Kodi mumadziwa kuti momwe mumasankhira kudziwonetsera nokha mu maubwenzi anu kungakhale zotsatira zachindunji za zochitika za m'banja zomwe mudakumana nazo mukukula? Kumvetsetsa mitundu ya zochitika za m'banja zomwe wokondedwa wanu adakumana nazo mukukula kungakuthandizeni kufotokoza chifukwa chomwe adasankhira kupewa mikangano mukamakumana nawo chifukwa chosalankhulana.
Momwe mumakondera, momwe mumasonyezera chikondi chanu, momwe anthu amavomerezera ndi kuvomereza chikondi, zonse zimakhudzidwa ndi zochitika za m'banja. Pogwiritsa ntchito nthabwala kuti athetse vuto linalake kapena kuchita zinthu mwaukali, maganizo a onse awiriwa amatha kufotokozedwa ndi mmene banja likuyendera.
Kodi zochitika za m'banja zathanzi zimawoneka bwanji? Kodi zimakhudza bwanji ana, okondedwa anu komanso momwe banja lanu limakhudzirani? Tiyeni tipeze zonse zomwe tiyenera kudziwa, ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Juhi Pandey (MA, psychology), yemwe amagwira ntchito pazachitsanzo cha mabanja, upangiri asanakwatirane komanso othetsa banja.
Kodi Mphamvu Zabanja Ndi Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Zosintha za m'banja ndizovuta za momwe achibale ndi achibale amachitirana wina ndi mnzake komanso udindo wawo pakusintha. Mtundu wa maubwenzi omwe mumakhala nawo ndi banja lanu mukukula, mitundu ya maubwenzi omwe mumachitira umboni, ndi momwe mumakhalirana wina ndi mzake, zonsezi ndi mbali ya zochitika za m'banja.
Popanda kudziwa, zochitika za m'banja zimatha kukhudza kupanga zisankho m'mbali zonse za moyo wathu. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti timvetsetse ndikusanthula zathu zathu, kapena za anzathu, kuti tikhale ndi ubale wabwino ndi ife tokha komanso okwatirana.
Polankhula za kufunika kwa ubale wabwino wabanja, Juhi Pandey "Makhalidwe abwino a m'banja amakhudza ana m'njira yabwino. Ngati akukulira m'banja logwira ntchito ndi lathanzi, mwanayo amadziona kuti ndi wofunika kwambiri, amakhala womasuka, womvetsetsana, ndi wachifundo." ubale wabwino wabanja zidzakhudza umunthu wa mwanayo m’njira yabwino.”
Ngati inu kapena wokondedwa wanu mumathera nthawi yochuluka kuyesa kukondweretsa ena owazungulira, kuika zofuna za ena kuposa zawo, zochitika za m'banja zingathe kufotokoza chifukwa chake. Ngati sanalandire chitonthozo chochuluka ndi kutsimikiziridwa pamene akukula, uchikulire wawo umakhala wofuna kukondweretsa ena kuti amve ngati ovomerezeka, chifukwa ndi zomwe akhala akuchita kuyambira ali ana.
Mitundu ya zochitika za m'mabanja ndi maganizo a banja angathandize kufotokoza zambiri za inu ndi / kapena mnzanu. Koma kodi nchiyani chimene chimakhudza zochitika za m’banja poyamba? Kodi mabanja ena amasiyana bwanji ndi ena?
Kodi Mphamvu Zabanja Zimakhudza Chiyani?
Zifukwa zomwe machitidwe a m'banja amasiyana ndi ubale ndi ubale ndizosiyana pazochitika zilizonse, koma pali zofanana zomwe zingathe kufotokoza chifukwa chake machitidwe ena a m'banja ali momwe alili.
Mwachitsanzo, chinthu chachikulu choyendetsa galimoto chomwe chimakhudza machitidwe a m'banja ndi chikhalidwe cha ubale wa kholo. Ngati makolo nthawi zonse amakhala nyundo ndi mbano pa wina ndi mzake, n'zosavuta kuona mmene zochita za m'banja zidzavutikira. Ana a makolo osudzulidwa yambitsaninso zovuta zambiri zaubwenzi.
Makhalidwe a ziŵalo zabanja, kholo limene silinakhalepo, mwana wodwala mwakayakaya, mikhalidwe yabanja yobadwa nayo ndi miyambo zonse zimakhudza mmene mabanja amayendera mosiyanasiyana m’mbali zonse za dziko. Chifukwa cha zimenezi, aliyense m’banjamo amakulitsa umunthu wosiyana malinga ndi zimene wakhala akuona powazungulira.
Monga momwe W. Clement ananenera motchuka kuti, “Ndinu chotulukapo cha chilengedwe chanu.” Zambiri kafukufuku anena kuti kusintha kwa m’banja kumakhudza osati kokha maunansi aumunthu amene munthu amakhala nawo m’tsogolo komanso thanzi lake lakuthupi ndi lamaganizo.
Zomwe Zimakhudza Mphamvu za Banja
Monga mukudziwira pakali pano, zochitika za m'mabanja zimakhudzana ndi momwe anthu am'banja amagwirizanirana wina ndi mzake, momwe amachitirana wina ndi mzake, maudindo a m'banja omwe apatsidwa komanso zikhulupiriro ndi zikhulupiliro zomwe ali nazo. Mphamvu zotere ndi zotsatira za mibadwo ingapo ya umunthu, zochitika ndi zikhulupiriro, ndipo nthawi zambiri zimatha kupanga momwe munthu amaonera dziko lapansi. Tiyeni tione bwinobwino zinthu zimene zimachititsa kuti banja liziyenda bwino.
1. Kapangidwe ka banja
Mphamvu za banja zimadalira kwambiri dongosolo lomwe banja liri nalo. Banja la kholo limodzi kaŵirikaŵiri lidzakhala lachisonkhezero chosiyana ndi banja limene agogo akulera zidzukulu. Komanso, dongosolo la banja likhoza kusintha mosalekeza, popeza kuti banja limodzi likhoza kuchoka ku zida zanyukiliya n’kupita ku gulu limodzi, kapena kuchoka kwa kholo limodzi n’kuyamba kuyambitsa makolo opeza ndi abale awo opeza.
2. Makhalidwe a anthu a m’banjamo
Munayamba mwadabwa chifukwa chake anthu ena mwachibadwa amakhala oseketsa? Afunseni ngati anakulira m’nyumba yokhala ndi kholo loseketsa, mwina angayankhe kuti inde. Kodi munayamba mwadzifunsapo kuti n’chifukwa chiyani anthu ena amalephera kudzudzulidwa? Iwo ayenera kuti anakulira ndi wowasamalira wokhwima, yemwe sanapereke ndemanga zolimbikitsa kwambiri. Izo zikhoza kukhala chimodzi mwa izo zifukwa zomwe iwo sali otetezeka mu maubale awo.
Makhalidwe a anthu a m’banja mwina ndiwo chinthu chofunika kwambiri chimene chimasonkhezera zochitika za m’banja. M'mabanja akuluakulu, kusakanikirana kwa umunthu wambiri kungapangitsenso zovuta.
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3. Maudindo ndi maudindo
Maudindo m'banja nthawi zambiri amaperekedwa kwa mamembala popanda kukambirana zambiri za izi. Ngati ndinu wokhwima mwachibadwa, mutenga udindo wa mtsogoleri ndi mkhalapakati. Maudindo ochepa omwe amaseweredwa ndi mamembala abanja ndi okhazikitsa mtendere, woyambitsa, wotsutsa, wokonza, ndi zina zotero.
Kubadwanso kumakhudzanso kwambiri maudindo omwe mumatenga. Mwana woyamba kubadwa ndi mtsogoleri wachilengedwe, ndipo mwana wapakati nthawi zambiri amakhala wonyada. Maudindowa amatha kukhudza kwambiri kudzidalira ndi ulemu wa mamembala osiyanasiyana a m'banja, komanso ubale womwe amagawana wina ndi mnzake.
4. Zolinga zabanja ndi makhalidwe abwino
Mfundo za m'banja sizimangokhazikitsidwa m'zaka zingapo, koma nthawi zambiri zimatengera mibadwo yakale. Komanso, aliyense m’banjamo angayambe kukulitsa makhalidwe akeake. Nthawi zina atha kulumikizana ndi zikhalidwe zabanja, koma nthawi zina, zosokoneza kwambiri, membala m'modzi amatha kupita njira yosiyana kotheratu.
Mofananamo, aliyense m’banjamo angakhale ndi zolinga zosiyana kwa iyemwini ndi/kapena banja. Mwachitsanzo, ngati wina angofuna kuti banja lonse lizikhala moyandikana kapena wina ndi mnzake ndipo ena sakugwirizana nazo, zikhoza kuyambitsa mikangano ndi mkwiyo pambuyo pake.
5. Mbiri ndi zochitika
Zovulala, zakuthupi kapena kuzunza, imfa ya wokondedwa kapena kujomba kusukulu kungawononge kwambiri mmene banja limayendera. Zotsatira zokhalitsa zimatha kumveka pakapita nthawi zoopsazo zitachitika, ndipo zingakhudze kwambiri momwe banja limagwirira ntchito. Mwachitsanzo, imfa yadzidzidzi ya munthu wofunika kwambiri ingakhudze kwambiri mamembala.
Mofananamo, mbiri ya ubale pakati pa achibale ikhoza kukhala ndi chikoka chachikulu. Ngati pakhala pali nthawi za kusakhutira pakati pa mamembala, kusinthaku kudzakhala kosiyana kwambiri ndi mabanja omwe nthawi zonse amakhala ndi maubwenzi ogwirizana.
Ndiye ngati muwona mnzanuyo akuchita mopanda chidwi kuti akuchitiridwa nkhanza kwinaku mukuwawidwa ndi mkwiyo nthawi iliyonse yomwe simukulemekezedwa, ndizotheka kuti zochitika za m'banja zomwe mudaziwona mukukula zitha kukhudza momwe mumayankhira pazovuta. Tiyeni tikambirane mwatsatanetsatane momwe nyumba yomwe mudakuliramo imatanthauzira nyumba yomwe mudzakuliramo.
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Kodi Mitundu ya Mphamvu Zabanja Ndi Chiyani?
Tsopano popeza tamvetsetsa tanthauzo la zochitika za m'banja ndi momwe maubwenzi a m'banja angakhudzire maubwenzi athu amtsogolo, ndi mitundu yanji ya machitidwe a m'banja? Ndipo koposa zonse, kodi zimakhudza bwanji anthu?
1. Zogwira ntchito za banja
Mumadziŵa banja lokoma mtima, lachimwemwe, lathanzi, likugaŵana chakudya patebulo la chakudya chamadzulo, kukambitsirana za mmene tsiku lawo linayendera ndi nthabwala zambiri ndi kuseka. Kugwira ntchito bwino kwa banja ndi komwe makolo amatenga udindo wawo wa osamalira, osamalira ndi olera, pakati pa ena.
Banja logwira ntchito limawonetsa kulemekezana pakati pa kholo ndi ana. Pali zambiri malire abwino m'malo, malire athanzi, ndi malo omwe amalimbikitsa kukula kwamalingaliro ndi kulimbana mwaulemu ndi mikangano.
Studies amanena kuti mphamvu ya banja labwino imakhala ndi zotsatira zabwino pamaganizo ndi thupi la moyo wa munthu. Mofananamo, n’zosadabwitsa kuti kafukufuku tiuzeni kuti ana okhala m'mabanja athanzi amatha kukhala ndi thanzi labwino, malingaliro ndi maphunziro.
Kuti muwonetsetse kuti banja lanu limapanga ndikukhala bwino m'banja lathanzi, Juhi akugawana malangizo. "Mwana aliyense amayembekezera chikondi, chisamaliro, chisamaliro ndi chisamaliro. Mutha kuwapatsa kokha pamene muli mu gawo la moyo wanu lomwe limakulolani kupereka chisamaliro kwa anthu omwe akuzungulirani. Chinthu choyamba chimene muyenera kuchita ndicho kusintha nokha ndikuyesera kukulitsa malingaliro abwino."
2. Kusayenda bwino kwa banja
Banja lomwe silikuyenda bwino lingaphatikizepo kholo lozunza kapena chidakwa kapena osamvetsetsa za ulemu, malire, ndi mgwirizano. Banja lomwe silikuyenda bwino limakhudza kwambiri aliyense amene ali ndi mphamvu, makamaka ana, chifukwa zotsatira za kusayenda bwino kwa banja zimakhala nawo mpaka akulu.
Polankhula za mmene zinthu zosayenera za m’banja zingakhudzire mwana, Juhi anati: “Mukakamba za umunthu wonse, umunthu ndi kusakanizika kwa chilengedwe ndi kulera.
Banja lomwe silikuyenda bwino nthawi zambiri limakhala ndi a kusowa kuyankhulana, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti pakhale mavuto aakulu omwe samawona kuwala kwa tsiku, potsirizira pake akuponderezedwa. Studies amanena kuti makolo amene ali m’banja losokonekera amathandiza kuti ana awo azivutika maganizo, zomwe zimapitirizabe kusokoneza maubwenzi amene amakhala nawo akadzakula.
Mphamvu Za Banja Zapoizoni
Munthu m’modzi m’banja ali ndi kuthekera kosandutsa ubale wabanja lonse kukhala wapoizoni. Zizindikiro za banja lomwe silikuyenda bwino ndi monga kusowa kothana ndi kusamvana bwino komanso wachibale wozunza/woledzeretsa yemwe amasokoneza thanzi la ena, kunyalanyaza, kusakhala ndi malire kapena kukhala achinsinsi, mantha, komanso chikondi chokhazikika kapena opanda chikondi.
Banja lapoizoni lingawononge kwambiri chidaliro ndi kudzidalira kwa ana. Zizindikiro zochepa za banja lapoizoni ndi monga makolo omwe amalamulira mopambanitsa. Atha kulanda mphamvu zopangira zisankho kuchokera kwa ana, kuwasiya akumva kuti sangathe kudzilamulira okha.
Ziŵalo za banjalo zimene zimasonyeza mkhalidwe wapoizoni kaŵirikaŵiri zimakupeza kukhala kovuta kuvomereza thayo lirilonse, chotero ziŵalo zina za banjalo nthaŵi zonse zimaimbidwa mlandu mosasamala kanthu za chimene chimachitika.
Ziwopsezo, kuwongolera, kuyatsa gasi ndi nkhanza nthawi zambiri zimawonekera m'banja lapoizoni. Zotsatira zowononga nthawi zambiri zimatha kusokoneza thanzi lamalingaliro la anthu omwe ali mmenemo, komanso maubwenzi awo amtsogolo.
Ngakhale tidalembapo mitundu ya zochitika m'mabanja, zinthu nthawi zambiri sizikhala zakuda ndi zoyera. Monga momwe dziko silingagawidwe kukhala chabwino ndi choipa, palinso mbali zina za equation. Ma equation amasintha malinga ndi chilengedwe komanso zosinthika zomwe zimayambitsidwa. Chomwe chimakhala chokhazikika, komabe, ndikuti machitidwe am'banja amakhudza momwe timakondera mu ubale wathu. Tiyeni tione mmene.
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Kodi Mphamvu za Mabanja Zimakhudza Bwanji Mmene Timakondera?
M’zaka za m’ma 1960 ndi m’ma 70, akatswiri a zamaganizo John Bowlby ndi Mary Ainsworth anapita patsogolo pa nkhani yophunzira za ubale wapakati pa anthu, makamaka mmene mphamvu za makolo ndi mwana zimakhudzira ana. Chiphunzitsochi, chodziwika bwino chotchedwa "attachment theory", imatiuza kuti ana ayenera kukhala ndi ubale ndi wosamalira m'modzi, kuti athe kukulitsa malingaliro ndi kukula.
Chiphunzitso chomwechi komanso kuchuluka kwa maphunziro omwe adatsatirapo, akunena momveka bwino kuti kulumikizana koyambirira kumatha kukhudza kwambiri maubwenzi amtsogolo omwe tili nawo. Kusiyana kwakukulu kwa momwe anthu amachitira ndi zinthu zakunja mkati mwa ubale kungabwere chifukwa cha mphamvu zomwe adaziwona ali ana.
Kodi kusayenda bwino kwa mabanja kumakhudza bwanji momwe timakonda?
Chiphunzitso chophatikizana chimatiuza kuti ana omwe adapezeka ndi PTSD chifukwa cha Zokumana nazo Zaubwana Amakonda kukhala ndi vuto lotsegulira anzawo am'tsogolo ndipo amakhala ndi mavuto akulu okondana.
Zitsanzo za kusokonekera kwa zochitika za m'banja ndi monga pamene mwana wakulira m'banja lapoizoni, amatha kudzidalira pa ubwenzi ndikukulitsa nkhawa komanso kudalirana. Popeza ana a m'mabanja omwe amachitira nkhanza amakonda kuthawa nkhani zawo, monga bwenzi lachikulire, munthuyu akhoza kupondereza malingaliro awo ndikuyesera kuwathawa potembenukira ku mankhwala / mowa.
Makolo akamadzudzula mopambanitsa ndipo alibe kusonyeza chikondi, mwana wa m’banja limenelo amadzakhala ndi chikhumbo chofuna kusangalatsa aliyense amene adzakhale naye. Motero, amangokhalira kumwetulira pankhope za mnzawo, zomwenso ndi njira yawo yodziona kuti ndi wofunika.
Kodi machitidwe a banja amakhudza bwanji momwe timakonda?
Kumbali ina, maubwenzi abwino a m’banja amakhomereza mfundo za chikondi, kukhulupirirana, kulankhulana ndi kukoma mtima mwa munthu. Zambiri kafukufuku amanena kuti ana omwe akhala ndi ubale wabwino wabanja ali ndi mwayi waukulu wokhala makolo abwino komanso okwatirana abwino.
Anthu omwe amakulira m'banja lathanzi sakhala ndi nkhawa komanso amakhala ndi nkhawa nkhani za trust mu ubale wawo wamtsogolo. Amatha kukhala otsimikiza komanso achikondi, zomwe zimatsogolera ku ubale wabwino.
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Kodi chithandizo cham'banja chimathandiza bwanji?
Juhi amatiuza kuti chithandizo cha banja chingathandize kuwongolera mkhalidwe wamaganizo wa ana pamene kuchiza vuto lirilonse lochokera ku miyambi yawo. “Monga mlangizi, mwana akabwera ndi vuto, nthawi zambiri timaona kuti vuto silili kwa mwanayo, koma kumangosonyeza chisokonezo chimene ali nacho m’banja lake.
Zinthu zikayamba kuchitika m'machitidwe osayenera a m'banja, nthawi zonse zimasonyeza bwino mwanayo. Mwanayo, limodzinso ndi makolo, amakhala odzidalira kwambiri ndi kusonyeza chimwemwe. Mavuto akathetsedwa kuchokera kugwero lomwe, lomwe nthawi zambiri, limakhala vuto labanja losayenda bwino, limakhudza aliyense wokhudzidwa. ”
Kufunika kokhala ndi moyo wathanzi m'banja sikungathe kufotokozedwa mopambanitsa. Maphunziro osawerengeka ndi zochitika zonse zimatiuza momwe kusintha kwa banja kungakhudzire momwe anthu amayendera maubwenzi amtsogolo. Ngati mukulimbana ndi vuto la banja losagwira ntchito, Bonobology ili ndi akatswiri odziwa zambirikuphatikizapo Juhi Pandey mwiniwake, yemwe angakonde kukuthandizani panthawi yovutayi.
Ibibazo
Zochitika za m'banja zopanda thanzi zimaphatikizapo kusakhalapo kwa malire, kukhulupirirana, chinsinsi komanso ubwenzi wapamtima m'banja. Mkhalidwe wapabanja wopanda thanzi ungakhalenso ndi makolo ankhanza, amene amadzudzula ndi/kapena kusalemekeza achibale ena. Angaphatikizeponso anthu omwerekera, omwe zizolowezi zawo zosayenera zimavulaza ena owazungulira.
Zigawo za zochitika za m'banja ndizo mapangidwe a banja, kukhalapo kwa ubwenzi wapamtima, chikondi, kukhulupirirana, ulemu, chisamaliro ndi malire. Kaleredwe ka makolo, ukulu wa maudindo ochitidwa m’mabanja ndi munthu aliyense payekha, zonse zimagwira ntchito m’magawo amphamvu a banja.
Zizindikilo za banja lapoizoni ndi monga opanda ulemu achibale, achipongwe/oledzeretsa, kusowa kulankhulana, kusowa ubwenzi, kusokoneza maganizo a ena, ndi kuwononga ndi kuyankha zovuta pa zinthu zazing'ono.
6 Zomwe Maanja Akumana Nazo Zokhudza Momwe Chithandizo Cholankhulirana chinathandizira Maubwenzi Awo
Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
