Ungayiduduza Kanjani Intombi Yakho: Amathiphu ayi-15 alula (Ngezibonelo)

Lapho intombi yakho izizwa idangele, icindezelekile, noma iphatheke kabi, ungase uzibuze ukuthi yini okufanele uyisho noma wenze ukuze umenze azizwe engcono. Ukwazi ukuthi ungayiduduza kanjani intombi yakho kuncane mayelana nokuthinta komzimba okukhulu futhi kumayelana nokuyibonisa ukuthi uyayikhathalela ngezenzo ezincane kodwa ezinengqondo. Noma ngabe ubenosuku olubi emsebenzini, ucindezelekile ngempilo, noma udinga ukusekelwa ngokomzwelo, lo mhlahlandlela uzokuhlomisa ngamathiphu ongasebenziseka ukuze ube umthombo wakhe wenduduzo. Lawa macebiso acutshungulwe ngosizo lukadokotela wengqondo osekelwe eCalifornia kanye nomelaphi wokuziphatha kwengqondo, uDkt. Shefali Batra (MD kwezengqondo), ogxile ekululekeni ngokwehlukana nesehlukaniso, ukuhlukana nokuphola, kanye nezinkinga zokuhambisana ngaphambi komshado. 

15 Amathiphu Alula Okuthi Ungayiduduza Kanjani Intombi Yakho—Ngezibonelo

Ubudlelwano abukho nje ubumnandi nezothando; zimayelana nokwazi indlela yokusekela umlingani wakho ngokomzwelo ngezikhathi ezinzima. Ukuthola indlela jabulisa intombi yakho kungase kube nzima, kodwa isihluthulelo siwukuthi uzwela, ukuqonda, nokungaguquguquki. Ake singene emasu azokusiza ukuthi umeseke ngezindlela eziphusile.

1. Lalelisisa

Lapho othile ecasukile, indlela enamandla kakhulu yokusiza iwukulalela ngempela. Ukuzwa kungaduduza ngendlela emangalisayo. Lesi yisisekelo sendlela yokwenza ngokomzwelo sekela umlingani wakho. UDkt. Batra uyeluleka, “Gwema ukumphazamisa noma ukumnikeza izixazululo ngokushesha. Kunalokho, gxila ekuqondeni imizwa yakhe futhi uyiqinisekise. Ukulalela ngaphandle kokwahlulela kumenza azizwe ephephile ukuveza imizwa yakhe.”

Izibonelo

• Ithi, “Ngilapha ngenxa yakho. Ngitshele konke.”
• Sebenzisa la mazwi ukuze ududuze umuntu ocindezelekile: “Ngiyaqonda ukuthi kungani uzizwa ngale ndlela—kufanelekile.”
• Buza imibuzo evulekile: "Kwenzekani ngokulandelayo?"
• Gwema imishwana efana nokuthi, “Ungakhathazeki ngakho.” Kunalokho, vuma imizwa yakhe ngokuthi, “Kumelwe ukuba lokho bekunzima kakhulu kuwe.”

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2. Nikeza ukunethezeka ngokomzimba

Ukuthinta ngokomzimba ingenye yezindlela eziqinisekisa kakhulu zokunikeza ukwesekwa. Ukufunda indlela yokuqinisekisa intombi yakho kuvame ukuqala ngezimpawu ezingasho lutho. Ukugona, ukuthinta okuthambile esandleni sakhe, noma ukuhlala eduze kungakhulula i-oxytocin, eyehlisa ingcindezi futhi ikhuthaze umuzwa wokuxhumana.

Izibonelo

• Msonge ngokugona okufudumele bese uthi, “Ngikutholile.”
• Bamba isandla sakhe futhi umnikeze ukuminya okuqinisekisayo
• Hlala eduze kwakhe uthule, umvumele ancike kuwe
• Buza, "Ingabe ufuna ukuhlikihlwa emhlane noma ukugonwa?" Abanye abantu bancamela ukuthinta kuphela uma sebelungile
• Uma ucabanga ukuthi ungayisiza kanjani intombi yakho esikhathini sayo, nikela ngezinto zokushisisa noma ihlombe eliduduzayo ozoncika kulo

3. Letha ukudla okulula akuthandayo

Ukudla kungavusa umoya, ikakhulukazi uma kuwukudla okunethezekile akuthandayo. UDkt. Batra uyabelana, “Ukummangaza ngento ayithandayo kuyinto enhle isenzo sothando kanye nendlela elula yokubonisa ukucabangela. Amaphuzu ebhonasi uma wazi ukuthi uzoya koyodla okulula ngezikhathi ezinzima!”

Izibonelo

• Bonisa noshokoledi noma ikhekhe alithandayo
• Ithi, “Ngikhumbulile ukuthi uyazithanda lezi,” njengoba umunikeza ukudla okulula
• Lungiselela ukudla akuthandayo futhi umenzele khona
• Letha itiye noma ikhofi alithandayo futhi uhlale naye ngenkathi elijabulela
• Ukuze usize intombi yakho lapho isesikhathini, cabanga ngezifiso zayo—u-ayisikhilimu, amafrimu, noma izibiliboco ngokuvamile ziyaziswa.

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4. Qinisekisa imizwa yakhe

Ukuqinisekisa imizwa yakhe kubalulekile ekuqondeni ukuthi ungayiduduza kanjani intombi yakho. Ibonisa uzwela futhi igwema ukunciphisa lokho abhekene nakho. Lokhu akusho ukuthi kufanele uvumelane nombono wakhe, kodwa udinga ukuqaphela umuzwa wakhe ongokomzwelo. Awazi ukuthi uzoyithini intombi yakho uma ikucasulile? Nazi izibonelo:

Izibonelo

• “Lokho kuzwakala kukhungathekisa ngempela, ngiyabona ukuthi ucasulwe yini.”
• Gwema ukuphawula okulahlayo njengokuthi, “Akuyona into enkulu.”
• “Ngiyathola ukuthi kungani uzizwa ngale ndlela. Ake sikuhlole ndawonye.”
• Bonisa ukuthi uyaqonda: “Ngingazizwa ngendlela efanayo endaweni yakho.”
• Mqinisekise ngokuthi, “Imizwa yakho ivumeleke ngokuphelele, futhi ngilapha ukuze ngisize noma kanjani engingakwenza.”

Lokhu Umsebenzisi we-Reddit uxoxa ngendlela isoka lakhe eliduduza ngayo lapho licasukile. “Lapho ngikhala uqinisekisa imizwa yami futhi angitshele ukuthi kulungile ukudabuka, lapho ngithi ngiyayizonda into ethize, uthi naye uyayizonda.” Ngale ndlela, esikhundleni sokungiphushela okuthile okunobuthi, ungivumela ngizizwe ngithukuthele futhi ngidabuke futhi ngingcolile ukuze ngikwazi ukuzibamba (futhi uyangisiza) lapho sengilungele ukuqhubeka.” 

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5. Yiba umngane wakhe we-Netflix

Iziphazamiso ezifana nokubuka uhlelo olududuzayo ndawonye zingashintsha ukugxila kwakhe futhi zenze umoya wakhe ube lula. Makakhethe azokubuka ngaphandle kokukhononda. Kwesinye isikhathi, akudingayo nje isikhathi sekhwalithi kanye nezikhathi zokuphumula ezabiwe.

Izibonelo

• Ithi, “Masibuke okuthile okuzosusa ingqondo yakho ezintweni—okukhethayo.”
• Uma engafuni ukukhetha, nikeza iziphakamiso ezifana namahlaya alula noma uchungechunge lwe-nostalgic
• Kwenze kuthokomele ngokulungisa izingubo zokulala namaphophukhoni
• Qaphela, ngisho noma kuwuhlobo ongaluthandi

6. Thumela imibhalo ecatshangelwayo

Ukwazi ukuthi ungayiduduza kanjani intombazane ngombhalo kubalulekile, ikakhulukazi uma uku ubudlelwano bebanga elide noma uvele ungekho ngokoqobo okwamanje. Umlayezo onomusa ubonisa ukuthi umcabangela, ngisho noma nihlukene. Yiba qotho futhi ugweme ukumgcwalisa ngezeluleko. 

Izibonelo

• "Ngikhona uma ufuna ukukhuluma."
• “Unamandla kakhulu, futhi ngiyaziqhenya ngawe.”
• Yabelana nge-meme ehlekisayo ukuze umenze amamatheke.
• "Bengifuna ukukukhumbuza ukuthi umangalisa kangakanani."
• Cela ukushayela: “Ingxoxo esheshayo ingasiza? "

7. Yenza into obungayilindele

Izimanga zingaphula i-monotony futhi zilethe injabulo lapho ezizwa ephansi. Akukhona okuwubukhazikhazi kodwa mayelana nezenzo ezicabangelayo ezimkhumbuza ukuthi uyathandwa.

Izibonelo

• Umlethele izimbali ngoba nje
• Mshiyele uswidi inothi lothando njengokuthi, “Ungumuntu engimthandayo.”
• Mmangaze ngamathikithi omcimbi awuthandayo.
• Ithi, “Ngikubonile lokhu futhi ngacabanga ngawe” ngenkathi umnika isipho esincane kodwa esicabangelayo.
• Mthumelele ividiyo yakho usho okuthile okuhlekisayo noma okusuka enhliziyweni.

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8. Hlela umsebenzi onengcindezi ephansi

Imisebenzi elula, engenazo ingcindezi ingadambisa ingqondo yakhe. Amacebo anengcindezi ephezulu noma anemininingwane angameqa, kodwa ukuphuma kokhiye ophansi noma izikhathi okwabelwana ngazo zingazizwa zivuselela.

Izibonelo

• Phakamisa ukuhamba ngezinyawo epaki
• Nikeza ukupheka isidlo sakusihlwa ndawonye
• Mmemele kuthuleke usuku lwekhofi
• Dlalani umdlalo ophumuzayo noma nenze iphazili ndawonye

9. Dlala umculo awuthandayo

Uyazi ukuthi yini ujamu wakhe? Mhlawumbe ungumlandeli womculo we-country noma umuntu we-pop. Noma ngabe kuyini, menze abe uhlu lwadlalwayo olunethezekile futhi umdlalele lona. UDkt. Batra uthi, “Umculo unamandla okuphulukisa nokududuza.” 

Izibonelo

• Ithi, "Ngenze uhlu lwadlalwayo lwezingoma ezingikhumbuza wena."
• Dlala umculo ophumuzayo noma ojabulisayo, kuye ngesimo sakhe sengqondo
• Dlala i-albhamu yakhe ayintandokazi njengomculo wangemuva ngenkathi nindawonye
• Cula kanye naye ukuze unciphise umoya
• Ngephimbo elisemthethweni neliyinkimbinkimbi, cela umdanso kunkosikazi wakho. Indlela ezanyiwe yavivinywa yoku menze azizwe ekhethekile

10. Msize ngemisebenzi

Lapho ukuphila kukhungatheka, usizo olungokoqobo lungaba induduzo enkulu. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yimisebenzi yasekhaya noma imisebenzi, ukukhipha okuthile epuletini lakhe kubonisa ukuthi unguzakwethu angathembela kuye.

Izibonelo

• Songa ilondolo noma uhlanze indawo yakhe
• Ithi, “Ngizophatha isidlo sakusihlwa namhlanje—thatha ikhefu.”
• Yenza umsebenzi akade ewesaba
• Zicele ukuthi uhlele okuthile akuthola kunzima
• Msize ahlele usuku lwakhe uma ezizwa ecindezelekile

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11. Mkhumbuze ngamandla akhe

Lapho ezizwa ephansi, ukukhulisa ukuzethemba kwakhe kuyisu elihle lokuthi enze kanjani iqinise intombi yakho. Ukugqamisa impumelelo yakhe yesikhathi esidlule noma amandla kumkhumbuza ngamakhono akhe futhi kusize ekuphakamiseni isimo sakhe sengqondo. Wonke umuntu unezikhathi zokuzinyeza, kodwa isikhumbuzo esimnene sezimpumelelo zakhe singabusa umuzwa wakhe wokuzethemba. Hlela amagama akho ngendlela eyakhayo futhi uwenze mayelana nezimfanelo zakhe eziyingqayizivele.

Lokhu Umsebenzisi we-Reddit uthumele okufanayo, wabelana ngalokho okwenziwa umlingani wakhe lapho edangele. "Us/o wami wenze ividiyo, cishe imizuzu emi-2 ubude futhi nguye nje othi uyaziqhenya ngami futhi uyangithanda futhi ujabule ngami. Ingenza ngikhale njalo. Happy tears tho." Akumnandi lokho?

Izibonelo

• Ithi, “Uyamangalisa, futhi ngike ngakubona usingatha izimo ezinjengalezi ngaphambilini.”
• Lawa amazwi alungile okududuza umuntu ocindezelekile, “Ngiyaziqhenya ngendlela oqine ngayo.”
• Khumbula isenzakalo esithile: “Uyakhumbula lapho wenza leso simiso?
• Yabelana ngokuthi kungani umthanda: “Ngiyakuthanda ukuzimisela kwakho. Kuyakhuthaza.”
• Mkhuthaze ngokuthi, “Ngikholelwa kuwe 100%.

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12. Yabelana ngemizwa yakho

Ngezinye izikhathi, ukuba sengozini kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokusekela. Ukwabelana ngemizwa yakho nophathina wakho kwakha ukwethembana futhi kumsiza azizwe enesizungu emzabalazweni wakhe. Ukwabelana ngolwazi lwakho noma ukuvuma ukwesaba kwakho kungamenza azizwe exhumene kakhulu. Kuyisikhumbuzo sokuthi niyiqembu, elibhekene nezinselele ndawonye.

Izibonelo

• Ithi, “Ngike ngadlula kokuthile okufanayo, futhi ngiyazi ukuthi kungaba nzima kangakanani.”
• Vuma imizwa yakho ngalesi simo: “Ngiyakuzonda ukukubona ucasukile ngoba ngikukhathalela kakhulu.”
• Nakhu okumele ukusho entombini yakho uma ikucasukele: “Asiyixazulule le nto ndawonye, ​​ngikhona ngenxa yakho.”
• Vula mayelana nesikhathi owazabalaza ngaso futhi wasinqoba, okugqugquzela ithemba
• Mqinisekise ngokuthi, “Ngiyazi ukuthi sizokuqeda ndawonye lokhu.”

13. Hlonipha isidingo sakhe sendawo

Kwesinye isikhathi, enye yezinto ezinhle kakhulu ongazisho entombini yakho, kahle, lutho. Uma ethi ufuna isikhala, vele uhlehle umnike igumbi ukuze acubungule imizwa yakhe. Akuwona wonke umuntu ofuna ukunethezeka ngokushesha. Hlonipha isidingo sakhe sesikhathi eyedwa ngaphandle kokuzithathela yena mathupha. Mazise ukuthi ukhona lapho eselungile. Ukuhlonipha imingcele yakhe kubonisa ukuvuthwa nokwethenjwa.

Izibonelo

• Ithi, “Thatha sonke isikhathi osidingayo. Ngizoba lapha uma usulungile.”
• Gwema ukumxina ngemibuzo engapheli. Kunalokho, ngena kamuva
• Phakamisa umsebenzi ozolile wedwa njengokubhala ijenali noma ukufunda
• Nikeza ukwesekwa okuthulile ngokuba sendaweni efanayo ngaphandle kokukhuluma
• Lapho yena ucela isikhala, enye yezinto ezinhle kakhulu ongazisho entombini yakho ukuthi, “Ngiyaqonda uma ufuna ukuthatha isikhathi, futhi ngikhona ukuze ngikusize noma nini lapho ufuna ukukhuluma.”

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14. Khuthaza ukuzinakekela

Enye yezindlela ezingokoqobo zokumduduza iwukumkhuthaza ngesineke ukuba abeke inhlalakahle yakhe kuqala. Lokhu kuwusizo ikakhulukazi uma ungekho ngokomzimba naye futhi ufuna amathiphu okuthi ungayiduduza kanjani intombazane ngombhalo. Ngezinye izikhathi, ukucindezeleka noma ukudabuka kungenza ukuzinakekela kubonakale kuwumsebenzi onzima. Ngokungenelela ukuze umsize noma umgudluze ngobumnene, ungenza ukuzinakekela kufinyeleleke kakhudlwana.

Izibonelo

• Ithi, “Kungani ungagezi isikhathi eside ngenkathi ngiphatha izinto lapha?”
• Zinikele ngokumjoyina emisebenzini yokuphumula, njenge-yoga noma ukuzindla
• Mkhuthaze ukuba athathe ikhefu: “Ufanelwe ukuphumula—usebenze kanzima kangaka.”
• Lungiselela okuthile okumduduzayo, njengetiye noma ukudla akuthandayo
• Uyazibuza ukuthi ungayisiza kanjani intombi yakho esikhathini sayo? Mnikeze indawo yokushisisa noma uphakamise ukuthi aphumule ngenkathi wenza imisebenzi ethile

I-15. Yiba njalo

Ukwethembeka kubalulekile lapho ufunda ukusekela. Ukuzibonakalisa ngokungaguquki, ikakhulukazi ngezikhathi ezinzima, kwakha ukwethemba futhi kumqinisekisa ukuthi angathembela kuwe. Induduzo ayisona isenzo sesikhathi esisodwa; kumayelana nokwakha iphethini yokunakekela nokusekelwa. Ukungaguquguquki kwakho kubonisa ukuthi unguzakwethu onokwethenjelwa ebuhleni nasebubini.

Izibonelo

• Landela izithembiso, noma ngabe zincane kangakanani, ukuze wakhe ukwethembana.
• Ngena njalo: "Uzizwa unjani namuhla?"
• Ithi, "Ungahlala uthembele kimi, noma ngabe kwenzekani."
• Dala amasiko amancane okusekela, njengeviki ngalinye usuku lomhla noma umbhalo wasekuseni
• Yiba khona ngokomzwelo ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho ekudinga, hhayi nje ngezikhathi ezithile

Imicabango Final

Ukududuza intombi yakho akukhona nje ukuba namagama aphelele noma izixazululo—kumayelana nokuba khona, ukungaguquguquki, nozwela. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukumnika isikhala, ukumkhumbuza ngamandla akhe, noma ukumsiza ukuba abeke ukuzinakekela kuqala, lawa macebiso aqinisekisa ukuthi uyazi ukuthi ungayiduduza kanjani intombi yakho kunoma yisiphi isimo. Ngokulalela, ukuqinisekisa imizwa yakhe, nokubonisa izenzo ezincane zomusa, ngeke nje ufunde indlela yokujabulisa intombi yakho kodwa futhi uqinise isibopho sakho somzwelo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nokuzilolonga, uzoba umlingani onokwethenjelwa, omesekayo amdingayo futhi amazisayo.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.