Udindo Mu Maubwenzi - Mitundu Yosiyanasiyana Ndi Momwe Mungalimbikitsire

Kodi mutu wa udindo mu maubwenzi ukusiyani muli ndi mafunso? Kodi kukhala wodalirika muubwenzi kumatanthauza chiyani? N’chifukwa chiyani udindo uli wofunika? Kodi maudindo a mwamuna paubwenzi amasiyana bwanji ndi akazi? Kodi mumasonyeza bwanji kuti muli ndi udindo? Ndipo mungatani kuti mukhale odalirika paubwenzi? Chabwino, tachita zowombera ndipo tapeza mayankho. Tiyeni tiyambe ndikumvetsetsa tanthauzo la udindo pa ubale.

M'lingaliro lalikulu, kukhala ndi udindo muubwenzi kumatanthauza kuyankha mawu anuanu, makhalidwe anu, ndi zochita zanu. Zikutanthauza kusiya chitetezo ndikuvomera udindo wanu pamavuto aubwenzi. Kumakhudza kutenga udindo wa momwe mukumvera komanso momwe mukumvera, m'malo motengera kutentha kwa wokondedwa wanu. Zimaphatikizapo kulinganiza maudindo ndi zofunika kwambiri ndikuwonetseratu wokondedwa wanu nthawi zonse. Kutenga udindo kumatanthauzanso kusapereka kapena kuvomereza chifukwa cholakwa kapena kulakwa. N’chifukwa chiyani zonsezi zili zofunika? Tiyeni tionenso zimenezo.

Kufunika Kokhala Ndi Udindo Pa Ubale

Kuyamba kwa chibwenzi nthawi zambiri kumakhala ngati kukwaniritsidwa kwa maloto. Koma pamapeto pake, zenizeni zimapanga khomo lalikulu. Ndipo ndi thumba lodzaza ndi humdrum tsiku ndi tsiku, zokhumudwitsa nthawi zina, komanso zisankho zokhazikika. Tsopano, thumba ili likhoza kukhala lolemera kwambiri, pokhapokha titaphunzira kulinganiza katundu ndi wokondedwa wathu ndikupanga zisankho zoganizira chifukwa cha chiyanjano. Apa ndipamene kutenga udindo kumabwera. Nanga chifukwa chiyani udindo uli wofunikira? Nazi zifukwa zina:

• Zimathandiza pangani chidaliro ndi kuona mtima 
• Zimakuthandizani kuti mubweretse umwini wanu wowona kwambiri paubwenzi 
• Zimapangitsa wokondedwa wanu kukhala wotetezeka komanso kukhala pachiwopsezo ndi inu
• Zimawathandiza kudziwa kuti akhoza kudalira inu

Ichi ndichifukwa chake sitinganene kufunikira kokhala odalirika muubwenzi mokwanira. Ndiye kodi tingasonyeze bwanji kuti tili ndi udindo kwa okondedwa athu? Kuti timvetse izi, tiyenera kuyang'ana mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya maudindo mu maubwenzi.

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Mitundu 7 Yosiyanasiyana Ya Udindo Mu Maubwenzi 

Ubale wabwino umafuna kuti onse awiri akhale ndi udindo ndi maudindo awo muubwenzi. Sizitanthauza kuti nthawi zonse 50-50, monga momwe Michele Obama akukumbutsira. Ndipo sizikutanthauza kuti munthu ayenera kulemba zomwe wachita ndi zomwe wachita zambiri, kapena kufunsa wina kuti achite zambiri. Chabwino, pokhapokha ngati mukufuna kumanga nyumba ku Resentmentville.

M'malo mwake, kutenga udindo ndikukhala 100% kukhalapo mu ubale ndikugwira ntchito ngati gulu. Zikutanthauza kupereka chithandizo chamalingaliro ndikuwonetsetsa kuti inu ndi mnzanuyo muli ndi gawo lofanana pazisankho. Ndipo kukhala ndi msana wa wokondedwa wanu panthawi zovuta. Kapena, pamene iwo akuponya mpira. Izi ndi zina mwaufulu ndi maudindo mu maubwenzi.

Kutenga udindo mu maubwenzi ndi njira yokhazikika ndipo maudindo ndi maudindo amabwera m'njira zosiyanasiyana, zina mwa izo:

1. Kutenga udindo pamalingaliro anu 

Udindo wamaganizo umatanthauza kumvetsetsa kuti ndinu amene mumayang'anira momwe mukumvera osati wina aliyense - kuphatikizapo mnzanu. Udindo wamaganizo muubwenzi umafuna kuchita zinthu mwanzeru komanso kulemekeza malire amalingaliro. Komabe, udindo wamaganizo sikutanthauza:

• Kutengera maganizo olakwika a mnzanuyo kapena kuwachitira zifukwa
• Kuganiza kuti muyenera kukwaniritsa aliyense wa maganizo awo
• Kuwona kuti ndi ntchito yanu kuwapangitsa kukhala osangalala mphindi iliyonse akadzuka omwe amakhala nanu ndikudalira kudzidalira kwanu pamenepo

Kutenga udindo pamalingaliro a wokondedwa wanu ndikuyika zochita zanu pa momwe mukuganiza kuti adzachita ndi zitsanzo za udindo waukulu mu maubwenzi. Amapewedwa bwino ngati mukufuna kuti muchepetse kupsinjika maganizo, kukhumudwa, kapena kudalirana.

Kotero, kodi udindo wamaganizo mu maubwenzi umawoneka bwanji? Ngati mnzanuyo anali ndi tsiku loipa kuntchito, mumamva. Mumayesetsa kumvetsa mmene akumvera. Ndipo mumawapatsa mpata kuti athane ndi malingaliro awo. Koma simuyesa kutengera maganizo awo kapena 'kukonza' maganizo awo.

2. Kuyankha pa zolankhula ndi zochita zanu

Kuyankha mlandu muubwenzi kumatanthauza kukhala ndi udindo pa gawo lanu ndikukhala wokonzeka kulandira udindo pa mawu ndi zochita zanu. Kuyankha mlandu paubwenzi kumatanthauza:

• Yesetsani kulankhulana moona mtima komanso momasuka ndikuyesera kuwona udindo wanu pazochitika, osapereka zifukwa zomwe zalakwika kapena kunamizira kuti zinthu sizikutheka.
• Osadzitchinjiriza nthawi zonse kapena kulowa mumasewera olakwa

Ndikhulupirireni, masewera olakwa kapena kuyankha kwa mbali imodzi muubwenzi sikungakufikitseni kulikonse. Komanso, dziwani kusiyana pakati pa kuyankha ndi mlandu mu maubwenzi. Kuyankha kumakhudza onse awiri omwe ali ndi zolakwa zawo ndikuzikwaniritsa. Kuimba mlandu kumakhudza m'modzi kapena onse awiri kuyika mnzakeyo mlandu pazolakwa zonse. 

Kotero, kodi zimawoneka bwanji kuyankha mlandu mu ubale? Wokondedwa wanu akabweretsa vuto laubwenzi, mumawonanso gawo lanu. Mumavomereza nkhawa zawo, ndipo ngati zili zowona, mumatenga udindo ponena kuti, "Ndamva zomwe mukuganiza" komanso "Ndikadakhala womvetsetsa / wodekha / wokwiya kwambiri / wosachitapo kanthu ...". 

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3. Kuchita udindo waumwini 

Kodi kutenga udindo paubwenzi kumatanthauza chiyani? Apa, kutenga udindo kumatanthauza kudziwerengera wekha zikhulupiriro zanu ndi maudindo anu. Ndiyeno, kuwasamalira. Kumaphatikizapo kukhala woona mtima pa zolinga zanu za kukhala pachibwenzi kapena kukhalabe mmenemo. Nthawi zina, zimafuna kulinganiza maufulu ndi udindo mu maubwenzi. Ndipo pamafunika kudziletsa, kudziletsa, ndi kukhala owona kwa inu mwini. Kupatula apo, ngati simukudziwa, mungayembekezere bwanji kugwirizana ndi munthu wina? 

Ndiye, kodi udindo waumwini mu maubwenzi umawoneka bwanji? Nenani kuti mumakonda masewera osangalatsa ndipo mnzanu amakonda masewera opanda phokoso. M’malo mosiya zimene inuyo kapena iwo amakonda, nonse mumapeza njira zochitira zinthu zimene mumakonda. Kapena, kukumana pakati.

4. Kuzindikira udindo wokhudzidwa 

Malinga ndi kafukufuku , khalidwe la chikondi muubwenzi likhoza kukhala labwino, monga nthabwala, chikondi, ndi kutsimikizira, kapena loipa, monga kudzipatula, kunyoza, kapena kutsutsa mwankhanza. Udindo wa chikondi umafuna kuti:

• Yesetsani kudzidziwitsa nokha ndi kuzindikira momwe mawu anu, malingaliro anu, ndi makhalidwe anu angakhudzire mnzanuyo 
• Onetsetsani kuti mawu ndi zochita zanu sizikuwononga kudzidalira kapena kudzidalira kwanu
• Yesetsani kuchitira chifundo, khalani okonzeka kuona zinthu mmene iwo amazionera, ndipo sankhani mawu anu mosamala 

Tiyerekeze kuti mwakhala mukunyoza mnzanu pang'ono ndipo mukudziwa zimenezo. Mnzanu akakhumudwa ndi ndemanga zanu n’kunena zimenezo, simufulumira kudziteteza. M’malo mwake, mumapepesa moona mtima ndi kukambirana nkhaniyo, osayesa kuchepetsa zomwe mwanena.

5. Kukhala wodalirika pazachuma 

Malinga ndi kafukufuku , nkhani zachuma ndi gwero lalikulu la mikangano pakati pa maanja. Ndicho chimene chimapangitsa udindo wa zachuma muubwenzi kukhala wofunika kwambiri. Kutenga udindo pano kumaphatikizapo kupanga zisankho zachuma pamodzi, kukhazikitsa zolinga za ndalama, ndikukhala oona mtima pa nkhani ya zachuma. Ndiye mungapange bwanji udindo wa zachuma muubwenzi? Nazi njira zina:

• Sankhani ngati nonse mukufuna kupanga akaunti yolumikizana kuti mugawane ndalama kapena kusunga ndalama zanu paokha
• Onetsetsani kuti mumapereka mofanana pamabizinesi onse ogwirizana, kapena molingana ndi zomwe mumapeza 
• Musabise ngongole ya kirediti kadi kapena kugula zinthu mosasamala

Kumbukirani kuti kubweza ngongole kwa mnzanu nthawi zonse kapena kudzimva kuti ali ndi udindo pazosankha zawo zachuma zomwe zimakhala zovuta kwambiri muubwenzi ndipo ndi chizindikiro chofiira. 

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6. Kulinganiza maudindo ogawana

Pambuyo pa ndalama, kugawa maudindo ndi nkhani ina yomwe maanja nthawi zambiri amakangana ndipo amagawana mitu. Malinga ndi kafukufuku , momwe mumagawira maudindo zimakhudza kwambiri kukhutira kwa ubale. Ndiye, kodi udindo wogawana m'maubwenzi umachokera kuti? Kodi ndi kungogawa ntchito zapakhomo mofanana ? Kapena, kusintha maudindo achikhalidwe pamene mukuchita? Kodi mumaganizira bwanji za katundu wosaoneka wamaganizo, monga kusunga ndondomeko ya zochita ndi nkhawa za mabilu?

Ndipo mumatani ngati pali kusalinganika? Kodi kugawa kofanana kwa ufulu ndi udindo mu maubwenzi kumagwira ntchito bwanji ngati m'modzi ali ndi ntchito yovuta yomwe imamutengera nthawi yake yonse ndipo winayo akuyenera kuthera nthawi yawo yonse yopuma kuyang'anira nyumba ndi kusamalira ana? 

Awa ndi ena mwa mafunso okhudza udindo wogawana nawo mu maubwenzi omwe muyenera kuthana nawo ndi okondedwa wanu. Kumbukirani, kusiya ntchito zonse zakuthupi ndi zamaganizo kwa mnzanuyo kungapangitse ubale wopanda thanzi. Ndipo wokwiya.

7. Udindo wogonana

Izi zikukhudza zinthu monga kuchita zogonana mosadziteteza komanso kukhala owona mtima pazaumoyo kapena mbiri yakale, makamaka zowululira za matenda aliwonse opatsirana pogonana. Pamafunika kumvetsetsa kuti kugonana si udindo muubwenzi. Ndi kuti kugonana kulikonse kuyenera kuzikidwa pa kuvomerezana. Nonse muyenera kukhala omasuka kunena kuti ayi ku chinthu chomwe simukumasuka nacho.

Njira 10 zokhalira odalirika paubwenzi

Kutengera ndi zomwe ndakumana nazo, ndikutsimikiza kuti kuopa udindo muubwenzi ndikumva kupsinjika ndi zofunikira muubwenzi si nkhani zoti zinyalanyazidwe. Ambiri aife timagwa mumsampha wa mantha ndikusiya mwayi wathu wopeza chikondi. Kapena, timatha kubwereza machitidwe oipa kapena zoopsa - mpaka titayamba kuopa kukhala pachibwenzi . Moti ngakhale lingaliro la kudzipereka kwa nthawi yayitali limatipangitsa kuti tisayankhe. Ndipo kupsinjika maganizo komwe kumabwera chifukwa chotenga udindo kumatipangitsa kufooka, kufuna kuthawa, kapena kukhalabe mumkhalidwe wosasunthika muubwenzi.

Nthawi zina, njira yokhayo yochotsera mantha ndiyo kuthetsa vutoli. Zovuta momwe zimamvekera, zitha kuchitika. Nazi njira 10 zokulitsa chizolowezi chotenga udindo pa maubwenzi:

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1. Yesetsani kulankhulana momasuka

Kulankhulana momasuka komanso momasuka kungathandize kwambiri kumanga ubale wabwino. Kodi mungadziwe bwanji zomwe zikuchitika m'maganizo mwa mnzanuyo? Ndipo angadziwe bwanji zomwe kapena pamene chinachake chikuyambitsani? Chifukwa chake musakhale chete pazinthu zomwe zimakuvutitsani chifukwa choopa kukangana. Pezani njira yolankhulira, osagwiritsa ntchito mwachinyengo, kuchita manyazi, kapena kuwaneneza. Kapena, mutha kukulitsa mkwiyo ndi kusamvetsetsana ndikuyambitsa masewera olakwa pambuyo pake.

2. Khalani wothetsa mavuto 

Kusemphana maganizo ndi kusiyana maganizo nkwachibadwa muubwenzi. Choncho, ngati pali vuto:

• Gwirizanani kuti musagwirizane nazo ngati mwafika pachimake 
• Koma pewani mobisa kuganiza kuti mnzanu ndiye vuto
• M’malo mwake, yesani kupeza njira yapakati, phunzirani kulolerana, ndi kupeza yankho lomwe nonse mungakhale nalo

Ngati mutsatira njira yothetsera mavuto, mudzatuluka m'mavuto muubwenzi wanu mwamphamvu.

3. Lemekezani malo aumwini 

Mabanja onse amafunikira mpata nthawi ndi nthawi kuti awonjezere ndikugwirizananso ndi iwo eni, zolinga zawo, ndi zokonda zawo. Kapena, pezani mtunda womwe akufunika kuti awunikire ndikupeza malingaliro pazinthu zomata. Malo aumwini amatanthauza: 

• Kuvomerezana wina ndi mnzake monga munthu payekha, m'malo mokhala zidutswa zazithunzi kapena magawo athunthu 
• Kukulitsa ulemu woyenera pa zosowa ndi nthawi ya munthu payekha, m'malo monyalanyaza zosowa za wina ndi mzake ndikumverera kuti ali ndi nthawi yokwanira ya wina ndi mzake.

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4. Khalani munthu wamkulu nthawi zina

Phunzirani kulola zinthu zazing'ono kupitirira ndikuyang'ana kwambiri pa zinthu zofunika. Nthawi zina, khalani omvetsa komanso omvetsetsa. Phunzirani kukhululukira ndi kuiwala . M'malo moyesa kutsimikizira kuti ndinu wolondola kapena kupambana mkangano, ikani dyera lanu pambali ndikuyesera kuona zinthu monga momwe mnzanuyo amaonera. Mwina mudzamvetsa zomwe simunamvetse kale.

5. Kusunga mapangano ndi maudindo onse awiri 

Mawu oti 'udindo' sangamveke ngati mtolo pamene nonse mwakonzeka kugawana nawo. Ndipo nonse gwirani mathero anu ndikutsatira zomwe mwalonjezana. Izi zimafuna kudziyimira pawokha mu maubwenzi, komanso, kuphunzira momwe angayankhire wina paubwenzi.

Kumbukirani: Kuyankha pa maubale sikutanthauza kuti mutengere mnzanuyo mlandu pa zonse zomwe mwaphonya kapena maudindo omwe simunawanyalanyaze pamene inuyo mukuchita zisankho.

6. Onetsani pamene wokondedwa wanu akukufunani

Mnzanga, Andrew, ndi m'modzi mwa anyamata oganiza bwino omwe ndimamudziwa, amene amaonekera kwa mnzawo nthawi zonse. Choncho, ndinamufunsa zomwe kukhala wodalirika muubwenzi ndi kutenga udindo kumatanthauza kwa iye. Iye anati, "Kwa ine, kukhala wodalirika muubwenzi kumatanthauza kukhala wodalirika komanso wodalirika. Ndipo kukhalapo pamene mnzako akukufuna. Mukatero, mnzako adzadziwa kuti munthuyu amandikonda kwambiri ndipo amalemekeza nthawi yanga ndi nkhawa zanga."

Kuwonetsa kungangotanthauza: 

• Kupereka chithandizo chamalingaliro 
• Kutenga ena mwa maudindo awo ngati akukumana ndi zovuta 
• Kupereka malangizo moona mtima ngati akufunikira 
• Kukhala pamenepo, mpaka atakonzeka kuyankhula

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7. Khalani wokonzeka kupepesa 

Izi sizikutanthauza kuti muvomereza kapena kuvomereza mlandu wanu pazinthu zomwe simunachite kapena zomwe simunachitepo. Koma ngati munachitapo kanthu poyambitsa vuto, ngakhale laling'ono bwanji, vomerezani ndipo pezani njira zopepesera moona mtima . Khalani okonzeka kuvomereza zotsatira zake. Uzani mnzanuyo momwe mukukonzera kubwezeretsa kapena onetsetsani kuti zomwezo sizichitikanso. Kenako tsatirani zomwezo.

8. Phunzirani kudzudzula moona mtima chifukwa cha zomwe zili

Ngakhale kuti palibe amene amakonda kuweruzidwa, kudzudzula sikuyenera kukhala koipa nthawi zonse. M'malo momuwombera mnzako kapena kupita kwa amayi, izi ndi zomwe mungachite:

• Osawatsekera kunja kapena kuthekera kuti akhoza kukhala olondola 
• Khalani omasuka, mvetserani mosamala, ndi kufunsa mafunso kuti mumvetse kumene akuchokera
• Kumbukirani kuti mnzanuyo ali ndi ndalama mwa inu ndi ubale wanu komanso movutikira monga momwe zimakhalira kumva, fufuzani ngati zomwe wanenazo ndizovomerezeka. Ngati sichoncho, nenani mwaulemu ndi modekha 

9. Khalani wonyada ndi womasuka za ubale wanu

Palibe amene amafuna kuti ubale wawo ukhale wachinsinsi pokhapokha ngati ndi chinthu chomwe onse awiri asankha. Chifukwa chake, onetsani mgwirizano wanu - onetsani dziko lonse momwe mulili okondwa komanso oyamikira kukhala ndi mnzanu m'moyo wanu. Ayenera kudziwa kuti mumaika patsogolo ubale wanu ndipo mudzateteza zomwe muli nazo. Awonetseni kuti ndi omwe mumawakonda kwambiri mwa:

• Kukonzekera nthawi imodzi ndi iwo
• Kufunafuna ndi kulemekeza malingaliro awo ndi malingaliro awo
• Kukhala kumbali yawo pamene zinthu zikufunika

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10. Funsani chithandizo ngati mukuona kuti mukuchifuna

Ngati mukuona kuti malangizo aukadaulo angakuthandizeni kuyankha nkhawa zanu ndikukuthandizani kuyendetsa bwino ufulu ndi maudindo muubwenzi, ndiye kuti muwafunefune. Muthanso kufunsa gulu la alangizi a Bonobology kuti akuthandizeni.

Kuopa udindo m'mabwenzi kungakhale kopundula. Koma chikondi chozikidwa pa zaka zambiri za maudindo ogawana nawo si chinthu choopa. M'malo mwake, ndi pamtima pa ubale wokhalitsa komanso wathanzi. Ichi ndichifukwa chake sitinganene kufunikira kokhala ndi udindo muubwenzi kapena kutsindika mokwanira.

Ibibazo

Kodi Ubale Wokhazikika Ndi Chiyani? Zizindikiro Ndi Momwe Mungakhazikitsire Malire

Kodi 'Kusunga Malo kwa Winawake' Kumatanthauza Chiyani Ndipo Mungachitire Bwanji?

Kodi Zokonda Zofanana Ndi Zofunika Motani Mu Maubwenzi?

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

Onani Ndondomeko Yathu Yolembera

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