Zizindikiro 10 Zachinyengo Zothandizidwa ndi Katswiri

Kuti muzindikire zizindikiro za kubera, muyenera kutha kufotokozera mwatsatanetsatane kuchuluka kwa kubera. Ndi kusakhulupirika pamene munthu wina amene ali pachibwenzi apanga ubale wachikondi kapena kugwirizana kwapamtima ndi wina yemwe si bwenzi lake. Kusakhulupirika m'banja kapena pachibwenzi sikungokhudza wokondedwa wanu kugonana ndi wina. Kumakhalanso kusakhulupirika pamene ayamba kukondana kwambiri ndi munthu wina. Kuberedwa kungayambitse mavuto ambiri m’maganizo ndipo kukupitirizabe kukhala chimodzi mwa zifukwa zofala kwambiri za kulekana ndi kusudzulana masiku ano. 

Malinga ndi kafukufuku yemwe anachitika ndi Health Testing Centers pa anthu 441 omwe adatenga nawo gawo, zidapezeka kuti opitilira 46% omwe adafunsidwa paubwenzi wokhala ndi mkazi m'modzi adati adachitapo chibwenzi pomwe adadzipereka kwa wina. Komabe, nthawi zambiri timalephera kuzindikira mbendera zambiri zofiira ndi zizindikiro zochenjeza zachinyengo. Izi zili choncho chifukwa ife timakonda kukhala ndi malo akhungu zikafika kwa anthu omwe timawakonda ndipo munthu amene watsimikiza mtima kukunamiza adzakhala masitepe awiri patsogolo panu. Adzayesa zonse zomwe angathe kuti asunge zolakwa zawo.

Pofuna kuwonetsetsa kuti simunasiyidwe mumdima ndikungolimbana ndi mabala akusakhulupirika komanso kusweka mtima, tinafikira kwa Utkarsh Khurana, katswiri wa zamaganizo, yemwe ndi mphunzitsi wa ubale ndi ubale, kuti adziwe zizindikiro za onyenga ndi kubera muubwenzi. Iye anati: “Zizindikiro zanthaŵi zonse za chinyengo cha mwamuna kapena mkazi monga kubwera kunyumba mochedwa, kubisa mawu a khadi la ngongole, kusiya zochitika za m’banja, kuthera nthaŵi yochuluka pa kudzikongoletsa ndizo njira zofala zotsimikizira kukayikira kwanu, koma sikokwanira kudziŵa motsimikizirika ngati n’zoona.

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Ngati mukuyang'ana zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akubera ndikuwona kuti mukuchita kusakhulupirika paubwenzi, ndiye tikuuzeni kuti simuli osiyana. Tikudziwa kuti kukaikira mwamuna kapena mkazi wako n’kopweteka kwambiri, koma ziŵerengero zikusonyeza kuti anthu ambiri ali ndi zibwenzi kunja kwa banja kuposa mmene mungaganizire.

Malinga ndi kunena kwa American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, kufufuza m’maiko kumasonyeza zimenezo 15% ya akazi okwatiwa ndi 25% ya amuna okwatiwa akhala ndi zibwenzi kunja kwa banja. Chochitikacho ndi cha 20% chapamwamba pamene maubwenzi okhudzidwa ndi kugonana popanda kugonana akuphatikizidwa.

ndi zinthu pa intaneti pa kukwera, kuthekera kwa exes reconnecting pa dinani batani, ndi zachikondi moŵa kuntchito, kuyembekezera kuti ubwenzi wanu adzakhala 100% chitetezo kusakhulupirika adzakhala wopanda pake. Ngakhale sitikuchotsera kufunikira kokhulupirirana paubwenzi kapena kunena kuti musinthe kukhala mnzanu wokayikira yemwe amazonda mobisa SO, pali kusiyana pakati pa kukhulupirirana ndi chikhulupiriro chakhungu. Zotsirizirazi zingakupangitseni kunyalanyaza zizindikiro zowoneka bwino za kubera muubwenzi, zomwe ndizomwe tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kuzindikira.

Zizindikiro 10 Zapamwamba Zachinyengo

Ngati mnzanu akukunyengani kapena kubisala chinachake, zizindikiro za kukhala osakhulupirika zidzawonekera poyera. Mukhozanso kukhala mkhole wa kuberedwa maganizo. Koma chifukwa chakuti mumawakonda ndi kuwakhulupirira mwachimbulimbuli, mwina munanyalanyaza zizindikiro zochenjeza zimenezi kuyambira kalekale. Komabe, ngati pali kumverera kovutirapo m'matumbo anu ndikukuuzani kuti china chake sichili bwino kapena mumadzifunsa nthawi zonse ngati muli basi. kukhala wokhumudwa kapena kunyengedwa kwenikweni, fufuzani kuti muwone ngati mungathe kuwona zizindikiro zachinyengo mu khalidwe la mnzanuyo:  

1. Okondedwa anu ali ndi khalidwe lopewa

Utkarsh anati: “Anthu amene amapewa kukhala ndi chibwenzi nthawi zambiri amabera anzawo.” Anthu opewa chikondi amawononga zinthu zimene zingawalepheretse kukhala ndi maubwenzi abwino.

Malinga ndi akatswiri a maganizo, anthu omwe ali ndi masitayelo odziletsa ndi anthu omwe safuna kukhala pachibwenzi, motero amakhala ndi mwayi wochulukitsa chiwerewere ndi kubera. Kotero ngati muli ndi mnzanu wapamtima yemwe wakhala akudzipatula kwambiri kuposa kale lonse, mwayi ukhoza kukhala mukuchita ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosadziŵika bwino za kubera muubwenzi.

2. Kusamalira kwambiri maonekedwe awo

Wokondedwa wanu kumetedwa kwatsopano kapena kupita kokonzanso kwathunthu palibe chodetsa nkhawa. Nthawi zina anthu amalakalaka kusintha kuti adzimve bwino kapena mwina akukumana ndi vuto lapakati. Komabe, mnzawo wosakhulupirika amakhala wosamala kwambiri za momwe amawonekera. Adzapitirizabe kugula zovala zatsopano, kuphatikizapo zovala zamkati zatsopano. Ichinso ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosaoneka bwino zachinyengo. 

Ngati mnzanuyo sakuyesera kuti aziwoneka bwino kwa inu, muyenera kufunsa kuti, amavala ndani? Ngati izi zachitika kamodzi kapena kawiri, ndiye kuti mulibe chodetsa nkhawa. Koma ngati ichi chakhala chizoloŵezi, ndiye kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zachinyengo zomwe simuyenera kuphonya. 

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3. Adzakugulirani mphatso mopambanitsa

Utkarsh akuti, "Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino zachinyengo. Ngati wokondedwa wanu nthawi zambiri amakudabwitsani ndi mphatso zamtengo wapatali, ndiye kuti akuyesera kubwezera zolakwa zawo. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zachilendo za mnzanu wachinyengo muubwenzi."

Kugula mphatso mopambanitsa ndi njira yawo yopangira chilichonse chomwe adachita kumbuyo kwanu. Ena mwa iwo amamva chisoni kwambiri chifukwa chonyalanyaza banja lawo. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ochita chinyengo amapita kukakuwonongani mopusa. Itha kukhalanso njira yakuchotsera fungo lawo ndikusunga zolakwa zawo mobisa. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zikusonyeza kuti wokondedwa wanu akugona ndi munthu wina. Muyenera kukhala osamala kwambiri nthawi ngati izi.

4. Iwo ndi wapamwamba zoteteza za zipangizo zawo

Wobera mnzake amateteza kwambiri zida zawo, kuphatikiza mafoni am'manja, iPads, ndi laputopu. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zofiira ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zachinyengo muubwenzi zomwe simuyenera kunyalanyaza. Pamene sakulolani kuti mugwire foni yawo? Mwina chifukwa akudziwa kuti ndiyo njira yosavuta a wachinyengo akhoza kugwidwa.

Ngakhale kuti mnzanuyo ali ndi ufulu wachinsinsi ndipo simuyenera kumangoyang'ana pa zipangizo zawo (ngati mutero, zimasonyeza kuti pali vuto lalikulu paubwenzi), kukayikira kwawo kusiya zida zawo kapena kuzisiya mosasamala pafupi ndi inu kumasonyeza kuti akubisirani chinachake. Ndipo pali mwayi wabwino kuti china chake ndi mnzake wapamtima m'moyo wawo.

Ngati mwawona kuti ali oipitsitsa akafika pazida zawo, nazi zina zomwe muyenera kuziganizira ndi izi:

• Kusintha mawu achinsinsi nthawi zonse
• Kutseka malo awo osungiramo zinthu 
• Kugwiritsa ntchito foni yachinsinsi
• Foni yawo idzakhala yotanganidwa nthawi yachilendo
• Msakatuli wawo mbiri idzakhala yoyera
• Sadzakulolani kuti muwerenge mameseji awo 
• Kukhala ndi mbiri zabodza pama media ochezera komanso mapulogalamu azibwenzi 

5. Kusintha kwa libido

Kugonana ndikofunikira mu ubale uliwonse wachikondi. Ngati mnzanuyo safuna kukhala pachibwenzi ndi inu pa kuyitanidwa kwanu kangapo, ndiye kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti mnzanuyo sakhala wokhulupirika. Ngakhale mutatha kugonana, mwina ndi chifukwa chakuti munayambitsa. Wobera mnzake sangafune kuyambitsa kugonana.

Kumbali ina, mungazindikire kusintha kwakukulu m'njira yomwe amachitira panthawi yanu yapamtima. Mnzanu wosakhulupirika yemwe ali kukhala ndi chibwenzi kunja kwa banja angafune kuyesa nthawi zina ndikuyesera zinthu zatsopano m'chipinda chogona chifukwa cha libido yawo yotsitsimula komanso chikhumbo chochita bwino pabedi. Mulimonsemo, kusintha kulikonse kosadziwika komanso mwadzidzidzi mu libido yawo kungakhale chizindikiro cha kusakhulupirika. 

6. Nthawi zonse amakuchitirani ndewu

Kukangana pakati pa anthu okwatirana n’kwachibadwa. Iwo amatsutsana ndiyeno amavomereza kuti asagwirizane nazo. Kenako amapsopsonana ndi kupangana. Ndi chizungulire banja lirilonse lidazolowera. Kumenyana uku kungakhale chifukwa cha chirichonse. Wokondedwayo akhoza kupanikizika kuntchito kapena kuthana ndi mavuto a m'banja kapena chifukwa cha zovuta zanu ndi mikangano yanu. Komabe, pamene mnzako akubera mnzake, mikhalidwe ya ndewu imeneyi imasinthanso. Amakhala obwerezabwereza ndipo nthawi zambiri popanda chifukwa chilichonse.

Pamene simunawakhumudwitse kapena kuwakhumudwitsa, n’chifukwa chiyani akukuchititsani kupirira mkwiyo ndi kukhumudwa kwawo? Mwina, ndi mlandu wobera womwe sangathe kuthana nawo kapena amangokhala osasangalala muubwenzi komanso kukwiya chifukwa cholephera kukhala ndi bwenzi lawo lochita chibwenzi kumawapangitsa kukalipira.

Kapena atha kukhala ovuta kugwirizanitsa maubwenzi awiri, ndipo inu, monga bwenzi lawo loyamba, mumawona mbali yawo yoipa. N’zoona kuti sangawononge fano lawo pamaso pa mnzawo watsopanoyo chifukwa chibwenzicho n’chatsopano ndipo safuna kuwawopseza potulutsa mkwiyo wawo pa iwo. 

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7. Perekani nthawi yochepa ku ubale wawo ndi banja

Utkarsh akufotokoza kuti, "Chimodzi mwazizindikiro zosonyeza kuti mnzanuyo sakhala wokhulupirika pachibwenzi ndi pamene amakhala ndi nthawi yochepa ndi banja lawo komanso bwenzi lake. Amasiya nthawi ya banja lawo ndi nthawi yabwino chifukwa tsopano ali ndi chibwenzi chatsopano." Mudzadziwa chigololo cha mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mukawona ochepa kunyumba.

Sakhala ndi inu, ana anu, ngakhale makolo awo. Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wayamba kukhala ndi nthawi yochepa ndi inu ndi banja lanu, ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za kusakhulupirika. Poyamba ankakonda kucheza nanu. Popeza sizili choncho, ndi bwino kunena kuti akubisirani zinazake.

8. Iwo salabadira chilichonse;

Kupanda ubwenzi, chisamaliro, nkhawa, ndi kusowa chikondi muubwenzi ndi zizindikiro zina zochenjeza za kusakhulupirika. Mnzako alibe nazo ntchito ngati mwadya bwino, mwagona bwino, mukukumana ndi mavuto kuntchito, kapena mwasemphana maganizo ndi bwenzi lanu lapamtima. Ali m'dziko lina ndi wokondedwa wawo watsopano.

Mukamakonda munthu, mumafuna kudziwa chilichonse chokhudza iye. Mukufuna kudziwa zomwe akuchita, zomwe adadya, komanso ngati anali ndi tsiku labwino. Ngati mwawona kuchepa kwakukulu kwa chikondi, chisamaliro, chikondi, ndi chikondi kuchokera ku SO yanu, ndiye kuti pali mwayi wabwino kuti gawo limodzi mwa magawo atatu alowa mu equation yanu ndipo mnzanu akukuberani.

9. Wobera mnzake amazemba mafunso ovuta

Pamene mukuganiza kuti mwakonzeka kudziwa za zolakwa za mnzanuyo, zindikirani ndandanda zawo zokayikitsa zomwe zasinthidwa ndikuyambitsa mafunso anu pang'onopang'ono osapangitsa kuti ziwoneke ngati mukufufuza. Ngati nthawi zonse amayesa kupeŵa mafunso anu ndikusintha mafunde a zokambirana, ndiye ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosaoneka bwino zomwe mnzanu akukunyengani.

Komanso, poyamba ngati ankakonda kukambirana za usiku wa atsikana awo kapena nthawi ya anyamata ku bar, sakanakondanso. Chifukwa sipamene amawononga nthawi yawo ngakhale ndi zomwe akhala akukuuzani. Funsani mafunso oyenera ndipo zokayikitsa zanu zidzatsimikiziridwa. Pali mwayi wabwino womwe mungakumane nawo kusefukira kwamalingaliro pakadali pano. Mutha kuthana ndi mavuto amisala mukakumana nawo. Ndicho chifukwa chake ndi bwino kulamulira maganizo anu.

Osawaumiriza kuti ayankhe mafunso anu chifukwa, pakadali pano, mukufunitsitsa kunena zoona ndipo atha kugwiritsa ntchito kusimidwa kumeneku m'malo mwawo ndikukutchani ngati wopusa. Mutha kukumana nawo mukapeza umboni wamphamvu wowatsutsa chifukwa achiwembu omwe amawongolera amatha kusintha nkhaniyo ndi dzanja lawo. Adzakuwotchani ngati simunakonzekere bwino ndi umboni

10. Palibenso ubwenzi wapamtima

Ndizowona kuti palibe ubale womwe umakhalabe womwewo zaka 1, 10, kapena 40 kutsika. Anthu amasintha akamakula komanso kusintha kwa ubale uliwonse. Koma zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti mumalekana pakapita nthawi. Pamene mukonda munthu, inu ndi mnzanuyo mumapanga mfundo pangani ubwenzi wozama wamalingaliro pamene ubale wanu ukupita patsogolo.

Ubwenzi sungathe kuyenda bwino ngati palibe mgwirizano wamaganizo pakati pa anthu awiri. Simungavomereze kukhala pachiwopsezo wina ndi mnzake, simudzakhulupirirana, ndipo simudzayamikirana. Kulumikizana kwamtima ndi komwe kumapangitsa kuti ubale ukhale wolimba.

Ngati mutapeza kuti mnzanuyo wakhala wosakhulupirika, musamachite zinthu mopitirira malire. Kuchepetsa malingaliro anu kungayambitse zovuta zambiri zamaganizidwe, monga nkhawa ndi kupsinjika maganizo, zomwe zingapangitse kuti zikhale zovuta kuti mupirire vutoli. Gulu la alangizi odziwa zambiri a Bonobology ndi a dinani kutali ngati mukufuna kupeza njira yothetsera izi. Kapena mutha kulowa nawo gulu lothandizira kuti muthane ndi vutoli.

Ena mwamagulu othandiza pa intaneti komanso osapezeka pa intaneti kwa okwatirana omwe aperekedwa ndi awa:

• Beyond Affairs
• Kupulumuka Kusakhulupirika
• Gulu Lothandizira Kusakhulupirika

Simunganene motsimikiza zimenezo mnzako akukunyengerera zozikidwa pa chizindikiro chimodzi chokha cha ambiri achinyengo. Muyenera kutsimikiza za chigololo chawo musanakumane nawo. Palibe chizindikiro choyenera chomwe chingatsimikizire kusakhulupirika kwake pokhapokha ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu achita cholakwika kuti awunike zovala zonyansa poyera. Koma posakhalitsa bodza lililonse limatuluka. Mumadziwa posachedwapa mukazindikira zizindikiro kuti mnzanu akubera.

Ibibazo

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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.