Noma ngabe impilo yakho yothando ingaba nesiqalo esihle kangakanani, ziningi izinto ezibhidliza umshado ezingangena empilweni yakho noma kunini. Ibanga, ukuba uwedwa, ukungaboni ngaso linye kanye nezingxabano ezincane kumane kuyisiqephu seqhwa.
Umshado ngokuvamile ubhekwa njengesibopho esihlala ukuphila kwakho konke. Kodwa-ke, kulezi zinsuku ubudlelwano nokulindelwe kuyashintsha cishe nsuku zonke. Lokhu kusho ukuthi ilebula ethi 'phakade-ngemuva' ngokujwayelekile eshaywa emshadweni ingase iyancipha kancane
Yini Ebhidliza Umshado?
Okuqukethwe
Enkathini yabantu ngabanye, umuzwa womphakathi wawungase unciphe, kodwa ukufaneleka komuntu ekugcineni sekuthathe igxathu eliya phambili. Akusekho mayelana nokuyekethisa kozakwethu oyedwa (funda: ikakhulukazi owesifazane) kuyilapho omunye umlingani evuna zonke izinzuzo zenyunyana. Cha, manje sekumayelana nokuqondana nokwenza ngokulinganayo ukuze bobabili bagqugquzeleke ekugcineni ubudlelwano.
Ngale ndlela, imisebenzi ihlukahlukene futhi ukuthola imali nje nokubeka ukudla etafuleni akuhlangabezani nezidingo zenhlangano ebizwa ngokuthi umshado. Kuningi okumelwe kwenziwe ukuze kusekelwe ekusekeleni nasekubekeni uphawu ohlwini lwakho lokuhlola umshado ojabulisayo.
Kodwa kunezinto eziwubhidliza umshado nokushoda kwezinye izinto ezingakutshela mhlawumbe ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi umshado wakho uphezu kwedwala. I-Bonobology ikhulume nemithombo engu-8 futhi silapha ukuze sikutshele ukuthi babethini ngokufana. Yini echitha imishado? Ake sizwe kubo.
1. Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo
Enye yezindlela amadoda abhubhisa ngazo umshado wawo ukuzama ukuba yindoda eqotho ebudlelwaneni. Owesifazane angabekezelela ubuntu obunjalo isikhathi eside. Ekugcineni, naye udinga ukuzwakala futhi akukhona konke afuna ukukusho okungalahleka ekuhunyushweni.
2. Zithande
Uma ubhekene nabesifazane abangazethembi , ubudlelwano buzowohloka uma owesifazane engazisebenzeli yena kuqala. Yebo, umthwalo wakho ungenye yezinto ezibhubhisa umshado uma ungabuzi noma ungatholi usizo ngesikhathi esifanele.
Okokuqala, umuntu kufanele aqale uhambo lokuzithanda ngaphambi kokuba abeke amathemba okuthola uthando kwabanye. Uma kungenjalo, ukungazethembi kwakho kuzoqala ukudla ukuzethemba kwakho kanye nobudlelwano bakho.
3. Khuluma njalo
Umshado awukona nje ukufeza izibopho ezifanele nokuba indoda noma umfazi oqotho. Kuphinde futhi kumayelana nokuhambisana noma isikhathi se-honeymoon sesiphelile noma iminyaka yokuqala isihambile. Inhlansi yothando ingase inciphe kodwa umuntu kufanele enze umzamo oqotho wokukhuluma kakhulu futhi azibandakanye kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yikuphi.
4. Kuhlale kunezinhlangothi ezimbili zendaba
Okubhidliza imishado ukuntuleka kokuthembana nokuxhumana okunempilo. Ukushintshana kwamacala kulula uma ungenzi ngisho nomzamo wokuxazulula inkinga obhekene nayo. Khumbula, umkakho noma umlingani wakho kufanele alalelwe futhi aqashelwe. Zinike isikhathi sokubabuza futhi ubalalele ngalokho abakushoyo. Lesi yisinyathelo sokuqala sokuzijwayeza ukuqonda okunempilo ebudlelwaneni.
5. Ukukopela kungacekela phansi ukuphila
Ukukopela ngokuvamile kuyinto imishado eminingi engase ingakwazi ukubuya kuyo. Nakuba eminye imibhangqwana ibe nenhlanhla ngempela, yathatha iseluleko esifanele futhi yanqoba ukukopela ebuhlotsheni bayo, abanye bavame ukuyeka.
Akunakuphikwa ukuthi enye yezinto ezibhidliza umshado futhi ezingaze zibhidlize umuntu umlingani okhohlisayo. Ngokuvamile kungaholela ezinkingeni zempilo yengqondo iminyaka eminingi futhi kuphazamise ngokuphelele impilo yomndeni wakho.
6. Ukulwa akusona isixazululo
Into yokulwa ukuthi, uma iba ngokweqile futhi idlula emanzini - ivele iphenduke ibe nomsindo. Futhi ngokushesha lowo msindo uphenduka umsindo omhlophe, into ehlala ikhona kodwa akekho oyinakayo.
Lapho ukulwa nezingxabano kuthatha inguquko enjalo, umshado wakho uwohloka kancane kancane. Ngoba amandla akho okuxazulula izingxabano angase abe kude nephuzu lokubuyisela. Kuleli qophelo umuntu kufanele acabangele ngokungathi sína ukwelashwa nokwelulekwa ukuze abuyele emuva futhi ahlole ezinye zezinkinga zomshado wakho.
7. Konke kumayelana nesikhala
Khumbula ukuthi umshado wakho uyindawo yakho yokujabula futhi ungawenza ujabule kuphela uma usebenzisa izindinganiso nemikhuba emihle ukuze uqhubeke usebenza. Ngezinye izikhathi, lapho omamezala abanomona beba namandla kakhulu, umuntu kufanele azame ngokushesha ukuxazulula okufanayo.
Khuluma nomamezala uqhelele umshado wakho kuye. Ngaphandle kokwehluka kwamasiko nesizukulwane, omamezala bavamise ukuzivikela futhi lokho kungenza babe nolaka ngezinye izikhathi ngisho noma beqotho. Yazi uma isiqala ukuba ngenye yezinto ezibhidliza umshado uzame ukubhekana nayo ngokushesha.
8. Hloniphani ukukhetha komunye nomunye
Okuchitha imishado kaningi kunalokho ocabanga ukuthi ukungabi nenhlonipho ebudlelwaneni. Ngokudabukisayo, ukuze umshado uhlale uqhubeka, uthando nje alwanele. Ukuyekethisa, ukuqonda, uzwela kanye nenhlonipho kungenye yezindinganiso eziyinhloko umuntu okumele azikhuthaze ukuze abe nomshado omuhle.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Ukungahloniphi, ukuqhelelana, ukuhluleka ukuqonda, ukulahlekelwa ukusondelana, ukungenelela komndeni ngokweqile ngezinye zezinto ezingenza umshado ube nesiphithiphithi ekugcineni ungaphumeleli.
Uma umuntu oyedwa ehlala ekude, ezizwa enganakiwe, ucansi alusalungi noma nobabili anisathandi ukukhuluma.
Ezinye zezinkinga ezinkulu emshadweni wukungathembeki, ukungakhulumisani nokungahloniphi owakwakho nokukhetha kwakhe.
Izibonelo eziyi-8 Zemingcele Engenampilo Nomfazi Owayengunkosikazi
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
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