Buyini Ubudlelwano bukaPlato? Izinhlobo, Izinzuzo, Imithetho, Futhi Konke Odinga Ukukwazi

Ubudlelwano bakaPlato bubukeka bubuhle ezindabeni, kodwa ingabe bathola indawo emhlabeni ovuswe ucansi? Uma izimo ze-rom-com nesiko le-pop kufanele kukholwelwe, yonke indaba yothando yothando iqala ngobungane obuqotho, obujulile. Lapho yonke i-rom-com oyibona esikrinini esikhulu ikhala ngokuthi ubudlelwano be-platonic buzogcina buphenduke obothando, uqala ukungabaza ukuthi ukuxhumana okunjalo kungahlala yini ngempela.

Ngaphambi kokuthi singene kunoma yikuphi kwalokho, kubalulekile ukuqonda kahle ukuthi ubudlelwano be-platonic buyini, futhi uma bukhawulelwe kuphela ku-bromance/yowesifazane wobulili obufanayo, njengoba amamuvi angasenza sikholwe. Buhluke kanjani ubudlelwano be-platonic nobothando, futhi luyini ngempela uthando lukaplatonic? Ukusula izinganekwane, ake sihlole umhlaba wobudlelwano bukaplatonic ngokuningiliziwe.

Buyini Ubudlelwano bukaPlato?

Kulula njengoba kungaba njalo: Ubudlelwano be-platonic isibopho esiseduze phakathi kwabantu ababili ngaphandle kwesici socansi/zothando. Laba bantu bangase futhi basothandweni kodwa ngeke benze noma yikuphi ukusondelana ngokobulili. Nakuba umqondo wothando lukaplatonic ukhona kakhulu, ezweni lanamuhla, ugxile kakhulu embonweni wokuthi abantu ababili babe abangane abakhulu. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukuphi, ubuhlobo be-platonic bufana nobungane.

Ngokusho kwesichazamazwi se -Merriam-Webster , impendulo yombuzo othi, “Buyini ubudlelwano obusekelwe ku-platonic?” ithi, “Ubuhlobo obuseduze phakathi kwabantu ababili lapho isifiso sobulili singekho khona noma sicindezelwe noma sincishisiwe.” Le ncazelo yethula izikole ezimbili zemicabango kulesi sithombe.

Abanye baphikisa ngokuthi uma umuntu oyedwa (noma bobabili) behlakulela inhloso yocansi komunye (yize bungacindezelwa), ubudlelwano angeke busabhekwa njengobudlelwano "obumsulwa" be-platonic, nakuba bengasondelene ngokocansi ngokwenza. Ukuba khona kwenhloso kwanele ukukudicilela phansi njengobudlelwano be-platonic.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, iningi liyavuma ukuthi kuze kube yilapho abantu ababili benza ucansi, basebudlelwaneni be-platonic. Ekupheleni kosuku, uma uchaza ubudlelwano be-platonic, uthi "abantu abathandana nabo kodwa abangahlanganyeli ocansini."

Uthando lukaPlato lukhona ngoba izizathu zokuthi kungani uthanda umuntu akudingeki zihilele ucansi. Uthando aluxhomekile, ucansi aluqhutshwa uthando ngaso sonke isikhathi, akunjalo? Njengoba luqanjwe ngesazi sefilosofi esingumGreki uPlato, lo mqondo wobudlelwano bukaPlato uvela komunye wemibhalo yakhe ku- The Symposium . Uhlola izincazelo eziningi zothando, kungaba ubuhlobo bocansi obunothando, noma uthando olujulile nolunempilo lukaPlato olushukunyiswa imizwa emsulwa komunye nomunye.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ubuhlobo bukaPlato Vs Ubuhlobo Bothando – Kungani Bobabili Babalulekile?

Izinhlobo Zobudlelwano bukaPlato

Manje njengoba usungakwazi ukuchaza ubudlelwano be-platonic futhi wazi ukuthi kuphambene ngokuphelele nokuba sebudlelwaneni obunobungane nezinzuzo , kungakusiza ukufunda ngezinhlobo zobudlelwano be-platonic, noma kunalokho, amagama esiwahlobanisa kakhulu nalolu hlobo oluguquguqukayo. Ake sibheke ambalwa awo:

• Ubudlelwano be-Queerplatonic: Uhlobo lokuguquguquka olufaka ukuzibophezela okujulile kunobungani nje kodwa okungabandakanyi noma yimiphi imizwa yothando noma yocansi futhi ngokuvamile kuhlotshaniswa nomphakathi ongasho lutho nowokuzijabulisa. Umehluko phakathi kobudlelwano be-queerplatonic kanye nobudlelwano be-platonic ukuthi lobu bakamuva buvame ukuhlotshaniswa nobungane obuseduze, kanti obukuqala bungaba uhlaka lokuzibophezela kwesikhathi eside noma ngisho nokuba umzali oyedwa.
• I-Bromance: Itemu elisetshenziswa ukuchaza ubudlelwano obusondelene kakhulu kodwa obungezona ezothando kanye nokungekona okocansi phakathi kwamadoda amabili
• Owesifazane: Ubudlelwano obusondelene kakhulu phakathi kwabesifazane ababili kodwa obungenabo ukusondelana ngokocansi nemizwa yothando
• Abangane bomsebenzi: Igama elisetshenziselwa ukuchaza umngane womsebenzi umuntu ahlanganyela naye ubuhlobo obuseduze, kodwa imizwa yocansi neyothando kungenzeka ukuthi ayikho noma icindezelwe.

Kafushane nje, izinhlobo zobudlelwano ezibalwe ngenhla ziyizinhlobo zobudlelwano obuhambisanayo ozozibona kaningi. Zonke zihlanganyela izinga elikhulu lokuhloniphana, ukusekelana ngokomzwelo , kanye nobudlelwano obuseduze phakathi kwabantu ababili. Ngesikhathi sikhuluma ngale ndaba, ake sixoxe kancane ngesihloko esivame ukudida abantu: ubudlelwano obuhambisanayo nobothando buhluke kanjani?

Ubudlelwano be-Platonic vs ubudlelwano bothando

Yebo, bobabili bangabelana ngenani elithile lokusondelana ngokomzimba, kodwa umehluko omkhulu kakhulu ukuthi amandla e-platonic awahambi yonke indlela uma wazi ukuthi sisho ukuthini. Umehluko phakathi kobudlelwano obunjalo nobothando umi kanje:

Izinzuzo Zobudlelwane bukaPlato

Uma, okwamanje, uyazibuza, “Ingabe ubudlelwano be-platonic buyasebenza?”, impendulo yalowo mbuzo ivamise ukuncika kubantu abahililekile kule zibalo. Noma ngabe abantu ababili bawenza kahle kangakanani, into eyodwa eqinisekile: kukhona ithoni yezinzuzo kulokho okuguquguqukayo. Ake sixoxe ngezimbalwa zazo, ngezifundo ezibuyekezwe ontanga ukuze sisekele:

• Ikusiza ukuthi uphile isikhathi eside: Uyakholwa noma ungakholwa, ngo-2010 omkhulu cwaningo bathole ukuthi abantu abanobudlelwano obuqinile bezenhlalo banamathuba angama-50% okuphila isikhathi eside kunalabo abangenabo
• Ithuthukisa impilo yakho yengqondo: Ukuxhumana okuqinile, okungaxakile kwezenhlalo kunciphisa ingozi yokudangala nokukhathazeka, ngokusho kwe-a cwaningo. Ukuxhumana kukaPlato kungakunikeza ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo nokuqinisekisa, futhi kukusize ugcine okwakho Impilo yengqondo isheke
• Nciphisa ukucindezeleka: Ngokombiko othile cwaningo, ukuba nokuxhumana okuqinile komuntu siqu kungasiza ekunciphiseni kakhulu imizwa yokucindezeleka umuntu abhekana nayo
• Ikwenza uqine ngokomzwelo: A cwaningo bathole ukuthi uma umuntu enohlelo oluqinile lokusekela nokuxhumana okuphephile nabanye, amathuba abo okuba alulame esigamekweni esibuhlungu noma esicindezelayo aphakeme kakhulu.
• Khulisa njengabantu ngabanye: Uhlelo lokusekela olunothile ofela okungcono kakhulu ngaphandle kwanoma yiziphi izisusa ezingafanele luzoba nomthelela omuhle ekukhuleni kwakho.

Ezinzuzweni eziningi esingacabanga ngazo, mhlawumbe lezi ezibalwe ngenhla yizona ezibaluleke kakhulu. Njengabangane abakhulu, nobabili nithola ukuthula nokwaneliseka lapho ninomunye nomunye. Azikho izimfuno noma okulindelekile, futhi uthola ukwesekwa kwesikhathi esigcwele ngezikhathi ezinhle kakhulu nezimbi kakhulu. Ubudlelwano be-platonic abunasikhala somona, izinkinga, nokungazethembi.

Kunalokho, uthola leso sikhala esiphephile nomunye umuntu lapho ungaxoxa khona nganoma yini oyifunayo. Ngaphezu kwakho konke, ukuchitha isikhathi nomlingani onothando kukusiza ukuthi ugcine impilo yakho yengqondo ilawulwa. Kodwa-ke, kunezimo eziningi kakhulu lapho abalingani abanothando bengekho ndawonye. Ngokuvamile, kuba ubuhlobo obunohlangothi olulodwa , noma umuntu oyedwa uqala ukulindela okungaphezu kwalokho okufanele. Ukuze kuqinisekiswe ukuthi lokho akwenzeki, kubalulekile ukulandela imithetho ethile yobuhlobo obunothando.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ingabe Amadoda Nabesifazane Bangaba Abangane?

7 Imithetho KaPlato Yobudlelwano

Uthando lukaPlato lungaba olukhethekile kakhulu kubo bobabili abantu abahilelekile. Njengesibopho esiyingqayizivele nesingavamile, kungase kuthambekele ekwahluleleni okuningi komphakathi, okungase kubangele izinkinga kanye nezinkinga ezingadingeki. Ngenxa yokuthonywa isiko lomculo we-pop, lesi sibopho singase sinqotshwe ubungane obusontekile, buphenduke ubuhlobo obuyinkimbinkimbi. Kodwa ungakhathazeki, uma ufisa ukuhlala ebudlelwaneni obunempilo be-platonic, nansi imithetho eyisisekelo okufanele uyikhumbule.

1. Akekho oweqa umugqa

Njengomthetho wobudlelwano be-platonic, akekho kini okufanele aveze intshisekelo yocansi komunye. Njengomngane ka-3 AM, ungabasekela ngezikhathi zesidingo. Kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi uzowathatha kalula, noma uwasebenzise njenge-rebound. Uma ubiza ubudlelwano bakho njengobuhlanganyela “uthando lweplatonic”, kufanele ubugcine kanjalo. UPlato.

Kunjalo nangalokho okushoyo. Nakuba ungaxoxa nganoma yisiphi isihloko emhlabeni ngaphandle kokungabaza, okuhlanganisa nezinkinga zobudlelwano , izingxoxo zocansi kungcono ukuzigwema, funa zenze izinto zibe nzima.

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2. Yazi imingcele yakho

Nakuba abangani bengenazo ngempela ingxoxo mayelana “nemingcele”, kuyaqondakala kahle ukuthi ukuguquguquka kwakho kuzosebenza ngaphakathi kohlaka olubanzi lokuthi ubungane obuningi busebenza kanjani. Ungaqalisi noma ugqugquzele noma yikuphi ukusondelana ngokocansi, akukho ukuthinta okungafanele, futhi uma umngane wakho we-platonic engalungile ngokwabelana ngombhede ebusuku, bambelela kukho.

Gwema noma yiluphi uhlobo lokuthopha okudlalwayo, izinkulumo zocansi, noma ukuthumela izimpawu zokuthintwa kumlingani othanda izinto eziyimfihlo. Lezi zimpawu zokuthandana ezixubile zilimaza isithunzi somuntu siqu futhi zephula uthando oluyimfihlo, okungenzeka ukuthi awusoze walufuna. Uma udinga usizo lokuqala, imingcele efanayo ebudlelwaneni ingasetshenziswa nasebudlelwaneni bakho obuyimfihlo.

3. Uma ufuna ushintsho oluthile, thembeka futhi uhlonipheke ngalo

Ubudlelwano bonke buyashintsha isimo sabo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, futhi ubungane obungenasihawu abuhlukile. Kodwa, uma ukhuluma futhi uthembekile ngezidingo zakho ezishintshayo, kungakusindisa ezinkingeni eziningi zesikhathi esizayo. Uma unesithakazelo ekuqomeni okungenasihawu futhi unomuzwa wokuthi ubudlelwano bakho bukhule ngenxa yokuzibophezela okungenasihawu, xoxa ngakho.

Ungesabi ingozi yokulahlekelwa umlingani wakho we-platonic. Kunalokho, thatha ithuba futhi ulibeke lapho. Ngeke wazi, nabo bangase bazizwe ngendlela efanayo futhi ungase uthathe isinqumo sokuyisa ubuhlobo bakho kwelinye izinga. Kodwa uma bengazizwa ngendlela efanayo futhi befisa ukuyigcina isezingeni eliphezulu, khona-ke unesinqumo okufanele usenze. Ungakwazi yini ukucindezela imizwa yakho ngaphandle kokuba nemizwa engemihle?

Ngokufanayo, uma uzwa ukuthi umngane wakho kaplatonic uhlakulela imizwa yothando ngawe, yiveze ngesizotha futhi umazise ukuthi umi kuphi kule ndaba. Ukuyikhuluma ngeke kushiye muntu ekungabazeni. Ngaphambi kokuthi wenze isinqumo, qonda umehluko phakathi kobudlelwano be-platonic vs ubudlelwano bothando.

4. Ungakuqedi ukwethembana

Uma ekuvulela imfihlo, ungahlebi ngayo. Ukwephula ukwethembana kuzoba ukwephulwa kobudlelwano okukhulu kakhulu ongake ukwenze. Ngakho-ke, gwema ukuxoxa ngezingxoxo zakho zangasese nabanye, gcina izwi lakho, futhi ube khona kumngane wakho we-platonic lapho ekudinga.

Ukwakha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni kuzonizuzisa nobabili kuphela futhi kunisize nihlakulele ukuguquguquka okuvuna zonke izinzuzo esikhulume ngazo ngaphambili. Ubungane obuhlala njalo bungaba yinto enhle, uhlobo lapho uma nichitha isikhathi nomunye nomunye, nizizwa nikhululekile futhi ninelisekile. Ukuze nifike lapho, nobabili kufanele nikwazi ukuthembana ngokuphelele.

5. Ungabi nomona ngabalingani abahlukene

Ungaguquli ubungane obuyimfihlo bube unxantathu wothando oluyimfihlo, ngaphansi kwengubo "yothando oluyimfihlo". Ungaziqhathanisi nomlingani womngane wakho, futhi ungazihambi uzizwa unomona ngaye. Uma uzithola unomona ngokweqile ngobuhlobo bocansi noma ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo lo muntu abelana ngakho nomlingani wakhe, mhlawumbe unento okufanele uyicabange mayelana nokuthi imizwa yakho yothando "icindezelwe" kangakanani. Ukubhekana nomona ebudlelwaneni kudinga umsebenzi othile. Zama ukungawuvumeli uvele kwasekuqaleni.

6. Ungaluphenduli uthando lukaplatonic lube udaba oluthinta imizwa

Abaningi bethu bangaphambanisa ubungane be-platonic nendaba yomzwelo engenacala. Kodwa lokho kukude neqiniso. Uma umlingani wakho engajabule ngobungane bakho, kufanele ubenze bakholwe ukuthi abanasizathu sokuzizwa besongelwa noma bengavikelekile ngenxa yobudlelwano bakho be-platonic. Uma kungenjalo, lokhu kungase kube nomthelela onobuthi ebudlelwaneni bakho obuyinhloko.

Ungalokothi wenze noma yini engalimaza umlingani wakho noma oshade naye, noma ibenze babuze uthando lwakho lothando kubo. Njalo yigcine ihloniphekile. Ngakho-ke, tshala amandla akho ngokuhlakanipha ngenkathi uphatha kokubili ubudlelwano bothando kanye nobudlelwano be-platonic.

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7. Ungakuthathi njengendawo yokulahla imizwa

Uma ungajabule ebudlelwaneni bakho bothando, ungamtholi umngane wakho othanda izinto ezingadingekile. Okokuqala, lolu hlobo lokulahla imizwa lungase lungabi luhle kumngane wakho othanda izinto ezingadingekile. Ngaphandle kwalokho, ngeke kusize ekuxazululeni izinkinga phakathi kwakho nomuntu othandana naye. Yebo, ungaxhumana nomngane wakho ukuze uthole iseluleko noma iseluleko ngezikhathi ezithile, kodwa ungakwenzi umkhuba ukuxoxa ngayo yonke imininingwane yobuhlobo bakho naye.

Uma wenza lokho, umane nje unxantathu emzamweni wokufuna ukuqinisekiswa kwezenzo zakho, futhi lokho akusizi ngalutho. Khuluma nomlingani wakho futhi nixazulule izinkinga ngokuthula. Ukuhlonipha ubudlelwano benu kubalulekile. Musa ukutshala imali eningi kubangani bakho be-platonic kunomlingani wakho. Akufanele futhi uxoxe ngemininingwane eseduze yobudlelwano bakho nomngane we-platonic.

Ngakho-ke, ingabe ubudlelwane be-platonic buyasebenza, futhi bufanelekile? Uma ubulokhu unaka, uyazi manje ukuthi ayasebenza ngempela nokuthi izinzuzo zoxhumano oluqinile njengalokhu ngokuqinisekile zingaphezu kokubi, uma zikhona. Thatha lokhu njengophawu ukuze uphumele lapho futhi wenze abangani abasha, noma vele uxhumane nabanye abadala.

Le ndatshana ibuyekezwe ngoFebhuwari 2023.

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