Umyeni wami uthukuthele futhi uthukuthele ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngomzuzu nje engena emnyango, amandla endlu ayashintsha futhi nomoya unzima ngenxa yokushuba kwesimo. Angazi nje ukuthi yini engingayenza ukuze ngimsize yena nomshado wethu ngoba kubonakala sengathi ungivalele ngaphandle ngokuphelele," uJoanna wasibhalela, efuna ukuqonda ochwepheshe mayelana nendlela engcono yokubhekana nalesi simo. Uma usesimweni esifanayo, ungase ubhekane nokukhungatheka nokungakwazi ukuzisiza lapho umyeni wakho esesimweni esibi esibonakala singenakulungiseka.
Uma ubhekene nesimo esinzima lapho umyeni wakho enomsindo futhi ekude, kungase kubonakale sengathi umshado wakho ufinyelele esiphethweni. Nokho, isimo singase singabi sibi ngendlela esingase sibonakale ngayo lapho usukhathele ukusebenzelana nendoda eguquguqukayo, usuku nosuku. Futhi imibhangqwana eminingi eshadile idlula kulezi zigaba lapho ukucasuka kanye nobuhlanya bubusa kakhulu ekuguquguqukeni kwabo.
Sonke siyazi ukuthi umshado awuwona umbhede wezimbali, futhi ukubuyela ekhaya kumngane womshado ocasukile kungenza kube nzima nakakhulu. Ukuba nomyeni ohlakaniphile kungaba umsebenzi onzima futhi awukwazi ukuhlale ufisela oshade naye ukuthi ajabule. Ukuhlala nendoda eguquguqukayo akulula. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma umyeni wakho egxeka, ethukuthele, futhi ethukuthele ngaso sonke isikhathi, ungase uzizwe ucindezelekile futhi ulahlekelwe futhi. Ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomyeni ohlakaniphile ngaphandle kokufaka umshado wakho engozini. Kubalulekile ukuthi uqonde imbangela yale nkinga kuqala bese uyilungisa ngomqondo ohluzekile.
Yini eyenza Abayeni babe Cranky?
Okuqukethwe
“Umyeni wami ungumuntu ongalungile ngaso sonke isikhathi futhi angazi nokuthi yini ezombangela.” Uma lowo kuwumuzwa ongahlobana nawo, kungase kuzwakale sengathi unjalo ukuhamba ngamagobolondo amaqanda ebuhlotsheni bakho. Ukungakhululeki kanye nokungezwani okudlangile okuvela esimweni somyeni wakho ocasukile kungakwenza uzizwe ucindezelwe.
Lapho ukuhlala nomngane womshado oguquguqukayo kukwenza uzizwe sengathi uphonswa ekhoneni, kungaba nzima ukubheka ukusabela komyeni wakho kanye nezimpendulo endaweni yozwela. Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukuthi ukwenze ngoba ekuqondeni izizathu zephethini yakhe yokuziphatha kungase kube imfihlo yokuchaza indlela yokubhekana nomyeni othanda ukumomotheka. Nazi ezinye izizathu okungenzeka ukuthi kungani umyeni wakho eguquguquka futhi ekude:
- Inzalamizi isimo: Umphakathi wezinzalamizi esiphila kuwo uphoqa amadoda ukuthi aziphathe ngendlela ethile. Umyeni ohlakaniphile angabonisa indlela akhuliswe ngayo. Angase azame ukuphila ngokuvumelana nesifiso sowesilisa esibekwe othile futhi abe nomuzwa wokuthi uhlale ehluleka ukwenza kanjalo.
- Izidingo ezingakafinyelelwa zezingane: Angase athwale ukuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo kwezidingo zakhe ezingokomzwelo ezingahlangatshezwanga lapho eseyingane. Yonke leyo mizwa ecindezelwe ingase iphume ngezindlela ezingenampilo, ikushiye uzizwe sengathi unamathele kumyeni onolaka.
- Izinkinga zempilo yengqondo: Ngenxa yezinkinga zakhe ezingokomzwelo ezingaxazululiwe, kungenzeka ukuthi ubhekene nezinkinga zempilo yengqondo ezinjengokucindezeleka noma ukukhathazeka okumenza abonakale ekude, ebanda, ehoxile noma ecasuka noma eshesha.
- Izici zangaphandle: Ngezinye izikhathi, isimo sakhe sengqondo sokucasuka nokucasuka kungase kube ukusabela ezimweni okungenzeka ukuthi ubhekene nazo. Mhlawumbe, unosuku olubi (noma izinsuku) noma angase acindezeleke ngenxa yengcindezi yomsebenzi nokunye okunjalo
- Izinkinga zobudlelwano ezingaxazululiwe: Uma uzithola ucabanga ukuthi, “Umyeni wami uhlale esesimweni esibi ngami kodwa hhayi abanye”, kungase kusize ukubuzisisa kancane futhi ubone ukuthi zikhona yini izinkinga ezingaxazululiwe phakathi kwenu okungenzeka zimxoshe kini futhi zikuphathe ngendelelo esikhundleni sothando nothando.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Ezincane Ezingu-23 Ezenza Umshado Wakho Uqine Nsuku Zonke
Izindlela Eziyi-13 Zokubhekana Nomyeni Oyi-cranky
"Umyeni wami ungumuntu ongalungile ngaso sonke isikhathi." “Umyeni wami uthukuthele futhi uthukuthele ngaso sonke isikhathi.” “Nginomyeni omdala onamagqubu.” Imicabango enjengalena ingase iqale ukukukhathaza uma umngane wakho wokuphila ecasuka futhi emfushane kuwe, ethatha kancane, futhi uhleko nenjabulo kubonakala sengathi kuphelile emshadweni wakho. Kungase kuqale ukuzizwa sengathi unamathele ku- umshado ongenaluthando ngaphandle kwethemba lokubuyisana.
Kodwa-ke, umshado wakho ungase ungabi imbangela elahlekile ingqondo yakho ecindezelekile ngokomzwelo okwenza ube yiyo. Uma usuhlole izizathu ezingabangela ukuziphatha komyeni wakho onolaka, ungase ube nohlobo oluthile lombono mayelana nendlela yokubhekana nomyeni oguquguqukayo. Akusadingeki ukuthi ushiye phansi ubhekane nesiphetho sokuhlala nomyeni omdala onamagqubu ungazi ukuthi kungani ehlala eguquguquka, futhi ukhala ngokuthi, “Umyeni wami usesimweni esibi.”
Manje njengoba usuthathe isinyathelo ngendlela efanele, silapha ukuze sikusize wenze inqubekelaphambili emizamweni yakho yokulungisa lesi simo. Ukuze wenze lokho, nazi izindlela eziyi-13 ezingakusiza ukuthi ubhekane nomyeni okhohlakele:
1. Muzwe
Kulula ukuwela ogibeni lokuzidabukela bese uthi, “Nginomyeni omdala onamagqubu ongenasithakazelo kimi noma ekwenzeni lo mshado usebenze.” Kuthiwani esikhundleni sokuthi ukhale ngokuthi yini engasebenzi emshadweni wakho, uthatha izinyathelo zokulungisa izinto. Ngalokho, kubalulekile ukuba ulalele lokho akushoyo ngaphambi kokuwela ogibeni lokwahlulela.
Angase acasuke ngenxa yesizathu sangempela. Angakhombisa ukucasuka kwakhe ndawo ngaphandle kwakho phambi kwakho futhi uma udala udonga futhi, angase angabi nandawo angaya kuyo. Vumela umyeni wakho onobuhlakani aveze okuningi ngangokunokwenzeka futhi umuzwe ngesineke ukuze uthole ukuthi yini engalungile ukuze umsize ekubhekaneni nakho ngendlela enempilo. Ukuba yisilaleli esihle ibaluleke kakhulu empilweni yobudlelwano futhi ingakusiza ukuthi ubhekane nezindaba zakho ngempumelelo kakhulu.
2. Xolisa
Uma uzithola ulahlekelwe indlela futhi ungakwazi ukuzibamba kodwa uzibuze ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuthi, “Umyeni wami uguquguquka futhi uthukuthele ngaso sonke isikhathi, yini engingayenza ukuze ngilungise lesi simo?”, zama ukumxolisa ngokusuka enhliziyweni ngokungakwazi ukumsiza lapho kusobala ukuthi ubhekene nokuthile. Kulungile ukuxolisa ngezinye izikhathi uma kuyilokho okudingekayo ukuze umenze azizwe engcono ngoba maningi amathuba okuthi uma nje usuxolisile uzobona ukuthi yini ebimthukuthelisile futhi avume.
Umyeni wakho onolaka futhi onolaka angase akhathazwe indaba ejulile angase akwembulele yona ngokushesha ngemva kokuba ubonise umusa othile kuye. Uma kuyinto enkulu, angase aphule. Ukuxolisa kumuntu omthandayo kuyindlela yokuphula iqhwa engahluleki neze ukusebenza kunoma ibuphi ubudlelwano. Izomthulisa futhi uzokwazi ukucabanga kahle. Uzokuhlonipha futhi ngokuxolisa ngempela ukuze azizwe ezolile lapho bekungelona ngisho iphutha lakho. Yilokho okwenzayo ukuvimba abantu ukuba bathukuthele.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-10 Ezinekhono Zokubhekana Nomyeni Othukuthele
3. Ungazizwa ucasukile
Nakuba kukuhle ukuzizwa kabi ngalokho akusho kuwe lapho ethukuthele, kubalulekile ukuba uzikhumbuze ukuthi kungenzeka ubengaqondile futhi uzame ukungakucasuli . Khumbula, uhlakaniphile, futhi angase asebenzise ukukhononda nokukhala njengendlela yokukhulula imizwa engemihle. Ukukhuluma izinto ezilimazayo ebudlelwaneni ngokuqinisekile kuyayilimaza kodwa kuzothatha isikhathi ngaphambi kokuba akwazi ukukala lokho akushoyo.
Kuzodingeka ubhekane naye ngendlela ezolile futhi uqonde ukuthi udlula kokuthile okubalulekile okuholela ekuziphatheni kwakhe okusheshayo. Kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza kodwa zama ngangokunokwenzeka, ukungathathi amazwi akhe siqu. Kodwa-ke, uma egcina esho izinto ezilimazayo ngempela ezihlambalaza ngamazwi, kufanele udwebe umugqa futhi umazise lapho ezolile ukuthi ngeke akwazi ukukuphatha ngaleyo ndlela. Angeke thatha wena kalula.
4. Qonda imbangela yokuziphatha kwakhe
Uma umyeni wakho eguquguquka futhi ekude, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi yini ebangela ukuba aziphathe ngale ndlela. Kufanele kube nesizathu ngemuva kokuziphatha kwakhe kwe-cranky. Kungaba umphathi wakhe emsebenzini, imizwa yakhe ecindezelekile iphuma, noma inkinga enkulu yempilo azigcina kuye. Kuzomele uhlale naye phansi ukhulume naye umsize adlule kukho. Ukuxhumana okuphumelelayo kunamandla okuxazulula ngisho nenkinga enkulu kakhulu.
Kungenzeka futhi ukuthi uke wambona uyise eziphatha kanjalo nonina futhi useze wagila lo mkhuba womyeni wakhe. Umyeni wakho udla lubi futhi ukude ngoba ebone uyise enjalo futhi unomuzwa wokuthi kuyindlela efanele. Mphenye kancane futhi ungafinyelela ekugcineni kwalokhu.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-11 Zokuthuthukisa Ukuxhumana Ebudlelwaneni
5. Mnike isikhala
Indlela yokubhekana nomyeni one-moody? Enye yezindlela ezilula zokubhekana nalolu daba kungaba ukuziqhelelanisa nalesi simo isikhathi esithile. Isikhala sivamise ukubukelwa phansi. Ebudlelwaneni, ukunikeza yakho umlingani indawo ethile yomuntu siqu ibasiza ukuba baxazulule izinkinga zabo, babhekane nokungazethembi kwabo futhi bacabange ngezinkinga zabo ngokuzimela. Kuyasiza ekukhuliseni ubudlelwano futhi buvumele ukuthi bukhule futhi buchume.
Umyeni wakho onenhliziyo embi kungenzeka ukuthi ubhekene nento enkulu empilweni yakhe futhi kungase kube nesizathu sokuthi kungani engazange abelane nawe ngakho. Kungase kubonakale ekuziphatheni kwakhe ukuthi kukhona okumhluphayo kodwa akafuni ukukuvuma kodwa njengomlingani omesekayo, kumele amnike isikhala sakhe aze alungele ukwabelana. Akulungile ukugadla kumyeni onolaka noma ukumthethisa uma engakakulungeli.
Kunalokho, thatha isikhathi sokuphumula - kusihlwa, usuku, impelasonto - futhi ugxile kokuthile okujabulelayo nokukulethela injabulo. Ukusebenzelana nomyeni oguquguqukayo kungase kukushiye ukhathele ngokomzwelo. Ngakho-ke sebenzisa lesi sikhathi ukuze uzigcwalise kuyilapho unikeza umyeni wakho isikhala sokubhekana nokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo.
6. Mphathe ngokunakekela nangothando
Sonke sidinga kancane uthando nokuqonda lapho sidlula kokuthile. Kuyafana ngamadoda nakuba, ngokuvamile angase angakusho, qiniseka ukuthi alangazelela uthando nokunakekelwa njengoba nje nomuntu olandelayo. Njengomfazi, kungase kube nzima ngawe ukuba usebenzelane nomyeni ongenangqondo noma umyeni ohlale esesimweni esibi kodwa uzame konke ongakwenza ukubhekana naye ngothando.
Ukwenza ezimbalwa isenzo esincane sothando kuye kungase kube yikho konke okudingayo ukuze uthole ukungezwani ebudlelwaneni bakho kunciphe. Ngezinye izikhathi, uthando lungaba inkemba engcono kakhulu yokunqoba izimpi. Singaqonda ukuthi ukuthandana noma ukuthanda kungase kungabi into elula uma umyeni wakho eguquguquka futhi ekude kodwa kufanele uzame.
Lapho ecasukile, ungaya kuye, umqabule esiphongweni futhi umqinisekise ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuyini, konke kuzolunga ekugcineni.Lokhu kungase kuvele kwenze iqhinga! Izinto ezincane zihamba ibanga elide. Uma unomyeni ogxekayo, uthando lwakho lungamzuza. Futhi awudingi ngempela ukulungisa phezu kokwazi isizathu sokuthi kungani umyeni wakho ecasukile, udinga nje ukumtshela ukuthi ukhona kuye.
7. Sebenzisa amahlaya akho ngendlela efanele
Njengoba besho, imibhangqwana ehleka ndawonye, nihlale ndawonye. Uma ezothando kungasebenzi, khona-ke amahlaya angaba nje. Ngokusekelwe, uyisebenzisa ngendlela efanele. Khumbula, inkemba esika nhlangothi zombili. Kungase kumenze aqhume uhleko akhohlwe okwakumkhathaza noma kumcasule nakakhulu. Lapho ethukuthele, ihlaya elincane mayelana nokuthile lingase linciphise umoya inqobo nje uma lingacasuli nganoma iyiphi indlela.
Khumbula ukuthi kunomugqa omuhle phakathi kwamahlaya nokubhuqa. Ungamthatheli ama-potshots noma ukhulume amazwi ahlabayo egameni lokuhlekisa bese ulindela ukuthi uzofudumala kuwe. Uma usebenzisa amahlaya namahlaya njengendlela yokukhulula intukuthelo yakho kuye kanye nesimo somshado wakho, maningi amathuba okuthi ungaqhubeka umqhelelanise nomyeni wakho onolaka.
8. Vumelana naye okwamanje
Ukusebenzelana nomyeni oguquguqukayo kuhlanganisa ukulinganisela phakathi kokwazi ukuthi kufanele ume nini lapho uqinile nalapho uvumela izinto ezimbalwa zishelele. Ngentshisekelo yokushaya le bhalansi, ungase uthande ukucabangela ukuvumelana nombono wakhe ezindabeni ezimkhathazayo. Ungase ungafuni ngoba awuyena umuntu ophushayo kodwa uma esebila ngolaka, kuhle uvumelane naye ngaleso sikhathi kunokuba umchukuluze nakakhulu. Noma ungakhetha ukungathathi hlangothi futhi uzwe nje ngaphandle kokuphikisa.
Lokho akusho ukuthi ulungile kanti wena unephutha. Kusho nje ukuthi uyabazisa ubudlelwano nempilo yakhe yengqondo ngaphezu kwalokho okwazisayo ukunqoba ingxabano. Yiba ngumuntu ovuthiwe futhi umane unqekuzise ikhanda. Ungakwazi njalo ukubuyela kuye uma esehlise umoya futhi umenze aqonde umbono wakho.
9. Qhubeka umkhumbuza ukuthi ubalulekile kuwe
Umuntu okhathele ukubhekana nento ethile eyedwa nakanjani uzocasuka futhi abe nenhliziyo ebuhlungu. Uzohlala eshesha ngaso sonke isikhathi. Asikukhuthazi ukuziphatha komngane wakho womshado oguquguqukayo, kodwa sikunikeza nje omunye umbono ngesimo: ukuntula isineke nokucasuka kuwukusabela okungokwemvelo lapho umuntu ezizwa egajwe yisimo sakhe.
Ekusebenzelaneni nomyeni oguquguqukayo, ububele nozwela abangane bakho abakhulu. Kumele uzame ukuzifaka ezicathulweni zakhe ukuze uqonde ukuthi kungani eziphatha ngendlela aziphatha ngayo. Futhi umnikeze uthando alulangazelelayo, ngaphakathi. Qhubeka utshela umyeni wakho onobuhlakani, ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani, ubelokhu engumuntu obaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni kwakho futhi uyohlale ebaluleke kakhulu. Mkhumbuze ngalokho futhi kancane kancane uzoyeka ukuqondisa intukuthelo yakhe kuwe. Qinisekisa, ubonise uthando futhi ube nomusa ngaso sonke isikhathi.
10. Ungakwenzi ukukhononda kwakhe kube yimbangela yengxabano
Abantu esibathandayo bathola okuhle kakhulu futhi okubi kakhulu kithi. Uma umyeni wakho eguquguquka futhi ethukuthele ngaso sonke isikhathi, khona-ke kungenzeka ukuthi uhlangothi lwakhe alubonisa kuwe. Ngokuvamile, lapho abantu bethukuthelela amalungu omkhaya wabo, kungenxa yokuthi abakwazi ukucasukela omunye umuntu. Bakhungatheka futhi baqale ukuthethisa wonke umuntu nakho konke ngokungenangqondo. Kuyiqiniso ukuthi nawe ungase ukhungatheke futhi ekupheleni kosuku, ukufika ekhaya kumyeni othukuthele akuyona into ephuphayo noma ubani. Kodwa zama ukungaphindiseli.
Buka lokhu ngendlela eqondile ngaphandle kokuvumela umoya womyeni wakho onamagqubu uguqe kuwe. Zama ukungenzi ukuziphatha kwakhe kube yimbangela yengxabano yenu elandelayo uma kungenjalo, nobabili nizobhajwa ogibeni lokuphoxeka. Kwesinye isikhathi, ukuba nomshado onempilo, kufanele wehlise umoya ngisho noma kungeyona into yokuqala efika engqondweni yakho.
11. Cabanga ngezikhalo zakhe
Uma uzithola uzibuza ukuthi, “Umyeni wami uhlale esesimweni esibi kimina”, noma “Kungani umyeni wami eguquguquka futhi ekude?”, noma “Kungani umyeni wami eguquguquka futhi ethukuthele futhi elokhu ekhononda ngaso sonke isikhathi?”, kungase kube ukuthatha isikhashana ucabange ngezikhalo zakhe futhi ubone ukuthi kukhona yini okumfanele.
Angase akhononde usuku lonke ngayo yonke into futhi okuningi kwakho kungase kubonakale njengokuqhuma okungenamsebenzi kodwa ungakuxoshi, uzitshele, “Nginomyeni omdala onomsindo olokhu ekhononda ngayo yonke into encane.” Naka futhi lokhu kungaveza udaba olujulile futhi kukusize uqonde ukuthi yini emkhathazayo ngempela.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziphezulu Eziyi-15 Zomyeni Ozicabangelayo
12. Mtshele uma eqinisile
Indlela yokubhekana nomyeni one-moody? Yenzani umzamo oqotho wokugqashula enkambweni yokuxabana, ukuqophisana, ukuqophisana, kanye ukugxeka ukuphuma ekuziphenduleleni ngezenzo zakho. Indlela elula yokwenza lokho iwukumbonisa ukwazisa nokwazisa okuthile.
Uma ucabanga ukuthi ezinye zezinto ezishiwo nguye zilungile, zivume. Ayikho into ezokhulisa ukuzethemba kwakhe ngaphezu kwalokho. Ukumeseka kuzosho lukhulu kuyena kulesi sikhathi esinzima empilweni yakhe. Kodwa-ke, kufanele futhi uqinisekise ukuthi awuvumelani nezinto owaziyo ukuthi azilungile ngokuqinisekile. Lokho kubi kini nobabili ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
13. Yenza izinto ezimjabulisayo
Ngezinye izikhathi, lapho kungekho okunye okusebenzayo, yizinto ezincane ezingenza umthelela omkhulu. Mphekele ukudla kwakhe akuthandayo futhi uzuze inhliziyo yakhe ngokudla noma umane ubuke umdlalo webhola kanye naye namaphophukhoni ukuze ukhanyise i-vibe emshadweni wakho. Yenza ubusuku bosuku ngakho futhi usebenzise leli thuba ukuxhumana naye ngokuphindaphindiwe.
Uma umenzela lezi zinto uzobona ukuthi unaye awuphikisani naye futhi kuzokwenza kube lula ukuthi abhekane nezinkinga zakhe nobudlelwano bakho naye buqhakaze. Ukusebenzelana nomyeni ohlakaniphile akuyona ikhekhe. Kudinga inqwaba yesineke futhi awushiyi lutho olutheni ukuze umbuyisele endleleni. Ngalesi sikhathi, kubalulekile ukuthi wenze isiqiniseko sokuthi impilo yakho yengqondo ayithinteki.
Uma ucabanga ukuthi umyeni wakho unesimo sengqondo esisheshayo esingabangelwa yimbangela eyisisekelo futhi uzame konke okusencwadini, akufanele uhlupheke ngaphandle kwesizathu. Uma kungabekezeleleki noma kukubi empilweni yakho, ungaya kumeluleki wemishado futhi ufune usizo. Uma ufuna usizo, abeluleki abanolwazi nabanekhono Iqembu le-Bonobologye zilapha kuwe.
Izinto Eziyi-12 Okufanele Uzenze Lapho Umyeni Wakho Ekhetha Umndeni Wakhe Ngaphezu Kwakho
Izinto Eziyi-12 Okufanele Uzenze Uma Umyeni Engenalo Uthando Noma Engathandi
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Uxolise njalo???? Uyadlala???