amayenera kuwagwira asanayambe kugunda pansi.” Chodabwitsa n’chakuti, masewerowa anathandiza kuyambiranso kukhulupirirana ndi kubwezeretsanso malingaliro a mgwirizano kuposa mawu aliwonse kapena zitsimikizo zimene zikanakhalapo,” akutero Christy.
18. Osadzipereka ku zomwe simungathe kuzipereka
Nthawi zambiri, pofunitsitsa kukonza chibwenzi chosweka ndi chibwenzi kapena chibwenzi chanu, mutha kupanga malonjezo omwe simungathe kukwaniritsa. Komabe, izi zimakupangitsani inu kulephera ndipo zimapangitsa kubwezeretsanso chikhulupiriro muubwenzi kukhala kovuta kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, David adafunsa Christy ngati angalole kusiya ofesi yake kapena kupempha kuti asamutsidwe kuti Nolan asakhalenso pachithunzipa.
"Chilakolako changa choyamba chinali choti ndinene inde, koma pansi pamtima ndinkadziwa kuti sichinali chinthu chomwe ndimafuna kapena chomwe ndinali wokonzeka kuchita ndipo sindinkafuna kuchita zinthu zosayenera muubwenzi . Ndinkakonda ntchito yanga komanso anthu omwe ndinkagwira nawo ntchito. Choncho, ndinamufotokozera kuti kusiya kapena kusamuka sikunali yankho la mavuto athu. Monga mwambi umanenera, munthu wachinyengo nthawi zonse amatha kupeza njira ndi njira zochitira zinthu zosayenera."
“Chomwe tinkafunikira m’malo mwake chinali chakuti David akhulupirire kuti ndinatanthauzadi pamene ndinati chirichonse cha mtundu wotero sichidzachitikanso.” Zimenezi zinam’kwiyitsa poyamba, ndipo anaona kuti kunali kusafuna kwanga kudzimana kaamba ka ubwenziwo.
19. Sungani malonjezo anu
Monga momwe kuli kofunika kuti musalonjeze zomwe simungathe kuchita, ndikofunikira kwambiri kusunga malonjezo omwe mumalonjeza. Ubale wosokonekera sungathe kubwezeretsedwanso ku thanzi pokhapokha ngati mnzanu yemwe walakwitsa ali wokonzeka kuchitapo kanthu kuti asonyeze kuti ali okonzeka kuchitapo kanthu kuti atsitsimutse mgwirizanowo.
Ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti mnzanu aziona kuti angakukhulupirireni ndipo palibe njira ina yabwino yochitira zimenezo kuposa kulola zochita zanu kudzilankhulira zokha. Mukasunga malonjezo omwe mumalonjeza mnzanu, mumasonyeza kuti mumawayamikira. Mukawona kuti mwayesetsa kukonza mavuto omwe adakusokonezani, mnzanuyo angadandaule kuti mwathetsa chibwenzicho ndipo angapatsenso mwayi wina.
David atapempha Christy kuti asiye ntchito kapena kuti asamuke, adamulonjeza kuti apewe mikhalidwe ina iliyonse yomwe iye ndi Nolan amayenera kukhala limodzi kunja kwa ntchito. “Zimenezi zinatanthauza kusiya ulendo wathu wamlungu ndi mlungu wa ku ofesi ndi kupempha abwana anga kuonetsetsa kuti ngati titapita kuntchito, ine ndi Nolan sanatumizidwe pamodzi.” Ngakhale kuti anthu ena a mu ofesiwo anali kupitanso.
20. Bweretsani chikondi mu ubale wanu
Gawo lovuta kwambiri poyesa kuthetsa mavuto muubwenzi ndi kubwezeretsa ubale wosiyana . Kupsompsonana koyamba kapena nthawi yoyamba pabedi pambuyo pa vuto lalikulu kungakhale kovuta komanso kodzaza ndi mantha. Christy ndi David adapambana vutoli poika patsogolo ubale wamaganizo ndi wakuthupi kuposa kugonana.
“M’malo mogona pamodzi chifukwa cha kutengeka maganizo, tinaganiza zoleka.” Zimenezo zinali zovuta chifukwa panali nthaŵi zina pamene tonsefe tinkafuna kutero.
Kugwirana manja pamene tikuonera TV, kupsompsonana nthawi zambiri, kukumbatirana pamene tikugona, ndi zina zotero. Zinali pamene tonsefe tinali otsimikiza kuti tinali okonzeka kupitirira chisokonezo ichi kuti tinagonana kwa nthawi yoyamba m'zaka zopitirira chaka chimodzi, "Christy akutero.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Chilankhulo cha Chikondi cha Nthawi Yabwino: Tanthauzo, Malingaliro ndi Zitsanzo
21. Yang'anani nthawi yocheza pamodzi
Kukonza ubwenzi umene mwauwononga n’chinthu chinanso n’kusiyana kwambiri ndi kuusungabe. Mawu akuti "Ndichita chilichonse kuti nditsitsimutse ubalewu" amatha, ndipo mumayambanso kuchita chimodzimodzi. Izi zikachitika, chiopsezo chogwera m'mikhalidwe yakale chimakhala chachikulu. Muyenera kuchitapo kanthu kuti ubwenzi wanu ukhale wolimba pa nthawi ngati zimenezi.
Zikatero, m’pofunika kuti tipewe zolakwika zimene tinachita m’mbuyomo ndipo tisamaganizire mopepuka. Mwachitsanzo, Christy ndi David akhazikitsa lamulo loti azidyera limodzi chakudya chamadzulo usiku uliwonse kenako n’kumacheza, kukambirana nkhani za masiku awo, kufunsa mafunso, kuseka, ndi kuonera mafilimu, asanamenye thumba. Izi zawathandiza kukhalabe ndi moyo mu ubale wawo 2.0.
Ndizotheka kukonza ubale wosweka womwe mudawononga ndikuchiritsa limodzi ngati banja, koma pamafunika khama komanso khama. Osati kokha kumbali yanu komanso ya mnzanuyo. Musanayambe kuyesa kusunga ubale wanu, onetsetsani kuti mnzanuyo ali wodzipereka kuti agwire ntchito monga inu. Kupanda kutero, kuyesayesa kwanu konse kukakhala kwachabe.
Ibibazo
Inde, unansi wosokonekera ukhoza kumangidwanso malinga ngati onse aŵiriwo ali ofunitsitsa kuchita khama ndi kuyesetsa kuthetsa nkhani zawo ndi kuyambanso. Komabe, muzochitika zotere, udindo wokonza zinthu umakhala wa mnzanu amene zochita zake zapangitsa kuti ubalewo uwonongeke.
Mukamanganso ubale womwe udawonongeka, mumafunikira kuleza mtima kwakukulu komanso kufunitsitsa kuti muthane ndi vuto ngakhale zitakhala zovuta bwanji. Chifukwa chake, ngati ubale wanu wasokonekera kwambiri ndipo ulusiwo ukuyenda bwino, ndikofunikira kuunikanso ndikuwunika ngati kuli koyenera kupulumutsa.
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