Kodi Kusakhulupirika kwa Ana Kumakhala ndi Zotsatira Zotani Kwa Nthawi Yaitali?

Kusakhulupirika ndi chinthu chomvetsa chisoni, osati kwa wokondedwa woperekedwayo komanso kwa ana omwe amangidwa momvetsa chisoni. Mavuto a maganizo amene makolo amakumana nawo chifukwa cha chinyengo amasokoneza maganizo a anthu akadzakula. Zotsatira zamaganizo za nthawi yaitali za kusakhulupirika kwa ana nzosapeŵeka, ngakhale kuti sangadziwonetsere mwamsanga. 

Wokamba nkhani zolimbikitsa komanso wolemba Steve Maraboli adati, "Zomwe timalimbikitsa ana athu zidzakhala maziko omwe amapangira tsogolo lawo." Ana ndi aang'ono, otengeka, komanso amalimbikitsa dziko. Pamene kusakhulupirika kumawaika ku kusaona mtima ndi kusakhulupirika, maziko a kumvetsetsa kwawo amagwedezeka kotheratu. 

Kawonedwe kawo ka dziko lapansi kasokonezedwa ndipo amalimbana ndi kupanga ndi kulimbikitsa kulumikizana. Koma chiwonongekocho chimafika bwanji? Nanga tingatani kuti tithandize mwana amene waona kusakhulupirika m’banja?

Kodi Kusakhulupirika Kumatanthauza Chiyani?

Kusakhulupirika kumaphatikizapo kunyenga, chigololo, ndi kusakhulupirika kwa mnzako kuti upeze chikondi, ubwenzi, ndi kugonana kwina kulikonse. Munthu akhoza kubera theka lawo labwino m'njira zambiri; kuima usiku umodzi, mgwirizano wopanda zingwe, kusakhulupirika m’maganizo ndi/kapena pazachuma, kuwonjezera pa chibwenzi chotheratu. 

Pali zifukwa zingapo zomwe zingapangitse munthu kubera. Angakhale osakhutitsidwa muubwenzi, akusowa mtundu wina wa chisangalalo, kapena angakhale ayamba kukondana ndi munthu wina. Mosasamala kanthu za zifukwa, zotsatira za kusakhulupirika ndizowononga kwambiri. Pankhani ya zibwenzi, zimadzetsa kusweka mtima ndi chisoni chachikulu… koma zotsatira zake zimakhala zazikulu ngati wina wachita chigololo m’banja.

Mwamuna kapena mkazi amene ali pabanja akabera, samangovulaza mnzawo komanso ana awo. Ana athu amakonda kutiona ngati mabanja osangalala omwe tikukhala m'dziko laling'ono lolota kumene palibe chomwe chingasokonezeke. Akazindikira adakali aang’ono kuti makolo awo akhoza kukhumudwitsana, amakhumudwa kwambiri. Nthawi yayitali zotsatira zamaganizo za kusakhulupirika ndi zisonkhezero zamphamvu zimene zimasankha njira ya moyo wa mwanayo. 

Ngati ndinu kholo mukuyang'ana kuti muwone bwino momwe zinthu ziliri kapena munthu wamkulu yemwe akulimbanabe ndi zotsatira za chigololo zomwe munakumana nazo muli mwana, muli pamalo oyenera. Timvetsetsa momwe danga lamalingaliro la mwana limakhudzidwira kholo likamanyenga mnzake.

Zotsatira Za Nthawi Yaitali Za Kusakhulupirika Kwa Ana

Takonza mndandanda wa zotsatira 7 za kusakhulupirika kwa ana. Koma apa pali chomwe chiri chapadera; Bonobology idaganiza zowulula mayankho ndi malingaliro anthawi yeniyeni pankhaniyi. Tinalemba mafunso awa pa gulu la Facebook lotchedwa, 'Tiyeni Tikambirane za Kusakhulupirika': Kodi kusakhulupirika kwa makolo kumakhudza bwanji maganizo a ana awo? Kodi pali njira zina zothandiza? 

Owerenga athu ambiri adachita chidwi ndi zomwe adalemba - ena potengera zomwe adakumana nazo, ena pazowonera, pomwe ena chifukwa chanzeru. Zolozerazi ziyenera kukupatsani lingaliro lathunthu la momwe chibwenzi chimakhudzira banja. Ana amene awonapo kholo lachinyengo mosakayika angadutse chimodzi kapena zingapo mwazotsatira zakusakhulupirika kwanthaŵi yaitali. 

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1. Ana amaphunzira 'zomwe sayenera kuchita'

Tiyeni tiyambe ndi mfundo yabwino. Zotsatira zamaganizo za nthawi yayitali za kusakhulupirika sizingagawidwe kukhala zakuda ndi zoyera. Woŵerenga wathu, Andy Singh, anati: “Ana akakumana ndi chigololo adakali aang’ono, angaphunzire ‘zomwe sayenera kuchita.’ Popeza apyola m’mavuto aakulu, nkhaŵa, ndi kupsinjika maganizo, adzayesetsa kutetezera ana awo kuchimenecho.

Chifukwa chake, kusakhulupirika kwa makolo kungawapangitse kutsimikiza mtima kukhalabe okhulupirika kwa mnzawoyo. Lingaliro limeneli likusonyeza kuti ana ochokera m’mabanja osweka kapena mabanja opanda chimwemwe adzapeŵa zolakwa za unansi zimene makolo awo anapanga. Kapenanso, kufunitsitsa kuti ukwati usasokonekera kungachititse anthu achikulirewa kukhala ndi chikondi chopitirira malire. Angavutike kulemba malire pofuna kuti ubwenziwo ukhalebe wolimba. 

Ndikofunika kukumbukira kuti palibe njira zofananira kapena zofanana pamayankhidwe. Sitingathe kulosera zomwe zidzachitike mwana wanu akadzazindikira kuti munabera. Ndi kwambiri subjective ndi sachedwa zinthu zina. Koma kuthekera konenedwa ndi Andy ndikotsutsana kwambiri pamndandandawu. 

2. Kusakhazikika m'banja - Zotsatira za kusakhulupirika kwa ana

Ana angaone kuti kusakhulupirika ndi kusakhulupirika ndipo angaimbe mlandu kholo lothetsa banja. Popeza kuti satha kumvetsa kusiyana kwa chikondi ndi moyo wa m’banja, kubera kumakhala chinthu chosakhululukidwa ndi chankhanza m’maganizo mwawo. Izi zidzabweretsa chidani chochuluka ndi chidani kwa kholo lobera. Panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, mwanayo amakulitsa chifundo chachikulu kwa kholo limene laperekedwa. 

Zochitika za m'banja zidzasintha kwambiri ndipo ubale wosweka ndi kholo lobera likhoza kupititsa patsogolo uchikulire. Anthu angapo amanena kuti amakwiyira kapena kukhumudwa makolo awo ngakhale patapita zaka zambiri. Kuphatikiza pa izi, chigololo chimagwirizana mfundo za m’banja kuti ana amawakonda. 

Kuona mtima, ulemu, kukhulupirika, chikondi, ndi chithandizo zimangoyendera limodzi. Izi zimapangitsa kuti mwanayo asamadziwe njira iliyonse pa moyo wake. Kusungira mkwiyo kapena kukayikira gulu monga banja kungakhale kovulaza kwambiri ngati munthu wamkulu. Zotsatira za kusakhulupirika kwanthawi yayitali ndi zamphamvu kwambiri. 

3. Kukula mopanda malire

Aneeta Babu ali ndi maganizo osiyana pa zotsatira za kusakhulupirika kwa ana. Iye anati: “Ndimakhulupirira kuti m’pofunika kuona zinthu mozama pang’ono. Chilichonse chimene sichigwirizana chimakhudza maganizo a mwana. Zimenezi siziyenera kukhala kusakhulupirika kwenikweni.

Koma nthawi zambiri ndimaona kuti anthu akuluakulu sakula bwino chifukwa choti makolo awo sakondana kwambiri.” Ana nthawi zonse amangoonerera ukwati wa makolo awo. Choncho, ngakhale kuti kusakhulupirika pakokha sikungawononge, mavuto omwe amabwera m’banja kapena pakati pa okwatiranawo angakhudze mwana. 

Ana amazindikira kwambiri kuposa momwe tingawaganizire. Kusinthasintha kwaukwati kwa anthu okwatirana sikubisika kwa iwo (ndipo umu ndi momwe chibwenzi chimakhudzira banja). Liti kukambirana kulikonse ndi mkangano, zingasokoneze kukula kwa maganizo kwa mwanayo. 

4. Nkhani zokhulupirira

Dr. Gaurav Deka, yemwe ndi katswiri woona za matenda ovutika maganizo, ananena mosapita m’mbali kuti: “Ubwenzi uliwonse uli ndi DNA yakeyake.” DNA imeneyi, mofanana ndi ena onse, imayenda kuchokera ku mtundu wina kupita ku imzake. 

“Akuluakulu ameneŵa amangoona ngati ayandikira kwambiri munthu wina.” Komanso, ndaona kuti anawo (m’miyoyo yawo yauchikulire) amadziona kuti ndi osafunika, ndipo zimenezi zimawachititsa kuti ayambe kukumana ndi mavuto.” The nkhani zazikulu zokhulupirira potsirizira pake amalepheretsa kukhutitsidwa kwamalingaliro (ichi ndi chimodzi mwazotsatira zachinyengo za abambo pa ana).

Kodi ndi zotsatira zotani zomwe zimachitika nthawi yayitali m'malingaliro a kusakhulupirika, mukufunsa? Mwana wanu akadzazindikira kuti munabera banja (chifukwa ndi momwe adzaonera), adzasiya kukudalirani monga kholo. Ndipo mavuto osathetsedwa ameneŵa ndi wosamalira wamkulu kaŵirikaŵiri amasanduka maunansi achikondi amphamvu ngati munthu wamkulu. 

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5. Kodi zotsatira za kubera abambo kwa ana ake aakazi ndi zotani? Katundu wamalingaliro

Kulemera kwa chipwirikiti cha mbiri ya banja ndikovuta kupirira. Ndipo zotsatira za chigololo m'maganizo mwa ana zimaphatikizapo kukhumudwa kwambiri. Ngakhale kuti vutolo lingaoneke ngati latalikirapo m’mbuyomo, limaonekera m’njira zachilendo. Munthuyo amatha kufunsa mnzake pazinthu zing'onozing'ono, kapena kukhala ndi vuto lopanga kulumikizana naye. 

Anthu ena amasankha kusakhala ndi ana, pamene ena amalephera kukhala makolo angwiro. Kukana kumaphimba vuto lenileni lomwe lilipo ndipo anthu amapitilira machitidwe ndi zizolowezi zoyipa chifukwa cha zowawa zaubwana. Mwachitsanzo, timagwiritsa ntchito mawu akuti 'adadi nkhani', zomwe kwenikweni zimasonyeza zotsatira za chinyengo kwa ana aakazi. Zomwe zimayambitsa zopunthwitsa anthu akuluakulu zimayamba chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika kwa makolo.

6. Kukhumudwa chifukwa cha chikondi

Prachi Vaish akufotokoza mfundo yofunika pofotokoza mmene chigololo chimachititsa ana kutaya chikhulupiriro m’chikondi. Iye anati: “Ana akamamvetsa chifukwa chenicheni chimene makolowo amakanganirana kapena kukangana, angakhumudwe chifukwa cha chikondi ndi maunansi a m’banja.” N’zosachita kufunsa kuti zimenezi zingakhudze chisungiko chawo chamaganizo m’mabwenzi achikondi amtsogolo. Mabungwe ngati ukwati sagwira ntchito m'maso mwa ana makolo akamanyenga. 

Chifukwa chake, amatha kukhala achikulire omwe amakonda kusinthasintha maubale aakulu kapena kudzipereka. Khalidwe lofanana ndi la casanova, limodzi ndi kuipidwa kwakukulu kwa kulumikizana kwanthawi yayitali, zitha kukhala zotsatira zanthawi yayitali yopusitsidwa (ndi kholo). Mmodzi mwa owerenga athu, Neha Pathak, akugwirizana ndi Prachi kuti: “Sindinachitepo kanthu m’mbali imeneyi koma malinga ndi zimene ndaona, ana amatsatira njira za makolo awo. 

Sikuti amangotaya ulemu kwa makolo, komanso amayamba kunyalanyaza ukwati ndi maubwenzi onse. ABWENZI amene anali ndi ubwana wovuta. Anayamba kuopa kudzipereka kwatanthauzo.” Hmmm, chakudya choganiza, chabwino? 

7. Kukonda kusakhulupirika - Momwe chinyengo chimakhudzira ubongo

Wolemba mabuku komanso wotsutsa za chikhalidwe cha anthu James Baldwin anati: “Ana sanakhalepo aluso pomvetsera akulu awo, koma sanalephere kuwatsanzira.” Kuthekera kwina kwamphamvu n’chakuti ana akamakula n’kumatengera makolo awo. Mmodzi wa yaitali maganizo zotsatira za kusakhulupirika ndi normalization ake m'maganizo. Mwanayo angayambe kuganiza za kubera ngati njira yabwino kapena yololeka.

Zoonadi, ichi si chinthu chimene chiyenera kuchitika. Zimatengeranso munthu payekha. Zomwe tikunena ndikuti lingaliro liyenera kuganiziridwa. Kubera kumatha kukhala chizoloŵezi chokhazikika mosavuta. Kusakhulupirika kwa nthawi yaitali kungapangitse munthu kuchita zolakwika zomwezo zomwe zinawapweteka kwambiri, mwachitsanzo, akhoza kunyenganso wokondedwa wawo.

Tsopano taona zotsatira 7 za chigololo, tikambirana momwe tingazithetsere. Nthawi siingathe kuchiritsa zilonda zilizonse pokhapokha titayikanso ntchito ina kuchokera kumapeto kwathu. Ndipo kuchitapo kanthu n’kwanzeru zinthu zisanathe. Kodi mumadziwa kuti anthu ambiri amadwala matenda ovutika maganizo chifukwa chakuberedwa ndi makolo awo? Izi ndi zomwe mungachite kuti muyende pamadzi amkunthowa…

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Kodi Mungalimbane Bwanji ndi Zotsatira Zakale Zamaganizo Za Kusakhulupirika?

Ngati ndinu wamkulu yemwe amawona zomwe zakhala zikukulamulirani, apa pali zinthu zingapo zomwe mungachite kuti mukhale bwino. Zotsatira za kusakhulupirika kwa ana zimakhala zovuta, koma sizingatheke. Kulimbikira kwina ndi kulimbikira kukuyenera kukupangitsani kuti mubwererenso pa ubale wabwino. 

1. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri 

Njira yopulumutsira imakhala yosavuta mukakhala ndi chitsogozo cha katswiri wa zamaganizo. Ku Bonobology, timapereka thandizo la akatswiri kudzera mwa akatswiri athu ovomerezeka ndi alangizi. Mutha kuchiza kuchokera ku chitonthozo cha nyumba yanu ndi chithandizo chawo ndikuthetsa zovuta zaubwana. Tabwera chifukwa cha inu.

2. Konzani

Kusunga chakukhosi sikunabweretse chilichonse chabwino. Zotsatira zamaganizo za nthawi yaitali za kusakhulupirika zingapangitse kukhala kovuta kukhululukira kholo kapena kukonza, koma kufika pamalo ovomerezeka ndi kukhululukidwa kudzakumasulani ku zowawazo. Makolo anunso angalakwitse; kufikira kwa iwo lero.

3. Lankhulani momveka bwino

Ngati muli paubwenzi, sungani mnzanuyo pachiuno. Iwo ndi omwe akukhudzidwa ndi mawonetseredwe a zoopsa zanu. Apatseni nkhani ndikukambirana zovuta zanu moona mtima.

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4. Khalani osamala

Yoga, kusinkhasinkha, kapena kulemba zolemba ndi njira zingapo zomwe mungatsatire kuti muyandikire mtendere wamkati. Adzakuthandizani kulingalira za m’mbuyo popanda mkwiyo kapena chakukhosi. Komanso, mupeza kumveka bwino kudzera mu introspection.

5. Pewani mayesero

Yesetsani kugonja ku zizoloŵezi zanu. Ngati mumakonda kugwirizana kapena chibwenzi wamba, yesani kuchitapo kanthu mokhazikika (ndipo chitani ndi umphumphu). Osagwera m'mikhalidwe yomweyi yomwe idzakhala chifukwa cha chisoni pambuyo pake. 

Tikukhulupirira kuti izi zipangitsa kuti zinthu zisakhale zovuta kwa inu. Palibe kukana mphamvu ya nthawi yayitali yokhudzana ndi kusakhulupirika… koma tikudziwa kuti ndinu amphamvu, ngati sichoncho. Ngati mukufuna kugawana nawo nkhani yanu kapena ngati pali zina zomwe taziphonya, ikani ndemanga pansipa. Timakonda kumva kuchokera kwa inu.

Ibibazo

Malangizo 12 Omwe Munganyalanyaze Mwamuna Wonyenga - Katswiri Wamaganizo Amatiuza

Momwe Mungagwirire Mnzanu Wobera - Njira 9 Zokuthandizani

Mitundu 3 Ya Amuna Omwe Ali Ndi Nkhani Ndi Momwe Mungawazindikire

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.