Zifukwa 13 Zenizeni Zomwe Maubwenzi Akutali Sagwira Ntchito

"Tinangokhala ngati titasiyana", "Kusowa kwaubwenzi kunandivutitsa", "Nthawi zonse timalankhula, tinkamenyana." Aliyense ali ndi zifukwa zake zomwe maubwenzi apatali sagwira ntchito, koma nthawi zambiri amakhala osamveka bwino ndipo samapereka luntha. 

Tonse tikudziwa kuti kusowa kuyandikana kwa thupi kumasokoneza, koma tikudziwanso kuti si vuto lokhalo. Kunena zowona, maanja ambiri omwe amapatukana mu LDR akhoza kusokonezeka kwambiri pazomwe zidalakwika, kotero kuti ngakhale sangakhale ndi chithunzi chowonekera. 

Kaya mwangoyamba kumene LDR yanu kapena mukuyesera kupeza zifukwa zokhalira mumodzi, ndi bwino kudziwa zomwe zingatheke chifukwa cha kugwa kwa banja lakutali. Shazia Saleem (Masters in Psychology), yemwe amagwira ntchito yopatukana ndi upangiri wosudzulana, amatithandiza kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake komanso momwe mtunda umayambira. 

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Kafukufuku ndi wosiyanasiyana. Komabe, ambiri amabweretsa yankho lomwelo: Anthu ochulukirapo amatha kupirira maubwenzi apatali kuposa momwe mungaganizire. Ndipotu, malinga ndi a phunziro, pafupifupi 60% ya maanja amayenda bwino m'madzi akuda atalikirana. 

Kumbali inayi, ziwerengerozi zimatanthauzanso kuti 40% ya maanja sangathe kukhala ndi ubale wautali. Wophunzira phunziro akuti pafupifupi 37% ya maanja akutali amasweka atakhala oyandikana kwambiri. Ndani akanaganiza? 

Zina kafukufuku amanena kuti chikondi chikhoza kuzimiririka m’zochitika zoterezi m’miyezi 4.5. Chifukwa chake, anthu amatha kutha pasanathe theka la chaka atayamba LDR. Zowonadi gulu la maphunziro silingafotokozere zamtsogolo zamphamvu zanu, koma zimatipatsa lingaliro lachipambano cha maubwenzi oterowo. Izi zimabweretsa funso, chifukwa chiyani maubwenzi akutali sakuyenda bwino? 

Zifukwa 13 Zenizeni Zomwe Maubwenzi Akutali Sagwira Ntchito 

“Kusokonekera kwa kulankhulana, m’lingaliro langa, ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zimene zimachititsa maubwenzi akutali akulephera. Shazia. 

Inde, palinso kuthekera kwa kuchepa kulumikizana kwamaganizidwe, kusowa thandizo, kusakhulupirirana, ndi kudandaula za chinyengo cha mnzanu. "Nthawi zonse ndinkada nkhawa ndi chinyengo chake komanso momwe tingakhalire osagwirizana. Pambuyo pake zonsezo zinachitika. Ndiye, ndinganene kuti ndi kusakhulupirika ndipo anthu akusintha," adatero. wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu, atafunsidwa chomwe chimachititsa kuti maubwenzi oterowo athe. Komabe, kubera ndi vuto lofala paubwenzi uliwonse wachikondi. Tiyeni tikambirane mwatsatanetsatane za anthu omwe akuwakayikirawa nthawi zonse, komanso momwe angawonongere kuwonongeka kosasinthika. 

1. Zomwe simungathe kuzipewa: nkhani zoyankhulirana

Shazia akulongosola ndendende chifukwa chake okwatirana ambiri amakumana ndi vuto la kusiyana kwa kulankhulana, ndi mmene limawonekera: “Kulankhulana kumatuluka mipata mu LDRs pazifukwa zambiri.” Pali kusiyana kwa nthawi, ndandanda yosiyana kwambiri, ndi zinthu zofunika kwambiri zofunika kwambiri. Zotsatira zake, ubalewu ukhoza kukhala kumbuyo kwa kanthawi kochepa. 

“Pakati pa zonsezi, munthu amene akutsalirayo amayamba kuona kuti chibwenzicho n’chofunika kwambiri n’kuyamba kuchiika patsogolo kuposa china chilichonse. 

“Zikatere, chifundo chimathandiza kwambiri.” Munthu amene watsalira samvera chisoni mavuto amene mnzakeyo akukumana nawo, ndipo amene anasamuka amakhala wotanganidwa kwambiri ndi moyo watsopano moti n’kulephera kumumvera chisoni n’kuona mmene mnzakeyo angadzimvere yekha komanso kuti ali yekha. kusowa chikhulupiriro mu ubale, mkwiyo ukukula, ndi kulephera kulankhulana bwino.”

2. Kusowa ubwenzi wapamtima 

“Mfundo yaikulu n’njakuti, kukondana kwambiri ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu n’kofunika kwambiri kwa anthu ambiri.” Pakapita nthawi yaitali ndipo mulibe mwayi wokumana ndi munthu winayo, anthu amakonda kuchita zinthu zina kuti azitha kugonana kwina kulikonse,” anatero Shazia. 

Tinapita ku Reddit kuti afunse chifukwa chake maubwenzi otalikirana sakuyenda bwino, ndipo mayankho ambiri adawoneka kuti akukhudza momwe kusowa kwaubwenzi kumathera kukhala chifukwa chachikulu cha kukhumudwa, ndipo pamapeto pake kutha. 

Malinga ndi phunziro, 66% mwa omwe adafunsidwa adanena kuti kusowa kwa kuyandikana kwakuthupi ndiko chifukwa chachikulu cha zinthu zowonongeka. Sizili ngati kusowa kwa ubwenzi wapamtima nthawi zonse kumawononga ubale wautali, koma nthawi zambiri zimasokoneza, zomwe zimayambitsa mavuto ena. Komanso, sikophweka nthawi zonse kumangopita kukakumana ndi mnzanu, makamaka ngati akukhala pakati pa dziko lonse lapansi. Izi zikutifikitsa ku vuto lathu lotsatira: ndalama. 

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3. Nkhani zachuma zomwe zimalepheretsa maanja kukumana 

Muli kunja uko ku UK, mukuphunzira za Ph.D., pomwe mnzanu akugwira ntchito kukampani yaulangizi ya Big Four ku Japan. Sikuti simukufuna kuwaona, ndipo sizili ngati kusowa kwa khama, kungoti ndalama sizimera pamitengo. 

Kukumana miyezi iwiri iliyonse nthawi zambiri kumapangitsa kuti maanja azikhala olimba. Komabe, mukaganizira zovuta monga mtunda, kuletsa ndalama, kudzipereka kwamakampani, kapena zinthu zina zotere, zikuwonekeratu kuti kukumana kumakhala mwamwayi. Kusatha kukumana kwa nthawi yayitali, mosadabwitsa, kumatha kukhala kwakukulu vuto la ubale. 

4. Nkhani zokhulupirira 

“Ndimam’konda, koma sindingathe kuchita mtunda wautali.” Nthaŵi zonse ndimakhala ndi nkhaŵa ndi zimene akuchita nthaŵi iriyonse ya tsiku, ndipo akapanda kuyankha kwa maola ambiri, akamacheza ndi anthu amene sindinawamvepo kapena kuwaonapo, nkhaŵa imene imandipatsa n’njopanda phindu. akutero Linda, wazaka 24, woŵerenga wochokera ku Massachusetts. 

Ndikofunika kuzindikira kuti kusamva kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wanu si nkhani ya LDR. Anthu omwe ali paubwenzi wanthawi zonse amasiyananso nthawi zambiri zomwe amafuna kuchokera kwa wina ndi mnzake, ndipo zibwenzi zomwe sizitetezedwa zimadutsa. nkhani za trust za kukhulupirika kwa wina ndi mzake - ziribe kanthu kuyandikira kwa wina ndi mzake.

“Chizindikiro chimodzi chosonyeza kuti chibwenzi chanu sichikuyenda bwino ndi pamene inuyo kapena mnzanuyo nthawi zonse mumakayikira.” Poyamba anthu amayamba kudzikayikira akamanena kuti, “Kodi ndingathe kuchita zimenezi?” Kenako, kukaikira kumayamba kulowa muubwenzi, mwadzidzidzi, amayamba kuwona zolemba zapa social media kuchokera kwa abwenzi awo ndi anthu omwe sakuwadziwa, ndipo kukayikirana kumadzetsa mavuto nthawi zonse. 

5. Osayembekezera zovuta zomwe LDR imabweretsa 

Mumadziwa bwanji ngati LDR ili yoyenera kwa inu? Ndi funso lovuta kuyankha, ndipo maanja ambiri satha kupeza yankho loyenera. Kuphatikiza apo, ambiri samayembekezera ngakhale kuchuluka kwa zovuta zomwe LDR ibweretsa nazo. A phunziro akuti 70% ya maubwenzi apatali adatha chifukwa cha kusintha kosayembekezereka kwa zochitika. 

Wina amayesetsa kuchita zambiri kuposa mnzake, ndipo winayo nthawi zambiri amalephera kukwaniritsa zomwe amayembekeza chifukwa amakhala otanganidwa ndi zovuta zatsopano zomwe amakhala nazo pafupi ndi iwo.

6. Ndewu zambiri, kuthetsa kusamvana kochepa 

"Mosakayikira, kunali kusowa kwa kugonana komwe kunayambitsa kukangana kosalekeza ndi kukangana. Bweretsani izi ndikulephera kwathu kuthetsa ndewu pakuyimba ndipo muli ndi vuto losasinthika. Tinakhala miyezi 7,” adatero a Reddit wosuta. 

Sikuti ndewu zimangokulirakulira, nthawi zambiri zimakhala ngati mikangano ilibe malire. "Kusokonekera kwa kulumikizana, kachiwiri, ndiko chifukwa cha izi," akutero Shazia. “Chifukwa cha zinthu zosalamulirika monga kusiyana kwa nthawi, mavuto a maganizo, ndi mavuto azachuma, onse awiri angakhale atatopa kale. 

Komanso, pamene okwatirana a LDR amangolankhula za maganizo oipa monga mavuto omwe akukumana nawo, zowawa zomwe akukumana nazo, amangoganizira kwambiri za vuto, ndipo kawirikawiri amakambirana zinthu zabwino. 

7. Kulephera kuchita khama 

Monga momwe zilili ndi maubwenzi okhazikika, kusasonyeza kuyesayesa kulikonse kwa mnzako wokondana naye kungayambitse vuto lonse. Ngakhale pali zovuta zomwe onse awiriwa akukumana nazo, kuyesayesa kukuyenera kusavutike mpaka pomwe zokambirana sizichitikanso. 

Kuti mukhale ndi ubale wautali, mumafunikira kuleza mtima, khama, chifundo, ndi chikondi kuposa momwe mumakhalira nthawi zonse. Koma popeza zimenezo zimafuna kulinganiza zambiri, kudzimana, ndi kuthera nthaŵi yochuluka masiku enieni, okwatirana nthawi zambiri amalephera. 

8. Kuthamangitsidwa

"Chifukwa cha zinthu zambiri zakunja zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala zosatheka kudziwa zomwe zikuchitika m'moyo wa mnzanu mphindi iliyonse yatsiku, mutha kudzimva kukhala otalikirana nazo. 

"Simungathe kutsata nthawi zonse pamene wina ali (ndipo simukuyenera), koma pakapita nthawi, mukhoza kupeza zibwenzi zikusowa kwa nthawi yayitali. 

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9. Palibe tsiku lomaliza lomwe likuwonekera

Taganizirani izi. Sikuti nonse mumakhala theka la dziko lapansi, zomwe zimapangitsa kuyenda kosiyana kukhala kovuta kwambiri (werengani: okwera mtengo), simukutsimikiza kuti mudzawonana liti. Izi zimachulukitsa mavuto onse omwe tili nawo m'manja mwathu: kusowa kwaubwenzi komwe kumawoneka ngati kosatha, nkhani zoyankhulirana zomwe zikuipiraipira, kudalirana komwe sikungatheke, komanso kulumikizana kwamalingaliro komwe kumacheperachepera. 

10. Osakonzekera momwe mungasungire zinthu 

Ngakhale alipo chikondi chowona paubwenzi wautali, chikondi chimatha. Posawerengera momwe gawoli lidzavutira, posawerengera momwe nonse mudzalankhulirana wina ndi mnzake, ndiye kuti mukulephera. 

Ngakhale mutakhala kuti mulibe ndondomeko ya nthawi yoti mudzakumane kapena mtunda udzatha, mavuto onse omwe muli nawo adzawoneka ngati akupitirira mpaka kalekale. Ubale wopanda thanzi wautali nthawi zambiri umakhala wopanda dongosolo lamasewera, kapena lingaliro lofunikira. 

11. Kusatha kuthana ndi nkhani zaumwini 

Shazia ananena kuti: “Mavuto amene mwamuna ndi mkazi amakumana nawo akhoza kuwathetsa nzeru.” Sikuti aliyense amatha kuthana ndi vutolo bwinobwino, ndipo mkwiyo, kukhumudwa, ndi nkhawa zimene zimabwera chifukwa chothana ndi mavuto a m’moyo zimasokoneza ubwenzi wawo. “Ubwenzi umafuna nthaŵi yambiri, khama, ndi ndalama.” Pamene onse aŵiri ali otanganitsidwa kwambiri ndi ziŵanda zawozawo, zimawavuta kulinganiza ndipo sangachitire mwina koma kungosiya chibwenzicho.

Ngati muwona kuti inu ndi mnzanuyo simungakwanitse kupatsana nthawi yochepa yomwe mumayembekezera kuchokera kwa wina ndi mzake, ndithudi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe ubale wanu wautali sukuyenda bwino. 

12. Kusakhala pa tsamba limodzi pankhani ya njira zolankhulirana 

Kulankhulana ndikofunikira kwa onse maubale opambana, koma chomwe chilinso chofunikira ndikukhazikitsa njira yolumikizirana ndikuwongolera zoyembekeza. Ngati mukuyembekeza kuyankha mwachangu komanso kuyimba foni tsiku lililonse, koma mnzanuyo amakonda kutenga nthawi yake ndikuchita zinthu mwachangu, izi zitha kukhala mkangano. 

Izi ndizovuta m'machitidwe omwe si a LDR komanso maubwenzi. Pokhapokha ngati malingaliro awa akuyenera kuzinthu zamaganizidwe ndi nthawi ya munthu wina sakuphunzitsidwa, kusakhulupirirana ndi kulumikizana kwamalingaliro kumawononga ubale uliwonse. Ngati mukufuna kufika pamene LDR ili yoyenera kwa inu, yesetsani chifundo ndi kuleza mtima mu 'zonse' maubwenzi anu ndi mabwenzi, kuti muphunzire momwe mungasamalire zomwe mukuyembekezera pa ubale.

13. Kusintha kwa makhalidwe, zolinga, ndi umunthu

Malo atsopano, malo atsopano, mabwenzi atsopano, ntchito yatsopano, yunivesite yatsopano, dziko latsopano likhoza kusintha pang'onopang'ono malingaliro onse a munthu pa moyo. Ngakhale kuti pangakhale chikondi chenicheni muubwenzi wautali, kusintha kwa umunthu kumatha kukhudza zinthu mpaka pamene okwatirana sakudziwa ngati amakonda mtundu watsopano wa wokondedwa wawo. 

Kulankhulana bwino ndi kalembedwe kungasokonezeke, zomwe pamapeto pake zimabweretsa kusamvana. Zoonadi, mu ubale, mukuyenera kusinthika ndikukula ndi mnzanu. Koma nonse mukakhala ndi malo osiyana kwambiri akuzungulirani, kukula kofanana sikutheka. Kusamudziwa munthu amene mnzakoyo wakhalapo kungawononge ubwenzi wapatali. 

Ubale wotalikirana umafuna kukonzekera kochuluka, kuleza mtima, chifundo, ndi kulankhulana. Ngakhale zili choncho, ming'alu imayamba kupangika popanda mabwenzi ngakhale kuzindikira. Tsopano popeza mukudziwa chifukwa chake maubwenzi akutali sagwira ntchito nthawi zina, mutha kukonzekera bwino musanalowe nawo.

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