Indlela Yokwenza Insizwa Ibone Ukuthi Ulahlekelwe - Amacebo ayi-15 Asebenzayo

Ingabe umfana wakho ukuthatha kalula? Ingabe ubonakala ezinikele kancane ebudlelwaneni? Uma impendulo yakho kule mibuzo inguyebo, kufanele wenze umfana wakho abone ukuthi ulahlekelwa nguwe futhi ubudlelwano abuyi ndawo. Yisikhathi sokwenza isoka lakho libone ukuthi liyakudinga.

Ukuba sebudlelwaneni obungabongwa futhi ungaziswanga kungalimaza kakhulu kunokungashadi. Kungakushiya uzizwa ungenalutho futhi ungagcwaliseki, futhi okubaluleke nakakhulu, ubhekane negalelo elinzima ukuzethemba kwakho. "Angilungile yini?" “Kungani engenandaba nami nalobu budlelwano?” "Ngenzeni lapha?" Imibuzo eminingi enjalo ingazulazula ekhanda lakho, ikugcwalise ngokuzingabaza.

Hhayi-ke, akuwena, sthandwa. Ukuze uphinde ulawule lesi simo, udinga ukumenza abone ukubaluleka kwakho. Kanjani ngempela lokho? Ngokumenza abone ukuthi uzolahlekelwa yini uma elahlekelwa nguwe. Silapha ukuze sikusize uqonde ukuthi ungamenza kanjani abone lokho akulahlekele lapho eyeka ukubeka phambili kuwe.

Indlela Yokwenza Insizwa Ibone Ukuthi Ulahlekelwe - Amacebo ayi-15 Asebenzayo

Ukuqala kobudlelwano kuvame ukuba okuphelele ngoba bobabili abantu bayathandana. Kodwa, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ungase uqaphele ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho bunamathele esimisweni futhi indoda yakho ikude futhi ayikho. Iphinde ikuthathe kalula, okukushiya udumele futhi ukhungathekile. Kodwa akudingeki ulahle ithemba ngobudlelwano bakho. Landela iseluleko sethu sobudlelwano sokuthi ungamenza kanjani aqaphele ukuthi uyakudinga futhi ubuke izinto zishintsha zibe ngcono.

Empeleni ungasebenzisa amacebo nezindlela zokwenza umfana wakho abone ukuthi uyakuthanda futhi uyakudinga empilweni yakhe ngaphambi kokuthi kuphuze kakhulu. Lena indlela ecashile yokulungisa izinkinga zobudlelwano bakho ngaphandle kokubhekana naye. Nawa amasu angu-15 okusiza ngokuqhubekayo i-ajenda yakho yokwenza umfana wakho abone ukuthi ulahlekelwe nguwe noma ulahlekelwa nguwe:

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1. Ungathathi usizo neseluleko sakhe

Ukuze umenze aqaphele ukuthi wenze iphutha, kufanele uzinze ngokomzwelo ngokwanele ukuze wenze izinqumo zakho esikhundleni sokubonisana naye. Uma ugwema ukuthatha usizo neseluleko sakhe njengoba wawusenza, cishe uzothola ukuthi ukulahlile. Ngisho nokwenza izinto ngokuzimela, njengokudlela ngaphandle noma ukubuka i-movie wedwa, kungenye yezeluleko ezisebenzayo ekumenze aqaphele ukuthi uyakulahla.

Ngokubona ukuqhela kwakho kude naye, kancane kancane, uzokwenza uphenyo oluthile ukuze ahlole ukuthi yini ebingase ilethe kulokhu kuziphatha. Ngokunokwenzeka, lapho esebonile ukuthi ukuziphatha kwakhe ngawe kuyimbangela yalolu shintsho, uzokwenza umzamo wokuyilungisa leyo nkambo.

2. Gwema izingcingo nemibhalo yakhe

Indlela elula yokumenza abone ukubaluleka kwakho ukudala isikhala nebanga elanele phakathi kwenu nobabili ukuze athole ukunambitha ukuthi impilo yakhe izoba njani ngaphandle kwakho kuyo. Ungatholakali kuye ngokushesha uma engazange akhulume nawe ngendlela efanayo.

Hlukana nomkhuba wokuphendula ngokushesha imiyalezo yakhe futhi ebambe nezingcingo zakhe. Uyakudinga njengoba nawe umdinga. Ukunqamula ukuxhumana kuzomenza aqonde ukuthi ukuziphatha kwakhe akwamukelekile. Uzobona ukuthi ulahlekelwa nguwe futhi uzozama ukuthola ukunaka kwakho.

3. Yeka ukumenza azizwe ekhethekile

Indlela yokumenza abone lokho akulahlekele? Ngokumenza abone ukuthi uthando, ukutuswa nokunakwa omthela ngakho akunakuphikiswa. Lona umgwaqo onezindlela ezimbili, futhi uma engazimisele ukuthwala ingxenye yakhe yesibopho sokugcina ubudlelwano buqinile, nawe awubophekile ukwenza kanjalo.

Vele, njengoba umthanda, kusobala ukuthi ukwenza izinto ikakhulukazi kuye kuzokwenzeka ngokwemvelo kuwe. Kodwa-ke uma imikhuba yakhe yonakalisa ubuhlobo , akusiwona umthwalo wakho wemfanelo wokugcina isinxephezelo salokho. Gwema ukumenza azizwe ekhethekile ukuze aqaphele ukuthi uyahamba ngoba ebonisa izimpawu zokungahloniphi . Uma esakuthanda, lokhu kungenye yezeluleko ezizosebenza futhi maduze uzoqala ukuqonda ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle.

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4. Ungabi nandaba naye

Ungabi nandaba nemisebenzi yakhe yansuku zonke futhi ungamnaki isoka lakho . Nciphisa inani lezinto omenzela zona, njengokumphekela, ukumhlikihla, noma ngisho nokuba ngumlamuleli lapho nilwa. Ungabuzi ukuthi udlile noma ukuthi usuku lwakhe belunjani. Vele uyeke ukuzikhathaza ngenhlalakahle yakhe, ukuze aqaphele ukuthi impilo yakhe izoba njani ngaphandle kwakho nokuthi uyakulahlekelwa nguwe.

"Ngingamenza kanjani abone ukubaluleka kwami?" U-Raya wazithola ebuza lo mbuzo kaningi lapho isoka lakhe lisuka ekubeni umlingani we-doting liya endodeni evamile engatholakali ngokomzwelo. Wanquma ukumnambitha umuthi wakhe ngokuphindisela ukungamkhathaleli kwakhe. Impela, edidwe yilokhu kunganaki, wenza umzamo wokuqonda ukuthi yini ngempela eyayingahambi kahle. Kwalandela ingxoxo ejulile yenhliziyo nenhliziyo futhi banquma ukusebenza njengeqembu ukuze bakhe ubudlelwano obanelisayo.

5. Sebenzisa igama elithi 'Cha' kaningi

Ungamenza kanjani abone ukuthi uyakudinga? Uma ubuza lo mbuzo, kulungile ukucabanga ukuthi ubhekene nenkinga evamile ekhula ebudlelwaneni - ukuthathelwa phansi umlingani wakho. Nokho, ngenxa yokuthi ivamile, akusho ukuthi kufanele ubekezele. Indlela elula yokuthumela umyalezo wokuthi akulungile ukuthi akuphathe ngale ndlela iwukuba ungabi semkhawulweni wakhe futhi ushaye ucingo.

Funda ukuthi ungasho kanjani ukuthi 'cha' futhi uzimelele lapho kudingeka. Phila impilo yakho ngokukhetha kwakho, hhayi okwakhe. Lokhu kuzokwenza umfana wakho acabange futhi mhlawumbe azobona ukuthi ulahlekelwe nguwe. Ngezikhathi ezithile, mbonise ukuthi awukubekezeleli kakhulu ukwenza izinto ongayithandi.

6. Yenza izinhlelo ezingamfaki

Kwesinye isikhathi indlela engcono kakhulu yokwenza umuntu abone ukubaluleka kwakho empilweni yakhe ukumnikeza ithuba lokukukhumbula. Beka kuqala indawo yomuntu siqu futhi wenze izinto ezikulethela injabulo. Kokunye, kuzosusa ingqondo yakho emuzweni ongajabulisi wokungaziswa ebudlelwaneni, futhi okwesibili, kuzomenza abone ukubaluleka kwakho.

Phuma ebusuku nezintombi zakho , uye ekilabhini nozakwenu noma uthathe uhambo lwempelasonto uwedwa. Yenza izinhlelo ezingamfaki yena noma ugcine izinhlelo zakho zifihliwe kuye. Konke lokhu kuzoba yizinkomba ezicashile zokuthi ukulahlile uma engalungisi izindlela zakhe.

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7. Beka kuqala 'isikhathi sami'

Ingabe wenze izinto ukuze umenze ajabule kaningi kunezinto ozenzayo ukuze uzenze ujabule? Uma kunjalo, sekuyisikhathi sokuzibeka phambili nokuzithuthukisa. Ubudlelwano obunezinkinga abukusizi ngalutho. Uyakuthanda futhi uyakudinga kodwa okudingayo ukuzithanda. Sekuyisikhathi sokushintsha isimo esikhona ebudlelwaneni bakho.

Ukuze umenze abone ukuthi wenze iphutha ngokungakunazisi, kufanele uhlole futhi uvule amandla onawo kuwena ngokulandela inhliziyo yakho. Ziqhelelanise nomuntu wakho ukuze abone ukuthi usuzimele futhi ungaphila impilo yakho ngaphandle kokuqondiswa nguye. Lokhu kungamtshela ukuthi usuphokophele ekwehlukaneni. Kodwa akukhona yini lokho okufunayo?

8. Ungakuxwayi ukuqoma amanye amadoda

Indlela yokumenza abone lokho akulahlekele? Ngokumenza abone ukuthi usathandeka kangakanani futhi umthuntuthe ekukhululekeni kwakhe ngokuthumela umyalezo ocacile wokuthi ukuba naye kuyisinqumo sakho, hhayi ukuphoqelelwa. Futhi lokho kukhetha kunqunywa ukuthi uphathwa kahle kangakanani ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu cishe ukusikisela okuqondile kakhulu kokwazisa umfana wakho ukuthi ulahlekelwe nguwe noma useqalile.

Uma udlala ngothando namanye amadoda, ikakhulukazi lapho indoda yakho ikhona, noma uncoma amanye amadoda , khona-ke uzowuthola umyalezo. Lokhu kungaba enye yezeluleko ezicacile onganikeza. Zama ukugwema ukwenza lokhu ngaphandle kokuthi uzizwa sengathi awunayo enye indlela. Uma usukwenzile lokhu, akukho ukubuyela emuva. Kuzocaca kuye ukuthi uyakulahlekelwa noma ukuthi usekulahlekelwe kakade.

9. Gwema ukubelesela umfana wakho

Ungakhonondi ngendlela akuthatha kancane ngayo. Ukukhononda kuzosebenza ngokumelene nawe kuphela. Ngeke umenze abone ukuthi ufuna ubuye ngokumthethisa, ukhononde ngokuziphatha kwakhe noma umncenge ukuthi ashintshe izindlela zakhe. Uma kukhona, lezi zinyathelo zokuphelelwa yithemba zokumenza abone ukubaluleka kwakho zizomane zimqhubekisele kude.

Kunalokho, susa ubukhona bakho empilweni yakhe. Uzosheshe aqaphele ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle futhi abone izimpawu zokuthi uzohlukana naye . Khumbula, ukunganaki kwakho kuzomcasula kakhulu kunokukhononda kwakho. Kuzoba ngcono nakuwe njengoba uzoqaphela ukuthi izinto zingakukhathaza kuphela uma uzivumela.

10. Unganaki inkanuko yakhe yobulili

U-Sherry wayekhungathekile ukuthi isoka lakhe lase liqale ukumphatha njenge-booty call futhi ubudlelwano bakhe babungasenangqondo. "Ngingamenza kanjani abone ukubaluleka kwami? Yini engingayenza ukuze abone ukuthi ubaluleke kangakanani kimina?" wabuza umngani wakhe omkhulu uLuna. “Sithandwa, kwesinye isikhathi, ukuze wenze umuntu abone ukubaluleka kwakho empilweni yakhe, kufanele uzibambe umnike lokho akufunayo kuwe – kulokhu, ucansi.”

Yebo, abanye bangase baphikise ngokuthi ukugodla ubulili ukuze wenze umfana azisole ngokulahlekelwa nguwe kuwukukhohlisa. Kodwa, akayena neze umfana oyiphosta wobudlelwano obunempilo futhi. Ngaphandle kwalokho, uma ungenasithakazelo ocansini kuphela futhi yilokho kuphela abonakala akufuna kuwe, khona-ke ukunganikezeli ekuthuthukisweni kwakhe akugodli, kumela lokho okufunayo.

Noma nini lapho ezama ukusondelana nawe, hlakanipha futhi ugweme ukuyenga kwakhe. Ungamniki lokho akufunayo futhi ume ngokuqinile. Mhlawumbe lokhu kuthutha kuyomenza abone ukubaluleka kwakho ekuphileni kwakhe, futhi uyokwenza umzamo wokulungisa izindlela zakhe.

11. Ukuthula kungasebenza izimanga

Ungamenza kanjani abone ukuthi uyakudinga? Uma uke waba namacebo acashile kodwa kwanhlanga zimuka nomoya, sekuyisikhathi sokuthi ukhiphe izibhamu ezinkulu - ihlombe elibandayo, ukuthula, ukungaxhumani, amayadi ayisishiyagalolunye wonke. Ngezinye izikhathi, naphezu kwemizamo yakho emihle kakhulu, awukwazi ukumenza abone ukuthi wenze iphutha ngokungakuphathi kahle. Yilapho kufanele unikeze amazwi akho aphumule futhi uvumele izenzo zakho zikhulume.

Esikhundleni sokuthi usho noma wenze noma yini ukuze wenze umfana wakho abone ukuthi ulahlekelwe nguwe, vele umnike impatho ethule. Cishe uzoqaphela ukuthi awukhulumi noma awusabeli kuye. Ngale ndlela, uyokwazi ukuthi ulahlekelwa nguwe. Uyakuthanda, noma azisho kanjalo. Kodwa lokho akwanele ngaso sonke isikhathi.

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12. Beka imingcele ebalulekile ebuhlotsheni bakho

Imingcele ibalulekile ukuze uvumele umfana wakho azi ukuthi akekho ongasizakala ngawe futhi ngeke ubekezelele noma yimuphi umbhedo. Ukuze umenze abone ukuthi ufuna ubuye, udinga ukumazisa ukuthi imithetho yomdlalo isishintshile. Uma ekuvalela ngaphandle, nawe ngeke umvumele ahambe phezu kwakho.

Ngakho-ke ungakha imingcele ebudlelwaneni bakho bese umtshela ukuthi ayihloniphe. Ungamvumeli ukuthinta ifoni yakho noma afunde ama-imeyili akho - lesi yiseluleko sethu sobudlelwano. Shintsha amaphasiwedi awo wonke amaphrofayela akho ezinkundla zokuxhumana ukuze angakwazi ukuwafinyelela. Uma ekubona ubeka imingcele enjalo, uzothola umqondo wokuthi uyakulahla.

13. Zinike isikhathi nomndeni wakho nabangane

Ukuze umenze abone ukuthi ufuna ubuye, kufanele umvumele azizwe ukuthi angazizwa kanjani uma unquma ukuqhubekela phambili futhi ungalokothi ubheke emuva. Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokumosha wonke amandla akho, isikhathi kanye nemizwelo uzama ukuzuza ukunaka nothando lwakhe, ukubeke kubantu abakukhathalelayo ngempela - umndeni wakho nabangane.

Lapho uchitha isikhathi esiningi nomndeni nabangane, kuyoba ngcono nakakhulu ukuqaphela kwakhe ukuthi awumniki ukubaluleka. Vele umgweme futhi ugxile ekubeni nesikhathi esihle nabathandekayo bakho. Ukwenza kanjalo kungenye yezinkomba eziqinile zokuthi ulahlekelwe nguwe.

14. Naka indlela obukeka ngayo

Ungamenza kanjani aqaphele ukuthi ulahlekelwe yini? Sekuyisikhathi sokuvusa unkulunkulukazi wakho wangaphakathi bese umvumela aveze amandla akhe okudala. Mhlawumbe, eminyakeni edlule, uyeke ukunaka ukubukeka kwakho ngoba wawukhululekile lapho useduze nesoka lakho. Kodwa manje uma sekuyisikhathi sokumenza aqaphele ukuthi ulahlekelwe nguwe, kufanele uqale ukubukeka kahle futhi.

Ngakho-ke gqoka, qiniseka futhi usebenzise izimpahla zakho ukuze uzuze. Thola ukushintshwa, thatha isimiso esisha sokufaneleka, udle kahle, futhi uphile impilo enempilo ukuze wenze umzimba wakho uqhakaze futhi. Lapho ekubona ekukhanyeni okusha, uzobona ngesithunzi sokungabaza ukuthi yiphutha elibi alenzile ngokungakunazisi ngenkathi ukhuluma ngaye.

15. Ungavumeli kalula

Noma nini lapho usebenzisa noma iyiphi yalezi zindlela ukuqondisa iphuzu, kufanele uqine futhi ungavumeli. Ukuze umenze aqaphele ukubaluleka kwakho futhi ayeke ukukuthatha kalula, ungavumeli uthando lwakho ngaye lufiphaze ukwahlulela kwakho. Yenza lokho okufanele ukwenze ukuze umenze aqaphele ukubaluleka kwakho. Eqinisweni, ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ukungamnaki umlingani wakho kungase kungabi yinto embi kakhulu emhlabeni.

Uma iseluleko sethu sobudlelwano singavezi miphumela emihle, khona-ke indlela engcono kakhulu yokuqhubeka nobudlelwano iwukuba uthembeke kuye ngendlela ozizwa ngayo. Mnike ngisho nethuba lokuchaza bese uzama ukuxazulula udaba ngendlela evuthiwe. Uma kwenzeka nihlukana nomfana wakho, qiniseka ukuthi ukuzihlonipha kwakho nesithunzi sakho kuhlala kuphelele. Uma umfana wakho ethanda abesifazane futhi ethanda ukuzibophezela , cishe kungcono uphile ngaphandle kwakhe. Kodwa kungenzeka ukuthi uyakuthanda futhi uyakudinga ngakho uzokwesaba ukulahlekelwa nguwe.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.