Pamene mnzanuyo akunama kwa inu ndipo inu kunyamula pa izo, akhoza pafupifupi kuyamba kumva ngati kusweka kwa ubwenzi uli pafupi. Zoyera zagona apa ndi apo zitha kukhala zowiringula komanso china chake chomwe mungangothetsa. Koma mabodza akulu akayamba kukwawira muubwenzi wanu, mudzamva ngati simukudziwa choti muchite. Kodi muyenera kulimbana nawo? Muwagwire iwo red hand? Kapena kungosiya?
Ngati mukumva ngati muli ndi mnzanu wabodza m'manja mwanu yemwe samakupatsiraninso yankho lolunjika kapena ngati mukuganiza kuti mkazi wanu akunama zachinyengo, mwafika pamalo oyenera lero. Pamene mnzanuyo akunama kwa inu, kupeza njira yabwino yothetsera vutoli kungakhale ulendo wosokoneza.
Mwamwayi, mothandizidwa ndi upangiri wa upangiri wama psychologist ndi mphunzitsi wovomerezeka wa luso la moyo Deepak Kashyap (Masters in Psychology of Education), yemwe amagwira ntchito zosiyanasiyana zamatenda amisala, kuphatikiza LGBTQ ndi upangiri wapafupi, titha kukuthandizani kupeza yankho lazomwe mungachite ngati mnzanu akunamizani. Funso lotsatirali likuchokera kwa mmodzi wa owerenga athu mwachindunji kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo. Tiyeni tiwone vuto ili pansipa ndikumvetsetsa yankho la katswiri wa zamaganizo.
Kodi Mungatani Ngati Wokondedwa Wanu Wakunamizani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Q. Ndimakhulupirira kuti mkazi wanga ali ndi chizolowezi chondinamiza nthawi zonse pa zinthu zambiri. Zitha kukhala zazing'ono, zinthu zatsiku ndi tsiku. Zingakhalenso zinthu zazikulu. Ndipo sikuli ndi Ine ndekha; Ndimamuwona akucheza ndi abwenzi ake komanso achibale ake. Sindikudziwa choti ndichite. Ndakambirana naye za nkhaniyi koma zimamupweteka kwambiri, ndipo savomereza. Ukwati wathu ndi wolinganizidwa. Poyamba, zinali zosangalatsa chifukwa inali nthawi yaukwati yaubwenzi wathu ndipo tinkayamba kudziwana. Koma manyazi aja achoka tsopano ndipo ndazindikira kuti wanama kwa ine za zinthu zambiri.
Tsiku lina, nditamufunsa zomwezo, ananena kuti sindikanavomera kukwatiwa ngati akanandineneratu zoona pa zinthu zina. Kodi imeneyo si mbendera yofiira yokulirapo? Bwana, nditani kenako? Ndikudziwa, ukwati umaphatikizapo kulolerana, koma kukhumudwa kwake kosalekeza kumafika kwa ine.
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Kuchokera kwa katswiri:
Yankho: Kunama mokakamiza ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kudzikayikira mwa munthu. Pazifukwa zilizonse m'mbuyomu, ubongo wamunthu umayamba kunama ngati njira yothanirana ndi chitetezo; kwenikweni zikutanthauza kuti munthuyo ali wotsimikiza kuti kunama ndi njira yokhayo yomwe angapulumukire "m'dziko lino lachilango ndi chiweruzo".
Chowonadi mwina chidabwera pamtengo wowawa kwambiri kwa iwo m'mbuyomu ndipo potero amawapangitsa kukhala osawona kuti kunama nakonso kuli ndi zotulukapo zake zowopsa ndipo chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kusiya bodza pachibwenzi. Monga mudanenera poyamba pamene mukuyesera kumudziwitsa kuti amanama kwambiri "zimamupweteka" m'malo mopepesa kapena kuchita chinachake. Umunthu wosalimba ndi chizindikiro china cha kudzipenda kotsika kwambiri, komwe kungakhale chifukwa chomwe umayenera kuthana ndi mnzanu wabodza.
Ndikumvetsa kuti ndizovuta kuthana ndi vuto ngati mnzako akunama kwambiri. Zili ngati kukhala ndi munthu wosadalirika chifukwa cha chizolowezi chawo cha kunama, ndipo munthu amakhumudwa kwambiri akakhala bwenzi lake. Ndikupempha moona mtima kuti mulankhule naye za nkhawa zanu, ndiyo njira yofunika kwambiri yopitira patsogolo. Afunseni ngati mukuganiza kuti zingakhale zothandiza. Mwachitsanzo, m’malo monena kuti, “Kunama kwanu kukuwononga mtendere wanga wa m’maganizo,” funsani funso ngati, “Kodi mukuganiza kuti kunama koumiriza kumeneku kungakhudze bwanji thanzi lathu la maganizo?”
Sizingakanidwe kuti vuto liyenera kuyang'aniridwa mu mbiri yake ndi zochitika zaumwini (zokhudza mkazi wanu). Uphungu ndi chithandizo n’chofunika kuti mkazi wanu athe kumasula mantha ake onena zoona ponena za zinthu, monga momwe amadziwira. Mutha kukhala ndi mnzanu wabodza m'manja mwanu koma mutha kuyenda mopitilira ndi upangiri.
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Pamene Wokondedwa Wanu Anama, Kodi Zifukwa Zomwe Zimayambitsa Zimenezi Zingakhale Zotani?
Takambirana zomwe katswiriyu ananena koma nkhaniyi sithera apa. Mnzanu wabodza kapena wabodza atha kukhala vuto lalikulu muubwenzi. Kotero pamene katswiri watipatsa njira zingapo zothetsera izo, Bonobology idzachotsa apa ndikufotokozera zifukwa zingapo zomwe mnzanu angayambe kunama pachibwenzi poyamba.
Ariana, mphunzitsi wa ku Missouri anatiuza kuti: “Ndinanamiza mwamuna wanga za matenda anga chifukwa ndinkachita mantha ndi zimene angachite. Ndinkadziwa kuti zingatiwonongere ndalama zambiri n’chifukwa chake ndinkangokhalira kutengera ndalama kwa makolo anga ndipo sindinamuuze za maopaleshoni anga. kutengeka pang'ono. "
Mwachionekere, pamene mnzanuyo akunamizani, zingawononge kwambiri ubwenzi wanu. Koma kuti mugwirizane ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wabodza, muyenera kumvetsetsa mbali yawo komanso komwe adachokera. Zomwe anachita mwina sizabwino, koma anali ndi zifukwa zawo. Nazi zina mwa izo.
“Kuona mtima ndi mutu woyamba m’buku la nzeru.”
— Thomas Jefferson
1. Kusatetezeka komanso kuopa kusakondedwa
Ngati mnzanuyo ananamizirani zakale ndi inu kapena kupanga nkhani kuti muvomereze, sakunama chifukwa akubisa chinthu choipa kapena chovuta. Ndizotheka kuti mnzanu wabodza amangopanga izi chifukwa akuda nkhawa kuti sangakukondeni chifukwa cha zomwe muli. Monga Deepak Kashyap zomwe tatchulazi, kudziona kuti ndife osafunika ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu za kunama pachibwenzi.
Kuti awoneke ngati ofunikira kapena osangalatsa, mnzanuyo angakunamizeni za iwo maubale akale kapena mbiri ndi anthu ena. Ganizirani izi motere: nthawi zina wokondedwa wanu akanama, zimakhala ndi zochita zambiri ndi iwo okha kuposa momwe zimakhalira ndi inu.
2. Akuda nkhawa ndi kukukhumudwitsani
Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akudziwa kale kuti zimene mukuchita pa choonadi sizikhala zabwino, n’chifukwa chake amangofuna kukunamizani. Kuti adzipulumutse okha manyazi kapena kupewa zinthu zomwe zimawanyoza, mnzanuyo angafune kubisa mfundo, kukubisirani zinthu kapena kunena nkhani mosiyana.
3. Kuopa kukutayani
Kaŵirikaŵiri, ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akunama kuti akuberani kapena kukunamizani chinthu chinanso chachikulu, kungakhale chifukwa chakuti sakufuna kukutayani. Wokondedwa wanu akanama kwa inu, nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi nkhawa kuti muwasiya.
Zibwenzi zakunja, kunama za momwe amawonongera ndalama, chinsinsi chachikulu chabanja kapena chochita ndi ana, mabodza pamitu imeneyi nthawi zambiri amakhala. zosokoneza mu ubale kapena chikondi. Zikatero, mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu angakunamizeni kuti chibwenzicho chisathe, peŵani zoipa zamtundu uliwonse ndi kungopitirizabe.
Ngakhale pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zambiri zotsalira mnzanu akakunamizani, awa ndi atatu apamwamba omwe nthawi zambiri amakhala oyambitsa. Ngati mukuchitadi ndi mnzanu wabodza, tikukulangizani kuti mugwirizane ndi vutoli mwachikondi ndi chifundo, mosasamala kanthu kuti simukulemekezedwa bwanji. Imani mwamphamvu, khalani okoma mtima momwe mungathere koma musalole kuti ayende ponseponse pa inu.
Ibibazo
1. Kodi mumatani ndi mnzanu amene amanama?
Poyamba, mungakwiyire, koma yesani kubisa botololo ndikutaya botololo kwathunthu. Pamene mumachita mwaukali, m’pamenenso wabodzayo amamva kuti ali pangozi ndipo amawopa kuyankha m’njira yothandiza. Yesetsani kukhala chete, lankhulani nawo ndikupeza chomwe chikuyambitsa kunama kwawo. Ndi nsanje kapena mukuchita ndi mkazi wosatetezeka? Mukazindikira chifukwa chake, tsatirani izi ndikuthana nawo.
2. Kodi maubwenzi angayende pambuyo pa mabodza?
Inde, angathe. Koma izi zingatheke pokhapokha ngati okwatirana apangana ndi kugona mu chiyanjano ndikuyenda mu gawo latsopano ndi slate yoyera ndi kudzipereka kukhala owona mtima kwa wina ndi mzake.
3. Kunama kumachita chiyani paubwenzi?
Kunama kwambiri pachibwenzi kungayambitse chachikulu nkhani za trust pakati pa anthu awiri. Ndipo ngati nkhani za chidalirozo zikakhala zosathetsedwa ndipo kunama sikusiya, ndiye kuti m’kupita kwa nthaŵi ubwenziwo udzasokonekera.
Maganizo Final
Kuthetsa kusaona mtima muubwenzi kumafuna kuleza mtima, chifundo, ndi kudzipereka kwa kulankhulana momasuka. Mwa kumvetsetsa zomwe zimayambitsa ndi kugwirira ntchito limodzi, okwatirana angayambirenso kukhulupirirana ndi kulimbitsa mgwirizano wawo.
Ngati mukukumana ndi zovuta za kusakhulupirika muubwenzi wanu, lingalirani zofikira mlangizi wathu akatswiri. Upangiri waukatswiri ungapereke zida ndi chithandizo chofunikira kuthana ndi vuto lovutali ndikulimbikitsa mgwirizano wathanzi, wowona mtima.
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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
NDINAPHUNZITSA mnzanga komanso mwamuna wam'tsogolo, adatenga foni yanga yam'mbuyomu yomwe maimelo anga onse apano adalumikizidwa ku chipangizocho ndipo adapeza kuti ndakhala ndikumunyengerera ndipo ndakhala ndikupitilizabe kumunyengerera kuyambira pomwe adachokera kutsidya lina. Ndimamukonda koma ndikudziwa kuti zatha chifukwa sanandiwonetse kudalirika komanso zifukwa zomveka. Tsopano ndili pamalo pomwe sindisamala ngati ali pano kapena ayi ndipo tili ndi mwana wamkazi wazaka zitatu! Amuna ambiri akadangochoka koma amawawa kwambiri chifukwa ine ndine chikondi chake choyamba ndipo timagawana mwana wamkazi. Sindinavomereze kuti ndinamunyengererapo, koma tonse timadziwa Choonadi chosaneneka. Sindikudziwa choti ndichite. Mwamuna uyu ndi wokwiya, wokhumudwa, wosungulumwa nthawi zonse ndikakhala ndilibe ndipo ndamuuza kuti palibenso ife! Zomwe zinandipangitsa kuti ndimuchitire izi! Chifukwa chiyani? ZOMWE ndidamuuzapo ndi momwe ndimamukondera iye ndi banja lathu komanso kuti banja lathu ndi lofunika kwambiri kwa ine kuposa ZINTHU ZINA ZONSE padziko lapansi! Panthawiyi ndinali kugona ndi amuna ena nthawi yonse yomwe iye anali atapita ndipo zinangotenga 2 days kuti azindikire kuti chinachake sichili bwino! Sitinawonepo maso ndi maso kuyambira pamenepo! Ndipo adakhulupiriradi kuti ndine mnzake wapamtima wake ndipo SINGACHITE chilichonse chonga ichi kuti chimupweteke.
Moni Gloria, tamva kuti mukumva zowawa kwambiri pano. Tikhoza kumva. Chonde titumizireni imelo [imelo ndiotetezedwa] ndipo tikuthandizani kuti mukhale bwino.