Kusudzulana ndi mawu oipa komanso ovuta koma ukwati ukakhala wosakhazikika, palibe njira ina koma kuganizira mawu akuti 'D'. Komabe, ngakhale kuti malamulo ndi zovuta zina za kulekana mwalamulo zingatenge nthawi, sizingakupwetekeni kupeza upangiri wabwino wokhudza kulekana kwa ukwati. Ukwati wovuta si wophweka m'maganizo, choncho tinaganiza zobweretsa Geoffrey Setiawan, mlangizi waubwenzi ndi ukwati, ndi loya Laila Zafar, kuti atipatse malangizo amomwe tingathanirane ndi nthawi yolekana.
Pali mwayi kuti si kupatukana kulikonse m'banja kungasinthe kukhala chisudzulo chovomerezeka. Koma ikadali nthawi yachisokonezo ndi kusokonezeka maganizo. Kukhala ndi mapu amtundu wina nthawi ngati zotere kumakuthandizani kuti muzitha kuthana nawo moyenera, molunjika kwambiri, ndipo ndipamene tikukhulupirira kuti malangizowa adzathandiza.
Momwe Mungayambitsire Kulekana
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kukhala kutali ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wokangana kungakhale lingaliro labwino pa maubwenzi ambiri omwe akulephera . Kumakupatsani nthawi yokonzekera nkhondo yosapeŵeka yomwe ikubwera ndipo nthawi zina, kungakulepheretseni kuchita zolakwa zina zomwe zingawononge maubwenzi.
Kulekana kwaukwati kaŵirikaŵiri kumaganiziridwa pamene simukutsimikiza ngati mukufunadi kusudzulana. Zitha kukhala ngati kupatukana mwamayesero - pomwe okwatirana aganiza zokhala padera kuti awone momwe akumvera pa chibwenzicho - koma nthawi zambiri, maanja amapatukana chifukwa akhutitsidwa koma samawona kufunika kothetsa chisudzulo chotopetsa.
Mutha kapena simungathe kupulumutsa banja panthawi yopatukana koma upangiri wabwino kwambiri wopatukana waukwati womwe munthu angapereke ndikuwutenga ngati kugawanika kwenikweni m'malingaliro ndi mwathupi.
Laila anati: “Kaya mukufuna kupatukana mwalamulo kapena chisudzulo, nthawi zonse ndi bwino kukambirana ndi loya wodziwa bwino ntchito yanu kuti mumvetse zimene mukuchita pa nkhani ya udindo wanu, ndiponso mavuto amene mungakumane nawo ngati banja latha.”
M’mawu ena, ngati munayamba kuonana ndi phungu pamene vuto linayamba m’paradaiso, pitirizani kuwadalira ngakhale panthaŵi imene munapatukana. Yambani kukambirana ndi loya wanu panthawiyi kuti muthe kusankha woyenera mukamathetsa banja.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malangizo Abwino Kwambiri Osudzulana Kwa Akazi
Aliyense amene waganiza zotuluka m'banja - kaya inuyo kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu - ayambe kukambirana ndi mfundo za kulekana kwa banja. Kumbukirani kuti musamenyane panthawiyi chifukwa kugawanika kukuchitika kuti nonse muzindikire sitepe yotsatira. Choncho khalani mwamtendere momwe mungathere.
Nthawi zina, ubwenzi ukakhala pamwala, sungathe kugwira ntchito kapena kuganiza bwino ngati mukukhala m'nyumba imodzi ndi mnzanuyo. Chifukwa chake, kufunikira kwa malo ndi kukambitsirana bwino, mudzafunikira upangiri wolekanitsa ukwati.
Malangizo Olekanitsa Ukwati- Malangizo 11 Anzeru
Pangakhale nthaŵi yaitali musanapange chosankha chothetsa ukwati wanu ndi pamene kwenikweni utha. Gawo la kupatukana kwaukwati ndi lovuta kwambiri chifukwa mabala ndi aawisi komanso njira yakutsogolo, yosadziwika bwino. Ngakhale zinthu zitalakwika bwanji, kupatukana m’banja kumatanthauza kupatukana ndi munthu amene munali kum’konda komanso amene mumamukondabe. Kuthetsa moyo womwe mwamanga pamodzi sikophweka.
Palibe malamulo okhazikitsidwa a momwe mungachitire panthawi yopatukana, koma thandizo laling'ono la momwe mungathanirane ndi kupatukana m'banja silimapweteka. Ndiye nawa malangizo ena oti mudutse nthawi imeneyi osapeza zipsera zambiri kuposa zomwe mwadziunjikira m'banja lanu.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Muyenera Kusudzulana? - Lembani Mndandanda wa Kusudzulana Uku
1. Vomerezani chikhumbo cha kupatukana
Kuzindikira kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akufuna kupatukana kungakuchititseni mantha. Mwamuna wako akanena kuti ndathana nawe, sudziwa choti uchite. Chizoloŵezi chachibadwa chingakhale kuyesa ndi kumunyengerera kuti achite mosiyana. “Osatero.” anatero Geoffrey. "Kuyesetsa kwanu kuwapangitsa kukhalabe kumatha kukubwezani pomwe mukuganizira mozama komanso mukawakakamiza, m'pamenenso amafuna kukhalabe."
Setiawan akuwonjezera kuti yankho labwino kwambiri lingakhale kuvomereza chikhumbo chopatukana. Zimasonyeza kuti mumalemekeza maganizo awo komanso mumamvetsa chifukwa chake amafunikira nthawi yotalikirana, zimasonyezanso kuti ndinu olimba mtima ndiponso ndinu okhwima maganizo pankhani yothetsa banja ndiponso kuti ndinu wokonzeka kuwapatsa zimene akufuna ngakhale kuti mumasiyana.”
2. Osauza dziko za izi
Tinene kuti mulibe chochitira koma kupita kukapatukana. Tsopano, pakakhala mavuto m’paradaiso, n’kovuta kuwabisira anthu ndipo monga mukudziwa, pangakhale miseche. Pakadali pano, musayende ndikulengeza zamavuto anu. Njira yolekanitsa banja ndi yovuta ndipo imatha kukhala yoyipa, simufunika kuti anthu ammudzi azikuyang'anirani.
Sikuti mudzangopatsidwa upangiri waulere wolekanitsa ukwati, kaya maupangiri kapena upangiri wazamalamulo, mawu a anthu atha kufika kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, kukulitsa mkhalidwewo. Musamangoganizira za mavuto a m’banja.
Kupatukana sikudziwika koma panthawi yovutayi simungafune chikoka chakunja makamaka ngati wina wa inu akuyembekeza kupulumutsa banja panthawi yopatukana.
3. Dzipatseni inu nthawi ndi okondedwa anu
Kwa anthu ambiri, kupatukana ndi sitepe yaikulu ya kusudzulana. Kwa ena, ndi sitepe mmbuyo kuti awone momwe zinthu zilili ndi kuganiza ndi mutu wabwino. Koma mwanjira iliyonse, iyi ndi gawo losakhazikika la moyo lomwe simukudziwa komwe mukupita.
Osathamangira zinthu panthawiyi chifukwa nonse mungakhale mukukumana ndi zowawa zopatukana m'banja.
Nali limodzi mwa malamulo akuluakulu olekanitsa mabanja. Osachepera milungu ingapo yoyambirira, musalankhule ndi mnzanu kapena kuyesa kukankhira malingaliro anu pa iye. Muzipatsana nthawi yokonza zonse zomwe zalakwika. Kungakhale lingaliro labwino kupeza thandizo la phungu ngati simunatero.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Uphungu wa Ubale - Zonse Zomwe Muyenera Kudziwa
4. Dziperekeni kuti mukhale bwino
Banja silitha chifukwa cha munthu mmodzi yekha. Choncho phunzirani kukhala ndi udindo pa zochita zanu. Chofunika kwambiri, fotokozani kudzipereka kwanu kuti mukhale bwino kwa wokondedwa wanu. Sungani ego yanu pambali; potero, ndiye kuti mukuvomereza gawo lanu pakutha kwa ubalewo.
“Mukalonjeza kuti mudzadzikonza nokha, fotokozani momveka bwino momwe mungakhalire mnzanu wabwino – mwa kulankhulana bwino kapena kukhala womvetsetsana bwino,” akutero Geoffrey. “Khalani osavuta kuvutika ndi zofooka zanu ndipo pitirizani kukhala ndi khalidwe lomwe munalonjeza kuti mudzalisintha, mogwirizana ndi zomwe mkazi/mwamuna wanu wakhala akufuna.”
5. Dziwani zosankha zanu zamalamulo
Limodzi mwa malangizo ofunikira kwambiri okhudza kulekana kwa ukwati omwe maloya amapereka ndikudziwa zomwe malamulo akutanthauza pankhani ya kulekana. Ndikofunikira kukhala ndi mndandanda wa milandu yokhudza kulekana . Ngati inu ndi mnzanu mukufuna kukhala padera, sankhani zinthu monga amene ana azikhala naye nthawi yayitali, ndani amalipira mabilu, ndi zina zotero. Kupeza uphungu wa zamalamulo pankhani ya kulekana kwa ukwati ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri.
Kaŵirikaŵiri, chigamulo chotengedwa pa kupatukana chikhoza kukhala ndi chiyambukiro pa nkhani ya chisudzulo, ngati zinthu zifika pamlingo umenewo. Makamaka mu chisudzulo chonyansa kapena chotsutsidwa zochita zanu panthawi yopatukana zingagwiritsidwe ntchito ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kukuwonetsani molakwika pamaso pa woweruza.
Laila anati: “Ngati simungakwanitse kupeza loya, fufuzani mabungwe opereka thandizo lazamalamulo omwe boma limapereka kapena mabungwe omwe siaboma omwe amapereka chithandizo chalamulo kwaulere.
6. Dziwani zomwe mukuchita
Mosasamala kanthu kuti ndinu wotayidwa kapena wotayidwa, njira yabwino yothetsera kulekana ndi ukwati ndiyo kukhala ndi dongosolo. Ngakhale zingamveke zolimba, muyenera kudziwa komwe mungakhale, ndi zinthu ziti zomwe mudzafune, kodi mungabwerere kunyumba ngati mukufuna chilichonse, ndi zina zotero.
Kwenikweni, ndi bwino kudzilimbitsa nokha ku vuto lalikulu kwambiri chifukwa simungathe kunena ngati kulekana ndi chiyambi cha kutha kwa ukwati wanu. Muyenera kuganizira zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti ukwati wanu ukutha.
Kukonzekera ndikukonza dongosolo la momwe mungathanirane ndi kugwa kwamalingaliro ndi maudindo azachuma, kupangitsa kupatukana kukhala kovuta. Funsani thandizo kwa anzanu kapena achibale odalirika omwe mukudziwa kuti ali ndi msana pa nthawi yovutayi.
Komanso, sungani ndalama zanu momveka bwino. Kwa amuna, ngati kupatukana kwaukwati kukupita kuchisudzulo, ganizirani zinthu monga ndalama zolipirira, kulera ndi kusamalira ana ngati zikukukhudzani. Kwa amayi, ngati simukugwira ntchito pakadali pano, ino ingakhale nthawi yabwino kuti muyambe kuyang'ana pozungulira ndikuwongolera luso lanu.
“Kudziimira paokha pazachuma n’kofunika kwambiri panopa,” akutero Laila. Ngati mumadalira ndalama za mnzanu wa muukwati, zingakhale zothandiza kufunafuna ntchito yaganyu kapena ntchito ina iliyonse kuti mudzilimbikitse, kapena kuthandizidwa ndi achibale ndi/kapena anzanu pamene mukumvetsa kumene ukwatiwo ukulowera.
7. Dzitetezeni m'maganizo
Pamene mwamuna ndi mkazi aganiza zopatukana, onse amakumana ndi zowawa monga kudziimba mlandu, mkwiyo, chisokonezo ndi zina zotero. Nthawi zina, kusudzulana sikungakhale kowawa kwambiri popeza nthawi yopatukana imakhala yofanana ndi kukonzekera zifukwa za kupatukana mwalamulo.
Pakatha nthawi yotalikirana, ndizothekanso kuti m'modzi mwa okondedwawo angawonetse zizindikiro za chiyanjano pambuyo pa kupatukana, koma wina sangatero. Malamulo olekanitsa maukwati alibe kalikonse pamalingaliro amunthu osintha nthawi zonse.
Izi zitha kubweretsa zovuta zambiri chifukwa zimatha kukusiyani ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana. Chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kudzidziwitsa nokha ndikusunga zomwe mukufuna.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 15 Zobisika Koma Zamphamvu Zosonyeza Kuti Ukwati Wanu Udzatha Ndi Chisudzulo
8. Sankhani zimene mudzawauza ana
Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri zomwe muyenera kuchita mumndandanda wa upangiri wapatukana m'banja - kuchita ndi ana. Nthawi zina ana amatha kudziwiratu kuti chisudzulo chikubwera. Kapena ngati sakudziwabe zingawasokoneze kuwona amayi ndi adadi akukhala padera. Choncho mosasamala kanthu za mavuto amene nonse mungakhale nawo, yesani ndikugwirizana pankhaniyi.
Osasokoneza mnzanuyo kwa ana, khalani oona mtima nawo. Ndipo chofunika kwambiri adziwe kuti nonse muli nawo kwa iwo. Osawakokeranso mu sewero panthawi yopatukana. Kumbukirani, kulekana kwa ukwati kumakhala koipitsitsa kwa akuluakulu. Ana sachifuna.
9. Gwirani nokha pamodzi
Ngati kulekana kwachitika pa inu, kungakhale kowawa kwambiri. Ngati mukulekana chifukwa nonse awiri simungathe kupirira kuonedwa, mwina mukumva ngati simukufunidwa muubwenzi koma kulekanako kudzakhala kovuta kwambiri, kukusiyani ndi mavuto a nkhawa.
Mulimonsemo, muyenera kuyimirira nokha ndikudzigwira nokha. Phunzirani kudzisamalira mwa kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi ndi maganizo.
Zingakhale zosokoneza kudziwa momwe mungachitire panthawi yopatukana. Kodi mumalankhula ndi mnzanu kapena ayi? Mochuluka motani? Kodi muyenera kukhala wabwino ndikuyankha malembedwe? Kubetcherana kwanu kwabwino ndikukhala wachifundo koma wolimba. Komanso, musanyalanyaze ntchito yanu ngakhale mukukumana ndi zovuta pamoyo wanu. Nthawi zina, ntchito ikhoza kukhala njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera nkhawa pamoyo wamunthu.
10. Kukwaniritsa malonjezo anu
Panthawi yopatukana, dziwani kuti mnzanu akukuyang'anani ngati khwawa. Geoffrey anati: “Kulakwitsa kumodzi kungakhale kowononga kwambiri. "Choncho ndikofunikira kuti musagwere."
Mwachitsanzo, tinene kuti chimodzi mwa zinthu zimene zimachititsa kuti banja lanu liwonongeke ndi mmene mumawonongera ndalama kapena moyo wanu woipa umene umabweretsa mavuto aakulu.
Ngati mukufuna kukonza ukwati wanu , sonyezani mnzanuyo kuti mwasintha. Awonetseni kusintha komwe kungabweretse kusintha kwa iwo. Zizindikiro zazing'ono za kusungunuka kwa mnzanu amene mwasiya naye banja zimakupatsani chidziwitso cha nthawi yoti musiye kulekana.
11. Osachita chibwenzi mwachisawawa
Kupatukana kwa ukwati sikukupatsani chilolezo chochita chibwenzi cha nthawi zonse ndikuyamba kukopana pa intaneti kuti muyesere ndi akazi ena. Ngakhale simukuyesedwa kuti muyesenso ukwati wanu, musalowe mu gulu la chibwenzi tsopano popeza mwapatukana mosavomerezeka. Pali mavuto awiri pankhaniyi.
Khalidwe lanu la chibwenzi lingagwiritsidwe ntchito ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kuti akunyozetseni kapena mutha kulakwitsa m'maganizo ndi m'thupi mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu watsopano. Kulumphira mu ubale wina panthawiyi, kukhoza kusokoneza zinthu kwambiri. Mwachidule kudziwa zomwe simuyenera kuchita panthawi yopatukana ndikofunikira chimodzimodzi.
Uphungu wabwino koposa wapatukana waukwati umene munthu angapereke ndiwo kupondaponda mochenjera panthaŵi imeneyi. Tengani nthawiyi kuganizira za khalidwe lanu komanso la mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Dziyang'anireni ndikulowa mkati kuti mudziwe komwe mukuyima m'moyo. Kumveketsa bwino kudzafunika pamene mukukambirana chimodzi mwazinthu zovuta kwambiri paubwenzi. Funsani upangiri wazamalamulo pankhani ya kupatukana m'banja, khalani olimba pamalingaliro anu, dzisamalireni nokha ndi ana anu. Chirichonse chimene chidzachitike kenako, inu muli nacho ichi.
Ibibazo
Kulekana kungakhale kwabwino pa ukwati chifukwa kumakupatsani chidziwitso chomveka bwino. Mwina mungagwiritse ntchito nthawi yolekana kuganizira bwino zinthu ndikukonzekera kusudzulana kosatha kapena mungayesere kugwirizananso.
Musakankhire mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kwambiri panthawi yopatukana, musakokere ana mu sewero, musalumphe muubwenzi watsopano panthawi yopatukana ndipo musamachite zoipa kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kwa ena pamene mukusiyana nawo.
Zimatengera mmene mumamvera mumtima mwanu. Zingakhale zovuta kulankhula ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ngati kupatukana kuli kowawa kwambiri koma ngati kupatukana kuli bwino, palibe vuto kugwirizana ndi mnzanuyo. Inu mukhoza kuchita mwanjira iliyonse chifukwa cha ana.
Sichiyenera kukhala kwanthawi yayitali popeza kulekana kwautali, m'pamenenso kumakhala kothekera kwambiri kupita kuchisudzulo. Palibe nthawi yabwino koma iyenera kukhala yokwanira kukupatsani malingaliro omveka bwino komanso chidziwitso chamsewu wamtsogolo.
Fufuzani upangiri wamalamulo nthawi yomweyo ndikufotokozereni zomwe mungasankhe. Onetsetsani kuti ndalama zanu zili bwino ndipo dziwani momwe mungawauze ana ndi zomwe mukufuna. Ganizirani za ntchito ndi moyo wanu, dzipangitseni kukhala munthu wabwinoko komanso mnzanu.
Momwe Mungakonzekerere Mndandanda Wanu Wothetsera Chisudzulo
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
