Izinto Ezingu-8 Ezingasetshenziswa Ngokumelene Nawe Esahlukaniso Nendlela Yokuzigwema

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Isehlukaniso singaba esinye sezenzakalo ezicindezelayo nezikhungathekisa kakhulu ekuphileni komuntu. Impilo yakho yonke iphazamisekile - ukufutheka kwemizwelo, ukudonsa kanzima kwezimali, ukuguquka kwendlela yokuphila nezimo zokuphila, izingxabano, kanye nemidlalo eminingi engadingekile nengadingeki. Amacala angaba nzima, yingakho kufanele wazi ukuthi yini engasetshenziswa kuwena esahlukaniso.

Noma ngabe ukuhlukana okuhlangene noma isehlukaniso esiphikiswayo, isenzo esincane kunazo zonke singasetshenziswa njengobufakazi obumelene nawe futhi sibangele omunye umonakalo ecaleni lakho. Sikhulume nommeli Siddhartha Mishra (BA, LLB), ummeli osebenza eNkantolo Ephakeme YaseNdiya, mayelana nokuthi yini engasetshenziswa kuwe ngesehlukaniso nokuthi ungazivikela kanjani. Uphinde wacobelela abesilisa nabesifazane ngamathiphu edivosi waphinde wakucacisa nokungafanele ukwenze ngesikhathi sesehlukaniso.

Izinto Ezingu-8 Ezingasetshenziswa Ngokumelene Nawe Esahlukaniso Nendlela Yokuzigwema

Okuqukethwe

Isehlukaniso siyisenzakalo esibuhlungu ngempela kumbhangqwana onqume ukuqeda umshado wawo. Idivosi iyinqubo eyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu, ingenye yezinto ezibuhlungu kakhulu kunoma yimuphi umbhangqwana. USiddhartha. Akudingekile nje kuphela ukuthi wenze isinqumo esinzima ngokomzwelo sokuhlukana nomlingani wakho kodwa futhi uthole nezinye izinto zokusebenza - ukuthola ummeli, ukuhlola izimali zakho, ukuthola indlu, ukugcinwa kwengane, umthombo wemali engenayo, njll.

Njengoba kuningi okwenzekayo, imizwa yakho ingase iphakame futhi ikuphoqe ukuba wenze izinto ezibonisa ukuthi zingalimaza icala lakho. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukulawula izenzo zakho ngaphambi nangesikhathi sokuqulwa kwedivosi ngoba noma iluphi uhlobo lokuziphatha lungathathwa njengolungalungile ngowakwakho futhi lusetshenziswe njengobufakazi obumelene nawe enkantolo. Ukuqaphela ukuziphatha kwakho kudingekile kakhulu uma kukhona izingane ezithintekayo ecaleni.

Ngakho, yini ngempela engasetshenziswa ngokumelene nawe esahlukaniso? Izinkinga zentukuthelo, izikweletu, imilayezo yombhalo, ama-imeyili, okuthunyelwe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, izimpahla ezifihliwe, izitatimende zofakazi, izindleko eziwubukhazikhazi, ubudlelwano bothando - uhlu alupheli. Kuningi okumele ukunake uma ucabanga ukufaka isehlukaniso noma ukudlula kuso. Ukukusiza uzulazule esimweni esinjalo, sikwenzele uhlu lwezinto ezingu-8 ezingasetshenziswa njengobufakazi obumelene nawe esahlukaniso nokuthi ungazigwema kanjani.

1. Ungasebenzisi imali ngendlela engavamile yezimpahla zomshado

Yini okungafanele uyenze ngesikhathi sesehlukaniso? Elinye lamathiphu abalulekile edivosi kwabesilisa nabesifazane wukugwema ukusebenzisa imali okungadingekile noma okungabazekayo ngoba yonke into iyalandeleka. USiddhartha uyanaba, “Kunento ebizwa ngokuthi ukuchithwa kwempahla noma ukuchithwa komshado okubhekwayo uma ifayela lesehlukaniso. Kusho ukucekelwa phansi ngamabomu nokuqaphela kwezimpahla zomshado ngomlingani oyedwa. Lezi zimpahla bezizokwabiwa ngokulinganayo phakathi kombhangqwana ngesikhathi kuqhubeka icala. Kodwa uma bencishwe umngane womshado oyedwa, kungase kubangele inkinga enkulu.”

Udinga ukuqaphela ukuthi yini engasetshenziswa ngokumelene nawe esahlukaniso futhi ugweme izingibe ezinjalo. Kunezindlela ezehlukene okungafakazelwa ngazo ukumosha komshado - ukusebenzisa imali yomshado ebudlelwaneni obungaphandle komshado noma amabhizinisi, ukudlulisela imali komunye umuntu ngaphambi kwesehlukaniso, ukuzitika ngezinto ezingekho emthethweni noma ukuthengisa impahla ngenani eliphansi.

Ungakugwema kanjani: Kungcono ungazibandakanyi emisebenzini enjalo kodwa, uma uke wayenza, qiniseka ukuthi ummeli wakho uyazi ngakho ukuze abone ukuthi izimangalo zinamandla yini futhi athole indlela yokukuvikela kulobu bubi. Akuyona into oyifihlayo noma ungayisho kummeli wedivosi. Futhi, phatha izindleko zakho futhi uzigcine zincane kuze kuphothulwe isehlukaniso. Unezikweletu ezisemthethweni okufanele uzikhokhe. Izindleko ezinkulu zingalinda.

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2. Ungafihli noma uthuthe izimpahla, imali noma ezinye izimali

Lena enye yalezo zinto okudingeka uzengeze ohlwini lwakho 'lokungamelwe ukwenze ngesikhathi sesehlukaniso'. Ukufihlela owakwakho izimpahla noma ukukhipha imali kuma-akhawunti asebhange ahlanganyelwe ngaphambi kwesehlukaniso kuwumbono omubi futhi kuzofakazela ukuthi kuyingozi ecaleni lakho. Izophakamisa amafulegi afanayo abomvu njengehaba ukusetshenziswa kwemali yomshado noma amafa.

Maningi amaphepha athintekayo emshadweni – imali ebolekiwe yezindlu, intela, ama-akhawunti asebhange ahlanganyelwe, amakhadi okuthenga ngesikweletu, amaphepha ezakhiwo nokunye – konke lokhu kungasetshenziswa njengobufakazi obumelene nawe enkantolo, uma owakwakho ecabanga ukuthi ufihla noma ugodla impahla, imali noma ezinye izikhwama. Uma utholwa unecala, kuzolimaza ukwethembeka kwakho kanye necala lakho.

Ungakugwema kanjani: Ungakwenzi. Kulula. Asikho isidingo sokuzama ukwenza ngobuhlakani ngoba uzobanjwa ekugcineni. Kukhona amadokhumenti akho konke. “Yonke into, okuhlanganisa namakhadi akho esikweletu nolunye ulwazi lwezezimali, kuyalandeleka,” kusho uSiddhartha. Ukuhambisa noma ukufihla imali nempahla kuzokubhebhethekisa isimo.

3. Gwema ubudlelwano bothando kuze kube udivosa ngokusemthethweni

Uma uzibuza ukuthi yini engasetshenziswa ngokumelene nawe ngesehlukaniso, lena eyodwa. Ubudlelwano bezothando bungenye yezinto ezijwayeleke kakhulu ezingasetshenziswa njengobufakazi obumelene nawe ngesikhathi sesehlukaniso. Kuvamile ukuthi uqhubeke nomunye umuntu ngemva kokuhlukana nowakwakho kodwa ukwenza okufanayo ngaphambi kokuphothulwa kwesehlukaniso kungakudalela inkinga.

Ukuba nobudlelwano nomunye umuntu kuzolimaza ithuba lakho lesehlukaniso esisheshayo futhi kungase kuphazamise ekutholeni umphumela omuhle, ikakhulukazi uma unezingane. Noma ngabe umlingani wakho omusha abelana ngobudlelwano obuhle nenzalo yakho, isizinda sakhe sizocutshungulwa kakhulu futhi nemibuzo. Kungase kuthinte ithuba lakho lokuthola ilungelo lokunakekela ingane yakho noma lokuvakashela.

Kungase kukhulise izinkinga nomngane wakho womshado futhi kubenze bafinyelele esiphethweni sokuthi ufuna isehlukaniso ngenxa yokuqomisana ngaphandle komshado. Lokhu kuzokwenza kube nzima ukufinyelela esivumelwaneni sesehlukaniso, uthole ilungelo lokugcina ingane, yenza kube nzima ubuhlobo bakho bomzali oyedwa (uma kwenzeka unezingane), futhi kube nomthelela omubi esinqumweni sejaji.

Ungakugwema kanjani: Kutuswa ukulinda kuze kuphothulwe isehlukaniso. Yethula izingane zakho kumlingani wakho omusha ngemuva kwesehlukaniso. Cabanga ukuchitha isikhathi nomndeni, abangani kanye nabathandekayo esikhundleni salokho. Nokho, uma usothandweni, khuluma nommeli wakho mayelana nezinketho ezingcono kakhulu ezitholakalayo nokuthi ungazivikela kanjani ngesehlukaniso.

4. Thola iziyalezo zokuvinjelwa uma kwenzeka udlame

Lesi ngesinye sezeluleko ezibaluleke kakhulu zesehlukaniso kwabesifazane nabesilisa. NgokukaSiddhartha, “Ukuhlala endlini ephukile kungabangela ukungezwani okwengeziwe, ikakhulukazi uma umlingani wakho ehlukumeza noma uma ulwa njalo phambi kwezingane zakho.” Uma ufaka isehlukaniso ngenxa yodlame lwasekhaya nanoma yiluphi olunye uhlobo ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo, futhi unelungelo lokufaka isicelo sokuvinjelwa noma sokuvikela. Kungenzeka futhi ukuthi umlingani wakho abe nodlame noma abe nokuhlukumeza ngesikhathi kuqhubeka icala. Esimeni esinjalo, kubalulekile ukuthi wazi ukuthi ungazivikela kanjani ngesehlukaniso futhi ukufaka incwadi yesivimbelo kungenye yezindlela.

Okwaziwa nangokuthi umyalelo wokuvikela, umyalelo wokuvinjelwa uzokuvikela wena nezingane zakho nanoma yiliphi elinye ilungu lomndeni ekuhlukunyezweni ngokomzimba noma ngokocansi, ukuhlukunyezwa, ukuculwa noma ukusongelwa. Ozakwethu ngokuvamile bayesaba ukufaka incwadi yesivimbelo ngenxa yokwesaba imiphumela. Kodwa ukwenza kanjalo kuzosebenza njengobufakazi besimilo somngane wakho womshado futhi kuzosebenzela wena phakathi nokuqulwa kwamacala enkantolo.

Ungakugwema kanjani: Ungabubekezeleli udlame nanoma yiluphi uhlobo lokuhlukumeza nganoma iyiphi indlela. USiddhartha uyachaza, "Uma oshade naye enza udlame lwasekhaya kuwe noma ezinganeni zakho, shayela amaphoyisa ngaphandle kokulibala. Phikelela ukuthi iphoyisa livakashele ekhaya lakho. Faka umbiko bese uthintana nommeli wakho ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kungcono ukuthola esinye isimo sokuhlala ngokushesha."

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5. Ukuthumela ezinkundleni zokuxhumana

Ngenkathi wenza uhlu lwalokho okungafanele ukwenze ngesikhathi sesehlukaniso, beka lokhu phezulu. Uma ucabanga ukuthi yini engasetshenziswa kuwe ngesehlukaniso, okuthunyelwe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana kuhamba phambili ohlwini. Noma ngabe uthumele okuthile ku-impulse ngaphambili bese ususa okufanayo, kuzonamathela unomphela. Kungenzeka ukuyithola.

Uma umlingani wakho ethola nganoma yikuphi okuthunyelwe okunjalo okumbeka kabi, ummeli wakhe uzokusebenzisa ngokumelene nawe enkantolo. Kungenzeka ubungaqondile okubi kodwa okuthunyelwe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana kungasetshenziswa njengobufakazi obumelene nawe esahlukaniso. Kungenye yezindlela ezilula nezisebenziseka kakhulu zozakwethu ukulandela umkhondo noma ukusolana ngokuziphatha okungafanele.

Ungakugwema kanjani: Gwema ukuthumela ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ngaphambi nangesikhathi sesehlukaniso. Kungelinye lamathiphu abalulekile edivosi kwabesifazane nabesilisa. Kungcono ukwabelana ngezinkathazo zakho kanye nezinkinga zakho nabangane abambalwa osondelene nomndeni kodwa ukuthumela okufanayo ezinkundleni zokuxhumana akudingekile futhi akucebisi.

6. Qaphela imiyalezo nama-imeyili owathumelayo

Leli elinye iphuzu ongakwengeza ohlwini lwakho 'okungamelwe ukwenze ngesikhathi sesehlukaniso' kanye 'nokuthi yini engasetshenziswa ngokumelene nawe ohlwini lwedivosi'. Qaphela futhi unake amagama okhetha ukuwabhala emilayezweni nama-imeyili owathumela kumlingani wakho. Noma yini oyibhale phansi ingasetshenziswa futhi izosetshenziswa njengobufakazi obumelene nawe enkantolo.

Njengokuthunyelwe ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, imilayezo yombhalo nama-imeyili nakho kuyalandeleka futhi kulula ukukuthola noma ngabe ukususile. Ayikho ingxoxo noma ukuxhumana okuyimfihlo. Ayikho into ebizwa ukuxoxa okuyimfihlo. Izinkundla zokuxhumana, ama-imeyili, kanye nemiyalezo yombhalo kuya ngokuya kusetshenziswa njengobufakazi emacaleni edivosi kuphela kodwa nangenye indlela. Uzakwenu noma ummeli wakhe angathumela incwadi yokubizela enkantolo ecela izingodo zakho zezingcingo, imilayezo, nama-imeyili.

Ungakugwema kanjani: Khetha amagama akho ngokucophelela ngenkathi uthumela ama-imeyili nemiyalezo. Uma kungenasidingo noma esiphuthumayo, gwema ukukwenza ngokuphelele. Uma uzithola ubambekile esimweni esifanayo, yazisa ummeli wakho ngakho. Akuyona enye yalezo zinto ozifihlayo noma ongazisho kummeli wesahlukaniso. Ukuphumela obala kummeli wakho kungakusiza uthole ukuthi ungazivikela kanjani ngesehlukaniso.

7. Ungalokothi wenze ngenxa yentukuthelo noma intukuthelo

Lokhu, futhi, elinye lamathiphu edivosi abaluleke kakhulu kwabesifazane nabesilisa. Yini engasetshenziswa ngokumelene nawe ngesehlukaniso, uyazibuza? Izinto ezishiwo ngentukuthelo noma izenzo ezinenzondo ziyafaneleka. Ezimweni ezinjalo ezicindezelayo, imizwa ivame ukukhuphuka futhi ungase uzizwe unesifiso sokwenza okuthile ukuze ubuyele kumlingani wakho. Kodwa, kubaluleke kakhulu ukugcina imizwa yakho ilawula futhi lawula intukuthelo yakho ngenkathi udlula isehlukaniso.

Noma yini oyishoyo noma oyibhalayo uthukuthele ingasetshenziswa futhi izosetshenziswa njengobufakazi obumelene nawe. Ukuvumela ukuthukuthela kwakho kube ngcono kuwe kuzokulimaza kakhulu kunokulunga. Akulula kodwa uma wenza ungacabangi, isehlukaniso singase singavezi imiphumela oyifunayo. Gcina ukuzola kwakho futhi ugweme ukwenza izinqumo zokuxhamazela ukuze wenze inqubo ebushelelezi.

Ungakugwema kanjani: Alikho elinye ikhambi ngaphandle kokuthola indlela yokulawula intukuthelo yakho. USiddhartha uthi, "Gwema ukwenza izitatimende uthukuthele. Ungalokothi uthumele ama-imeyili uma uthukuthele noma ucasukile. Lezi zizobuya zizokuhlupha esahlukaniso. Khumbula ukuthi lokhu kuzoba isipiliyoni esinzima, kodwa uzobhekana nakho futhi uzozizwa unamandla kule nqubo."

8. Ungasayini lutho

Qiniseka ukuthi uyakwengeza lokhu ohlwini lwakho 'okungamelwe ukwenze ngesikhathi sesehlukaniso'. USiddhartha uyachaza, “Abantu ngokuvamile benza iphutha lokusayina amaphepha noma izivumelwano zokuqala, ezigcina ziholele ezimpini zempahla nezokugcina kunqunywe ngabo.” Uma ubhekene nesehlukaniso, funda wonke amadokhumenti ngaphambi kokuwasayina. Yiphathe ngummeli wakho ukuze uthole imvume.

Ungakugwema kanjani: "Ungakwenzi. Uma oshade naye efuna ukuthi usayine amaphepha, unganaki noma wenqabe, uthi ummeli wakho ukucele ukuthi ungasayini lutho ngaphandle kokuyiqhuba," kusho uSiddhartha. Uma usayine noma iyiphi idokhumenti ngaphandle kolwazi lommeli wakho, mazise. Lena akuyona into ongayisho kummeli wesahlukaniso.

Lawa amathiphu ambalwa edivosi abesilisa nabesifazane angakusiza uma ubambeke esimeni esifanayo. Isehlukaniso akulula neze. Kuningi okumele kwenziwe nokungamele kuhlangatshezwane nesehlukaniso sabo bobabili abathintekayo. Abameli ngokwabo bazokwethula uhlu lwalokho okufanele nokungafanele ukwenze ngesikhathi sesehlukaniso. Bazokutshela ukuthi yini engasetshenziswa kuwe ngesehlukaniso. Kungase kukukhathaze ngokomzwelo kodwa zama ukugxila ekuqhubekeleni phambili futhi uzenzele impilo engcono.

"Inqubo yedivosi, ngokwayo, ibuhlungu kakhulu kwabaningi. Thatha isikhathi sakho uhlele izinto ngokucophelela bese ufaka isehlukaniso uma usulungise izindaba zakho," kusho uSiddhartha. Cabanga ngakho ngaphambi kokwenza isinqumo. Qiniseka ukuthi ukhuluma nesehlukaniso ngendlela ezolile nenokuthula nangombono ophusile. Kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza kodwa iyona ndlela kuphela yokungakwenzi kube nzima kunalokho osekuyikho kakade. Uma ubambeke esimeni esifanayo futhi ufuna usizo, iphaneli ye-Bonobology yochwepheshe abanolwazi nabanelayisensi iwuhlelo kuphela. chofoza kude.

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