Isinqumo sokwabelana ngendawo yokuhlala nomlingani wakho singaba yinto ethokozisayo futhi edabukisayo ngesikhathi esisodwa. Phela, akusona nje isinyathelo esikhulu ebudlelwaneni benu kodwa futhi isahluko esisha sempilo yenu. Ukuqinisekisa ukuthi lesi sahluko sidlala kahle, udinga uhlu lokuhlola lokungena ndawonye. Futhi hhayi nje noma yiluphi uhlu. Uhlu oluqinisekiswe uchwepheshe!
Udinga futhi ukuphendula imibuzo emikhulu kakhulu efana nokuthi: Kungani ufuna ukuthuthela kumlingani wakho? Kushesha kangakanani ukuthuthela kumlingani wakho? Futhi ungaluhlela kanjani lolu shintsho? Ucwaningo lwamuva nje lubalule imikhuba yokusebenzisa imali, ukungcola, kanye nokwabiwa okungafanele kwemisebenzi yasekhaya phakathi kwezinye izinto ezinkulu ezibangela impikiswano phakathi kwemibhangqwana ehlala ndawonye. Izinkinga ezinjalo zingagwenywa ngokucabanga okujulile nangokuhlela kahle.
Ukuze sikusize ngakho, sixhumane nomqeqeshi wezempilo ngokomzwelo kanye nokuzindla uPooja Priyamvada (oqinisekiswe kwi-Psychological and Mental Health First Aid evela eJohns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health kanye naseNyuvesi yaseSydney), ogxile ekwelulekeni ngezinkinga ezifana nobudlelwano bomshado, ukuhlukana, ukuhlukana, usizi, kanye nokulahlekelwa. Ubuza imibuzo ebalulekile, weluleka ngezinto okufanele uzicabangele, futhi wabelana ngamathiphu okuhlala ndawonye nomlingani wakho.
Ingabe Nikulungele Ukuthuthela Ndawonye?
Okuqukethwe
Ukuhlalisana sekuyinto evamile ebudlelwaneni obuzibophezele besikhathi eside namuhla. Iningi lemibhangqwana likhetha ukuhlala ndawonye kuqala, bese libona ukuthi ubuhlobo buholela kuphi, kunokuba babophe ifindo ngokushesha. Kodwa ukungena ngokushesha kungabhidliza ubuhlobo. Phuthuma kulesi sinqumo futhi kungaba yinhlekelele.
Nakuba kudingeka uqaphele ukuthi kufanele nihlale ndawonye nini kulesi sinqumo, kunzima ukusho ukuthi kufanele nithandane isikhathi esingakanani ngaphambi kokuba nihlale ndawonye. Ngakho-ke, kusheshe kangakanani ukuthi nihlale ndawonye? Ngokusekelwe ekuhlaziyweni kocwaningo lwaseStanford University kanye nocwaningo oludumile , iningi lemibhangqwana linquma ukuthuthela kungakapheli nonyaka wokuthandana.
Ngisho noma okutholakele kulolu cwaningo kubonisa ukuthi ukuhlala ndawonye ngemva kweminyaka emibili noma ngaphezulu kwakungavamile, olunye ucwaningo luthole ukuthi ukwaneliseka kobudlelwano kwakuphezulu kakhulu emibhangqwaneni eyayishintshile ndawonye ngemva kweminyaka engu-1-3 yokuthandana. Udidekile? Ungadideki! Asikho isidingo sokuthi unamathele kusikhathi esibekiwe. Asikho isikhathi esihle sokuthatha isinyathelo esilandelayo. Okubalulekile ukuthi, usukulungele? Ukuzihlola ngobuqotho izizathu zakho kufanele kukunikeze impendulo yakho.
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Izimpawu zokuthi usukulungele ukuhlala nophathina wakho
U-Pooja uthi, “Uyazi ukuthi ufuna ukuyohlala nothile uma ufuna ukuyisa ubudlelwano kwelinye izinga.” Kodwa umuntu angaqiniseka kanjani? Uyanezela, “Bobabili abalingani bekufanele ngabe sebefinyelele esigabeni lapho bezokwazi khona ukusingatha izimpilo zabo ngokuzimela kodwa nokho bezwe isidingo sokuzinza futhi bafuna ukuba ndawonye.” Nazi ezinye izimpawu ezimbalwa ezikhombisa ukuthi usulungele isinyathelo esikhulu esilandelayo:
- Ufuna ukukhula ebudlelwaneni futhi ufuna ukwazana kangcono
- Manje usuyazi ukuthi ungalwa kanjani futhi wenze nomlingani wakho
- Nivuleleka omunye komunye mayelana nezimali zenu kanye nemigomo yenu yesikhathi esizayo
- Unezindlela ezifanayo zokuphila nezithakazelo ezifanayo
- Nihambe ndawonye izikhathi ezimbalwa
Ukuze uthole umbono oqondile wokuthi kufanele nihlale nini ndawonye, uPooja uncoma imibuzo embalwa efanele okufanele uzibuze yona ukuze uhlole ukuthi ukuhlala nomlingani wakho kungaba yini ukuthutha okufanele kuwe futhi ususe ukuthambekela kokuhlalisana nomlingani wakho kusenesikhathi :
- Ingabe usukulungele ukuyisa ubuhlobo kwelinye izinga?
- Ingabe ukulungele ukuzibophezela ngaphezu nje ukuphola othile?
- Ingabe uyakwazi ukuphatha zonke izici zempilo yakho ngokuzimela?
- Ingabe uzimele ngokwezimali?
- Ingabe unomuzwa wokuthi umlingani wakho nguye?
Uma ungakaqiniseki ukuthi usendaweni yini empilweni yakho nasebudlelwaneni lapho ungathatha khona lesi sinyathelo esilandelayo, cabanga ngezizathu zakho zalesi sinqumo. Noma thatha le mibuzo yokuhamba-ndawonye esikuklamele yona ngokukhethekile!
Izinto Okumele Nixoxe Ngazo Ngaphambi Kokuhamba Ndawonye
Lokhu kusiletha kwenye inkinga ebalulekile imibhangqwana eminingi ebhekana nayo lapho icabanga ukuhlala ndawonye. Kungani futhi yini kukho konke. Wazi kanjani ukuthi izizathu zakho zokuthutha zilungile? Futhi ulwenza kanjani lolu shintsho lungabi nazihibe ngangokunokwenzeka? Njengezinto eziningi, impendulo isekukhulumeni okucacile, nokwethembeka.
U-Pooja uyaphikelela, “Ungacabangi nje ngalezi zici. Hlala futhi ube nengxoxo nophathina wakho. Xoxisanani futhi nixoxe. Sebenzisa ipeni nephepha uma kufanele.” Nazi ezinye izinto okufanele nixoxe ngazo ngaphambi kokuthi nihambe ndawonye ukuze uthole ukuthi usukulungele kangakanani:
1. Kungani nifuna ukuyohlala ndawonye?
Izizathu zokungena ekuhlelweni bukhoma zingahluka kusuka kwabashadile kuya kwabashadile. Abanye bakwenza ngoba kubonakala kuwuhlelo lwemvelo lokuqhubekela phambili, isitebhisi somshado. Abanye ngenxa yokuthi bayahlanya othandweni kanti abanye basenezizathu ezingokoqobo, ngokwesibonelo, ukonga imali noma ezinye izinzuzo zezezimali. Uma wena nophathina wakho nixoxa ngokuhlala ndawonye, khulumani ngokuthi kungani nifuna ukukwenza, futhi nibheke ukuthi izizathu zenu zokwenza lesi sinqumo ziyahambisana yini.
Uyafuna ukuhlola ubudlelwano bakho futhi ubone ukuthi ufanelana kangakanani? Ingabe nobabili nizizwa nizibophezele ekuthatheni isinyathelo esilandelayo? Ingabe uyafuna ukumazi kangcono umlingani wakho? U-Pooja uthi, “Ukuhlangana nothile ezinkundleni zokuxhumana noma isikhashana uma uye eholidini kuhlukile. Ukuhlala nophathina yilapho ozakwethu betholana khona ngokugcwele.”
Ngisho noma izizathu zakho zivumelana, lokho akusho ukuthi kuyisizathu esihle sokuhlala nomlingani wakho. Ngezinye izikhathi abantu bathuthela ndawonye ukuze bonge imali yokuqasha kanye nezindleko zokwabelana . Ochwepheshe basikisela ukuthi ukuba nesisusa sezezimali sokuhlala nomlingani wakho akuwona umqondo omuhle. Izizathu zakho kudingeka zisekelwe emqondweni wokuzibophezela, uthando kanye nethemba okungenani esikhathini esizayo esiseduze.
2. Khuluma ngemali
Imali akuyona nje indaba eningi kodwa uhlelo oluphelele lwenani. Ingxoxo exakile nenzima kungakhathaliseki ukuthi hlobo luni lobuhlobo. Kodwa uma nizohlanganisa izimpilo zenu, kufanele nibhekane nalesi simo esinzima. Bobabili abalingani kumele bavuleleke futhi baveze obala ngesikhathi sengxoxo yemali ukuze bagweme ukucindezeleka kwezezimali esikhathini esizayo. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ngokuthutha ngokwako, kanye nesimo sesikhathi eside. Uma nithuthela kumlingani, kungaba nezindleko ezinkulu zokuthutha futhi kubalulekile ukuthi nobabili nazi nganoma yikuphi ukucindezeleka kwezezimali okungaholela kukho.
Khuluma ngesimo sakho sezezimali. Xoxa ngezikweletu nempahla. Ngokwesibonelo, ingabe unemali ebolekiwe, izikweletu zekhadi lokuthenga ngesikweletu, noma isibopho sezezimali ngomkhaya wakho? Ukungabi bikho obala kwezezimali kungatshala imbewu yokungathembani ebudlelwaneni, ikakhulukazi uma ningaphansi kophahla olufanayo. Kubalulekile futhi ukuthi nixoxe ngendlela enifuna ukusebenzisa ngayo nokonga imali njengombhangqwana.
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3. Xoxisanani ngokukhetha kwakho imisebenzi yasekhaya nezibopho
Ocwaningweni okukhulunywe ngalo ekuqaleni, imisebenzi yasekhaya yayiphezulu kakhulu ohlwini lwezingxabano phakathi kwemibhangqwana eyayihlala ngaphansi kophahla olulodwa. Ubuhlobo bethu nemisebenzi yasekhaya ngokuvamile buthwele kanzima ngenxa yokuhlukumezeka kwasebuntwaneni. Umuntu obone unina engcwatshwa emisebenzini angase azwele ngokuhlukaniswa ngokulinganayo komsebenzi.
Kungakho udinga ukugcina okulindele kungokoqobo kodwa futhi ukhulume nesihloko ngozwela nangesimo sengqondo sokuxazulula izinkinga. Isibonelo, umlingani ongumpheki omubi akufanele athathe isibopho sokwenza isidlo sasekuseni noma isidlo sakusihlwa. Ngakho-ke, ingabe bakhetha ukuwasha izitsha noma ukuwasha? Ukwazi ukuthi ubani othanda ukwenzani kungaqinisekisa impilo ngaphandle kokuxabana nokuxabana.
4. Xoxani ngokwenzeka komunye nomunye
Kubalulekile ukuthi nixoxe ngobuqotho ngobudlelwano benu besikhathi esidlule nokuthi kungani izinto zingahambanga kahle. Lokhu kuba yinto ebaluleke kakhulu uma noma ubani kini eke wahlala nomuntu wangaphambili. Ukuxazulula lezi zinkinga kusiza ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi anithwali umthwalo wemizwa wesikhathi esidlule ekusaseni lenu. Ukususa ukungaqiniseki kanye nakho konke ukungabaza kubaluleke kakhulu ekwenzeni lolu shintsho lube lula futhi luthele izithelo.
5. Yini oyilindele ebudlelwaneni?
Uzibona kuphi wena nomlingani wakho eminyakeni emihlanu phansi komugqa? Futhi bakuphi? Ingabe ukuhlala nomuntu oshade naye kuyisitebhisi somshado? Uyafuna ukuba nezingane? Uma kunjalo, ufuna ukuba nezingane nini futhi kungani? Lezi izinto ezimbalwa nje kweziningi okumele kuxoxwe ngazo ukuze kugwenywe noma yiziphi izimanga ezingajabulisi esikhathini esizayo.
Okunye okulindelwe isikhathi eside kungaba into elula njengesimo sobudlelwano bakho. U-Pooja uthi, “Ukukhuluma ngendlela enizibona ngayo njengombhangqwana nendlela enifuna ukubonwa ngayo kusiza nobabili ukuba nibe sekhasini elilodwa.” Ungashiyi indawo yezimanga ezingajabulisi kumlingani wakho.
6. Yabelana ngobungozi nezimfihlo, uma zikhona
Uma nithandana, kulula ukuba uhlobo oluhle kakhulu lwakho noma nini lapho unomlingani wakho. Ukuhlala ndawonye kuwumdlalo ohluke ngokuphelele. Yilapho nobabili nibona khona umuntu 'wangempela' eninaye futhi nikwazi ukubona ukuthi impilo yomshado ingaba njani.
Lokhu kusho nokuthi ukufihla noma yikuphi ukushiyeka, izimfihlo, noma ukukhubazeka kuba nzima kakhulu. Kungaba ukulwa nokulutheka noma ukwesaba izicabucabu, kuzokwaziwa kumlingani wakho ekugcineni lapho senihlala ngaphansi kophahla olufanayo. Kungani ungakhulumi ngalezi zici ezingezinhle kangako empilweni yakho ngaphambi kokwenza umnyakazo omkhulu futhi uphephise umlingani wakho noma yiziphi izinto ezingalindelekile ezingemnandi?
7. Kuthiwani uma kungasebenzi?
Kuyenzeka ngempela. Vuma, lesi simo sidlala engqondweni yakho uma ucabanga ngokwenza ushintsho olukhulu kangaka empilweni yakho. Futhi akulula neze ukuhlukana nomuntu ohlala naye . Ngakho-ke, kungani ungakhulumi ngakho njengabantu abadala ababili abavuthiwe? Le ngxoxo ingase ibonakale ingavumelani nhlobo nesimo sakho sengqondo samanje kodwa silalele. Kuzosiza ekuqedeni ukwesaba okuningi nokungabaza ongakuxazululi ngamabomu. Cabanga:
- Ubani ozosala futhi ozophuma uma kwenzeka nihlukana?
- Uzozihlukanisa kanjani izinto?
- Uzoyiphatha kanjani imali nempahla kulesi simo?
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Uhlu Lokuhlola Lokugcina Ngokuhlanganyela
U-Pooja uthi, "Kafushane, bobabili abalingani kufanele baqiniseke ngalesi sinqumo. Ukuthi lesi sinyathelo sithathwa ngaphandle kokuphoqwa noma ukwesaba ukulahlwa." Uma usulungisile ukuthi usukulungele yini ukuhlala ndawonye noma cha, kuza umsebenzi wokukwenza ngempela. Ukuphothula i-nitty-gritty yohlelo lwakho lokuhlala ndawonye kungaba inqubo enzima ngokwakho.
Lolu hlu lokuhlola oluphelele luzokusiza ekuhleleni, ekulungiseleleni, nasekuqaliseni ukuthutha, kusize ekwenzeni lula inqubo yokuthuthela nesoka lakho/ intombi yakho futhi kugujwe lesi sinyathelo esibalulekile osithathayo.
1. Qedela indlu yakho yokuqala nesoka noma intombi yakho
Okokuqala nokubaluleke kakhulu, udinga ukuphothula ifulethi lakho lokuqala nesoka noma intombi yakho. Ukuhlala ndawonye kungaqala ngezinqumo eziningi ezijabulisayo. Xoxani ngokuthi ningathanda ukuhlala kuphi nobabili - kwenye yezindawo zenu ezindala noma endaweni entsha yokumba.
Kuzodingeka nixoxe ngesabelomali nendawo, kokubili okungancika kuhlobo nendawo yomsebenzi wakho. Uzozishintsha kanjani izinto zakho? Ungawadinga ama-mover? Udinga ukukhuluma ngosayizi wesikhala esisha, inani lamakamelo, izintandokazi zokufakwa kanzima, ukuhlukaniswa kwendawo ye-closet, inhloso kanye nokusetshenziswa kwendawo yokuhlala, njll. Bheka ukuthi ungathanda yini ukuba nesivumelwano sokuhlalisana esibopha ngokomthetho.
- Siyini isivumelwano sokuhlalisana: Kuyisivumelwano esibopha ngokomthetho phakathi kombhangqwana ongashadile ohlala ndawonye. Isivumelwano sisiza ukuvikela amalungelo omuntu ngamunye kazakwethu uma uhlelo lwakhe luphuka ngokuzayo. Kuyasiza futhi ezimeni zezicelo ze-mortgage noma ekutholeni isondlo sezingane
2. Vumelanani ngokuhlukaniswa kwezikweletu
Ngakho-ke, usuvele udlule ku-rigmarole yezingxoxo zemali. Manje yisikhathi sokungena emininingwaneni emihle. Thola ukuthi uzokwabelana kanjani ngezindleko. Udinga uhlelo lomdlalo oluphathekayo. Bhekana nale mibuzo ngaphambi kokusayina isivumelwano sokuqashisa noma uqale ukupakisha amabhokisi akho:
- Ingabe kufanele uthole i-akhawunti yokuhlola ehlanganyelwe ukuze usebenzise izindleko?
- Ungakuphatha kanjani ukuthenga kwegrosa noma ezinye izikweletu zasendlini?
- Uzoyihlukanisa kanjani irenti? Ingabe izoba uhhafu nengxenye noma isekelwe emalini etholwa umuntu ngamunye?
- Kuthiwani ngezinsiza?
3. Beka imithetho eyisisekelo ezivakashini zasendlini
Izivakashi zivame ukuba yimbangela yokungezwani ebudlelwaneni obuhlala ndawonye. Nobabili wena nomlingani wakho nizophila impilo yenu yokuxhumana nabantu. Lokhu kungabandakanya ukwamukela abantu noma ukuba nezivakashi zasekhaya ngezikhathi ezithile, okungaba yimbangela yokuxabana nokungajabulisi uma nobabili ningekho ndawonye. Kodwa, ukukhulumisana okuvulekile kungakusiza ukuthi ubeke imingcele mayelana nomndeni nezivakashi. Kubalulekile ukuxoxa ngalokhu okulandelayo:
- Uzizwa kanjani ngezivakashi kanye nokusingatha?
- Ungathanda ukujabulisa kangaki?
- Umngane oswele angaphahlazeka kuze kube nini esofeni lakho, uma kunjalo?
- Ubani ongahambisa izinto zakhe lapho izivakashi zidinga indawo eyengeziwe?
4. Khuluma ngomthelela empilweni yakho yocansi
Izinsuku zokuqala zanoma yiluphi ubudlelwano zichazwa yisigaba sokungakwazi ukugcinana. Kodwa leso sikhathi somshado sizophela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi futhi ukuguquguquka kwenu kuyashintsha kakhulu uma seniqala ukuhlala ndawonye. Ukuqina kanye nesigqi sempilo ezinzile kuzokwenza uthando luphele kancane kodwa ungalenzi iphutha elikhulu lokuvumela uthando luphele ngokuphelele.
Xoxa ngakho ukuze ubone ukuthi nobabili nizizwa kanjani ngalokhu okungenzeka. Okokuqala, indlela wena nophathina wakho nesabela ngayo ingaba isivivinyo se-litmus sokuthi ngabe niyahlala nesoka/intombi yakho maduze. Okwesibili, ningazilungiselela ukubhekana nalokhu ngokuzibophezela ekuchitheni isikhathi esisezingeni nodwa.
U-Pooja uyanezela, “Ngisho nezindaba ezinjengokuvimbela inzalo kudingeka kuxoxwe ngazo ngendlela entsha.” Bona lokhu njengethuba lokuxoxa ngezinhlelo zakho zokuba umzali ngamunye. Lawa macebiso okuhamba ndawonye, ngandlela thize, ayiziqondiso zokulungisa ubudlelwano bakho!
5. Singakanani isikhathi sesikrini esamukelekayo?
Enye into engasiza ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi isikhathi esiseqophelweni eliphezulu nozakwenu asiphumeleli uma seniqale ukuhlalisana yingxoxo emayelana nesikhathi sesikrini. Ukubuka ungenalutho kumakhompyutha aphathekayo nezikrini ze-TV sekuyingxenye nje yemvelo yobuntu bethu. Abantu abaningi ababoni ngisho nalapho lokhu kuthambekela kuba ngokweqile.
Kodwa-ke, lokhu kungaba yiphuzu elibuhlungu ebudlelwaneni. Ukuzifihla emakhanda ethu ocingweni, nokuphequlula izinkundla zokuxhumana kuthinta ubudlelwano bethu . Umzuzu ngamunye ochithwa ubuka isikrini udla isikhathi senu ndawonye. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukubeka umkhawulo wesikhathi sesikrini owamukelekayo nobabili kusengaphambili.
6. Imikhuba yokudla kufanele ibonakale ohlwini lwakho
Ngisho noma benilala endaweni yomunye kaningi ngokwanele, kubalulekile ukukhuluma ngemikhuba yokudla futhi niyenze ivumelane ngangokunokwenzeka. Lokhu kuzokwenza uhlelo lwakho lokuhlala lushelele futhi lungabi nezinkathazo. Lokhu akusho ukuthi kufanele udle ukudla okufanayo ngemva kokudla, usuku nosuku. Kodwa kuhle ukwazi izintandokazi zomunye nomunye.
Le ngxoxo iba yisidingo nakakhulu uma imikhuba yakho yokudla ihlukene kakhulu. Isibonelo, uma umlingani oyedwa engu-vegan kanti omunye engumuntu oqinile ongadli imifino. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kumelwe nifunde ukwenza ukuthula nokuthandwa omunye nomunye.
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7. Kuthiwani ngesikhathi sami?
Ukuhlala ndawonye akusho ukuhlangana enqulwini ngaso sonke isikhathi. Nobabili nizodinga indawo yenu yomuntu siqu kanye nesikhathi sokubamba umoya kanye ngesikhathi noma nje niphumule ngemva kosuku olude olunzima. Bheka ukuthi singakanani isikhathi uwedwa osidingayo lapho uhleli nomlingani wakho futhi wenze isikhala sakho, kokubili ngokoqobo nangokomfanekiso.
Uma uhlela ifulethi lakho lokuqala nesoka lakho noma intombi yakho, beka ikamelo noma ikona njengendawo yakho siqu lapho ngamunye wenu eningangena khona lapho nidinga isikhathi sokuphumula, futhi niqiniseke ukuthi awekho amagqubu noma inzondo ngalesi sidingo sesikhala. Lokho kungenzeka kuphela uma uvuma ukuthi isikhala asisona isibonakaliso esibi ebudlelwaneni kodwa siyimfuneko yesibopho esinempilo.
8. Lungiselela uhlu lokuqala lwezindlu ezibalulekile
Ukunquma ukuhlala ndawonye kusho ukuthi nizomisa ikhaya elisha nomlingani wakho. Ngakho-ke, yenza umsebenzi wakho wesikole ezintweni ezibalulekile zefulethini lokuqala lombhangqwana futhi ulungiselele uhlu lwakho konke okudingayo. Kusukela kufenisha kuya kumatilasi, amakhethini, amalineni, izinto zokuhlanza, izitsha nezinto ezibalulekile zasekhishini, amathuluzi, isethi yosizo lokuqala, nezinto zokuhlobisa. Qiniseka ukuthi nobabili nibambe iqhaza ekunqumeni okudingekayo, futhi nithenge ndawonye.
9. Bona ukuthi yini ofuna ukuyigcina bese uyiphonsa
Leli khaya elisha olimisayo nomunye wakho obalulekile lizoba no-'thina' abaningi, kodwa futhi kufanele libe no-'wena' kanye 'nami'. Ngenkathi unquma ngezinto ongazithenga lapho usuka endaweni yakho, cabanga futhi ukuthi yiziphi izinto ongathanda ukuzigcina. Sonke sinezinto esinozwela ngazo. Kungaba yinoma yini kusukela engubeni oyintandokazi kuya esihlalweni esithokomele. Kodwa yenza lokhu ngokuhlakanipha. Khumbula ukuthi indawo yakho entsha kufanele ibe nesikhala sezinto zomlingani wakho kanye nazo zonke izinto ezintsha ozithengayo.
10. Hlukanisa indawo yokugcina
Ngaphambi kokuthuthela efulethini lakho lokuqala nesoka noma intombi, hlukanisani indawo yekhabethe ngokulinganayo. Abesifazane bavame ukudinga isikhala esengeziwe ukuze bangene ezintweni zabo. Kodwa lokho akufanele kusho ukuthi indoda isala nedrowa elincane ebhokisini eligcinwe egumbini lokuphumula. Ukungazweli okunjalo, yize kubonakala kuncane, kubonisa ukungalungi ezindabeni ezinkulu futhi kungaholela ekuthukutheleni ebuhlotsheni esikhathini esizayo.
11. Ukuhlobisa indlu yokuqala nesoka noma intombi yakho
Uma usuthathe zonke izeluleko ezibalulekile futhi wenze isisekelo kuza ingxenye ethokozisayo. Ukuhlobisa ifulethi lokuqala nesoka lakho noma intombi. Ufuna ukwenza kanjani ngakho?
Izoba njani imvelo yekhaya lakho elisha? Ipholile futhi ikhululekile? Noma i-chic futhi isezingeni eliphezulu? Ungathanda umbala onjani odongeni? Kuthiwani ngamakhethini nama-rugs? Hlobo luni lwezinkomishi zekhofi nezibuko zewayini? Kunendawo enkulu yokudlala lapha. Ingxenye ejabulisayo nejabulisayo kakhulu yokushintshashintsha nomlingani wakho. Sithemba ukuthi uzoyijabulela futhi wenze izinkumbulo eziningi.
12. Bhala uhlu lwakho lokuhlola
Uma kubhekwa ukuthi kunezici eziningi okufanele zicatshangelwe kanye nokukhetha okuningi okufanele ukwenze lapho nihlala ndawonye, kuyasiza ukubhala phansi konke enixoxile ngakho navumelana ngakho. Ngisho noma ungafuni ukuba nesivumelwano sokuhlalisana esisemthethweni, izinkulumo ezimbalwa nje ezibanzi eziphathelene nezezimali nemithetho eyisisekelo eyinhloko ongase ubhekisele kuyo ingaba usizo ngezikhathi zokungavumelani.
Kunjalo, ukuguquguquka kobudlelwano benu kanye nesigqi sempilo ndawonye kuzoshintsha njengoba nikhula njengabantu ngabanye nanjengombhangqwana. Ngakho, lolu hlu lokuhlola olubhaliwe akumele lubekwe etsheni. Kodwa kungenza njengereferensi ngalezo zinsuku zokuqala lapho ufunda izintambo zokwabelana ngekhaya.
Izikhombi Ezibalulekile
- Ukuzihlola ngobuqotho izizathu zakho zokuhlala nophathina wakho kufanele kukusize unqume ukuthi kuwumqondo omuhle yini kuwe
- Ngaphambi kokuthi ungene, khuluma ngezimali zakho, xoxa ngezinto ozikhethela imisebenzi yasekhaya, xoxa ngezinto ongase ube nazo esikhathini esidlule nokunye ubuthakathaka obungokomzwelo, okulindele ebudlelwaneni bakho.
- Xoxa nophathina wakho futhi uzilungiselele uma kwenzeka ubudlelwano bungaphumeleli
- Ngesinyathelo sangempela, udinga ukuqedela isikhala ozongena kuso ngokusekelwe ezidingweni zakho. Udinga ukuhlukanisa ukuhlukaniswa kwezikweletu, imisebenzi yasekhaya njll
- Beka phansi okulindele kanye nemingcele. Cabanga ngezivakashi zasendlini, isikhathi sesikrini, indawo yomuntu siqu, isimo sobudlelwano njll
Lokho kufanele kukumise ukuze uguqule iqabunga elisha ebuhlotsheni bakho nempilo yakho. Izinqumo ezimbalwa ezicophelelayo yikho konke okudingekayo ukuze ukwenze kuhlale isikhathi eside.
Lesi sihloko sibuyekezwe ngo- Okthoba 2022.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Ngokusekelwe ekuhlaziyweni kocwaningo lwaseStanford University kanye nocwaningo oludumile , iningi lemibhangqwana linquma ukuhlala ndawonye phakathi nonyaka wokuthandana. Okutholakele kukhombisa nokuthi ukuhlala ndawonye ngemva kweminyaka emibili noma ngaphezulu akuvamile kakhulu.
Kungokwemvelo ukungabaza ngaphambi kokuyohlala nesoka/intombi yakho njengoba kuyisinyathelo esikhulu osithathayo ebudlelwaneni bakho futhi ngeke uqiniseke ukuthi buzophela kanjani.
Kunzima ukubeka umunwe ukuthi kufanele nithandane isikhathi esingakanani ngaphambi kokuba nihlale ndawonye. Eminye imibhangqwana ingase ilungele ukuhlala ndawonye ngemva kwezinyanga ezingu-6 zokuthandana, kuyilapho abanye bengalinda kuze kube unyaka ngaphambi kokwenza lesi sinqumo.
Iseluleko esingcono kakhulu ukubuza imibuzo ebaluleke kakhulu yokuthi kungani ufuna ukuhlala ngaphansi kophahla olufanayo. Uma usuphendule ngendlela egculisayo yenza uhla lokuhlola isoka noma intombi.
Ingabe Ukuhlala Ndawonye Ngaphambi Komshado Kusho Ukuthi Niwulungele Umshado?
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.