22 Zizindikiro Za Kudzipereka-Phobe

Tonse tikuthamangitsa "mwachimwemwe mpaka kalekale." Masiku ano, mwatsoka, anthu ambiri safika pa siteji imeneyo. Pali magawo ambiri ndi magawo a "ubwenzi wabwino" kotero kuti gawo lalikulu la m'badwo wamakono lasintha kukhala odzipereka. Nthaŵi zina, mungakhale okonzekera kukhala pachibwenzi chenicheni, koma mnzanuyo angakhale wosakonzekera kulonjeza.

Choyipa kwambiri, kudzipeza kuti muli pachibwenzi kungayambitse miyezi ingapo yosokonekera, komwe mungavutike kulimbana pakati pa kukankha kosalekeza ndi kukoka kwamphamvu yonse. Ndiye mumadziwa bwanji kuti muli pachibwenzi ndi kudzipereka-phobe? Pali zizindikiro zotsimikizika za kudzipereka-phobe zomwe mutha kuziwona mosavuta.

Anthu omwe amawopa kulowa muubwenzi amasonyeza kudzipereka-makhalidwe aphobe. Kodi zizindikiro za mkazi wodzipereka-phobic kapena zizindikiro za kudzipereka-phobic mwamuna ndi chiyani? Mumadziwa bwanji kuti muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi vuto lodzipereka? Tidzafika ku zonsezi m'nkhaniyi, koma izi zisanachitike, tiloleni kuti tikuuzeni yemwe ali kudzipereka-phobe.

Ndani Wodzipereka-Phobe?

Kudzipereka-phobe ndi munthu amene amaopa kudzipereka kwa wina aliyense, makamaka zokonda zachikondi. Mwachidule, kudzipereka-phobe amawopa kuchita chilichonse chomwe chimakhudza anthu ena. Kusintha mkhalidwe waubwenzi kuchoka pa “osakwatiwa” kukhala “paubwenzi,” kuwadziwitsa makolo awo za chinthu china chachikulu kapena chachikulu pa mantha onse, kukwatiwa, kumawawopseza ndipo pamapeto pake amathetsa chibwenzi.

Palibe amene amadzitcha yekha kapena kusonyeza mantha awo odzipereka pachiyambi pomwe, kotero ndizovuta kwambiri kuweruza ngati pali kudzipereka-phobe pansi pa chithumwa chokongolacho. Komanso, kudzipereka-phobe kumabwereranso, zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhulupirira kuti mwina nthawi ino ndi "osiyana."

Mathew Jordan, katswiri wolankhulana, ndi chitsanzo chabwino kwambiri cha munthu wokonda kudzipereka . Wokongola, wosamala komanso wokoma mtima, Mathew ali ndi makhalidwe omwe mkazi aliyense angafune. Ndicho chifukwa chake wakhala ndi maubwenzi ambiri. Koma funso loti kudzipereka likabuka, amayamba kukwiya. "Ngati mtsikana andikakamiza kudzipereka, ndimayamba kuganizira za makhalidwe ake onse oipa ndipo ndimachoka. Sindingadzione ngati ndili pachibwenzi ngakhale nditamukonda bwanji mkaziyo."

Munthu ngati Mathew atha kuyika mawonekedwe okongola a bachelor wangwiro. Iwo angawoneke ngati munthu wangwiro kukhala naye paubwenzi. Tsoka ilo, mphindi yomwe mukuwonetsa chizindikiro chilichonse chokhala ndi chidwi ndi zina zambiri, mudzawawona akuchoka ngati mliri, ndikukusiyani kudzifunsa kuti, "Kodi amawopa kudzipereka kapena sakundikonda?"

Nchiyani Chimapangitsa Munthu Kukhala Wodzipereka-Phobe?

Monga momwe zimakhalira ndi zinthu zambiri zomwe zimakhudzidwa ndi momwe anthu amachitira, ndizovuta. Zifukwa zikhoza kukhala zambiri, koma makamaka zikhoza kuyambika ku ubwana wawo, popeza ndi pamene adakhazikitsa malingaliro awo ambiri okhudza chikondi ndi maubwenzi. Kotero, kodi kudzipereka-phobic maganizo a amuna kapena akazi amawoneka bwanji? Zina mwa zotsatirazi zitha kuchitika:

• Kusamvana kwamtima pakati pa makolo ndi abale pamene akukula
• Kukhala m’banja lalikulu kumene kunalibe chisamaliro cha munthu aliyense payekha kwa mwanayo
• Nthaŵi zina, mwinamwake mwanayo amadana ndi chisamaliro chowonjezereka kapena mkhalidwe woloŵerera wa makolo awo
• Kusowa ubwenzi wakuthupi pamene akukula
• Ubale wosakhazikika pakati pa makolo
• Kukulitsa kalembedwe kodzipatula komwe kumawapangitsa kukhala odzipereka-phobes

Monga mukuonera, momwe banja la munthu limakhalira komanso zomwe anakumana nazo ali mwana zimakhudza kwambiri maganizo a mwamuna woopa kudzipereka. Munthu woopa kudzipereka akamakondedwa, sasangalala, ndipo m'malo mwake, angadzitsimikizire kuti ali mumsampha. Nazi zizindikiro 22 zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuona ngati mnzanuyo akukumana ndi mavuto okhudzana ndi kudzipereka.

Zizindikiro 22 Kuti Mukuchita Chibwenzi ndi Kudzipereka-Phobe

Kuopa kudzipereka si chinthu chatsopano, ambiri a ife timakumana nawo. Kusatsimikiza za ubale ndi bwino, koma bwanji ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu amene sanakonzekere kuchita?

Mukufuna chitsimikizo kuti ubale wanu ukhalitsa, koma munthu winayo alibe zolinga zofanana. Ndiye mungadziwe bwanji ngati muli pachibwenzi ndi kudzipereka-phobe? Pali zizindikiro zina zomwe mungathe kuziwona mwamsanga.

1.Salonjeza zinthu

Sakukuuzani kuti adzatsagana nanu ku chochitikacho kapena ngati adzatha kukachita nawo filimuyo. Akhoza kubwera ngati angathe koma sakufuna “kukulonjezani” kenako “kukukhumudwitsani”. Anthu omwe ali ndi vuto lodzipereka nthawi zonse amatsutsana pakati pa zosankha ndipo sangathe kupanga malingaliro awo. Ngakhale kuti amaoneka ngati anthu osamala, iwo sali.

Iwo ali osokonezeka kwambiri okha, amapitiriza kukupatsani zizindikiro zosakanikirana ndipo samalonjeza chilichonse. Ngakhale mutawauza kuti akumane kuti amwe khofi, akhoza kuyankha kuti, "Kodi zili bwino ndikatsimikizira mawa?"

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2. Sachitapo kanthu

Ngati nthawi zonse ndi inu amene mumasankha zochita kumapeto kwa sabata yamawa, komwe mungapite komanso zomwe mukufuna kuchita, musanyalanyaze chizindikiro choyipa. Anthu oopa kudzipereka sachitapo kanthu. Saimba foni kapena kutumiza mameseji , amangoyankha mafoni anu kapena mauthenga anu ndikubwera kudzaona zomwe mwakonza. Mukuona momwe inuyo mukuchitira zinthu zonse zoyambirira?

Atha kukhala pachibwenzi ndi inu nokha koma osadzipereka kwa inu. Zingawonekere poyambira koma pang'onopang'ono, mudzakumana ndi zovuta.

3. Sangatchule nthawi ndi malo

Sadzakuuzani ngati angakuwoneni 7 kapena 8pm, ndipo simudzadziwa kuti mudikire zingati asanafike. "Ndimasulidwa pofika 7, koma ndiyenera kukumana ndi munthu pa 8, mwina ndibwera pakati."

Sadzafuna kukukondani kwambiri; m'malo mwake, adzakukondani kwambiri ngati alibe chochita china chilichonse. Munthu woopa kudzipereka amafuna kukhala bwenzi lanu ndikukuwonetsani kuti simuli munthu wofunika kwambiri kwa iye. Ngakhale munthu woopa kudzipereka akukukondani, amayesetsa kusonyeza kuti sakukondani kwambiri kotero sadzanena chilichonse molondola.

4. Ngakhale zili choncho, zimangochitika pamene zili zoyenera kwa iwo

Iwo angakuuzeni malo ndi nthawi yake pokhapokha ngati ziwayenerera. "Nditha kukumana nawe ndikaweruka kuntchito kumalo odyera aja pafupi ndi ofesi yanga."

"Bwanji tikumane 9 chifukwa ndimamaliza ntchito yanga 8:45 pm?" Anthu odzipereka amakhala ndi chizolowezi chochita zinthu mwanjira yawo chifukwa zimawapangitsa kumva kuti ndi otetezeka.

Zizindikiro za kudzipereka kwa mwamuna zingaphatikizepo kudzikonda komanso kusamvetsetsa malingaliro anu. Zili choncho chifukwa ngakhale atamvetsa, safuna kukusonyezani mmene akumvera.

5. Savomereza ubale wawo pagulu

Ngati mnzanu sagwirana manja pagulu chifukwa ndi "zotsika mtengo" kwambiri kapena sakufuna kuuza anzake za ubale wanu chifukwa "Si nkhawa yawo, mukudziwa", ndithudi akukumana ndi mantha odzipereka.

Safuna kuti wina aliyense adziwe za ubale wawo, chifukwa iwowo sadziwa zambiri ndipo safuna kupanga chithunzi ndi munthu wina. Chimodzi mwazinthu zazikulu zodzipatulira-zopanda mantha ndikuti sadzakuvomerezani pagulu. Adzayesetsa nthawi zonse kukhala ndi "abwenzi" okha.

6. Sayika wokondedwa wawo patsogolo

- "Hey, tingakumane?"
- "Eya zedi, ndiroleni ndingochapa zovala zanga, ndiphike chakudya chamadzulo, ndimalize ntchito yanga ndiye ndidzakuwonani."

Odzipereka-okonda samawona wokondedwa wawo kukhala chinthu chofunikira kwambiri. M'malo mwake, wokondedwa wawo nthawi zonse amabwera pambuyo pa chilichonse chomwe ali pamndandanda wawo wochita. Safuna kuyamba kuthamangira ntchito zawo pa foni ya mnzawoyo chifukwa ali ndi ‘zinthu zina’ zofunika kuchita. Ndipo musamayembekezere kuti akukonzekera masiku ndi maulendo, chifukwa amawopa kuti mungaganize kuti ali ndi chibwenzi.

7. Iwo amanyinyirika kuti apite nayo “pa mlingo wotsatira”

Chizindikiro china cha kudzipereka-phobe ndikuti nthawi zonse amafuna kutenga zinthu pang'onopang'ono. Kudzipereka-phobe sikuthamangira muzinthu, makamaka pachibwenzi. Amafuna kuganiza bwino asanatenge sitepe yayikulu ndikutengera zinthu zina zimawadabwitsa. Akhoza kuchita mantha akangotchulidwa chabe ndi kuimitsa nkhaniyo pambali.

Sakufuna kukhala pachibwenzi chapadera ngakhale kuti ali ndi chikondi pa inu. Akhoza kukupemphani nthawi ndipo zimenezo zingachitike kwamuyaya.

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8. Ali ndi abwenzi ochepa kapena alibe

Vuto lomwe munthu amene ali ndi nkhani zodzipereka amakhala nalo si maubwenzi okondana okha, komanso maubwenzi. Sangathe kukhala ndi mabwenzi okhalitsa, ozama chifukwa amaopa kukhala pachibwenzi.

Sakhulupirira mosavuta ndipo sakhutitsidwa, zomwe zimawapangitsa kuti asakhale ndi makampani ochuluka ozungulira nthawi zambiri. Akhoza "kudziwa" anthu ambiri, koma kukhala ndi abwenzi apamtima ochepa kapena opanda. Ziribe kanthu mtundu wa ubale, iwo sangakhoze basi kudzipereka kotero iwo amakonda kuyandama kuchokera pano kupita uko popanda kugwedezeka pansi.

9. Anakhalapo ndi maubwenzi afupipafupi kale

Anthuwa nthawi zonse amakhala osungulumwa ndipo amapitilizabe kuchoka paubwenzi wina kupita pa wina. Akhoza kuyamba kukondana mofulumira kwambiri . Amakopeka ndi anthu ena mosavuta, koma akangoyamba kuwadziwa, amataya chidwi, ndichifukwa chake anthu oopa kudzipereka ali ndi mndandanda wautali wa maubwenzi akale omwe sangawaike m'gulu la maubwenzi.

Koma kodi izi sizingalephereke, kuti kudzipereka-phobe kukhala ndi maubwenzi olephera? Ndipotu, kulephera kukhalabe pachibwenzi ndi chizindikiro cha kudzipereka kwa mkazi kapena mwamuna.

10. Adzatcha maubale awo onse “wamba”

Ngakhale kuti anali ndi maubwenzi ambiri akale, kwa iwo, kumeneko kunali kungokumana ndi anthu omwe amawakonda. Choncho, mtsikana amene wakhala akumuona kwa miyezi ingapo, anali wamba wamba. Anthu omwe ali ndi mantha odzipereka amakumana ndi vuto pankhani yovomereza ubale, ndipo motero, samavomereza.

Anthu omwe ali ndi vuto la kudzipereka nthawi zonse amafuna kuti azikhala wamba. Kugonana kwa iwo ndi kwachilendo, ndipo ngati awona wokondedwa wawo akuyamba kukondana kwambiri, akhoza kuthamangira. Odzipereka-phobes nthawi zambiri amasankha mabwenzi omwe ali ndi maubwenzi opindulitsa.

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11. Adzilungamitsa okha;

Sadzavomereza kuti akhoza kukhala olakwa, osati mu ubale wawo wakale kapena mu ubale wawo wamakono. Iwo ali ndi umunthu wa didactic omwe amagwiritsa ntchito kulungamitsa zochita zawo zonse. Ngati mnzanuyo akuganiza kuti akunena zoona nthawi zonse, muyenera kuganiziranso za chibwenzicho. Sangatenge kutsutsidwa kwamtundu uliwonse.

Ndipo ngati muwawuza pamaso pawo kuti ali ndi mantha odzipereka, mwachidziwikire, amakwiya kwambiri ndipo samavomerezana nanu. Kulimbana kwawo kosalekeza pakati pa kuthamangira kwa inu kumbali imodzi ndi kukangana ndi inu mbali inayo chifukwa iwo sanalakwitse kudzakusiyani inu mukunena kuti, “Kodi akuopa kudzipereka kapena kusakhala mwa ine?”

12. Amapitiriza kupereka zifukwa nthawi iliyonse imene sakufuna kuchita zinthu

Zowiringula ndi abwenzi awo apamtima. Iwo sakufuna kupita kuti filimu, iwo amapitiriza kukusonyezani ndemanga zoipa za izo. Safuna kuwona anzanu, amakhala otanganidwa kuntchito. Chilichonse chomwe sichikugwirizana ndi zomwe akufuna kapena chikuwoneka ngati chotopetsa kwa iwo, chimapereka chowiringula "choonadi".

Mkhalidwe uwu wa kudzipereka-phobe ndi wokhumudwitsa kwambiri. Amanyamula chikwama chodzaza ndi zifukwa zowiringula nthawi zonse ndipo samamenya chikope kuti asowe. Izi zikuwonetsa khalidwe losazama kwambiri la umunthu wawo.

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13. Iwo ngobisa;

Ngakhale mutakhala nawo kwa nthawi yayitali, simudziwa zambiri za m'mbuyomu kapena zolinga zawo zamtsogolo. Ngati mnzanuyo ali wobisika kwambiri pa moyo wawo, akhoza kukhala odzipereka-phobe.

Safuna kukudziwitsani mbali iliyonse ya moyo wawo yomwe ingakupangitseni kufuna kudzipereka kwa iwo. Nthawi zonse amayesa kukhala kutali ndi malingaliro ndipo ngati muyesa kupanga ubwenzi wamantha amabwerera nthawi yomweyo.

14. Ndithu, iwo ngokhulupirira kwambiri mitala kapena mitala

Anthu omwe ali ndi phobia yodzipereka sangathe kumamatira kwa munthu m'modzi kapena ubale umodzi. Akupitiriza kunena kuti kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi si chinthu chawo. Amapitirizabe kutsindika mfundo yakuti akhoza kukhala ndi okondedwa oposa mmodzi. Makhalidwe a kudzipereka-phobe amafuna kudumpha kuchoka kumodzi wamba kupita kwina popanda kumangidwa.

Ichi ndichifukwa chake ubale wotseguka kapena FWB umawagwirira ntchito, kapena amaganiza kuti zimatero. Maonekedwe a munthu wokonda kudzipereka amamuwona akuyesera kusunga zibwenzi zingapo nthawi imodzi, asanazindikire kuti sichinthu chomwe angafune kukhala nacho.

15. Sadzavomereza kuti kudzipereka n’koopsa kwa iwo

Ngakhale kuti ali ndi mavuto ndi kudzipereka, sangavomereze. Mwina chifukwa sakufuna kuti wina aliyense adziwe, kapena mwina chifukwa iwowo sanazindikire. Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti anthu omwe ali ndi vuto lodzipereka adakumana ndi zowawa zakale ali mwana kapena adakumana ndi maubwenzi okhumudwitsa ali wamkulu.

Komanso sangathe kulimbana ndi mavuto awo. Atha kukhala openga m'chikondi, koma nthawi zambiri amalephera kusunga phobia pambali ndikudzipereka. Chifukwa chake, pamene kudzipereka-phobe ali m'chikondi, iwo sangazindikire n'komwe chifukwa chomwe amawopa kulolera kukhala pachiwopsezo pakuchita izi.

16. Nthawi zonse amafuna kugonana

Anthu omwe amathawa kudzipereka nthawi zambiri amakhala osungulumwa kwambiri chifukwa sanalolepo aliyense kulowa m'malo awo achinsinsi. Amayesa kubwezera chikondi chamkati mwa kuchita nawo chibwenzi chakuthupi . Amaloledwa kugonana, koma sachitadi chibwenzi.

Sangathe kukulitsa chiyanjano chimene munthu amafunikira kuti apange chikondi. Chimodzi mwazodziwika kwambiri kudzipereka-makhalidwe a phobe ndikuti sadzakhalapo kuti akhazikitse ubale wapamtima ndi inu mukatha kugonana. Ngakhale atatero, sangatsegule kwenikweni.

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17. Satsindika kufunika kwa mnzawo pa moyo wawo

Angakopeke ndi inu ndipo angakonde kukhala nanu, koma kuopa kudzipereka sikungawalole kukuuzani kuti ndinu wofunika kwa iwo. Nthawi zonse mudzakhala munthu amene ali pachibwenzi, koma simudzapatsidwa chizindikiro cha “bwenzi” kapena “chibwenzi.” Chikhalidwe chodzipereka-phobe ndikuti amakusungani nthawi zonse ndikungoganizira za momwe ubale wanu uliri.

Munthu amene amaopa kudzipereka amamupangitsa kuti asiye mantha kwa kanthawi kochepa, kuyandikira kwa inu, kuchita mantha ndi nkhani yonseyo kenako n’kusiyaninso. Tikukuuzani kuti muganize zoti munene kuti muthetse chibwenzi chanu asanakupangitseni kukhala munthu woopa kudzipereka.

18. Satsimikiza chilichonse pa zinthu

Kusankha malo odyera ndizovuta. Wina akangowachitira izo, kusankha zomwe akufuna kudya ndiye chinthu choyipa kwambiri chomwe chingaganizidwe. Anthu omwe amaopa kudzipereka amakhala ndi mavuto ambiri popanga zisankho. Adzaganiza kambirimbiri asanatenge chosankha chimene sichingawakhudze kwenikweni.

Zizindikiro za munthu wodzipereka-phobe ndikuti sangathe kupanga chisankho chophweka. Kaya pa zosankha zawo za ntchito kapena zosankha zina zofunika pa moyo wawo, amakayikakayika. Chifukwa chake, mutha kulingalira za mkhalidwe wawo pankhani yopanga chisankho chopanga chibwenzi.

19. Amakonda kusinthasintha maganizo

Kudzipereka-phobes ndi anthu okhumudwa. Tsiku lina iwo adzakhala ali kumwamba kwachisanu ndi chiwiri, ndipo tsiku lotsatira, iwo adzakhala atagunda denga. Maganizo awo amasintha popanda chifukwa chilichonse. Ngakhale zing’onozing’ono zingawakhumudwitse, ndipo angapse mtima. Simudziwa zomwe zidzachitike ndi iwo.

Motero, anthu okonda kudzipereka amabwereranso kwa mnzanu wachikondi amene mwina anali atamusiya kale. Pambuyo pa nthawi yopanda kulankhulana ndi pamene amazindikira kuti akukusowani kwambiri kuposa momwe amaganizira, n’kubwerera kwa inu n’kuyambanso kuchita mantha chifukwa cha mwayi woti achite china chake choposa chimene akufuna.

20. Amathawa mavuto osati kukumana nawo

Chimodzi mwazinthu zodziwika bwino za munthu yemwe akukumana ndi mavuto odzipereka ndikuti sangathe ngakhale kudzipereka kuti akumane ndi mavuto. Apeza njira zothawira ndikuchita zonse zomwe angathe kuti asakumane nazo. Ngati akupeza chidwi chosayenera, ayesetsa dala kuti asamawoneke bwino kapena azimitsa maakaunti onse ochezera pa intaneti m'malo mopita kwa munthuyo ndikukakumana nawo.

Kudzipereka-phobe pambuyo pa kutha kutha kukhala kosawoneka. Sikuti akuyamwitsa mtima wosweka, koma m'malo mwake, akulimbana ndi vuto laling'ono lomwe angakhale nalo pamene azindikira kuti anali pafupi bwanji ndi mwayi wochita chinachake.

21. Nthawi zonse amakhala "otetezedwa m'maganizo"

Anthu awa ali ndi umunthu wakunja womwe umawona komanso umunthu wamkati womwe palibe wina aliyense kupatula iwowo akudziwa. Mutha kukhala pafupi nawo, koma simudzadziwa za magawo awo kapena zovuta zawo.

Angakonde kumenya nkhondo paokha m'malo mokhala pachiwopsezo pamaso pa wina. Monga chimodzi mwazochita zodziwika bwino zaphobe, kubisala kotereku kumachitika pofuna kuyesa kuti munthu wina asayandikire nawo kwambiri. Nthawi zambiri amakhulupirira kuti akalola munthu kulowa m'miyoyo yawo ndikumvetsetsa momwe amaganizira, zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kuti awathamangitse. Chifukwa chake, samatsegula.

22. Nthawi zonse amapeza zolakwika mwa mnzawo

Kudzipereka phobia sikulola munthu kukhala womasuka kapena kukhutitsidwa ndi bwenzi lake. Anthu otere, ngakhale atakhala okhutira, sangadziwitse mnzawo.

Adzapitirizabe kupeza zolakwika mwa inu zomwe "sangathe kuzilekerera" kuti asakhale ndi kudzipereka. Ichi ndi chikhalidwe choyipa cha kudzipereka-phobe koma ndi zoona.

N'zovuta kwambiri kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu amene amaopa kudzipereka. Nthawi zonse mungayesere kuwathandiza kuthana ndi mantha awo koma mwatsoka, anthuwa amakhala oopsa, nthawi zambiri osazindikira. Pamapeto pake, munthu aliyense amafuna ubale wokhala ndi ubale wapamtima komanso chitonthozo.

Ibibazo

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.