Izindlela Eziyi-12 Zokwenza Umyeni Wakho Akulalele

Sonke sizwile ngengcaphuno ehlekisayo ethi “umuntu ongcono kakhulu ongakutshela izimfihlo zakho, ngumyeni wakho, ngeke atshele muntu ngoba ubengalalele nokulalela”. Yebo, amadoda anamandla amakhulu okukubuka ufile ebusweni ngesikhathi ukhuluma ungezwa inhlamba oyishoyo. Futhi yingakho udinga ukusebenzisa amanye amaqhinga ukuze umyeni wakho akulalele.

NgokukaBryant H McGill “Enye yezindlela zenhlonipho eziqotho ukulalela lokho omunye akushoyo.” Lokhu kufakazela ukuthi uma usuyekile ukulalela owakwakho usuyekile nokuhlonipha.

Abesilisa nabesifazane basebenzisa izitayela zokulalela ezihlukene nakuba isimo sezindlebe zabo bobabili ubulili siyefana. Owesifazane usebenzisa izinhlangothi zombili zobuchopho bakhe kuyilapho owesilisa esebenzisa uhlangothi olulodwa kuphela lobuchopho ngenkathi elalele. Futhi lezo zintokazi ezithandekayo ziyisizathu sokuthi siqhubeke sifuna amazwi asho amazwi okwenza umyeni alalele unkosikazi. Kodwa empeleni, okudingeka sikwenze nje ukusebenzisa amaqhinga alula ukuze siqinisekise ukuthi sizwakala- phezulu futhi kucace. Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi unami kulokhu.

“Olunye uhlobo lwenhlonipho oluqotho empeleni ukulalela lokho omunye akushoyo.” Lokhu kufakazela ukuthi uma usuyekile ukulalela owakwakho usuyekile nokuhlonipha.

Ucwaningo olwenziwa nguDkt Michael Phillips, i-neuro-audiologist e-Indiana University School of Medicine, lwathola umehluko wobulili emisebenzini yobuchopho yabesilisa nabesifazane. I-Brain imaging scans yabonisa ukuthi i-hemisphere yobuchopho kwesokunxele yamadoda ku cwaningo yenziwe yasebenza ngenkathi ilalele, kuyilapho womabili ama-hemispheres enziwe asebenza kwabesifazane. Le datha iphakamisa ukuthi kunomehluko ongokomzimba ekulaleleni phakathi kwabesilisa nabesifazane.

Kungani Amadoda Engabalaleli Omkawo?

Manje njengoba sesazi ukuthi abesilisa nabesifazane balalela ngokuhlukile, umbuzo olandelayo uthi kungani amadoda kawalaleli yini noma bagweme ukulalela noma benze sengathi abalaleli omkabo? Ikhono lokulalela lamadoda namakhosikazi lincike ezinhlobonhlobo nezimo zabo kunasebulilini babo. Kwesinye isikhathi ngibuye ngizibuze ukuthi ngabe amadoda, ikakhulukazi, alalela noma ngubani. Ingabe kunzima ukuthola umyeni ukuthi alalele wena kuphela noma nabangane bakhe nezinye izihlobo? Imicabango?

1. Bangabalaleli abagxile ezenzweni

Men ngokuvamile kuba ngabalaleli abagxile ezenzweni, bagxila ekulaleleni izinto ezihlobene nesimo samanje kanye nesixazululo senkinga abasanda kuyizwa. Ngenxa yalokho, lapho unkosikazi ephambuka esihlokweni noma eveza imininingwane engadingekile yesikhathi esidlule bavele bacime. Njengabesifazane, sivame ukuqhubeka nokuchaza futhi kuqhubeke futhi kudlulele ngale kwesihloko okuxoxwa ngaso. Lokhu, amadoda akuthola kungenasidingo futhi avele avale izindlebe zawo.

2. Bazizwa kuyisixazululo esingcono kakhulu

Umyeni izwa sengathi kuwukubheja okuphephile ukwenza isithulu ukuze ugweme izingxabano ezingase ziphakame ngenxa yengxoxo esohlelweni lomfazi. Ikakhulukazi, lapho bazi ukuthi kukhona okungalungile, ngokwesibonelo, uma ephuthelwe umbuthano womndeni owawubalulekile kumkakhe angalindela ukuba kuvele umsindo. Bacabanga ukuthi ukuba yisithulu nesimungulu kuyovimbela ukuvunguza izinto ngendlela engafanele futhi inkosikazi ekugcineni izozipholela yodwa.

3. Bazizwa bencipha uMacho

Ngezinye izikhathi indoda iba nomuzwa wokuthi ukulalela umkayo kusho ukukhulisa imizwa yakhe engafanele yokuba isisulu, ngakho izama ukumbusa nokumlawula, ngokumnika amandla. ukwelashwa buthule. Inomuzwa wokuthi ngokugwema ukulalela umkakhe ingaphuma kalula ekulandeleni izimfuno zakhe.

4. Besaba ukuhlaselwa ngamazwi

Njengoba nje amakhosikazi amaningi enomuzwa wokuthi abayeni bawo awabanaki, amadoda ukuze abe nomuzwa wokuthi omkawo abasebahle kuwo, kunalokho anomuzwa wokuthi omkawo bahlale besesimweni sokuhlasela. Bangase baqale ingxoxo kahle kodwa ekugcineni, abakwenzayo ukukhononda ngakho konke. Ukwenza indoda izizwe ingafaneleki ngokungakwazi ukuxazulula inkinga yomkayo kubonakala kuwumgomo futhi ukuze ikugweme, amadoda azama ukungabalaleli omkawo.

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5. Abakutholi kuthakazelisa

A cwaningo kuye kwafakazela ukuthi owesilisa angagxilisa ingqondo enkulumweni yowesifazane isikhathi esingaphezu kwemizuzu eyisithupha ngaphambi kokuba abe nombono omncane. Lokhu kukodwa ngoba uthola ingxoxo ingathandeki. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, angaba nengxoxo ethatha ubusuku bonke nabangane bakhe abafana ngezemidlalo, izimoto, izimpi, into ayithandayo.

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Ungamthola Kanjani Umyeni Wakho Ukulalela?

Manje lokho kungaba nzima, akunjalo? Amadoda amaningi noma kunalokho, amadoda, agxila kulokho okwenziwayo kunalokhu okushiwoyo. Ngakho ukuze umenze akulalele, uzodinga ukuqiniseka ukuthi ugxile kuwe. Ukuqala ngezingxoxo ezishubile ngeke kusize, ngakho-ke uzodinga ukumenza akhululeke kuqala, bese uqala 'ukukhuluma'. Nawa amanye amathiphu azanyiwe futhi ahloliwe ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi unezindlebe zakho konke okushoyo.

1. Veza uthando lwakho kuqala

Uma kunzima ukwazi ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze lapho umyeni wakho engakulaleli, udinga ukwenza ukulalela kubaluleke kuye. Ngaphambi kokuthi ukhulume nanoma yini nomyeni wakho qala uqinisekise ukuthi ukhuluma njalo uthando lwakho kuye. Ngeke ukwazi ukuthola okudlula kuye uma engazizwa ethandwa. Khumbula ngenkathi niqala ukuhlangana? Ubumuhle ngakho ubemuhle.

2. Khetha isikhathi nendawo efanele

Kwesinye isikhathi, abesifazane bavame ukukhipha ukukhungatheka kwabo kubayeni futhi baqale ukukhuluma ngezinkinga zabo noma ngabe umyeni umatasa kwenye indawo. Lokhu ngeke kwenze umyeni wakho akulalele, kunalokho, kumenze athule futhi enze sengathi ulalele. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isimo siphuthuma kangakanani noma silinga kangakanani akakhulumi ngezindaba ezingathi sína ocingweni lapho esemsebenzini noma ematasa ngokunye. Ichitha yonke ingxoxo. Khetha isikhathi nendawo lapho ashiywe khona kungekho okunye angakwenza ngaphandle kokukulalela.

3. Cacisa ngalokho okulindele

Kuyiqiniso elamukelekayo emhlabeni wonke ukuthi abayeni ababona abafundi bengqondo. Ngakho-ke cacisa ngezinkinga zakho nokuthi yini oyilindele kuye. Ungaze umtshele kahle ukuthi udinga ukuthi akulalele kuphela ngoba uzwa sengathi ufuna ukukhipha imizwa yakho futhi kulungile uma engenazo izixazululo.

4. Mvumele anqume lapho esekulungele ukukhuluma

Yazisa umyeni wakho ukuthi udinga ukuxoxa okuthile naye kodwa ungamjahi. Akaqhamuke nesikhathi nendawo engcono ukuze azi ukuthi usuyayemukela imibono yakhe. Lokhu kuzomenza asondele kuwe ngomqondo ovulekile.

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5. Namathela esihlokweni esibalulekile

Khumbula ukuthi umyeni wakho unesikhathi esifushane sokunaka ngakho sebenzisa ngokugcwele ngokunamathela esihlokweni ofuna ukuxoxa ngaso. Kuzokwenza futhi umyeni wakho akuthathe ngokungathi sína njengoba ukugxila kwakho kanye nendaba yokuxoxa icacile. Dwebela ukubaluleka futhi Ukuxhumanisa isihloko sakho samanje nezinto ezingabalulekile kuzomenza akhukhuleke. Isibonelo, uma uxoxa ngomcimbi womndeni ozayo ungakhulumi ngeholide elingavamile likamakhelwane wakho. Zama ukuba mfushane futhi uqonde.

6. Hlola ulimi lwakho lomzimba nephimbo

Gwema ukumethusa ngolimi lwakho lomzimba oluqinile nephimbo. Lokhu kuzomenza acime nakanjani. Zama ukwenza ingxoxo yakho isondelene kancane ngokuhlala eduze kwakhe futhi ube nethoni ethambile. Uyoba izindlebe zonke ke.

7. Mbonise imivuzo

Phakamisa ukulindela kwakhe mayelana nengxoxo yakho. Makube sengathi ekugcineni, uzovuzwa. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umvuzo uwukumvumela ukuba abe nezwi lokugcina noma okuthile okuzomjabulisa. Vele uqiniseke ukuthi uyazi ukuthi ingxoxo yenu izophetha kahle futhi ngeke iqhume ingxabano.

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8. Mazise ukuthi uzimisele

Ngezinye izikhathi umyeni wakho angase afune ukusibekela eceleni sonke isihloko ngokusithatha kalula futhi athi akuyona into enkulu. Yileso sikhathi okufanele wehlise umoya ngaso leso sikhathi umenze abone ukungathi sína kodaba oludingidwayo. Qiniseka ukuthi uyamazisa ngokuthi wena nomndeni wakho nizothinteka kanjani uma udaba lungasingathwanga kahle.

9. Lalela umbono wakhe

Ingxoxo enempilo ivumela bobabili abathintekayo ithuba elifanelekile lokuveza umbono wabo. Qiniseka ukuthi unikeza eyakho umyeni izinsiza eziningi zokunikeza imibono yakhe ebalulekile esihlokweni sengxoxo. Ngisho eqhamuka nemibono engathi shu ungakuxwayi ngokushesha. Mbuze ukuthi kungani ecabanga ukuthi umbono wakhe uyisixazululo esingcono ngesikhathi esifanayo mtshele ukuthi uzama ngobuqotho ukuqonda indlela athatha ngayo isimo.

10. Vumelana nezimo

Ukuthola i- umyeni ukulalela kinina, kuzomele niqinisekise ukuthi nobabili nizokhipha isisombululo ndawonye. Ungenzi njengebhungu elinenkani. Nobabili ningase niqhamuke nezixazululo ezihlukene zenkinga enikhona. Zama futhi uvumelane nezimo nezixazululo zomyeni wakho. Uma kungenzeka shintshanani nizame izindlela zomunye nomunye. Inqobo nje uma udaba olukhona seluxazululiwe akumele ngabe ubani oqhamuke nesixazululo.

11. Khetha amagama akho ngokuhlakanipha

Gwema ukubelesela kuzo zonke izimo. Amazwi agxekayo, asongelayo noma angahloniphi angavala wonke amathuba okwenza umyeni wakho akulalele. Uma ufuna ukwakha ukuxhumana okunempilo nomyeni wakho kufanele ukhethe amagama akho ngobuhlakani.

12. Cela usizo kwabanye

Okokugcina noma usuzame konke okunye uma wehluleka ukwenza umyeni wakho akulalele nosizi lwakho sekuyisikhathi sokuthi kungenelele umuntu wesithathu. Zama futhi uthululele isifuba kumngane oseduze noma isihlobo ocabanga ukuthi umyeni wakho uyamhlonipha kakhulu futhi ucele ukungenelela. Uma umyeni wakho enomuzwa wokuthi angakhuluma nanoma ubani omunye, kodwa wena futhi usulungele ukufuna isiqondiso sochwepheshe bomeluleki womshado kufanele ulunge ngakho futhi uqhubeke.

"Sthandwa, kumele sikhulume?" lawa mazwi ayesatshwa abafana emhlabeni wonke. Okusebenzisa ngaphambi nangemuva kwalawa magama yikho okuzovala isivumelwano kuwe. Ekugcineni khumbula ukuthi ungene kulo mshado ngoba ekuthanda futhi ekukhathalele, ngakho-ke uma engakulaleli kungenxa yendlela obeka ngayo iphuzu lakho. Kuzodingeka ube isilaleli esinesineke ngokwakho ngaphambi kokuba ulindele ukuthi umyeni wakho enze kanjalo. Ukuze wenze umyeni wakho akulalele, udinga ukulandela amathiphu angenhla futhi maduzane uzothola ukuthi unendaba nalokho ozokusho.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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