Kodi Ukwati Wokhazikika Ndi Chiyani? Zizindikiro, Zoyambitsa, ndi Njira Zothetsera

Kutengeka ndi zosoŵa za mnzawo wa muukwati ndi kudzimva kukhala wokakamizika kuzikonza ndi zina mwa zizindikiro za ukwati wodalirana. Komabe, anthu amakonda kunyalanyaza zizindikiro za kudalirana ndi mawu monga: 

• "Ndine wodziyimira pawokha kwambiri kuti ndisakhale wodalira", kapena 
• "Kodi ndingakhale bwanji wodalira pamene ine ndi amene mnzanga amadalira kuti andithandize ndi kundithandiza?" 

Kaya zimachokera ku kukana kapena kusamvetsetsa, kudalirana kosathetsedwa sikuli kwabwino kapena kosatha. Zingayambitsenso mavuto aakulu paubwenzi kapena kusudzulana, kafukufuku zikusonyeza. Ndiye tingawone bwanji ndikukonza ubale wodalirana? 

M'nkhaniyi, psychotherapist Gopa Khan (Masters in Counseling Psychology, M.Ed), yemwe amagwira ntchito pa uphungu wa mabanja ndi mabanja, akuunikira funsoli: kodi kudalirana kumawoneka bwanji, kusiyana pakati pa chikondi chabwino ndi kudalira. Amaperekanso zitsanzo za kudalirana ndipo amapereka malangizo amomwe mungagonjetsere kudalirana m'banja.

Kodi Codependency Mu Ukwati N'chiyani?

Mawu akuti "codependent" poyamba ankagwiritsidwa ntchito kufotokoza maubwenzi a anthu okondana kapena kugawana moyo ndi zidakwa kapena zidakwa. M'malo mwake, machitidwe awa adadziwika koyamba ndi akazi a Oledzera Osadziwika (AA) mamembala, malinga ndi kafukufuku. Ngakhale kuti lingaliro limeneli lidakalipobe, akatswiri a zamaganizo tsopano amavomereza kuti kudalirana kungakhale pachimake pa maubwenzi ena osokonekera. Kotero, kodi kudalirana ndi chiyani muukwati? Kudalirana muukwati kungafotokozedwe ngati mkhalidwe womwe:

• Mmodzi amakhala wotanganidwa kwambiri kusamalira mnzake - mpaka kudzinyalanyaza kapena thupi komanso kutopa kwamalingaliro
• Amatsanulira chirichonse mu chiyanjano, kusokoneza zosowa zawo, malire, ndipo pamapeto pake, kudzikonda kwawo 
• Amafotokozera, kuchepetsa, kapena kupangitsa kuti mnzawo azichita zinthu zolakwika 
• Amadzimva kuti ali ndi udindo pamalingaliro ndi zochita za wokondedwa wawo ndikuyesera kuwapulumutsa, kukonza, kapena kuwawongolera kapena mavuto awo
• Amakhala okhudzidwa kwambiri ndi lingaliro lopanga ubalewo kugwira ntchito kotero kuti ali okonzeka kuchita chilichonse kuti apeze chidwi ndi chikondi chomwe akufuna.
• M'kupita kwa nthawi, kudalirana kwawo kwaubwenzi kumabweretsa mavuto, kuwapangitsa kukhala pachiwopsezo chodziwika bwino 

Kodi codependency imawoneka bwanji?

Kodi kudalirana kumawoneka bwanji m'banja? “Ngati mumaona kuti ukwati ndi chithunzi cha Venn, ndiye kuti zozungulira ziŵiri zimene zimagwirizana pakati zimaimira unansi wolinganizika.” Mtundu umene anthu aŵiri okondana amakhalabe odziŵika bwino, odzidalira, ndi ogwirizana,” akutero Gopa, akuwonjezera kuti, “m’ukwati wodalirana, mizera imachitika mowirikiza kufikira kumlingo wakuti amawonekera kukhala ogwirizana.”

Apa, chidziwitso cha omwe ali nawo komanso kudziona kuti ndi wofunika zimalumikizana. Popeza kuti ubalewu ndi wopereka zonse komanso kutenga zonse, palinso kusalinganika kodziwika bwino pazosowa. Mosiyana ndi maubwenzi abwino odalirana, zosoŵa za m’maganizo ndi zakuthupi za m’modzi zimalamulira kotheratu zochitika zaubwenzi. Izi zimachitika chifukwa pamene pali awiri odalirana mu ubale, mmodzi wa iwo amayamba:

• Kunyalanyaza malire abwino / kulephera kukhazikitsa malire ndikukhala otanganidwa kwambiri ndi SO yawo
• Kusokoneza zosowa zawo ndikusintha khalidwe lawo mochulukirachulukira kuti okondedwa awo akhale osangalala ndikusunga ubale wawo
• Kumva kutopa ndi kutsekeredwa muubwenzi pamene wokondedwa wawo akuyamba kumva kuti ali ndi ufulu wa nthawi ndi mphamvu zawo zonse; kudzidalira kwawo kumafika pansi; ndipo nkhawa, mkwiyo, mkwiyo, ndi nkhawa zimayamba

Nchiyani chimayambitsa kudalirana?

Kudalirana ndi khalidwe lophunziridwa lomwe mizu yake nthawi zambiri imatha kutsatiridwa ndi zosowa zakuthupi ndi zamaganizo zomwe sizinakwaniritsidwe muubwana komanso zomwe zinachitikira ubwana. Izi ndi zomwe zimapangitsa kuti kudalirana kuchitike mu ubale:

• Makhalidwe aulele: Kulera mopambanitsa komanso kulera mosadziteteza kungayambitse ana kukula zosatetezeka zomata ndi zizindikiro za kudalirana. Ana otetezedwa mopitirira muyeso amafuna kutsimikiziridwa nthawi zonse. Saphunziranso kupanga zisankho kapena kuwongolera malingaliro awo. Onse ndi mikhalidwe ya umunthu wodalira. Ana osatetezedwa amakonda kudzimva kukhala osatetezeka, osakondedwa, komanso osatetezeka chifukwa chosowa chitetezo cha makolo komanso chithandizo chamalingaliro. Izi zimawapangitsa kukhala ndi vuto lodzidalira monga kuopa kukhala yekha kapena kukanidwa, kusangalatsa anthu omwe amawazunza, kapena kusamasuka kukumana ndi ena. 
• Malo odalirana: Kukula pakati pa makolo omwe amagawana zinthu mokhazikika kungapangitse mwana kutengera makhalidwe oipa ali wamng'ono ndikuwawonetsa mu maubwenzi achikondi akuluakulu. Ochita kafukufuku adazindikiranso kusintha kwa ubongo m'mabanja a anthu omwe ali ndi vuto la kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndikulumikizana ndi zizolowezi zongodalira 
• Zovuta: Studies apeza kuti kupwetekedwa mtima paubwana, kaya chifukwa cha kunyalanyazidwa m’maganizo, kugwiriridwa, nkhanza m’maganizo kapena mwamawu, kapena kuchitiridwa nkhanza mwakuthupi, n’zimenenso zimayambitsa kudalirana. Apa kudalirana kumayamba ngati njira yodzitetezera, kuwongolera, kapena kusintha malingaliro oyipa - ngakhale sizimagwira ntchito 

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11 Zizindikiro Zosonyeza Kudalirana Muukwati

Anthu nthawi zambiri samazindikira kuti akulowa m'chizoloŵezi chodzidalira kapena amavutika kuzindikira makhalidwe a munthu wodalira. Ndicho chifukwa ndikosavuta kusokoneza zizindikiro za kudalirana ndi chikondi 'chenicheni' kapena 'chopanda malire' - poyamba. Zambiri mwa izi ndi chifukwa cha chikhalidwe chodziwika bwino, chomwe chakonda kwambiri lingaliro la chilakolako "chowononga" komanso "kutaya" m'chikondi. 

Zomangamanga zamagulu zimapangitsanso kukhala kovuta kudziwa momwe mungagonjetsere kudalirana. “Nkovuta kudziŵa kudalirana m’madera amene akazi ndi amayi ayenera ‘kusamalira’ mabanja awo ndi kupondereza umunthu wawo kaamba ka ‘ubwino’ wa banja,” Gopa akufotokoza motero, “chifukwa cha mkhalidwe wa kakhalidwe ka anthu, mkazi wodalira pawokha angaone kuti afunikira kukhalabe m’banja lake, ngakhale pamene akuchitiridwa nkhanza, popeza amalingalira kuti n’chimodzimodzi ndi umunthu wake.” Ndiye, kodi mumadziwa bwanji ngati mukulimbana ndi kudalirana muukwati? Kapena, ngati muli ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wodzidalira? Nazi zizindikiro 11 zodziwika bwino za codependency:

1. Palibe kusiyana pakati pa 'ife' ndi 'ine'

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodalirika za kudalirana m'banja: onse awiri amawonana ngati chinthu chimodzi ndipo amachita ngati amodzi. Pambuyo pake, moyo wawo umakhala wolumikizana kwambiri komanso wawo mgwirizano umakhala wovuta kwambiri kuti sadziwa kukhalapo kapena kugwira ntchito ngati munthu payekha. Mukufuna kudziwa kuti kudalirana ndi chiyani m'banja kapena ngati ubale wanu umakhala ndi zizolowezi zongodalira? Dzifunseni nokha: 

• Kodi mumacheza ndi anzanu/banja muli nokha nthawi zina kapena mnzanuyo amakhala nanu nthawi zonse? 
• Kodi zomwe mumakonda, zomwe mumakonda, zomwe mumakonda, zomwe mumakonda, zomwe mumakonda, komanso malingaliro adziko lapansi ndizogwirizana ndi za mnzanuyo?
• Kodi zimakuvutani kupanga zosankha popanda iwo?
• Kodi mumadzimva kuti mwatayika kapena mukuda nkhawa ngati muli kutali? Kodi mumazifufuza nthawi zonse?

Ngati simukudziwa bwino lomwe kuti ndinu ndani kunja kwa banja lanu, ganizirani ngati mbendera yofiira.

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2. Maudindo opotoka ndi ena mwa zizindikiro za kudalirana

"Ndingadziwe bwanji ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga ali ndi mikhalidwe ya munthu wodzidalira?" "Kodi ndife awiri odalirana mu ubale?" Ngati ndi zomwe mukufunsa, onani momwe nonse mumagawana maudindo. M’banja lokhala ndi zikhoterero zodalirana, mtolo wa mathayo umakhala pa mwamuna mmodzi, amene pomalizira pake:

• Kusamalira mbali iliyonse ya moyo wanu wogawana nawo
• Kupanga mapulani onse 
• Kutola ulesi wonse, ndi
• Kuthetsa zonse mavuto mu chiyanjano komanso moyo wanu panokha  

Mungadziuze kuti mwina inuyo kapena “akuchita zonse” chifukwa cha chikondi. Komabe, zonsezi ndikuchita ndikupangitsa machitidwe ndi machitidwe omwe sapanga ubale wabwino kapena banja labwino.

3. Kulakwa ndi kulakwa ndi njira imodzi

Kudziimba mlandu kwa Codependency sikumveka. Ndi njira imodzi. Munthu wodalira pawokha amakhala wodziimba mlandu kapena woipa mopanda chifukwa pa zinthu zomwe sanachite ndipo sangathe kuzilamulira kapena kuzisintha. Kapenanso zinthu zomwe zili zolakwa za mnzawo. Chifukwa chake, mnzawo akapeza DUI, amamva kuti ali ndi udindo. Kapena, amangoganizira momwe akanachitira kuti apewe. 

Mnzawo akaiwala kunyamula ana kusukulu, m’malo mowayankha mlandu, amadzimenya okha chifukwa chosawakumbutsa. Anzawo nthawi zambiri amagwiritsa ntchito chizoloŵezi chimenechi kuti athawe mlandu uliwonse. Kapena, kuwaimba mlandu kuti apeze zomwe akufuna. Ngati m’modzi wa m’banja adzimva kuti ali ndi mlandu pa chilichonse chimene chimachitika kwa mnzake kapena kulola mnzawo kuti amve choncho, ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo zosonyeza kudalirana m’banja.

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4. Kubisa khalidwe loipa la mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu

Kodi codependency imawoneka bwanji? Nthawi zina, zikuwoneka motere:   

• Mwamuna kapena mkazi wina akachita zinthu molakwika ataledzera paphwando, mnzakeyo amabisa kapena kupereka zifukwa zodzikhululukira.
• Ngati bwenzi limodzi wataya chunk lalikulu la ndalama kutchova juga kapena kuchita mtundu wina wa kusakhulupirika pazachuma, monga kubweza ngongole ya kirediti kadi, enawo amakumba ndalama zawo kuti awapulumutse

M’maubwenzi oterowo, mwamuna kapena mkazi mmodzi amatchinjiriza mnzake ku zotsatira za zochita zawozo. Nthaŵi zina, zimenezi zimadza chifukwa cha kuphatikana ndi chikumbumtima chawo kapena kuswa lamulo. Ndipo zimachokera ku mantha okumana nawo, kukhumudwitsa, kukhumudwitsa, kapena kutaya wokondedwa wawo. Ngati muli mumkhalidwe wofananawo, kumbukirani kuti mnzanuyo ndi wachikulire amene ayenera kudziŵa kuti zochita ndi zosankha zake zimakhala ndi zotsatirapo zake.

Kuti muphwanye chitsanzocho, muyenera kulola mnzanuyo kuyeretsa zonyansa zawo, m'malo moyesera kuthetsa vuto lililonse kwa iwo.

Gopa Khan, psychotherapist

5. Wokondedwa Mmodzi amakhululukira ndi kukhululuka

pamene kukhululuka mu maubale ndizofunikira, zimatengedwa monyanyira mu kusinthasintha kokhazikika. Kumakhalanso udindo wa munthu mmodzi yekha. Odalirana amakhululukira mosavuta cholakwa chilichonse, cholakwa chilichonse, kuphonya kulikonse kwa mnzawo popanda kumuimba mlandu.

Malinga ndi Gopa, izi zimachokera ku mantha osiyidwa komanso kukhala yekha. Chifukwa chake, amapitilizabe kukhululukira mnzake pacholakwa chilichonse ndi chiyembekezo kuti awona zolakwika kapena kusintha kwawo. Koma ngati sangaimbidwe mlandu chifukwa cha zochita zawo, n’chifukwa chiyani angatero?

6. M'banja lodalira pawokha, kusintha sikuli bwino 

Tonse timasanduka ndi nthawi ndipo palibe amene anganene kuti ndi munthu yemweyo yemwe anali zaka 5, 10, kapena 20 zapitazo. Koma, ndi awiri odalirana mu ubale, kusinthaku sikuli kwabwino. Tiyeni timvetse mmene. Mukawona momwe codependency ikuwoneka, mupeza chinthu chimodzi chosowa - mawu akuti ayi.

Ma Codependents amagulitsa kudzidalira kuti atsimikizidwe. Amaona kuti amakakamizika kunena kuti inde pa chilichonse chimene mnzawo akufuna. Amatheranso nthawi yochuluka akuvina kuti agwirizane ndi mmene mnzawoyo akumvera komanso kukhala wodalirana kwambiri moti amalephera kukhudza mmene akumvera. Pamapeto pake, amangomaliza kudziyang'anira pansi.

Malingaliro awo, malingaliro awo, malingaliro awo, ndi zidziwitso zawo zimakwiriridwa mwakuya kotero kuti sangathe kuwafikira - ngakhale atafuna. Osanena ayi, kulola wina kukuuzani momwe mukumvera ndi kuchita, kupepesa pazinthu zomwe simunachite, kunyalanyaza kudzisamalira - zonsezi ndizizindikiro kuti mukupereka mphamvu zanu komanso zoyambira kuti musiye mbali zanu. Ndipo palibe ubale umene uli woyenera zimenezo.

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7. Pali wosamalira nthawi zonse komanso wozunzidwa kosatha

Kutalikirana, okwatirana odalirana angaoneke ngati akupenga m’chikondi. Koma kuyang’anitsitsa kudzasonyeza kuti mmodzi wa iwo akuchita zambiri mwachikondi ndi chisamaliro. Wokondedwayo nthawi zambiri amakhala ngati wosamalira/wopereka ndipo winayo amatenga udindo wa wogwiriridwayo/wosamalira pachibwenzi. Chomwe chimasiyanitsa maanja otere ndi chakuti: 

• Palibe amene amachoka pa udindo wawo. Palibe kubwezerana kapena kugawirana bwino 
• Pali kusalinganika kwakukulu kwamphamvu komwe munthu amamvera mnzake ndikudzipereka yekha ndi moyo wawo m'dzina la chikondi chopanda dyera - mpaka kutopa.
• Anthu awiri odalirana paubwenzi amadyetsana machitidwe oipa  

8. Woperekayo akumva kuti watayika popanda kudziwika kwa 'wopulumutsa'

Tangoganizirani izi. Wokondedwa wanu pamapeto pake aganiza zosiya kumwa mowa kapena kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndikulowa mu rehab. Kapena, amayamba kuyesetsa kukhala bwenzi lodalirika lomwe lingathe kugawana nawo zolemetsa zanu ndikukupatsani chithandizo. Koma m’malo mokhala ndi chiyembekezo komanso kupepukidwa ndi kusintha kwa zinthu kumeneku, mumaona kuti mwatayika komanso mwamanidwa. 

Kusamalira ndi kupulumutsa bwenzi nthawi zambiri kumakhala kofunika kwambiri pa moyo wa munthu wodalira. Amadzimva otayika popanda izo.

Si zachilendo kwa wopereka kapena wopulumutsa muukwati wongodalira pawokha kukhala wopsinjika maganizo kapena kukwiya pamene wokondedwa wawo waganiza zoyamba kuyesetsa kukhala bwino. Angathenso kuchititsa dala chisokonezo kuti athe kuvalanso chipewa chopulumutsa. Si zachilendonso kwa wothandizira kuchoka m'banja kuti apeze wina 'wopulumutsa'.

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9. Kuopa kukhala wekha kumakupangitsani kukhalabe m’banja

Sharon (dzina lasinthidwa) anali ndi zaka 30 ndipo akulimbana ndi nkhawa za makolo chifukwa chokhala wosakwatiwa pamene anakumana ndi Jared, yemwe anali atakwatira kale. Anamukakamiza kuti akwatirane naye. Tsoka ilo, ukwati utangotha, Jared anatembenukira kwa iye ndi kumunyoza. Ngakhale kuti Sharon anazindikira nkhanzazo, sanakane. Anadziona kukhala wolakwa pa mkhalidwe wake ndipo anawona kuti anafunikira ‘kuvomereza’ kuopa kukhala yekha.

Gopa anati: “Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa mikhalidwe yodalirana kwambiri m’maubwenzi, pamene munthuyo amaona kuti sangakhale ndi moyo wina kusiyana ndi umene alimo,” akutero Gopa, “zochitika za achinyamata ofuna kudzipha chibwenzi chawo chikatha chifukwa amaona kuti sangathe kupita patsogolo m’moyo popanda kutero ndi zitsanzonso za kudalirana.

Kwa anthu odalira pawokha, kuopa kukhala yekha kaŵirikaŵiri kumafooketsa. Izi zitha kuwapangitsa kuti akhazikike pamavuto kapena maubale oopsa ndikupereka zonse kuti akonze ndi kuzipanga kuti zigwire ntchito. Komabe, palibe ubale womwe ungapulumutsidwe popanda kukonza kaye machitidwe omwe ali ndi zolakwika.

10. Nkhani zowongolera ndi nkhawa ndizizindikiro zazikulu za kudalira

Kodi ma codependents akuwongolera? Iwo akhoza kukhala. Nkhani za Codependency ndi zowongolera nthawi zambiri zimalumikizana. Woperekayo amakakamizika kulamulira chirichonse - khalidwe lophunziridwa kuchokera kukulira m'malo osagwira ntchito kapena achisokonezo, zomwe zimawapangitsa kudzimva kuti alibe mphamvu. Amakhalanso ndi nkhawa kwambiri, ngakhale zinthu zikuyenda bwino. Ndipo, nthawi zonse amadikirira kuti nsapato ina igwe chifukwa ndi chitsanzo chomwe amachizolowera. Omwe ali muubwenzi wodalirana, panthawiyi, ali wokonzeka kusiya kulamulira konse poyamba koma amadzakwiyitsa pambuyo pake.

11. Okwatirana odalirana amavutika kuti apatuke 

Mukudziwa kuti pali vuto mu ubale wanu. Nkhawa zosalekeza, kupsa mtima, kapena kukwiyira ndizofala kwambiri moti n’zosatheka kuzinyalanyaza. Koma simungathe kudzibweretsa nokha kusiya ukwatiwo ndi kuyamba mwatsopano. Mwina chifukwa:

• Lingaliro longochokapo limadzaza ndi liwongo ndi manyazi 
• Mwadzitsimikizira nokha kuti wokondedwa wanu sangakhale ndi moyo popanda inu. Chotero, lingaliro lotenganso moyo wanu limakhala lofanana ndi kuwononga wawo, kapena 
• Lingaliro lakuti ubwino wa mnzanu ndi udindo wanu lazika mozama kwambiri moti kusiya nokha kwakhala kosatheka.

“Iyi ndiyo mbali yolimba kwambiri ya kudalirana m’banja chifukwa zingakhale zoona kuti wina sangapirire popanda mwamuna kapena mkazi wake.” Koma kuchoka kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo kungathandize munthu wosagwira bwino ntchitoyo kuti apeze chithandizo chimene akufunikira.” Komabe, kudalira pa zinthu zina kungawononge kwambiri thanzi lanu la maganizo, lanu komanso la okondedwa anu,” akutero Gopa. Ndicho chifukwa chake kumvetsetsa kudalirana, makamaka zizindikiro za kudalirana, ndi kupeza njira zothetsera izo ndizofunikira. 

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Kodi kudalirana kuli bwino m'banja? Ayi konse. Pokhapokha ngati chikondi chimayenda njira zonse ziwiri komanso mofanana mu chiyanjano, sichingatchulidwe kuti ndichabwino. Komanso sichingafotokozedwe kuti ndi chikondi chenicheni. Ndiye, kodi ubale wodalirana ukhoza kupulumutsidwa? Kodi awiri kugonjetsa kudalira? Inde, malinga ngati zizindikiro ndi magawo a kudalirana awonedwa msanga ndipo thandizo la akatswiri kapena upangiri waukwati ukafunsidwa, molingana ndi izi. phunziro. 

Ngati mukuyesera kumvetsetsa momwe mungapewere kukhala odalira kapena kuti musamadalire kwambiri wokondedwa wanu, Gopa ali ndi malangizo okhudzana ndi kusiya kudalira mopanda thanzi, kuchiza banja lodalirana, ndi kupanga maubwenzi abwino:

1. Tenganinso mbiri yanu

“Kuika maganizo pa kukulitsa umunthu wanu, kudziona kuti ndinu wofunika, kudziona nokha, ndi kudziona nokha n’kofunika kwambiri kuti muthe kusiyanitsa mmene mungagonjetsere kudalirana,” akutero Gopa. Kuti muchite izi, muyenera:

• Khalani ndi nthawi ya 'ine' 
• Pitirizani kukhala ndi anzanu apamtima, zokonda zanu, ndi ntchito zanu 
• Chokani m'dera lanu lachiyanjano ndikukhala omasuka kufunafuna ufulu wodziyimira pawokha

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2. Ganizirani za kudzisamalira

Gopa anati: “Mchitidwe wa kusamalirira umene umapezeka mwa anthu amene amangodalira paokha umayamba kukhazikika paubwana.” Kugwiritsa ntchito luso lomwelo podzisamalira kungathandize kuchepetsa nkhawa ndi kukulitsanso chidaliro ndi kudzidalira kwanu,” akutero Gopa. Kuti mupewe kukhala wodalira komanso kukonda wina mpaka kutopa, yesani: 

• Khalani okoma mtima kwa inu nokha phunzirani kudzikonda nokha
• Fufuzani mwadala zomwe mumakonda komanso zomwe mukufuna kuchokera paubwenzi
• Khalani ndi chizolowezi chonena zomwe mukufuna ndikuwunika momwe mukumvera pafupipafupi

3. Konzaninso zomwe muli ndi udindo ndi zomwe simuli

Malinga ndi Gopa, kuti mudziwe momwe mungagonjetsere mabodza odalirana, muyenera:

• Vomerezani kuti simuli ndi udindo pa zovuta za mnzanuyo
• Lekani kuganiza kuti ndi inu nokha amene mungakonze mavuto awo
• Pewani kupangitsa okondedwa anu kudalira inu mpaka pamene sangathe kudzisamalira okha
• Dziwani kuti ngati munthu akuchitira nkhanza, kugwiritsa ntchito zinthu, kapena kubera, ndiye kuti ali ndi udindo pa khalidwe lake
• Chotsani chizolowezi chodziimba mlandu kapena kubisa / kubisa zomwe muli nazo kwa achibale anu 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: 9 Zitsanzo za Malire Amalingaliro Pamaubwenzi

4. Khazikitsani malire

Ngati mwakhala mukudabwa, "Kodi ubale wodalirana ungapulumutsidwe?", Dziwani kuti sizingatheke popanda malire abwino. “Mpaka atalola kusokonezedwa kwa malire, odalira pawokha adzapitirizabe kudziona kuti alibe chochita ndi olephera kulamulira maubwenzi awo,” akutero Gopa. Kuti mukonze kudalirana ndikudziteteza, muyenera kuphunzira kukhala wotsimikiza komanso wotsimikiza ikani malire kuzungulira nthawi yanu, malo anu, mphamvu, ndalama, ndi makhalidwe omwe mungawalole kapena osawalekerera. 

5. Dulani machitidwe osayenera

Kuthetsa kudalirana m'banja sikutanthauza kuthetsa ukwati, koma kupeŵa makhalidwe odalirana n'kuikamo abwino. Kuti mukonze ukwati wodalirana, mungafunike: 

• Funsani chifukwa chomwe mukuvomera china chake komanso ngati muli ndi nthawi / mphamvu zake m'malo mongoyankha kuti inde
• Lekani kufuna kuchita zinthu mwangwiro ndi kukhala ndi ziyembekezo zenizeni za inu nokha, mnzanu, ndi ubale wanu
• Lolani mnzanuyo kuti athane ndi mavuto awo 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kukonza Ubale Wapoizoni - Njira 21 Zochiritsira PAMODZI

6. Pezani thandizo

Kugonjetsa kudalirana sikophweka ndipo njira yobwereranso siili yolunjika, yofulumira, kapena yosavuta. Kuti muthane bwino ndi vuto la momwe mungagonjetsere kudalirana, muyenera kupanga njira zothanirana ndi vutoli, kuphwanya machitidwe akale, ndikukonzanso malingaliro oyipa. Izi zingafunike chithandizo.

Ngati mukuyang'ana chithandizo, pali odziwa zambiri alangizi pa Bonogulu la bology amene angasangalale kukuthandizani. Kulowa gulu lothandizira, monga ndi ayi kapena Alcoholics Anonymous, atha kukuthandizaninso kuti mukhale ndi malingaliro akunja ndikulimbana ndi kudalira.

Malinga ndi a Gopa, njira yochiritsira banja lodalirana imangoyamba pomwe mutayamba kudzizindikira nokha ndikudziganizira nokha komanso zosowa zanu. Poyamba, kuphunzira kulimbana ndi kudalirana n'kusiya makhalidwe akale kungakhale kovuta. Kumeneko kumafuna chithandizo kungakuthandizeni kuti musamachite zinthu mopupuluma ndiponso kuti musamaiwale mavuto amene angachititse kuti ukwati wodalira pawokha ukhale wabwino komanso kuti ubwenzi wanu ukhale wabwino.

Ibibazo

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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.