Konke Mayelana Nendlela Yokuba Umngane Ne-Ex Yakho

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Ubudlelwano bomuntu siqu buyindida futhi ungase uzithole uzulazula emagunjini ashintshashintshayo okuthi ungaba kanjani umngane no-ex wakho ngemva kokuhlukana. Ngisho noma ubuhlobo buphelile, ukunethezeka cishe kusekhona. Nichithe isikhathi esiningi ndawonye, nifunda omunye nomunye akuthandayo nangakuthandi, futhi nakha ichemistry yobudlelwano. Ungamkhipha kanjani umuntu onjalo empilweni yakho? Kodwa ingabe uhlome ngolwazi lokuthi ungaba kanjani umngane ne-ex yakho?

Ucwaningo luthi, “ Ucwaningo lwangaphambilini lusikisela ukuthi cishe abantu abangu-60% balondoloza ubungane ngemva kokuhlukana. Abacwaningi bathole ukuthi kunezizathu ezine eziyinhloko zokuthi umuntu ahlale engumngane nomuntu ayethandana naye ngemva kokuhlukana - ukuphepha, ukusebenza kahle, ubuntu, kanye nezifiso zothando ezingaxazululwanga.” Ezimweni eziningi, ubungane obusekelwe ezizathwini ezingokoqobo nezobuntu buhlala isikhathi eside futhi bubhekwa njengobuhle. Ngesikhathi behlala bengabangane ngezizathu zokuphepha noma ngenxa yemizwa yothando engaxazululwanga kwakuhlotshaniswa nemizwa engemihle.

Ingabe Kuwumqondo Omuhle Ukuba Umngane Ne-Ex Yakho?

Okuqukethwe

Ungaba yini umngane nowakwakho wangaphambili? Lokho kuncike esimweni, ukuthi ubuhlobo buphele kanjani, kanye nabantu abahilelekile. Kumelwe ukuthi uke wafunda izinto ezinjengokuthi “Uma ungaba umngane nowakwakho wangaphambili, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi anikaze nithandane noma nisathandana” noma “Owakwakho wangaphambili ucela ukuba abangane ngokushesha ngemva kokuhlukana kufana nomthumbi ocela ukuxhumana ngemva kokukukhulula.” Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi lokhu kuyiqiniso noma cha, kuthiwa futhi, “Lapho abantu ababili behlala bengabangane ngemva kokuhlukana, kubonisa ukuvuthwa okukhulu nokwamukelana kubo bobabili.”

Ngakho-ke, ukuba umngane ne-ex yakho kuyisinqumo okufanele usenze uwedwa nangesikhathi sakho. Kungaba yinzuzo enkulu, kodwa kungcono kakhulu uma unquma ukungahlali uthintana nhlobo. Asikho isidingo sokuba yintombi enhle yakudala.

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Nazi izinto ezimbalwa okufanele uzicabangele uma ucabanga ukuthi ukuba umngani nomuntu wakudala okuzwise ubuhlungu kuyisinqumo esilungile yini kuwe:

Uma nobabili nixolelene ngazo zonke izinto ezimbi futhi nilungele ukuqhubekela phambili, kulungile ukuba ngabangane abaseduze
Kungumqondo omuhle uma izici zobudlelwano ezibalulekile kuwena nomlingani wakho, ngisho nangemva kokuhlukana, zingagcinwa zinempilo ngobungane.
Isibopho esivumelanayo nomuntu okukhathalelayo ngaphandle kwanoma yiziphi izisusa ezingafanele singasiza kakhulu ukukhula kwakho siqu
Nokho, ukuba umngane ne-ex yakho ngezinye izikhathi kungenza kube nzima ukuqhubeka
Ukwazi ukuthi usafuna ukuba nalowo muntu ngokothando, noma ukwazi ukuthi omunye umuntu kungenzeka ukuthi ukulindele, yilapho wazi ukuthi akuwona umqondo omuhle ukuba abangani okwamanje.

Ngakho-ke, ngenxa yenhlalakahle yakho, qinisekisa ukuhamba kokuxhumana futhi ubone lapho nobabili nimi khona ngaphambi kokusuka ekubeni ngabalingani bothando niye ekuguquguqukeni kobungani.

Ukuze uthole imininingwane eyengeziwe esekelwe ochwepheshe, sicela ubhalisele Isiteshi sethu se-YouTube. Chofoza lapha

Kunini Kulungile Ukuba Umngane Ne-Ex?

Ukwazi izimpawu zokuthi usukulungele ukuba umngane nesoka lakho langaphambili noma intombi yakudala, noma cha, kubaluleke kakhulu. Ukuqala ubuhlobo ngendlela ye-platonic ongayilungele ngempela - kungaba yinhlekelele. Ungavula amanxeba amadala futhi lawo angakubuyisela izinyathelo eziyikhulu ohambweni lwakho lokuphola.

Nazi ezinye izimpawu ezizokusiza ukuthi ubone ukuthi usukulungele ukubuyela ekubeni abangani.

Nobabili namukele ukuthi ubudlelwano buphelile futhi niyaqonda ukuthi kungani
Nobabili empeleni niyitholile a indlela yokuqhubekela phambili ngokomzwelo futhi abafisi ngasese ukubuyelana
Ayikho nhlobo imizwa yothando ehilelekile; akekho kini ofuna ukuba sebudlelwaneni bothando nomunye
Nobabili nikulungele ukuqala ukuthandana nabanye abantu, futhi ungababona bejabule nomunye umuntu
Njengabo bonke ubungane obuhle, lobu bungane bungeza okuthile okuhle empilweni yakho, njengobungane, ukukhula, ubumnandi, noma yini
Uma ningabazali abakanye nawe, kuhle ukuba izingane zakho zibone ukuthi ungaba umngane nowayengumyeni wakho noma owayengunkosikazi wakho. I-positivity ezoletha ezimpilweni zabo izokwenza umehluko omkhulu futhi yenze izimpilo zakho zibe lula futhi

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Kufanele Uwuyeke Nini Umqondo Wokuba Umngane Ne-Ex?

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuhle futhi kuzuzise kangakanani ukuba umngane nowake waba unkosikazi wakho, owayeyintombi, noma owayeyisoka, kuhle kakhulu uma ukhetha ukungawuthathi lowo mgwaqo futhi unqamule ubuhlobo ngokuphelele. Lokho kungcono kunokugcina usesimweni esibucayi esizomane sikuphathe kabi nakakhulu. Nazi ezinye izimpawu zokuthi kufanele uvumele ukuhlukana kuqhubeke kukho konke:

Lapho wazi ukuthi awukakadluleli phambili futhi unethemba lokubuyelana nabo ngasese
Uma i-ex yakho ifuna ukuhlala ningabangane futhi ayizizwa ikhululekile noma ingakwenzi uzizwe kahle
Uma unenkinga yokubeka imingcele noma ukuyigcina, kufanele nakanjani yenqaba i ex efuna ukuba abangani
Uma uzizwa unesikhwele sokuba umngani ne-ex enentombi/isoka, uma kukucasula ukubona ukuthandana kwabo kushintsha impilo, noma unenkinga yokujola nabanye abantu ngoba usalivala ucingo
Ukubuyela emuva emikhubeni yobudlelwano obudala nabo kuwuphawu oluqinile lokuthi uphokophele ezingozini ezibuhlungu

Kodwa ungaba kanjani umngani ne-ex osamthanda? Ziningi izinto ongazenza ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi wakha isibopho esinempilo nesinobungane no-ex wakho ngaphandle kokuphelela echibini lezinyembezi. Ingabe kunzima ukuba umngane nomuntu owayethandana naye? Yebo. Kodwa masikwenze kusebenze.

Ungakwenza Kanjani Ukuba Umngane Ne-Ex Yakho Umsebenzi?

Ukunquma ukuba umngane nomuntu oshade naye kuqala ngokuzihlola kakhulu futhi ngezinye izikhathi kukufaka ezinkingeni ezithile ezihlukumezayo zemicabango yakho okudingeka uyilungise ngaphambi kokuthi uqale nokucabanga ngobungane obufisa ngobuqotho. Lapho usunqume ukuthi ukuba umngane nowayeshade naye kuyisinqumo esifanele kuwe, kubalulekile ukuhlakulela lobo bungane ngokucophelela. Ukuze wenze lokho, nanka amathiphu ambalwa okuthi ungenza kanjani ubungane nomsebenzi wakho wangaphambili:

1. Yiba nokucaca

Nansi indlela ongathola ngayo isizathu sokufuna ukuba umngane ne-ex yakho:

Ungu usathandana ne ex yakho?
Ingabe ufuna ingxenye yobudlelwano kulokhu kuguquguquka okusha?
Uyakhumbula nje ukuba nomuntu osondelene nawe?

Qiniseka ukuthi nobabili ningaphezu komunye nomunye futhi senidlule ngokomzwelo. Isidingo sokuba seduze nabo noma ukuba nabo empilweni yakho akufanele sisekelwe emizweni yothando eqhubekayo. Okunye ukucaca okudingayo: Nquma ukuthi ufisa yini ukuba nobungane kunokuba ube umngane nabo. Umsebenzisi we-Quora uthi , “Uma ngihlola ubudlelwano bami nabangane bami bangaphambili ngokumelene nobudlelwano nabangani, kunomehluko omkhulu.

“Abangane bangabantu abakuthandayo nabakwesekayo, abakukhathalelayo nabazokulalela noma yini oyishoyo futhi bakwazi ukukunikeza izeluleko nemibono. Uma uke wajola nomuntu othile nginomuzwa wokuthi kuyohlale kunokuchema, futhi ngokuvamile kuba nzima ukuzihlukanisa nobuhlobo bakho futhi unikeze omunye ngempela lokho umngane angakwenza.”

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2. Ungajahi isinqumo sokuba umngani ne-ex yakho

Ukuhlukana kwazo zonke izinhlobo kubuhlungu kakhulu. Isibonelo, cabanga ngokuba umngane nomngane wakho wangaphambili. Lo mcabango wavula amanxeba, akunjalo? Uyakhumbula ukuthi kwakuthatha isikhathi esingakanani ukuyeka lobo bungane? Kufanele uvumele isikhathi eside sidlule ngemva kokuhlukana ngaphambi kokuba ucabange ngokuba umngane nomngane wakho wangaphambili noma intombi yakho yangaphambilini. Chitha isikhathi nawe ukuze uphulukise inhliziyo yakho ephukile . Akukho lutho olunobugovu ngokufuna ukuba nomusa kuwe ngemva kokuhlukana.

"Isinye sezikhathi ezingcono kakhulu zokuzitholela ukuthi ungubani nokuthi yini oyifunayo ngempela ekuphileni? Ngemva nje kokuhlukana," kusho uMandy Hale, umbhali odayiswa kakhulu, osemkhankasweni wokukhuthaza abesifazane abangashadile ukuba baphile ukuphila kwabo okungcono kakhulu ngemva kokuhlukana.

Udinga isikhathi nendawo ukuze ucubungule ukuhlukana kwenu, kanjalo nomlingani wakho wangaphambili. Lapho uzidalela isikhala esiningi, yilapho uziqonda kangcono. Ngakho-ke, ukunqamula ngokuphelele futhi usebenzise umthetho wokungathintani kuzokusiza nobabili ukuthi niqhubeke futhi niphulukise. Impilo ingaba lula ukube nobabili benindawonye kodwa akusiyo indlela impilo ehlala isebenza ngayo, akunjalo?

Uma owakwakho efuna ukuhlala ungabangane, awuzizwa ukulungele, futhi uma ufuna i-piña colada, impilo ikunikeza olamula. Ngakho-ke, ungacwili kuyo ngokushesha okukhulu noma ngokushesha, futhi lapho nobabili senilungile ngempela, nizokwazi ukwenza ubungane busebenze.

3. Beka imingcele

Kubalulekile ukuxoxa ngezidingo zakho zomzimba nezingokomzwelo kanye nokulindela kwakho ebunganeni kusenesikhathi bese ubeka imingcele yokuba umngane nomuntu owayekade ekuzwisa ubuhlungu. Uma kwenzeka ufuna ukungena ebuhlotsheni bocansi nomuntu owayekade ekuzwisa ubuhlungu futhi (awuwedwa), udinga ukucaca engqondweni yakho futhi uqaphele ukuthi ungaphinde uwele endaweni yothando. Ngoba ake sibhekane nakho, nobabili nahlukana ngesizathu. Ukubeka le mingcele kuzokusiza futhi ukuthi ube nokucaca ebuhlotsheni bakho besikhathi esizayo. Uma ufuna ukuhlala ungumngane nomuntu owayekade ekuzwisa ubuhlungu futhi uqome nabantu abasha, le mingcele izokusiza ukuthi uthole okungcono kakhulu empilweni yakho yomibili.

4. Vumela okwadlulayo kudlule ukuze ube nobudlelwano obunempilo ne-ex yakho

Lona umthetho ophoqelekile okudingeka uphile ngawo uma ufuna ukuba umngane nomuntu wakho wangaphambili. UNGABUYI ESIKHATHINI ESIDLULE. Zonke izinkumbulo zakho ezimbi naye zisesikhathini esidlule manje, futhi akunasizathu sokudala ukungezwani okusha ngamanxeba amadala. Imithwalo yemizwa yobuhlobo bangaphambili kufanele ishiywe ngemuva, ikakhulukazi lapho sekuxoliswe futhi kulungiswe, noma kufinyelelwe esivumelwaneni.

Ubungani nomuntu owayethandana naye kufanele bube yisahluko esisha sobudlelwano futhi uhlale kude namakhasi ezahlukweni zakho zangaphambilini naye, mhlawumbe izincwadi ezahlukene ngokuphelele. Kuzwakala kungenakwenzeka kodwa singakweluleka ukuthi ubhekane nakho ngale ndlela uma uzimisele ngokuba abangane futhi. Umsebenzisi we-Quora ukhuluma ngezinzuzo zokuba umngane nomuntu owayethandana naye, “Awusoze waba nomuntu ‘ozohlukana naye.’ Isizathu sonke sokuthi kungathatha isikhathi eside kangaka ukuhlukana nomuntu owayethandana naye ngoba usenyamalele ngokuzumayo empilweni yakho. Uma ugcina ubungani bakho, busekhona futhi inqubo yokululama ilula kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, akukho mthwalo uma usuzophinde ukhiphe inhliziyo yakho.'

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5. Yibani ngabangane nje

Lapho uzama ukuba umngane nomuntu oshade naye, qiniseka ukuthi nobabili nikhululekile ngokuba 'abangane nje.' Uma ufuna ukuba umngane nabo ngenxa yezisusa ezithile ezicashile noma amathemba acashile okubazuza futhi, ubungane benu buzofana nokuba nebhodlela elingenalutho lewayini efrijini - Ngeke uzuze lutho kulo, futhi kuzothatha isikhala kokuthile okusha.

Ubungane, ukusekelwa ngokomzwelo, kanye nenduduzo abalethayo - nakuba kungase kusekelwe ebudlelwaneni bothando obake baba khona - akufanele kusekelwe ngokuphelele esikhathini sakho esidlule, noma kuzovimbela ubudlelwano bakho besikhathi esizayo kanye nozakwethu abasha.

Izikhombi Ezibalulekile

Kulungile ukufuna ukuba umngani ne-ex
Uma bobabili abalingani sebeqhubekele phambili, futhi ubungane buzoletha okuthile okuhle empilweni yakho, khona-ke kuwumqondo omuhle ukuba umngane ne-ex yakho.
Nokho, uma ubungane bungakwenzi uzizwe ukhululekile, noma uzithola usufuna ukuba babuye, kufanele nakanjani uwuyeke lowo mbono.
Ukuze wenze ubungane obusha busebenze ngamandla, udinga ukuthatha isikhathi kude nomunye, ubeke imingcele, futhi uvumele okwedlule kuhlale kusesikhathini esedlule.

Ukuba umngane nomuntu owayethandana naye akuyona into engavamile. Eqinisweni, abantu abaningi bangathanda lokho. Abaningi bathembele ekubeni umngane nomuntu ababethandana naye ukuze banciphise ubuhlungu bokuhlukana. Kodwa-ke, nakuba ubuhlobo obukhululekile buzwakala njengendlela enhle yokugcina umuntu owayethandana naye empilweni yakho ngaphandle kokusondelana ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba, kungaholela ezimweni ezididayo neziyinkimbinkimbi.

Awuwedwa ekufuneni ukuba umngane nowayengunkosikazi wakho, owayeyintombi, noma owayeyisoka, futhi akukho okungalungile ngokwemvelo ngalokho. Abake babambisene nabo bangaba abangane abakhulu abakwaziyo ukukusekela, ukukugqugquzela, nokukunakekela. Nokho, zonke izimo zihlukile. Thatha isikhathi sakho, uzibuze ukuthi yini oyifunayo ebunganini, futhi uqinisekise ukuthi i-ex yakho ihlala esikhathini esedlule uma kuziwa ngekusasa lakho lezothando. Ngaleyo ndlela ungenza ubungane bakho nomuntu wakho wangaphambili busebenze.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

1. Ingabe abathandanayo bangaba abangane ngemva kokuhlukana?

Yebo, kulungile ngokuphelele ukuba umngane ex yakho ngemva kokuhlukana kodwa indlela enhle umbono ukuthi incike kanjani futhi kungani ubuhlobo yaphela, isizathu ufuna ukuba abangane, futhi ukuthi uke bathuthela noma cha. Kuyaphawuleka ukuthi ukuguquguquka kobungane okunjalo akufani nobunye ubungane.

2. Ingabe kulungile ukuba umngane ne-ex osayithanda?

Ngokuvamile kuwumbono omubi ukuzihlanganisa nesithandwa sakho osathandana naye. Nokho, uma izinhloso zenu zingekona ukuphinde nibuyelane futhi ungathembi ukuthi bazoshintsha umqondo ngokuhlukana, ungase uzame ukuba abangane. Lokho, ezikhathini eziningi, kuzoba iresiphi yenhlekelele. Okuguquguqukayo kungadida njengoba owayengumngane wakho osezoba umuntu omthandayo kodwa ongakwazi ukuba naye.

3. Kufanele ulinde isikhathi esingakanani ngemva kokuhlukana ukuze ube umngane nomuntu owayethandana naye?

Awukho umkhawulo wesikhathi obekiwe kulokhu futhi ayikho ifomula efanele. Kudingeka ukuthi uzinike isikhathi, ululame, futhi uthole ukuthi ungubani njengomuntu ongenabo, bese ukhuluma ngesihloko. Uma uqinisekile ukuthi awusenaso isithakazelo kubo kwezothando, ungacabanga ngakho. Kodwa khumbula izeluleko zethu zokuthi ungaba kanjani umngani no-ex wakho.

4. Ingabe ukuba umngane nomuntu wangaphambili kungaholela ebudlelwaneni?

Yebo, kuyinto engenzeka ukuthi ihlale ikhona emakhadini. Kuyisimo esiyinkimbinkimbi futhi ayikho imiphumela engaguquki. Kuncike ngokuphelele ngezizathu zokuhlukana, izizathu ezibangela ubungane ngemva kokuhlukana, nokuthi yini bobabili abathintekayo abalindele ebuhlotsheni babo okwamanje.

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