I-Polyamory Vs Open Relationship - 8 Umehluko Oyinhloko (Nokunye Okufanayo)

Nokho, i-polyamory imane iyinkimbinkimbi, isigamu-yesiGreki, isigamu-Latin, igama lobuhlobo obuvulekile, akunjalo? Errr... kungenzeka ukuthi awulungile kulokho! Nokho, ungakhathazeki, i-ethical non-monogamy (ENM) noma i-consusal non-monogamy (CNM) ingaba indawo ekhohlisayo, futhi ukudideka kobudlelwane obuvulekile be-polyamory kuvamile!

Njengoba imiphakathi emhlabeni wonke namuhla isebenzisa i-monogamy, sikwamukele njengento eyiqiniso. Kungaba ubudlelwano bezothando noma umshado, sisanda kukhula siphuphuma umqondo wokusethwa komuntu oyedwa. Futhi kule nqubo, cindezela amandla ethu okuthanda okungaphezu nje "kwelodwa" ngokukhipha inyumbazana nokwenza uthando oluningi lube yicala futhi sikubize ngokungathembeki noma ukuphinga. Kodwa njengoba umphakathi usuthuthukile, abantu sebeze bamukele isifiso sokuthanda noma ukuba nobuhlobo bomzimba noma bothando “nalowo” kuphela. Futhi ngokungananazi, sonke sikhona, uma kuyilokho okufunayo!

Noma kunjalo, kuyindaba enzima futhi kubalulekile ukuqonda izici zobudlelwano obunjalo. Njengoba kunengxoxo encane kanye nemfundo encane ngalezi zindlela, kunezingxube eziningi. Kodwa, namuhla, sinomeluleki osebenza nathi uNiyatii N Shah , ongumfundisi wezocansi kanye nomqeqeshi wokusondelana, ukusiza ekuxazululeni konke ukungabaza kwethu ngezincazelo ezimbalwa ezilula zale mibono nokunye okuningi!

Iyini i-Polyamory?

Ingabe uvame ukuzibuza, yini i-polyamory? Obani laba bantu basenganekwaneni, abangacacile, abasabekayo abane-polyamorous, futhi bavelaphi? U-Niyatii uphendula ngokuningiliziwe eqala ngesikhumbuzo esibalulekile, “Kubalulekile ukukhuluma nesihloko se-polyamory ngomqondo ovulekile kanye nokuzimisela ukufunda.”

Uyaqhubeka echaza, “I-Polyamory iyindlela yokuthandana, futhi abantu abazibiza ngokuthi bathandana nabantu abaningi bangaba yinoma yiluphi ubulili, indlela yokuthandana ngokocansi, ubudala, noma isizinda samasiko. Abanye bangase babe nesithakazelo sokuhlola ubudlelwano bothando obuningi, kanti abanye bangase babeke phambili ukusondelana ngokomzimba nabalingani abaningi.

Ubudlelwano be-Polyamorous busekelwe esimisweni sokuvunyelwana kokungeyona indoda eyodwa, lapho bonke abathintekayo bevuma ukuhlanganyela ebudlelwaneni bezothando abaningi noma ubudlelwano bocansi ngolwazi nangemvume yomunye nomunye.”

Ngakho, yini esiyifundile kuze kube manje?

• Ku-polyamory, abalingani bafuna futhi balondoloze ubuhlobo obuyinhloko obungaphezu kobodwa lapho behileleke ngokomzwelo omunye nomunye
• Ukuxhumana abakufunayo kungokothando futhi kungokomzwelo futhi ngokuvamile kuhloselwe isikhathi eside
• Kungase kuhilele ukusondelana ngokobulili kodwa ngokuqinisekile akuyona ukuphela kwenhloso yokuhlangana nabanye abantu

Alukho uhlaka oluqinile ebudlelwaneni be-polyamorous ngaphandle kokuthi kufanele kube nemvume nokuthi abantu bakhululekile ukuthanda abantu abangaphezu koyedwa. Izibalo ze-Poly zingaba izinhlobo ezihlukahlukene kunoma iyiphi inombolo yabantu. Isimo seqembu singashintsha noma silungiswe. Okubalulekile lapha yimvume kanye nesimo esilinganayo. Nazi izinhlobo ezimbalwa ze-polyamory kanye nemigomo yokuthola i-hang yalokhu esizoxoxa ngakho:

• I-Triad, Throuple, noma Triangle: Iqembu labantu abangu-3
• Isikwele noma i-Quad: Iqembu labantu abangu-4
• I-Polycule: Inethiwekhi yobudlelwano obuxhumene, ngokuvamile obungaphezu kwabantu abangu-4 ngenxa yokuthi amagama asuselwa ekubunjweni kwejiyomethri angaba nzima
• Vula iqembu le-polycule: Iqembu livulekele ukungeza abantu abaningi noma ukuvumela ubudlelwano obusha obuseduze ukuba bakheke. Uma uthola igama eliyindida elithi "open polyamorous relationships" lijikijelwa nxazonke, kuye ngomongo, ungacabanga ukuthi lisho i-polycule evulekile.
• Iqembu le-polycule/Polyfi elivaliwe: Umuntu ngamunye eqenjini uyavuma ukuthi angabe esabheka
• I-Solo Poly: Umuntu olungile kumlingani wakhe ohlola obunye ubudlelwano kodwa angathanda ukuba nomfazi oyedwa kulo zakwethu
• Iqembu le-Hierarchical polyamorous: Abanye abantu kanye nezibopho eqenjini zibaluleke kakhulu kunabanye. Lokhu kuvame ukubonwa kumbuthano we-polyamorous
• Iqembu le-polyamorous elingelona i-hierarchical: Bonke abantu eqenjini banezikhundla ezilinganayo namandla okwenza izinqumo noma ukuxoxisana ngemibandela yobudlelwano

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Ezi-5 Okufanele Uzicabangele Ngaphambi Kokuqala Ubuhlobo Bokuthandana Ne-Polyomous

Buyini Ubudlelwano obuvulekile?

“Esikujwayele kakhulu ukuxhumana okungokwesiko kwabantu abathandana nomuntu oyedwa noma ukushada komuntu oyedwa, okuwubudlelwano obuvaleleke emphakathini,” kusho u-Niyatii. "Abantu ababili bathembisana ukuba ozakwethu omunye komunye. Ngeza kulokhu kusetha abantu abaningi, ubambiswano 'luvuleka'." Yize lena kungeyona incazelo esemthethweni yobudlelwano obuvulekile, kuyindlela enhle yokuqonda isisekelo segama.

Ngakho-ke igama elithi ubuhlobo obuvulekile lisetshenziswa nezincazelo ezimbili. Okokuqala, njengegama elilula elihlanganisa noma yiluphi uhlobo lwezimiso zokuziphatha okungeyona indoda eyodwa. Ngolimi olujwayelekile, abantu bavame ukubiza bonke ubudlelwano obunokuziphatha okungeyona indoda eyodwa njengobudlelwano obuvulekile. Ngakho ukwenza i-polyamory futhi uhlobo lobudlelwane obuvulekile.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kusho ukuthini ukuba sebudlelwaneni obuvulekile ekusetshenzisweni kahle kwebinzana? Ake sithathe izici zayo:

• Ubudlelwano obuvulekile yigama elisetshenziselwa ukukhomba ngokuqondile ubudlelwano phakathi kwabalingani ababili abazibophezele, lapho bobabili noma oyedwa wabo efuna ukuxhumana nabanye abantu.
• Ebudlelwaneni obuvulelekile, ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo kusesenomlingani oyinhloko, kuyilapho ubudlelwano bangaphandle nabalingani bocansi bungokokwanelisa ucansi noma ukwaneliseka.
• Izindlela zokwabelana ngocansi zingaba yizitendi zobusuku obubodwa, i-bootie-call, isimo sabangane abanezinzuzo, ukuthola i-unicorn, ukuzulazula kafushane, ukushwiba, noma elinye ilungiselelo kuye ngokuthi umbhangqwana uvumelana ngani
• Ukusondelana kwezothando akukhuthazwa
• Ubudlelwano obuvulekile bungasebenza njengendlela enhle yokuthuthukisa amandla ocansi, izifiso zocansi, kanye nesasasa ebudlelwaneni

Uma lonke lolu lwazi kuze kube manje lube lukhulu, ungakhathazeki! Sizobe sihlola ngayinye yalezi zitayela zokuhlanganisa ze-CNM ngokuzibeka ngokumelene nezinye. Lokhu ngokuvamile kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokuqonda okuthile, okusivumela ukuthi sibheke ngempela ama-nooks nama-crannies.

Uma ufuna ukwazi ukuthi siyini isisekelo noma ukuthi yini esekela ubuhlobo bokuziphatha okungeyona indoda eyodwa noma uzibuza ukuthi ungaqala kanjani ubuhlobo be-poly, funda kuze kube sekupheleni!

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I-Polyamory Vs Open Relationship - 8 Umehluko Oyinhloko

Njengoba i-polyamory kanye nobudlelwano obuvulekile buhilela ukuxhumana okusondelene okuningi, kungaba ezocansi, ezothando, noma kokubili, lezi zivame ukushuthelwa ebhokisini elingelona indoda eyodwa. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuthi sifinyelele umehluko omkhulu phakathi kwakho kokubili, sibuze u-Niyatii ukuthi ingabe unomuzwa wokuthi ukuvumelana noma ukuziphatha okungeyona indoda eyodwa (CNM noma i-ENM) kuyakhula.

“Ngokusekelwe eminyakeni yami eyishumi nantathu yokuhlangenwe nakho njengomeluleki wemibhangqwana, ngingasho ukuthi i-CNM iyanda kakhulu eminyakeni yamuva nje. Amapulatifomu okuqomisana aku-inthanethi, izinkundla zokuxhumana, kanye nokutholakala kolwazi ngobudlelwano obungenabo bomuntu oyedwa ngokokuziphatha konke kube negalelo ekwandeni kokubonakala nokwamukelwa. Ngenxa yalokho, abantu abaningi bahlola izinhlobo zobudlelwano ezingezona ezendabuko,” ephendula.

Nokho, uNiyati udonsela ukunaka kwethu eqinisweni elibalulekile. “I-Polyamory akuwona umqondo omusha futhi ibilokhu yenziwa amasiko nemiphakathi ehlukahlukene kuwo wonke umlando. Lokhu kwanda eminyakeni yamuva kungase kumane kubonise isimo sengqondo esithuthukayo somphakathi ngobuhlobo nokuthambekela kobulili.”

Manje njengoba sesazi ukuthi siye saphana phakade ngothando lwethu, ake sibheke ezinye zezindlela ukuthi kanjani. Nawu umehluko obalulekile ongu-8 phakathi kwe-polyamory vs ubudlelwano obuvulekile.

1. Ukugxila kanye nenhloso

"Nakuba ukugxila ebudlelwaneni obuvulelekile kuku-monogamy ocansini, ebudlelwaneni be-polyamorous, kumayelana nokungewona umfazi oyedwa. Lona umehluko obucayi phakathi kokubili," kusho u-Niyatii. Ozakwethu abasebudlelwaneni be-polyamorous bavame ukwabelana ngemizwa, imigomo yempilo, kanye nolwazi lwansuku zonke bodwa. Ukuxhumana okungokomzwelo kanye nezibopho ezijulile ziyatshalwa phakathi kwabalingani abaningi.

Ngokuphambene, siyazi ukuthi buyini ubuhlobo obuvulekile nokuthi buyini umgomo wabo. Esikhungweni nguzakwethu oyinhloko, nanoma yikuphi ukuxhumana kwangaphandle okusala ngokuyinhloko ngokocansi kanye nemvelo yesibili. Ukuzibandakanya ngokomzwelo nozakwethu bangaphandle kuvame ukukhawulelwa noma kudikibale. Kugxilwe ekugcineni isibopho esiyinhloko kuyilapho uvumela inkululeko yobulili.

Manje, umgomo owodwa awungcono kunomunye, uhlukile nje. Okufunayo ebudlelwaneni bakho kuzonquma ukuthi yikuphi okungcono kakhulu kuwe. Kungcono ukujwayelana, ake sithi, izinzuzo nezingozi zazo zonke izinhlobo zobudlelwano obuvulekile noma be-ENM bese ubona ukuthi indlela yokuphila iyakufanela yini.

2. Isakhiwo sobudlelwane

Njengoba sixoxile ekuqaleni, siyazi ukuthi ubudlelwano be-polyamorous bungahlelwa ngezindlela ezahlukene. Kungase kube nezinhlobo eziningana ze-polyamory ezifana ne-triad evaliwe enabantu abathathu; noma i-quad eguquguqukayo enabantu abane. Kungase kube khona abantu abaningi abathintekayo ku-polycule ene-plethora yezinhlanganisela ezingenzeka.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ubudlelwano obuvulekile buvame ukusekelwe ebudlelwaneni obuyinhloko obuvumela oyedwa noma bobabili abalingani ukuba babe nobudlelwano bocansi obungahleliwe ngaphandle kobudlelwano ngobudlelwano obungahleliwe . Njengoba ubudlelwano bangaphandle bunamandla kakhulu futhi buvame ukungabalulekile, akukho ukushintshashintsha kwesimo noma isakhiwo salobu budlelwano.

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3. Ukuxhumana kanye nokwenza izinto obala

"Ukuze usebenzise i-polyamory, umuntu udinga isibindi, ukwethembeka, nokuhlonipha okuphezulu kokungafihli. Ubuhlobo be-polyamorous budinga izinga elifanayo lokukhulumisana, ukwethembana, nokuhlonipha njengobudlelwane bomuntu oyedwa, uma kungenjalo, ngenxa yobunzima bokuba nabalingani abaningi," kusho u-Niyatii.

Ukuxhumana kubalulekile kunoma yiluphi ubudlelwano futhi ikakhulukazi kulabo abangenabo abantu ababili. Eqinisweni, kokubili ubudlelwano be-polyamory kanye nobudlelwano obuvulekile budinga ukuxhumana okuvulekile kanye nokungafihli lutho. Kodwa-ke, ubudlelwano be-polyamory buvame ukudinga izinga eliphezulu lokuxhumana ngenxa yokutshalwa kwezimali ngokomzwelo kanye nobudlelwano obuningi obuhilelekile. Kubalulekile futhi ukuthi kube nokuxhumana okunengqondo phakathi kwabo bonke abalingani ebudlelwaneni.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ebuhlotsheni obuvulekile, ukuxhumana okuphumelelayo kufanele kube khona phakathi kwabalingani ababili abakhulu noma "abalingani abayinhloko". Asikho isidingo sokuxhumana nabalingani besibili bocansi njengoba lokho kuxhumana kuvame ukuhlala isikhashana.

4. Izigaba zobudlelwano

Ukukhuluma "ngozakwethu oyinhloko" noma "umlingani oyinhloko", ebuhlotsheni obuvulekile, kuvame ukuba nesigaba esicacile, esinobudlelwano obuyinhloko, obubizwa nangokuthi ubudlelwano obuphakathi, obuhamba phambili ngaphezu kwanoma yikuphi ukuxhumana kwangaphandle. Lobu ubudlelwano obulandelanayo futhi kulula ukubuqonda. Kodwa, indaba yokuhlelwa kobudlelwane ku-polyamory iyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu.

Nakuba, ubudlelwano be-polyamorous bungase bube nesigaba noma bungabi naso, kuye ngabantu abahililekile, abanye abantu abathanda i-polyamorous benza i-hierarchical polyamory, lapho kusungulwa khona ubudlelwano obuyisisekelo, obusesibili, nobemfundo ephakeme. Abanye abaningi bakhetha i-non-hierarchical, noma i-egalitarian polyamory, ebeka phambili bonke ubudlelwano ngokulinganayo, lapho kungekho muntu oyedwa onethonya elengeziwe phezu kwabanye.

Ukuqhubeka nalokhu, abanye abantu abathandana nabantu abaningi basebenzisa "ubudlova bobudlelwano obungebona obusezingeni eliphezulu", lapho benqaba khona noma yiluphi uhlobo lobuholi hhayi nje kuphela esakhiweni sabo sobudlelwano kodwa nasezinkundleni zabo zokuxhumana. Okusho ukuthi bayabenqaba ebuhlotsheni babo bothando, ucansi, kanye nobudlelwano obuhlelekile . Abalingani ababalulekile ngaphezu kwabangane. Futhi ukusondelana noma uthando akugcini nje ngabantu abalala nabo.

5. Imingcele nemithetho

Ingabe lokhu kube yinto ekhungathekisayo kuze kube manje? Uma kunjalo, ubungaliqonda kangcono leli phuzu. Ukuba sebudlelwaneni obuthanda abantu abaningi kusho ukuthi kunemithetho nemingcele eyinkimbinkimbi yobudlelwano obuthanda abantu abaningi ukuqinisekisa ukuthi bonke abantu bazizwa bephephile futhi behlonishwa. Lezi zivumelwano zingafaka izinto ezifana nokuphathwa kwesikhathi, ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo, amalungiselelo okuphila kanye nokuhlukana okuhlobene, kanye nokunye okulindelwe ebudlelwaneni.

Ubudlelwano obuvulekile, okwamanje, buba nemithetho elula nemingcele yocansi. Kugxilwe ekulawuleni ukuxhumana kocansi kwangaphandle kanye namazinga okubandakanyeka kwezocansi, kanye nasekuvimbeleni ukuzibandakanya ngokomzwelo nabanye abantu. Nazi izibonelo ezimbili zokuqondisa iphuzu esizama ukulenza.

• Vula ubudlelwano: Umbhangqwana uyavuma ukulala nabanye abantu lapho behamba ngokuhlukana. Baxhumana futhi bavumelane ngemingcele yokuhlangana ngokocansi, okungase kuhlanganise izinto ezifana ubulili obuphephile (amakhondomu, amadamu amazinyo, njll.), ukusetshenziswa kwamathoyizi ocansi, ukuxhumana mayelana nokuthi ukuhlangana kwenzeka nini, nezinye izindaba ezinjalo ezingokoqobo. Uma sebebuyela ekhaya baphinde baqhubeke nobudlelwano babo njengenjwayelo. Noma bakhuluma ngakho, kuye ngokuthanda kwabo
• Ubudlelwano be-Polyamorous: Umuntu unabalingani ababili abahlala nabo futhi ababona nsuku zonke, futhi unabanye abalingani abangababoni kangako, kodwa abaxhumana nabo ngokujulile. Kulesi simo, ukuguquguquka kungase kufike ngendlela yokuxoxisana nokunaka phakathi kwabo bonke ozakwethu, njengokuhlela isikhathi nozakwethu ngamunye noma ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi izidingo zawo wonke umuntu ziyahlangatshezwa.

6. Ukuzibandakanya komphakathi

Abantu abane-Polyamorous bavame ukubamba iqhaza emphakathini omkhulu wabantu abanomqondo ofanayo ababelana ngezinsiza, izeluleko, nokusekelwa. "Lokhu kubandakanyeka komphakathi kungaba yingxenye ebalulekile yesipiliyoni se-polyamorous," kusho u-Niyatii. Kumuntu owake waba ngumfazi oyedwa manje ofisa ukuhlola izitayela zobudlelwano obunjalo, ukwesekwa komphakathi kanye nemfundo kunganikeza isiqalo esifanele.

Ngokuphambene nalokho, ubudlelwano obuvulekile bungase bungahileli isici somphakathi, njengoba kugxilwe ekubambisaneni okuyinhloko kanye nezinto ezifunwa umuntu ngamunye. Ukuzibandakanya komphakathi kuvame ukugwenywa njengoba ubudlelwano obuvulekile bugcinwa buyimfihlo kakhulu, noma bunwetshwe kakhulu embuthanweni ovaliwe wangasese, isibonelo, ukushintshana kwabalingani noma iklabhu yabashintshi.

7. Ukuqashelwa emphakathini kanye nokuzazisa

Kusukela ekugcineni kuyacaca ukuthi ubudlelwano phakathi kwabantu abaningi buhilela izinga elithile lokuqashelwa komphakathi, lapho abanye abalingani bekhetha ukugubha izibopho zabo ngemikhosi noma ezinye izimemezelo zomphakathi, njengomshado we-polyamory. Lokhu kwenzeka ngokuyinhloko ngoba abaningi abathanda i-polyamory baziveza obala njengabantu abathanda i-polyamory, bemukela ngokuziqhenya lobu buntu, okwenza i-polyamory ibe yinhlangano yomphakathi!

Ubudlelwano obuvulekile, nokho, ngokuvamile bugxile kumbhangqwana wokuqala, ukuxhumana kwangaphandle kuhlala kuyimfihlo. Nakuba kuyoba okungalungile ukusho ukuthi abekho abathanda ubudlelwano obuvulekile abavulelekayo mayelana nobunikazi babo bocansi, kuyaye kuqashelwe ukuthi abaphila impilo evulekile bayaxoxa futhi bazilolonge ngokuthula. Cabanga ngamahemuhemu "umshado ovulekile" endaweni yakho yokuxhumana noma iklabhu yokushwiba yosaziwayo eyingxenye ye-gossip tabloid!

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8. Uketshezi kanye nokuvumelana nezimo

Kokubili ubudlelwane be-polyamory kanye nobudlelwano obuvulekile bungaba uketshezi futhi buvumelane nezidingo zabantu abahilelekile. Kodwa-ke, ukuba sebudlelwaneni be-polyamorous kusho ukuthi umuntu kufanele abe nezimo eziguquguqukayo, uketshezi, futhi amukeleke. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi ngokuvamile kunabantu abaningi abahilelekile futhi okungenzeka kube nokunqwabelana nokuba yinkimbinkimbi ebudlelwaneni.

Isibonelo, ungase uthande abantu abathathu. Ngamunye walaba bantu abathathu angaba nezifiso ezahlukene, izintandokazi zocansi nezothando ezihlukile, kanye nokulindela okuhlukile kwabanye ubudlelwano . Omunye wabo angase afune ukuhlola ubudlelwano obuningi, kanti omunye angase afune ukuthanda umuntu oyedwa kuphela ngenkathi evumela abanye ukuba bathande abantu abaningi. Lokhu kuholela ekutheni wonke umuntu ahlanganyele engxoxweni ehloselwe kakhulu ngemingcele kanye nokulindela kunalokho abalingani bobudlelwano obuvulekile okuzodingeka bakwenze.

Ingabe Kukhona Ukufana Phakathi Kwe-Polyamory Nobudlelwane obuvulekile?

Ukuqonda umehluko phakathi kwe-polyamory kanye nobudlelwano obuvulekile kungasiza abantu ukuthi benze izinqumo ezinolwazi mayelana nohlobo lwesakhiwo sobudlelwano esibafanele kangcono. Kodwa kanye nomehluko phakathi kwe-polyamory vs ubudlelwano obuvulekile, kukhona ukufana okufanele ukukhuluma ngakho okungasenza siqonde i-CNM kangcono. Ake sibheke ukuthi yini eyenza zombili lezi zinqumo zendlela yokuphila zibe izindlela ezinhle zokwamukela izifiso zomuntu zocansi kanye nezothando kuyilapho uhlonipha wonke umuntu ohilelekile.

Ekhuluma ngokufana phakathi kwalezi zindlela ezimbili zokuphila, u-Niyatii uthi:

• Bobabili abantu abane-polyamorous kanye nozakwethu bobudlelwane obuvulekile bazibophezela ngokuzibophezela ekuzilolongeni okungekona ukushada komuntu oyedwa ngokuvumelana nokuziphatha ngendlela enenhlonipho kakhulu.
• Zombili izinhlobo zobudlelwano zidinga ukuxhumana okuvulekile nokuxoxisana ukuze wonke umuntu abe sekhasini elilodwa
• Zombili zibeka phambili indima yemvume enolwazi kanye nokuhlonipha imingcele nezidingo zabo bonke ozakwethu
• Kokubili kungenziwa abantu banoma yibuphi ubulili, ubulili obuthile, noma isizinda
• Kokubili kudinga izinga eliphezulu lokwethembana nokwethembeka phakathi kwabo bonke abathintekayo
• Kokubili kuphonsela inselelo izinkambiso zendabuko zomphakathi kanye nokulindelwe okuzungeze ukushada nomuntu oyedwa kanye nobudlelwano
• Kokubili kuhilela ukuthi kungenzeka umona kanye nesidingo sokuvuthwa ngokomzwelo kanye nokuzazi ukuze bhekana nomona futhi ulawule imizwa eyinkimbinkimbi engavela

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amathiphu Ayisi-9 Aphezulu Okwakha Ukwethembana Ebudlelwaneni

Wonke la maphuzu abalulekile engxoxweni, kodwa sithanda ukuqokomisa amaphuzu wokugcina ngenhla futhi sikhulume ngomqondo "wokucindezela".

• Ukuqonda kuqondwa kangcono njengokuphambene nomhawu futhi kuyisisekelo sempilo ye-CNM, ikakhulukazi i-polyamorous. Ukuzwa injabulo enjabulweni yomlingani wakho, noma “ukucindezela”, yikho okushayela lobu budlelwano. Ngokusho kuka-a cwaningo, “imizwa yokuzizwa ubalulekile, ukuzizwa ulondekile, ukwaneliswa izidingo zomuntu ebudlelwaneni bomuntu oshade naye, nokukhulumisana okuhle nomngane wakho womshado” kwakuyizici ezibalulekile ezenza kube lula ukuba nobudlelwano ebuhlotsheni.

Ngakho-ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi unentshisekelo yokuhlola indlela yokuphila ye-CNM, noma ufuna ukwazi, noma uma ufike kuleli khasi ngengozi (enhle), leli yithuba elihle lokuhlola ubudlelwano bakho bamanje namandla akho othando. Ingabe ihlushwa umona, noma ivumela imizwa yokucindezelwa - ukujabula ngenjabulo yomlingani wakho - kuzo zonke izici zokuphila, kuhlanganise kodwa kungagcini othandweni, ezothando, kanye nocansi?

I-Bonobology iyindawo ephephile nefundisayo yokuhlola le mibuzo. Ungabheka imibuzo yobudlelwano futhi uhlole izeluleko zobudlelwano ukusiza ekwakheni ubudlelwano obuhle nomlingani wakho obuphawulwa uthando, ukwethembana, ukuxhumana, inhlonipho, injabulo kanye nenjabulo. Noma uma ufuna ukufunda ukuthi ungaqala kanjani ubudlelwano obune-poly, iyiphi indawo engcono yokuqala uhambo kunokuxhumana nomunye wabeluleki bethu abanolwazi , ongakunika amandla ngamathuluzi afanele okuqala lolu hambo? Ungabe usabheka phambili! Silapha ngawe.

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Ukuthola Umuntu Okhethekile Ngemva Komshado Ebunganeni

Izindaba Eziku-inthanethi Zilungisa Kabusha Umbono Wokwethembeka Emshadweni Wesimanje

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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