Chofunika kwambiri paubwenzi uliwonse ndi kukhulupirirana. Popanda kukhulupirirana, sipangakhale kukhulupirika pa chikondi. Ndipo chinthu chimodzi chomwe chimawononga chilichonse chomwe chili chabwino muubwenzi ndi bodza. Munthu akamanamiza pa chibwenzi, umasiya kumukhulupirira. Kunama paubwenzi kumapangitsa kuti chilichonse ndi chilichonse chomwe mumachikonda chimayamba kutha pang'onopang'ono.
N’chifukwa chiyani anthu amanama? Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zambiri n’chakuti amawopa kukumana ndi zotsatirapo zake ngati aulula kuti alakwa. Amuna ndi akazi onse amanama kwa okondedwa awo, mwina chifukwa choopa kuwakhumudwitsa kapena kubisa zolakwa zawo. Tsoka ilo, bodza limodzi loyera limabweretsa lina, ndipo musanadziwe, kunama kumakhala chizolowezi.
Funso lomwe limakhala lalikulu ndilakuti: chochita ngati wina akunamizani pachibwenzi? Kunyalanyaza mfundo yakuti wokondedwa wanu akunama kukhoza kukhala kovuta kwambiri ndi nthano zonse zabodza zomwe amakupangirani. Kunamizidwa ndi munthu amene mumamukonda sikungokhumudwitsa komanso kungachititse kuti musayambe kukhulupirirana, n’kusiya ubwenzi wanu pa zifukwa zosamveka. Ndiye mungatani kuti muthetse vutoli? Tiyeni tiyese kumvetsetsa. Koma choyamba, muyenera kuphunzira kuwerenga molondola zizindikiro za kusaona mtima muubwenzi.
Kodi Mungadziwe Bwanji Ngati Winawake Akukunamizani Mu Ubwenzi?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kodi ndi anthu angati amene amanama muubwenzi? Ngati munadzifunsapo izi mutanamizidwa ndi mnzanu, mwina mungapeze chitonthozo podziwa kuti si inu nokha amene mumakumana ndi kusakhulupirika muubwenzi. Kafukufuku wochitidwa ndi yunivesite ya Massachusetts adapeza kuti anthu ambiri amanama mukamakambirana tsiku ndi tsiku. Malinga ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Robert S. Feldman, pafupifupi 60% ya anthu amanama kamodzi kokha pa nthawi yokambirana kwa mphindi 10 ndipo amanena mabodza awiri kapena atatu.
Amuna ndi akazi onse amanama pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana. Koma kunamizidwa ndi munthu amene umamukonda n’kovuta kwambiri. Ngakhale kuti chibwenzi chonama amaona kuti akhoza kuthawa ndi zifukwa zake, zoona zake n’zakuti munthu wina akakunamiza ali pachibwenzi pamakhala zinthu zina zosonyeza kuti munthuyo wamwalira. Samalani ndi zizindikiro izi za kusakhulupirika muubwenzi ndipo chenjerani:
1. Amachita mosiyana
Munthu akakunamizani muubwenzi, kusintha kulikonse kwa khalidwe lake kumaonekera. Chifukwa chake, kukhala kutali ndi munthu wodzipatula, ngati mwadzidzidzi ayamba kusamala kwambiri komanso kumvetsetsa, kapena mosiyana, dziwani kuti pali zambiri zomwe zimafunika pa khalidwe lake kuposa kusintha kwa maganizo. Nthawi ina mungamve kuti atuluka muubwenzi , nthawi ina amakhala ndi maganizo abwino.
Kusasinthasintha ndi chizindikiro cha unansi wabwino kotero pamene muwona khalidwe losagwirizana ndi chikhalidwe chawo chenicheni kapena umunthu, mabelu ochenjeza ayenera kulira momveka bwino. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kunama ndi chinyengo mu maubwenzi.
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2. Pamene mizere yawo ikumva kubwerezabwereza
Ngati mnzanu akufotokoza nkhani yomwe ikuwoneka ngati yolembedwa ndipo imamveka mosiyana ndi momwe amalankhulira nthawi zambiri, antenna yanu iyenera kukwera mmwamba. Mwachitsanzo, ngati afotokoza nkhani yosavuta kangapo, mofanana ndi nthawi yapitayi, ndi chizindikiro chochenjeza kuti pali cholakwika. Kunena mawu obwerezabwereza kungakhalenso chizindikiro cha chinyengo.
Njira imodzi yosavuta yowagwira mosazindikira ndi kuwafunsanso funso lomwelo pakadutsa masiku angapo. Ngati yankho likuwoneka kuti labwerezedwa bwino, ndipo amayankha popanda kupuma kapena kuphonya kugunda ngati mawu oloweza pamtima, ndi nsomba. Chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa kaŵirikaŵiri munthu angasinthe kamvekedwe kake kapena kuphonya mfundo zing’onozing’ono pamene akufotokoza chochitika chomwecho.
3. Zikakhala zosamveka bwino mwatsatanetsatane
Zambiri kapena zochepa kwambiri ndizokwanira kudzutsa kukayikira. Psychology yoyambirira ya kunama mu maubwenzi ndi yakuti wabodza, pofuna kumveka ngati zoona ndi zenizeni momwe angathere, amakonda kufotokoza mopambanitsa zochitika, kuwonjezera zambiri pa nkhaniyo.
Nthaŵi zina, iwo angamveke mwadala osamveka bwino ndi osalabadira kuti aletse kufunsidwa mafunso. Uwu ukhoza kukhala nkhani yachikale ya kunama mosadukiza mu maubwenzi. Mwachitsanzo, bwenzi la Tara, yemwe ankamunyengerera, ankamufotokozera zomwe zinkachitika tsiku lake mwatsatanetsatane. Iye amasiya mosamala mbali imene anali kuchita zambiri mwa zinthu zimenezi ndi wantchito mnzake amene amagona naye.
Kulankhula pang'ono chabe kunali kokwanira kuti Tara amugwire pa bodza lake, ndipo mafupawo anatuluka m'chipinda chosungiramo zinthu. Ngati mukukayikira mnzanuyo kuti ndi wabodza, muyenera kukhala anzeru ndi mafunso anu otsutsana nawo kuti muwapeze. Munthu akakunamizani muubwenzi, pali chifukwa chochepa chokhalira ndi mlandu. Mwachitsanzo, mwina akunama kuti athetse vuto la kudziona ngati wolakwa , choncho angachite chilichonse chomwe chili m'buku lawo kuti asayambe kukayikira.
4. Chilankhulo cha thupi
Ichi mwina ndi chizindikiro chofala kwambiri koma chimafuna kubwerezabwereza. Munthu akakunamizani muubwenzi, thupi lake limasintha. Amakakamizika pang'ono, kuseweretsa tsitsi lawo, kupanga manja, ndi zina zotero. Ngati akupota ulusi wonse, sadzakumana ndi maso anu. Izi ndi zizindikiro zenizeni za mwamuna kapena mkazi wabodza.
Zindikirani kusintha kwa mawu awo ngati mukufuna kuwafunsa za komwe ali ndipo sangathe kufotokoza bwino - zitha kukhala zosagwirizana, zotsika komanso kusowa mwatsatanetsatane. Pokhapokha atadziwa luso la kunama mwangwiro, mawu ndi matupi awo amavumbula umunthu wawo weniweni. Kusamala mwatsatanetsatane ndi njira yosavuta yopezera munthu amene akunama pachibwenzi.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Mungatani Ndi Mwamuna Wabodza?
Momwe Mungayankhire Pamene SO Yanu Yakunamizani
Kunyozeka, kukanidwa ndi mkwiyo ndi zina mwa zotsatira za kusaona mtima muubwenzi. Mumamva kutengeka ndi ulendo wachifumu wina akakunamizani pachibwenzi. Zimakhala zoipitsitsa ngati wina akunamizani ndipo mukudziwa zoona kapena mbali ina ya choonadi. Kuona kuti anthu sakulemekezedwa kumawonjezeka mofanana ndi kuphwanya chikhulupiriro.
Pa nthawi ngati zimenezi, n’chibadwa kuti munthu achite zinthu mopupuluma. Mwina mungafune kumugwira munthuyo kapena kudikirira kuti nthawi yoyenera iphulike. Kwenikweni, njira zonse ziwirizi ndi zolakwika. Musanasankhe kulimbana ndi bodza, ganizirani mozama ndipo phunzirani zimene mungachite munthu wina akakunamizani.
1. Pezani mayankho enanso
Mwina mungakhumudwe ndi bodza koma dziwani kuti bodza silinenedwa paokha. Nthawi zambiri pamakhala nkhani ndi chifukwa, ngakhale zingawoneke ngati zosayenera kwa inu. Choncho mukaona kuti mnzanuyo wakunamizani, kugwedezeka koyambako kukatha, fufuzani mozungulira ndi kufufuza ngati pali zambiri pa nkhaniyo.
Pezani mayankho a mafunso oyenera - chifukwa chiyani ananama? Kodi akhala akunama kwanthawi yayitali bwanji?
Ndani wina amene anali nawo m'mabodza awo? Kodi anali kunama pa chinthu chimodzi chokha kapena pali zambiri? Chofunika kwambiri, kodi mabodza awo ndi otani? Kodi ndi mabodza osavuta koma okhumudwitsa kapena chinthu china chozama kwambiri monga chibwenzi kapena kukunyengani ndalama kapena kusakhulupirika pazachuma ? Mayankho a mafunsowa adzakuuzani momwe mungayankhire mabodza ndi chinyengo m'maubwenzi.
2. Yang'anani ngati ali ndi chitsanzo pa mabodza awo
Amuna ndi akazi ena ndi abodza okakamiza moti amangosiya nkhani zawo popanda mantha. Pamene wina akunamizani paubwenzi, yesani ndikuwona ngati akunama kwa inu nokha komanso pankhani za ubale wanu kapena amachita zachinyengo ndi enanso.
Kodi amaonetsa zizoloŵezi zimenezo kuntchito kapena ndi anzawo? Ngati inde, ndiye kuti mwina ndi abodza chizolowezi. Mwina ndi khalidwe lofuna kuwongolera. Mwachitsanzo, ngati muwona kuti mnzanuyo nthawi zambiri amanama kwa abwenzi awo, ogwira nawo ntchito ndi makolo kuti asamachite zinthu zomwe sakufuna? Nenani kuti mnzanu akufunsani mnzanu kuti apite nawo kukakwera, koma amakana podziyerekezera kuti ali ndi zolinga ndi inu pamene akufuna kugona.
Ngati ndi choncho, kunama kungakhale chinthu chachibadwa kwa mnzanuyo. Komabe, ngati akubisa zinthu kwa inu nokha, ndiye kuti nkhaniyi ifunika njira ina komanso mwina yosamala kwambiri. Pali mabodza oyera omwe okwatirana amauzana koma bodza likayamba kukhala gawo la chibwenzi zimakhala zoopsa.
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3. Osakumana nawo nthawi yomweyo
Kodi mungatani ngati wina akunamizani pachibwenzi? Yankho la funsoli lagonanso m'mene osayankhira nkhaniyi. Choyipa kwambiri chomwe mungachite mukapeza kuti wina wakunamizani pachibwenzi ndikupita ma cylinders onse akuwombera ndikukakumana nawo nthawi yomweyo. Perekani nthawi ndikuwawonetsa ndi chingwe chachitali. Khalani osamala koma pang'onopang'ono onjezerani mafunso anu kwa iwo.
Choncho ngati akhala ' akuchedwa kuntchito' kwa nthawi yayitali m'malo mongovomereza zomwe akunena, afunseni mafunso okhudza ntchito. Nthawi zambiri kuti abise bodza limodzi, ayenera kunena lina. Aloleni atero. Mwanjira imeneyi, mudzatha kupeza nkhani zambiri zofunika kuchokera kwa iwo kuti mukambirane mtsogolo.
4. Adziwitseni kuti simukugula mabodza awo
Mukatsimikiza kuti akunamizidwa, musachite zinthu zopanda mlandu. Ngakhale kuti mwachedwetsa kufunsa mafunso enieni, auzeni kuti mukudziwa zolinga zawo. Izi zitha kuwachititsa manyazi kapena kuwapangitsa kukhala odzitchinjiriza.
Komabe, adziwitseni kuti simudzagulanso nkhani zawo. Mutha kuchita izi pofunsa mafunso opanda mayankho kapena kusankha mabowo ang'onoang'ono m'nkhani zawo. Koma mwa kusalabadira kapena kuwaitanira kotheratu, mungawapatse chidaliro chopitiriza kunama ndi kukutengani kukwera galimoto.
Mukalola kuti mabodza ang'onoang'ono asokonezeke, mungasiyidwe mukulimbana ndi zonong'oneza bondo monga ngati 'ukwati wanga wonse unali bodza' kapena 'Ndinawononga zaka zambiri pamwambo waubwenzi' pamene kusaona mtima kumayamba kukulirakulira ndipo kumasokoneza kukhulupirirana.
Zoyenera Kuchita Wina Akakunamiza Paubwenzi
Kotero tsopano mwawona zizindikiro za kusakhulupirika muubwenzi, mwatsimikizira kuti mukunamizidwa, ndipo mwayankha mosamala ndi mogwira mtima. Kuzindikira kunamizidwa ndi munthu amene mumam’konda kumapereka m’malo mwa mafunso ambiri: Kodi mungatani ngati wina akunamizani pachibwenzi? Kodi mabodzawa muthana nawo bwanji? Mukhala chete mpaka liti?
Kunama - kaya mwa kukokomeza kapena kubisa mfundo kapena kupotoza chowonadi kuti mukunyengerereni - kungakhale kopweteka. Kutengera ndi kuzama kwa ubale ndi momwe mabodzawo akukhudzirani, muyenera kusankha - kodi mumakhalabe mu ubale wotere kapena muupatse mwayi wina? Nazi zina zomwe mungachite wina akakunamizani mu ubale:
1. Akumane nawo ndi umboni
Pamene mabodza ndi kubera kufika malire osavomerezeka, ndi nthawi kukumana ndi mnzanuyo. Musanatero, onetsetsani kuti muli ndi mfundo zonse. Onetsetsani kuti ndi amene mukutsogolera zokambiranazo. Choncho m’malo modikira nthawi yabwino, pangani nthawi ‘yofunika kukambirana’.
Martha adapeza kuti chibwenzi chake, Jake, nthawi zonse amalumikizana ndi mkazi wake wakale ngakhale adamutsimikizira kuti wakale wake wachotsedwa. "Ananama atangoyamba kumene chibwenzicho ndipo sindikanatha." Ndiye nditakumana ndi mameseji awo, nthawi yomweyo ndinakumana naye ndikumuuza Jake mosakayikira kuti amayenera kundifotokozera momveka ngati akufuna kuti ubalewo upitirire. Kumutcha kuti kunama sikunali chinthu chophweka koma chinayenera kuchitika, "akutero.
Uku ndi kukambirana kosavuta ndipo kumatha kupita njira iliyonse kuti muwatchule mabodza awo. Chotero mwinamwake lingakhale lingaliro labwino kukhala ndi mboni, mwinamwake bwenzi lapamtima, amene angakhalepo panthaŵiyo.
2. Musataye kukhulupirika kwanu
Kudziwa kuti munthu amene munamudalira komanso amene munaika maganizo ake pa inu sanakukhulupirireni n’koipa kwambiri. Koma yesetsani kuti kusakhulupirika muubwenzi wanu kusawononge umphumphu wanu. Musalole kuti mavuto anu okhulupirirana azilamulira momwe mumachitira ndi mnzanuyo. Mwina anatsika pansi, koma muyenera kukwera pamwamba. Musamusewere kapena kumunyoza.
M'malo mwake, khalani nokha weniweni. Mukakumana nawo, onetsani moona mtima mmene zochita zawo zakupwetekerani. M’malo mowaimba mlandu (zimene zingawapangitse kulungamitsa zochita zawo), lankhulani za inuyo ndi mmene mukumvera. Pamapeto pake, ndicho chinthu chokha chomwe chili chofunikira. Mchitidwe wanu wokhazikika ndi wokhazikika pamabodza a mnzanuyo ndi chinyengo zitha kukhala ndi chiyambukiro chachikulu pa iwo kuposa momwe mungakalipire ndi kukuwa.
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3. Funsani zolinga za ubale wanu
Mphunzitsi Adrian, mlangizi wa ubale komanso wothandizira pa Love Advice TV ali ndi lingaliro losavuta - lembani zolinga za ubale wanu. “Kodi mukuyesera kusintha munthu amene sangasinthe, kapena mukuyesetsa kumenyera ubwenzi umene sungathe kutha?”
Tsopano, chifukwa chakuti munthu amabera kapena kunama, sizitanthauza kuti samakukondani. N’kutheka kuti analakwitsapo zinazake ndipo ananama. Koma ndipamene maganizo anu amayamba. Kodi ndinu okonzeka kunyalanyaza zolakwa zawo chifukwa ubale wanu umatanthauzidwa ndi zambiri? Kodi mukuganiza kuti mutha kukhala moyo wanu wonse mukufufuza momwe mungagonjetsere wina akunamizeni? Ngati ndi yotsirizira, ndiye kuti zingakhale zopindulitsa kulingalira mozama kutuluka.
4. Khulupirirani mtima wanu
A ulusi pang'ono apa kapena apo mwina sangalole kuthetsa chibwenzi koma masitepe ang'onoang'ono kumabweretsa machimo aakulu. Tikuti, khulupirirani malingaliro anu pa izo. Ngati mukumana ndi mnzanuyo ndi mabodza ake, muwone ngati alidi olapa ndi manyazi.
Musamapeputse kapena kuchepetsa ululu wanu chifukwa ndi wolondola. Choncho khulupirirani chibadwa chanu ngati mungakhulupirirenso muubwenzi wanu. Musapitirize kuganizira mafunso monga, “ Kodi akunyenga kapena ndine wokayikira ?” Ngati mukuona kuti simungathe kukhululukira ndikuiwala, musazengereze kutenga sitepe yaikulu monga kulekana ndi mayesero kapena kuchoka pang'ono mpaka mutadziwa zomwe mukufuna kuchita.
Ubale uliwonse umakhala wozikidwa pa kukhulupirika koma nthawi zina, zikasokonekera, zinthu zina zingapo zofanana zimakhudzidwanso. Ngakhale kuti nthawi zonse zimakhala bwino kuganizira zotsatira zake musanayambe kuganiza, musalole aliyense - ngakhale wokondedwa wanu - kuti asakulemekezeni ndi mabodza. Chilichonse chimene mumachita pambuyo pake chimasonyeza mmene mumadzionera.
Ibibazo
Mabodza amatha kuwononga ubale. Munthu akamanama mu ubale, kwenikweni amakhala akuswa malonjezo omwe adapanga kwa mnzake. Zimakhala zovuta kumanga chidaliro pambuyo pake.
Chisankhocho ndi chanu chokha chifukwa kukhululukirana kumadalira kuzama kwa ubale wanu, momwe mabodzawo akukhudzirani inu ndi mnzanu komanso zolinga za ubale wanu.
Ubale ukhoza kuonongeka ndi mabodza chifukwa nthawi zambiri sasiya pa bodza limodzi. Kuti abise mfundo, munthu amayenera kupeka zifukwa ndi nkhani zambiri. Zotsatira zake n’zakuti maziko enieni a ubwenzi amasweka.
Ngati mabodza ndi akulu kwambiri ndipo awononga chidaliro chanu simungathe kuwathetsa. Ndi bwino kupuma pang'ono muubwenzi ndikuwona momwe mukumvera ndi mnzanuyo. Ngati kusakhulupirika kuli kwakukulu kwambiri , ndi bwino kuswa.
Zizindikiro za 5 Palibe Lamulo Lolumikizana Likugwira Ntchito
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
