Sindimamukondanso Mkazi Wanga Chifukwa Walemera Kwambiri. Kodi nditani?

Ngati simukukopekanso ndi bwenzi lanu, ndiye kuti mwafika pamalo oyenera lero. Kukopeka ndi kugonana kumabweretsa pamlingo wina wa cheche ndi chemistry ku ubale womwe ukhoza kuchepa pakapita nthawi. Pali zifukwa zambiri zomwe zimapangitsa kuti chidwi chogonana pakati pa okondedwa chichepe pakapita nthawi koma palinso njira zina zambiri zotsitsimutsira chisangalalo mu ubale wanu.

Funso lotsatirali ndi lofunsidwa kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo komanso mphunzitsi wodziwa bwino ntchito za moyo Deepak Kashyap (Masters in Psychology of Education), yemwe ndi katswiri pa nkhani zosiyanasiyana zokhudza thanzi la maganizo, kuphatikizapo LGBTQ ndi uphungu wachinsinsi.

Sindimakopeka ndi Mnzanga - Zoyenera Kuchita?

Q: Kodi kutaya kukopeka kwa thupi ndikoyenera? Ndine wazaka 48 ndipo ndili ndi banja losangalala. Koma vuto langa panopa ndi kulemera kwa mkazi wanga. Ndimadana nazo kumveka ngati munthu wosazama koma wavala ma kilos osachepera 30 kuyambira pomwe tidakwatirana zaka 22 zapitazo ndipo chifukwa cha izi, sindimakondanso kugonana ndi mnzanga. Izi zikunenedwa, sindinamunyengerepo ndipo ndimakonda kuganiza kuti sindikanatero. Koma moyo wanga wogonana ndi wosasangalatsa kwambiri chifukwa cha vutoli. Tili m'banja lopanda kugonana panthawiyi.

Koma ine, ndili ndi mawonekedwe abwino kwambiri ndikamapita ku masewera olimbitsa thupi, etc. Ndimapezanso chidwi kwambiri ndi amayi chifukwa cha momwe ndimawonekera. Ndikudziwa kuti mkazi wanga amadzimvera chisoni komanso kuti sapezanso chidwi ndi amuna. Pamene anali wamng’ono, anali wokongola mwachibadwa, ndipo ine ndikuganiza kuti iye anazitenga izo mopepuka chifukwa iye sanafunike konse kugwira ntchito pa izo.

Tsopano akuwoneka kuti sakufuna kuchita chilichonse kuti abwezeretse mojo wake. Sindikudziwa choti ndichite. Ndimadana nazo kuganiza kuti moyo wanga sunathe ngakhale (mwachiyembekezo) ndi theka, ndiye kugonana. Nthawi zina ndimadzifunsa ngati ndiyenera kungolumikizana ndi wina mwachisawawa kuti ndizichotsa mudongosolo langa ndikuchotsa kukakamiza kwa mkazi wanga. Kapena ndiyambe chibwenzi wamba kunja kwa banja langa? Ndimadzifunsanso ngati kukhala ndi mkazi m'modzi mwachilengedwe komanso ngati kuli kotheka kuyembekezera kuti abambo atsekereze malingaliro awo ogonana moyo wawo wonse. Ndikuvomereza, mwinamwake ndinakwatiwa ndili wamng’ono kwambiri, ndipo ngati sindinatero, mwinamwake ndikanasankha wina wosiyana ndi kusakhala ndi nkhani zimenezi. Mukuganiza bwanji pa izi?

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Dziwani malamulo atatu omwe amathandiza banjali kusamalira ukwati wangwiro

Kuchokera kwa katswiri:

Wokondedwa Adam, ndili ndi upangiri wosavuta kwa inu wokhudza momwe simukukopeka ndi kugonana ndipo ndiwo: upangiri wamalingaliro. Ndikufotokozerani izi mwatsatanetsatane. Ndikambirana kaye za kulemera kwa mkazi wanu ndiyeno mafunso, nkhawa ndi kukayikira komwe mwadzutsa pa moyo wanu wakugonana komanso kukhala ndi banja limodzi.

Pokhala ndi chiopsezo chosavuta, nthawi zambiri, anthu amalemera chifukwa cha zifukwa zotsatirazi:

• Monga chizolowezi kapena chikhalidwe: Kutenga ma calories ochulukirapo kuposa momwe munthu angawotche masana awo
• Vuto lazachipatala: Akukumana ndi vuto lachipatala lomwe lachepetsa kagayidwe kawo kapena layambitsa vuto lina lazachilengedwe lomwe siliwalola kuti achepetse thupi moyenera.

Chifukwa china chofunikira, chomwe nthawi zambiri chimanyalanyazidwa, ndi kupsinjika maganizo kapena nkhani yokhudzana ndi nkhawa yomwe munthu angakumane nayo. Kodi mudawonapo anthu akumaliza chubu cha popcorn mwachangu panthawi yomwe imayambitsa nkhawa kwambiri ya kanema wosangalatsa?

Pamene tinali achisoni m’zaka zathu zaubwana, ankatipatsa masiwiti, zokazinga kapena ayisikilimu omwe timakonda kwambiri kuti tikhazikike mtima pansi, mwakutero tikumakulitsa zizoloŵezi zathu za kudya mosadziŵa. Chotsatira chake, ngakhale titakhala achikulire, tikakhumudwa kapena tikakumana ndi vuto lina lililonse lamalingaliro, anthu ambiri amayamba kudya kuti akhazikike mtima.

Chakudya, kugonana ndi kuyanjana ndi anthu ena zimakhala ndi zotsatira zofanana pa ubongo wathu. Chifukwa chake zingakhale zothandiza kukambirana ndi mkazi wanu za kusowa kwa ubwenzi ndi mavuto okhudzana ndi kunenepa (kuchokera pamalingaliro azaumoyo komanso kugonana). Muthanso kukambirana za kupeza thandizo. Chitani izi mutachotsa mavuto omwe angakhalepo pa thanzi omwe ndatchula kale.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Sextech Ndi Chiyani? Tanthauzo, Ubwino, Ndi Chifukwa Chake Muyenera Kusamala

Kutaya kukopa kwakuthupi sikwachilendo

Muyeneranso kuzindikira kuti njira yopezera wokondedwa wanu mocheperapo komanso yocheperako yogonana si yachilendo. Inde, nthawi zina maonekedwe a thupi la mnzanu amatha kufulumizitsa ndondomekoyi. Mutha kupeza chitonthozo pozindikira kuti posachedwa kapena mtsogolo, zomwezo ndizovomerezeka kwa mabanja ambiri, ngakhale mutakwatirana ndi supermodel. Ndimamvetsetsa nkhawa yanu mukamva kuti moyo wanu wakugonana wayima posachedwa kuposa momwe mukadakhalira m'malingaliro anu.

Kusakhala ndi mkazi m'modzi yekha kumagwira ntchito pokhapokha ngati kuli kogwirizana. Ngakhale zili choncho, zimakhala zovuta. Ndimagwirizana ndi maanja omwe amafufuza ndikusankha malire awo. Komabe, kumbukirani kuti kusakhala ndi mkazi m'modzi yekha sikuli kogwirizana, kumatchedwa chinyengo. Malinga ndi zomwe ndakumana nazo, palibe zabwino zambiri zomwe zimatulukamo, kuposa nthawi yomwe zimakhala zachinsinsi. Kudzimva kuti ndili ndi mlandu, manyazi ndi kusadzidalira zimalowa posachedwa. Choncho sankhani mwanzeru.

Ngati Simukukopeka ndi Okondedwa Anu, Yesani Izi

Kukopeka ndi kugonana si chinthu chomwe chingapangidwe usiku wonse, monga momwe amasonyezera m'mafilimu. Pali zambiri zomwe zimatengera kukopeka ndi wina, kufuna kupanga chikondi kwa iwo ndikuwawonetsa kuti ndiwe wamba komanso wosatetezeka.

Kugwa kouma muukwati wanu kungaoneke ngati chinthu chodetsa nkhaŵa pakali pano, koma khalani otsimikiza pamene tikukuuzani kuti chikhoza kusamaliridwa. Ngati simukufunanso kugonana ndi wokondedwa wanu, musalumphe mfuti ndikupita ku kalabu yovula kapena ku bar kuti mukatenge wina. Ndikofunikira kuti muzichita zonse zomwe mungathe muubwenziwu musanathamangire. Kupatula maupangiri othandizidwa ndi akatswiri, mutha kuyesa zinthu izi ndi mnzanu kuti mutsitsimutse zakugonana:

1. Yambani kukonza zogonana

Sankhani malo, nthawi, udindo kapena china chilichonse chomwe chingakuthandizeni kumamatira! Madokotala ambiri amalangiza kukonza zogonana ngati njira yobweretsera chisangalalo muukwati ndi moyo wogonana. Zitha kuwoneka ngati chinthu chopanda pake, chonyozeka komanso chokakamizidwa kuti muchite poyamba koma lingalirani kuyesera chifukwa chimakhala ndi zabwino zambiri. Nthawi yomwe mwasankha kumamatira ku dongosolo ndi nthawi, mudzakhala bwino pakudzipereka nokha kwa wokondedwa wanu.

Pakali pano, chifukwa cha kusowa kwa chilakolako chogonana, mwinamwake mumapeza zifukwa zosagonana ndi wokondedwa wanu. Woŵerenga wina wa ku Minnesota anatiuza kuti: “Pambuyo pa zaka 17 za m’banja, panali pamene ndinalibenso chikhumbo cha kugonana ndi mwamuna wanga.

2. Ganizirani ngati pali china chake chamkati chomwe chikukulepheretsani

Monga momwe funsoli linayankhira, nkhani ya mwamunayo yokhala muukwati wopanda kugonana inali yokhudzana ndi kusakonda thupi la mkazi wake. Komabe, si nthawi zonse chifukwa chake nthawi zina matsenga amakugwerani muukwati wanu. Zifukwa zake zingakhale zambiri ndipo nthawi zina, vuto lingakhale ndi inu. Choncho musanayambe kudzudzula molakwika, yang'anani nokha.

Kodi mumaganizira kwambiri za ex posachedwa? Kodi pali china chake chomwe chimakuzimitsani? Kodi mwakhala mukuwonera zolaula kwambiri? Nthawi yoganizira zinthu izi musanayike udindo waukwati wanu wopanda kugonana kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Ubale ndi Zolaula: Kodi Pangakhale Kugwirizana Kwabwino Pakati pa Awiriwa?

3. Yesani zinthu zatsopano kuchipinda

Chinthu chachikulu chokhudza kugonana ndi chakuti ngati muyeseradi, kufufuzako sikutha. Pali zambiri zoti muchite m'chipinda chogona, malo ambiri ogonana, zoseweretsa zogonana zosiyanasiyana ndi zinthu zatsopano zopenga kuti zikuthandizeni kumvetsa zomwe mumakonda komanso zomwe simukuzikonda. Ndani akudziwa, mutha kukhumudwa ndi fiti yatsopano ya kinky panjira?

Tengani malangizo athu ndikupanga kafukufuku ndi mnzanu. Ngati simukukopekanso ndi wokondedwa wanu, zitha kukhala chifukwa kugonana kwakhala kosalala kwa nthawi yayitali. Zili ndi inu tsopano kusintha zimenezo.

4. Lankhulani nawo

"Sindinakopekenso ndi mkazi wanga, kuyambira pamene ndinapeza ntchito yatsopano. Ndinali wotanganidwa kwambiri ndi zomwe zinkachitika mozungulira ine, ndinasiya kuyamikira mkazi wanga monga kale. Izi zinasokoneza kwambiri moyo wathu wogonana mpaka usiku wina pamene mnyamata wina wa kuntchito anandiuza kuti ndilankhule naye mwachindunji m'malo monyalanyaza zopempha zake. Nditamva kuti akundimvetsa, zinandithandiza kuti ndisiye kusamala. Zimenezi pamodzi ndi zoseweretsa zabwino kwambiri zogonana ndi zowonjezera, pang'onopang'ono tinayambiranso kusangalala," anatero Trevor, manejala wa malonda ku kampani ina ku New York.

Kotero inde, lankhulani ndi kulankhula ndi kulankhula ndi mnzanuyo. Ngati mukuganiza kuti mukusiya kukopeka ndi iwo, njira yokhayo yothetsera vutoli ndikuwalola kuti afotokoze nkhawa zawo. Mukawabisira kwambiri, m’pamenenso mudzalimbikitsidwa kwambiri kudzikhutiritsa m’njira zina.

5. Funsani katswiri wodziwa za kugonana

Ngati palibe chilichonse mwa zinthu zomwe zili pamwambapa chomwe chakugwirani ntchito, ndiye kuti iyi ndi njira yomaliza. Nthawi yoti mubweretse akuluakulu. Mwachita zonse zomwe mungathe, tsopano ndi nthawi yoti katswiri ayambe kugwira ntchito kuti muthe kugwiranso ntchito yogwirizana ndi kugonana kwanu . Musachite manyazi chifukwa akubwera kuti akuthandizeni osati kuweruza.

Ngakhale zingakhale zosautsa kwambiri, kuchepa kwa chilakolako chogonana muubwenzi wanthawi yayitali sikwachilendo kapena kosatha. Mmene mwamuna ndi mkazi angachitire ndi mkhalidwe wosapeŵeka umenewu zimadalira zotulukapo zake. Chifukwa chake khalani pamenepo ndipo musataye mtima mpaka mutamaliza zonse zomwe mungasankhe.

Ibibazo

Zoyenera Kuyang'ana Mu Ubale? Mndandanda Womaliza Wazinthu 15

Zizindikiro 15 Ukwati Wanu Uli Pamatenda Ndipo Watsala pang'ono Kutha

Maukwati Opanda Kugonana: Kodi Ukwati Wopanda Chigololo Ndi Chifukwa Chothetsera Chisudzulo?

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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