Ingabe Ubudlelwano Bezobungane Ngezinzuzo Buyasebenza Ngempela?

Ezinsukwini ezimbalwa, umngane wami uShikha uya eholidini eGoa nensizwa asebeneminyaka eyisithupha elala nayo, kodwa angakaze nakanye ayibize ngesoka lakhe. Banabangane abanobudlelwano bezinzuzo. Bahlala emadolobheni ahlukene, kodwa nakanjani, izikhathi ezimbalwa ngenyanga, batholana ndawana thize phakathi, banezinsuku zabo ezimbalwa zothando, bese behamba ngezindlela zabo ezihlukene.

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uShikha nomfana basondelana ngempela. Kunjalo ukusondelana ngokomzwelo, futhi nokho azikho nhlobo umthwalo womhawu kanye nobunikazi. Bazizwa bekhululekile ukuthulula amathumbu abo komunye nomunye ngoba bazizwa bengenalutho. Babelana ngobudlelwano babo bangaphambilini, amaphupho abo, izinhliziyo zabo ezibuhlungu. “Uke wangitshela ngokujola kwakhe nomakhelwane wakhe isikhathi eside futhi yimi ngedwa engikwaziyo,” kusho uShikha. Wayeyithanda leyo ndaba ngoba yayimenza afune ukwazi okuthile ngaye okwakungenziwa muntu. Ngezinye izikhathi kuzwakala sengathi sithembeke kakhulu ebuhlotsheni bethu 'bobangane abanezinzuzo' kunalabo esishade nabo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ngikubungani abanobudlelwano bezinzuzo futhi ngiyabuthanda

Kwesinye seziqephu ze Men Mad, uBetty uyenga uDon ekamu likaBobby ehlobo, ngemva nje kokuba bobabili bephinde bashada. Ngemva kokuphunyuka kwehlathi, ngesikhathi belele ndawonye embhedeni, uBetty uthi kuDon mayelana nomkakhe omusha, “Leya ntombazane empofu. Ayazi ukuthi ukukuthanda kuyindlela embi kakhulu yokufika kuwe.” Okubi kodwa kuyiqiniso. Ngezinye izikhathi ubungane bothando noma umngane onezinzuzo kungakunikeza uhlobo lobuhlobo obuseduze ngisho nobuhlobo obuzibophezele obungenakukwazi.

Kuyini A Umngane Ngezinzuzo Ubudlelwano?

Sithola abaningi abasizungezile behileleke kumalungiselelo anjalo ‘abangane abanezinzuzo’. Lawa malungiselelo abuye abizwe ngokuthi ubungane bezothando, noma i-f&*k buddy, noma mhlawumbe ubuhlobo no-'akukho okuzosibambelela.' Kulungile, masibe ngokoqobo lapha: Kuhlala kuvame ukuba nezintambo ezimbalwa, awuzizwa kanjalo? I-Bonobology umnikelo Ayushmaan Chatterjee kubuza uma kunengqondo ngomuntu ukuba 'nobungane abanezinzuzo'.

Futhi, kunengqondo kangakanani ukuya ocansini nomuntu bese uphuma kunoma yikuphi ukuhlangana ngokomzwelo? Futhi, kuthiwani uma omunye wabalingani egcina ehlakulela ukunamathela komunye umlingani?

Ubungane obunobudlelwano bezinzuzo buyinkohliso ngempela. Ungase uqale ngokujabulela ucansi nje kodwa ukusondelana ngokomzimba okuphindaphindiwe kuvame ukuba nokuthambekela kokusunduza abantu ekuxhumekeni ngokomzwelo. Inkinga iphakama lapho omunye eqala ukuthambekela ngokomzwelo kanti omunye engakwenzi. Khona-ke kukhona okungenzeka ubuhlungu benhliziyo.

Ukuze siqonde abangani ngezinzuzo ubuhlobo kudingeka kanzima amaphuzu ambalwa.

• Akukho ukuzibophezela: Awukwazi ukulindela noma yikuphi ukuzibophezela, hhayi manje, noma nini. Ngakho-ke ngenkathi usebudlelwaneni nawe umlingani wakho we-FWB angase azibophezele komunye umuntu. Lokho kungenzeka ngokuphelele.
• Kufanele uvumelane ngokuphelele nalokhu: Awukwazi ukumane ungene ebunganeni obunobudlelwano bezinzuzo ngaphandle komcabango. Khuluma ngohlelo lwakho olunamathiselwe kwe-no-strings bese uluyisa phambili kuphela.
• Gwema izinkinga ezizayo: Ungakhangwa othile futhi lowo muntu ufuna i-FWB kuphela. Ungangeni elungiselelweni ucabanga ukuthi bazogcina bewele kuwe. Lokhu kungaba kabi kakhulu hlanganisa izinto.
• Bangaba kwamanye ama-FWB: Abantu bangase babe ngabangane abaningi abanobudlelwano bezinzuzo. Hlola ukuthi lokho kukusebenzela yini. Uma uzizwa ucasukile phuma kuhlelo lwe-FWB.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ulala nomngani wakho omkhulu? Nazi 10 okuhle nokubi

Ingabe abangani abanobudlelwano bezinzuzo bangasebenza?

“Yebo kunengqondo,” kusho U-Vaidi. “Akubona yini ubuhlobo obuhle nabangcono kunawo womabili la mazwe? Induduzo yobungane, ubungane nokwanelisa ubulili ngaphandle komthwalo olethwa umshado.”

Ukuhlangana ngokomzwelo kungase kwenzeke ekugcineni futhi yilapho ilungiselelo lihlukana khona uma bobabili bengekho ekhasini elifanayo noma lishintshela emshadweni uma bobabili bezwa ukuthi kulungile. UMeghna ibona kubalulekile ukuthi bobabili abathintekayo babe sekhasini elilodwa ngaphambi, ngesikhathi nangemuva kokuthi 'ubudlelwane' buhambile. Kuphela ngemva kwalokho konke kungahlala kuhlelekile.

Akukho lutho olungenangqondo ngokuzitika kubangani abanobudlelwano bezinzuzo, inqobo nje uma bobabili abathintekayo becacile ngakho, bazizwa Vivek.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-10 Ukuthi Uyasuka Kubangani Uya Ezithandweni

Ucansi luyisidingo somzimba futhi akudingekile ukuthi kube nemizwa ukuqinisekisa ukuthi lumnandi. Uma omunye wozakwethu egcina eba nemizwa ngomunye, sekuyisikhathi sokuthi ushaye ucingo — ukuthi uhlale noma uhambe - futhi lokhu kwenzeka kaningi. Labo abangani bakaVivek abaneseluleko sobudlelwano bezinzuzo.

Ngobudlelwane 'bobangane abanezinzuzo', akukho ukukhohlisa mayelana nobulili bakho ngakho-ke ungakhuluma ngakho ngempela. Kuwubudlelwane lapho abantu ababili bethandana futhi behloniphana futhi bethanda ukuya ocansini. Kunobuhle nenkululeko nokudlala kulokho kwethembeka. Ingxenye engcono kakhulu ukuthi awahlulelwa.

Bobabili ozakwethu ebudlelwaneni 'bobangane abanezinzuzo' bathola zonke izinto ezinhle ngokuba sebudlelwaneni - ukutotoswa, ucansi olungalawuleki, izimfihlo ezimnandi - ngaphandle kwezinto eziyisicefe eziza njengokuzibophezela, njengokubekezelela i-PMS yentombi yakho noma ukusiza isoka lakho liwashe izingubo zalo ngempelasonto.

Pho umngane onobudlelwano bezinzuzo usebenza kanjani ke? Ilungiselelo 'labangane abanezinzuzo' lisebenza kuphela uma ingxenye 'yomngane' iqhubeka nokusebenza. Uma ushintsha ukuguquguquka kwakho kube ubuhlobo bangempela, khona-ke leyo midlalo yokudlala ingase ingasabonakali i-sexy.

Ukufunda okuhlobene: Ukusuka Ebunganeni Okungenacala Kuya Endabeni Yocansi - Ukungathembeki Kwemizwa Kububhidliza Kanjani Ubudlelwano

Buhlala isikhathi esingakanani ubuhlobo be-FWB?

Sikholelwa ukuthi abangani abanezinzuzo ubudlelwano kufanele buhlale inqobo nje uma okulindelwe kungakhi. Ngakho lokho kungase kube amasonto ambalwa noma inyanga kuze kuphele ubumnandi. noma ingaba yiminyaka eyisi-6, njengoba kwakunjalo endabeni kaShikha.

Kufanele ihlale inqobo nje uma uthola ukwaneliseka okukhulu ngokomzimba kuyo, ujabule embhedeni, ungakhuluma nganoma yini ngaphansi kwelanga futhi ujabulele yonke indlela.

Kube khona abantu abangabangani abanezinzuzo, bashada bahlukanisa abantu kodwa babuyela empilweni yeFWB ngoba bephuthelwe. chemistry ngokomzimba nabalingani babo abahlukene. Lokhu empeleni kungenza izinto zibe nzima futhi zifinyelele Ukukopela. Ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi kufanele umise nini abangani bakho ngobudlelwano bezinzuzo. Akulungile ukuqhubeka njengabangane ngezinzuzo ngenkathi usebudlelwaneni. Kungaholela ekulimaleni okukhulu.

Kukangaki abangani abanezinzuzo bebonana?

Ubudlelwano be-FWB buhluke ngokusobala kwezokuqomisana ngoba uma uthandana nomuntu ufuna ezothando, ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kanye nobudlelwano. Uma ulalela abangani bethu ngezeluleko zobudlelwano bezinzuzo khona-ke into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ngalolu hlobo lobudlelwano ukuhlangana kuphela lapho ungasondelana ngokomzimba.

Ngaphandle kwalokho ungabambana emicimbini noma uma uzibandakanya neqembu lezigelekeqe kodwa ukuhlangana nge-cuppa nengxoxo akudingekile ngempela ebudlelwaneni be-FWB.

Yebo, ningakwazi ukuba nezingxoxo zenu lapho nilala ndawonye. Abangane abanezinzuzo bavame ukwabelana ngezimfihlo bodwa ngoba akwenzeki ukwahlulela.

Ngakho-ke uma ubuza ukuthi abangani abanezinzuzo kufanele babonane kangaki? Impendulo yethu izoba ukuthi kufanele bahlangane uma sebeya ocansini. Lokho kungaba izikhathi ezimbalwa ngesonto kuya kwezimbalwa ngenyanga ngisho nezimbalwa ngonyaka uma behlala ezindaweni ezihlukene.

Kodwa sikholwa ukuthi kukhona abangani abanemithetho yezinzuzo zabafana. Kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi baqinisekise ukuthi basebenzisa ukuzivikela, bakha imizwa imingcele futhi akufanele alindele umngane wakhe wakwa-FWB ukuthi amlungisele ikhabethe lakhe noma amnakekele lapho ephethwe umkhuhlane. Wayengakwenza ngaphambili njengomngane kodwa lapho usebudlelwaneni be-FWB nqamula ingxenye yemizwa kukho.

Basebenza kanjani abangani abanezinzuzo? Kahle!! kwabanye kusebenzela ucansi olukhulu kodwa abanye baba nemizwelo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kube khona izimo lapho ubuhlobo be-FWB buye baholela emshadweni kodwa ngokuvamile buholela ekuphukeni kwenhliziyo lapho imizwa ingena. Ngakho qaphela ukuthi ubhekana kanjani nakho.

8 Vula Imithetho Yobudlelwano Okufanele Ilandelwe Ukuze Kusebenze

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

Bheka Inqubo Yethu Yokuhlela

Hlangana Nebhodi Lethu Lokubuyekeza

Yabelana Ngempendulo

Ithini impendulo yakho?

×

Eziwusizo Bika Iphutha Izincwajana zemininingwane

Hambisa