Si chinsinsi kuti tonsefe timanama mu ubale wathu. Kaya ndi ndemanga yakuti "mukuwoneka bwino" mnzanuyo atameta tsitsi latsopano kapena kuwauza kuti mukugwira ntchito mochedwa pamene inu munaima kuti mutenge moŵa angapo ndi ogwira nawo ntchito, mabodza ang'onoang'ono oyerawa ali paliponse. Ndiye, pali akuluakulu amene akhoza kuwomba pa ubwenzi kapena kukusiyani mosimidwa kufunafuna yankho mmene kupeza chidaliro mmbuyo mu ubale pambuyo kunama.
Ngati ndi zomwe mukuchita nazo, mukudziwa mtundu wa chikhulupiliro chosweka chimatengera mgwirizano wa banja. Wokondedwa wanu amavutika kuti akhulupirire chilichonse chimene mumanena ndipo kulakwitsa kwanu kumagwiritsidwa ntchito ngati chikumbutso cha zolephera zanu. Mawu aliwonse amasintha mwadzidzidzi kukhala mkangano. “Kodi ukuyendadi ndi anyamata okhawo?” “Ndi bwenzi chabe eti?” Kukayikitsa ndi zoneneza zitha kusiya ubale wanu pa ayezi woonda.
Ichi ndichifukwa chake kudziwa momwe mungakhazikitsire chikhulupiriro pambuyo pa kunama kumakhala kofunikira. Kukhululuka kungatenge nthawi yake yokoma kuti ibwere. Ngati mumayamikiradi wokondedwa wanu ndi ubale wanu, njira yayitali yopezera chikhulupiliro chawo idzakhala yopindulitsa. Tiyeni tiwone momwe mungayambitsirenso chikhulupiliro muubwenzi mutanama, kuti musakhale ngati mnyamata yemwe analira Nkhandwe. Koma choyamba, tiyeni tione mmene kunama kumakhudzira ubwenzi.
Zotsatira Za Kunama Pa Ubale
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kudalirana muubwenzi kumamveka ngati bulangeti lofunda tsiku lozizira. Bodza lililonse—kaya laling'ono bwanji—limaboola bulangeti ili lomwe limakupangitsani kumva bwino komanso otetezeka, ndipo pamene mabodzawa akuwonjezeka, zidutswa za bulangeti zimangotsala, zomwe zimakusiyani mukumva kuti mwabisika, mulibe chitetezo, komanso mukuopsezedwa kuti mungakhale bwino.
Mutha kubisa zinazake zofunika kwa wokondedwa wanu chifukwa mukuopa kuti zomwe angachite sizingakomere, ndipo mumadziwuza nokha kuti, "Ndikuchita izi kuti ndiwateteze". Kapena simungafune kuloŵa nawo ndi mnzanuyo pambuyo pa tsiku lalitali ndipo mukhoza kunama njira yanu yotulutsira mkangano wothekera, kuganiza kuti, “Kupulumutsa madzulo, ndatichitira zabwino tonsefe.” Vuto ndilakuti, ngakhale munganene momveka bwino, kusaona mtima kumakhala ndi njira yomwe ingakupezeni chifukwa mabodza amakula ngati udzu, kutsekereza chikhulupiriro ndi ubwenzi womwe mwayesetsa kuumanga. Umu ndi momwe:
1. Bodza likuchoka pa maziko a kukhulupirirana
Kudalirana ndiye maziko a ubale wabwino . Ngati palibe, ngakhale mgwirizano wamphamvu kwambiri ukhoza kutha. Mukanama, nkhani zodalirana zimayamba kulowa muubwenzi wanu ndipo mnzanu angayambe kukayikira osati bodza lokha komanso china chilichonse chomwe mudanenapo. Mwachitsanzo, ngati munama za komwe munali madzulo ena, chifukwa choti simunafune kukangana za kufuna kucheza ndi anzanu m'malo mocheza ndi mnzanu, ndipo mnzanuyo atazindikira, angadzifunse kuti, "Ngati ananama za izi, sakundiuzanso chiyani china?" Kukayikira kumeneku kungawonjezeke, kuwasiya akukayikira chilichonse.
“Kunama kumayambitsa kusatetezeka kwa mnzawo chifukwa kumasonyeza kuti akubisira chinachake.” Mukayamba kukayikirana, zimakhala zovuta kuti mukhalebe otetezeka m’maganizo.
—Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, wosamalira mabanja, akufotokoza,
2. Mabodza ang'onoang'ono amatha kugwa muzinthu zazikulu
" Bodza loyera " apa, ulusi pamenepo—sizingawoneke ngati zopanda vuto poyamba. Koma mabodza nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi zotsatira zoyipa. Kuti muphimbe bodza limodzi, mungafunike lina, ndi lina. Musanadziwe, mwapanga ukonde wachinyengo womwe ndi wovuta kuuthetsa.
Mwachitsanzo, taganizirani za Jenna ndi Aron. Aron adamunamiza kuti adawononga kwambiri anthu omwe adachitapo kanthu ndipo adatenga ndalamazo kuti alipire ku thumba latchuthi lomwe adathandizira limodzi poganiza kuti sizinali zazikulu. Koma Jenna atazindikira patapita miyezi ingapo, zonse zinasokonekera kwambiri kuposa zimene Aron ankayembekezera, Jenna anapita kukakhala ndi mlongo wakeyo ndipo anamutsekereza kwa milungu ingapo. Zimene anachitazi sizinangokhudza ndalama zokha ayi, koma ankangodziona ngati wosafunika komanso wosocheretsedwa.
3. Kutalikirana kwamalingaliro kumakula
Mukanama kwa mnzanu, mtunda wochepa umalowa, ngakhale atangoyamba kumene. Mungamve ngati muli ndi mlandu, kupewa kuyang'anana maso, kapena kusalankhulana bwino mukamakambirana. Kusiyana kumeneku kwa malingaliro kungayambitse kumva kusungulumwa kapena kusagwirizana muubwenzi , zomwe zimakupangitsani nonse kukhala olekana. Dr. Harriet Lerner, wolemba buku lakuti The Dance of Intimacy , akufotokoza kuti, "Kunama kumawononga ubale womwe umasunga ubale. Kutseguka ndi kuwona mtima ndi zomwe zimathandiza okwatirana kumva kuti akuwonekadi komanso kukondedwa chifukwa cha zomwe ali."
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kutalikirana Kwa Maganizo: Tanthauzo, Zoyambitsa, Zizindikiro, Ndi Njira Zokonzera
4. Kunama kumalepheretsa kulankhulana
N’chifukwa chiyani ubale umatha chifukwa cha mabodza? Chifukwa mukakhala ndi zinthu zobisika kwa mnzanu, simungakhalenso omasuka komanso osatetezeka nazo. Zotsatira zake, kusamvana kumakula, mkwiyo umakula muubwenzi , ndipo mumamva ngati simungathe kulankhulana popanda kusokonezana.
Tinene kuti munanamiza mnzanuyo pazachuma, kusakhulupirika, zovuta zantchito, kapena zina zotere, ndipo tsopano lingaliro loti “akadziwa” likukudyani. Wokondedwa wanu amatha kuona kuti chinachake chalakwika ndipo akakufunsani, simungachitire mwina koma kunena kuti, "Palibe kanthu" kapena "Ndili bwino". Amasiyidwa akungoganiza, ndipo mwina, akungoganizira zochitika zoyipa kwambiri m'mutu mwawo. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, kusowa poyera kumeneku kungayambitse kukhumudwa ndi mikangano.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zinthu 11 Zomwe Zimachitika Mu Ubale Popanda Kudalirana
Mitundu 5 Yabodza Imene Ingayambitse Kukhulupirirana Paubwenzi
Monga mukuonera, kunama muubwenzi kumatanthauza kusweka kwa chikhulupiriro, kufooka kwa maubwenzi, ndi kusatsimikizika za tsogolo. Koma kodi mabodza onse amakhudza ubale wanu mofanana? Kodi kuuza mnzanu kuti mumakonda chokoleti chomwe adapanga kuyambira pachiyambi ngakhale kuti simunachite choipa monga kunama kuti mwamunyenga kapena kumubisira zakale? Chabwino, sichoncho. Mabodza osiyanasiyana amakhudza ubale m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Tiyeni tiwone mitundu 5 ya mabodza omwe nthawi zambiri amayambitsa mavuto a kudalirana muubwenzi:
1. Mabodza oyera
Tinene kuti, tonse timauza anzathu mabodza ang'onoang'ono oyera nthawi ndi nthawi. Kuchokera kunena kuti munakonda chovala chatsopano chomwe adagula pamene simunanene kuti mumakonda kucheza ndi amayi awo pamene simungathe kupirira mkaziyo. Ngakhale kuti kunama kuti tipewe kukhudzika kwa mnzako sikwachilendo kapena kovulaza, pamene kuchuluka kwa mabodza kumayamba kuposa kukhulupirika ndi kuwonekera, kungathe kusokoneza mgwirizano wanu.
Vuto ndi mabodza oyera ndikuti mutha kukhala ndi chizolowezi chochita nawo kuthawa zovuta, ndipo ndipamene zinthu zimakhala zovuta. Dr. Bella DePaulo, katswiri wa zamaganizo amene amaphunzira kunama anati: “Ngakhale mabodza ang’onoang’ono angayambitse chizolowezi cha kusaona mtima.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 11 za Kusakhulupirika mu Ubwenzi
2. Mabodza osiyidwa
Izi si mabodza enieni koma zinthu zomwe simukufuna kuuza ena. Mwachitsanzo, kusauza mnzanu kuti munakumana ndi chibwenzi chanu chakale pa nkhomaliro kapena kunyalanyaza kunena kuti nthawi yosangalala kuntchito inali yabwino. Ngakhale munganene kuti "sikofunika," mnzanuyo angaone ngati kusakhulupirika akadziwa. Mabodza oti simunachitepo kanthu amakhala ngati chinsinsi muubwenzi, chomwe pakapita nthawi chimapanga kusiyana kwa malingaliro pakati pa okwatirana.
3. Kukokomeza
Nthawi zina, mutha kutambasula chowonadi kuti muwoneke bwino-monga kunena kuti mwakwaniritsa zomwe simunachite kapena kuwombera zolakwa za mnzanuyo molingana ndi kubisa udindo pazochita zanu. Izi zitha kukulitsa kudzikonda kwanu kwakanthawi, koma mnzanuyo akapeza chowonadi, zitha kuwapangitsa kukayikira kukhulupirika kwanu.
4. Mabodza azachuma
Iyi ndi imodzi mwa nkhani zazikulu zomwe zimasiya anthu akudzifunsa momwe angabwezeretsere chidaliro muubwenzi atatha kunama. Si chinsinsi kuti ndalama zitha kukhala gwero lalikulu la mikangano muubwenzi. Mukayamba kunama zandalama—kubisa ngongole, kugula zinthu mobisa, kapena kunama za ndalama zomwe mumapeza—kuti mupewe mkanganowu, zimakhala ngati kusakhulupirika pazandalama ndipo zimapangitsa kuti anthu asakhulupirirene.
"Zinsinsi zandalama nthawi zambiri zimayimira kusakhulupirirana komanso kumasuka muubwenzi."
—Dr. Terri Orbuch, katswiri wa zamaganizo
5. Kusakhulupirika
Kuwonjezera pa chikondi, kudalirana, ndi ulemu, kukhulupirika ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri zomwe munthu amayembekezera muubwenzi —chabwino, makamaka muubwenzi wodzipereka, wokhala ndi mkazi mmodzi. Mukasiya kukhulupirika kenako n’kuchita zonse zomwe mungathe kuti mukwaniritse zolinga zanu, mumawononga maziko onse a ubale wanu. Mwa mitundu yonse yosiyanasiyana ya kusakhulupirika, iyi ndi nkhanza kwambiri komanso yovuta kwambiri kuchira.
Ndicho chifukwa chake anthu nthawi zambiri amavutika kuti adziwe momwe angayambirenso kukhulupirirana muubwenzi pambuyo pa kunama ndi kubera, pamene amapeza kuti amayesetsa momwe angathere, sangathe kupangitsa wokondedwa wawo kuti awakhulupirire kapena kukhala otetezeka nawonso.
Momwe Mungabwezeretsere Chikhulupiliro Mu Ubale Pambuyo Kunama - Zinthu 11 Zomwe Muyenera Kuchita
Mlingo wa bodza ulibe kanthu. Chofunika ndichakuti munanama poyamba. Kaya ndi chinyengo kapena bodza kubisa mayendedwe anu, kupanda ulemu kumaonekera pazochitika zilizonse. Kaya ndinu wabodza kapena munanama kamodzi kokha, njira yomanganso kukhulupirirana paubwenzi nthawi zambiri imakhala yofanana.
Komabe, ngati mutaonera pulogalamu yomwe mnzanu amakonda popanda iwo kapena kudya sangweji yomwe amasungira mtsogolo, sitinganene kuti zimenezo ndi kunyoza chidaliro cha mnzanu. Zingamveke ngati zili choncho, koma si chinthu chomwe mungawonerenso kapena sangweji ina yomwe singakonze. Simukuyenera kutaya tulo poganizira momwe mungakonzere chibwenzi pambuyo poti kudalirana kwatha.
Komabe, mabodza akuluakulu okhudza kusakhulupirika akawululidwa, malingaliro aliwonse okhulupirira paubwenziwo amatuluka pawindo. Musanadziwe, galimoto yanu tsopano ili ndi GPS tracker yolumikizidwa nayo ndipo mauthenga anu akuyang'aniridwa. Palibe amene amafuna kukhala paubwenzi ndi a FBI, ndichifukwa chake kudziwa momwe mungayambitsirenso chikhulupiliro muubwenzi kumakhala kofunika kwambiri mutakhudzidwa ndi chipwirikiti cha kukayikirana.
Ngakhale simungafune china chilichonse koma kukanikiza batani lokhazikitsiranso ndikubwerera momwe zinthu zinalili, palibe zokonzekera mwachangu momwe mungayambirenso kukhulupilira mu ubale mutanama. Kukonza ubale pambuyo pa kunama kudzafuna kudzipereka ndi kuleza mtima. Kuti tikuthandizeni panjira, tiyeni tifufuze zochitika zomanganso kukhulupirirana muubwenzi nthawi yomweyo:
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kupulumuka Nkhani - Njira 12 Zobwezeretsera Chikondi ndi Kudalirana mu Ukwati
1. Choyamba, lekani kunama
Sizikunena kuti kukonza ubale pambuyo pa kunama, muyenera kusiya mabodza nthawi yomweyo. Ndipo nthawi yomweyo, tikutanthauza dzulo. Simungakhale mukufunsa momwe mungakonzere chidaliro mutanama mutakhala pagulu la mabodza omwe amatha kukuwombani pamaso panu mphindi iliyonse.
Kuyambira pano, onetsetsani kuti simukuchita chilichonse ngakhale mutabisala mosamvetsetseka zomwe zimasiya mnzanuyo akuda nkhawa ndi zolinga zanu. Kunama pambuyo pogwidwa chifukwa chake kuli ngati kuganiza kuti kudya shuga kungakonze matenda anu a shuga. Mukungodziipira nokha, ndipo musanadziwe mudzakhala mukudya dessert-kwa-awiri nokha. Ngati simukufuna kukhala ndi dandaulo la “Ndinanama ndikuwononga ubale wanga” kwa moyo wanu wonse, yesetsani kuchita zinthu momasuka ndi mnzanuyo.
Auzeni zomwe mukuchita komanso zomwe mudzachita mtsogolo. Ngati mukufuna malo anuanu muubwenzi , fotokozerani mnzanu zomwe mudzachita komanso chifukwa chake. Mukafuna kupezanso chidaliro muubwenzi mutanama kapena kuchita chinyengo, kusiya chomwe chinayambitsa vutoli ndiye sitepe yaikulu yomwe muyenera kuchita.
2. Ganizirani chifukwa chomwe munanamizira poyamba
Kumvetsetsa chifukwa chomwe munanamizira sikungakuthandizeni kudziwa momwe mungayambitsirenso chikhulupiliro mu ubale mutanama komanso kungakutetezeni kuti musapitenso pa dzenje lomwelo la kalulu. Kodi kunali kuopa chiweruzo? Kupewa mikangano? Manyazi? Khalani owona mtima nokha pazifukwa zazikuluzikulu, chifukwa kuzindikira kumeneku kungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi zomwe zimayambitsa ndikukula.
Zingakhale zothandizanso kufotokozera zifukwa izi kwa wokondedwa wanu, koma popanda kutsutsa kapena kumuimba mlandu. Lingaliro apa ndikukhala pachiwopsezo cha kukayikira kwanu, mantha, ndi kusatetezeka kwanu komwe kungakhale kukukakamizani kuti muname, kuwalola kuti akumvereni chisoni, osapangitsa kuti ziwoneke ngati mukunama kwa iwo mwanjira ina.
3. Pemphani chikhululuko moona
“Chabwino, Mulungu wanga! Pepani. Khazikani mtima pansi, si nkhani yaikulu,” ndi chinthu chomwe muyenera kunena ngati mukufuna kuchotsedwa muubwenzi wanu mwachangu kuposa momwe Usain Bolt angafikire kumapeto. Koma ndithudi si njira yoyenera kutsatira ngati mukudabwa momwe mungayambitsirenso kudalirana muubwenzi mutanama. Pachifukwa ichi, muyenera kupepesa moona mtima kwa mnzanu , ndipo mnzanuyo ayenera kuwona kuti zikuchokera pansi pamtima.
Ayi, maluwa ang'onoang'ono sangachite. Pezani zazikulu. M'malo mwake, tulukani ndikuphimba chipinda chonsecho mumaluwa ake omwe amakonda. Tengani bokosi la chokoleti, lembani mawu ochokera pansi pamtima, ndi kuwaphikira chakudya, mayadi asanu ndi anayi onse. Simukutuluka mwa izi mosavuta, mutha kupitanso patali ngati mukuwonetsadi munthu mumamukonda mutamupweteka.
Musamakhumudwitse wokondedwa wanu, musalavule zowona, khalani ndi zonse zomwe munachita ndikunama, ndikuvomereza malingaliro a mnzanuyo. Pemphani chikhululuko ngati mukutanthauza kunena mawu akuti, “Ndinakunama, ndakulepheretsani kundikhulupirira ndipo ndikupepesa kwambiri.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Kukhululuka N'chiyani Mu Ubale Ndipo Chifukwa Chiyani N'kofunika?
4. Yesetsani kuchita zinthu moonekera
Kodi mungatani kuti mubwererenso muubwenzi mutatha kunama, mukudabwa? Kukhala buku lotseguka kwa mnzanu ndi malo abwino kuyamba. Kukhazikitsanso chikhulupiriro mu ubale ndi momwe mungakhalire mowonekera. Mukasokoneza ndi kusokoneza chikhulupiriro chawo, atseguleni kwa iwo ndi kuwauza chifukwa chake munachitira izo, ngakhale zitakhala zovuta kwa inu kuvomereza chifukwa chake munachitira izo poyamba.
Ngati munachita izi chifukwa cha zimenezo, auzeni. Ngati munachita izi chifukwa munkafuna kubwezera chifukwa cha zinazake, auzeni, koma ganizirani za ubwino wa ubale wanu pamene mukuchita zimenezo. Ubwenzi suyenera kukhala masewera a chess. Komabe, kumbukirani kufotokoza zifukwa zanu kapena mbali yanu popanda kuoneka ngati mukuimba mlandu mnzanu kapena kupereka zifukwa pa zomwe mwachita. Pewani mawu odzudzula kapena kusinthana mlandu.
Pochita izi, mudzakhala mukufika pansi pakuwunikanso malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu. Nchiyani chinakupangitsani inu kuchita zomwe munachita? Munanama bwanji? Mafunso oti muyambitsenso kukhulupirirana muubwenzi angakuthandizeni nonse kudziwa chifukwa chake zidachitika poyamba. M'malo moletsa zizindikiro, yesetsani kuthetsa kufunika konama kuchokera ku mizu.
5. Kupititsa patsogolo kulankhulana muubwenzi wanu
Monga chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri paubwenzi, kufunika kokonza kulumikizana muubwenzi wanu sikunganyalanyazidwe. Izi zimakhala zofunika kwambiri pamene mukuyesera kupeza momwe mungabwezeretsere chidaliro muubwenzi mutanama. Mukalankhulana bwino mtsogolo, mumachotsa mwayi wobisa chinachake kwa mnzanu.
Kupatula apo, palibe kukayikira kuti mnzanuyo akulimbana ndi nkhani zodalirika pambuyo ponamizidwa. Palibe njira yabwinoko yowathandizira kuthana ndi kukaikira kovutirako ndikukukhulupiriraninso kuposa kulimbikitsa kulankhulana moona mtima, momasuka, ndi kuyanjanitsa mu ubale wanu.
Inde, momwe mungabwezeretsere chidaliro mu ubale pambuyo pa kunama kungakhale kophweka monga kukhazikitsa kulankhulana kwabwino ndi kwabwino ndi wokondedwa wanu. Limbikitsani kumasuka kwa wina ndi mnzake, ngakhale mituyo itakhala zinthu zomwe simungafune kukambirana. Kaŵirikaŵiri, amenewo ndiwo makambitsirano ofunika koposa mulimonse.
Ndiye, nthawi ina mnzako akadzanena kuti, “Palibe, ndili bwino”, ndiye msirikali. Osagwedeza phewa lanu ndikupewa zokambiranazo, dziwirani mutu ndikufunsa chifukwa chake sakugawana zomwe akufuna. Ngati muyesetsa kukulitsa kulankhulana kwabwino, sikudzakhala kovuta kupeza mmene mungayambirenso kukhulupirirana muubwenzi.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungadalirenso Munthu Akakupwetekani - Upangiri wa Akatswiri
6. Khalani bwenzi labwino kwambiri lomwe mungakhale
Ngakhale kupepesa kochokera pansi pamtima kumapangitsa kuti mpirawo ukuyendere bwino, mufunika kuchita zambiri kuposa usiku umodzi wokha wopepesa. Tsopano pakubwera gawo lomwe mumagwira ntchito yopatsa mnzanu ziro zifukwa zoti asakukhulupirireninso. Ngati mukuyesetsa kuti muyambirenso kukukhulupirirani ndi munthu amene munamulakwira, zochita zimamvekadi kuposa mawu.
Onetsetsani kuti tsopano ndinu bwenzi kapena bwenzi labwino kwambiri lomwe mnzanuyo angafunse ndikuwawonetsa kuti ndinu oyenera kuyesetsa kukhazikitsanso chikhulupiriro muubwenzi. Kutikita minofu kumbuyo, chakudya cham'mawa pabedi, kuthandizira, kuwachapira, kuwayendetsa bwino…chabwino, mwina musakhale woperekera chikho wawo, koma mumamva mfundo.
Khalani odalirika, tengani njira zosonyezera chikondi kwa mnzanu, ndipo onetsetsani kuti mnzanuyo akuona khama lomwe mukuchita mwa kukhala chete nthawi zonse. Mukuyesera kupeza momwe mungabwezeretsere chidaliro muubwenzi mutanama? Dziwani zomwe SO wanu akufuna mwa mnzanuyo ndikukhala munthu ameneyo. Ndicho chinsinsi chopangitsa mwamuna kukukhulupirirani kwathunthu kapena kubwezeretsanso chidaliro cha mkazi.
7. Dziperekeni kusintha
Kuti muthane ndi mavuto okhudzana ndi kudalirana muubwenzi, mwina chinthu chofunikira kwambiri chomwe mungachite ndikudzipereka ndi mtima wonse kuti musinthe. Dziwani zomwe zimakupangitsani kufuna kubisa zoona kwa mnzanu. Kudziwa momwe mungabwezeretsere kudalirana muubwenzi mutanama kungawoneke kovuta kwa ambiri chifukwa kumafuna kuti musiye machitidwe anu.
Izinso zimafuna kuti muyang'ane mkati, muyang'ane, ndikumvetsetsa chifukwa chake mumachita momwe mumachitira nthawi zina. N’chifukwa chiyani kunama kumaoneka ngati chinthu chosavuta kwa inu kusiyana ndi kucheza ndi mnzanuyo? Bwanji mukuwopa kuwawonetsa mbali zonse za inu nokha osati kubisala kumbuyo kwa mabodza opangidwa mosamala?
Pokhapokha ngati inu otsimikiza za mfundo yakuti muyenera ntchito pa mbali zina za umunthu wanu kuti ubwenzi ntchito, inu movutikira kuika kuyesetsa. Yankho la mmene kumanganso kukhulupirirana mu ubale pambuyo kunama lagona pa kukhala bwenzi yabwino ndi Baibulo la nokha mukhoza kukhala. Konzani chikhutiro m'mbali zina za moyo wanu ndipo simudzamva kufunika kokhala wachinyengo. Ndipo njira zopangira chidaliro paubwenzi zidzatsata.
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8. Patsani mnzanuyo nthawi
Pamafunika nthawi yochuluka, kuleza mtima, ndi khama kuti wina ayambenso kumukhulupirira. Mukasokoneza ndikuphwanya chikhulupiriro cha mnzanu mwa inu, simungayembekezere kuti akukhululukireni nthawi yomweyo. Zidzawatengera nthawi yayitali, ndipo sungakhale wosankha kuti zitenga nthawi yayitali bwanji. "Ndati pepani! Mukufunanso chiyani?" zidzangopangitsa kuti kapu yamadzi idonthe pankhope panu. Pokhapokha ngati mutafuna zimenezo pazifukwa zina, pewani kuumiriza mnzanuyo kuti akukhululukireni.
Mvetserani kuti nkhani zokhulupirirana pambuyo ponamizidwa sizitha msanga. Mumauza mnzanuyo kuti alibe chodetsa nkhawa kapena kumutsimikizira kuti simudzanamanso kapena kuwawonetsa kuti mwadzimvera chisoni sikungathetse mwamatsenga kuwonongeka komwe mabodza anu angayambitse. Akhoza kudzipeza okha osakukhulupirirani, kuwonjezera pa iwo okha.
Pamene mukukanda mutu wanu, "Kodi ndingatani kuti ndibwererenso pachibwenzi?", Chifukwa chatha miyezi 6 ndipo wokondedwa wanu sanathebe momwe munanamizira kwa iwo, mvetsetsani kuti inu nokha simungakonze izi. Wokondedwa wanu ayenera kukhala wotsimikiza 100% ngati angakukhululukireni kapena ayi.
Perekani mnzanu mpata ndi nthawi yomwe angafunike kuganizira ngati angathe kukukhululukirani. Monga momwe muyenera kudzipereka kukhala munthu wabwino kwambiri, mnzanuyo ayeneranso kudziwa ngati ndi vuto lomwe angalithetse. Momwe mungabwezeretsere chidaliro muubwenzi mutanama zimadaliranso momwe mnzanuyo alili wofunitsitsa kukukhululukirani ndikukulolani kuti mubwererenso.
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9. Mvetserani mnzanuyo
Zochita zolimbitsa chikhulupiriro kwa okwatirana zimaphatikizapo kulankhulana za zomwe muyenera kuchita mtsogolo, kuvomereza kuti mwalakwitsa, ndikumvetsetsa zomwe mnzanu akunena. Zoyembekeza zawo zidzalamulira momwe mungakonzere chibwenzi mutachita chinyengo ndi kunama. Ngakhale mnzanuyo akungokuuzani momwe adavutikira kuti mudamunamiza, mwa kungomvetsera ndi kuvomereza zolakwa zanu, mutha kuwapatsa chitsimikizo chomwe amafunikira kwambiri.
Kusanyalanyaza nkhawa zawo kapena kusokoneza malingaliro awo okwiya, kuwawa kapena kupwetekedwa ndi gawo lofunikira la momwe mungayambirenso kudalirana mu ubale pambuyo pa bodza. "Kodi tikambirana kangati izi?" “Kodi mungaleke ndi kuona kuti ndikuyesetsadi kuti mundikhulupirire?” Muyenera kupewa mawu ngati amenewa kuti mupite patsogolo poyesa kuyambiranso kukhulupirirana muubwenzi mutanama.
10. Osayembekezera kalikonse
Kodi mungayambire bwanji kukhulupirirana muubwenzi mutanama? Kumbukirani kuti kuyesetsa kosalekeza, ngakhale kochepa bwanji, kumatha kuwonjezera zotsatira zazikulu koma simungathe kuthamangira izi. Ngati mwakhala mukugwira ntchito nokha, ngati mwakhala mukuchita zonse zomwe mungathe kuti mukhale bwenzi labwino kwambiri lomwe mungakhale ndipo mnzanuyo sananenepo kanthu za izo, kukhumudwa nazo sikungapindule kwambiri ndi ubale wanu. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kudzipereka kukonza ubalewu pasadakhale ndikofunikira.
Nonse awiri mukadzipereka, muyenera kuvomereza ndi mapazi onse awiri. Simungataye mtima wanu ndikulola mkwiyo kusokoneza chiweruzo chanu ngati simunalandire mawu oyamikira chifukwa cha khama lomwe mukuchita. Zochita zolimbitsa chidaliro kwa okwatirana sizitsimikizira kukhutira nthawi yomweyo. Phunzirani kusamalira ziyembekezo zanu muubwenzi moyenera.
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11. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri
Kaya ndi chithandizo cha mabanja kapena chithandizo chamunthu payekha, gwiritsani ntchito chilichonse chomwe mungafune kuti muchiritse. Katswiri adzatha kukuuzani momwe mungayambitsirenso chikhulupiliro mu ubale mutanama. Mutapatsidwa kusanthula kwanzeru chifukwa chomwe mumanama komanso zomwe mungachite kuti mulimbitse ubale wanu, sizikuwoneka ngati kukankhira mwala phiri.
Ngati khama lanu silinaphule kanthu mpaka pano ndipo mukufuna thandizo kuti muyambenso kudalirana ndi munthu amene mudamupweteka, alangizi aluso komanso odziwa bwino ntchito omwe ali pagulu la Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni. Ndi malangizo ndi chithandizo chawo, mutha kumvetsetsa bwino momwe mungachiritsire ku kudalirana komwe kwasweka muubwenzi wanu.
Mafunso Ofunsidwa Kawirikawiri
1. Kodi kunama kumatenga nthawi yayitali bwanji kuti munthu ayambenso kukhulupirirana?
Nthawi yoti muyambenso kudalirana muubwenzi mutatha kunama imadalira nthawi yomwe zimatenga kuti mnzanuyo adzimve kuti ali otetezeka nanu. Mukatsatira zinthu zoyenera kuchita kuti mubwezeretse kudalirana, mumathandizira kuti ntchitoyi ichitike mwachangu. Mukafunsira kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo, mudzatha kuchepetsa nthawiyo ndi kuchuluka kwake. Ngati mukufuna kufunsa katswiri wa zamaganizo kuti akuthandizeni kumanganso kudalirana muubwenzi wanu, Bonobology ili ndi akatswiri ambiri odziwa bwino ntchito kuti akuthandizeni kuchita zimenezo.
2. Kodi munthu angayambenso kukhulupirirana?
Inde, mungayambirenso kukhulupirirana muubwenzi wanu ngati mutachita zonse zoyenera. Yesetsani kukhala bwenzi labwino kwambiri lomwe mungakhale. Perekani nthawi ndi malo okondedwa anu kuti akukhululukireni ndikudzipereka kukhala munthu wabwino. Kupanganso kukhulupirirana, ngakhale kuli kovuta, sikungatheke ngati onse awiri ali odzipereka kuti ubalewo ukhale wolimba.
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Bodza limadzetsa kukhulupirirana mu maubwenzi, zomwe zingawononge ubale wa banja
- Kutalikirana, kusalankhulana bwino, kusungulumwa, ndi kusagwirizana ndi zina mwa zovuta zomwe zimachitika chifukwa cha kunama pachibwenzi.
- Kuyambira mabodza oyera mpaka mabodza osiyidwa, kukokomeza, mabodza azachuma, ndi kusakhulupirika, mabodza osiyanasiyana amakhudza ubale m'njira zosiyanasiyana.
- Kuti muyambitsenso chidaliro paubwenzi mutanama, muyenera kuyankha mlandu pa zomwe mwachita, kupepesa moona mtima, kuyesetsa kuti mutsimikizire mnzanuyo, kudzipereka kusintha.
- Ngati kuli kofunikira, funsani akatswiri kuti athe kuthana ndi mavuto omwe angakupangitseni kunama ndikuphunzira momwe mungalimbikitsire kuwonekera komanso kukhulupirika muubwenzi wanu.
Maganizo Final
Ngakhale kuti ntchito zomangitsiranso chikhulupiliro muubwenzi sizitha kupereka zotsatira pompopompo, muyenera kudzipereka kuti musinthe ubale wanu. Kumanganso kukhulupirirana sikukhala kuyenda mu paki, koma ndichifukwa choti simungafune kukhulupirira munthu yemwe ali ndi udindo wophwanya, sichoncho? Pogwiritsa ntchito njira zomwe talemba kuti muyambirenso kukhulupirirana muubwenzi, mukhala mukuyandikira sitepe imodzi tsiku lililonse kuti mutengenso chikhalidwe cha bwenzi lodalirika.
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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
