Ukusinda Esehlukaniso Ku-50: Ungayakha Kanjani Impilo Yakho

Ubuwazi ukuthi amazinga ezehlukaniso zabantu abaneminyaka engaphezu kwengu-50 aphindwe kabili kusukela ngawo-1990, futhi aphindwe kathathu kubantu abaneminyaka engu-60 nangaphezulu? Nokho, umbiko we-Pew Research Centre usho lokho kanye. Ngakho-ke kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzizwa ucindezeleke kangakanani ngethemba lokuqeda umshado weminyaka noma amashumi eminyaka, yazi ukuthi awuwedwa. Isehlukaniso eneminyaka engu-50 siya ngokuya sivame futhi imibhangqwana eminingi edumile eye yaqeda imishado yayo ngemva kweminyaka yokuba ndawonye iyibufakazi balokhu.

UBill noMelinda Gates basusa umsindo lapho bememezela ngokwehlukana kwabo ngoMeyi 2021. Isehlukaniso ngemva kweminyaka engu-25 beshadile! Esitatimendeni se-Twitter, bathe, "Siyaqhubeka nokukholelwa kulowo msebenzi futhi sizoqhubeka nomsebenzi wethu ndawonye esisekelweni, kodwa asisakholwa ukuthi singakhula ndawonye njengombhangqwana kulesi sigaba esilandelayo sempilo yethu." Ngisho nokubuka kancane isitatimende kungase kukudonsele kungxenye "yesigaba esilandelayo sezimpilo zethu".

Iqiniso! Ngokukhula kobude besikhathi sokuphila, kunesigaba sonke sokuphila kwakho okufanele usibheke ngabomvu ngaphezu kweminyaka engama-50. Phakathi kwezinye izizathu, lokhu ngokuyinhloko yingakho isehlukaniso sesiphenduke indlela ephumelelayo kubantu abangajabule emshadweni, kungakhathaliseki ubudala babo nobude bomshado wabo. Kodwa-ke, iminyaka iyawenza isehlukaniso kwabakwa-quinquagenarian futhi ngaphezu kohlobo oluhlukile lwenselelo. Ake sihlole ukuthi ungasinda kanjani isehlukaniso ngemuva kweminyaka engama-50 ukuze sikusize ubhekane nakho ngendlela enempilo.

Izizathu Zesehlukaniso Esimpunga

I-Gray Divorce noma i-Silver Splitters manje isiyingxenye yenkulumo evamile lapho kukhulunywa ngesehlukaniso sabantu abangaphezu kweminyaka engu-50, uma sikhuluma ngokujulile. Ukuthi kunezinye izindlela zokuchaza lesi simo kubonisa ukwanda kwaso kanye nokuncipha kokucwaswa komphakathi okuzungeze isehlukaniso samadoda nabesifazane abavuthiwe.

ULisa, usokhaya, nowayenguthisha, 58, bahlukana nomyeni wakhe, uRaj, usomabhizinisi, 61, kamuva kakhulu ekuphileni, ngemva kokuba bobabili izingane zabo sezishadile futhi zihlala nemindeni yazo. Uthi, “Kwakungeyona imfihlo ejulile nemnyama u-Raj ayengifihlele yona noma ngisho nokujola komuntu ngaphandle komshado.

“Lapho izingane zami zisencane, kwakunengqondo ukukubekezelela konke lokhu. Kodwa njengengane engenalutho, ngazibuza ukuthi kungani kufanele ngiqhubeke ngibekezelela. Ngaphandle kwalokho, sasingenazo izithakazelo ezifanayo. Ngisho noma ngangingakaze ngithole omunye umuntu engangingahlanganyela naye ukuphila kwami, okungenani ngangingakujabulela ngaphandle kokuhlale ngikhazimula nokuphazanyiswa othile.”

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Eziphezulu Zomyeni Onobugovu Futhi Kungani Enjalo?

Abantu abangaphezu kweminyaka engama-50 bangase badivose ngezizathu ezihlukahlukene. NjengoLisa, isehlukaniso seminyaka ephakathi nendawo ngokuvamile siwumphumela wokulahlekelwa uthando. Ukunganeliseki emshadweni noma ukungezwani, noma ubambiswano olusezingeni eliphansi oluthinta impilo yomuntu engokwengqondo nempilo yomzimba wonke kungakhathaliseki ukuthi hlobo luni lobudlelwano - ubulili obufanayo/obuphambene - ubudala, isizinda sohlanga, noma isifunda. Kodwa kungase kube nezici ezihlukahlukene ezithinta ukwanda kwezehlukaniso emishadweni emidala. Ezinye zazo yilezi:

• I-Empty Nest Syndrome: Uma ingcina yokunamathisela ehlanganisa umbhangqwana iwumthwalo wemfanelo ofanayo wokukhulisa izingane, lapho zingasekho, umbhangqwana ungase ukuthole kunzima ukuthola ihange elithembekile lokuzibophela emshadweni.
• Ubude bempilo ende: Abantu baphila isikhathi eside. Banethemba elikhulu leminyaka esele yokuphila, ngokuvamile bakubheka njengesigaba esisha kunokuba kube indaba ebuhlungu yokulinda ukuphela.
• Impilo engcono nokuhamba: Akukhona nje ukuthi abantu baphila isikhathi eside, baphila impilo enempilo, ekhuthele futhi yobusha. Ithemba ngekusasa lenza abantu bafune ukuphila izimpilo ezijabulisayo, balandele izigigaba, baphishekele izinto abazithandayo, bebodwa noma nomlingani omusha
• Ukuzimela ngokwezezimali kwabesifazane: Baningi abesifazane abazimele ngokwezimali kunakuqala. Bangase "bangabe besamdingi" uzakwethu ukuze bazinze ngokwezimali, benze ubudlelwano obubi noma obungagculisi bulahlekiseke.
• Izincazelo ezintsha zomshado: Kube noguquko ekuguquguqukeni komshado. Abantu abaningi bangase bahlangane ndawonye emshadweni ongcwele ngenxa yezizathu ezigxile othandweni uma kuqhathaniswa nezizathu ezingokoqobo noma zendabuko ezisekelwe ekuqhubekeleni phambili kwezinzalamizi kwesakhiwo somndeni. Ngakho-ke, ukulahlekelwa uthando nokusondelana, ngokwemvelo kuba yisici esinqumayo ngokuya ngesehlukaniso
• Ukwehliswa ukucwaswa komphakathi: Sekulula nje ukuthola ukwesekwa okwengeziwe ngesinqumo sakho sokuqeda umshado kunangaphambili. Umphakathi uwuqonda kangcono. Amaqembu asekelayo angaxhunyiwe ku-inthanethi kanye nawe-inthanethi edivosi awubufakazi

Isehlukaniso Ngemva Kwama-50 - 3 Iphutha Okufanele Ugweme

Ukuhlakazwa komshado kungase kube nzima kunoma yisiphi isigaba sokuphila kodwa nakakhulu uma uthola isehlukaniso usuneminyaka engu-50 noma ngaphezulu. Ubungane, ukulondeka, nokuzinza yizinto abantu abazifisa kakhulu lapho beya ekushoneni kwelanga lokuphila. Ngakho-ke, lapho impilo ikujikijela i-curveball kuleso sigaba, ukuqala phansi akukhona ukuhamba epaki. Yebo, ngisho noma kuwuwena ofuna ukuphuma.
Uma ufuna isehlukaniso esingaphezu kweminyaka engama-50, nanka amaphutha ama-3 okufanele uwagweme:

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ingabe Kufanele Uhlukanise? - Thatha Lolu Hlelo Lokuhlola Isehlukaniso

1. Ungavumeli imizwa ikulawule

Noma ngabe uwena ofuna ukuqhubekela phambili noma isinqumo siphushelwe kuwena, ukudivosa kulesi sigaba sempilo kungakushiya ugajwe yimizwa. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuzwakala kanjani ukukhokhiswa intela leli qiniso, ungavumeli imizwa yakho ikulawule futhi ifiphaze ukwahlulela kwakho. Isifiso sokuyiqeda ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka siyaqondakala.

Kodwa-ke, uma ulahlekelwa umbono wesithombe esikhulu noma izingqinamba zesikhathi eside, ubeka engcupheni yokufaka ikusasa elivikelekile engozini. Kubalulekile ukungabheki isehlukaniso sakho njengempi okudingeka uyinqobe. Ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi zonke izisekelo zakho zimboziwe, kufanele ubeke eceleni imizwa egcwele bese uyibheka njengesivumelwano sebhizinisi esibaliwe. Ngisho noma isehlukaniso singesivumelwano, kufanele ubheke ikusasa lakho.

2. Ukungaxoxisani ngobuhlakani kungaba yiphutha

Ukuhlukana nokwehluleka uneminyaka engu-50 kungaba yinhlanganisela embi kakhulu. Ngale minyaka, cishe uzobe uzinzile ngokwezimali futhi uphila impilo entofontofo, ngenxa yeminyaka yokusebenza kanzima, ukuhlela kahle ezezimali, kanye nokonga. Ngokungaxoxisani ngokuhlakanipha, usengozini yokulahlekelwa yikho konke ngokuphazima kweso. Phela, ukwehla kwezezimali kungenye yemiphumela enganakwa kakhulu yesehlukaniso.

Awufuni ukubheka ukuqala umsebenzi omusha ngesikhathi lapho uzobe uhlela ukuthatha umhlalaphansi. Ngaphandle kwalokho, izici ezifana nezimo zezokwelapha kanye nokuthanda iminyaka kungaphazamisa ikhono lakho lokuzakhela impilo kusukela ekuqaleni. Ngakho-ke, qiniseka ukuthi uxoxisana ngobuhlakani, ngosizo lomeluleki wezomthetho womndeni, ukuze uthole ukwahlukaniswa okufanelekile kwama-akhawunti omhlalaphansi, izinzuzo zokuphepha komphakathi, nezimpahla kanye nokuvikela isondlo, uma kusebenza.

Ukufunda okuhlobene: Isehlukaniso Simayelana Nokuhlukana Nokuqhubeka

3. Ukulahlekelwa ukulawula

Wonke amadokhumenti kanye ne-jargon yezomthetho kungaba nzima ukuzulazula nokwenza umqondo wakho. Ngisho nangokwengeziwe, lapho ungekho esimweni esingcono kakhulu somzwelo. Nakuba ummeli wakho wezomthetho noma ummeli wakho wesahlukaniso ezoba khona ukuze akuqondise kuzo zonke izinyathelo zakho, akufanele ulahlekelwe ukulawula inqubo.

Ungatsheli ummeli wakho ukuthi aphathe konke akutshele ukuthi wenzeni. Yenza ucwaningo lwakho, khuluma nabantu, thola izeluleko emithonjeni ehlukene ethembekile bese udweba uhlu lokuhlola ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi uyazi kahle ukuthi uzobhekana nani ngesikhathi senqubo yesehlukaniso. Vumela ummeli wakho abe uchwepheshe oqondisa isinqumo sakho hhayi lowo oqondisa. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqinisekisa ukuthi uzinzile ngokwezimali futhi uvikelekile ngangokunokwenzeka ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Nazi izinto ezimbalwa okufanele uzikhumbule ukuze unakekele izimali esehlukaniso ngemva kweminyaka engu-50:

• Qiniseka ukuthi unohlu lwezimpahla zakho nezikweletu njengombhangqwana. Ungakhohlwa izikweletu zekhadi lesikweletu elihlanganyelwe. Landela umkhondo wakho wokulondoloza umhlalaphansi, izinzuzo zokuphepha komphakathi, nezinqubomgomo zomshwalense wempilo
• Cabanga ngendlu. Ingabe uyayigcina? Uma kunjalo, ingabe uzokwazi ngokwezimali ukuyigcina ngeholo lomuntu oyedwa. Ingabe akhona ama-mortgages nezinye izindleko ezihambisanayo?
• Lesi yisikhumbuzo. Imithetho yendawo yomphakathi ezifundazweni eziyisishiyagalolunye zase-US yenza umlingani oyedwa womshado abe ngumlingani kuzo zonke izikweletu zomunye umlingani womshado, owaziwayo noma ongaziwa. Xhumana nommeli wezomthetho womndeni ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi uyazi ukuthi uyingxenye yakho
• Hlola isigatshana kumshwalense wakho wezempilo, ikakhulukazi uma ubuwabelana nowakwakho kuze kube manje. Ume kuphi?

Indlela Yokwakha Kabusha Impilo Ngemva Kwesehlukaniso Eminyakeni engama-50

Uma isiphepho sezinqubo zomthetho sesidlulile, ungase uthole ukuthi isehlukaniso esisindayo ngemva kweminyaka engu-50 sinzima kakhulu kunalokho obukucabanga. Uma nje usibheka njengethuba lokuphinda ubuye, ungabuyisa impilo yakho futhi uyiqondise kunoma iyiphi indlela engenzeka. Kusukela ekwamukeleni inkululeko entsha etholakala emshadweni omude, ocindezelayo kuya ekubuyeleni endaweni yokuthandana futhi , umhlaba uyisitha sakho. Nansi indlela ongaziqoqa ngayo izingcezu uphinde wakhe kabusha impilo yakho ngezitini ngezitini:

1. Zivumele ukuba udabuke

Ukushiya umyeni wakho eminyakeni engu-50 akulula. Futhi ukushiya umkakho oseminyakeni yawo-50 kuyinto yansuku zonke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isehlukaniso esivamile kangakanani. Ubone okuningi futhi uyikhukhi elinzima, siyakuthola! Kodwa asikho isidingo sokuzikhandla. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi nguwe owabanjwa ngokumangala ngesehlukaniso noma owayisungula, uvunyelwe ukuzwa yonke into oyizwayo.

Ukujwayela impilo njengoba wazi, impilo yeminyaka engama-20, engama-30, noma ngaphezulu, kuba nzima kakhulu ukuthi ungaphuma kukho. Qaphela imizwa oyizwayo. Ukwesaba, ukukhungatheka, ukukhaphela, intukuthelo, ukukhathala, noma enye into. Zibuze, "Ngidivosile futhi ngedwa ngineminyaka engu-50. Akulula. Ngizizwa kanjani?" Ukuphika kuwukungahloniphi okukhulu ongakwenza kuwena. Ukubona imizwa yakho kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuyilawula. Yimpi ewiniwe uhhafu!

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Zesexwayiso Zokuthi Umlingani Wakho Ulahlekelwa Yisithakazelo Ebuhlotsheni

2 . Vumela ukubaba kuncibilike

Uma ufuna ukufunda ukuthi ungaqala kanjani kabusha ngemva kwesehlukaniso uneminyaka engaphezu kuka-50, kufanele uqale ngokuvumela inzondo nokusola kudlule . Uma ugcwele ulaka, ungase ukuthole kunzima ukugxila ekwakheni kabusha impilo yakho ngemva kwesehlukaniso. Ungazama okulandelayo ukulawula imicabango emibi:

• Prakthiza ukwenza ijenali ukuze ubhale phansi imicabango yakho
• Prakthiza ukufakwa kuhlu kokubonga. Ucwaningo ubonise ukubonga kuthinta kahle inhlalakahle engokwengqondo
• Prakthiza iziqinisekiso zansuku zonke. Uma unokholo kungokomoya lenkathi entsha, thola induduzo ekusebenzeni kokubonakaliswa kanye Nomthetho Wokuheha
• sondela kubangani obathembayo noma amalungu omndeni futhi wabelane ngemizwa yakho nabo
• Funa usizo oluvela kumeluleki wezempilo yengqondo noma umelaphi ukuze uthole ukukhululwa okuqondisiwe nokugadwayo kwemizwa engemihle

3. Buyekeza incazelo yakho yobudlelwano

Kumelwe ushintshe izibuko zakho zokubuka uma ucabanga ngomshado wakho odlule njengesehluleki. Kunomkhuba wokubona isehlukaniso, ukuhlukana, noma ukwehlukana njengesehluleki. Lo mcabango wenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuyeka ukumelana nokwamukela isigaba esisha esikulindile.

Akukho okuphakade. Kufanele ukhumbule, ngandlela thize noma enye, yonke into ifika esiphethweni. Ukuthi iphelile akusho ukuthi ibingaphelele. Bheka isehlukaniso sakho njengesiyingqopha-mlando. Isiphetho esanelisayo sesigaba esibalulekile empilweni yakho kanye nesiqalo esisha.

4. Zithole kabusha

Ukuqeda umshado othathe amashumi eminyaka kungaletha ukudideka nokudideka. Ijubane nendlela yokuphila, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iyanelisa noma cha, iyajwayelana futhi ikhululeke. Ukuze ubhekane nalokho kudideka, kuzodingeka uzijwayeze kabusha "nawe". Ngeke nje udinge ukuthembela kuwe kusukela manje kuqhubeke kodwa uzochitha isikhathi esiningi nawe. Qiniseka ukuthi wakha kabusha ubuhlobo bakho nawe ngaphambi kokukhathazeka ngokuthi ungakha kanjani kabusha impilo ngemva kwesehlukaniso uneminyaka engu-50. Zama izindlela ezilandelayo zokuzithanda :

• Thatha iholidi
• Vakashela kabusha i-hobby endala
• Zijwayeze kabusha ngokudla okuthandile. Abantu abaphethe ukupheka ekhaya bavame ukukushaya indiva ukunambitheka kwabo siqu nokukhetha kwabo ekudleni
• Zama ukuhlanganisa ikhabethe lakho lezingubo, noma upende kabusha ikhaya lakho
• Bona ukuthi ungathanda yini ukuhlangana nabantu abasha

5. Zilungiselele ukuqomisana eminyakeni engu-50 ngemva kwesehlukaniso

Ukukhuluma ngokuhlangana nabantu abasha, ekugcineni uzofuna ukuthandana nabanye abantu kamuva ekuphileni. Kungenzeka ukuthi awukho kuleso sigaba njengamanje, futhi ucabanga ukuthi awusoze. Lokho kuyinto evamile ngokuphelele. Kuyaqondakala ngokuphelele ukuthi ungafuni ukubhekana nobunzima obufanayo futhi ngemva kokuchitha isikhathi eside nomuntu oyedwa.

Kodwa noma ngabe ubungafuni ukuxhumana nabantu abathandanayo, ungase ube nekhono lokucabanga lokwakha ubungane obusha. Ubungane bungaba usizo nakakhulu kamuva empilweni. Izifundo zikhombisile ukuthi njengoba abantu bekhula, baqala ukuthola inzuzo enkulu emisebenzini nabangani uma kuqhathaniswa namalungu omndeni. Uma uthandana nomuntu oneminyaka engu-50 ngemuva kwesehlukaniso, qaphela izinto ezimbalwa:

• Qaphela ubudlelwano obubuyela emuva: Phula ngaphambi kokufuna ubungane. Ungazami ukugcwalisa isikhala
• Gwema ukuqhathanisa nozakwenu wakudala: Ungasondeli kubantu nge-lens efanayo edilizwe izinto zakho zangaphambilini. Lokhu makube yisiqalo esisha
• Zama izinto ezintsha: Isimo sokuqomisana ngabe sesishintshile ngesikhathi uthola elinye ithuba kuso. Ungesabi ukuhlola izindawo ezintsha zokuthandana. Ziningi ongakhetha kuzo uma ubheka ezindaweni ezifanele. Funa i abavuthiwe ukuphola izinhlelo zokusebenza namasayithi njenge-SilverSingles, i-eHarmony ne-Higher Bond

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Isibuyekezo seSilverSingles (2022) – Okudingeka Ukwazi

6. Gxila kuwena

Ukusinda esahlukaniso ku-50+ ngendlela enempilo kungenzeka kuphela uma ufunge ukuthi uzogcina impilo yakho nenjabulo yakho igxile. Ungakwazi ukujabulela isigaba sakho esilandelayo uma ukulungele ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo ukuzinakekela. Bheka isehlukaniso sakho njengesisusa esingcono kakhulu sokulungisa izindaba zakho. Nazi ezinye izinto ongazenza ukuze unakekele impilo yakho ngemva kwesehlukaniso post 50:

• Yakha futhi ulandele isimiso sokuzivocavoca. Vakashela izindawo zokuzivocavoca zendawo kanye nezikhungo zokuzivocavoca. Ungakhohlwa ukuya kwabanye abavocavoci noma izisebenzi zokuqeqesha. Abagcini nje ngokuhlinzeka ngenkampani enhle, futhi baqinisekisa ukuthi ulandela isu elifanele. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu njengoba umzimba uguga
• Zama ezinye izindlela zokunyakaza, njengokubhukuda, iqembu lamasonto onke lokuhamba edolobheni, ukudansa njll. Kungase futhi kukusize ukuthuthukisa umphakathi.
• Naka ukudla kwakho. Vakashela udokotela wakho futhi uzihlole ngokugcwele. Xhumana nochwepheshe wezokudla ukuze uqhamuke nohlelo lokudla oluhambisana nezidingo zomzimba wakho
• Cabangela ukufuna ukwesekwa emaqenjini osekelo aku-inthanethi ukuze uthole isehlukaniso noma angaxhunyiwe ku-inthanethi endaweni yakini. Ngedivosi yakho, shiya umfazi ongajabule/i-mirable husband syndrome umaka ngemuva

Siyaqonda ukuthi impilo ngemva kwesehlukaniso kwendoda engaphezu kweminyaka engu-50 ingaba yinselele njengoba nje kungaba uvivinyo kowesifazane ohlukanisile eneminyaka engu-50. Uma ukusingatha isehlukaniso sakho esimpunga sekuba nzima kakhulu kuwe, cabanga ngokufuna usizo kumeluleki wokuhlukanisa nesehlukaniso. Uma udinga, iphaneli yochwepheshe beBononology ilapha ukuzokusiza.

Le ndatshana ibuyekezwe ngoNovemba 2022.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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