Izimfanelo Ezingu-20 Okufanele Uzibheke Kumyeni

Yiziphi izimfanelo okufanele uzibheke kumyeni? Ukuze kuphendulwe lo mbuzo, kwenziwa ucwaningo nguRichard A. Lippa. Ucwaningo lwakhishwa ku-BBC Internet, okwagcina kufinyelele amadoda angaba ngu-119,733 nabesifazane abangu-98,462. Umsebenzi wawulula: khetha izimfanelo ezintathu eziphezulu ozifunayo kumlingani. Lokhu kwakungaphandle kohlu lwezimpawu ezingu-23 ezisukela ekuhlakanipheni nasekukhuthaleni kuya emakhonweni okukhulisa izingane kanye nokukhanga.

Izinketho eziphezulu zabesifazane? Amahlaya, ubuhlakani, ukwethembeka, umusa, kanye nezindinganiso. Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ukubukeka okuhle, ukubukeka kobuso, nokuqina konke kwakuphezulu ohlwini lwabesifazane futhi. Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi imali, isimo senhlalo, nokuchuma konke kwakusezansi ohlwini. Lokhu kubangela umbuzo: Yiziphi izimpawu zendoda elungile ukushada? Kumelwe singene sijule embonweni wowesifazane ngezimfanelo zomkhwenyana omuhle.

Izimfanelo Ezingu-20 Okufanele Uzibheke Kumyeni

Impilo yomshado ihlukile ebudlelwaneni. Ukushada nothile kusho ukuvuka eduze kwakhe nsuku zonke, futhi ungavumeli i-monotony yakho konke kunciphise umzamo owenzayo owenzayo kukho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umshado oqinile uwuhambo olwabiwe ngokuvamile oluthatha amashumi eminyaka futhi ngezinye izikhathi lungaletha izinselele ongakwazi nokuziqonda.

Njengoba uzobe uchitha ingxenye engcono yokuphila kwakho nomyeni wakho ozoba yindoda, ukuba kwakhe nezici zomyeni omuhle kungenza lolu hambo lube olujabulisayo nokwanelisayo. Ngakho, nazi izinto ezingu-20 indoda okufanele izenze. Lezi azibekwe etsheni, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, zizoba yinzuzo kuwe ngakho-ke kufanele unake lezi zimfanelo ezitusekayo ngenkathi ukhetha umyeni wakho wesikhathi esizayo:

1. Kulula ukuba naye

Kungenzeka ukuthi uke wezwa imibhangqwana ikhuluma ngendlela “eyayixhumene ngayo,” into evame ukuhlotshaniswa nobudlelwano phakathi kwabantu ababili . Nakuba kungase kuzwakale kukuhle, akudingeki kube njalo. Eqinisweni, udinga ukuqinisekisa ukuthi:

• Awuhlali ezinzwaneni zakho eduze kwakhe
• Ungaphumi endleleni yakho ukuze uhlabe umxhwele kuye
• Zizwe uphephile lapho ekhona futhi ungabelana naye ngezimfihlo

Enye yezimfanelo zalowo ongase abe umyeni ukuthi futhi ungumngane wakho omkhulu. Ungakhuluma naye nganoma yini futhi wenze ihlaya ngezinto ezahlukene, futhi lapho izinto ziba nzima, kufanele ukwazi ukudabula kuzo kalula. Ukwenza imizamo eqinile yokungaguquli izimpi ezincane zibe izimpi ezingenakunqotshwa kungenye yezimfanelo zendoda elungile okufanele ishade nayo.

2. Unomusa nozwelo

Uhlu 'Lokho engikufunayo kumyeni' lwahlanganiswa abacwaningi e-University of Göttingen eJalimane kanye nohlelo lokusebenza lwezempilo lwabesifazane i-Clue. Ucwaningo luhlole abantu abangaphezu kuka-64,000 emazweni angu-180, lubabuza ukuthi yini eyenza umyeni omuhle - lubheka izindinganiso eziningi, kusukela ekuthandweni kwenkolo noma kwezepolitiki kuya ekuphakameni. Nansi imiphumela yocwaningo:

• Cishe u-90% wabesifazane babeka umusa ophakeme phakathi kwezimfanelo ezifiselekayo
• Lokhu kulandelwe eduze ukwesekwa ngama-86.5%
• Abesifazane abangu-72.3% babeka ubuhlakani njengekhwalithi abayintandokazi kwabesilisa

Ukukhulumisana okunempilo kubeka isisekelo somshado ojabulisayo. Yingakho ububele buphezulu kulolu hlu lwezimfanelo okufanele uzibheke kumyeni. Ukuqaphela ukuthi unezidingo zakho ezihlukile njengomuntu nokuba nomusa kulezo zidingo kuyizimfanelo ezibaluleke kakhulu zomyeni nobaba omuhle .

Amadoda anesimilo esihle ayayikhathalela inhlalakahle yabantu abangabazi, izingane, izalukazi nezilwane. Indoda ekuphatha kahle kodwa edelela uweta endaweni yokudlela noma ekhahlela inja yasemgwaqeni akuyona impahla yomyeni. Uma ephakela izilwane ezilahlekile, enikela ezinhlanganweni ezisiza abampofu, noma ngokuvamile enomusa kubantu abaseduze kwakhe, uphumelele umklomelo omkhulu emnyangweni 'wendoda engcono'.

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3. Uma ukholelwa ekuthatheni umfazi oyedwa, naye kufanele

Yiqiniso, lokho akusho ukuthi ukuba nomlingani oyedwa kuphela kuyindlela eya phambili. Ukuba nomlingani oyedwa kungenye yezimfanelo okufanele uzibheke kumyeni wabantu abazisa ukwakheka kwabo. Kodwa-ke, uma ungumuntu othanda abantu abaningi noma ujwayelene nobudlelwano nganoma iyiphi enye indlela, ungase ufune into ehlukile. Ukwaneliseka emshadweni kuncike ngokuphelele ekufuneni izinto ezifanayo. Ngaphambi kokushada nendoda yakho, yiba nengxoxo ende, eningiliziwe naye mayelana nemibono yakhe mayelana nalokhu:

• I-Monogamy
• I-Polyamory
• Ukungathembeki

Ucwaningo olushaqisayo luveza ukuthi imibhangqwana iqamba amanga komunye nomunye kathathu ngesonto. Yiqiniso, lokhu kufaka phakathi amanga amakhulu njengokukhohlisa kodwa futhi namanga amhlophe abonakala engenangozi njengokuthi “Ngizobuya ekhaya ngesikhathi namuhla”. Ngakho-ke, uma ungowesifazane ongashadile ofuna umlingani ophelele, yazi ukuthi ukungathembeki kanye nokuntuleka kokuzithiba yizona zinto eziqeda izivumelwano.

4. Unamancoko

Ocwaningweni olwenziwe emibhangqwaneni eshadile engu-3,000 evela emazweni amahlanu, kwatholakala ukuthi amadoda nabafazi bajabule kakhulu ngomlingani ohlekisayo. Lesi sici kubikwa ukuthi sibaluleke kakhulu ekwanelisekeni komshado kwabafazi kunamadoda. Ucwaningo luthi, “Abashadile bangase futhi bathathe ukuhlekisa njengophawu lwesisusa sokuba mnandi, ube nomusa, uqonde, futhi uthembeke — njengophawu lokuzibophezela.”

Ngenkathi ufuna izimfanelo ezinhle kumlingani wakho, udinga futhi ukuqinisekisa ukuthi indlela yakhe yokuhlekisa ihambisana neyakho. Amahlaya acwasa ngokobulili, ngokobuhlanga, nahlambalazayo awahlekisi muntu. Vimbela indoda empilweni yakho uma uyithola ihlekisa kanje:

• “Umkami ngowasekhishini”
• “Umkami nabangane bakhe bahlale behleba”
• "Abesifazane bangenza ama-orgasm mbumbulu, kodwa amadoda angakhohlisa umshado wabo wonke"

5. Nsuku zonke ukufunda okusha kuye

Enye yezimfanelo ezinhle kakhulu okufanele uzibheke kumuntu wesilisa ukuvuthwa ngokomzwelo kokufunda okuthile kuwo wonke amathuba. Kungenzeka ukuthi wena nomyeni wakho wesikhathi esizayo nisebenza ezindaweni ezahlukene noma ninemakhono ahlukene ngokuphelele. Umshado wenu ungaba yisicefe kakhulu uma ningakwazi ukwabelana ngolwazi lwenu oluhlukahlukene. Yingakho ukuzimisela ukufunda kuwe kanye nekhono lokukhuthaza kuyizimpawu zomyeni okufanele nizibheke.

Indoda yakho ingase ikwazi ukwenza i-hummus emnandi , noma ingase ibe nolwazi oluhle ngezindaba zamanje. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubuchwepheshe buyini, nobabili kufanele nikwazi ukwabelana ngakho futhi nijabulele inqubo. Ikhono lokuba nezingxoxo zezepolitiki naye noma ukuphikisana naye ngenani elifanele likashukela enkomishini yetiye yindlela eningaxhumana ngayo ngempumelelo ebudlelwaneni benu besikhathi eside.

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6. Ukwenza umuntu ongcono

“Uma sithanda, sihlala silwela ukuba ngcono kunathi. Uma silwela ukuba ngcono kunathi, konke okusizungezile kuba ngcono futhi.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist . Uma ubudlelwano bakho bukuvumela ukuthi ukhule njengomuntu futhi bungavimbi intuthuko yakho, usubeke isisekelo sobudlelwano obuhle.

Indoda kufanele yenzeni kumkayo? Iba umngane ekukhuleni kwakhe siqu. Kungenzeka umazi kahle umuntu ozoshada naye kodwa ingabe ukwenza ufune ukuba umuntu ongcono? Sithembe, abantu baba ngcono ngemva kokuthandana! Kubaluleke kakhulu ukubopha ifindo lempilo yonke nendoda eveza okuhle kuwe ngokuthi:

• Ukukugqugquzela ukuthi weqe imikhawulo yakho
• Ukuhlonipha umuzwa wakho wamathumbu esikhundleni sokukuthathela izinqumo
• Ukuhlonipha indawo yakho / isikhathi uwedwa

7. Akakuvimbeli noma ubudlelwano bakho

Awumdingi umlingani ozisebenzelayo okunikeza isikhathi esinzima lapho uqinisekisa ukuzimela kwakho. Yebo, amadoda amaningi athambekele ekubeni nemingcele kakhulu kubafazi bawo. Iminyaka yesimo se-patriarchal ibenza bangaboni amaphethini athile okuziphatha ayinkinga, njengokuthi,

• Ukufuna ukwazi ukuthi ukuphi ngaso sonke isikhathi
• Ukulawula ukuthi ubani ongakwazi ukuzihlanganisa naye
• Ukuthatha ilungelo labo lokugunyaza noma ukungavumeli ukukhetha kwakho kwezingubo

Ekhulwini lama-21, izimfanelo ze-20 zendoda enhle zihlanganisa leli khono lokukuphatha njengomuntu olinganayo nozakwethu ngobuqotho beqiniso, hhayi njengomuntu okudingeka amvikele noma amsindise emhlabeni. Abesifazane akudingeki batshelwe ukuthi benzeni futhi bangakwenzi. Okwenza umyeni oqotho ukugqugquzela ukuthi uzame izinto ezintsha esikhundleni sokukubekela imingcele. Uma uzama ukuthola ukuthi yini okufanele uyibheke kumyeni, thola umuntu othembela kuwe ngokwanele ukuthi akuvumele ukuthi uzenzele izinqumo futhi ongahlehlisi ngokwanele ukuze alawule impilo yakho. Uyalingana, hhayi i-pawn yakhe.

8. Ukulungele ukuyekethisa lapho kudingeka

Yebo, uzophila impilo ejabulisayo enezinkumbulo ezimnandi. Kodwa futhi uzoba nokungavumelani. Akwenzeki ukuthi nobabili nibe sekhasini elilodwa impilo yenu yonke. Ungase futhi ungene ezingxabanweni ngenxa yemibono ehlukene. Izingxabano zivamile, futhi ngandlela-thile, ziyadingeka. Kodwa-ke, izinto zizoqala ukwehla uma ehlala elindele ukuthi uhlehlise.

Ukuqiniseka ukuthi akenzi okubi akusikho neze phakathi kwezimfanelo ezinhle esokeni ezimenza afanelekele ukuba ngumyeni wakhe. Ubuhlobo obuhle budinga ukuthi bobabili abathintekayo bavumelane ngesinye isikhathi. Ngakho-ke, nansi izimfanelo zomyeni omuhle:

• Umqondo ovulekile nokuzimisela ukuthatha umgwaqo ophakeme
• Ukuvuthwa ngokomzwelo nokuxhumana okuhle ukuze kuxazululwe izingxabano ezinempilo
• Ikhono lokuba nezingxoxo ezibalulekile lapho uzizwa uphansi

Umqeqeshi wobudlelwano oqinisekisiwe uShivangi Anil ugcizelela, “Ukuze sibone izimpawu zokungalingani, sidinga ukunaka ukuthi amandla okwenza izinqumo akuphi. Futhi ngesinqumo, angisho izinqumo zezimali noma ezinkulu zodwa. Izinqumo mayelana nokuthi uhlala kuphi, ukuthi udlani, nokuthi nobabili nixhumana nobani njengombhangqwana. Ukungalingani kugcina amandla angalingani lapho umuntu osesikhundleni esinamandla kakhulu engaphoqelela izidingo zakhe kanye nezidingo zakhe komunye umuntu. Ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu, amandla angalingani angavula indlela yokuxhashazwa nobudlova.”

9. Muhle embhedeni

Kube nezimo eziningi lapho abesifazane bethola khona ukuthi abayeni babo banothando, bayakhathalela futhi bayaqonda. Kodwa-ke, abakajabuli ngokuphelele emshadweni wabo ngoba abayeni babo abakwazi ukubanelisa embhedeni . Uma ucabanga ngezinto okufanele uzibheke kumyeni, ukuhambisana kwenu ngokocansi njengombhangqwana kufanele kubhekwe nakanjani. Ngaleyo ndlela, nazi izimfanelo okufanele uzibheke kumyeni:

• Uyazwelana nokwamukela izifiso nezidingo zakho zocansi
• Uphusha imingcele yenjabulo kuwe
• Ungakhuluma naye ngalokho okhululekile ngakho, nokuthi yini ekujabulisayo
• Uyakuqonda ukubaluleka kokuvuma futhi uyakwazisa

Ungayithathi kalula le nto, ingenye yezimfanelo ezibaluleke kakhulu zomkhwenyana omuhle. Ucwaningo empeleni lubonisa ukuthi abesifazane bayakhohlisa ebudlelwaneni ukuze babangezelele, hhayi ukuze babaqede. Ucwaningo lubonisa nokuthi abesifazane abangu-80% baqamba amanga ngokuthi bafika ocansini ngesikhathi socansi.

10. Unezimiso ezifanayo nezakho

Ukuba nombono ongafani kuyinto eyodwa kodwa uma umlingani wakho ongaba khona engenazo izindinganiso ezifanayo nezakho, kungenzeka ukuthi umshado wenu uzoba yindawo yokulwa. UPatty noJake base beneminyaka engaphezu kwemibili ndawonye, ​​​​futhi yize uJake engakabuzi umbuzo, izimpawu zokuthi ufuna ukumshada zazikhona. Ngosuku lokuqomisana ngoLwesihlanu ebusuku, uPatty wakhuluma ngendaba yezingane zesikhathi esizayo, okuyinto exakile ukuthi babengakaze bayixoxe.

Kwaba njalo, u-Jake wayefuna umndeni omkhulu kanti u-Patty wayencike ekuphileni okungenayo ingane. Lokhu kuhlukana kwemibono kugcine kubahlukanise. Yingakho ukuxoxa ngezindinganiso kubalulekile lapho kuhlolwa izimfanelo zabayeni bazo. Uma kwenzeka umlingani wakho enomehluko ngezindinganiso, udinga ukuqinisekisa ukuthi okungenani uyahlonipha lapho umi khona. Ngakho-ke, uma uhlola izimfanelo zalowo ongase abe umyeni, ukuhambisana kwamagugu ayisisekelo kuyinto ebalulekile empilweni yangempela. Lawa manani angabandakanya:

• Izinkolelo zezenkolo/ezingokomoya
• Indlela yezezimali
• Ukukhetha indlela yokuphila (ukuphuza/ukubhema/ukubhema)
• Imibono ngokuzibophezela nokwethembeka
• Imibono yekusasa nomndeni

11. Ubheke ngabomvu ukwenza izinto ezintsha nawe

Ngeke ulindele ukuthi umyeni wakho akumangaze ngezinto ezintsha nsuku zonke, kodwa kufanele akujabulele ukuzama izinto ezintsha nawe. Kungaba kuncane njengokuzama indawo yokudlela entsha ehlinzeka ngokudla kwaseShayina noma kube kukhulu njengokuhamba nge-paragliding. Omunye wakho obalulekile kufanele abheke phambili ekuzameni nasekuhloleni ukuzizwisa okusha nawe.

Yingakho isifiso sokuphila siphakathi kwezimfanelo okufanele uzibheke kumyeni. Ngaphandle kwaso, ukuthambekela komshado kungaba nomthelela omkhulu ngokushesha. Uma ubuzibuza ukuthi ungamchaza kanjani umyeni ongcono kakhulu, “Umuntu ongahlola umhlaba naye” yindawo enhle yokuqala. Futhi, umuntu ozimisele njalo ukuhlola ukuthi angaba kanjani umyeni omuhle.

12. Ungaxhumana naye ngakho konke

Ungase ucasukile ngomlingani wakho, kodwa uyazi ukuthi ungakhuluma naye ngalokho okukukhathazayo. Ngakho-ke, ukukhulumisana okuhle kanye nokwamukela imizwa kuyizimfanelo zomlingani omuhle emshadweni. Uma indoda yakho iyindoda efanele, uzokwazi ukukhuluma nayo ngezinkinga ezinzima futhi ungesabi ukusabela kwayo. Uzolalela futhi axazulule izinkinga zakho esikhundleni sokuthi impikiswano yakho ayisebenzi.

Ngakho-ke, amakhono okuhle okulalela angenye yezimfanelo ezingaxoxiswana ngazo zomyeni omuhle. Ucwaningo olwenziwe nguFaye Doell lubonise ukuthi kunezinhlobo ezimbili ezahlukene zokulalela: “ukulalela ukuze uqonde” kanye “nokulalela ukuze uphendule”. Labo “abalalela ukuze uqonde” banokwaneliseka okukhulu ebuhlotsheni babo nabanye abantu kunabanye. Nakuba abantu bengase bacabange ukuthi bangase balalele ukuze baqonde, abakwenzayo ngempela ukulinda ukuze baphendule.

13. Uyazazisa izimfanelo zakho ezinhle futhi uyazamukela ezimbi

Wonke umuntu unamaphutha. Udinga nje ukubheka umuntu olungile ongaphila namaphutha akho nawe, owabo. Umyeni ofanelekayo angakwazisa ngazo zonke izimfanelo zakho ezinhle kodwa futhi uyozamukela ezimbi zakho. Ngakho-ke, ungumuntu wezinto ezibonakalayo uma engenzi:

• Ukuthethisa uma wenza amaphutha
• Ukukubukela phansi njalo uma ukhathazekile
• Ukucela ukuthi uguqule ukuthi ungubani emqondweni wakho

Ngeke akuthande kancane ngenxa yokuthi awuligcini ikhabethe lakho lihlanzekile noma ngenxa yokuthi uhlala sekwephuzile, kodwa uzokusiza ukuba ube inguqulo yakho engcono ukuze kuzuze wena. Uma ungacacile ngokuthi iziphi izimfanelo umyeni okufanele abe nazo, gcina isineke nokubekezelelana kuphezulu ohlwini lwakho.

14. Akadingi njalo “ukunqoba”

Akuyona nje eyodwa yezimfanelo okufanele uzibheke kumyeni kodwa kubo bonke ubuhlobo obuchumayo othandweni. Akunakuphikwa ukuthi izingxabano nokungqubuzana akunakugwenywa kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo. Umbhangqwana ovuthiwe unekhono lokulungisa izinkinga futhi uzixazulule esikhundleni sokuthi:

• Ukushintsha icala
• ukukhanya kwegesi
• I-Stonewalling

Umyeni ovuthiwe ngokomzwelo/onomthwalo wemfanelo angavuma ukuxazulula izinkinga futhi angaqhubeki nengxabano ukuze nje ayinqobe nganoma iyiphi indlela. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, i-narcissist noma umlingani onobuthi angazama ukukwehlisa ngokukudikibalisa, ukukusola, futhi akubone ungenakukwazi. Awufuni lolo hlobo lwe-negativity/vibe embi emshadweni wakho. Ngakho, izici zomyeni kufanele zihlanganise amakhono okuxazulula izinkinga, esikhundleni sesidingo sokuwina ngazo zonke izindlela.

15. Uyakusekela izinkanuko zakho

Yiziphi izimfanelo zendoda enhle ongayishada? Udinga umuntu osekela izinqumo zakho futhi ome nawe. Nakuba lokhu kungase kubonakale sengathi kuyinto enikeziwe, ngeshwa, naphezu kwezikhathi ezithuthukayo esiphila kuzo, amadoda amaningi asalindele ukuthi omkawo badlale indima yesibili emshadweni. Isibonelo, emishadweni eminingi, enye yezimfanelo ezinhle zomfazi ukuyeka umsebenzi wakhe ngemva kokubeletha uma izimo zidinga. Kodwa-ke, lokhu akusebenzi ngempela enkathini yanamuhla.

Umyeni wakho ongase abe umyeni wakho udinga ukuba nelukuluku mayelana nezinkanuko zakho futhi enze konke okusemandleni akhe ukukusiza ukuba uziphishekele. Thola indoda ezokuphakamisa esikhundleni sokukwehlisa. Enye yezimfanelo ezibabazekayo zomyeni wesikhathi esizayo ukuthi uba umthokozisi wakho omkhulu futhi ikuphushe ukuthi uphishekele amaphupho nezinhloso zakho.

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16. Izici okufanele uzibheke kumyeni: Uphatha kahle umndeni wakho

Umshado omuhle awuyona nje inhlanganisela yabantu ababili kodwa futhi nemindeni emibili. Umlingani wakho angase angabi nankinga yokubonisa uthando kuwe, kodwa uma engawuphathi umndeni wakho ngendlela okufanele uphathwe ngayo, akayena ofanele wena. Kungenye yezimpawu okufanele uzibheke kumyeni abantu abaningi abangazinaki kakhulu, okugcina kuholele ezingxabanweni nasenzondweni. Ukugwema ukuchitha isikhathi nomndeni wakho, ukubabiza ngamagama angcolile, ukuphikisana nabo, kanye nokungabahloniphi ngaso sonke isikhathi kuyisibonakaliso sendoda engavuthiwe, enobutha. Indoda enomthwalo wemfanelo ngeke ikuthande futhi ikuhloniphe kuphela kodwa nomndeni wakho.

17. Akancikile ngokuphelele kuwe

Emshadweni, abashadile baqala ukuthembela komunye nomunye ezintweni eziningi. Lokho nje ukuhleleka kwezinto kwemvelo. Nokho, kunomehluko phakathi kobudlelwane obuncike komunye nomunye kanye nobudlelwano obuncikene. Nakuba okokuqala kunempilo, lokhu kwakamuva kuwuphawu lobuthi. Kuyaqondakala ukuthi udinga umlingani onganciki kuwe kuze kube yilapho ubuwena buncipha ukuze ube umnakekeli wakhe waphakade.

Udinga ukufuna umyeni ongaphila ngaphandle kokuthi uhlale amahora angama-24 ngosuku, izinsuku eziyi-7 ngesonto. Kufanele akwazi ukwenza imisebenzi yasekhaya yedwa, esikhundleni sokuba umyeni ovilaphayo . Kufanele akwazi:

• Pheka ukudla uma umatasa
• Apakishe izikhwama zakhe ohambweni lomsebenzi
• Hlanganyela isabelo sakhe semithwalo yemfanelo njengomzali

18. Uyakukhuthaza ukuthi uphile ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakho

Indoda efanelekile ingaqonda ukuthi impilo yakho ayihlali igxile emshadweni wakho. Ekhuluma ngendawo enempilo ebudlelwaneni, isazi sezengqondo uJaseena Backer sithi, “Le ndawo kufanele ibe ntofontofo ngokwanele kubalingani futhi ingabi nkulu ngokwanele ukungena komuntu wesithathu.”

Isikhala ebudlelwaneni asisona isibonakaliso esibi futhi umyeni omuhle uyakwazi ukukubona lokho. Yiziphi izimfanelo okufanele umyeni abe nazo? Ikhono lokubona ukuthi ungumuntu ozimele onezidingo zakho, izinto ozithandayo, nezinto ongazithandayo kufanele nakanjani liphumelele. Ngakho-ke, imisebenzi yendoda enhle ukukukhuthaza ukuthi:

• Thatha imisebenzi emisha
• Zihlanganyele nabangani bakho
• Chitha isikhathi nawe
• Zama izinto ezintsha ngaphandle kwakhe

19. Uzivumela ukuba abe sengozini nawe

Isazi sobudlelwano uRidhi Golechha uthi, “Amadoda nabesifazane babhekana nobuhlungu ngendlela ehlukile. Amadoda agcina ecindezela ubuhlungu bawo obungokomzwelo, okwenza bube nzima kakhulu. Bagqoka isifihla-buso sesibindi futhi abakwazi ukuthola uzwela umuntu obonisa ubuthakathaka akwazi ukuluthola. Futhi, amadoda asebenzisa ezinye izindlela ukuqondisa ubuhlungu bawo (njengolaka, impindiselo, ulaka, noma ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba).”

Amadoda avame ukuba nenkinga yokusondelana ngokomzwelo . Uma uthola umuntu ongesabi ukuyekethisa, okukuvumela ukuthi ubone ubuthakathaka bakhe, kubalwe phakathi kwezimfanelo zomyeni omuhle. Mshade uma:

• Ithatha izinyathelo zokukuvulela isifuba
• Akudingi ukufakazela ukuthi unamandla/macho kangakanani
• Uchitha isikhathi sekhwalithi, lapho ekhombisa uhlangothi lwakhe olusengozini

20. Ubheke ngabomvu ukuqala impilo nawe

Ukuba yindoda akuyona into emnandi kuwo wonke umuntu. Ngakho-ke, uma engazimisele ngempela ukushada futhi ekwenza ngenxa yengcindezi noma umuzwa wesibopho, ubuhlobo benu buzosheshe bufike emanzini anzima. Indoda efuna ngempela ukushada izokwazi kusukela ekuqaleni.

Angase ayithathe kancane, kodwa kancane kancane azokwenza kube sobala kakhulu. Ngisho noma ekucela ukuthi ulinde lapho efinyelela isikhundla esithile emsebenzini noma ehola inani elithile lemali, noma kunjalo uzogcina izinga lokuzinikela. Lesi sifiso sokukubona naye esikhathini esizayo ngaphandle kokuthi uqagele noma uzibuze ukuthi ubudlelwano benu buphokophelephi kuyimfanelo enhle ekhomba ukuthi ungumyeni wakho.

Umshado, ekupheleni kosuku, ungaphezu kokuthandana. Uma wenza isifungo sokuchitha impilo nomuntu, uzodinga okungaphezu nje kothando ukuze ukwazi ukuzulazula emanzini adungekile ozohlangana nawo nakanjani. Uma uphawule izimfanelo eziningi okufanele uzibheke kumyeni futhi wazi ukuthi umlingani wakho uzokusekela phakathi neminyaka yonke, amanzi amdaka aba lula kakhulu ukugwedla.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Zomshado Ophumelelayo

Izinto Eziyi-8 Ongayenza Uma Ungajabulile Emshadweni

Izinto Ezincane Ezingu-23 Ezenza Umshado Wakho Uqine Nsuku Zonke

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.