Momwe Mungathandizire Bwenzi Pothetsa Chibwenzi

Kutha, ngakhale zokondana kwambiri ndi zinthu zosokonekera, ngakhale zikuchitikira mnzako osati kwa inu. Momwe mungathandizire mnzako kuthetsa chibwenzi kungakhale funso lovuta. Mukufuna kukhala pamenepo, koma simukufuna kuwafooketsa. Mukufunadi kutchula wokondedwa wawo wakale mayina oyipa kwambiri omwe mungawaganizire, koma nthawi singakhale nthawi.

Komanso, kusudzulana kwachisoni kumakhala kwapadera kwa aliyense - zomwe zimakugwirirani ntchito mwina sizingagwire ntchito kwa mnzanu. Ndipotu zimene zimathandiza mnzako mmodzi sizingathandize mnzake. Tiyerekeze kuti muyenera kuthandiza bwenzi lakutali pakutha. Chitonthozo cha kukhalapo kwanu thupi sichikupezeka kwa iwo ndiye funso limakhala momwe mungathandizire mnzanu pakutha pameseji kapena mavidiyo.

Izi ndi zinthu zovuta kuthana nazo ngati mukufunadi kuchita ndi bwenzi lanu. A phunziro zawonetsa kuti 26.8% ya anthu amavutika ndi kukhumudwa pang'ono, pang'onopang'ono kapena koopsa pambuyo pa chibwenzi kutha. Tinatembenukira kwa Shazia Saleem (Masters in Psychology), yemwe amagwira ntchito yopereka upangiri wolekanitsa komanso kusudzulana, kuti athe kuzindikira bwino momwe angathandizire mnzako pakutha. Werengani kuti mudziwe momwe mungakhalire bwenzi lapamtima lomwe mungathe panthawi yovutayi.

Njira 11 Zothandizira Katswiri Zothandizira Bwenzi Kupyolera M'kusudzulana

Ndikwabwino kunena kuti “thandizani bwenzi lanu pothetsa chibwenzi” kapena a maubale oopsa, koma tiyeni tifotokoze mwachidule. Pali zinthu zomwe mumachita ndi zinthu zomwe simumazichita mukamaganizira momwe mungathandizire mnzanu pakutha. Taphatikiza mfundo zothandizidwa ndi akatswiri kuti zikuthandizeni kukhala bwenzi lapamtima panthawi yothana popanda kufowoketsa, kulemetsa kapena kutalikirana.

1. Amvereni popanda chiweruzo

Ah, kuweruza, malingaliro okopa ndi otopetsa omwe amakweza mutu wake nthawi zabwino kwambiri komanso zoyipa kwambiri. Zingakhale zophweka bwanji kupita kwa bwenzi lanu lomwe likutha ndikupita kuti, "Chabwino, ndinakuuzani, sichoncho! Inu munali ndi ndalama zambiri / munachita zochepa kwambiri / mulibe mphamvu zokwanira ... "

Taganizirani izi. Ndi zomwe mungafune kumva pamene mukuyesera kutero kuthana ndi kusweka mtima, ndipo mtima wako wasweka ndi kuwawa? N’chifukwa chiyani uyenera kupereka chiweruzo pamene mnzakoyo ali wonyozeka komanso wachisoni? (Mutha kuchita izi mwachinsinsi ndi bwenzi lina pambuyo pake).

“Ngati wina sachita bwino, akakhala wopsinjika maganizo, wachisoni kapena wosokonezeka, monga momwe anthu amachitira akatha kulekana, m’pofunika kumumvetsera mosaganizira,” akutero. Shazia. Osalowerera ndale komanso osawaweruza pamene akulankhula.

Pothandiza mnzanu wapamtima mwa kutha, simuyenera kudabwa momwe mungathandizire mnzanu pakutha. Ndipotu, ndinu ogwirizana kwambiri ndipo mwina mwadziwana kwa zaka zambiri. Koma, chibadwa chaumunthu sichimagwirizana, ndipo chiweruzo chikhoza kubwera mu ubale wabwino kwambiri. Yesetsani kumvetsera bwino, ndipo mulole mnzako anene.

2. Perekani thandizo lothandiza monga kugwira ntchito zapakhomo ndi ntchito zawo

Julie anati: “Ndimavutika kwambiri ndi kuchulukitsitsa kwamalingaliro ndi kupereka chitonthozo,” akuulula motero Julie, “mnzanga wina anasudzulana moipa, ndipo pamene ndinayesa kukhala gwero lake ndi kulira, sindinali waluso pa zimenezo.

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Julie anayamba kubweretsa chakudya kwa bwenzi lake kangapo pamlungu kuti atsimikizire kuti akudya. Anatsuka mbale, kukagula zinthu, ndi kumuchitira tintchito ting’onoting’ono. Iye anati: “Ndimakonda kuchita zinthu mwanzeru, ndipo mwa njira imeneyi, mnzangayo ankatha kugwedezeka n’kukhala pansi popanda kukhala ndi nyumba ya chipwirikiti komanso mndandanda wa ntchito zapakhomo.

Komabe, Shazia akuchenjezanso kuti chithandizo chamtunduwu chiyenera kuperekedwa ndi kuchitidwa ndi chilolezo (Inde, chilolezo Ndiwofunikanso muubwenzi). "Perekani chithandizo chothandiza ndi chilolezo cha bwenzi lanu, aloleni kuti azikhala ndi moyo wabwinobwino momwe angathere. Ndikofunikira kukumbukira kuti kupatukana ndi gawo la moyo. Perekani chithandizo chothandiza, komanso mulole kuti akhale odziimira okha. Ingokhalani nawo ngati pakufunika kapena pakufunika," akutero.

3. Pangani malo otetezeka kuti atulukire

Kodi mungathandizire bwanji mnzanu pakutha? Onetsetsani kuti ali ndi malo komanso malo otulutsiramo. Ikhoza kukhala malo akuthupi, kutali ndi malo othawirako kapena malo omwe adagawana nawo ndi mnzake wakale. Kungakhalenso malo okhudzidwa kumene akudziwa kuti angathe kulankhula nanu popanda mantha kapena manyazi.

Shazia anati: “Khalani womvetsera mwatcheru, athandizeni kutulutsa zonse popanda kuyankhapo ngati zili zabwino kapena zoipa. Kupatula apo, simukufuna kutero kuthetsa kutha kwa ubwenzi Ena.

Pamene mukuyesera kuthandiza mnzanu kupyolera mu chiwonongeko choopsa, ndikofunika kuti azikhala otetezeka ndi inu. Talankhula kale za kukhala osaweruza momwe tingathere powamvetsera, koma ndi bwinonso kukhala ofunda ndi olimbikitsa. Bweretsani zokhwasula-khwasula, zilowetseni mu ngodya ya sofa kapena mulowe nawo mu mpira pansi ngati ndi kumene iwo ali.

Mukathandiza mnzanu wapamtunda kuti athetse vuto, khalani pa wailesi kapena kanema kanema nthawi yonse yomwe akufunikira. Mwanjira imeneyo, ali ndi mawu anu ndi / kapena nkhope yanu ndipo sadzakhala okha. Khalani pa kuyitana mpaka iwo agone ngati mungathe. Mfundo yaikulu ndikuwatsimikizira kuti sali okha.

4. Osalankhula zoipa za wakale wawo

Tikudziwa, tikudziwa. Simunasangalalepo ndi munthu yemwe anali pachibwenzi ndipo uwu si mwayi wabwino kwambiri wokokera munthu wakale pamakala akusakonda kwanu kwambiri. Chenjezo: Ino si nthawi yake.

Zedi, pamene inu mukuganiza za mmene kuthandiza bwenzi kupyola mu chisudzulo, inu mukulingalira kusweka achisoni ndondomeko kukhala wodzala ndi ukali motsutsana ndi mnzawo wakale. Koma, mwina sangakhale okonzeka kusiya mkazi wawo wakale, kapena kuwachitira chipongwe pakali pano. Ndipo kuchita kwanuko kungakuikireni m’chiyanjo choipitsitsa monga momwe mumathandizira mnzanu kuthetsa chisudzulo choopsa. Ndiye ngakhale mnzako akudabwa kuti, 'ndimulembe meseji ex wanga', ingowasokoneza kapena kunena mwamphamvu kuti ayi.

"Musalankhule zoipa za wakale; kulemekeza nthawi ndi mgwirizano womwe adagawana nawo ndikofunikira kwambiri. Apanso, akumbutseni kuti palibe vuto kuti muthe kutha. Yesetsani kuzisintha ndikuwathandiza kuti apite patsogolo m'moyo. Kulankhula koyipa kwa mnzanu wakale sikungapangitse kuti zinthu zikhale bwino," Shazia akuchenjeza.

Ndi zotheka monga inu kuthandiza bwenzi wamkazi mwa kutha, kapena kuthandiza bwenzi mwamuna kudutsa chisudzulo, kuti m'kupita kwa nthawi adzafika malo amene ali okonzeka kusiya wakale ndi kuwatcha snot-nkhope chule. Koma mpaka akafika kumeneko, n’kwanzeru kuugwira mtima, apo ayi udzapeza kuti uli mkati kuwongolera mkwiyo makalasi.

5. Athandizeni kupeza thandizo la akatswiri ngati kuli kofunikira

"Mnzanga wapamtima anali kudutsa moipa kwambiri. Ndinalipo kwa iye monga momwe ndikanakhalira, koma posakhalitsa ndinazindikira kuti sikunali kokwanira. Iye anali wopsinjika maganizo, mopanda ntchito ndipo ntchito yake inayamba kuvutika. Ndinayamba kusonyeza kuti mwinamwake anafunikira kulankhula ndi katswiri. Iye sanachite bwino kwambiri poyamba, koma pamapeto pake, iye anasiya. Icho chinali chosankha chabwino kwambiri chimene anapanga, "akutero Mick.

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Anzanu, abale, okondedwa akuzungulirani ndizodabwitsa. Koma, pali nthawi zina pomwe wothandizira ophunzitsidwa bwino ndi omwe amafunikira. Khutu lopanda tsankho, kumvetsera mwachidwi, ndi wina amene sangazengereze kukuitanani akhoza kukhala zomwe mtima wanu ndi ubongo wanu zimafuna.

"Yesani kudziwa ngati bwenzi lanu likufunika thandizo la akatswiri panthawi imeneyo. Ngati inde, mutsogolereni ndi kuwathandiza kuti apeze chithandizo ndi kutuluka m'mavuto a maganizo," Shazia akulangiza.

Kumbukirani, palibe manyazi kupempha thandizo kapena kuthandiza mnzanu kupeza katswiri wodziwa. Ndipotu nthawi zina, chingakhale chinthu chabwino kwambiri chimene mungachite pothandiza mnzanu wapamtima kuthetsa banja. Ngati mukuganiza kuti akufunika chithandizo, Bonobology's gulu la akatswiri odziwa zachipatala nthawi zonse amakhalapo kuti akuthandizeni.

6. Musathamangire ndondomekoyi

Aliyense ali ndi nthawi yake, makamaka ikafika pakumva chisoni ndi kuchira. Chifukwa chake, sichabwino kumenya munthu kumbuyo ndikumuuza mwachimwemwe kuti "athane nazo". Ngakhale zinthu monga “mupeza posachedwapa munthu wabwino” kapena “sanali ofunika mulimonse” ndi bwino anasiyidwa unsaid, kaya mukuyesera kuthandiza bwenzi wamkazi mwa kutha kapena kuthandiza bwenzi mwamuna kudutsa kutha.

Chisoni cha kutha kwa munthu aliyense ndi chosiyana magawo a chisoni pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja zikhoza kusiyana. Ena amatha kuthana nawo mwachangu, ena amatha kukhala ndi nkhope yolimba mtima pomwe akuyamwitsa mtima wosweka pansi. Ndipo ena angangotenga nthawi kuti apitirize, ndipo sayesa kubisa.

Kuti mumve zambiri zamakanema akatswiri chonde lembani ku Youtube Channel yathu. Dinani apa.

Kotero, mumatani pamene mukudabwa momwe mungathandizire mnzanu kupyolera mu kutha koma sakuwoneka kuti akufuna kapena kuvomereza thandizo ndikupitiriza kugwa? Ndi zophweka: mumawapatsa nthawi. Ziribe kanthu momwe mungafune kuti apite patsogolo ndi kukhalanso osangalala, simungawapangitse chisoni mofulumira, inunso simuyenera.

Lolani bwenzi lanu likhale, lisiyeni alire pa nthawi yake. Dziwani kuti ngati kupatukanako kunali koopsa kwambiri, kapena ngati ubalewo unali wautali kapena wolimba, kuchira kumakhala pang'onopang'ono, ndipo kwenikweni, pangakhale zipsera zomwe zimakhalapo mpaka kalekale. Kukhala nawo moleza mtima ndi zonse zomwe muyenera kuchita.

7. Limbikitsani matumba ang'onoang'ono achimwemwe

Mwinamwake mukudabwa momwe mungathandizire mnzanu kupyolera mu chilekano pa lemba, kapena kuyesera kuthandiza bwenzi lapamtima mwa kutha. Mulimonse momwe zinthu zilili, ngakhale kuli kofunika kuwapatsa nthawi ndi kuwalola kukhala ndi chisoni chawo ndi malingaliro aliwonse omwe ali nawo, ndikofunikiranso kulimbikitsa mphindi zazing'ono zachisangalalo ndi mawonekedwe ena a 'zachilendo'. Kukhulupirika m'malingaliro panthawi yakutha ndikofunikanso kukhulupirika kwamalingaliro mu maubwenzi.

David anati: “Ndinkayesetsa kuthandiza mnzanga wakutali kuti ndithetse banja. "Anali kuvutitsa kwambiri, ndipo ndinkafuna kuonetsetsa kuti nthawi zina amawonekera, nthawi zina pamene adatuluka m'chifuwa chake chachisoni. Ndinkamutumizira nthabwala zazing'ono kamodzi pa masiku angapo, ndinkapatsidwa zakudya zomwe ankazikonda kwambiri, ndipo ngakhale kumutumizira manotsi a mawu a ine kuimba nyimbo zoopsa."

Davide ankadziwa kuti bwenzi lakelo liyenera kulira ndipo anali wokonzeka kumupatsa nthawi ndi nthawi yake, ngakhale kuti anali mtunda wautali. Koma adazindikiranso kuti ngati bwenzi lake likudzibisa yekha mu kusamvetsetsa bwino, ingakhale njira yayitali, yochepetsera kuchira.

Pali mzere wabwino pakati pa kulimbikitsa mnzako kugonja ku chisangalalo ndi kuwakankhira kunja kwa malo achisoni omwe sanakonzekere kuchoka panobe. Onetsetsani kuti mwalemba mzere umenewo. Khalani ochenjera, oleza mtima, pezani njira zazing'ono zowasangalatsa popanda kuwafooketsa.

8. Athandizeni kudzisamalira

Kaya ndikuwachitira tsiku la spa kapena kuwathandiza ndi ntchito, kuthandizira kudzisamalira ndi gawo lalikulu la momwe mungathandizire mnzanu pakutha. Tikakhala okhudzidwa kwambiri ndi zoopsa zamtundu uliwonse, nthawi zambiri timayiwala kudzisamalira tokha. Ngakhale zofunikira, monga kudya bwino, kugona mokwanira ndi kusamba zingawoneke ngati ntchito zolemetsa pamene mukulimbana ndi kulekana, makamaka ngati kuvutika maganizo kukuyamba.

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Kristen akukumbukira kuti: “Ndinatha milungu pafupifupi iwiri kuchokera pamene ndinatha. "Ndinadumpha kudya, osasintha zovala zanga zogona - zomwe ndimafuna kuchita ndikukhala pabedi ndikulira."

Anzake apamtima a Kristen anamuzungulira. Ankaonetsetsa kuti amadya osachepera kawiri patsiku. Anamukokera kunja kuti akamukonzere manicure ndi kumeta tsitsi ndipo adadabwa ndi momwe zidathandizira. Anamulimbikitsanso kuti azigwira ntchito zinazake komanso kuti alowe m’kalasi youmba mbiya.

Nthawi zina, sizingakhale zophweka ngati misomali yokongola komanso zosangalatsa zatsopano. Tikukondabe kwambiri kulimbikitsa mnzanu kuti apeze thandizo la akatswiri ngati mukuganiza kuti likufunika. Koma kudzikonda ndipo kudzisamalira kumatipangitsa kuti tizidzimvanso bwino komanso kutiuza kuti ndife ofunika ngakhale ndi mtima wosweka.

9. Kumbukirani, ndi za iwo, osati inu

Zimakhala zokopa kudziika pakatikati pa vuto, monga momwe mumathandizira mnzanu pakutha. Koma tiyeni tikumbukire kuti uku ndi kutha kwawo, ubale wawo ndi malingaliro awo, osati anu. Momwe mungafune kulowa munkhani yawo ndi, "Ndiroleni ndikuuzeni zomwe zidachitika ndi ine," yesani kudziletsa.

Nkhani yake ndi yakuti, mungaganize kuti mukuwatonthoza ndi kuwatsimikizira kuti sali okha m’malingaliro awo. Koma ndi zophweka kwambiri kuwoloka mzere umenewo kugawa chifundo ndi kudzikonda, pakati chikondi chodzikonda ndi chikondi chopanda dyera.

Mwachitsanzo, tangoganizani akukuuzani mmene mnzawo wakale ankaphikira chakudya chimene ankachikonda kwambiri, kapena sanaphike n’komwe, monga mmene zinalili. Ndipo inu kugwirizana ndi, "O mulungu wanga, izo ndi ndendende zimene zinachitika mu ubale wanga wotsiriza" ndiyeno pitirizani kulankhula za mavuto anu ndi wakale wanu ndi chakudya mumaikonda ndi momwe inu simungakhoze kuiwala mmene zimakupangitsani kumva.

Ngakhale mutakhala wachifundo chotani, simudzadziwa momwe munthu wina akumvera ngakhale mutakhala pafupi naye kwambiri. Ndipo kufotokoza nkhani zanu ndikugawana zofanana zanu kumakuyikani pakati pa zinthu. Ino si nthawi kapena malo anu. Lolani kuti chibwenzi cha mnzako chikhale chofunikira kwambiri pakadali pano. Ndipo mwachiyembekezo, adzachitanso chimodzimodzi ikafika nthawi yanu yotulutsa mawu.

10. Tsimikizirani mmene akumvera

Mvetserani, bwenzi lanu likudutsa mu chisudzulo adzakhala ndi mitundu yonse ya malingaliro, ndipo ndi zotheka kwathunthu kuti iwo sangakhale omveka kwa inu. Padzakhala mkwiyo, chisoni, kukwiyira, kunyada, kudzikweza, kukana… mumapeza lingaliro. Ndipo mwina padzakhalanso nthawi yomwe adzaumirira kuyendetsa galimoto kudutsa nyumba yawo yakale nthawi 12 patsiku kapena kuphwanya matayala awo.

Sitikunena kuti mumapereka kwa aliyense wa zofuna zawo, koma sikupweteka kumwetulira ndi kugwedeza pamene akunena kuti, "Mulungu, NDIMADANA naye", sekondi imodzi, "Sindingathe kukhala popanda iye!", misozi yotsatira.

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Pamene akudabwa mmene kuthandiza mnzako mwa kutha, kuwauza kuti ndi bwino kukwiyira wakale wawo, mokwiya ndi rant za iwo, pamene akusowa iwo ndipo nthawi zina ngakhale ndi chikondi za iwo. Chikondi sichizimitsidwa mosavuta tikafuna kutero, ndipo mchitidwe wachisoni wa kupatukana ndi wosokoneza, wovuta.

Osadzichepetsa kwa bwenzi lanu ndikupangitsa kuti amve ngati malingaliro awo sali omveka chifukwa sakumveka komanso akuwoneka opanda nzeru kwa inu. Maubwenzi apamtima sakhala omveka nthawi zonse, osati pamene akutha.

11. Khalani okonzeka kukumana ndi zokwera ndi zotsika

Pamene mukuganiza kuti akhoza kuchiritsa kapena kuchita zinthu zoonekeratu kuti achite bwino, bwenzi lanu kudutsa chisudzulo akukuitanani pakati pa usiku kulira mosisima mtima wawo, osagona kugona ndi wotsimikiza kubwerera pamodzi ndi bwenzi lawo lakale.

Inde, sizikanakhala zabwino ngati kulira kwa chisudzulo kunali kwabwino, kosavuta, komanso kofanana. Mnzanuyo angapitirire patsogolo, atenge upangiri wanu wonse wamalingaliro abwino, olimba, sinthani ndipo pamapeto pake mupeze bwenzi latsopano labwino ndikukhala naye kosatha. Ndiye mukhoza kupitiriza kulankhula za zoyenera ndi zosayenera za maubale atsopano, m’malo mongonyalanyaza malangizo othetsa banja.

Takutumizirani nkhani. Chisoni sichigwira ntchito motero. Chikondi sichigwira ntchito choncho. Ngakhale ubale wamba sagwira ntchito mwanjira imeneyo pamene ukutha, makamaka ngati ndi kusiyana pang'ono mwamtendere. Padzakhala kusuntha masitepe awiri kutsogolo ndi sitepe imodzi kumbuyo ndipo muyenera kuthana nazo.

Osasewera khadi la 'koma unali bwino dzulo chabe'. Ndizosathandiza pakadali pano. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti mumalola mnzanu kuti abwererenso m'malo ozama achisoni. Atsogolereni pang'onopang'ono kubwerera kumalo abwinoko popanda kumveka ngati ndi chitsiru kuti abwerere. Palibe amene ananena kuti chisoni chinali chophweka.

Poganizira mmene mungathandizire mnzanu pamene banja linatha, kumbukirani kuti iyi ndi njira yabwino yolira maliro. Kusudzulana ndi imfa yaubwenzi, ndipo gawo lalikulu la ziyembekezo ndi maloto a mnzanu zangosweka. Ngakhale anali a mgwirizano wopanda zingwe, n’kutheka kuti ankayembekezera kuti chidzakhala chikondi chodzipereka.

Musaganize kuti chifukwa sichinawoneke ngati ubale womwe unali 'woopsa', zimapweteka pang'ono pamene utha. Pamene inu mukudabwa mmene kuthandiza bwenzi mwa kutha, izo zonse za kuika chiweruzo pambali ndi kukhala pamenepo kwa iwo m'njira iliyonse ayenera.

Tonse timachira pamapeto pake, koma si njira yachangu kapena yosavuta. Monga bwenzi, mungafunike kukhalapo nthawi yayitali ndikuyendetsa bwenzi lanu mobwerezabwereza. Zikumveka zotopetsa, koma monga tanenera, kutha, maubwenzi, ubwenzi, zonse zitha kukhala zovuta. Choncho sonyezani chikondi cholimba pakafunika, sonyezani kuleza mtima, sungani zokhwasula-khwasula zosatha, ndipo mwachiyembekezo, iwo adzatuluka amphamvu ndi osangalala. Monga momwe Shazia akunenera, “Ingokhalanipo monga bwenzi, osayesa kuchita zinthu mopambanitsa. Zabwino zonse!

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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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