Zizindikiro 10 Zachinyengo Zothandizidwa ndi Katswiri

Kuti muzindikire zizindikiro za kubera, muyenera kutha kufotokozera mwatsatanetsatane kuchuluka kwa kubera. Ndi kusakhulupirika pamene munthu wina amene ali pachibwenzi apanga ubale wachikondi kapena kugwirizana kwapamtima ndi wina yemwe si bwenzi lake. Kusakhulupirika m'banja kapena pachibwenzi sikungokhudza wokondedwa wanu kugonana ndi wina. Kumakhalanso kusakhulupirika pamene ayamba kukondana kwambiri ndi munthu wina. Kuberedwa kungayambitse mavuto ambiri m’maganizo ndipo kukupitirizabe kukhala chimodzi mwa zifukwa zofala kwambiri za kulekana ndi kusudzulana masiku ano. 

Malinga ndi kafukufuku yemwe anachitika ndi Health Testing Centers pa anthu 441 omwe adatenga nawo gawo, zidapezeka kuti opitilira 46% omwe adafunsidwa paubwenzi wokhala ndi mkazi m'modzi adati adachitapo chibwenzi pomwe adadzipereka kwa wina. Komabe, nthawi zambiri timalephera kuzindikira mbendera zambiri zofiira ndi zizindikiro zochenjeza zachinyengo. Izi zili choncho chifukwa ife timakonda kukhala ndi malo akhungu zikafika kwa anthu omwe timawakonda ndipo munthu amene watsimikiza mtima kukunamiza adzakhala masitepe awiri patsogolo panu. Adzayesa zonse zomwe angathe kuti asunge zolakwa zawo.

Kuti titsimikize kuti simukusiyidwa mumdima kuti muthane ndi mabala a kusakhulupirika ndi kusweka mtima, tinalankhula ndi Utkarsh Khurana , katswiri wa zamaganizo, yemwe ndi mphunzitsi wa ubale ndi ubwenzi, kuti tipeze zizindikiro za chinyengo ndi chinyengo muubwenzi. Iye anati, "Zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za chinyengo cha mwamuna kapena mkazi monga kubwera kunyumba mochedwa, kubisa zikalata za kirediti kadi, kusiya zochitika za m'banja, kuthera nthawi yochulukirapo pa kudzikongoletsa ndi njira zina zodziwika bwino zotsimikizira kukayikira kwanu, koma sikokwanira kudziwa ngati ndi zoona. Mkazi wanu wonyenga akhoza kukhala ndi mlandu wonyenga koma akhoza kupitiriza kubisa zolakwa zake."

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Ngati mukuyang'ana zizindikiro zomwe mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akubera ndikuwona kuti mukuchita kusakhulupirika paubwenzi, ndiye tikuuzeni kuti simuli osiyana. Tikudziwa kuti kukaikira mwamuna kapena mkazi wako n’kopweteka kwambiri, koma ziŵerengero zikusonyeza kuti anthu ambiri ali ndi zibwenzi kunja kwa banja kuposa mmene mungaganizire.

Malinga ndi bungwe la American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, kafukufuku wa dziko lonse akusonyeza kuti akazi okwatiwa 15% ndi amuna okwatiwa 25% akhala akuchita zibwenzi kunja kwa banja. Chiwerengero cha anthu okwatiwa ndi chokwera ndi 20% ngati pali ubale wamaganizo ndi wogonana popanda kugonana.

Popeza nkhani za pa intaneti zikuchulukirachulukira, kuthekera kwa akazi akale kugwirizananso nthawi yomweyo, komanso chikondi chikuyambika kuntchito, poganiza kuti ubale wanu udzakhala wotetezeka 100% ku kusakhulupirika kungakhale kopusa. Ngakhale sitikunyalanyaza kufunika kwa kudalirana muubwenzi kapena kukuuzani kuti mukhale mnzanu wokayikitsa amene amafufuza za SO yawo mwachinsinsi, pali kusiyana pakati pa kudalirana ndi chikhulupiriro chabodza. Chomalizachi chingakupangitseni kunyalanyaza zizindikiro zoonekeratu za chinyengo muubwenzi, zomwe ndi zomwe tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kuzindikira.

Zizindikiro 10 Zapamwamba Zachinyengo

Ngati mnzanu akukunamizani kapena akubisa chinachake, zizindikiro za kusakhulupirika kwake zidzaonekera poyera. Mwinanso mungakhale wozunzidwa ndi kulakwa kwa maganizo. Koma chifukwa chakuti mumawakonda ndipo mumawakhulupirira mosazindikira, mwina mwanyalanyaza zizindikiro izi nthawi zonse. Komabe, ngati muli ndi kumverera kopusa m'mimba mwanu kokuuzani kuti china chake sichili bwino kapena mukudzifunsa nthawi zonse ngati mukungoopa kapena mukunamizidwa kwenikweni , yang'anani kuti muwone ngati mungathe kuwona zizindikiro za kulakwa kwa mnzanuyo:

1. Okondedwa anu ali ndi khalidwe lopewa

Utkarsh anati: “Anthu amene amapewa kukhala ndi chibwenzi nthawi zambiri amabera anzawo.” Anthu opewa chikondi amawononga zinthu zimene zingawalepheretse kukhala ndi maubwenzi abwino.

Malinga ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo , anthu omwe ali ndi njira zopewera kukondana ndi anthu omwe sakondana ndi chibwenzi ndipo motero amakhala ndi mwayi wochulukitsa kugonana ndikuchita chinyengo. Chifukwa chake ngati muli ndi mnzanu wosiyana maganizo yemwe wakhala akuchita zinthu zodzipatula kuposa kale lonse, mwina mungakhale mukukumana ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosaonekera bwino za chinyengo muubwenzi.

2. Kusamalira kwambiri maonekedwe awo

Wokondedwa wanu kumetedwa kwatsopano kapena kupita kokonzanso kwathunthu palibe chodetsa nkhawa. Nthawi zina anthu amalakalaka kusintha kuti adzimve bwino kapena mwina akukumana ndi vuto lapakati. Komabe, mnzawo wosakhulupirika amakhala wosamala kwambiri za momwe amawonekera. Adzapitirizabe kugula zovala zatsopano, kuphatikizapo zovala zamkati zatsopano. Ichinso ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosaoneka bwino zachinyengo. 

Ngati mnzanuyo sakuyesera kuti aziwoneka bwino kwa inu, muyenera kufunsa kuti, amavala ndani? Ngati izi zachitika kamodzi kapena kawiri, ndiye kuti mulibe chodetsa nkhawa. Koma ngati ichi chakhala chizoloŵezi, ndiye kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zachinyengo zomwe simuyenera kuphonya. 

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3. Adzakugulirani mphatso mopambanitsa

Utkarsh akuti, "Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino zachinyengo. Ngati wokondedwa wanu nthawi zambiri amakudabwitsani ndi mphatso zamtengo wapatali, ndiye kuti akuyesera kubwezera zolakwa zawo. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zachilendo za mnzanu wachinyengo muubwenzi."

Kugula mphatso zodula kwambiri ndi njira yawo yobwezera chilichonse chomwe adachita kumbuyo kwanu. Ena amamva chisoni kwambiri akamanyalanyaza banja lawo. Ndicho chifukwa chake mnzanu wonyenga amachita zonse zomwe angathe kuti akusokonezeni. Ikhozanso kukhala njira yoti akusokonezeni ndi fungo lawo ndikubisa zolakwa zawo. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe mnzanuyo akugona ndi wina . Muyenera kusamala kwambiri nthawi ngati izi.

4. Iwo ndi wapamwamba zoteteza za zipangizo zawo

Mnzanu wochita zachinyengo amateteza kwambiri zida zake zamagetsi, kuphatikizapo mafoni am'manja, ma iPad, ndi ma laputopu. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zofiira komanso chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza zachinyengo muubwenzi zomwe simuyenera kuzinyalanyaza. Akamakusiyani kukhudza foni yawo? Mwina chifukwa amadziwa kuti ndiyo njira yosavuta yomwe munthu wochita zachinyengo angagwidwe nayo.

Ngakhale kuti mnzanuyo ali ndi ufulu wachinsinsi ndipo simuyenera kumangoyang'ana pa zipangizo zawo (ngati mutero, zimasonyeza kuti pali vuto lalikulu paubwenzi), kukayikira kwawo kusiya zida zawo kapena kuzisiya mosasamala pafupi ndi inu kumasonyeza kuti akubisirani chinachake. Ndipo pali mwayi wabwino kuti china chake ndi mnzake wapamtima m'moyo wawo.

Ngati mwawona kuti ali oipitsitsa akafika pazida zawo, nazi zina zomwe muyenera kuziganizira ndi izi:

• Kusintha mawu achinsinsi nthawi zonse
• Kutseka malo awo osungiramo zinthu 
• Kugwiritsa ntchito foni yachinsinsi
• Foni yawo idzakhala yotanganidwa nthawi yachilendo
• Msakatuli wawo mbiri idzakhala yoyera
• Sadzakulolani kuti muwerenge mameseji awo 
• Kukhala ndi mbiri zabodza pama media ochezera komanso mapulogalamu azibwenzi 

5. Kusintha kwa libido

Kugonana ndikofunikira mu ubale uliwonse wachikondi. Ngati mnzanuyo safuna kukhala pachibwenzi ndi inu pa kuyitanidwa kwanu kangapo, ndiye kuti ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti mnzanuyo sakhala wokhulupirika. Ngakhale mutatha kugonana, mwina ndi chifukwa chakuti munayambitsa. Wobera mnzake sangafune kuyambitsa kugonana.

Kumbali ina, mungaone kusintha kwakukulu kwa momwe amachitira zinthu panthawi yomwe muli pachibwenzi. Mnzanu wosakhulupirika amene akuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu wina angafune nthawi zina kuyesa zinthu zatsopano m'chipinda chogona chifukwa cha chilakolako chawo chobwerera m'mbuyo komanso chilakolako chofuna kuchita bwino pabedi. Mulimonsemo, kusintha kulikonse kosayembekezereka komanso kwadzidzidzi kwa chilakolako chawo kungakhale chizindikiro cha kusakhulupirika.

6. Nthawi zonse amakuchitirani ndewu

Kukangana pakati pa anthu okwatirana n’kwachibadwa. Iwo amatsutsana ndiyeno amavomereza kuti asagwirizane nazo. Kenako amapsopsonana ndi kupangana. Ndi chizungulire banja lirilonse lidazolowera. Kumenyana uku kungakhale chifukwa cha chirichonse. Wokondedwayo akhoza kupanikizika kuntchito kapena kuthana ndi mavuto a m'banja kapena chifukwa cha zovuta zanu ndi mikangano yanu. Komabe, pamene mnzako akubera mnzake, mikhalidwe ya ndewu imeneyi imasinthanso. Amakhala obwerezabwereza ndipo nthawi zambiri popanda chifukwa chilichonse.

Pamene simunawakhumudwitse kapena kuwakhumudwitsa, n’chifukwa chiyani akukuchititsani kupirira mkwiyo ndi kukhumudwa kwawo? Mwina, ndi mlandu wobera womwe sangathe kuthana nawo kapena amangokhala osasangalala muubwenzi komanso kukwiya chifukwa cholephera kukhala ndi bwenzi lawo lochita chibwenzi kumawapangitsa kukalipira.

Kapena atha kukhala ovuta kugwirizanitsa maubwenzi awiri, ndipo inu, monga bwenzi lawo loyamba, mumawona mbali yawo yoipa. N’zoona kuti sangawononge fano lawo pamaso pa mnzawo watsopanoyo chifukwa chibwenzicho n’chatsopano ndipo safuna kuwawopseza potulutsa mkwiyo wawo pa iwo. 

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7. Perekani nthawi yochepa ku ubale wawo ndi banja

Utkarsh akufotokoza kuti, "Chimodzi mwazizindikiro zosonyeza kuti mnzanuyo sakhala wokhulupirika pachibwenzi ndi pamene amakhala ndi nthawi yochepa ndi banja lawo komanso bwenzi lake. Amasiya nthawi ya banja lawo ndi nthawi yabwino chifukwa tsopano ali ndi chibwenzi chatsopano." Mudzadziwa chigololo cha mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mukawona ochepa kunyumba.

Sakhala ndi inu, ana anu, ngakhale makolo awo. Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wayamba kukhala ndi nthawi yochepa ndi inu ndi banja lanu, ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za kusakhulupirika. Poyamba ankakonda kucheza nanu. Popeza sizili choncho, ndi bwino kunena kuti akubisirani zinazake.

8. Iwo salabadira chilichonse;

Kusowa chikondi, chisamaliro, nkhawa, komanso kusowa chikondi muubwenzi ndi zizindikiro zina zochenjeza za kusakhulupirika. Mnzanu sakusamala ngati mwadya bwino, mwagona bwino, mukukumana ndi mavuto kuntchito, kapena mwasemphana maganizo ndi mnzanu wapamtima. Ali m'dziko lina ndi wokondedwa wawo watsopano.

Mukamakonda munthu, mumafuna kudziwa chilichonse chokhudza iye. Mukufuna kudziwa zomwe akuchita, zomwe adadya, komanso ngati anali ndi tsiku labwino. Ngati mwawona kuchepa kwakukulu kwa chikondi, chisamaliro, chikondi, ndi chikondi kuchokera ku SO yanu, ndiye kuti pali mwayi wabwino kuti gawo limodzi mwa magawo atatu alowa mu equation yanu ndipo mnzanu akukuberani.

9. Wobera mnzake amazemba mafunso ovuta

Pamene mukuganiza kuti mwakonzeka kudziwa za zolakwa za mnzanuyo, zindikirani ndandanda zawo zokayikitsa zomwe zasinthidwa ndikuyambitsa mafunso anu pang'onopang'ono osapangitsa kuti ziwoneke ngati mukufufuza. Ngati nthawi zonse amayesa kupeŵa mafunso anu ndikusintha mafunde a zokambirana, ndiye ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosaoneka bwino zomwe mnzanu akukunyengani.

Komanso, kale ngati akanakonda kulankhula za usiku wa atsikana awo kapena nthawi ya anyamata ku bala, sakanakondanso. Chifukwa si komwe akukhala nthawi yawo koma ndi zomwe akhala akukuuzani. Funsani mafunso oyenera ndipo zomwe mukukayikira zidzatsimikizika. Pali mwayi waukulu kuti mungakumane ndi mavuto ambiri pakali pano. Mutha kuthana ndi mavuto amisala mukakumana nawo. Ndicho chifukwa chake ndibwino kulamulira malingaliro anu.

Osawaumiriza kuti ayankhe mafunso anu chifukwa, pakadali pano, mukufunitsitsa kunena zoona ndipo atha kugwiritsa ntchito kusimidwa kumeneku m'malo mwawo ndikukutchani ngati wopusa. Mutha kukumana nawo mukapeza umboni wamphamvu wowatsutsa chifukwa achiwembu omwe amawongolera amatha kusintha nkhaniyo ndi dzanja lawo. Adzakuwotchani ngati simunakonzekere bwino ndi umboni

10. Palibenso ubwenzi wapamtima

Ndi zoona kuti palibe ubale womwe umakhalabe womwewo zaka 1, 10, kapena 40 pambuyo pake. Anthu amasintha akamakula komanso momwe ubale uliwonse umasinthira. Koma sizikutanthauza kuti mumayamba kupatukana pakapita nthawi. Mukakonda munthu wina, inu ndi mnzanuyo mumayesetsa kuti mupange ubale wapamtima kwambiri pamene ubale wanu ukupita patsogolo.

Ubwenzi sungathe kuyenda bwino ngati palibe mgwirizano wamaganizo pakati pa anthu awiri. Simungavomereze kukhala pachiwopsezo wina ndi mnzake, simudzakhulupirirana, ndipo simudzayamikirana. Kulumikizana kwamtima ndi komwe kumapangitsa kuti ubale ukhale wolimba.

Ngati mwapeza kuti mnzanu wachita zosakhulupirika, musabise chilichonse ndi kudzikakamiza kwambiri ndi malingaliro oipa. Kubisa malingaliro anu kungayambitse mavuto ambiri azaumoyo, monga nkhawa ndi kuvutika maganizo, zomwe zingakupangitseni kuti muvutike kuthana ndi vutoli. Gulu la alangizi odziwa bwino ntchito a Bonobology lili pafupi ngati mukufuna kupeza njira yotulukira. Kapena mutha kulowa nawo gulu lothandizira kuti muthane ndi vutoli.

Ena mwamagulu othandiza pa intaneti komanso osapezeka pa intaneti kwa okwatirana omwe aperekedwa ndi awa:

• Beyond Affairs
• Kupulumuka Kusakhulupirika
• Gulu Lothandizira Kusakhulupirika

Simunganene motsimikiza kuti mnzanu akukunamizani chifukwa cha chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zambiri za anthu onyenga. Muyenera kutsimikiza za chigololo chawo musanakumane nawo. Palibe chizindikiro chilichonse chomwe chingatsimikizire kusakhulupirika kwake pokhapokha ngati mnzanuyo atalakwitsa powumitsa zovala zonyansa poyera. Koma posachedwa kapena mtsogolo bodza lililonse limatuluka. Mumadziwa posachedwa mukazindikira zizindikiro zakuti mnzanuyo akunamizani.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.