Izimfanelo Ezingu-20 Okufanele Uzibheke Kumyeni

Yiziphi izimfanelo okufanele uzibheke kumyeni? Ukuze uphendule lo mbuzo, a cwaningo yaqhutshwa nguRichard A. Lippa. Inhlolovo yenziwe ku-BBC Internet, egcine ifinyelele amadoda angaba ngu-119,733 nabesifazane abangu-98,462. Umsebenzi wawulula: khetha izici ezintathu eziphezulu ozibheka kumngane womshado. Lokhu bekuphuma ohlwini lwezici ezingu-23 ezisebenzisa i-gamut kusukela ekuhlakanipheni nasekukhuthaleni kuye emandleni okuba umzali nokukhangayo.

Izinketho eziphezulu zabesifazane? Amahlaya, ubuhlakani, ukwethembeka, umusa, kanye nezindinganiso. Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ukubukeka okuhle, ukubukeka kobuso, nokuqina konke kwakuphezulu ohlwini lwabesifazane futhi. Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi imali, isimo senhlalo, nokuchuma konke kwakusezansi ohlwini. Lokhu kubangela umbuzo: Yiziphi izimpawu zendoda elungile ukushada? Kumelwe singene sijule embonweni wowesifazane ngezimfanelo zomkhwenyana omuhle.

Izimfanelo Ezingu-20 Okufanele Uzibheke Kumyeni

Impilo yomshado ihlukile ebudlelwaneni. Ukushada nothile kusho ukuvuka eduze kwakhe nsuku zonke, futhi ungavumeli i-monotony yakho konke kunciphise umzamo owenzayo owenzayo kukho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umshado oqinile uwuhambo olwabiwe ngokuvamile oluthatha amashumi eminyaka futhi ngezinye izikhathi lungaletha izinselele ongakwazi nokuziqonda.

Njengoba uzobe uchitha ingxenye engcono yokuphila kwakho nomyeni wakho ozoba yindoda, ukuba kwakhe nezici zomyeni omuhle kungenza lolu hambo lube olujabulisayo nokwanelisayo. Ngakho, nazi izinto ezingu-20 indoda okufanele izenze. Lezi azibekwe etsheni, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, zizoba yinzuzo kuwe ngakho-ke kufanele unake lezi zimfanelo ezitusekayo ngenkathi ukhetha umyeni wakho wesikhathi esizayo:

1. Kulula ukuba naye

Kungenzeka ukuthi uke uzwe imibhangqwana ikhuluma ngendlela abavele baziphathe ngayo "chofoziwe," into evame ukubizwa ngokuthi yi- chemistry phakathi kwabantu ababili. Njengoba kungase kuzwakale kuyisifiso, akudingekile ukuba kube njalo. Eqinisweni, udinga ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi:

• Awuhlali ezinzwaneni zakho eduze kwakhe
• Ungaphumi endleleni yakho ukuze uhlabe umxhwele kuye
• Zizwe uphephile lapho ekhona futhi ungabelana naye ngezimfihlo

Enye yezimfanelo zalowo ongase abe umyeni ukuthi futhi ungumngane wakho omkhulu. Ungakhuluma naye nganoma yini futhi wenze ihlaya ngezinto ezahlukene, futhi lapho izinto ziba nzima, kufanele ukwazi ukudabula kuzo kalula. Ukwenza imizamo eqinile yokungaguquli izimpi ezincane zibe izimpi ezingenakunqotshwa kungenye yezimfanelo zendoda elungile okufanele ishade nayo.

2. Unomusa nozwelo

Uhlu 'Engikufunayo kumyeni' lwahlanganiswa abacwaningi baseNyuvesi yaseGöttingen eJalimane kanye nohlelo lokusebenza lwezempilo wesifazane i-Clue. I Ucwaningo kuvotelwe abantu abangaphezu kuka-64,000 emazweni we-180, bebabuza ukuthi yini eyenza umyeni omuhle - bafaka imibandela eminingi, kusukela ekuthandweni kwezenkolo noma kwezombusazwe kuya ekuphakameni. Nansi imiphumela yocwaningo:

• Cishe u-90% wabesifazane babeka umusa ophakeme phakathi kwezimfanelo ezifiselekayo
• Lokhu kulandelwe eduze ukwesekwa ngama-86.5%
• Abesifazane abangu-72.3% babeka ubuhlakani njengekhwalithi abayintandokazi kwabesilisa

Ukukhulumisana okunempilo kubeka isisekelo somshado ojabulisayo. Yingakho uzwelo lusezingeni eliphezulu kulolu hlu lwezimfanelo okufanele uzibheke kumyeni. Ukuqaphela ukuthi unezidingo zakho ezihlukile njengomuntu nokuba nomusa kulezo zidingo kuyizimfanelo ezibaluleke kakhulu a umyeni omuhle kanye nobaba.

Amadoda anesimilo esihle ayayikhathalela inhlalakahle yabantu abangabazi, izingane, izalukazi nezilwane. Indoda ekuphatha kahle kodwa edelela uweta endaweni yokudlela noma ekhahlela inja yasemgwaqeni akuyona impahla yomyeni. Uma ephakela izilwane ezilahlekile, enikela ezinhlanganweni ezisiza abampofu, noma ngokuvamile enomusa kubantu abaseduze kwakhe, uphumelele umklomelo omkhulu emnyangweni 'wendoda engcono'.

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3. Uma ukholelwa ekuthatheni umfazi oyedwa, naye kufanele

Yebo, lokho akusho ukuthi ukuba nonkosikazi oyedwa ukuphela kwendlela eya phambili. I-Monogamy ingenye yezimfanelo okufanele uzibheke kumyeni kubantu abazisa ukwakhiwa ngokwabo. Nokho, uma u- umuntu polyamorous noma yenza ubudlelwano nganoma iyiphi enye indlela, ungahle ubheke okuthile okuhlukile. Ukwaneliseka emshadweni kuxhomeke ngokugcwele ekufuneni izinto ezifanayo. Ngaphambi kokushada nendoda yakho, yiba nengxoxo ende enemininingwane naye mayelana nemibono yakhe mayelana:

• I-Monogamy
• I-Polyamory
• Ukungathembeki

Okushaqisayo ucwaningo uveza ukuthi imibhangqwana iqamba amanga kathathu ngesonto. Yiqiniso, lokhu kuhlanganisa ezinkulu njengokukopela kodwa futhi okubonakala kungenangozi amanga amhlophe njengokuthi “Impela ngizofika ekhaya ngesikhathi namuhla”. Ngakho-ke, uma ungowesifazane ongashadile ofuna umlingani ophelele, yazi ukuthi ukungathembeki nokuntuleka kokuzithiba kuyizinqamuli ezinkulu.

4. Unamancoko

Phakathi ku cwaningo eyayiqhutshwa nemibhangqwana eshadile engu-3 000 evela emazweni amahlanu, kokubili amadoda namakhosikazi kwatholakala ukuthi bajabule kakhudlwana uma benomngane womshado onamahlaya. Lesi sici kubikwa ukuthi sibaluleke kakhulu ekwaneliseni umshado wamakhosikazi kunamadoda. Ucwaningo luthi, "Abashadile bangase bathathe amahlaya njengophawu lokugqugquzela ukuhlekisa, umusa, ukuqonda nokwethembeka - njengophawu lokuzibophezela."

Nakuba ufuna izimfanelo ezinhle komngane womshado, nawe kudingeka uqiniseke eyakhe uyahlekisa ihambisana neyakho. Amahlaya abonisa ubulili, anobandlululo, ahlambalazayo awahlekisi muntu. Vimbela indoda empilweni yakho uma umthola enza amahlaya afana nalawa:

• “Umkami ngowasekhishini”
• “Umkami nabangane bakhe bahlale behleba”
• "Abesifazane bangenza ama-orgasm mbumbulu, kodwa amadoda angakhohlisa umshado wabo wonke"

5. Nsuku zonke ukufunda okusha kuye

Enye yezimfanelo ezinhle kakhulu okufanele uzibheke endodeni yile ukuvuthwa ngokomzwelo ukufunda okuthile kuwo wonke amathuba. Amathuba ukuthi wena nomyeni wakho wesikhathi esizayo nisebenza ezindaweni ezihlukene noma ninamakhono ahlukene ngokuphelele. Umshado wakho ungaba yisicefe kakhulu uma ungakwazi ukwabelana ngezinto ezihlukahlukene nawe. Yingakho ukuzimisela ukufunda kuwe kanye nekhono lokukhuthaza kuyizici zomyeni okufanele uzibheke.

Indoda yakho ingase ikwazi ukwenza i-hummus emnandi, noma kungenzeka ukuthi unolwazi olunzulu ngezindaba zamanje. Noma ngabe buyini ubungcweti, nobabili kufanele nikwazi ukwabelana ngakho nobabili futhi nijabulele inqubo. Ikhono lokuba nezingxabano zezombangazwe naye noma ukuphikisana naye mayelana nenani elifanele likashukela enkomishini yetiye indlela ongakhulumisana ngayo ngokuphumelelayo ebudlelwaneni bakho besikhathi eside.

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6. Ukwenza umuntu ongcono

“Uma sithanda, sihlala silwela ukuba ngcono kunathi. Uma silwela ukuba ngcono kunathi, yonke into esizungezile iba ngcono.” - UPaul Coelho, The Alchemist. Uma ubudlelwano bakho bukuvumela ukuthi ukhule njengomuntu futhi bungavimbeli intuthuko yakho, usubeke isisekelo sobudlelwano obunempilo.

Indoda kufanele yenzeni kumkayo? Iba umngane ekukhuleni kwakhe siqu. Kungenzeka umazi kahle umuntu ozoshada naye kodwa ingabe ukwenza ufune ukuba umuntu ongcono? Sithembe, abantu baba ngcono ngemva kokuthandana! Kubaluleke kakhulu ukubopha ifindo lempilo yonke nendoda eveza okuhle kuwe ngokuthi:

• Ukukugqugquzela ukuthi weqe imikhawulo yakho
• Ukuhlonipha umuzwa wakho wamathumbu esikhundleni sokukuthathela izinqumo
• Ukuhlonipha indawo yakho / isikhathi uwedwa

7. Akakuvimbeli noma ubudlelwano bakho

Awumdingi umlingani ozisebenzelayo okunikeza isikhathi esinzima lapho uqinisekisa ukuzimela kwakho. Yebo, amadoda amaningi athambekele ekubeni nemingcele kakhulu kubafazi bawo. Iminyaka yesimo se-patriarchal ibenza bangaboni amaphethini athile okuziphatha ayinkinga, njengokuthi,

• Ukufuna ukwazi ukuthi ukuphi ngaso sonke isikhathi
• Ukulawula ukuthi ubani ongakwazi ukuzihlanganisa naye
• Ukuthatha ilungelo labo lokugunyaza noma ukungavumeli ukukhetha kwakho kwezingubo

Ekhulwini lama-21, izimfanelo ze-20 zendoda enhle zihlanganisa leli khono lokukuphatha njengomuntu olinganayo nozakwethu ngobuqotho beqiniso, hhayi njengomuntu okudingeka amvikele noma amsindise emhlabeni. Abesifazane akudingeki batshelwe ukuthi benzeni futhi bangakwenzi. Okwenza umyeni oqotho ukugqugquzela ukuthi uzame izinto ezintsha esikhundleni sokukubekela imingcele. Uma uzama ukuthola ukuthi yini okufanele uyibheke kumyeni, thola umuntu othembela kuwe ngokwanele ukuthi akuvumele ukuthi uzenzele izinqumo futhi ongahlehlisi ngokwanele ukuze alawule impilo yakho. Uyalingana, hhayi i-pawn yakhe.

8. Ukulungele ukuyekethisa lapho kudingeka

Yebo, uzophila impilo ejabulisayo enezinkumbulo ezimnandi. Kodwa futhi uzoba nokungavumelani. Akwenzeki ukuthi nobabili nibe sekhasini elilodwa impilo yenu yonke. Ungase futhi ungene ezingxabanweni ngenxa yemibono ehlukene. Izingxabano zivamile, futhi ngandlela-thile, ziyadingeka. Kodwa-ke, izinto zizoqala ukwehla uma ehlala elindele ukuthi uhlehlise.

Ukuqiniseka ukuthi akenzi iphutha akuzona neze phakathi kwezimfanelo ezinhle zesoka ezimenza afanelekele ukuba ngumyeni. A ubuhlobo obunempilo ibiza izinhlangothi zombili ukuthi ziyekethise ngesikhathi esithile. Ngakho, nazi izici zomyeni omuhle:

• Umqondo ovulekile nokuzimisela ukuthatha umgwaqo ophakeme
• Ukuvuthwa ngokomzwelo nokuxhumana okuhle ukuze kuxazululwe izingxabano ezinempilo
• Ikhono lokuba nezingxoxo ezibalulekile lapho uzizwa uphansi

Umqeqeshi wobudlelwano oqinisekisiwe Shivangi Anil uyagcizelela, "Ukubona izimpawu zokungalingani, sidinga ukunaka ukuthi amandla okwenza izinqumo akuphi. Futhi ngesinqumo, angiqondile izinqumo zezezimali noma ezinkulu zodwa. Izinqumo mayelana nokuthi uhlala kuphi, ukuthi udlani, nokuthi nobabili nisebenzisana nani njengombhangqwana. Ukungalingani kuphethe amandla angalingani ashukumisayo lapho umuntu osesikhundleni esinamandla amakhulu angabeka izidingo nezimfuno zakhe komunye umuntu. amandla ashukumisayo kungavula nendlela yokuhlukunyezwa nobudlova.”

9. Muhle embhedeni

Kuye kwaba nezimo eziningi lapho abesifazane bethola abayeni babo benothando, bekhathalela, futhi benokuqonda. Nokho abakajabuli nhlobo emshadweni wabo ngoba abayeni babo abakwazi abanelise embhedeni. Uma ucubungula izinto okufanele uzibheke kumyeni, ukufanelana kwakho kwezocansi njengombhangqwana kufanele kuhlanganiswe. Kulelo nothi, nazi izimfanelo okufanele uzibheke endodeni:

• Uyazwelana nokwamukela izifiso nezidingo zakho zocansi
• Uphusha imingcele yenjabulo kuwe
• Ungakhuluma naye ngalokho okhululekile ngakho, nokuthi yini ekujabulisayo
• Uyakuqonda ukubaluleka kokuvuma futhi uyakwazisa

Ungayithathi kalula lena, ingenye yezimfanelo ezibaluleke kakhulu zomkhwenyana omuhle. Empeleni ucwaningo luveza ukuthi abantu besifazane bayakopela ebudlelwaneni ukuze bengezelele kubo, hhayi ukubuqeda. Izifundo baphinde baveze ukuthi u-80% wabesifazane bakokotela i-orgasm yabo ngesikhathi socansi.

10. Unezimiso ezifanayo nezakho

Ukungaboni ngaso linye kuyinto eyodwa kodwa uma umaqondana wakho engahlanganyeli ngezindinganiso ezifanayo nezakho, maningi amathuba okuthi umshado wakho uphenduke inkundla yempi. U-Patty no-Jake base bendawonye iminyaka engaphezu kwemibili, futhi nakuba u-Jake wayengakawubuzi lo mbuzo, izimpawu wayefuna ukumshada bonke babelapho. Ngosuku lwangoLwesihlanu ebusuku, uPatty wakhuluma ngesihloko sezingane ezizayo, okuxakile ukuthi abakaze bakhulume ngaso.

Kwaba njalo, u-Jake wayefuna umndeni omkhulu kanti u-Patty wayencike ekuphileni okungenayo ingane. Lokhu kuhlukana kwemibono kugcine kubahlukanise. Yingakho ukuxoxa ngezindinganiso kubalulekile lapho kuhlolwa izimfanelo zabayeni bazo. Uma kwenzeka umlingani wakho enomehluko ngezindinganiso, udinga ukuqinisekisa ukuthi okungenani uyahlonipha lapho umi khona. Ngakho-ke, uma uhlola izimfanelo zalowo ongase abe umyeni, ukuhambisana kwamagugu ayisisekelo kuyinto ebalulekile empilweni yangempela. Lawa manani angabandakanya:

• Izinkolelo zezenkolo/ezingokomoya
• Indlela yezezimali
• Ukukhetha indlela yokuphila (ukuphuza/ukubhema/ukubhema)
• Imibono ngokuzibophezela nokwethembeka
• Imibono yekusasa nomndeni

11. Ubheke ngabomvu ukwenza izinto ezintsha nawe

Ngeke ulindele ukuthi umyeni wakho akumangaze ngezinto ezintsha nsuku zonke, kodwa kufanele akujabulele ukuzama izinto ezintsha nawe. Kungaba kuncane njengokuzama indawo yokudlela entsha ehlinzeka ngokudla kwaseShayina noma kube kukhulu njengokuhamba nge-paragliding. Omunye wakho obalulekile kufanele abheke phambili ekuzameni nasekuhloleni ukuzizwisa okusha nawe.

Yingakho ukulangazelela ukuphila kuphakathi kwezimfanelo okufanele uzibheke kumyeni. Ngaphandle kwayo, i monotony yokuphila komshado kungathatha ngokushesha. Uma ubuzibuza ukuthi ungamchaza kanjani umyeni ongcono kakhulu, "Umuntu ongahlola naye umhlaba" yindawo enhle yokuqala. Futhi, umuntu otshalwe imali njalo ehlola ukuthi angaba kanjani umyeni omuhle.

12. Ungaxhumana naye ngakho konke

Ungase uphatheke kabi ngomlingani wakho, kodwa uyazi ukuthi ungakhuluma naye ngokukukhathazayo. Ngakho, ukuxhumana okukhulu futhi ukusabela kuyizimfanelo zomngane omuhle emshadweni. Uma indoda yakho ingumfana olungile, uzokwazi ukukhuluma naye ngezinkinga ezinzima futhi ungesabi ukusabela kwakhe. Uzokulalela futhi abhekane nezinkinga zakho esikhundleni sokuthi ukuphikisana kwakho akuvumelekile.

Ngakho-ke, amakhono amahle okulalela angenye yezimfanelo ezingaxoxiswana zomyeni omuhle. A cwaningo eyenziwe nguFaye Doell ibonise ukuthi kunezinhlobo ezimbili ezihlukene zokulalela: “ukulalela ukuze uqonde” kanye “nokulalela ukuze uphendule”. Labo “abalalela ukuze baqonde” banokwaneliseka okukhulu ebudlelwaneni babo nabanye abantu kunabanye. Nakuba abantu bengase bacabange ukuthi balalele ukuze baqonde, abakwenzayo ngempela ukulinda ukuphendula.

13. Uyazazisa izimfanelo zakho ezinhle futhi uyazamukela ezimbi

Wonke umuntu unamaphutha. Udinga nje ukubheka umuntu olungile ongaphila namaphutha akho nawe, owabo. Umyeni ofanelekayo angakwazisa ngazo zonke izimfanelo zakho ezinhle kodwa futhi uyozamukela ezimbi zakho. Ngakho-ke, ungumuntu wezinto ezibonakalayo uma engenzi:

• Ukuthethisa uma wenza amaphutha
• Ukukubukela phansi njalo uma ukhathazekile
• Ukucela ukuthi uguqule ukuthi ungubani emqondweni wakho

Ngeke akuthande kancane ngenxa yokuthi awuligcini ikhabethe lakho lihlanzekile noma ngenxa yokuthi uhlala sekwephuzile, kodwa uzokusiza ukuba ube inguqulo yakho engcono ukuze kuzuze wena. Uma ungacacile ngokuthi iziphi izimfanelo umyeni okufanele abe nazo, gcina isineke nokubekezelelana kuphezulu ohlwini lwakho.

14. Akadingi njalo “ukunqoba”

Akuyona nje eyodwa yezimfanelo okufanele uzibheke kumyeni kodwa kubo bonke ubuhlobo obuchumayo othandweni. Akunakuphikwa ukuthi izingxabano nokungqubuzana akunakugwenywa kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo. Umbhangqwana ovuthiwe unekhono lokulungisa izinkinga futhi uzixazulule esikhundleni sokuthi:

• Ukushintsha icala
• ukukhanya kwegesi
• I-Stonewalling

Umyeni ovuthiwe ngokomzwelo/onomthwalo wemfanelo angavuma ukuxazulula izinkinga futhi angaqhubeki nengxabano ukuze nje ayinqobe nganoma iyiphi indlela. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, i-narcissist noma umlingani onobuthi angazama ukukwehlisa ngokukudikibalisa, ukukusola, futhi akubone ungenakukwazi. Awufuni lolo hlobo lwe-negativity/vibe embi emshadweni wakho. Ngakho, izici zomyeni kufanele zihlanganise amakhono okuxazulula izinkinga, esikhundleni sesidingo sokuwina ngazo zonke izindlela.

15. Uyakusekela izinkanuko zakho

Yiziphi izimfanelo zendoda elungile ongashada nayo? Udinga umuntu oweseka izinqumo zakho futhi omele wena. Nakuba lokhu kungase kubonakale njengokunikeziwe, ngeshwa, naphezu kwezikhathi ezithuthukayo esiphila kuzo, amadoda amaningi asalindele ukuthi abafazi bawo badlale ifilimu yesibili emshadweni. Isibonelo, emishadweni eminingi, enye ye izimfanelo zenkosikazi ekahle kuwukuyeka umsebenzi wakhe ngemva komntwana uma izimo ziphoqa. Nokho, lokhu akusebenzi ngempela enkathini yanamuhla.

Umyeni wakho ongase abe umyeni wakho udinga ukuba nelukuluku mayelana nezinkanuko zakho futhi enze konke okusemandleni akhe ukukusiza ukuba uziphishekele. Thola indoda ezokuphakamisa esikhundleni sokukwehlisa. Enye yezimfanelo ezibabazekayo zomyeni wesikhathi esizayo ukuthi uba umthokozisi wakho omkhulu futhi ikuphushe ukuthi uphishekele amaphupho nezinhloso zakho.

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16. Izici okufanele uzibheke kumyeni: Uphatha kahle umndeni wakho

Umshado ojabulisayo awukona nje ukuhlangana kwabantu ababili kodwa nowemindeni emibili. Umlingani wakho angase angabi nezinkinga ekuboniseni uthando kuwe, kodwa uma yena awuwuphathi umndeni wakho ngendlela efanele ukuphathwa ngayo, akakufanele. Kungezinye zezinto okumele zibhekwe kumyeni abantu abaningi abangazinaki kakhulu, okuholela ekutheni kube nokungqubuzana namagqubu. Ukugwema ukuchitha isikhathi nomndeni wakho, ukuwubiza ngamagama, ukuphikisana nawo, nokuvele ungawuhloniphi ngawo wonke amathuba kuwuphawu lwendoda engavuthiwe, enenzondo. Umyeni onokwethenjelwa ngeke akuthande futhi akuhloniphe nje kuphela kodwa nomndeni wakho nawo.

17. Akancikile ngokuphelele kuwe

Emshadweni, abashadile baqala ukuthembela komunye nomunye ezintweni eziningi. Lokho nje ukuhleleka kwezinto kwemvelo. Nokho, kunomehluko phakathi kobudlelwane obuncike komunye nomunye kanye nobudlelwano obuncikene. Nakuba okokuqala kunempilo, lokhu kwakamuva kuwuphawu lobuthi. Kuyaqondakala ukuthi udinga umlingani onganciki kuwe kuze kube yilapho ubuwena buncipha ukuze ube umnakekeli wakhe waphakade.

Udinga ukubheka umyeni ozokwazi ukuphila ngaphandle kokuthi ube around 24/7. Kufanele akwazi ukuphatha imisebenzi yasekhaya yedwa, esikhundleni sokuba a myeni livila. Kufanele akwazi uku:

• Pheka ukudla uma umatasa
• Apakishe izikhwama zakhe ohambweni lomsebenzi
• Hlanganyela isabelo sakhe semithwalo yemfanelo njengomzali

18. Uyakukhuthaza ukuthi uphile ngaphandle kobudlelwane bakho

Umyeni ofanelekayo angaqonda ukuthi ukuphila kwakho akuhlali kugxile emshadweni wakho. Ukukhuluma ngendawo enempilo ebuhlotsheni, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo UJaseena Backer uthi, "Lesi sikhala kufanele sikhululeke ngokwanele kozakwethu futhi singabi sikhulu ngokwanele ukuze kungene umuntu wesithathu." 

Isikhala ebudlelwaneni akulona uphawu oluthusayo futhi umyeni omuhle uyakwazi ukukubona lokho. Yiziphi izimfanelo indoda okufanele ibe nayo? Ikhono lokubona ukuthi ungumuntu ozimele onezidingo zakho, izinto ozithandayo, nezingathandwa kufanele nakanjani lenze lisike. Ngakho-ke, imisebenzi yomyeni omuhle ukukukhuthaza ukuthi:

• Thatha imisebenzi emisha
• Zihlanganyele nabangani bakho
• Chitha isikhathi nawe
• Zama izinto ezintsha ngaphandle kwakhe

19. Uzivumela ukuba abe sengozini nawe

Isazi sobudlelwano Ridhi Golechha ithi, “Abesilisa nabesifazane babhekana nobuhlungu ngendlela ehlukile. Amadoda agcina ecindezele ubuhlungu bawo obungokomzwelo, okuwenza bushube nakakhulu. Bafaka isifihla-buso somgunyathi sesibindi futhi abakwazi ukuthola uzwela umuntu obonisa ukuba sengozini akwazi ukuluthola. Futhi, amadoda asebenzisa ezinye imigudu ukuze aqondise ubuhlungu bawo (njengentukuthelo, impindiselo, ulaka, noma ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba).”

Amadoda avame ukulwa nayo ukusondelana ngokomzwelo. Uma uthola umuntu ongesabi ukuyeka ukuqapha, ekuvumela ukuba ubone ubuthakathaka bakhe, ubale phakathi kwezimfanelo zomyeni omuhle. Mshade uma:

• Ithatha izinyathelo zokukuvulela isifuba
• Akudingi ukufakazela ukuthi unamandla/macho kangakanani
• Uchitha isikhathi sekhwalithi, lapho ekhombisa uhlangothi lwakhe olusengozini

20. Ubheke ngabomvu ukuqala impilo nawe

Ukuba ngumyeni akuyona inkomishi yetiye yawo wonke umuntu. Ngakho-ke, uma engazimisele ngempela ukushada futhi ekwenza ngenxa yengcindezi noma umuzwa wesibopho, ubuhlobo benu bushaye amadwala ngokushesha ngokwanele. A indoda efuna ngempela ukushada lizakwazi kusukela ekuqaleni.

Angase ayithathe kancane, kodwa kancane kancane azokwenza kube sobala kakhulu. Ngisho noma ekucela ukuthi ulinde lapho efinyelela isikhundla esithile emsebenzini noma ehola inani elithile lemali, noma kunjalo uzogcina izinga lokuzinikela. Lesi sifiso sokukubona naye esikhathini esizayo ngaphandle kokuthi uqagele noma uzibuze ukuthi ubudlelwano benu buphokophelephi kuyimfanelo enhle ekhomba ukuthi ungumyeni wakho.

Umshado, ekupheleni kosuku, ungaphezu kokuthandana. Uma wenza isifungo sokuchitha impilo nomuntu, uzodinga okungaphezu nje kothando ukuze ukwazi ukuzulazula emanzini adungekile ozohlangana nawo nakanjani. Uma uphawule izimfanelo eziningi okufanele uzibheke kumyeni futhi wazi ukuthi umlingani wakho uzokusekela phakathi neminyaka yonke, amanzi amdaka aba lula kakhulu ukugwedla.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Zomshado Ophumelelayo

Izinto Eziyi-8 Ongayenza Uma Ungajabulile Emshadweni

Izinto Ezincane Ezingu-23 Ezenza Umshado Wakho Uqine Nsuku Zonke

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.