Kodi Kutha Kwa Ubale Ndi Chiyani Ndi Momwe Mungayendetsere

Maubwenzi amatha kukhala ovuta, ndipo nthawi zina, kubwerera kumbuyo kumakhala kofunikira kuti mumveke bwino. Nkhaniyi ikufotokoza chomwe chiri kutha kwa ubale pofufuza tanthauzo lake, ubwino wake, ndi zovuta zake. Mabanja ambiri amakhala ndi nthawi zosatsimikizika pamene mikangano yosalekeza ndi kutopa kwamalingaliro kumasokoneza mgwirizano wawo. Zikatero, kupuma kumapereka mpata wolingalira ndikukula payekha. 

Buku lathu lotsogolera likufotokoza ubwino ndi zoopsa zomwe zingachitike, polankhulana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo wochokera ku California komanso katswiri wa zamaganizo, Dr. Shefali Batra (MD mu matenda amisala), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wokhudza kulekana ndi kusudzulana, kusudzulana ndi chibwenzi, komanso nkhani zokhudzana ndi kuyanjana musanakwatirane. Kaya mukudabwa kuti kumatanthauza chiyani kupuma muubwenzi kapena mukufuna njira zothandiza kuti mukonzenso, pitirizani kuwerenga kuti mupeze upangiri womveka bwino, pang'onopang'ono.

Kodi Kuthetsa Ubale Ndi Chiyani?

Kupuma paubwenzi kuli ngati kumenya batani loyimitsa pawonetsero pa Netflix - simukuthetsa, koma simukuwoneranso. Umu ndi mmene Dr. Batra akuifotokozera kuti “Nthawi yochepa imene okwatirana onse amatenga nthaŵi yotalikirana paubwenzi kuti apeze kawonedwe kawo, kuthetsa nkhani zaumwini, ndi kuthetsa chitsenderezo cha kuganiza kosalekeza.” 

Mwachitsanzo, ngati nkhani iliyonse ikusintha kukhala mkangano kapena mukuyamba kulakalaka ulendo wopita nokha, mungayambe kufunsa kuti, “Kodi kupumula muubwenzi kumatanthauza chiyani? Kodi kungapulumutse ubale wathu?” Mosiyana ndi kusudzulana, kupuma kumeneku kumabwera ndi chiyembekezo choyanjananso, kupatsa onse awiri mwayi wokonzanso malingaliro awo.

Kusweka vs kutha

Kusankha pakati pa kupuma muubwenzi ndi kuuthetsa kwathunthu kungakhale kovuta. Ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa kusiyana kwake, chifukwa chisankhocho chimakhudza momwe zinthu zikuyendera mtsogolo. Mukadzifunsa kuti, "Kodi kusweka kwa maubwenzi ndi kwabwino?", ganizirani kuti kupuma kumeneku ndi cholinga choganizira osati kulekana kosatha. Kuzindikira kusiyana kwa kusweka ndi kusweka kumathandiza kupanga chisankho chodziwa bwino. Nazi kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa zonsezi:

• Kulekana kwakanthawi: Kupuma pachibwenzi ndi kupuma kwakanthawi, pomwe kupatukana kumatanthauza kutha kwamuyaya
• Mwayi wodziwunikira: Kupuma kumapereka nthawi yodziwonetsera, pamene kupatukana kumayang'ana kwambiri kusuntha
• Malire ofotokozedwa: Pa nthawi yopuma, onse awiri amavomereza malamulo, mosiyana ndi kusamveka bwino pakutha
• Kuthekera kwa kuyanjanitsa: Kupuma kumapereka chiyembekezo cha mgwirizano wamtsogolo, pamene kupatukana kumawonedwa ngati chosankha chosatha

Ubwino Ndi Kuipa Kwa Kupumula

Kuyang'ana ubwino ndi kuipa kwa kupuma pachibwenzi kungathandize okondedwa kusankha njira yabwino yopitira patsogolo. Panthawi imeneyi, anthu amakhala ndi mwayi wowunika momwe akumvera, kukonzanso zomwe amaika patsogolo, ndikulingalira ngati kuyanjanitsa kungatheke. Ambiri amayamikira ubwino wopuma paubwenzi, monga nthawi yodzikuza komanso kuchepetsa mikangano. Kumbali inayi, zovuta zomwe zingakhalepo zimatha kuwonekera, kuwulula zakuya kapena kupanga mtunda wosayembekezereka. Kumvetsetsa tanthauzo la kupuma paubwenzi ndikofunikira musanapange kaye uku. Ngati mukuganiza kuti, "Kodi kupuma mu ubale kuli bwino?" Nachi kusanthula kukuthandizani kusankha:

ubwino	kuipa
Nthawi yosinkhasinkha za malingaliro	Chiwopsezo chakukulirakulira ngati zovuta sizingathetsedwe
Mwayi wophonya wina ndi mzake ndikupezanso zokonda zanu	Munthu mmodzi akhoza kusuntha, kupangitsa kuyanjanitsa kukhala kovuta
Malo ochiritsira ku mikangano ndikupeza kumveka bwino kwamalingaliro	Kusatsimikizika kwa malire kungayambitse kusamvana
Mwayi bwererani ndi yambani mwatsopano ndi malingaliro atsopano	Ikhoza kukhala sitepe yopita ku chisudzulo ngati malingaliro asintha
Zimalepheretsa okwatirana kupanga zisankho mopupuluma zomwe zingawabweretsere chisoni	Zitha kuyambitsa chisokonezo kuposa kumveka bwino, kutalikitsa chisankho

Zifukwa Zomwe Maanja Amatenga Nthawi Yopuma Paubwenzi

Okwatirana amasankha kupuma pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana zovuta. Dr. Batra akuti, "Nthawi zambiri chisankhochi chimachokera ku mikangano yobwerezabwereza, kutopa maganizo , kapena chikhumbo chofuna kukula. Mavuto akamaoneka ngati osagonjetseka, kupuma muubwenzi kungawoneke ngati yankho lothandiza." Kuphatikiza apo, okwatirana ena amagwiritsa ntchito nthawiyi kudzipeza okha. Nazi zifukwa zina zopumira muubwenzi zomwe zafotokozedwa mwatsatanetsatane.

1. Kutopa m'maganizo chifukwa chomenyana nthawi zonse

Chifukwa chimodzi chomwe anthu ambiri amasankhira kupuma ndi kutopa kwambiri m'maganizo chifukwa cha ndewu zosalekeza. Dr. Batra akunena kuti, "Pamene tsiku lililonse limakhala ngati nkhondo, kupsinjika maganizo kumatha kuwononga ubale wanu. Mikangano pa nkhani zazing'ono, monga amene anaiwala kutseka chitseko kapena kusamvana kwina kwazing'ono, imawonjezeka pakapita nthawi ndipo imasiya onse awiri otopa maganizo ." Kupuma m'mikhalidwe yotere kungathandize banjali kumvetsetsa vuto lalikulu lomwe limayambitsa mikanganoyi ndikuwathandiza kumanganso ubale wawo.

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2. Kusatsimikizika pamalingaliro

Chifukwa china chimene maanja amasankha kuyimitsa chibwenzi chawo ndi kusatsimikiza za malingaliro awo. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, wina angakayikire ngati chikondi choyamba chidakalipo kapena chachepa. Kukangana kwamkati kumeneku kumabweretsa kudzikayikira komanso kusokonezeka. Izi zitha kuwoneka motere:

• Kumva kukwiyira mnzanu
• Kukhumudwa ndi zochita zawo zazing'ono, ngakhale akuyesera kusonyeza chikondi
• Kudzimva wopanda chidwi ndi iwo

Dr. Batra akutero, “Pazochitika zotere, kutha kwa ubale kungathandize maanja kudziwa ngati malingaliro awa ndi gawo chabe, chifukwa cha zochitika zakunja, kapena ngati chikondi pakati pawo chatha ndipo nthawi yakwana yoti athawe .”

3. Mavuto omwe alipo okhudza zam'tsogolo

Nthawi zina, lingaliro la tsogolo logawana limayambitsa vuto lomwe liripo. M’kupita kwa nthawi, anthu amakula ndi kusintha. Ndipo nthawi zina, kusinthaku kungapangitse okondedwa kukayikira ngati zolinga za moyo wawo ndi maloto awo akugwirizananso. Kukayika uku kumabweretsa nkhawa yokhudzana ndi kutha kwa ubalewo. Panthawi imeneyi, maanja atha kuganiza zobwerera mmbuyo ndikuwunikanso mapulani awo. Izi zimawalola kulingalira ngati kuyanjanitsa kusiyana kuli kotheka kapena ngati kupatukana sikungapeweke.

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4. “Ndiyenera kuganizira za ine ndekha”

Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zopumira paubwenzi ndi kunena kuti munthu ayenera kudziganizira yekha. Chifukwa ichi, nthawi zina chimawonedwa ngati chowiringula, chingasonyeze moona mtima chikhumbo cha kukula kwaumwini. Ganizirani zizindikiro izi:

• Chidwi chatsopano pa zokonda komanso zolinga zantchito
• Kufunika kukhala pawekha kuti udzizindikiritsenso kuti ndiwe mwini
• A kufunika kwa danga kudziwa zofuna ndi zofuna za munthu pa chikondi ndi kugonana
• Kufunika nthawi kuti muchiritse ku zoopsa zilizonse / zovuta zamaganizidwe

Mwachitsanzo, tengerani nkhani ya wogwiritsa ntchito reddit uyu , "Kuti ndimupatse nthawi yoti azingoganizira za thanzi lake lokha (ndi kuthetsa mavuto omwe akumuvutitsa maganizo, monga ntchito), ndinapereka lingaliro loti ndipite ku "sabata" (monga kupuma komwe ntchito zina zikuchitidwa), ndikubwereranso ndikuwona ngati pali china chilichonse chomwe chikuyenda bwino mwa iye, kuti tibwererenso tili olimba mtima."

5. Kutha kwapang'onopang'ono pobisala

Pomaliza, maanja ena amapuma ngati njira yothetsera chibwenzi chawo mwanjira ina. Pazochitika izi, kupuma sikutanthauza kuganizirana kwambiri koma kupewa kupweteka kwa kutha kwa chibwenzi. Mnzawo m'modzi angayembekezere mwachinsinsi kuti kutalikirana kudzapangitsa kuti kuyanjananso kukhale kovuta. Izi zikubweretsa funso lakuti: kodi kupuma muubwenzi kumagwira ntchito m'malo mwa kutha kwa chibwenzi? Mwina, ngati onse awiri akuyembekezera zotsatira zomwezo. Koma ngati sichoncho, mnzawo m'modzi angasiyidwe chisoni pamene winayo akuyesera kupewa mlandu wotha kwa chibwenzi.

Monga momwe nkhaniyi inanenedwera ndi wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit , "Ine ndi chibwenzi changa, timangomenyana. Ndinkafuna kuthetsa zinthu koma ndinachita mantha, ndipo ndinaganiza zopuma kaye."

Zizindikiro zomwe muyenera kupuma mu ubale wanu

Kuzindikira zizindikiro zomwe zikusonyeza kuti nthawi yopuma pang'ono ndi yofunika kwambiri pa thanzi la ubale. Mukawona kuti palibe kulumikizana kwabwino —kumene ngakhale mauthenga ang'onoang'ono kapena mafoni amakuvutitsani—mungadzipeze mukulakalaka kukhala nokha m'malo mogawana nthawi. Komanso, chilakolako chothawa kukwiya nthawi zonse chingakhale chodziwikiratu. Nazi zizindikiro zina zomwe zingakuthandizeni kusankha ngati kutenga nthawi yopuma muubwenzi ndi sitepe yoyenera kupita patsogolo.

1. Mphwayi pamene foni yanu ikulira

Chizindikiro chimodzi chomwe chikuwonetsa kuti mwina ndi nthawi yopuma ndi pomwe foni yanu ikulira, ndipo m'malo mosangalala, mumamva kuti mulibe chidwi. Chiyembekezo chozoloŵereka cha uthenga chimaloŵedwa m’malo ndi lingaliro la thayo kapena ngakhale mpumulo umene mungathe kuunyalanyaza. Kulekanitsidwa kwamalingaliro kumeneku kumasonyeza kuti kupuma kungakhale pafupi ngati kuyankhulana kwazimiririka. 

2. Usiku wopanda pake

Chizindikiro china chodziwikiratu ndi pamene maulendo opita ku chibwenzi atayika ndipo akukhala maulendo opanda phokoso pagalimoto. Maulendo omwe kale ankayembekezeredwa amakhala ulendo wamba wopanda zokambirana zambiri, zomwe zimasonyeza mtunda wamaganizo. Kusowa kwa chibwenzi panthawi zomwe kale zinali zosangalatsa kungasonyeze kuti kulumikizana kwamaganizo kukuchepa, zomwe zikusonyeza kuti kutenga nthawi yosiyana muubwenzi kungathandize kubwezeretsanso mphamvu zomwe zinatayika.

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3. Kukwiya kosalekeza

Zochita zilizonse za mnzanu zikakuwoneka kuti zikukwiyitsani, zitha kukhala chizindikiro chakuti chibwenzicho chili pamavuto. Zizolowezi zazing'ono, monga kutafuna kapena kamvekedwe ka mawu, zimakhala zokhumudwitsa nthawi zonse. Kukwiya kosalekeza kumeneku kumasonyeza kuti kugwirizana kwamaganizo kwachepa m’kupita kwa nthaŵi. Ngakhale manja ang'onoang'ono, omwe poyamba ankamveka kuti ndi osangalatsa, tsopano amakhumudwitsa. Kusintha kwa kaganizidwe kameneka kaŵirikaŵiri kumayambitsa kudzifufuza modzidzimutsa, chifukwa kukwiyitsidwa kungasonyeze kuti kaye kaye kaye kofunika kuthetsa nkhani zomwe sizinathe.

4. Kulota za moyo wosakwatiwa

Chizindikiro china chomwe chimasonyeza kuti kutha kwa ubale wanu kuyandikira ndi pamene mukudzipeza mukulota za moyo wopanda banja. M'malo mosangalala ndi nthawi ndi mnzanu, mumayamba kuganiza za moyo wopanda mapangano ndi mikangano. Maloto oterewa si zikhumbo chabe; amasonyeza chikhumbo chachikulu chodziyimira pawokha komanso kuganiziranso za maudindo omwe mumakhala nawo.

Momwe Mungayendetsere Ubale Wosweka Momangirira

Kuwongolera kutha kwa ubale kumafuna kumveka bwino, kulankhulana, ndi kudziganizira nokha. Choyamba, onse awiri ayenera kufotokozera momveka bwino zomwe akuyembekezera pa kuswa, kuonetsetsa kuti malamulo ndi malire akumveka bwino. Chotsatira, ndikofunikira kutenga malo moona popanda kuyang'anira digito nthawi zonse kapena misonkhano mwangozi. Panthawi imeneyi, yang'anani pa kukula kwaumwini ndikuwunikanso zomwe zikutanthauza kuti mupume muubwenzi. Landirani zokonda zanu, sungani malingaliro anu, ndikudzilola kuti mukhale ndi ufulu wosintha. Njira yoganizira imeneyi sikuti imangolepheretsa kusamvana komanso imatsegula njira yolumikizananso bwino. Kulankhulana moona mtima komanso kudzisamalira modzipereka ndizofunikira panthawiyi. Kumbukirani, kumvetsetsa momwe mungapumire paubwenzi ndikofunikira kuti muzitha kudzilingalira mogwira mtima.

1. Khazikitsani ziyembekezo zomveka

Kukhazikitsa ziyembekezo zomveka bwino ndi gawo loyamba lofunika kwambiri panthawi yopuma paubwenzi . Onse awiri ayenera kukambirana momasuka ndikuvomerezana za zomwe kuswekako kumatanthauza. Kuti mupewe kusamvana, fotokozani izi:

• Malire
• Malamulo olankhulana
• Ndipo nthawi

Mwachitsanzo, sankhani ngati kuyanjana ndi anthu pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti kapena kulembetsa nthawi zina kumaloledwa. Kumveka bwino kumeneku kumathandiza kupewa chisokonezo ndipo kumatsimikizira onse awiri za cholinga cha kuleka. Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu anati bwino, "Muyenera kukhazikitsa malamulo a kuleka kuleka kuleka chifukwa monga taonera bwino kuchokera mu filimu yokhudza Ross ndi Rachel, magulu awiriwa nthawi zambiri samagwirizana zomwe zingayambitse kupweteka mtima."

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2. Tengani danga

Kutenga malo ndikofunikira kuti mukhazikitsenso mphamvu zamaganizidwe ndikupeza malingaliro. Mukatenga nthawi, pewani kuyang'ana zochitika za mnzanuyo ndikukana kufunafuna zosintha nthawi zonse. Kutalikirana mwadala kumeneku kumapangitsa kuti onse awiri azitha kukonza zomwe akumvera paokha. Mwachitsanzo, wina angasankhe kusiya zochita zawo zatsiku ndi tsiku kwa kanthaŵi kochepa kuti awone malo atsopano kapena zosangalatsa. Mudzaona ubwino kutenga yopuma ubwenzi ngati kwenikweni kutalikirana izo.

3. Ganizirani za inu nokha

Kudziyang'ana nokha panthawi yopuma ndikofunika kwambiri kuti mukhale ndi moyo watsopano. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawiyi kuchita zinthu zomwe zimapindulitsa moyo wanu ndikukuthandizani kuti mugwirizanenso ndi umunthu wanu wamkati. Izi zingaphatikizepo:

• Tsatirani zokonda
• wakukhulupirira
• Kuphunzira zinthu zatsopano kuti mudzitsutse

Nthawi ino si yoti mudzisangalatse ndi kubwezera, koma ndi mwayi womvetsetsa zomwe mukufuna komanso zomwe mukufuna. Ganizirani za makhalidwe anu ndi momwe zimagwirizanirana ndi zolinga zanu za moyo. Kumbukirani, kodi kumatanthauza chiyani kupuma muubwenzi ngati simukuyika ndalama zanu pakukula kwanu? Monga momwe wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu adanenera, "Kupuma kumakhala kothandiza pokhapokha ngati anthu omwe akukhudzidwa agwiritsa ntchito nthawi yopuma kuti agwire ntchito pazovuta zilizonse zomwe zapangitsa kuti ukwati ukhale wovuta."

4. Khalani oona mtima mmene mukumvera

Mfundo yofunika kwambiri yoti mupume paubwenzi ndiyo kukhala woona mtima pamalingaliro anu. Kufotokozera zakukhosi kwanu kungathandize kupewa mkwiyo wobisika. Lingalirani zamkati mwanu ndikuzilankhula momasuka. Kumasukirana koteroko kumalimbikitsa chidaliro ndi kumveka bwino, kutsegulira njira ya kukula ndi kuthetsa kwachikhalire mu maubwenzi.

Ibibazo

Maganizo Final

Kupumula muubwenzi kutha kukhala mwayi wofunikira wodziwonetsera nokha komanso kukula molumikizana. Pomvetsetsa kuti kutha kwa ubale ndi chiyani, okwatirana amatha kusiyanitsa kupuma kwakanthawi ndi kutha kwachikhalire. Kulankhulana momveka bwino, kukhazikitsa malire, ndi kuyang'ana pa moyo waumwini ndizofunikira kwambiri panthawiyi. Ndikofunikira kuwunika ngati kupuma kumagwira ntchito mogwirizana ndi momwe zinthu ziliri, ndikusankha kuti ubale wanu uyenera kutengera nthawi yayitali bwanji malinga ndi zomwe mudagawana. 

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