Mukalumikizana ndi wina, mukuwona zomwe zingatheke, mumayamba kuyankhula, koma zinthu sizikuyenda momwe mumayembekezera. Mwinamwake mwakhumudwitsidwa ndi zokhumudwitsa pang'ono monga kuumirira kwawo kugwiritsa ntchito mawu oti "kwenikweni" m'chiganizo chilichonse kapena mwinamwake mwasiya mbendera zofiira zowoneka bwino ngati clingness. Tsopano, mukufuna kuwadula, ndipo mizukwa imayamba kuwoneka ngati njira yabwino. Musanadumphire pa bandwagon, tengani kamphindi kuti mumvetsetse zomwe mizimu imanena za inu: kuti mulibe kukhwima kuti muthane ndi zokambirana zovuta kapena chidwi chopatsa munthu wina ulemu wofunikira kutseka.
Mosiyana ndi momwe anthu ambiri amaonera, 'sikozizira' kuchititsa munthu mzimu. Kodi kukhulupirira mizimu ndi kwachibwana? Izo ziri mwamtheradi. Kupereka mzimu kwa wina kumakupatsani chinyengo champhamvu. Zingawoneke ngati njira yosavuta yothetsera chibwenzi koma kunena zoona, pali njira zabwino zonenera kuti simukufunanso. Mwachitsanzo, “Pepani sindikuganiza kuti ndife oyenererana.”
Nthawi zambiri, anthu amene amachita zamizimu angayambe kunyada (a au-da-ci-ty!) chifukwa chokana munthu mochenjera kwambiri. Koma muyenera kukumbukira, ziribe kanthu zomwe munganene kuti palibe zifukwa zomveka zochitira munthu wina, kupatula ngati munthu amene muli naye ali ndi zizolowezi zankhanza / zachiwawa komanso kupita incommunicado ndiyo njira yokhayo yodzitetezera yomwe mungapeze. Komabe, kutengera momwe mizukwa ikuchulukira, izi siziri zifukwa zokhazo zomwe anthu amakokera mchitidwe wosokonekera.
Anthu ambiri amasankha kuchita izi chifukwa kukanikiza batani loletsa kumawoneka ngati njira yosavuta kuposa kuthana ndi kutaya munthu. Ngati mwakhala mukugwiritsa ntchito izi kale kapena mukuganizira zimenezo, zimathandiza kukumbukira uthenga womwe mumapereka mukasankha kupusitsa munthu. Tiyeni tiwone bwino zomwe kupusitsa kumanena za inu, ndi malingaliro ochokera kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo Juhi Pandey (MA, psychology) yemwe ndi katswiri pa nkhani ya chibwenzi, uphungu wa ukwati musanakwatirane, komanso kusudzulana.
Kodi Psychology Of Ghosting Ndi Chiyani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Aliyense amene wakhala akuchita chibwenzi chamakono amadziwa bwino mmene mzimu umakhalira. Koma kodi mzimu umamva bwanji munthu akamalankhula ndi mzimu wina? Nthawi zambiri, munthu akalankhula ndi mzimu wina, amafunafuna njira zodzinenera kuti anachita bwino ndikupitiriza ndi moyo wawo. Anthu ochita zamizimu amaona kuti cholinga chawo ndi kupewa kudzimva kuti ndi olakwa (chifukwa amavomereza kuti adachita cholakwika). Amapewa nkhaniyo monga momwe mizimu imapewera kuwala kwa dzuwa.
Komabe, ziribe kanthu kuti mumadzitsimikizira bwanji kuti muli ndi zifukwa zomveka zochitira munthu mzimu, pali uthenga womveka bwino wotengera njira iyi kuti muchepetse kulumikizana. Zomwe mizimu imanena za inu ndikuti mumaopa kulimbana. Mungakonde kulankhula ndi zochita zanu kusiyana ndi mawu. Maganizo anu amatha kuwoneka ngati osasamala, kutanthauza kuti mungakonde kutaya mkono ndi mwendo m'malo mongolankhulana. Pofotokoza za psychology ya mizimu, Juhi ananena kuti imasonyeza zinthu zotsatirazi zokhudza munthu amene wabwera nayo:
- Kupambana kulimbana: Mzukwa ukuyesera kupeŵa kukangana. Ghosting ndi njira yawo yodzitetezera kuti asafunsidwe. Pali mzere wopyapyala womwe umadula malire kuthawa chitetezo, ndipo ukakhala mzimu munthu, umadutsa mzerewo.
- Kusadzidalira: Mzukwawo sudzidalira mokwanira kuti ungayang'ane ndi munthu winayo ndipo ukubwerera mu chipolopolo chake kuti upewe kuyanjana.
- Kusatetezeka: Ngakhale mungakhale ndi chikhumbo chofuna kuitana munthu amene wakupatsani mzimu, ukhoza kukhala mzukwa womwe umadzimva wopanda chitetezo komanso wosatetezeka mukamacheza nanu.
- Chidwi chikuchepa: Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe zimachititsa kuti pakhale mizukwa muubwenzi ndi kuchepa kwa chidwi kapena kutayika kwa mgwirizano
Akatswiri a zamaganizo Thomas, Jhanelle Oneika, ndi Royette Tavernier Dubar mu kafukufuku wawo wa zotsatira za maganizo a mizimu aona kuti mizimu nthawi zambiri imakhala yoipa kwambiri kwa munthu wogwidwa ndi mizimu koma imakhudzanso munthu wogwidwa ndi mizimu ndipo imanena zambiri za umunthu wake ndi makhalidwe ake muubwenzi.
Iwo anena kuti mizimu ndi chinthu chopweteka kwambiri chifukwa ndi chofanana ndi kuchitiridwa chete. Zingayambitse munthu amene akulandira mizimuyo kupweteka kwambiri m'maganizo, zomwe zimamupangitsa kuti asamadziwe momwe angachitire mizimuyo osalola kuti izi ziwawonongere kudzidalira kwawo. Pali chizolowezi cha anthu ambiri omwe amalandira mizimuyo. Nthawi zambiri amachoka akapeza zomwe akufuna (zomwe nthawi zambiri zimakhala kugonana). Katswiri wa zamaganizo Carla Marie Manly (Ph.D.) anati, "Anthu akamakhala nthawi yambiri ali limodzi - komanso kulumikizana kwambiri - m'pamenenso mizimuyo ingakhale yovulaza maganizo ndi malingaliro a munthu amene walandira mizimuyo."
Nkhani zodzipereka ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe anthu amachitira nkhanza abwenzi awo apamtima. Zomwe mizimu imanena za inu ndikuti mutha kukhala osatetezeka. Chiyembekezo cha chinthu chanthawi yayitali komanso chokhazikika chimawopseza anthu omwe amakonda zamizimu kuti asiyane.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Kupha Anthu Mwankhanza Ndikochepa Kuposa Kupha Anthu Mwankhanza?
Zinthu 9 Zomwe Ghosting Ikunena Za Inu Kuposa Munthu Amene Mumamupatsa Mzimu
Zimene mizimu imanena za inu zimangodalira khalidwe lanu ndi machitidwe anu. Akuti ngati munayamba mwachitapo mizimu kamodzi, mwina mungadzachitenso. Izi zingakhudzenso ubale wanu wamtsogolo. Mukachita chipongwe ndi munthu wina, mumapereka uthenga wakuti simungathe kulimbana naye ndipo mwina mukuvutika ndi mantha odzipereka . Mukakhala pachibwenzi, mwachimvekere, nthawi zina zingakhale zovuta. Koma zimenezo sizikukupatsani ufulu wochita chipongwe ndi munthu wina. Sikuti ndi khalidwe loipa lokha komanso zimakupangitsani kukhala ndi maganizo oipa. Nazi zinthu 9 zomwe mizimu imanena za inu:
1. Ghosting n'chimodzimodzi ndi mantha
Anthu okonda mizimu amayamba chibwenzi (makamaka chifukwa cha kukongola kwa thupi) ndipo amafunafuna njira yothawirako akangoona chizindikiro choyamba cha chinthu chomwe chachitika kwa nthawi yayitali. Muli ndi mphamvu zochoka koma mulibe mphamvu zoti muuze mnzanu zimenezo. Simupatsa mnzanuyo chifukwa (makamaka kutseka chibwenzi mutasudzulana ) ndipo mumathawa mwachangu momwe mungathere.
Ngati sikuli mantha, sindikudziwa kuti ndi chiyani! Mizukwa imakana kuvomereza kuopsa kwa zomwe zikuchitika ndipo akuwoneka kuti akuganiza kuti kuchita zamizimu ndi yankho loyenera. Zomwe mizimu imanena za inu ndikuti simungathe kukumana ndi nyimbo ndipo mukuchita mantha.
Kuwerenga Kofanana : Zinthu 7 Zomwe Mungachite Ngati Mnyamata Wachita Chidwi, Kenako Wabwerera M'mbuyo
2. Zomwe mizimu imanena za inu ndikuti ndinu osinthika
Nthawi zina, anthu amapenganso akakhala ndi zosankha zambiri. Nthawi zambiri mumakhala mukufuna chinthu chosavuta ndipo simungakhale okonzeka kukhala pachibwenzi chodzipereka . Mumakopeka ndi ena pamene mukucheza ndi munthu wina. Ndipo m'malo mochita zachinyengo kapena kuswana, mumangopenga munthu amene mumacheza naye.
Koma m'malingaliro anga, zizolowezi izi zimadulidwa kuchokera ku nsalu yomweyo. Kuopa mizimu ndi koyipa ngati kunyenga munthu chifukwa mumazunza munthu wina m'malingaliro onse awiri. Muyenera kuzindikira kuti zomwe wina akunena za inu ndikuti simusamala za momwe anthu akumvera. Mumakopeka mosavuta ndipo simungathe kupanga malingaliro anu.
3. Makhalidwe okayikitsa
Kugonana ndi mizimu muubwenzi kumatanthauza kuvutitsa munthu wina. Ndipo ngakhale mutadziuza bwanji kuti ndi bwino kapena muli ndi zifukwa zomveka zogonana ndi mizimu, sichoncho. Sikuti zimangovulaza munthu amene mumagonana naye komanso inuyo. Zimene mizimu imanena za inu n’zakuti mungakhale ndi chikumbumtima chofooka.
Zimapangitsa dziko kudziwa kuti mungakonde kunamizira kuti palibe munthu m'malo momacheza ndi anthu okhwima komanso ammudzi. Ndi kulakwa kuchoka popanda kufotokoza. Ndipo ndi kulakwa kusamvetsetsa zotsatira zomwe zimakhala nazo kwa inu ndi mnzanuyo.
4. Nkhani zakusiya
Chizolowezi chofuna kupusitsa anthu chimasonyeza kuti mungakhale ndi mavuto osiyidwa . Nthawi zambiri, mukafuna kuchoka, ndi chifukwa chakuti mukuopa kuti mnzanu angakusiyeni tsiku lina. Kupusitsa ndi njira yanu yothetsera mantha amenewa. Simukumasuka ndi lingaliro lakuti mnzanuyo angakusiyeni nthawi iliyonse akafuna ndipo mumadziletsa kuti musagwiritse ntchito maganizo anu kapena kudzipereka kwa iwo. Mungakonde kupusitsa munthu amene mumamukonda kuposa kudikira kuti winayo agwe—zomwe, chifukwa cha kusadzidalira kwanu, nthawi zonse zimakhala mantha omwe akubwera m'maganizo mwanu.
5. Kusakhwima
Kodi kupusitsa munthu ndi nkhani yachikale? Inde, inde! Kulephera kulankhula moona mtima, ngakhale kuti ndi kovuta, kumasonyeza kukula kwa maganizo. Momwemonso mfundo yakuti simusamala za mavuto a maganizo omwe mumakumana nawo pa munthu wina pofuna kupewa mikangano. Ndipotu, kodi kupusitsa munthu muubwenzi n’chiyani ngati si njira yankhanza yopondereza malingaliro ndi malingaliro a munthu amene amakukondani? Ngati mukufuna kuchita zimenezo, simunakhwime kapena simunakonzekere kukhala pachibwenzi chokhwima komanso cholimba.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Mumauza Bwanji Munthu Kuti Simukufuna Kukhala Pachibwenzi?
6. Zimasonyeza kuti simuli otetezeka
Kusadzidalira ndiko maziko a kusamba m'manja. Simukuganiza kuti ndinu woyenera mnzanu; kuti muthane ndi kusadzidalira kumeneku, mumayesetsa kudziika pampando wamphamvu mwa kusamba m'manja ndi munthu amene mukumukonda, kapena choipa kwambiri, kusamba m'manja ndi munthu amene mumamukonda. Ngakhale kuti zifukwa za kusadzidalira kwanu , zimaonekera kukhala chinthu choipa monga kusamba m'manja ndipo musanadziwe, simungathe kusiya.
7. Mutha kukhala ndi vuto lodzipereka
Ngati simungathe kukhala paubwenzi wokhulupirika ndipo mbiri yanu yocheza ndi chibwenzi ndi yodzaza ndi zibwenzi zazifupi, zimasonyeza kuti mukuopa kudzipereka. Muli ndi lingaliro lokhazikika lakuti maubwenzi sakhala okhalitsa kapena kuti sali oyenera ndipo mumapeza zifukwa zoti muchoke. Zimene mizimu imanena za inu ndikuti simungathe kuthana ndi malingaliro ovuta. M'malo mocheza 'mosasangalatsa' ndi mnzanu, mumasankha kuchoka (ngakhale mutawakonda). Ndipotu, mizimu muubwenzi ndi chiyani ngati si mantha?
8. Muli ndi zokonda zachiphamaso
Taganizirani, kodi wina angapusitse mnzanu ngati atachita naye zinthu mwachidwi? Sangatero! Chifukwa chake zomwe mizimu imanena za inu ndikuti mumangofuna maubwenzi osafunikira chifukwa cha kukongola kwa thupi kapena kugonana. Chikoka chimenecho chikayamba kufooka, chidwi chanu pa munthuyo chimachepa. M'malo moyesetsa kukulitsa ubale wanu, mumakonda kupitirira. Popanda kuganizira momwe zidzakhudzire munthu amene akupusitsidwa.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 15 Zosonyeza Kudzipereka - Phobe Amakukondani
9. Mulibe chidwi ndi ubale wabwino
Mukakhala mzukwa wambiri, mulibe zibwenzi zambiri. Simunakhalepo nthawi yayitali kuti mupange tsogolo lokongola ndi mnzanu. Mukakhala mzukwa mosalekeza, zitha kutanthauza kuti simukufuna kukwatira, kukhala ndi ana, kapena kukhala m'nyumba yokhala ndi mipanda yoyera. Mizukwa imangoganizira zapano. Iwo samatengera zotsatira za nthawi yayitali zomwe mizukwa ingakhale nayo. Sikuti zimangopangitsa wokondedwa wawo kukhala ndi vuto lalikulu komanso zingawalepheretse kukhala ndi ubale wabwino.
Zomwe Munganene M'malo Mwa Ghosting
Ghosting ndizovuta zomwe sizimangokhudza okondedwa anu komanso zingakhudzenso inu. M'malo mochita zamizimu, ndi bwino kukhala ndi zokambirana zokhwima komanso zapachiweniweni. Muyenera kulola wokondedwa wanu kuti atseke kuti nonse muthe kupitirizabe m'miyoyo yanu.
Juhi akulangiza kuti: “Ndi bwino kunena mosabisa mawu ndi kuona mtima m’malo mongokhalira kulankhula monyanyira kwa munthu amene mumamukonda kapena amene munali naye pachibwenzi. Sitingavomereze zambiri. Ichi ndichifukwa chake tabwera ndi mayankho 6 omwe mungagwiritse ntchito m'malo mopatsa anthu mizimu:
- "Ndimatanganidwa ndi zinthu zambiri mochedwa, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwa ine kuti ubalewu ukhale wolimba." Muuzeni mnzanuyo kuti muli otanganidwa ndi mapangano ena. Lankhulani ndi mnzanu ngati zikukuvutani kukhala ndi moyo wokhazikika wantchito m'malo mochita zamizimu
- “Sindikumva a kulumikizana kwakukulu kwa mzimu pakati pathu. Sindikuwona chifukwa chokoka ubale womwe ulibe kuyanjana ndi chikondi. Zikhala bwino kuti tonse awiri tisiyane.” Kukana wokondedwa wanu kapena chidwi chachikondi kungakhale kopweteka koma kumakhala kopanda nkhanza kwambiri kuposa kukoka chinthu chomwe chikuzimiririka.
- "Eya, ndakhala ndi nthawi yabwino kwambiri ndi inu. Zikomo pondikumbutsa moyo wanga wonse. Ndimayamika munthu monga momwe mulili koma sindingathe kupitirizabe tsogolo." Kuyamikira pang'ono kumapita kutali. Kuyamikira wokondedwa wanu ndi 'zikomo' pang'ono musananene kuti 'tsanzikana' kudzachepetsa ululu kwa iwo.
- “Ndili mumkhalidwe wofuna kukhazikika m’moyo. Ili ndi limodzi mwamalemba abwino kwambiri oti mutumize m'malo mochita zamatsenga - limauza munthu winayo kuti mumasamala za ubale wanu.
- “Ndakhala nanu mosangalala koma chifukwa cha zinthu zina zaumwini, sindingathe kupitirizabe. Kukhala ndi mizukwa kumatha kuchotsera munthu mtendere wamalingaliro. Mawu osavuta otumiza m'malo mwa mizimu angakuchotsereni mtolo pachifuwa chanu
- "Ndikudziwa kuti timapanga banja labwino koma sindimadziona kuti ndipanga chibwenzi. Ndinkaganiza kuti ndakonzeka kukhala pachibwenzi, koma sizinali choncho." Vomerezani kuti simunakonzekere kukhala pachibwenzi. Khalani owona mtima polankhula zakukhosi kwanu
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mayankho 23 Abwino Kwambiri a Ghosting Amene Adzakumbukira Nthawi Zonse
Mafunso Ofunsidwa Kawirikawiri
Juhi amadziwikitsa kuti mzukwa ndi munthu wodzikonda, komanso wosadzidalira. Mizukwa ilibe chifundo chifukwa saganizira zomwe kugwidwa ndi mizimu kungachitire munthu winayo. Onjezani chithunzi
Kudziimba mlandu kwamizimu kumadalira chifukwa chamizimu. Ngati ndi chifukwa cha kusowa kwa luso la kulankhulana kwa wina kapena ngati zimachokera ku khalidwe losasamala la mdierekezi, ndiye kuti sipangakhale mlandu. M’malo mwake, ngati kuli mkhalidwe wamizimu kupeŵa mikangano kapena kufuna chisamaliro, ndiye kuti angachite manyazi ndi kukhala ndi liwongo la cholakwa chawo.
Juhi ananena kuti mizimu ikhoza kukhala vuto la umunthu mwa anthu opupuluma kapena opupuluma. Atha kukhala akukumana ndi zomverera mwamphamvu kwambiri, zomwe zimawapangitsa kukhala opanda chidwi. Koma, si nthawi zonse vuto la umunthu. Ghosting ingakhalenso chikhalidwe cha ena.
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Ghosting imanena zambiri za munthu yemwe akukoka chinthu chomwe chikusokonekera kuposa chomwe chili kumapeto
- Ghosting ndi chikhalidwe chomwe chimayambitsidwa ndi zifukwa monga kudzipereka, mantha, kusakhwima, kusatetezeka, komanso kusowa chifundo.
- Mzukwa ayesetse kumasuka ndi kukambirana m'malo mongotuluka paubwenzi popanda kunena 'zabwino'.
- Kulankhulana mogwira mtima komanso moona mtima komanso kufotokoza zakukhosi ndikofunikira
Maganizo Final
Ngati munagwidwapo ndi mizimu, ndiye kuti nkhaniyi ndi chikumbutso kuti anali iwo, osati inu. Nthawi zambiri, ndi vuto la munthu amene amachita zamizimu. Zimasonyeza kuti ali ndi mphamvu yolankhulana yofooka komanso kusowa ulemu. Mwina mungadabwe kuti, “Kodi mzukwa umamva bwanji ukapha munthu?” Ngakhale kuti sitingadziwe bwino, mizimu yambiri imakhala yoipa m'kupita kwanthawi. Choncho, khalani omasuka ndipo khalani kutali ndi mizukwa.
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
