Malangizo 8 Pa Zomwe Munganene Kuti Muthetse Ubale

Kuzindikira kuti muyenera kuthetsa zinthu sikophweka. Mwina munayeserapo kulimbana ndi chilakolako chimenechi, koma pamene simungapite tsiku limodzi osamenyana, mumadziwa kuti mapeto ali pafupi. Koma vuto lotsatira lingakusiyeni kunyalanyaza zosapeŵeka: vuto la zomwe munganene kuti muthetse chibwenzi. 

Popeza iyi si ntchito yakusukulu yasekondale, kuyimitsa kaye mpaka kukuvutitsani si chinthu chanzeru kwambiri kuchita. Ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa zomwe munganene kuti muthetse chibwenzi mwamtendere, komanso kuti kusokoneza “mnzanu” si njira yabwino kwambiri. Popeza simungathe kupeza njira “yosavuta” popanda kutchedwanso munthu woyipitsitsa padziko lapansi, muli ndi kuganiza zoti muchite. Werengani kuti mudziwe zomwe munganene, ndi zinthu zomwe muyenera kukumbukira pamene mukung'amba chothandizira ichi.

Ndinene Chiyani Kuti Ndithetse Ubale?

Nazi zomwe simuyenera kunena: "Tiyenera kulankhula" kapena "Si iwe, ndi ine". Popeza sitikukhalanso m'zaka za m'ma 1980, zingakuchitireni zabwino kuti mupewe zosokoneza. Zomwe munganene kuti muthane ndi chibwenzi zimatengera momwe zinthu ziliri ndipo zingawoneke zosiyana kwa aliyense. Ndikosavuta kuthetsa zinthu muzochitika zina kuposa zina.

Ngati mwanyengedwa kapena mwakumana ndi vuto linalake losasangalatsa, mwina muli bwino kunena kuti, “Tatha”, kenako n’kuchokapo. Komabe, nthawi zina, kupeza choti munene kuti musiye chibwenzi kungatenge nthawi yambiri. Chofunika kwambiri kukumbukira mukaganizira choti munene mukafuna kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi kukhala woona mtima, wachifundo, komanso womveka bwino.

Muzinena zoona zokhudza mmene mukumvera popanda kuchita mwano. Popanda kukhala wosamvetsetseka, ikani zomwe mukufuna ndi malire omwe mukufuna kukhazikitsa. Monga tidanenera, zomwe munganene kuti muthetse ubale wabwino zimadalira momwe mumawonekera. Komabe, nazi zitsanzo zingapo zomwe mungagwiritse ntchito nthawi zonse: 

1. Munganene chiyani ngati simukuwona tsogolo limodzi nawo?

Sibwino kuthetsa chibwenzi pamene simumadziona kuti muli nacho kwa nthawi yaitali. Zikatero, nazi zomwe munganene kuti muthetse chibwenzi bwino:

• Timasangalala limodzi koma sindikuwona tsogolo lathu. Pepani ngati izi zikupweteka koma sindikufuna kukupatsani ziyembekezo zabodza
• Ndiwe munthu wodabwitsa koma osati amene ndikuwonera tsogolo langa. Ndikuchokera koona mtima ndipo ndikuganiza kuti tilekerere apa

2. Kodi munganene chiyani ngati chibwenzicho chafika poipa?

Simungathe kuneneratu momwe munthu adzakhalire mukalowa muubwenzi. Ngati zinthu zayamba kuipa ndipo zomwe mukuwona ndi zizindikiro zowopsa , nazi zomwe munganene kuti muthetse ubalewo:

• Sitisangalalanso wina ndi mnzake. Ubwenzi wathu wakhala wovuta kwambiri. Timakangana kwambiri, ndipo sindingathe kulimbana nazo
• Sindingathe kupirira kuti wandipweteka kangati. Sindikudaliranso
• Ndife anthu awiri osiyana kwambiri, ndipo ndatopa ndikudziuza kuti titha kuzipanga

3. Kodi munganene chiyani mukakonda munthu wina?

Chikondi ndi chovuta. Kugwa kwa wina mukakhala pachibwenzi kumatha kuchitika ndipo ndi bwino kumudziwitsa mnzanuyo. Zikatero, nazi zitsanzo zingapo za zomwe munganene:

• Sindikumvanso kukukondani
• Ndimakulemekezani ndipo ndinu gawo lofunikira pa moyo wanga koma ndazindikira kuti mtima wanga uli kwina

4. Kodi munganene chiyani mukaona kuti chibwenzi chikuthamanga kwambiri?

Munkaganiza kuti ndi chibwenzi chosakhazikika koma munthu winayo akukonzekera kale ukwati m'mutu mwake? Kodi mwakhalapo, mwachita zimenezo! Chifukwa chake, kuti muthetse chibwenzi chosakhazikika, nazi zinthu zabwino zomwe munganene:

• Ndili ndi ziyembekezo zosiyana kwambiri kuchokera ku ubale. Sindinakonzekere kudzipereka komwe mukufuna
• Izi zikuyenda mwachangu kwambiri kwa ine. Ndikufuna china chake chosavuta panthawiyi m'moyo komanso momveka bwino, sindinakonzekere zomwe mukuyembekezera

5. Kodi munganene chiyani mukazindikira kuti mulibe nthawi yokhala ndi chibwenzi?

Kukhala pachibwenzi, mwanjira iliyonse, kumafuna chisamaliro ndi khama. Komabe, ngati zomwe mumayika patsogolo sizikusiyani ndi nthawi yoti mukhale ndi chidwi ndi zomwe zanenedwazo, izi ndi zomwe munganene kuti muthetse chibwenzicho:

• Zolinga zanga pa moyo ndi zosiyana kwambiri panopa. Ndili pamalo pomwe ndiyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri zakuti ndi zina ...
• Sindikuganiza kuti sindingathe kusamala ubalewu chifukwa ndiyenera kuwononga nthawi yanga kwina

Zachidziwikire, zomwe munganene kuti muthetse chibwenzi si zophweka monga kungonena chimodzi mwa ziganizo izi ndikungomaliza. Mukatchula chifukwa chomwe chili pamwambapa, chiganizo chofunikira kwambiri chimatsatira: "Chifukwa chake, ndikuganiza kuti tiyenera kupatukana ndikupita njira zathu. Ndikudziwa kuti tidzasamaliranabe. Zidzakhala zovuta, koma ndikuganiza kuti ndicho chomwe chili chabwino kwa ife. Sindikufunanso kukhala muubwenziwu."

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Ndiyenera Kuthetsa Chibwenzi Changa? Zizindikiro 12 Zomwe Muyenera Kusiya

Kaya mukuganizira zomwe munganene kuti muthetse ubale wamba kapena kuthetsa ubale wa FWB, kuwadziwitsa kuti mukuthetsa ndicho chofunikira kwambiri. Osasiya danga la kusamveka bwino, ndipo onetsetsani kuti mwanena china chake motsatira "Ndikufuna kusiya". 

Popeza zomwe munganene kuti muthetse chibwenzi ziyenera kukhala zogwirizana ndi ubale wanu, tiyeni tiwone malangizo angapo kuti zokambirana zisakhale ndi mbale zochepa zosweka ndi kuyimba foni kwa maola 6 komwe kumakusiyani kuti mukhale otopa kwambiri.

Malangizo 8 Pa Zomwe Munganene Kuti Muthetse Ubale

Popeza mukuyesera kupeza momwe mungauzire munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri nkhani yoipa (ndipo mwina mudakali nayo), muyenera kuganizira kwambiri za mayendedwe anu pang'ono. Kaya ndi zovuta kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira/kuthetsa chibwenzi cha FWB kapena kungosiya chibwenzi, sikophweka kungonena nkhani yanu. Malangizo otsatirawa a zomwe munganene kuti muthetse chibwenzi angathandize mosasamala kanthu za momwe zinthu zilili:

1. Musananene chilichonse, onetsetsani kuti mwachifuna 

Choyipa ndi chiyani kuposa kutha kwapabanja koyipa? Kuzindikira masiku awiri pambuyo pake kuti simunafune kuthetsa zinthu. Chinthu choyamba chomveka - m'malo mosokoneza ubongo wanu pazomwe munganene - ndikuzindikira ngati mukufunadi kunena kapena ayi. Kodi mukutsimikiza kuti ubale wanu sunakonzedwenso? Ndikoyeneradi kuthetsa chibwenzi chanu chifukwa adayankha foni ya 2 AM ataledzera? Tengani kamphindi kuti muganizire zomwe mukufuna. Zingadabwe kudziwa momwe zinthu zambiri zimasinthira. 

Zomwe zikukambidwa, komabe, onetsetsani kuti musayang'ane zoopsa zilizonse muubwenzi wanu. Ngati pali mbendera zofiira kwambiri kapena nthawi zachisoni ndi zowawa zimaposa osangalala, mungakhale olondola pofufuza njira zothetsera ubale wanu.

2. Lankhulani ndi munthu amene mumamukhulupirira kuti akupatseni malangizo

Mukaganizira zoti musiye chibwenzi ndi munthu wina, mayankho anu angasokonezeke chifukwa cha nkhanza zomwe munakumana nazo. Mwina mukufuna kuthetsa chibwenzicho mwachangu, ndipo mutha kunena zinthu zina zosasangalatsa panthawiyo. Izi zingakhale zoopsa, makamaka ngati mukusiya chibwenzi ndi munthu amene mumakhala naye.

Mukauza mnzanu za nkhaniyi, angakuthandizeni kuona zinthu mwanjira ina. Mnzako akhoza kukunyengererani kuti musiye ndondomeko yanu yofuula kuti "ndiwe woipitsitsa kwambiri" kwa mnzanu ndikuchokapo; atha kukuthandizani kuti mubwere ndi zina zabwinoko pang'ono, monga, "Sitikugwirizananso, tikulimbana kuposa momwe timakumbukira limodzi." 

PS: Ngati bwenzi lanu lapamtima ndi wopenga-wodziteteza, mwina yesani kulankhula ndi munthu wina. Simukufuna kuti “akuthandizeni” kuthyoka poponya njerwa pa zenera la mnzanuyo, ndikumangirirapo mawu awiri. 

3. Yendani mtunda umodzi mu nsapato zawo 

Inde, chifundo sichingakhale chinthu choyamba chomwe mumaganiza mukayesa kupeza njira yothetsa chibwenzi chanu popanda chifukwa chilichonse kapena kusiya chibwenzi chanu popanda chenjezo. Ngakhale zili choncho, kudziika nokha pamalo awo sikudzapweteka. Komanso, ngati panali mavuto olankhulana muubwenzi wanu , izi zitha kuwadabwitsa.

Dzifunseni kuti, kodi mungakonde kuti akuchitireni chiyani ngati wina atathetsa chibwenzi nanu? Tengani kanthawi kuti muganizire za izi, ndipo mwina musinthe mawu ochepa mukulankhula kwanu kosiyana, malingana ndi zomwe zingagwire ntchito. Inu mukudziwa, chitirani mnansi wanu ndi zinthu. 

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4. Sewerani zokambirana m'mutu mwanu 

Ayi, simuyenera kuyankha mafunso anu onse mukamayendayenda m'chipinda chanu monga momwe munachitira kale kuyankhulana kwa ntchito. M’malo mwake, yesani kulingalira za mmene kukambitsirana kudzatha, mmene angayankhire zinthu zina zimene mwanena, ndi mmene angawathandizire kuti achitepo kanthu.

Kodi kutchulidwa kwa wina kukhala mbali ya nkhaniyi kumawonjezera magazi awo? Sikoyenera kuti munene bodza, koma mwina mungawauze kuti, “Sindikumva kuti ndikukondedwa mokwanira kapena kuti ndikukondedwanso muubwenzi uwu,” m'malo monena mosapita m'mbali kuti, “Ndili pachikondi ndi wina. ”

5. The blame game ndi imodzi yomwe simungapambane 

“INU munachita izi, chifukwa chake ndikuchita izi” sizigwira ntchito kwenikweni. Maubwenzi oopsa nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi mawu amodzi omwe amalonjeza zambiri koma osapereka chilichonse: "Nditha kusintha." Kuti muonetsetse kuti sizifika pa siteji imeneyo, musasinthe kukhala mkhalidwe umene mukuimba mnzanuyo mlandu pa chinachake. M’malo monena kuti, “Wasintha, ndiwe wotopetsa”, mwina munganene mawu ngati “Ndikuganiza kuti umunthu wathu sumagwirizana bwino mmene uyenera kukhalira. Sindikusangalalanso.” 

M'malo monena kuti “Simundipatsa mpata uliwonse muubwenzi uwu ”, mwina tsatirani mfundo yakuti “Sindikumva kuti ndine womasuka mokwanira muubwenzi uwu; Ndikufuna mpata wokulira. Kuti ndifufuze ndikupeza zambiri, ndiyenera kusiya ubale woipawu”. Mukuona? Chomwe munganene kuti muthetse ubale ndi momwe mumanenera zinthu zimenezo. Sizovuta kwenikweni. Ingodzipatsani nthawi yoganizira za izi.

6. Limbani mtima, padzakhala zionetsero 

Makamaka ngati mukuthetsa chibwenzi chotalikirana kapena chovuta kwambiri, lingaliro lanu likhoza kudabwitsa mnzanuyo. Mungawamve akunena zinthu zonse zimene mukufuna kumva, angachonderere, mwina amachonderera, ndipo mwina mungaganize kwa kamphindi kuti, “Kodi pali chiyembekezo pano?” 

Koma popeza mfundo yoyamba pamndandanda wathu wa malangizo a zomwe munganene mukafuna kuthetsa chibwenzi inali yotsimikiza kuti mukufunadi, musalole kuti mawu awo akusokonezeni. Mukakangana za nkhani zanu zodalirika patangopita maola 36 kuchokera pamene mwakambirana, mudzanong'oneza bondo kuti simunathetse vutoli.

7. Sankhani nthawi, malo, ndi chifukwa chake mosamala 

Pokhapokha ngati mukuyesera kuthetsa chibwenzi chotalikirana, yesani kutero pamasom’pamaso. Kuthetsa lemba kumakhala ngati inu mukunena kuti, "Ndikufuna kuthetsa zinthu, koma ndikufunanso kukunyozerani ndikusakutsekereza." Ndipo popeza sindinu ana a mdierekezi, inu mukhoza kukhala wabwinoko pang'ono nazo. Ganizirani za komwe mukufuna kuchita, chifukwa chake mukuchitira izi komanso nthawi yabwino yochitira izi. Simukufuna kuti musiyane ndi munthuyu masiku angapo kuti akamuyezetse. 

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8. Ayi, sitingakhale mabwenzi

Kutanthauza, onetsetsani kuti mwakhazikitsa malire omveka bwino. Makamaka ngati mukufuna kuthetsa chibwenzi chanu popanda chifukwa chilichonse kapena kuthetsa zinthu popanda bwenzi lanu kunja kwa buluu, iwo angaganize kuti pamapeto pake mudzabwera. Auzeni kuti mukuyembekezera kuti azilemekeza malire anu. Ngakhale zili choncho, mumafunabe kunena zinthu zothetsa chibwenzi mwanzeru. Chifukwa chake, m'malo monena kuti, “Chonde osandilankhulanso”, mwina munganene kuti, “Sindikuganiza kuti ndi lingaliro labwino kukhalabe mabwenzi, zitha kusokoneza zinthu”.

Kusudzulana mwamtendere — ngakhale kumveka kwachilendo — kungakhale kusiyana pakati pa kusintha bwino kwa zinthu, kapena kuvutika ndi nkhawa ndi mkwiyo kwa miyezi ingapo. Kaya mukuyesera kupeza choti munene kuti muthetse chibwenzi chosakhalitsa kapena momwe mungathetsere chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira, kuthetsa chibwenzicho mwaulemu kudzakuthandizani kwambiri. Mudzaonetsetsa kuti simukumana ndi ndewu zobwerezabwereza, kapena kupewa kulankhulana molakwika ndi anthu oledzera nthawi ya 2 koloko m'mawa. Mukakakamizika, onetsetsani kuti ndinu woona mtima, wachifundo, komanso womveka bwino.

Nkhaniyi idasinthidwa mu Okutobala 2022

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