Kodi Kupatula Nthawi Mu Ubwenzi Kumagwiradi Ntchito?

Kufalitsa chikondi

"Ndipo zadziwika kale kuti chikondi sichidziwa kuya kwake mpaka nthawi yopatukana." Mizere yokongola ya Khalil Gibran imagwira zomwe tikukamba lero, ndipo izi zikutenga nthawi paubwenzi. Anthu ambiri amadzifunsa ngati kupatukana paubwenzi kuli lingaliro labwino kapena momwe danga laubwenzi liyenera kuyendetsedwera. Kodi kusakhalako kumapangitsadi kuti mtima ukukonde? Kodi nthawi yotalikirana ndi yabwino kwa ubale? Kodi kukhala patali kumathandiza banja? Nkhani imene tafotokoza lero ikusonyezadi zimenezo.

Timakonda kupeputsa momwe anzathu angatikhudzire, ndipo mtunda umatigwedeza pang'onopang'ono ndi mapewa kutikumbutsa kufunika kwake. Ubale wabwino, wathanzi umachepetsa nkhawa ndikuwonjezera mwayi wathu wokhala ndi moyo wautali. Chotero tinganene kuti okondedwa athu ndi magwero a chikhutiro chamalingaliro, kugonana, ndi uzimu m’miyoyo yathu.

Koma timazolowera kukhalapo kwawo kotero kuti zimakhala zosavuta kuti tiyambe kunyalanyaza magawo athu abwino ndikuyamba kuyang'ana kwambiri zoyipa zawo. Mwinanso tingayambe kudana nawo kapena kuwakwiyira. Chifukwa chake, kuthera nthawi yotalikirana mu maubwenzi kungapangitse chinyengo kukupangitsani kuyamikirana wina ndi mnzake ndikuzindikira chifukwa chomwe mudakondana poyamba. Tiye timve za ulendo umene Henry ndi Amanda anatenga tisanakhale olimba.

Kupatula Nthawi Paubale Kuti Ulimbitse

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Nthawi zonse zimakhala zotonthoza kudziwa kuti wina wayima pomwe tili pano. Kuti wina wadutsa m'chipwirikiti chomwe chili m'mitu yathu pakali pano. Mfundo yakuti iwo ayenda mtunda wa makilomita mu nsapato zathu, ndipo amaliza bwino, imatipatsa chitsimikiziro cha mtundu wina. Mwinanso tidzakhala bwino, ngakhale nsapato zitakhala zosasangalatsa. Nkhani yawo ndi zochitika zawo zingatipatse chiyembekezo ndi chilimbikitso pamene tikuyamba ulendo wathu. Ichi ndichifukwa chake tikubweretserani nkhani iyi yomwe ingakupatseni kumvetsetsa bwino za nthawi yotalikirana muubwenzi komanso momwe zingakuthandizireni. Kotero, apa izo zikupita.

Muyenera kukumana ndi Henry ndi Amanda (mayina asinthidwa kuti ateteze kudziwika) kamodzi kokha kuti mudziwe kuti ndi gulu limodzi. Ndipo palibe amene angagonjetsedwe. Kukumana ndi banja lomwe limagwirizana kwambiri ndi chinthu choyamikirika (osatchulanso zachilendo). Ndinkadziwa kuti ndiyenera kufotokoza nkhani yawo chifukwa inatsimikiziranso chikhulupiriro changa pa chikondi mutakwatirana. Ndadzifunsa ndekha kuti, “Kodi kukhala kutali ndi nthawi muubwenzi ndi chinthu chabwino?” Mu nkhani yawo, ndapeza yankho.

momwe nthawi yotalikirana pachibwenzi ilibe vuto — Kodi nthawi yotalikirana muubwenzi ndiyabwino?

Pambuyo potsimikizira, ndikulonjeza zachinsinsi, Henry adakhala nane pansi pa ma cappuccinos angapo ndikulongosola momwe adathera pomwe anali. Ngakhale kuti poyamba ndinkafuna kulemba za ukwati wolimba umene iwo anamanga, nkhani yake inanditengera njira ina yatsopano. Anapitiliza kunena kuti kupatula nthawi yolimbikitsa ubale ndi lingaliro labwino kwambiri lomwe amalilimbikitsa mwamphamvu kwa aliyense amene amakumana naye.

Iye ananena kuti kukhala patali paubwenzi kunathandiza kwambiri banja lake. Nkhani yawo ndi imene inandipatsa maganizo otsitsimula pankhani ya zachikondi.

Henry amalankhula za chiyambi chawo ...

Onse okonza ndi ntchito, tinayamba kukondana pamene tinakumana ku yunivesite. Zaka ziwiri titakhala pachibwenzi, tinayambitsa kampani yathu yojambula. Adapanga zokhutira, pomwe ine ndidapanga zojambula. Tinali okondwa, oyendetsedwa, ndipo tinali ndi luso lokhazikitsidwa kuti tidziwe kuti tidzapambana. Inali nkhani ya nthawi chabe.

Usiku, chipinda changa chaching'ono chogona chimodzi chinali malo athu okondana, ndipo masana, malo athu ogwirira ntchito. Titafika kwa kasitomala wathu wa 40 tinasamuka m'nyumba yathu n'kupita ku nyumba yobwereka. Tsiku limenelo ndi limene ndinamufunsira ndi lingaliro lapadera la ukwati lomwe sakanatha kuliiwala. Ndipo anati inde, inde, ndipo nthawi zambiri, inde. Ndikukumbukira kuti tinakondwerera mwambowu ndi botolo la champagne ndi buledi wa adyo.

Kuofesi, tinali gulu la 5 ndikukula. Ine ndi Amanda tonse ndife anthu amphamvu, kotero kuti moto unkauluka pafupipafupi, koma tinkapondereza kudzikonda kwathu kuti tipindule ndi kampaniyo. Ndipo tonse aŵirife tinagwira ntchito mpaka mafupa. Tsiku logwira ntchito bwino linali pafupifupi maola 13-14. Koma sitinathe kudandaula. Kampani yathu inali m’chaka chachisanu ndi chiwiri, ukwati wathu m’chaka chachinayi, ndipo ntchito inachuluka kuchokera kumbali zonse.

Zinkawoneka surreal kuti tinali kukana makasitomala mlungu uliwonse. Tinali paulendo ndipo kutenga nthawi yosiyana muubwenzi chinali chinthu chomwe tikanaseka kale. Tinkafuna kuwonjezera gulu lathu kuti tigwire ntchito zambiri, koma sitinapeze luso loyenera komanso mgwirizano; uku sikunali California kapena New York. Kenako Amanda anayamba kudandaula chifukwa cha kutopa, kugona, kupweteka m'mafupa ndi zina zotero.

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Ndipo zinthu zidatsika

Ankafuna kuti apume pantchito, achepetse pang'ono. Sindinamvetse. Tinali kale operewera. Kodi palibe nthawi ndi malo a chilichonse? Ndinkafuna kumuuza kuti panopa sitingakwanitse. Kupatula apo, ndinali kutenga moto wamakasitomala. Ndinali wosasangalala kwambiri. Sanali wosangalala kwambiri ndi iyeyo komanso ine.

Pamene ankadzikakamiza kwambiri, m’pamenenso ankakwiya kwambiri, ndipo m’pamenenso makope ake omaliza anali ndi zolakwika zambiri. Tinayenera kugulitsa makina owerengera zinthu, ndalama zomwe tikanazipewa mosavuta. Anaulula, miyezi ingapo pambuyo pake, kuti apa m’pamene anayamba kuganiza zopatukana kuti alimbitse ubwenziwo. Panthawi imeneyo, sindinamvetsetse chifukwa chake muyenera kupatsa mnzanuyo nthawi kutali ndi chibwenzi. Ine moona mtima ndimaganiza kuti zikutanthauza kuti zingowonetsa kutha kwa ubale. Koma sizili choncho.

Tinanyamula nkhawa za kuntchito kupita nazo kuchipinda chathu chogona ndipo nkhawa za kuchipinda chogona kupita nazo kuntchito kwathu. Anandinena kuti sindinamvetse pamene ine ndimamunena kuti amandiimba mlandu nthawi zonse. Zinkaoneka ngati palibe njira yoti tisiye kumenyana muubwenzi ndipo tinayamba kusamvana, popanda kupuma. (Panthawiyo, sindinkadziwa bwino lingaliro lopatula nthawi muubwenzi.)

Titamupeza, ndinazindikira kuti anali ndi vuto lachilendo lomwe sililola kuti malingaliro ndi thupi zipume. Kotero ngakhale atagona pansi ndi kutseka maso ake, thupi lake silingalowe m'malo opumula ndi kukonzanso monga momwe timachitira. Malingaliro ndi thupi lake zikanapitirizabe kugwira ntchito, motero kutopa ndi kupsa mtima kwakukulu kunkayamba.

Inakwana nthawi yopumira...

Ngakhale tinali ndi mafotokozedwe omveka a zovuta za ubale wathu, sizinathetse nkhani zathu zothandiza. Tinali ndi masiku omalizira, ntchito zambiri, kupsa mtima ndi kusiya ntchito. Amanda anasamukira ku Jersey City, chifukwa palibe dokotala m’dera lathu amene anali ndi mphamvu yothana ndi matenda ake. Ine ndinatsalira; Ndinalibe mwayi wotseka sitolo ndi kumuthandiza panthawi yovuta kwambiri. Ngakhale kuti ankamvetsa zimenezo, sindinali kumuthandiza panthawi imene ankandifuna kwambiri.

Atalandira mankhwalawo ndi kuzolowera moyo wake watsopano, anabwerera. Tinayesa kubwerera ku moyo wabwinobwino koma sizinali zophweka. Chisoni m'banjamo chinapitirira; iye anandikwiyira chifukwa chosamvetsa vuto lake asanadziwike kuti ali ndi vuto. Ndikanadziwa kuti china chake chaching'ono sichikanamulepheretsa. Sitikanatha kuthetsa vutoli.

Linali lingaliro lake kukhala padera. Ndinkakayikira. “Kodi nthawi yotalikirana ndi yabwino kwa banja?” Ndinadzifunsa ndekhandekha. Koma ndinasamuka n’kukakhala kwa mnzanga. Ndipo apa ndi pamene zonse zinayamba kugwera pamalo ake. Gawo limenelo ndi pamene ndinaphunzira momwe nthawi yotalikirana muubwenzi imagwirizanitsa anthu.

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Kodi Kupatula Nthawi Mu Ubale Ndi Bwino? Mwachiwonekere Ndiye!

Zinali zopanda pake zomwe tonsefe tinazimva, kwambiri. Tinakhala chizolowezi kwa zaka zambiri. Ndinkamwa mkaka, ankapanga kapu ya m'mawa ya Joe. Tinkakambirana mitu yanyuzi pa tiyi ndi mabisiketi. Kukambitsirana kwa chakudya cham'mawa kunayambitsa nthawi yathu yogwira ntchito.

Mitsuko pa nthawi ya ntchito imaphwanyidwa pa supu yotentha pa 3 koloko pabedi, ndipo gawo lachidziwitso likhoza kusokonezedwa ndi ubongo wadzidzidzi momwe mungagulitsire kasitomala watsopano. Maola opanikizika okhotakhota pakompyuta amatha kumasulidwa kudzera mukupaka phazi kapena kutikita mapewa.

Mndandandawu unkaoneka wopanda malire. Kuphonya zinthu zazing'ono ndi zazikulu zomwe anthu awiri okhala limodzi amabweretserana sikunalinso kophweka. Kodi nthawi yosiyana ndi yabwino paubwenzi? Inde, chifukwa mumamvetsa zomwe zili zofunika kwambiri. Masiku 28 omwe tinkakhala mosiyana anatipangitsa kuzindikira kuti moyo wathu pamodzi unali wokongola. Kupatula apo, sizinali zosangalatsa kudya chakudya cham'mawa nokha, chakudya sichinali chokoma mofanana. Ndipo kulowa m'nyumba yopanda anthu kunali ngati kudzibaya nokha madzulo aliwonse.

Kupatukanaku kudapangitsa kuti mkwiyo 'wamkulu' uwoneke ngati wopusa komanso wovuta. Nthawi zina kukhala patali pa chibwenzi ndi mphatso yabwino kwambiri yomwe munthu angapereke kwa bwenzi lake. Kuyambira tsiku limenelo zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi zapitazo, kutali kwambiri komwe tafika ndi khomo lalikulu.

(Monga adauza Raksha Bharadia)

Ubwino Ndi Kuipa Kwa Kutenga Nthawi Pa Ubale

Chifukwa chomwe anthu ambiri amaopa kutenga nthawi yopuma pachibwenzi ndichakuti amada nkhawa kuti izi zingawapangitse kukhala kutali kwambiri kuposa kale. Ngakhale kuti sizili choncho, komabe n'zotheka. Mwachitsanzo, ngati muli pachibwenzi chomwe chili pafupi kutha, kutenga nthawi yopuma kungathandize kuti zinthu zikuyendereni bwino.

Ziribe kanthu momwe ubale wanu ungakhalire, apa pali zabwino ndi zoyipa zochepa zopezera nthawi kutali wina ndi mnzake muubwenzi. Mwa izi, mupeza mayankho a mafunso monga, "Chifukwa chiyani muyenera kupatsa mnzanu nthawi?" “Kodi kukhala patali kuli ndi phindu lililonse paubwenzi?”

ubwino	kuipa
1. Zimakuthandizani kuti muziphonye: Inde, kusakhalako kumapangitsa kuti mtima ukule. Mukaphonya zinthu zabwino za iwo, mumayamba kuyang'ana zabwino za ubale wanu. Mutha kuzindikira kuti muli mu a ubale wabwino izi zili choncho	1. Simukudalira: Ndi kusalankhulana, ndizotheka kuti ngakhale malingaliro olakwika angangokulirakulira mkati mwanu. Chifukwa cha izi, mutha kukhala ndi vuto lokhulupirirana ndi okondedwa wanu ndipo zimakuvutani kuthana nazo
2. Zimakuthandizani kuganiza: Kodi kupatukana muubwenzi kumatanthauza chiyani? Ndi njira yodziganizira nokha, kuganizira zofuna zanu ndikupeza zosowa zanu mu chiyanjano	2. Atha kuyamba chibwenzi ndi anthu ena: N'zomvetsa chisoni kuti zimenezi n'zotheka ndithu. Nanga bwanji ngati ayamba kuyenda ndi anthu ena ndikupeza wina ali mkati?
3. Zimakuthandizani kuti muchepetse mkwiyo: Mwina mwawakwiyira kwambiri posachedwapa ndipo nthawi iliyonse mukawayang’ana, chimene mukufuna kuchita ndi kuwaponyera vazi. Mukakhala ndi nthawi yopuma, mutha kudzithandiza kuti mukhale ozizira komanso osonkhanitsidwa	3. Zitha kungopangitsa kuti musiyanitse: Ndipo zokhumudwitsa monga izi, ndizotheka kuti kupatukanaku kudabwera kwa nthawi yayitali ndipo simunawone.

Ngakhale tili ndi nkhani ya munthu woyamba yomwe imatiuza chifukwa chake kupatukana paubwenzi kungakhale kwabwino, palinso mbali ina ya ndalamazo. Tsopano popeza mwawerenga zonse ziwiri, mutha kumvetsetsa zotsatira zomwe zingachitike ngati mutachita izi. Pumulani, yang'anani ubale wanu ndikusinkhasinkha mosamala zomwe muyenera kuchita.

Ibibazo

1. Kodi nthawi yotalikirana mu chibwenzi imakhala nthawi yayitali bwanji?

Ngati padutsa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, muyenera kudandaula za ubale wanu.

2. Kodi ndi bwino kutenga nthawi muubwenzi?

Mwamtheradi! Nthawi zina kumalankhulana mosalekeza komanso kukhala pakati pawo kumatha kukhala kokhumudwitsa. Ganizirani zopumira kapena kukhala ndi malo ochulukirapo muubwenzi kuti mupeze nthawi ndi mphamvu zogwirira ntchito nokha.

3. Kodi kupuma kumatanthauza kuti sunakwatiwe?

Ngakhale kwa ena zingatanthauze kukhala wosakwatiwa mosangalala , sizili choncho nthawi zonse. Musanapite ku tchuthi, onetsetsani kuti mwakambirana za zomwe zili mu mgwirizanowu ndi mnzanu ndikuonetsetsa kuti nonse awiri muli ndi maganizo ofanana.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.