David Dsouza, wojambula yemwe amakhala ku Dubai komanso mkazi wamaloto ake Kareen (mayina asinthidwa) anali banja labwino. Nkhani yachikondi yomwe inali ndi zokhotakhota zambiri, zinalidi "zolinga ziwiri", zokhala ndi anthu ambiri komanso malingaliro abwino pamaso pa anthu pafupifupi 400 panthawi yawonetsero. Ukwati waukulu mofanana unatsatira. Tsoka ilo, chikondi chawo pambuyo paukwati sichinali ndi chilakolako chomwecho.
Mwachidule, iwo analekanitsidwa mkati mwa chaka chimodzi. Koma sizinaphule kanthu. Akutero Davide. Zofuna zathu zinali zosiyana, zizoloŵezi zinkaoneka zosiyana ndi zolinga za moyo wathu zinasintha.
Ndi nkhani yodziwika bwino kwambiri. Okwatirana akamalengeza chikondi chosatha kwa wina ndi mnzake, akukumana ndi mavuto ndi mavuto kuti akwatirane amapeza kuti chikondi chimatha atangomaliza kulumbira. Koma kodi pali chifukwa chomwe chikondi chimatha pambuyo pa ukwati? N’chifukwa chiyani malingaliro sangapitirire kukhala omwewo ngakhale zinthu zitasintha? Tinafunsa mlangizi komanso katswiri wa zamaganizo Dr. Prashant Bhimani (Ph.D., BAMS) kuti atipatse chidziwitso cha ulendo wovutawu wa maubwenzi.
Chikondi Pambuyo pa Ukwati — Njira 9 Zimasiyana Ndi Chikondi Tisanakwatirane
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Malinga ndi Dr. Bhimani, chikondi pambuyo pa banja chimakhala chosiyana chifukwa cha ziyembekezo ndi zenizeni. "Nthawi zonse pakakhala kusagwirizana pakati pa zomwe mukuyembekezera ndi zomwe mumapeza, zotsatira zake zimakhala kupsinjika maganizo ndipo zimasokoneza maubwenzi olimba kwambiri. Ndicho chifukwa chake pali kusiyana pakati pa chikondi chisanayambe ukwati ndi chikondi pambuyo pa ukwati," iye akutero, akundandalika chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe zimayambitsa mavuto pambuyo popanga mgwirizano wa moyo wonse.
Moyo pambuyo pa ukwati sungakhale wofanana. Komabe, n’chifukwa chiyani kusiyana kumeneku kumachitika ndipo n’chiyani chingachitike pa izi? Kodi chimachitika n’chiyani m’moyo wa mtsikana asanakwatirane komanso atakwatiwa? Nazi njira zisanu ndi zinayi zomwe maubwenzi amasinthira banja lisananene kuti, ‘Timachita’, monga momwe Dr. Bhimani adanenera.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Chibwenzi Chokwatirana? Zinthu 11 Zofunika Zomwe Muyenera Kukonzekera
1. Kutengapo mbali kwa mabanja
Mukakwatirana, kutengeka kwa mabanja kumakhala kwachibadwa. Zinthu sizikhala pakati pa inu nonse. Ngakhale m'maubwenzi omwe mabanja amakhala odziyimira pawokha komanso kukhala ndi ufulu wosankha okha zisankho, mabanja - ake ndi ake - azikhala ndi chonena.
M’nkhani za chikondi chopambana pambuyo pa ukwati, mgwirizano wa mabanja umakhala ndi mbali yofunika kwambiri. Koma ngati mabanja ayamba kukhala osokoneza, akukhazikitsa malamulo ndi malamulo, kuyesera kukopa aliyense wa okwatiranawo, ndiye kuti ukwatiwo umakhala wokhwima. Munthawi ya chibwenzi kapenanso kukhala ndi moyo, okwatirana amakonda kusiyidwa okha. Koma pambuyo pa ukwati zinthu zimasintha.
Langizo: Yesani kukhazikitsa ubale wabwino ndi banja la wokondedwa wanu musanakwatirane kuti zinthu zisasinthe kwambiri pambuyo pake.
2. Mumakonda kukhala wosasamala
Tsiku la 10 silili ngati tsiku loyamba. Pachiyambi choyamba cha ubale, mwamuna ndi mkazi ali pa khalidwe lawo labwino. Amatenga khama lapadera pakuwoneka bwino, kukhala okongola komanso kuyesa kubisa zofooka zawo. Koma chikondi chimasintha mutatha ukwati ndipo tidzakuuzani momwe mungachitire.
Mukazolowerana kwambiri ndi mnzanu, zonyenga komanso zowoneka bwino zimatsika. Mumayamba kukhala omasuka mu chikhalidwe chanu. Kudya zinyenyeswazi za chips pa malaya anu, kupsompsona popanda kutsuka mano - enchilada yonse. Popeza nthawi yadutsa ndipo wina sada nkhawa ndi 'kutaya' bwenzi lake, amayamba kuchita zinthu ngati iwowo.
Chikondi chikatha ukwati nthawi zambiri chimasintha chifukwa khama lofuna kukopa mnzanu silikhalapo. Mumabwerera ku umunthu wanu wachibadwa chifukwa simukufunikanso 'kukopa' mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wabwino. Mtundu uwu wa chitonthozo ndi wabwino, koma mukachita khama pang'ono, chikokacho chimatha msanga. Choncho ngakhale kuti ndi bwino kuti mumve bwino mukakhala nawo ndipo mungakhale munthu wabwino kwambiri, pali mzere wabwino musanasinthe msanga.
Langizo: Ngakhale mutakwatirana, konzani zinthu zodabwitsa, masiku ochezera ndi mphatso. Chitani zinthu zosavuta kuti mupitirize kukhala ndi moyo wabwino.
3. Chikondi chimawoneka chotetezeka kwambiri
Kuthamanga kwa adrenalin kumatha kubweretsa chisangalalo, chosamveka komanso chomasuka mutakwatirana ndi chikondi cha moyo wanu. Ukwati ndi kudzipereka kwakukulu ndipo umabweretsa lingaliro lina lachisungiko. Inde, sikutsimikizira kuti ubwenziwo udzakhalapo, koma n’kovuta kwambiri kuthetsa ukwati kusiyana ndi kuthetsa chibwenzicho. Chifukwa chake wina amamva ngati akwaniritsa china chake chachikulu pambuyo polimbikira ndikuchita khama, ndipo pamapeto pake apambana mkazi kapena mwamuna wamaloto awo.
Chotero chikondi pambuyo pa ukwati chimadzetsa chitsimikiziro chotsimikizirika ndi lonjezo la mayanjano anthaŵi yaitali. Ngati unansiwo uli wolimba, ukhoza kudzetsa chikhutiro ndi chimwemwe. Ndicho chinthu chachikulu ponena za makhalidwe a unansi asanakwatirane ndi pambuyo pake. Pali mgwirizano wochulukirachulukira woyembekezera. Mukakhala otsimikiza kuti mukufuna kukhala limodzi, mumapita ku gawo lotsatira - kulera banja.
Langizo: Kodi chikondi chimapitirira mukakwatirana? Inde chimakhalapo. Mangani pa chitetezo kuti mulimbikitse ubale wanu ndikupititsa patsogolo ubale wanu ndi cholinga choti mukule limodzi ngati banja.
4. Cholinga cha ndalama ndi chosiyana
Mokonda kapena ayi, ndalama zimathandizira kuti ubale ukhale wabwino. Kukondana musanalowe m'banja kumatanthauza kuti mumakondana ndi mphatso, tchuthi ndi zomwe ayi. Mukakhala pamodzi, zinthu zomwezi zingawoneke ngati zopanda pake pamene mukuyesera kumanga moyo pamodzi. Mukukumbukira pamene amakutumizirani duwa tsiku lililonse pa desiki yanu kuntchito? Eya, izo zikhoza kusiya kuchitika inu nonse mutakwatirana. Kapena mukukumbukira nthawi yomwe adakugulirani wotchi yomwe idawononga theka la malipiro ake pamwezi patsiku lanu lobadwa? Chabwino mwina chaka chino, muyenera kuchita ndi brisket yophika kunyumba ndipo ndi momwemo.
Zinthu zofunika kwambiri zimasintha ndipo nthawi yomweyo kusintha pakati pa chikondi musanakwatirane ndi chikondi mutakwatirana kumayamba kuonekera. Kugula nyumba, kumanga katundu ndi kudzipezera tsogolo labwino kumakhala kofunika pamene mukuyesera kuchepetsa ndalama zomwe mumagwiritsa ntchito komanso kulakalaka kugwiritsa ntchito ndalama zina. Poyamba, ndalama zonse zinali zogulira zinthu zambiri, kusangalatsa komanso kusangalala. Tsopano nkhani yakhazikika. Nkhani zandalama zitha kuwononga ubale , ngati sizikuyendetsedwa bwino.
Langizo: Yesani kulola mnzanuyo kuti agwirizane pankhani yokhudza ndalama zomwe mumayika komanso kugwiritsa ntchito. Kapena fikani pakati pomwe mukugwirizana mbali zambiri. Khalani omasuka komanso omveka bwino za momwe mumagwiritsira ntchito ndalama.
5. Chikoka chogonana chimatha
Oops! Ichi mwina ndi chinthu chovuta kwambiri chokhudza momwe chikondi chimasinthira pambuyo pa ukwati. Mangani, chifukwa mwina simukufuna kumva izi. Ngati mwamvapo kuti anyamata amasintha akakwatirana, nthawi zambiri amatanthauza kukopa kwawo. Zinthu zambiri zimatha kukhudza chilakolako chogonana, makamaka kupsinjika maganizo, kunyong'onyeka, chizolowezi cha m'banja ndi zina zotero. Kusachita chidwi ndi kugonana kumaoneka mofanana kwa amuna komanso akazi, choncho tisaloze zala mwansanga.
Zingakhale zovuta kusunga chilakolako chogonana chomwecho kwa nthawi yayitali kwa mnzanu mmodzi, ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuyika ndalama muubwenzi wanu mosasamala kanthu za nthawi yomwe mumakhala ndi wina ndi mnzake. Poyamba chisangalalo, chilakolako, ndi chisangalalo chinali china. Koma tsopano popeza mumagona pabedi limodzi tsiku lililonse pambuyo pa tsiku lalitali kuntchito, chakudya chamadzulo chosaphikidwa bwino ndi mbale zomwe mwakhala mukuzikonda mawa - kugonana kungawonongeke. Zokoka ndi zovuta za moyo waukwati nthawi zambiri zimawononga moyo wogonana wa okwatirana ndipo zimatha kubweretsa ukwati wopanda kugonana ngati sizikuthetsedwa.
Langizo: Khalani okonda zinthu zatsopano m'chipinda chogona. Yang'anirani njira zosangalalirana ndikusunga chimwemwe muubwenzi.
6. Pali kusintha kwina
Ubale waukulu ndi kusiyana kwaukwati pambuyo pa malumbiro atapangidwa, ndi ichi. Choncho tcherani khutu. M'mbuyomu, ndewu zinali zazing'ono. Koma tsopano zinthu zasintha. Kaonedwe kanu pankhani ya mikangano imasintha mukalowa m’banja ndipo zochulukirapo, mutakhala ndi mwana kapena awiri. Panthawi ya chibwenzi, anthu okwatirana salolerana. Zoonadi, mikangano siyingabwere nthawi zambiri chifukwa ndi gawo la anthu okwatirana asanakwatirane koma m'maubwenzi anthawi yayitali mikangano imayamba.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zifukwa Zitatu Zapamwamba Zomwe Okwatirana Amakangana Pazinthu Zomwezo
Komabe, ngati mkangano womwewo ukabuka pambuyo pa ukwati, okwatirana nthawi zambiri amakhala okonzeka kupatsana mwayi makamaka m'zaka zoyambirira. Chifukwa chakuti, kutuluka si njira yabwino, kotero ndi bwino kungokhalabe ndikuchita zinthu moyenera. M'maganizo mwawo, amadziwa kuti ayenera kuyesetsa kaya angakonde kapena ayi popeza uyu ndi munthu amene wasankha kukhala mnzawo wa moyo wawo . Ndi pamene mikangano imeneyi ikukulirakulira ndikukhala yobwerezabwereza, pamene lingaliro la kulekana limabuka.
Langizo: Mikangano ndi mikangano zidzachitika koma khalani ndi malingaliro osintha ndi ogwirizana kuti ubale wanu ukhalebe wolimba, momwe mungathere.
7. Kuwonjezeka kwa maudindo kumakhudza chikondi
Ngati simukufuna kuti chikondi chichepe mukalowa m’banja, phunzirani kuvomereza maudindo amene amabwera nawo. Chikondi chisanalowe m'banja chimabweretsanso zovuta zake, koma pamenepa, zosankha zikhoza kukhala za mbali imodzi ndipo simukumva kukhala ndi udindo pa moyo ndi zolinga za mnzanuyo. Ndiye ngati mukuganiza za kusiyana kwa moyo wa mtsikana pamaso ndi pambuyo pa ukwati ndi chiyani? Zingakhale kuti ayenera kugwirizanitsa zolinga zake zonse ndi za mwamuna wake.
Pambuyo pa ukwati, mapulani ambiri amakhala ofala ndipo amafunika kutsatira njira yomweyo. Zokhumba ndi zokhumba ziyenera kutsatizana pamene mukugawana moyo ndi winawake. Mungafunike kukhala ndi udindo waukulu pa zinthu zomwe simunaganizirepo kale - ntchito zapakhomo, kulera banja, kugawana ndalama ndi zina zambiri. Chilichonse chomwe mungasankhe kuchita, muyenera kuchichita limodzi. Simungangoyamba ntchito mtunda wa makilomita 500 kuchokera kunyumba chifukwa mukufuna. Muyenera kuyendetsa ndi mnzanuyo ndikupeza chisankho.
Langizo: Musamamenyane ndi maudindo, chifukwa chimenecho ndi gawo la momwe chikondi chimasinthira mukakwatirana. Vomerezani kuti muyeneranso kunyamula mavuto ena a mnzanu. Chikondi chenicheni chimatanthauza kugawana maudindo pamodzi.
8. Kusintha kwa ziyembekezo
Ubwenzi usanakwatirane komanso utatha ukwati umasinthasintha kwambiri. Mwina kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa chikondi usanakwatirane ndi chikondi utatha ukwati kuli pakuwongolera ziyembekezo. Mukagwa mchikondi, munthu winayo amakhala pakati pa chilengedwe chanu. Nthawi zambiri mumakhala ndi ziyembekezo zambiri kuchokera kwa inu nokha kuposa mnzanu, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti mukhale ndi malingaliro abwino nthawi zonse.
Mukakhala m’banja, modzidzimutsa, mtolo wochita zimene mukuyembekezera umaperekedwa kwa mnzanuyo. Nthawi zambiri mumayembekezera kuti wokondedwa wanu akumvetseni bwino ndikuchita zomwezo chifukwa mumakhulupirira kuti anakudziwani musanalowe m'banja.
Langizo: Kumbukirani kuti ngakhale mutadziwana bwino bwanji, mnzanuyo ndi munthu wosiyana ndi amene analeredwa mosiyana komanso kumvetsetsa moyo mosiyana. Chepetsani zomwe mukuyembekezera pa inu ndi iye.
9. Kukonda tinthu tating'onoting'ono
Kodi chikondi chimatha pambuyo pa ukwati? Inde, mwamtheradi. Funsani okwatirana onse akale omwe akugwirabe chanza pamene akuyenda ndipo sangathe kugona osapsompsonana 'usiku wabwino'. Mukakopeka ndi munthu, nthawi zambiri mumayang'ana mikhalidwe yake yapadera ndi luso lake. Cholinga chanu chimakhala pa zomwe zili zapadera za iwo kapena zinthu zomwe zimawonekera kwambiri. Mumapanga chithunzi chabwino, cholimbikitsa ndikuchisewera pa loop.
Koma ukwati ndi kukhala pamodzi kwa nthaŵi yaitali zimakuphunzitsani kulabadira mbali zing’onozing’ono za umunthu. Zing'onozing'ono zomwe simunavutike kuziwona kale. Mutha kukonda kapena kusakonda chilichonse chomwe mukuwona koma mbali zambiri zomwe zidabisidwa mwachidziwitso kapena mosazindikira kwa inu zimawonekera. Mumaphunzira kuyamikira mfundo zing’onozing’ono, kuzimvetsa bwino chifukwa cha izo ndikuphunzira kukhala wolinganizika m’kachitidwe kanu.
Langizo: Phunzirani kukhala ndi chiyembekezo chabwino kwa mnzanu chomwe munali nacho musanakwatirane. Landirani zoipa pamodzi ndi zabwino kuti mukhale paubwenzi wokhalitsa.
Pankhani ya chikondi pambuyo pa ukwati, mabuku achikondi angalimbikitse ukwatiwo ndi zonse zimene zimadza pambuyo pake. Komabe, moyo ndi thumba losakanikirana ndipo njira yokhayo yopitira patsogolo ndikumvetsetsa bwino ndi kuvomereza kuti ukwati uli chiyani, nsembe ndi kumvetsetsa komwe kumafunika kuti ubale ukhalepo. Ndipo chofunika kwambiri, kufunitsitsa kupereka monga momwe mukufunira kutenga.
18 Zizindikiro Zapamwamba Zaukwati Zosasangalatsa Zomwe Muyenera Kudziwa
51 Mafunso Ozama Achibale Kuti Afunse Moyo Wabwino Wachikondi
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
