22 Imikhuba Emibi Echitha Ubudlelwano

Ebudlelwaneni, bobabili abalingani kulindeleke ukuba bamukele izimfanelo ezinhle zomunye nomunye kanye namaphutha, ngenhliziyo yonke. Ngaphandle kokwamukelwa okunjalo, ubuhlobo ngeke bukwazi ukuphila ngempumelelo. Kodwa-ke, kunemikhuba ethile emibi yobudlelwano omunye wozakwethu angase abe nayo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi engase ilimaze ukuguquguquka kwabo. Lena imikhuba emibi engeke yamukeleka ebudlelwaneni futhi edinga ukulungiswa ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka.

Ngokusho kwalolu cwaningo , kunochungechunge olude locwaningo oluhlobanisa umshado nokunciphisa imikhuba engaphilile njengokubhema, kanye nokukhuthaza imikhuba engcono yezempilo njengokuhlolwa njalo. Kodwa-ke, ucwaningo olusha luyavela olusikisela ukuthi imibhangqwana eshadile kanye nemibhangqwana ehlala ndawonye yobungqingili kanye nabesifazane abathandana nabobulili obufanayo ebudlelwaneni obuseduze besikhathi eside ingase ilandele imikhuba emibi yomunye nomunye ebudlelwaneni.

UCorinne Reczek, uprofesa oyisekela le-UC wesayensi yezokuhlalisana kwabantu, uyabika, “Abantu bahlangana emikhubeni yezempilo phakathi nesikhathi sobuhlobo babo, ngoba imikhuba engalungile yomunye ikhuthaza ngokuqondile imikhuba engalungile yomunye ebuhlotsheni.” 

Kungani Ubudlelwano Buntekenteke?

Ngaphambi kokuba siqhubeke nokubhala imikhuba emibi eyonakalisa ubudlelwano, kubalulekile ukuthi siqonde ukuthi kungani ubudlelwano kulezi zinsuku bube buthaka kangaka. Ukuphatha ubudlelwano bothando sekube umsebenzi onzima kubantu abamatasa bebhekana nemithwalo yemfanelo yobungcweti kanye nezinye izibopho zomuntu siqu. Uma wehluleka ukunika ubudlelwano bakho kuqala, uzobona ngokushesha izimpawu zokuthi umlingani wakho uthatha ubudlelwano kalula.

Abanye babo abakakulungeli ukwenza isivumelwano nokuzibophezela okukhulu lapho besothandweni. Abanye abalingani banobugovu futhi bakhohlisa abanye babo ababalulekile ukuze kuzuze bona. Lena imikhuba emibi ebudlelwaneni eholela emthelela omubi empilweni yengqondo yabantu futhi.

Esikhundleni sokukhuluma ubuso nobuso nabalingani babo, abantu bakhetha ukushiya umlayezo wombhalo noma ukubashayela, okuvame ukudala imigoqo engadingeki nokungaqondi. Abantu abaningi bayayeka ukukhulisa ubudlelwano babo futhi abanaso isibindi sokubhekana nezinkinga ezihambisana nobudlelwano, kuyilapho kukhona abanye abantu abavele bafune i-adventure, ngakho-ke umqondo wokuchitha impilo yabo nomuntu oyedwa awubakhangi.

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Sonke siqoqe imikhuba yobudlelwano engenampilo. Isibopho sangempela nokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni abukho kulezi zinsuku. Iningi labantu lifuna injabulo kanye nezintelezi zangaphandle zobudlelwano, ngenxa yalokho ubudlelwano bulahlekelwe ukujula nothando. Isithombe esinjalo esibuhlungu sobudlelwano kufanele sishintshwe futhi umuntu kufanele enze imizamo yokuqinisekisa ukuthi ubudlelwano babo buyasinda ekuvivinyweni kwesikhathi. Khumbula, ubudlelwano buyisibusiso okumele bugcwaliseke futhi bunothise kubo bobabili abalingani.

22 Imikhuba Emibi Emosha Ubudlelwano Futhi Edinga Ukusukunyelwa

Njengoba ubudlelwano kulezi zinsuku buntekenteke, budinga ukunakwa nokukhuthazwa njalo. Ukunyakaza okukodwa okubi ohlangothini lwakho kungabangela umonakalo ongalungiseki esibophweni sakho nomlingani wakho. Ngakho-ke, kuyisibopho sakho ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi uyavuma uma unemikhuba ethile elimaza ubudlelwano futhi wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukuyiqeda. Nansi inkomba esheshayo yemikhuba emibi engu-22 echitha ubudlelwano.

1. Ukuhlale ubelesela umlingani wakho

Ekuqaleni, umlingani wakho angase akuthole ukukhononda kwakho nokuphazanyiswa kwakho kuhle. Kodwa-ke, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kuzoba yinto ecasulayo, ikakhulukazi uma ihlala njalo. Kumelwe ubeke imingcele ukuze uqinise ubuhlobo bakho futhi uhloniphe isikhala nesikhathi somlingani wakho.

2. Ukugwema izingxabano eziqondile

Kungenzeka ukuthi ugweme ukungqubuzana okuqondile ngoba ulaka lwenziwa lugxile emvelweni yakho. Kodwa-ke lolu hlobo lokuziphatha luzodala umonakalo omkhulu ebudlelwaneni benu. Kubalulekile ukuthi ube neqiniso kumlingani wakho futhi umazise ukuthi yini engalungile esikhundleni sokuvala yonke into. Kodwa ungaphenduki izingxabano zakho zibe izinto ezibulala ubudlelwano. Kukhona 'indlela' yokuba nokungqubuzana futhi, njengoba kuchazwe ngaphambili.

U-Amy Rauer uthi kulolu cwaningo , “…imibhangqwana ebishadile isikhathi eside yayivame ukubika izingxabano ezimbalwa iyonke — kodwa uma iphikisana, ivame ukuphikisana ngezindlela eziphumelelayo, igxile ezintweni ezingaxazululwa, futhi igcizelele izixazululo kunokumane iveze imizwa yayo. Ukukwazi ukuhlukanisa ngempumelelo phakathi kwezinkinga ezidinga ukuxazululwa nalezo ezingase zibekwe eceleni okwamanje kungaba esinye sezihluthulelo zobudlelwano obuhlala isikhathi eside nobujabulisayo.”

3. Ukusho izinto ezingezinhle ngomndeni/abangane bomlingani wakho

Kufanele uqaphele kakhulu futhi ugweme ukusho noma yini engeyinhle ngabangani nomndeni womlingani wakho. Umlingani wakho angase akhulume phambi kwakho mayelana nabathandekayo bakhe. Nokho, ngokusobala ngeke bayijabulele imibono engemihle ngawe evela kuwe.

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4. Ukuzama ukuqalisa izinguquko kumlingani wakho

Ngokusho kocwaningo ngemikhuba emibi ethinta ubudlelwano bakho, enye indlela eyinhloko abalingani abathandanayo abalwela ngayo ukuxazulula izingxabano nokuthuthukisa ubudlelwano babo iwukucelana ukuthi bashintshe ukuziphatha noma izici ezinganelisi (okungukuthi, imithethonqubo yabalingani). Nakuba izinguquko eziphumelelayo ezicelwe umlingani zinamandla okuthuthukisa imiphumela yomuntu siqu neyobuhlobo, lezi zinguquko kunzima ukuzenza futhi zingasongela ikhwalithi yobudlelwano.

Pho siyinqanda kanjani le mikhuba echitha ubudlelwano ukuthi iqhubeke? Umcwaningi, u-Natalie Sisson, uphakamisa izindlela ezimbili umlingani angashintsha umbono wakhe ukuze uvumelane kangcono nesicelo soshintsho:

• Ukuzikhulisa: Khetha ukuchaza kabusha isicelo soshintsho njengesignali yokuthi uzakwenu ufuna ukukusiza ukuthi ukhule futhi ube inguqulo yakho engcono ngokuyeka imikhuba yobudlelwano engenampilo.
• Ukukhula kobudlelwano: Lezi zicelo zoshintsho ungaziboni njengezinto ezicekela phansi ubudlelwano, kodwa njengophawu lokuzinikela kophathina wakho kuwe kanye nokwenza ngcono ubudlelwano. Lokhu kungase kukhuthaze futhi kungacasula kangako

Khumbula, umlingani wakho angase angabi ngumuntu ophelele obuhlale umfuna, kodwa-ke kubalulekile ukuthi umamukele ngokuphelele. Ungabi nakho okulindele okungenangqondo futhi ungakuphoqeleli ukuba baphume endaweni yabo yokunethezeka. Akufanele uqale noma yiluphi uhlobo lwezinguquko ezinkulu kumlingani wakho.

5. Ukuqhathanisa umlingani wakho nabanye

Ungaweli ogibeni lokuqhathanisa ! Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukwenza ngamabomu noma ngokungazi, kufanele uyeke ukuqhathanisa umlingani wakho nabanye abantu abakuzungezile. Ukwazisa umlingani wakho kubaluleke kakhulu. Udinga ukuhlonipha umlingani wakho futhi umkhuthaze ukuba abe umuntu ongcono, esikhundleni sokumqhathanisa njalo nokumlulaza.

6. Ukuchitha isikhathi ngezinto zikagesi

Ubuchwepheshe sebuyingxenye nengxenye yempilo yakho. Kodwa ubudlelwano bakho kufanele bube yinto eza kuqala kuwe hhayi ukubuka uchungechunge olungapheli noma ukuba nezingxoxo zevidiyo zosuku lonke nabangane. Kufanele unikeze umlingani wakho isikhathi lapho usekhaya. Gwema ukusebenzisa umakhalekhukhwini wakho kanye nekhompuyutha ephathekayo uma uzakwenu ekhona. Ngale ndlela, ungakwazi ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho ngendlela ejulile.

Ukubhebhana kanye nokulutha ngocingo yizinto ezibhubhisa ubudlelwano ngokuqinisekile. Ngokusho kocwaningo , "Esikutholile ukuthi lapho othile ebona ukuthi umlingani wakhe ubebhebhana, lokhu kudala ingxabano futhi kwaholela emazingeni aphansi okwaneliseka kobudlelwano okubikiwe. La mazinga aphansi okwaneliseka kobudlelwano, nawo aholela emazingeni aphansi okwaneliseka empilweni, futhi ekugcineni, amazinga aphezulu okucindezeleka."

7. Ukugxeka ngokweqile umlingani wakho

Uma ubona ukuthi ugxeka umlingani wakho kakhulu futhi njalo njalo, kufanele uyeke. Gwema ukuphawula kabi ngokubukeka kwabo noma ukusho noma yini embi ngomsebenzi wabo. Funda ukunikeza impendulo ngendlela eyakhayo ukuze yamukelwe ngendlela enhle.

8. Ukulandelela amaphutha esikhathi esidlule omlingani wakho

Sibuze umfundi wethu, uTucker, umeluleki wezezimali waseSan Diego: Yimiphi imikhuba emibi ethinta ubudlelwano bakho noma yiziphi izinto ezivamile ezibulala ubudlelwano? Wayekulungele ngempendulo yakhe, “ Umlingani wami uveza amaphutha ami angaphambilini , hhayi nje ngesikhathi sibhekene nengxabano kodwa ngisho nalapho izinto sezilungisiwe futhi sinosuku olunokuthula. Ukwenza ngokunganaki, futhi kukhombisa ngokusobala ukuthi udaba lukhona futhi lusekhanda lakhe, nokuthi asizange siluxazulule ngempela futhi siqhubekele phambili.”

"Ngeke angixoxele ngale ndaba uma kufanele. Ngiyazi ukuthi usaphatheke kabi nangesikhathi ebesilindelekile. Ngikholwa ukuthi lo mkhuba omubi obhidliza ubudlelwano obuningi." Yebo, kumele ufunde ukuxolela umlingani wakho uma enze iphutha futhi ukhohlwe yilo futhi. Uma kwenzeka ugcina ithrekhi yamaphutha omlingani wakho wesikhathi esidlule futhi uwasho phakathi nezingxabano nokulwa, khona-ke kuzoba nomthelela ongemuhle ebuhlotsheni bakho ongeke ukwazi ukuwulungisa.

9. Ukuzithela ngabandayo

Akungabazeki ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uzokhululeka nomlingani wakho futhi uzizwe wanelisekile futhi ujabule. Kodwa-ke kufanele uqinisekise ukuthi nomlingani wakho ukhululekile. Uma uzizwa ungakhululekile kakhulu futhi uthatha umlingani wakho kalula, khona-ke kuzoba yiphutha elikhulu kuwe. Yile ndlela imibhangqwana eminingi egcina ithi: Angizizwa ngithandwa ebudlelwaneni bami.

10. Ukugcina amazinga aphansi enhlanzeko

Lokhu kungenye yemikhuba emibi ebudlelwaneni kanye nokucisha okukhulu. Ukuzigcina uhlanzekile futhi ucocekile akubalulekile nje kuphela ngesikhathi sokuthandana nomlingani wakho. Kufanele ugcine izinga eliphezulu lokuhlanzeka ngisho noma ungashadile, ngisho nalapho usuyohlala nophathina wakho noma ushada naye. Ukuntuleka kwenhlanzeko kuzodala umbono omubi ngawe. Amazinga okuhlanzeka akhombisa isimilo sakho nendlela okhuliswe ngayo.

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11. Ukuxabana nomuntu othandana naye phambi kwabantu

Uma unomkhuba wokuqophisana nomuntu wakho phambi kwezihlobo, abangani, noma ezindaweni zomphakathi, kusho ukuthi umkhuba omubi ngempela. Isimo esinjalo sizoba namahloni kubantu abaseduze kwakho kanye nakumlingani wakho. Kuhlala kungcono ukuxazulula izinkinga ngasese.

12. Ukucupha nokugada isithandwa sakho

Sibuze uDyllan, umqashi oneminyaka engu-30 ubudala wezinkampani: Yiziphi imikhuba echitha ubudlelwano? Bathi: “Uma ungibuza ukuthi imikhuba emibi ebhidliza ubudlelwano obuningi ibangelwa ukuhlale ungamethembi umuntu othandana naye, akulula njengokungathembeki cha, isibonelo, uma umlingani wakho engakwazi ukuchitha isikhathi nawe usuku olulodwa akufanele usheshe ufinyelele esiphethweni sokuthi akakuthandi noma akakuthandi ngaphezu kwakho.

Ukwethembana kufanele kube isisekelo esikhulu sobudlelwano benu. Kufanele uhloniphe ubumfihlo bomlingani wakho. Ungaphenduki u-stalker osabekayo futhi ubeke iso kumlingani wakho 24*7. Futhi gwema ngokuphelele ukungena kuma-imeyili omlingani wakho, imiyalezo, njll. Lena imikhuba echitha ubudlelwano.

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13. Ukuziba impendulo enempilo evela kumlingani wakho

Ngokusobala, ngeke ukuthande uma umlingani wakho ekugxeka. Kodwa-ke, uma umlingani wakho ekunikeza impendulo enempilo, kufanele uyilalele. Umlingani wakho ukufunela okungcono kakhulu futhi ngaleyo ndlela uzokugxeka ukuze akusize uthuthuke. Ngakho-ke ukuziba impendulo enjalo kuzokulimaza kakhulu kunokuhle.

14. Ungakhulumi ngempilo yakho yocansi nophathina wakho

Kuze kube yilapho uveza izifiso zakho zobulili kanye nezinjabulo zakho, umlingani wakho ngeke akwazi ukukwanelisa. Ngakho-ke, udinga ukuvuleleka kumlingani wakho futhi umtshele ukuthi ufunani. Ukukhuluma ngezidingo zakho zobulili kanye nokuzama ukulala embhedeni nomlingani wakho kufanele kube yinto evamile kuwe.

15. Ukuveza ulwazi lomuntu siqu oluningi emndenini nakubangane

Ubudlelwano owabelana nabo nophathina wakho bungcwele. Izinkinga eninazo komunye nomunye kufanele zigcinwe ziyimfihlo. Uma uhlala udalula ulwazi mayelana nempilo yakho yangasese kubangani nomndeni wakho, ngolunye usuku kuzodala izinkinga ezinkulu ebudlelwaneni bakho. Ngakho-ke, gcina umndeni wakho nabangane ngaphandle kobudlelwane owabelana nabo nesithandwa sakho.

16. Ukwephula izithembiso njalo

Umlingani wakho ulindele ukuthi ugcine isithembiso lapho wenza esinye. Mhlawumbe uma uqala ukwephula isithembiso, umlingani wakho uzosiyeka. Kodwa uma uqhubeka nokwephula izithembiso njalo, uzomdumaza kakhulu umlingani wakho. Ngakho-ke yenza isithembiso kuphela uma wazi ukuthi ungasilandela. Ungalokothi usebenzise ukukhohlisa kwesikhathi esizayo ukulawula imizwa yomlingani wakho.

17. Ukuba nomona nokuba nezinto eziningi

Umhawu omncane ohlangothini lwakho ungase unikeze isiqiniseko kumlingani wakho ukuthi umthanda ngempela futhi uyamazisa. Kodwa-ke, uma uba nomona ngokweqile futhi uphatha ngokweqile, kusho ukuthi kungenye yaleyo mikhuba emibi yobudlelwane engase icindezele othandekayo wakho.

18. Ukukhohlwa izigigaba zobudlelwano

Izenzakalo ezibalulekile zobudlelwano ziyindlela yokugubha izinkumbulo enizichithe nobabili eminyakeni edlule. Uma uqhubeka ubakhohlwa, kusho ukuthi awumazisi umlingani wakho kanye nezikhathi ozichithile naye.

19. Ukucabanga kabi ngezinto

Empilweni yakho, uzobhekana nokwehla nokwenyuka. Kodwa lokhu akusho ukuthi uqhubeka ufukamela imicabango emibi futhi uyehluleka ukwazisa izinto ezinhle ekuphileni. Uma uqhubeka ucabanga kabi, khona-ke kuyoba nzima hhayi kuphela kuwe, kodwa futhi nomlingani wakho.

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20. Ukuzitika ngePDA

Akunabungozi ukubambana ngezandla nokuqabula isithandwa sakho kanye phakathi kwabantu. Kodwa-ke, i-PDA engaguquki ibophezelekile ukubenza bangakhululeki futhi baxake ngesinye isikhathi. Kufanele uyeke ukungabi nandaba nemizwa yomlingani wakho kanye nabantu abaseduze kwakho nobabili.

21. Ukufihla izinto ngokusebenzisa amanga amhlophe

Amanga amhlophe awalutho futhi awayona ingozi. Kodwa uma ujwayela ukusebenzisa amanga amhlophe njalo ukuze ufihle izinto kumlingani wakho, kuzolimaza ubudlelwano benu. Ukuthembana umlingani wakho anakho kuwe kuzophela lapho ebhekene nentaba yamanga akho. Umqambimanga ophoqelelayo akakwazi ukukhulisa ubudlelwano, ngakho-ke hlola lowo mkhuba wokuqamba amanga ukuze usindise uthando lwenu.

22. Ukugcina imizwa ivaliwe

Lokhu kungalimaza ubuhlobo benu ngendlela embi kakhulu. Uma ungakhulumi ngemizwa nemizwa yakho, khona-ke umlingani wakho ngeke akwazi ukukuqonda futhi akududuze. Nobabili ngeke nikwazi ukuxhumana nomunye ngokomzwelo. Ungamsoli umlingani wakho ngokungahlangabezani nezidingo zakho lapho ungakwazi ukuziveza.

Le mikhuba emibi ingase ingabonakali iyingozi kangako kuwe, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ingaba yingozi kakhulu futhi ingaqeda ubuhlobo bakho. Ngakho-ke, kufanele wenze imizamo yokuzithuthukisa futhi ugqashule imikhuba emibi ngaphambi kokuba ibhidlize ubuhlobo bakho ngendlela engenakulungiseka.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.