Indlela Yokwakha Kabusha Impilo Ngemva Kwesehlukaniso: Ukuphatha Izingane, Imali, Ukuqomisana, Nokuzithanda

Isehlukaniso siyisenzakalo esibuhlungu kakhulu empilweni yomuntu. Ukuthola umhlaba wakho uwela phezu kwakho kunzima ngokwanele. Ukuvuka emlotheni nokwakha kabusha impilo yakho kungabangela ukukhathala okukhulu. Ucwaningo oluthakazelisayo luye lwafakazela ukuthi ukuhlukana kudala ubuhlungu nokudabuka okufana nezimpawu zangempela zobuhlungu benhliziyo. Amathuba ayesabeka kangangokuthi ukubuyisela impilo yakho endleleni efanele ngemva kwesehlukaniso ngezinye izikhathi kungabonakala kuwumsebenzi onzima kakhulu.

Ukudlula isehlukaniso kunzima. Ukuvuselela ukuzethemba kwakho, ukuhlanganisa izikhwama zakho zesikhwama sakho ukuze ube nekusasa elivikelekile, ukufunda izintambo zokuba umzali oyedwa ngemva kwesehlukaniso, ukuphinde ube sengozini ngokomzwelo nabantu abasha, nokuphinde uthole ucansi - kuningi ongakufunda nokufunda lapha. Ukusinda kukho konke akuwona nje umbuzo wamandla, isibindi, nentando.

Ukuqala kabusha ngemva kwesehlukaniso kungaba uhambo olunzima, oludidayo, olubuhlungu, nolunesizungu. Kodwa akudingeki kube njalo. Ukusekelwa ngabangani bakho nomndeni wakho kufanele kusize, kanye nokubamba ngesandla okumnene kanye nesiqondiso esincane sochwepheshe njengalesi sihloko esingakunikeza. Ngokuqonda okuvela kusosayensi wengqondo olulekayo uMegha Gurnani , (M.Sc Clinical Psychology, UK), ogxile ekusizeni abantu ukubhekana nezinkinga zobudlelwano ezifana nokuhlukana, isehlukaniso, izingxabano zabazali, ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado kanye nokuvimbela ukuzibulala, ake sixoxe ngezinselele ongase ubhekane nazo njengamanje ekwakheni kabusha impilo yakho ngemva kwesehlukaniso nokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nazo.

Izinselele Zempilo Ngemva Kwesehlukaniso: Amadoda Vs Abesifazane

Abantu abaningi babhekana nokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo okufanayo ngemva kokuhlukana, ngokwehlukana, nesehlukaniso. Kodwa-ke, ubuhlobo bomshado besikhathi eside nezimali ezihlanganyelwe, impahla efanayo, kanye nomthwalo wemfanelo okwabelwana ngawo wezingane noma abanye abantu ababondliwayo kungase kungenise isethi entsha yezinselele okufanele kubhekwane nazo.

Ngokufanayo, bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane babhekana nobuhlungu benhliziyo, ukwenqatshwa emphakathini, ukwesaba, kanye nokungabikezeleki. Kodwa-ke, impilo ngemva kwesehlukaniso kowesifazane kanye nezinkinga ezibhekene nendoda ephukile ngemva kwesehlukaniso ngezinye izikhathi zingase zibe zehlukile komunye nomunye wabo.

Izifundo eziningi zihlaziye lezi zindaba zesehlukaniso ezisekelwe kubulili. Ukuqonda lezi zinguquko ezibalulekile kungakusiza ukuthi ubone izindawo ezibuhlungu ohambweni lwakho lokuphulukiswa futhi uzinake ngokukhethekile. Kungakusiza futhi ukuthi uhlakulele uzwelo ngowayengumlingani wakho, owadlula esehlukaniso esifanayo, okukuvumela ukuthi ulahle enye yaleyo ntukuthelo nentukuthelo okungenzeka ukuthi ubuyibambe. Lokhu ekugcineni kuzosiza imizamo yakho yokuqala kabusha ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Nansi umehluko omkhulu:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Isehlukaniso eneminyaka engu-50: Indlela Engayithola Ngayo Impilo Entsha Nenjabulo

Ukuzakha Kabusha Ngemva Kwesehlukaniso

Isehlukaniso sizothinta zonke izici zempilo yakho. UMegha uthi, “ Isehlukaniso siyinto enkulu ebuntwini bakho. Ingxenye enkulu yempilo yakho ayisekho. Kuvamile ukuzizwa ulahlekile ngokuphelele.” Ukulungisa ikhono lakho lokubhekana nokucindezeleka okusha ngokuqinisa uhlelo lwakho lokuphendula ngokomzwelo kufanele kube yinto yokuqala ohlelweni lwakho. Yingakho uhambo lokulungisa impilo yakho ngemva kwesehlukaniso kumele luqale ngokuphulukisa ukulimala ngokomzwelo okuzwile:

1. Zinike imvume yokuba lusizi

Usizi luwumzwelo ovamile futhi alungeni ebhokisini elinedethi yokuphelelwa yisikhathi. Akufanele futhi uphoqe umugqa wesikhathi ohlelweni lwakho lokulila. Usizi lwesehlukaniso luyinkimbinkimbi. Umuntu usaphila kodwa awukwazi ukuba naye empilweni yakho. Uma kunguwena oqale isehlukaniso, ungaba nemizwa exubile. Ungase ulindele ukuzizwa ujabule futhi ukhululekile. Kodwa ingqondo yakho ingase iphendule ngezindlela ezingalindelekile.

Noma ngabe yini oyizwayo, yazi ukuthi lokho okuzwayo kujwayelekile. Zinike imvume yokwenza eminye imisebenzi kancane kancane isikhathi esithile. Ngaphambi kokuthi ucabange nokuqhubekela phambili, zinike isikhathi sokudabuka ngendlela osidinga ngayo ukuze wenze ukuthula ngokuphela kwalobu budlelwano.

2. Ukuzicabangela, ikakhulukazi nomeluleki

Le ngxenye ibaluleke kakhulu ekululameni kwakho kangangokuthi ingqondo yakho izozama ukuzihambela yona yodwa kulesi sinyathelo. Uma uzithola ucabanga kakhulu ngesehlukaniso, uphindaphinda izehlakalo, uzisole, usole isithandwa sakho, yazi ukuthi ingqondo yakho izama ukuqonda ukuhlukumezeka okuzwayo. Umsebenzi wakho uwukunikeza lo msebenzi isimo esakhayo nesinempilo.

UMegha utusa kakhulu ukwelashwa. “ Izinzuzo zokwelapha zifaka phakathi ukufunda ngawe. Indlela yakho yokuziphatha, inqubo yakho yokucabanga, kanye nombono wakho wezwe. Mhlawumbe, kunezinto obungazenza ngendlela ehlukile ukunciphisa umthelela omubi ukube bekungasindisanga umshado.” Nakuba lokhu kuqonda kungenakukulungisa lokho odlule kukho, kungakusiza ukuthi ugweme amaphethini angempilo ebudlelwaneni besikhathi esizayo.

3. Thola ibhalansi - Ukubamba ngokumelene nokulahlekelwa ukulawula

UMegha uthi, “Ukuze uqhubekele phambili ngemva kwesehlukaniso , qaphela ukuthi uzizwa kanjani. Uma usukwazi ukuqonda imizwa yakho, ungathola ukuthi ukhungathekile noma ushukunyiswa okuthile. Ungazinika isikhathi sokuthula. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ungavumeli isehlukaniso sakho sibe yisizathu sokulahlekelwa ngokuphelele ukulawula impilo yakho.

Ungase uzizwe uqine kakhulu uzama ukuhlaziya yonke into futhi ukhiphe incazelo kuyo yonke into encane uze ulahlekelwe umbono wokuthi yini ebalulekile nokuthi yini ukusabela ngokweqile. Gwema leso sifiso.

4. Vuselela obunye ubudlelwano

"Kulezo zikhathi lapho uzizwa ulahlekile lapho udinga ukuxhumana okwengeziwe nenethiwekhi yakho yokwesekwa. Ngomsebenzi, abangani, izingane, nomndeni, uzokwazi ukugcina umuzwa wokuthi ungubani," kusho u-Megha. Yabelana ngendlela ozizwa ngayo nabangani bakho nomndeni wakho. Bafune ngenkuthalo.

Joyina iqembu lokusekela lapho ungaxoxa khona ngemizwa yakho nabanye abantu abasesikebheni esifanayo nesakho. Izinzuzo zayo ziningi. Ukuvula phambi kwabantu ongabazi ngokuphelele kungase kuzwakale kulula. Uzwela oluzwayo lungenza izimanga. Futhi, uyohlala uthola umuntu osesimeni esinzima ukwedlula wena. Lo mbono ungase ubaluleke ohambweni lwakho lokuphulukisa.

Ungacabanga ukuthola iqembu losekelo lendawo endaweni yangakini noma uhlole lezi zinketho eziku-inthanethi:

• CirclesUp – Iqembu eliholwa abelaphi
• Isehlukaniso Sabesifazane - Kwabesifazane abadivosile/abazodivosa maduze
• Isehlukaniso Samadoda - Ngokuqhubeka ngemuva kwesehlukaniso njengendoda
• Ukubuyiselwa Kwaphakathi Nempilo – Kwabadivosi abaneminyaka ephakathi
• SupportGroups – Kubazali abahlukanisile  

5. Xhumana kabusha nawe

Njengoba ninesikhathi eside nishadile, kungenzeka ukuthi ukuphila kwenu sekusondelene kakhulu. Imibhangqwana, njengoba iguga ndawonye, ​​iqala ukuzazi ngomqondo wokuthi “thina” noma “thina” kunobuntu babo, noma “mina”. Ukuhlukana kungase kubangele ukuhlukana okushaqisayo kulobo buwena.

UMegha uthi, “Udinga okuthile okuqinisa umqondo wokuthi ukhona, ukuthi uyaziswa njengomuntu. Leyo mizwa iyancipha kakhulu ngesikhathi sesehlukaniso kangangokuthi kunzima kakhulu ukusho ukuthi, “ Ngiyazithanda ”. Udinga ukusebenza kukho.”

Umsebenzi wakho manje ukuzithola futhi. Ngingubani mina? Yini engiyithandayo? Ngithanda kanjani ukuchitha isikhathi sami? Ngingathanda ukuthi ikusasa lami libe njani? Zibuze le mibuzo. Vakashela kabusha izinto zokuzilibazisa ezindala futhi uthole ezintsha. Thola incazelo emsebenzini wakho. Vikela indawo yakho. Thatha ubungozi, qhubeka nohambo. Thola ukuthi ungubani uma ushiywe wedwa ukuze uzinqumele.

Amathiphu Ngokubambisana Nomzali Ngemva Kwesehlukaniso

“Akusikho wena nomlingani wakho kuphela abadlule kulesi sehlukaniso kodwa nezingane zakho,” kusho uMegha. Izifundo eziningi zibonise imiphumela empilweni yengqondo yesikhathi eside yabantwana bomshado ohlukanisile. UMegha uyanezela, “Indlela osingatha ngayo sonke isimo, kanye nawe, izothinta indlela izingane zakho ezikubona ngayo wena nowakwakho kanye nobudlelwano bakho ngokujwayelekile.”

Ngaphezu kwalokho, njengabazali, sivame ukubeka ukubaluleka okukhulu kule ndima esiyidlalayo ekuphileni kwethu. Ukwaneliseka kokwenza okuhle ngezingane zakho, noma ukuba necala lokuphambene, kuthinta ngokuphawulekayo indlela esizibona ngayo thina nekhono lokuphila ukuphila okwanelisayo ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Njengabazali abavuthiwe, ungafuna ukuphatha umzali oyedwa ngemva kwesehlukaniso ngokuphumelelayo. Nawa amanye amathiphu okuba umzali oyedwa ngemuva kwesehlukaniso:

1. Ungalinge ukhulume kabi nge-ex yakho enganeni yakho

"Ungase ube nezinkinga nomlingani wakho. Njengomuntu omdala, ungaba nombono wakho ngomlingani wakho. Kodwa akulungile enganeni yakho uma udlulisela imibono yakho kuyo futhi ubenza bangathandi omunye umzali wabo," kusho uMegha. Lokhu kuziphatha kudala umuzwa wecala, ukudabuka, nokungazethembi enganeni yakho futhi ingaphezulu kohlu lokuziphatha okunobuthi komzali oyedwa okufanele ukugweme. Nazi ezinye izindlela zokugwema lokhu kuthambekela lapho udivosa nezingane:

• Ungaceli izingane zakho ukuthi zikhethe izinhlangothi
• Musa ukugqekeza phambi kwezingane zakho
• Ungawadeli kwabanye abazali ngenxa yezisusa zobugovu
• Ungasebenzisi izingane zakho ukuxhumana ne-ex yakho
• Ungaceli izingane zakho ukuthi zikuhlolele umzali wazo

Isixwayiso: Lezi ziphakamiso zingashintsha uma kwenzeka isehlukaniso ngenxa yokuhlukunyezwa kwengane. Kungcono ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kudokotela wengqondo wezingane noma kuchwepheshe wezokwelapha umndeni ukuze ube nalezi zingxoxo ezinzima nengane yakho.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ingabe Kufanele Uhlale Emshadweni Ongajabuli Nezingane?

2. Gxila kulokho okungcono kakhulu enganeni yakho

UMegha uthi: “Akudingeki ube indoda nomfazi ukuze ukhulise izingane. Njengabantu abadala abavuthiwe, kufanele nikwazi ukuba nomzali ngokuthula ngendlela yokubambisana nigxile enhlalakahleni yengane yenu. Ngokwesibonelo, ngezinye izikhathi ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi isinqumo esihlobene nengane yakho sizuzisa owayengunkosikazi wakho noma owayengumyeni wakho kodwa uzizwe ungafaneleki kuwe. Kodwa akumele ukhohlwe ukuthi ekugcineni kumayelana nengane yakho hhayi wena.

Izingxoxo zakho kufanele zigxile kulokho okulungele izingane zakho. Ungaba nokwehluka kwemibono ngezinqumo eziningi, njengokuthi ingane yakho izofunda kusiphi isikole, lapho kufanele ibe nomshini wokuxhumana, njll. Kodwa lokhu akufanele kuholele ekutheni ukhulume ngezinkinga zakho nophathina wakho noma uhileleke ekuhlaselweni komuntu siqu. 

3. Yiba nohlelo olucacile lokukhulisa izingane ndawonye

Uhlelo olucacile lokukhulisa izingane luyimfuneko yokuqala ngemva kwesehlukaniso nezingane. Izingane zizuza kakhulu ngokwenziwa njalo nangokubikezela, okuzinika umuzwa wokulondeka. Uma kwenzeka isehlukaniso noma ukwahlukana, ukuxhumana kuba nzima kakhulu. Ngaphandle kwalokho, izimpilo zezingane zisakazeka emindenini, yingakho uhlelo olucacile lokukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana luyimfuneko ukuze luzinike ukuvumelana. Lapho behlukanisa nezingane, bobabili abashade nabo bangaphambili kufanele baveze imithetho yokukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana ngokusekelwe ezingxoxweni ezilandelayo:

• Izikhathi zokuvakasha kanye nenqubo
• Imithetho emayelana nezinto ezifana nesikhathi sesikrini esivunyelwe, izikhathi zokufika ekhaya, ishejuli yomsebenzi wasekhaya, njll
• Isikhathi esicacile "sokukhuphuka nokukhanya" nesikhathi sokulala
• Imikhuba yokudla, isimiso sokudla

Lokhu akusho ukuthi awukwazi ukwenza amasiko ngabanye nezingane zakho, imfihlo yokudlala ezihlanganyela nawe. Kodwa ungumahluleli ongcono kakhulu uma umsebenzi wakha futhi ungenangozi, noma uma uxova inkambiso yawo ewumongo. Ungazami ukuncintisana nomlingani wakho ngendondo yomzali “ejabulisayo”. Ungakhohlwa, izingane ziyakhula, futhi zizokwazi ukubheka emuva futhi zihlulele ukuziphatha kwakho njengokungavuthiwe noma ukunganaki.

Ukuvikela Izimali Zakho Ngemva Kwesehlukaniso

Amaqiniso ezezimali ngesehlukaniso anzima! Akukhona nje kuphela ukuthi idivosi iyabiza, kodwa futhi kunezinselelo eziningana ekubuyiseleni ngokwezezimali ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Kuyabonakala ukuthi isehlukaniso cishe ngaso sonke isikhathi siphumela ekwehleni kwezinga lempilo yabo bobabili abalingani. Nawa amanye amathiphu wokuzilungiselela kangcono imiphumela yezezimali yesehlukaniso:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Konke Okufanele Ukwazi Ngobudlelwano Bezentengiselwano

1. Hlola izimali zakho

Isinyathelo sokuqala sokuhlelwa kwezimali kwesehlukaniso ukuthola isibuyekezo esisha nesinembile sezimali zakho. Ukubona izindlela zakho zezimali zincipha ngohhafu noma zehliswa ngisho nangaphezu kwalokho kungase kukuphazamise. Zilungiselele ngokomqondo. Ukuhlolwa okuphelele kwezimpahla zakho nezikweletu ngemuva kwesehlukaniso kungakutshela ukuthi ungazaba kanjani izimali zakho ngendlela efanele.

Ingabe ninesivumelwano sangaphambi komshado ? Zibukeka kanjani izimali zenu zomhlalaphansi? Kuthiwani ngomshuwalense wokuphila? Ingabe udinga ukubuyekeza izinqubomgomo zenu zomshuwalense wezempilo? Izinzuzo zokuphepha komphakathi? Uma nigcina indlu enanihlala kuyo njengombhangqwana, qiniseka ukuthi nilinganisa ngokunembile izindleko zayo zokunakekela. Uma iphakeme, kufanele ninciphise kuphi izindleko? Lena eminye yemibuzo ebalulekile okufanele uyicabangele ukuze nibhekane nezingqinamba zezimali ngendlela ephumelelayo ngangokunokwenzeka.

2. Dala isabelomali esisha sanyanga zonke

Umndeni omusha udinga isabelomali esisha. Uma imali engenayo yomndeni wakho yehlile futhi izindleko zikhuphuke ngokungalingani, kungadingeka unciphise izindleko ezindala ukuze ugweme ukucindezeleka ngokwezimali manje noma kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano besikhathi esizayo. Ukubuyekezwa kwakho kwezezimali kuzokuvumela ukuthi udale isabelomali esisha sanyanga zonke ngokwezinto eziza kuqala kuwe. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ungakhohlwa ukuvuselela ama-akhawunti akho asebhange ukuqinisekisa ukufinyelela okuqhubekayo ezimalini zakho.

3. Zibekele imigomo emisha yezezimali

Ubuwena obuyisisekelo obushintshile kanye nesimo sezimali esishintshile kusho ukuthi udinga isethi entsha yemigomo yezezimali. Zibuze:

• Ngizibona ngikuphi eminyakeni emihlanu, iminyaka eyishumi, iminyaka engamashumi amabili?
• Ngizibona ngikuphi lapho ngithatha umhlalaphansi?
• Ngizothanda nini ukuthatha umhlalaphansi?
• Ngizibona ngihlala kuphi?

Ngosizo lomeluleki wezezimali, ungaqhamuka nohlu lwezinto ozidingayo ukuze uzibekele imali. Nazi izibonelo ezimbalwa zemigomo yezezimali ongase ucabange ukuyilondolozela noma ukutshala kuyo:

• Isikhwama sezimo eziphuthumayo: Manje njengoba ungashadile futhi ikakhulukazi uma uneholo eliguquguqukayo, kufanele ube nesikhwama sezimo eziphuthumayo
• Ukonga komhlalaphansi: Kudingeka ubuyekeze futhi ubuyekeze izimali zesikhwama somhlalaphansi ezindala futhi ubone ukuthi uyazidinga yini ezintsha
• Isikhwama sobunikazi bezindlu: Unalo ikhaya? Ungathanda ukuba umnikazi wayo? Kufanele wenze kanjani ngokuyilondolozela?
• Isikhwama sezingane zasekolishi: Ingakanani kakade wena nowayekade niyigcinele ingane yakho? Ingabe unawo umnikelo oqinisekisiwe we-ex yakho? Uzodinga malini ukuze ungene?

Indlela Nail Ukuqomisana Ngemva Kwesehlukaniso

Ukuvula inhliziyo yakho ekutheni ungathola uthando futhi nokwenza isikhala empilweni yakho kuyizingxenye ezibalulekile zokuqhubekela phambili ngemuva kwesehlukaniso. Nokho, ukuqomisana ngemva kwesehlukaniso kowesilisa ngokuvamile kubhekwa njengenqubo enzima kakhulu kunowesifazane. Ukuqomisana ngemva kwesehlukaniso kowesifazane kuthintwa izici ezifana nezidingo zezingane, ukungavunyelwa komphakathi (okuchemile), umthwalo wezezimali, ukuguga okusekelwe ebulilini, njll.

Kodwa-ke, kungakhathaliseki ubulili, noma ubani osanda kuphuma ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside angase athole ukuqala kabusha nomlingani omusha kubuhlungu. Njengoba sinikezwe imibono "yomuntu othandana naye" kanye "nomuntu othandana naye" kusukela ebuntwaneni, akugcini nje ngokuzwakala njengomsebenzi onzima kodwa futhi akulungile. Ungase ucabange ukuthi usuvele uthole ithuba lakho nomuntu othandana naye, futhi yilokho kuphela, isikhathi sakho sesiphelile! Kodwa lokhu akunakuba kude neqiniso. Ungaluthola uthando futhi, kodwa kufanele ubhekane nale nqubo ngendlela efanele. Ukuze ufeze lokho, nanka amathiphu ambalwa okuthandana ngemva kwesehlukaniso okufanele uwakhumbule.

1. Ungavumeli ubudlelwano bakho besikhathi esidlule buthinte isikhathi sakho samanje

UMegha uthi, “Kubalulekile ukuthi ungavumeli isikhathi sakho esidlule siphazamise isikhathi sakho samanje . Futhi lokhu kuzwakala kulula uma ubheka phezulu kodwa kunzima kakhulu ukukwenza ngoba usuchithe isikhathi esiningi nowakwakho. Kumelwe ukuthi usuyitholile indlela yakhe yokuziphatha, izinto abalindele, izinto abazithandayo nabangazithandi, futhi usujwayele isimo sobuhlobo bakho bangaphambilini. Kungaba nzima kakhulu ukungavumeli lokho kucwasa nemibono kukuthinte lapho uhlangana nomuntu omusha,” enezela.

Uma uvumela okwedlule kuthinte isikhathi sakho samanje, ngeke unikeze ubudlelwano bakho obusha ithuba elifanelekile. Yingakho ngaphambi kokungena endaweni entsha, kubalulekile ukulungisa ubudlelwano bakho nawe. Buyela emuva engxenyeni yokuqala yalesi sihloko mayelana nokuzithanda nokukhula komuntu siqu ukuze uthole izindlela zokukwenza.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukwesaba Ubudlelwano Ngemva Kwesehlukaniso. Bhekana Nalezi Zinto Eziyishumi Zokwesaba Kuqala

2. Ungagxeki

Ungase uqaphele ukuthi usuqaphele kakhulu futhi usuyashesha uma kukhulunywa ngokuthatha izingozi nokuzama ukuthola uthando futhi . Ukwesaba kwakho nokwesaba kungabonakala emicabangweni efana nale:

• “Nganginobudlelwano obungaphumeleli nomshado. Lokhu ngeke kuphumelele”
• “Kunzima ukuba phakathi kwabo. Kungani umuntu ethanda inkampani yami?”
• "Kunzima ukukujabulisa"
• "Ngidlala kanzima ukuze ngithole. Ubani ongafuna ukwenza umzamo wokunginqoba"

“Ungakwenzi kube nzima ngabantu ukukuzwisa ubuhlungu,” kusho uMegha. Kumelwe umelane nesifiso sokwenza ukuthandana ngemva kwesehlukaniso kube nzima ngamabomu kuwe. Qaphela ukuziphatha okulimazayo bese ukudedela.

3. Ungafisi ngokweqile ukugxuma ubuyele esigcawini sokuqomisana

Lesi isiphetho esiphambene nokweqisa esisanda kuxoxa ngakho. Yize kungafanele ubavimbele abantu kude, kufanele futhi uqiniseke ukuthi awenzi noma yikuphi umnyakazo onzima. Ukulangazelela ngokweqile kungase kubukeke kanje:

• Uyashesha ukubeka abantu ezicathulweni
• Ucabanga ukuthi bangumuntu ofanele wena ngokushesha ngemva kokuhlangana nabo
• Uyakuziba amafulegi abomvu ebudlelwaneni obusha
• Awunaki intuition yakho
• Unobudlelwane obuningana besikhathi esifushane obuphindisela emuva ngemva kwesehlukaniso
• Ungena ebudlelwaneni bokulungisa isizungu ngemuva kwesehlukaniso

UMegha uthi, "Indlela izinto okungenzeka ukuthi ziphelile ngayo noma ubuntu bakho obuyiyo, ungase ucasulwe ngokuphelele ubudlelwano noma ungase ulindele ukungena kolandelayo. Futhi zombili lezi zimo azisizi, kokubili esikhathini esifushane nangesikhathi eside." Kulungile ukuhlala kude, uthathe isikhathi sokuphulukisa ngaphakathi, futhi uvumele uthando lwenzeke ngokwemvelo kuwe.

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4. Yenza ucansi ngemuva kwesehlukaniso lungabi lula ngokuqaphela

Ucansi ngemva kwesehlukaniso lungaba lula kunawo wonke noma lube nzima kakhulu, kuye ngokuthi ubhekana kanjani nalo. Uma uke waba sebudlelwaneni bezocansi isikhathi eside nomuntu, ujwayela isigqi sekhemistri yakho naye. Ukusondelana nozakwethu omusha kusho ukukuyeka konke lokho futhi uvule umzimba nengqondo yakho ezintweni ezintsha. Lokho kudinga ukucabangela nokuzwela.

U-Megha uveza izimo ezimbalwa ezingemnandi ezingase zivele esimweni sobuhlobo obusha. Ziqaphele uma usondelene nomuntu:

• Umqondo wakho uzulazula ku-ex yakho: Lokhu kujwayelekile kakhulu. Ungafundi kakhulu kukho. Phuma kukho, futhi uzibuyise ngokuqaphela
• Uqhathanisa umlingani wakho omusha nowawushade naye: Nalokhu kujwayelekile. Nokho, umlingani wakho omusha ufanelwe ithuba elifanelekile. Bheka umlingani wakho emehlweni, khuluma naye futhi uzame ukuba sesikhathini samanje
• Ulisho ngokuzwakalayo igama le-ex yakho: Xolisa kumlingani wakho omusha uma ekubona. Batshele ukuthi kungaphezu komkhuba futhi qaphela kakhulu ukuthi ungakwenzi futhi

5. Zama izinto ezintsha

Mhlawumbe wena nomlingani wakho nenze izinto ngendlela ethile futhi umuntu ophola naye usenendlela ehluke ngokuphelele. Ungase ugxile kakhulu ezindleleni zakho zakudala. Kodwa sekuyisikhathi soshintsho. Kufanele uvumele abantu abahlukene nezinto ezehlukene ukuthi bangene. U-Megha uthi, "Ungahambi nomcabango wokuthi ucansi luzofana nawo wonke umuntu. Vuleleka ukushintsha." Nazi ezinye izinto okufanele uzikhumbule:

• Vulekele okulindelekile kwezocansi komlingani wakho omusha
• Vuleleka ukubalalela noma uzame izinto ezintsha uma uzizwa ukhululekile kuwe
• Uma ingaphatheki kahle, ungakwazi futhi kufanele uthi cha

Uma wakha kabusha impilo yakho ngemva kwesehlukaniso, ungacabanga ngokufuna amaqembu okusekela isehlukaniso kanye nezinye izinsiza ezifanayo endaweni yakini noma ku-inthanethi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ungase uzizwe udinga ukubonisana nochwepheshe abahlukahlukene ukuze ubhekane nezici ezahlukene zokuphila ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Uma udinga lolo sizo, iphaneli yochwepheshe beBonobology ilapha ukuzokusiza.

Lesi sihloko sabuyekezwa ngoNovemba 2022.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Imicabango Final

Isehlukaniso siwushintsho empilweni, hhayi ukwehluleka. Yisikhathi sokwakha kabusha, ukusungula kabusha, nokubuyisa injabulo yakho. Ufanelwe ukuthula, uthando, kanye nekusasa eligculisayo—isinyathelo ngasinye. Izinsizakalo zethu zokweluleka zinikeza indawo ephephile yokuphulukisa, yokukhula, nokwakha kabusha impilo yakho ngokuzethemba.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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