Ungamtshela Kanjani Umuntu Ofuna Ukuba Abangane: Izibonelo eziyi-15

Ukuzulazula ebudlelwaneni lapho othile eba nemizwa yothando kuyilapho wena ungenayo kungaba inselele. Ukwazi ukutshela othile ukuthi ufuna nje ukuba umngane ngaphandle kokumlimaza ngombhalo kubalulekile ukuze ugcine ubungane obunenhlonipho nobunempilo. Kulo mhlahlandlela onemininingwane, sizohlola izindlela ezinwetshiwe ezingu-15 zokuthi ungenza kanjani umuntu abe umngane womuntu onomusa, ocacile, nonakekelayo, njengoba kuphakanyiswe udokotela wezengqondo ozinze e-California kanye nomelaphi wokuziphatha kwengqondo, uDkt. Shefali Batra (MD kwezengqondo), ogxile ekwelulekeni ngokwehlukana nesehlukaniso, ukwehlukana nokuphola, nezindaba zokuxhumana ngaphambi komshado.

Ungamtshela Kanjani Umuntu Ofuna Ukuba Abangane — Izibonelo Eziyi-15 Zezinkanyezi Zokwehlisa Ngobumnene

Ukubeka imingcele ngaphandle kokulimaza imizwa yomunye umuntu kuyikhono elibucayi. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uthumela imiyalezo noma uxoxa ubuso nobuso, lezi zindlela zokutshela umuntu ukuthi ufuna nje ukuba abangane ngemva kokumhola (noma kusukela ekuqaleni) zizokusiza ukuthi uveze isifiso sakho sokuhlala ungumngane ngenkathi uqinisekisa ukuthi omunye umuntu uzizwa ehlonishwa.

1. Sebenzisa igama elithi F (umngane) kusenesikhathi

Uma ungafuni ukucabanga ngendlela yokutshela umuntu ukuthi ufuna ukuba umngane ngemva kokumhola , thatha lesi seluleko engqondweni. “Lapho usheshe usungula isimo sobuhlobo bakho njengobungane kuphela, kuzoba lula ukugwema ukungaqondani ngothando,” kusho uDkt. Batra. Ngokubiza lowo muntu njalo ngokuthi “umngane” ekuqaleni kokuxhumana kwenu, udala umngcele wengqondo phakathi kothando nobungane kini nobabili.

• “Nginenhlanhla yokuba nomngane onjengawe!”
• “Sinobungane obuhle kangaka—ngikwazisa ngempela lokho.”
• “Ngeqiniso ungomunye wabangane abakhulu engake ngaba nabo.”

Ukusebenzisa igama elithi “umngane” kuvame ukuqinisa inhloso yakho. Lolu limi olucashile kodwa olungaguquguquki lubeka inkundla kusenesikhathi sobungane kunobudlelwano bothando, lubazise ukuthi umi kuphi kwasekuqaleni.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ingabe Intombazane Ingaba Nomfana Ongumngane Omkhulu Nesoka?

2. Gcizelela izilungiselelo zeqembu

Uyazibuza ukuthi ungamtshela kanjani umfana ukuthi ufuna nje ukuba abangane? Imisebenzi yeqembu iyindlela enhle yokwehlisa ukusondelana komuntu oyedwa. Ngokusuka kuma-hangouts ayimfihlo uye emicimbini yokuxhumana nabanye, ugcizelela ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buyingxenye yeqembu elikhulu eliguqukayo, lapho izinhloso zothando zingavamile ukuchuma khona.

• "Hhayi, inqwaba yethu izodla isidlo sakusihlwa-ifuna ukujoyina?"
• "Kufanele sihlele ubusuku be-movie yeqembu! Ijabulisa kakhulu nabantu abaningi."
• “Ake simeme abanye abangani abambalwa ukuthi beze bazoqwala izintaba kule mpelasonto.”

Ukusikisela imicimbi yeqembu kuqondisa ukuxhumana kube ubudlelwano obungenazinjongo , okwenza kucace ukuthi ukhululekile endaweni yokuxhumana kunokuba ube nobudlelwano obuseduze bomuntu nomuntu. Kukusiza ukuthi uthole ukuthi ungamkhetha kanjani umuntu njengomngane ngokususa imizwa yothando engaba khona.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Wonke Umuntu Unezinhlobo Eziyi-10 Zabangane

3. Xoxa nabanye abachotshozwayo

Ithiphu elihle lokuthi ungatshela kanjani umuntu ukuthi ufuna ukuba umngane ngombhalo ukuveza abanye abantu obathandayo. Ngokusho ngokunganaki okukhangayo komunye umuntu, usiza omunye umuntu ukuthi aqonde ukuthi umbona njengomngane nje.

• Kunalo muntu omuhle ngempela emsebenzini—ngicabanga ukumcela.”
• "Ngithanda umuntu othile ekilasini lami le-yoga. Nginovalo olukhulu ukukhuluma naye!"
• “Bengilokhu ngixoxa nomuntu othile kuyi-Internet obonakala epholile—ngifisela inhlanhla!”

UDkt. Batra uthi, “Ukukhuluma ngesithakazelo sakho sothando kwabanye abantu kubonisa ukuthi awumboni lowo muntu njengomlingani ongaba khona. Le ndlela yokudumaza umuntu kancane iyanciphisa ukushaqeka, njengoba isusa ukugxila kwakhe kunoma yikuphi ukulindela abangase babe nakho ngawe ngaphandle kokuthi umenqabe ngokuphelele.”

4. Dlala i-wingperson

“Ukuzinikela ukubasiza ukuthola omunye umuntu kuyindlela ecacile yokuqinisa indima yakho njengomngane, hhayi isithakazelo sothando. Ngokuzibeka njengomuntu osebenza nabo, awugcini nje ngokudelela imizwa yabo kodwa futhi ubasiza ukuba bathuthele komunye umuntu,” kusho uDkt. Batra.

• “Ngazi othile ongafanelana nawe—ingabe ufuna ngikwazise?”
• "Uzoqeda ngokuphelele nomngane wami wasejimini. Ufuna ngikulungiselele?"
• “Nginozakwethu ongashadile futhi obonakala ewuhlobo lwakho!”

Leli qhinga lendlela yokwenqaba umuntu kahle licacile futhi liyasiza. Ngokubonisa ukuthi unentshisekelo yokubasiza bathole umaqondana, uzibeka ngokuqinile endaweni yobungane ngaphandle kokuba nokhahlo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Ezi-8 Ongaba Yi-Wingman Emangalisayo Yamantombazane

5. Bancome ngokungathathi hlangothi

Ukuncoma kwesinye isikhathi kungaholela kumasignali axubile, ikakhulukazi uma ezomuntu siqu kakhulu. Lapho uncoma umuntu, kubalulekile ukukugcina kungathathi hlangothi—ugxile ebuntwini noma amakhono akhe kunokubukeka—ukugcina ithoni ye-platonic.

• “Uyisilaleli esihle—ngihlale ngizijabulela izinkulumo zethu.”
• “Unento emangalisayo uyahlekisa- ukuhlala nawe kuhlale kumnandi."
• “Ucabanga kakhulu. Ngikwazisa kakhulu lokho ngawe.”

Ngokubancoma ngendlela enobungane, engeyona ezothando, ugwema noma isiphi isiphakamiso sokudlala ngothando. Lokhu kusiza ukuqinisa inhloso yakho yokuhlala ungabangane futhi kuvimbele noma yikuphi ukungezwani kwezothando ukuthi kuthuthuke.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izibonelo Eziyi-15 Zokuthi Ungaphendula Kanjani Ekunconyweni Okuvela Kumfana

6. Yabelana ngemikhuba yakho eyinqaba

Ukuvula isifuba sakho ngezinto ezingezinhle kanye nezici ezingajabulisi kungasiza ekudaleni umoya okhululekile, ofana nobungane. Ukwabelana ngalezi zici zakho kususa ubuhlobo kunoma yikuphi okulindelwe kwezothando futhi buyiswe ebunganeni obukhululekile, obunethezekile.

• “Nginomkhuba oyinqaba wokukhuluma nezitshalo zami.
• “Ngihlale ngigqoke amasokisi, ngisho nasehlobo—kuntofontofo.”
• “Ngizihlalele ngibukela imibukiso engokoqobo ehlekisayo njalo ngempelasonto—kuyinjabulo yami enecala.”

Ukwabelana ngezinhlangothi zakho eziyinqaba, ezingapholishiwe kancane kukwenza ubonakale njengomngane oseduze futhi ungafani nomuntu ozothandana naye. Kuyabasiza bakubone njengongenekayo nojwayelene nabo kunokuba babone umuntu ongaba nentshisekelo kuye kwezothando.

7. Beka imingcele kusenesikhathi

Indlela eqondile yokuthi ungamdumaza kanjani umuntu ngobumnene iwukubeka imingcele ngokushesha lapho umuntu eqala ukuthandana noma ethatha isinyathelo sokuqala . Kodwa-ke, lokhu kufanele kwenziwe ngomusa, ukuze kungabi ukwenqatshwa kodwa kube ukuqinisekiswa kobungane benu.

• “Ngiyabuthanda ubungane bethu—angifuni ukwenza izinto zibe nzima.”
• “Sinento enhle eqhubekayo njengabangane. Asiyigcine injalo.”
• Ngibazisa ngempela ubungane bethu futhi angifuni ukukushintsha lokho.

Ukubeka imingcele kusenesikhathi kuvimbela noma yikuphi okungaba khona ukuxhumana okungalungile ukuthi kukhule. Kuphinde kukunike ithuba lokubavumela phansi ngobumnene ube ukucacisa ukuthi ubungane yikona okuza kuqala kuwe.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Imingcele Eyishumi Nanhlanu Yabangane Besoka Nabesifazane Okufanele Bafunge Ngayo

8. Khuluma ngendlela ongakalungeli ngayo ubudlelwano

UDkt. Batra uyeluleka, “Ukuphumela obala ngesimo sakho siqu kuyindlela enhle yokuqondisa ingxoxo ibe ubungane.” Ukuveza ukuthi awubheki ubudlelwano okwamanje kusiza omunye umuntu aqonde ukuthi ukugxila kwakho kukwenye indawo.

• “Angikho nje endaweni yokushela manje—ngigxile kimina kuphela.”
• “Ngizinika isikhathi sokugxila ebunganini nasekuzikhuliseni, kunokuphola.”
• “Okwamanje, ngithanda ukwakha ubungane obuqinile kunokufuna ezothando.”

Le ndlela yokulahla umuntu kahle iyasebenza ngoba ayibenzi bazizwe bekhethiwe. Kunalokho, ukubiyela njengokukhetha kwakho, okususa ukugxila kubo.

9. Yabelana ngezindaba ezibangela amahloni

Awuqinisekile ukuthi ungayitshela kanjani intombazane ukuthi ufuna nje ukuba abangane? Nali icebiso elivela kuDkt. Batra. "Ukwabelana ngezindaba ezinamahloni noma ezihlekisayo ngawe kunganqamula ukungezwani kwezothando futhi kudale indawo enethezekile, enobungani. Uma nihleka ndawonye ngezikhathi zenu ezingathandeki, kususa ukugxila kwezothando nibheke ebunganeni bangempela."

• “Ngesinye isikhathi ngathumela ngephutha a incwadi yothando kuthisha wami esikhundleni sokuqonywa kwami!”
• “Ngakhubeka futhi ngachitha ikhofi kuwo wonke umlando wami esikoleni esiphakeme—ngikhuluma ngezinto ezibangela amahloni!”
• Ngake ngaxuba igama lomuntu othile ubusuku bonke—kwakungelula neze.”

Ngokwabelana ngalezi zindaba, ubonisa ukuthi awubheki ukubonwa njengomuntu onentshisekelo yothando. Isiza omunye umuntu ukuthi azizwe ekhululekile futhi enethezekile endaweni yomngane.

10. Azikho izikhathi ezithinta inhliziyo

Awuqiniseki ukuthi ungamtshela kanjani umfana ukuthi ufuna nje ukuba abangane? Gcina ukugonana kuncane. Ukuthintana ngokomzimba ngezinye izikhathi kungafiphaza umngcele phakathi kobungani nothando. Ukuze ugweme ukuthumela izimpawu ezixubile , gcina ukuxhumana kwakho ngokomzimba kukhululekile futhi kunobungane.

• Namathela kumaqhubu aphezulu noma amanqindi esikhundleni sokugona isikhathi eside
• Gwema ukubeka isandla sakho engalweni noma ehlombe labo isikhathi eside kakhulu
• Gcina noma yikuphi ukuthintana ngokomzimba kufushane futhi kudlala, njengokumbambatha emhlane ngokushesha

Lokhu kuqinisa umqondo wokuthi ubudlelwano bakho bungobu-platonic futhi kugwema noma yikuphi ukudideka okungadingekile noma ukuchazwa kabi kwezinhloso zakho.

11. Shiya imininingwane ejulile lapho uxoxa ngobudlelwano obudlule

Uyazibuza ukuthi ungayitshela kanjani intombazane ukuthi ufuna nje ukuba abangane? Nansi indlela ecashile. Uma uxoxa ngobudlelwano noma ama-crush, qiniseka ukuthi uyayishiya imininingwane ejulile noma ungene ujule emizweni owabazwela yona. Lokhu kuzwela kungase kuhunyushwe njengokusikisela kokuthi unemizwa yothando ngomuntu okhuluma naye. Ngakho-ke khawula izindaba zibe ama-anecdotes ahlekisayo noma izinsuku ezingalungile. Lokhu kudala umuzwa wokuvuleleka ngenkathi kugcinwa imingcele.

• “Ngangivame ukumthanda kakhulu uthisha wami wasesikoleni esiphakeme!”
• “I-ex yami yangifundisa okuningi ngobudlelwano, nakuba kungenzeki.”
• “Ngiye ngaba nezigigaba zokuqomisana ezihlekisayo—njengaleso sikhathi ngachitha amanzi phakathi nesikhathi sami sothando.”

Ngokukhuluma ngezinto oke wabhekana nazo kwezothando ezedlule, wenza izingxoxo zothando zibe ngokwejwayelekile ngaphandle kokuzenza isihloko sengxoxo. Lokhu kugcina i-dynamic inethezekile futhi ilula.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Isoka Lami Lithandana Nomngane Wami Futhi Yile Indlela Engisinda Ngayo

12. Qokomisa imigomo yakho yobungane

UDkt. Batra uyeluleka, “Esikhundleni sokukhuluma ngemisebenzi embalwa , gxila kulokho eningakwenza ndawonye njengabangane. Dala intshiseko ngemisebenzi yobungani, okuzobonisa ngokungabonakali ukuthi unesifiso sokwakha ubuhlobo obunenjongo.”

• “Ake sihlele iseshini yokuzitika nge-Netflix kule mpelasonto— eyethu bangane nje!”
• "Kufanele senze umdlalo ebusuku maduze. Ngiyakuthanda ukuzihlalela nabangani bami kanjalo."
• “Asenzeni izintaba eziningi ndawonye! Umsebenzi omuhle kakhulu wabangane.”

Ukugxila emisebenzini ejabulisayo, enobungane kukhombisa ukuthi uyabazisa ubudlelwano ngendlela engeyona ezothando. Ikhuthaza ukusondelana ngaphandle kokusho isithakazelo sothando.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinzuzo Eziyi-13 Nezinkinga Ezi-5 Zokushada Nomngane Wakho Omkhulu

13. Sebenzisa amahlaya ukuze ugweme ukudlala ngothando

Nansi indlela yokutshela othile ukuthi ufuna ukuba umngane ngombhalo uma omunye eqala ukudlala ngothando. Sebenzisa amahlaya ukuze uqondise kabusha ingxoxo ngobumnene. Amahlaya akuvumela ukuthi uveze ukuthi awunantshisekelo ngaphandle kokudala ukungezwani noma ukwenza isimo sibe nzima.

• Uma bethi, “Ubukeka umangalisa namuhla,” phendula ngokuthi, “Siyabonga! Nawe sithandwa! *Izibhamu zeminwe*” (Noma into engavamile kancane)
• Uma bekuncoma, yithi, “Ungumngane omuhle kakhulu!”
• Uma bephawula ngothando, yenza ihlaya, “Kubukeka sengathi uyazilolonga imigqa yokuqoqa uzosebenzisa intombi yakho yakusasa"

Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungamehlisa kanjani umuntu ngobumnene, ukuhlekisa kuyindlela enhle yokugcina ukuxhumana kulula futhi kudlala.

14. Bathule njengomngane wakho

Nansi indlela yokwenza umngane womuntu ngobuqili. Uma useduze nabanye, qiniseka ukuthi ubethula njengomngane wakho. Lokhu kuqinisa ubudlelwano bakho kubo bobabili kanye nanoma ubani omunye eduze, kuqinise indawo yobungani.

• “Lona umngane wami, [igama labo].”
• “Hlangana nomngane wami omkhulu, [igama labo]. Sesinesikhathi sazana.”
• “Ake ngikwazise kumngane wami, [igama labo].”

Ukubethula ngokungaguquki njengomngane kuqinisa imingcele yakho ngaphandle kokubhekana ngqo nenkinga.

15. Thembeka kodwa ube nomusa uma kuvela

Uma omunye umuntu eveza imizwa yakhe , khuluma iqiniso kodwa ube mnene. Kubalulekile ukuvuma imizwa yakhe ngenkathi usho ngokucacile ukuthi uyabazisa ubungane futhi awufuni bushintshe.

• “Ngibazisa ngempela ubungane bethu, futhi angifuni ukukushintsha lokho.”
• “Ngiyethemba ukuthi singakwazi ukuhlala singabangane ngoba ubungane bethu bubalulekile kimina.”
• “Angifuni ukuthandana, kodwa ngijabula kakhulu ngokuthi singabangane abakhulu kangaka.”

Ukuba oqondile kodwa onomusa kuyindlela yokulahla umuntu kahle kuyilapho ulondoloza inhlonipho nokunakekela okudingekayo ukuze kulondolozwe ubungane.

Imicabango Final

Ukwazi ukutshela umuntu ukuthi ufuna nje ukuba umngane ngaphandle kokumlimaza ngombhalo kumayelana nokucabangela, ukwethembeka, nokuba mnene. Noma ngabe ufuna ukusebenzisa amahlaya, ubeke imingcele kusenesikhathi, noma wabelane ngemikhuba yakho exakile, landela lawa maqhinga ayi-15 okuthi ungenza kanjani umuntu ube umngane ngomusa nangenhlonipho. Ngokugxila ekwakheni ubudlelwano obuqinile be-platonic, ungagcina ubungane ngenkathi uqinisekisa ukuthi imizwa yothando ayiphazamisi.

I-Comanionship Vs Relationship – I-10 Basic Differences

Izizathu Eziyi-13 Ezenza Umyeni Wami Abe Umngane Wami Omkhulu

Ubungane obungafanele uma ushadile - Nakhu Okufanele Ukwazi

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.