Maupangiri Othandizira Kusintha Mwamalingaliro Kuti Musinthe Maubwenzi Anu

Malangizo pa Ubwenzi | | , Counselling Psychologist
Kusinthidwa pa: October 30, 2024
kukhazikika kwamalingaliro
Kufalitsa chikondi

Kodi mudakhalapo ndi zomwe mudamvapo nyimbo ndikumva kulumikizana nthawi yomweyo? Kukhazikika kwamalingaliro kwa izo? Monga kuti nyimboyo inapangidwira inu. Mawu aliwonse a nyimboyo akuuza dziko momwe mukumvera? Zimapanga mphindi yolumikizana komanso kuwongolera malingaliro komwe mumalumikizana ndi zomwe mukumvera, ndikupanga nkhani yogawana.

Ndikumverera kwabwino, sichoncho? Mumamva kuwonedwa, kumva, ndi kumvetsetsa. Ndi mphindi yogawana malingaliro amkati. Kodi ndi pati pomwe timaona kufunika kofanana ndi kutengeka maganizo kwathu chimodzimodzi? Munaganiza bwino. Mu maubale. Kufunika kwa kukhazikika kwamalingaliro kumakhalapo mu ubale uliwonse.

Mwana wakhanda amagawana malingaliro ndi makolo awo zomwe ndizofunikira kuti mwanayo akhalebe ndi moyo. Momwemonso, ndikofunikira kupulumuka kwa ubale uliwonse, makamaka wachikondi. Koma kodi timatanthawuza chiyani kwenikweni tikamanena za kutengeka maganizo? Ndipo ngati kuli kofunikira kuti ubale uliwonse upitirire, kodi timaukulitsa ndi kuuchita motani? Chabwino, tiyeni tifufuze.

Kodi Kusinthasintha Kwamalingaliro mu Maubwenzi Ndi Chiyani?

Kuyanjana ndikuchitapo kanthu komwe timakhala nako kwa munthu wina ndi njira yomwe timapanga ubale. Kukhazikika muubwenzi kumatanthauza kutha kuzindikira momwe munthu akumvera ndikuyankha moyenera.

Ife akatswiri a zamaganizo timakonda kufotokoza lingaliro ili mu chithandizo chamaganizo chothandizira ana ndi ana mofanana ndi kholo ndi mwana. Makanda ali ndi zosowa zosiyanasiyana zamaganizo monga njala, kusapeza bwino, ndi kugona, komabe, sangathe kufotokoza izi. Osamalira ana amakhala ndi malingaliro okwanira kuti azindikire zomwe akufunikira.

Makolo nthawi zambiri amapeza / kuchita zomwe mwana wawo amafunikira, ngakhale kusowa kwa chilankhulo kumakhala cholepheretsa. Amakhala okhudzidwa kwambiri moti amatha kusiyanitsa kulira kwakuti “ndili ndi njala” ndi kulira kwakuti “Ndikufuna kugona”. Kutha kuzindikira ndi kuyesetsa kukwaniritsa zosowa izi ndikukhazikika kwamalingaliro.

Izi ndizofunikira kwambiri muubwenzi wachikondi , komwe kusinthasintha kwa malingaliro kumalimbitsa malingaliro a kudalirana, chitetezo, ndi ubwenzi. Ubwenzi wogwirizana ndi malingaliro umagwira ntchito ngati gulu, ndi kulankhulana kogwira mtima, komanso kuthekera kothetsa mikangano mwanjira yabwino.

Gawo limodzi la kukhudzidwa kwamalingaliro ndikumva kuwonedwa ndikumveka, gawo lina lalikulu ndikuwonetsetsa, kulumikizana, komanso kupezeka. Kayimbidwe kake ndi kosalala kotero kuti okondedwa amatha kuzindikira zakukhosi ndi zosowa za mnzake ndikuchita zinthu molingana.

Mia, yemwe wakhala paubwenzi kwa nthaŵi yaitali ndi bwenzi lake Chase, anauza mnzakeyo kuti: “Chase amangondipeza, amadziŵa mmene ndingamverere chinachake ndiyeno n’kumachita zinthu mogwirizana ndi zimenezo. Uku ndi kukhazikika kwamalingaliro kwa maanja momwe zimakhalira, pomwe malingaliro, malingaliro, ndi machitidwe - zonse zitatu - zimakhudzidwa.

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Anthu ena ndi achibadwidwe kukhala ogwirizana ndi ena. Amatha kutenga zidziwitso zobisika ngakhale m'malo odzaza anthu ndipo amadziwa momwe aliyense akumvera. Zomwe takumana nazo paubwana wathu komanso ubale ndi wotisamalira zimatithandiza kukulitsa lusoli. Koma pamafunikabe kuchita. Suli ngati mwala, uli ngati mkate, uyenera kupangidwa ndi kukonzedwanso nthawi zonse.

Izi zikutanthawuzanso kuti kutengeka maganizo kungaphunziridwe ngakhale munthu wamkulu. Zimangotengera kuchita ndi kusasinthasintha. Ngati muli osokonekera m'malingaliro, mutha kumasula malingaliro (kutengera zomwe zili m'maganizo mwanu kwa ena) molumikizana, monga momwe timaphunzirira luso lina lililonse. Timaphunzira ndi kuchotsa zikhulupiliro ndi zizolowezi nthawi zonse.

Ngati mukufuna kulumikizana kozama , pansipa pali malangizo ndi masewera olimbitsa thupi omwe mungachite kuti muphunzire ndikuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi muubwenzi kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yokwanira.


1. Dziwani zomwe mukufuna komanso momwe mukumvera


Taphunzira pamene tikukula pakati pa anthu kuti titseke maganizo athu - malingaliro ambiri kapena maganizo si chinthu chabwino. Choncho, timasiya kusamala kwambiri za mmene tikumvera ndipo timasiya kuganiziranso mmene ena akumvera. Timawaona kuti ndi ochititsa chidwi kapena ofooka.

Chabwino, tadyetsedwa bodza. Kudziwa zomwe mukumva kumakupangitsani kukhala munthu wofunda komanso kumawonjezera kudzikhutiritsa, ndipo zimenezo n'zamphamvu. Kudzisamalira nokha kumapatsa mpata wolumikizana ndi malingaliro a ena ndikupanga maubwenzi akuya auzimu . Kumakupatsani mpata wozindikira malingaliro a ena ngati osiyana ndi anu, motero, kumachepetsa kuwonetsa kwa malingaliro anu monga momwe tidanenera.

Nthawi zonse mukamakhudzidwa ndi chinthu, chotsani gudumu lanu ndikuzindikira momwe mukumvera. Mwina mukumva kupsa mtima, chisoni, chimwemwe, kapena zina. Dzipatseni chilolezo kuti mumve malingaliro amenewo ndikuvomera ngati chidziwitso chenicheni komanso champhamvu pazomwe zikuchitika mkati mwanu. Landirani malingaliro anu onse, onse ndi ovomerezeka.

Mwambi wina wotchuka, umene nthaŵi zambiri umagwiritsidwa ntchito pochiza maganizo, umati: “Mfungulo yomvetsetsa ena ndiyo kudzimvetsetsa kaye.”

2. Tsimikizirani mmene akumvera

Aliyense amafuna kuti malingaliro ake atsimikizidwe, makamaka ndi wokondedwa wake kuti amve kukhala otetezeka muubwenzi . Kutsimikizira malingaliro a mnzanu kumamulimbikitsa kuti afotokoze bwino zomwe akuganiza. Kugwiritsa ntchito mawu otsimikizira ndikofunikira kwambiri chifukwa kumapangitsa mnzanuyo kumva kuti akuonedwa komanso kumvedwa. Kungomvetsera mwachidwi sikokwanira, muyeneranso kulimbikitsa mnzanuyo.

Pali kusiyana ngakhale. Mawu anu otsimikizira sikuyenera kutsimikizira momwe akuchitira kapena momwe amachitira. Kunena zoona, kuona mtima n’kofunika kwambiri kuti munthu azitha kusintha maganizo. Simumamuuza mnzanu zomwe akufuna kumva nthawi zonse. Komabe, mutha kuwatsimikizirabe popanda kutsimikizira zomwe simukugwirizana nazo, mwa kunena mawu ngati "Ndikumva", "Ndikuyamika mukundiuza malingaliro anu", ndi mawu ena ofanana.

Kusakhazikika kumabweretsa kusamvetsetsana komwe pamapeto pake kumabweretsa mkwiyo, mkwiyo, ndi kukayikira za ubale . Kusakhazikika ndi kunyalanyaza malingaliro a mnzanu. Kumapangitsa mnzanuyo kumva kuti malingaliro ake ndi osavomerezeka, osafunikira, komanso olakwika. Izi zingayambitsenso kusakhazikika mu ubale. Kumbukirani, yesetsani kumvetsetsa musanafune kumvetsetsedwa!

3. Pitirizani kulankhulana moona mtima komanso momasuka

Kukhala woona mtima, momveka bwino, komanso womasuka polankhulana ndi mnzanu zimasonyeza zowona. Kumatsogolera ku kumvetsetsana ndi kulemekezana ngakhale kusiyana kwa malingaliro, zokonda, ndi zosowa. Kulankhulana momasuka sikutheka popanda kukambirana moona mtima. Zimakuthandizani kuti mumvetse bwino mnzanuyo komanso kuti mukhale ogwirizana nawo. Zithandizanso onse awiri kuti apewe kusamvana.

Kulankhulana sikutanthauza kungolankhula, kumaphatikizaponso kumvetsera mwachidwi komanso moganizira bwino. Gwiritsani ntchito mwayi womwe umabwera ndi kukambirana kuti mumvetsetse ndikuyankhulana bwino ndi mnzanu m'malo mopanga malo omwe mumagwiritsa ntchito kungonena maganizo anu. Sinthani chidwi chanu pa iwo. Nthawi zonse mutha kutenga nthawi yanu kuyankha mukangomva mnzanuyo.

Kumvetsera mwachidwi ndi mwachidwi ndi njira yomvetsetsa momwe wokondedwa wanu akumvera komanso komwe akuchokera. Mukawapatsa chidwi chanu chonse, nonse mukulimbikitsidwa kuti mufufuze momwe mnzanuyo akumvera ndipo akhoza kukutsegulirani zambiri, zomwe ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri la mgwirizano wamalingaliro.

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4. Osamangoganiza, funsani

Ngati nthawi ina iliyonse mukamalankhulana moona mtima, mumamva ngati simukumvetsa zomwe akunena kapena komwe akuchokera, funsani mafunso ambiri momwe mungathere kuti mumveketse. Izi zimathandiza kuti zinthu zimveke bwino pakati pa nonse. Ngati mnzanuyo sakugawana, mwina kufunsa mafunso mozungulira kungawathandize kufotokoza bwino.

Ngati mwasokonezeka ndi zomwe adachita kapena simukudziwa kuti ali ndi mutu wotani, mufunseni ndipo khalani womvetsera wabwino . Simungathe kuwerenga malingaliro ndipo ndikofunikira kuti mnzanu akukumbutseni zimenezo. Zimathandizanso mnzanu kumva kuti akuwoneka ndikulimbikitsidwa kufotokoza. Ichi ndi gawo lalikulu la kusinthasintha kwa malingaliro. Ndikofunikira kuti musaganize kuti mukudziwa zomwe mnzanuyo akumva.

Akayamba kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo, afunseni mafunso kuti amveketse ndikuzindikira zakukhosi kwawo, ngati kuli kofunikira. Kumbukirani kuti musasokoneze malingaliro awo pamene mukuchita chidwi. Kumbukirani kuti malingaliro anu odzitchinjiriza amawonekera chifukwa cha momwe mumaonera zinthu.


5. Samalirani zomwe amalankhula mosalankhula


Kulankhulana ndi pakamwa komanso mwapakamwa, ndipo ngakhale kuti kugwirizana kwamaganizo kumakhudzana kwambiri ndi kulankhulana pakamwa, mawu osalankhula amathandizanso kwambiri. Wokondedwa wanu sangalankhule chilichonse chomwe akukumana nacho, koma amatha kulankhulana mosagwiritsa ntchito mawu.

Kukhala wogwirizana ndi mnzanu m'maganizo kumatanthauza kuti mukugwirizana ndi zizindikiro za mnzanu zomwe sizikutanthauza mawu, kotero kuti mutha kuzindikira pamene chinachake chikuchitika ngakhale asananene chilichonse. Zizindikiro zosakhudzana ndi mawu zimasiyana kwa aliyense. Koma kusamala kaimidwe ka thupi, mawonekedwe a nkhope, ndi kuchuluka kwa mphamvu kungakuthandizeni kuzindikira zomwe mnzanuyo akumva ngakhale atanena mokweza. Zingakuthandizeninso kupewa zolakwika polankhulana muubwenzi.

Ngati muwona kuti chinachake chalakwika ndi mnzanuyo, onetsetsani kuti muwafunse za izo kuti amvetse zomwe akumva.
Timaphunzira zambiri kuchokera ku mawu osagwiritsa ntchito mawu ndipo ndi chithandizo chachikulu cholumikizira madontho koma sangakupatseni chithunzi chonse. Wokondedwa wanu ndi inu muyenerabe kufotokoza pamene nonse muli. Chikondi chokhwima ndi pamene mukufuna chinachake, mumapempha mwachindunji. Kulankhulana ndi chilichonse.

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6. Sungani mikangano yanu kukhala yabwino


Mikangano ndi yosapeweka muubwenzi. Koma mukakhala nawo, onetsetsani kuti ali athanzi. Kodi mkangano wabwino ndi chiyani? Mkangano wathanzi ndi pamene muzindikira kuti mikangano sikutanthauza kuti pali chinachake 'cholakwika', ndipo kuti ndi zachibadwa komanso zachibadwa kukhala nazo. Mukatenga masitepe okhazikika kuti mukonze kuphulika ndi kuthetsa mikangano kubweretsa nazo, ndi zathanzi.

Mukakhala ndi kufunika kodziteteza, kudzudzula, kuchita zinthu mwachipongwe, kapena mwala kuti mutsimikizire mfundo yanu, kugwirizana pa chibwenzi sikutheka. Kuti mikangano ikhale yathanzi, muyenera kuzindikira zomwe zikuyambitsa zanu. Iwo ndi mtundu wa zokondoweza zomwe zimachotsa malingaliro athu. Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa zomwe zimakuyambitsani kuti muthe kuzifotokoza kwa wokondedwa wanu.

Kulankhula zakukhosi kwanu, kukulitsa chiyamikiro, kutenga udindo, ndi kudzitonthoza nokha kungakhale njira yothetsera mikangano yosayenera, kukuthandizani nonse kukhala ogwirizana kwambiri m’maganizo.


7. Yesetsani kumvera ena chisoni

Chisoni mu maubwenzi ndi pamene mumamva chimodzimodzi kapena zofanana ndi mnzanuyo. Mwachitsanzo, mumamva chisoni pamene mnzanuyo ali wachisoni kapena mukusangalala chifukwa chakuti mnzanuyo ali wokondwa. Ngakhale kuli kofunika kukhala wachifundo muzolumikizana zilizonse zomwe muli nazo, ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti mukhale ndi malingaliro okhudzana ndi chibwenzi.

Ngakhale kuti kumvera chisoni sikungokhala kumvera chisoni, koma ndi gawo lalikulu la izi. Kudziyika mumkhalidwe wawo, kulankhula za momwe akumvera, kusaweruza kwanu, kutenga udindo muubwenzi , ndi kukhalapo pamene mnzanuyo akufunika thandizo, ndi njira zina zomwe mungamumverere bwino mnzanuyo.

Mwanjira iyi, mumadziwitsa mnzanuyo kuti mumavomereza ndikumvetsetsa zomwe akumva. Kuti amawaona ndi kuti akhoza kukukhulupirirani, zomwe ndi zofunika kwambiri kuti mukhale ndi maganizo.

Pamene mukuchita chifundo, kukhala ndi maganizo anu, ndikusunga mikangano kukhala yabwino, ndikofunikira kulimbikitsa wokondedwa wanu kuti achite chimodzimodzi. Ngakhale simungathe kuchita izi nthawi yomweyo, ndikofunikira kuti mudzipatse nokha ndi mnzanuyo malo mukafuna nthawi yoti musinthe malingaliro anu. Izi zidzakupangitsani inu nonse kuthana ndi zovuta limodzi ndikukhala ogwirizana ngati banja.

Mukayamba kuyanjana bwino, mumayambanso kukhala ndi luso lopanga zisankho zabwino paubwenzi. Mumayamba kumvetsetsa kuti mnzanuyo alibe mphamvu zoti akupangitseni kumva mwanjira inayake, ndipo mosiyana ndi zimenezo, simukuyang'ananso ubale wanu kudzera mu malingaliro ndi malingaliro anu okha kapena kupangitsa mnzanuyo kukhala ngati chophimba cha zomwe mukuyembekezera. Zimathandizanso kuzindikira zomwe mukufuna muubwenzi.

Kutengeka maganizo mu maubwenzi okondana ndi kuona ndi kunyamula wokondedwa wanu kupyolera mu malingaliro awo onse, kaya zabwino kapena zoipa. Kukhala thanthwe kwa wina ndi mzake nthawi zovuta, monga kukwezana pamwamba pa nthawi zabwino, zidzabweretsa nonse inu pafupi. Kukhazikika kwamalingaliro kumawongolera mbali zonse za ubale ndikuwusinthadi.

Zingawoneke zovuta kuganiza kuti tingaphunzire ndikukumbukira kugwirizana ndi maubwenzi athu akuluakulu ngati sitinali ndi malingaliro abwino tili ana zomwe zingayambitsenso nkhawa yopatukana muubwenzi . Koma sayansi ya ubongo imatiuza kuti ubongo wathu uli ndi maukonde oti timvere ena chifundo kudzera mu ma neuron agalasi. Ndipo kotero tikhoza kuwona kuyanjana ngati kuthekera kudutsa njira zakale zodzitetezera ndi kuthana ndi mavuto kuti tipeze luso lathu lachilengedwe lomvera ena chisoni.

Ibibazo

1. Kodi ndingatani kuti ndigwirizane ndi wokondedwa wanga?

Mungathe kukhala wogwirizana ndi mnzanuyo pochita zolimbitsa thupi monga kukhudzana ndi malingaliro anu ndi zosowa zanu, kutsimikizira malingaliro awo, kukambirana moona mtima ndi momasuka, kukhala ndi mikangano yabwino, kuwerenga zomwe sakunena, kuwafunsa mafunso okhudza momwe akumvera, komanso kusonyeza chifundo. 

Kuchita zonsezi kuwonetsetsa kuti ndinu othandizana wina ndi mzake pokhala mbali ya wina ndi mzake pa nthawi yovuta komanso yovuta. Izi zidzapangitsanso kukhala kosavuta kukhala ogwirizana ndi wina ndi mnzake. 

2. Kodi kutengeka maganizo kumawoneka bwanji?

Kuyang'ana m'maganizo kwa maanja kumawoneka ngati kuwona, kumvetsetsa, ndi kuvomereza momwe wokondedwa wanu akumvera. Zitha kuwoneka ngati lingaliro lovuta koma sichinthu chochulukirapo kuposa kuchitapo kanthu kuti mugwirizane ndi malingaliro a mnzanuyo. Zikuwoneka ngati mgwirizano, momwe mtsinjewo umadutsa m'matanthwe mogwirizana. Monga kuvina pamoto komwe kumayambitsa ubwenzi, kumawoneka wokongola. 

Mukamachita khama kuti mumvetse mmene mnzanu akumvera, mumayamba kumukonda kwambiri. Ndi kulimba mtima kulowa m'dziko lamalingaliro ndi bwenzi lathu.

3. Kodi zitsanzo za kukhazikika maganizo ndi ziti?

Pamene mukugwedezeka pabedi lanu, osagona, ndipo mnzanuyo amatenga izo ndikukufunsani zomwe zinachitika, ndiko kutengeka maganizo. Pamene khanda likulira, ndipo womusamalira mwadzidzidzi azindikira kuti afunikira kusintha matewera a mwanayo, ndiko kukhazikika maganizo. Mnzako akapanda kukuimbirani foni pambuyo pa prom yake ndipo mukudziwa kuti ndizosiyana ndi zake, mumamuimbira foni chifukwa mukudziwa kuti pali chinachake. Kumeneko ndiko kukhazikika maganizo.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.




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