Tinihanga-iti: Te Tikanga, Ngā Tauira, Ngā Tohu, Me Ngā Huarahi Hei Mahi

Ko te tinihanga iti, pērā i ngā ngira ririki e wero ana i tō ngākau, ka pā mai te mamae me te taumahatanga i roto i te whanaungatanga. He ara pahekeheke e uru ana ki ngā mahi huna pērā i te whakakini ki tētahi tauhou, te takaro ki ngā hoa o mua, te huna rānei i te waea pūkoro i te tēpu kai me te kore take (āe, tera pea he take). Ka taea e ēnei whanonga āhua kino te piki haere, ka arahi ki ngā tautohetohe whanaungatanga, ā, i ētahi wā, ka mutu te whanaungatanga.

Nō reira, he mea nui kia mōhio ki ngā tohu tōmua o te tinihanga iti, me pēhea te whakatau i aua tohu. Tērā pea ka tīmata noa i roto i tētahi kōrero ipurangi, engari ki te kore e tirotirohia, ka huri hei mahi moepuku. He rerekē ki te tinihanga tuku iho, arā, te moe tahi a te tāne me tētahi atu wahine, he uaua ake te kite i tēnei momo tinihanga kare ā-roto, ā, he uaua ake mō te hunga e whai wāhi ana.

He aha te tinihanga iti i roto i te whanaungatanga?

He aha te tinihanga iti i roto i te whanaungatanga? rangahau e kī ana te Whare Wānanga o Baguio, "Ko te tinihanga iti e whakaahuatia ana he whanonga iti noa iho, he mahi iti noa iho rānei o te tinihanga. Kei roto hoki i tēnei ko te whakamahi i te hangarau, i te ipurangi rānei, inā koa ko ngā pāpāho pāpori pēnei i a Pukamata, Instagram, me ngā taupānga whakaipoipo ipurangi (hei tauira, Bumble me Tinder). E whakaatu ana hoki te hua ko te tinihanga iti he tohu whakatūpato ka taea e ēnei whanonga iti te arahi ki te tinihanga tino nui. Heoi anō, ka kitea te tinihanga iti hei whiti i ngā rohe o te whakahoahoa, he hiahia huna, he hiahia huna rānei, me te whakamahi i te hangarau hei reo … (Ngā) kairangahau i taea te whakaatu motuhake i tētahi whakaahuatanga o te tinihanga iti, arā, ngā mahi e tata ana ki ngā mea kua whakapumautia e te katoa. ngā rohe o te whanaungatanga. "

Inaianei, whakaarohia kei waho koe i tētahi tina ataahua. Kei te titiro tonu tō hoa tāne ki tētahi atu tangata me te hiahia nui, engari e kore e whiti i ētahi rohe pērā i te kihi. He tauira tēnei o te tinihanga iti – te kanikani ngawari i te rārangi angiangi i waenga i te pono me te kore pono. Kei roto ko aua mahi iti e kore pea e kiia he tinihanga nui engari ka ara ake tonu ngā tukemata.

He rite ki te tohu whakatūpato i roto i te whanaungatanga e kī ana kāore pea tētahi hoa i te tino piripono ki tētahi atu. Tērā pea ka noho tuwhera tonu ā rātou kōwhiringa, nā te hiahia ki te tūhura i ngā mea kei waho. Me te mea kei te 'tata' rātou ki te tinihanga, engari kāore i tino pērā. Heoi, ka taea e ia te whakangaro mārire i te turanga o te whakawhirinaki, ka waiho he wāhi mō te ruarua me te kore haumaru i roto i te whanaungatanga.

He Reddit kaiwhakamahi E whakamārama ana i tēnei tikanga tinihanga iti, "Me kī kei roto koe i tētahi hononga ki a A. He maha ngā tau e piri tahi ana koe, he hononga tūturu. Ka haere koe me ō hoa, ā, ka whakatata mai tētahi ki a koe, ko B tōna ingoa. I pai te noho tahi a kōrua ko B, ka kōrero i te pō katoa, kātahi ka whakawhitiwhiti nama waea. Kāore kōrua i moe tahi, kāore i hono tahi engari kei te hono tonu kōrua. Ka tuku karere kuputuhi i ia ata, i te rā katoa, me ērā atu. Kei te huna hoki koe i tēnei "ahakoa he aha" hou mai i a A. He rite ki te huarahi ipurangi ki te kī he tinihanga kare ā-roto, me te kore e pā atu ki te tinana."

tetahi kaiwhakamahi e mea ana, "He onge te tinihanga, he mahi kotahi noa iho. I te nuinga o te wā, he iti noa ngā hikoinga e ahu whakamua ana ki te kaupapa o te tinihanga. Mena kua tangohia e koe ēnei hikoinga engari kāore anō kia whiti i te paepae o tāu e whakaaro nei he tinihanga (te whakapā tinana, te whanaungatanga kare ā-roto rānei), kāti ka taka ki roto i tēnei whakamāramatanga. He rohe kāore e tika kia whitihia me te kore e mōhio ka āwhina pea tēnei i te ahu whakamua ki te tinihanga."

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Ngā Tauira Tinihanga-iti

E ai ki tā mātou i kōrero ai i mua ake nei, he rerekē ki te tinihanga tūpato, he uaua te kite i te tinihanga iti. Ko ēnei mahi iti engari he nui ka uru atu ki ngā taunekeneke whakaipoipo, te whanaungatanga piripono ki tētahi atu i waho o te whanaungatanga, te huna rānei i ētahi whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mai i te hoa.

Hei whakamārama i tēnei pari pahekeheke, anei ētahi tauira tinihanga iti ka taea te hanga i tētahi hononga kino:

• Ka huna e koe tō hoa o mua, tō hoa tata rānei: Ka pupuri puku koe i ngā kōrero ki tō hoa o mua, ki tētahi hoa tata rānei, me te kore e kōrero ki tō hoa mōna. Tērā pea ka tūtaki tonu koe ki a rātou.
• Ka takaro koe i te ipurangi me ngā tāngata tauhou: Ko ngā tauira o te tinihanga kare ā-roto, te tuku karere kuputuhi, te tohu rānei kei te tinihanga ia, ko ētahi ko ngā kōrero whakakatakata ki ngā tāngata tauhou i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori, te pai ki ā rātou pou me te tuku kōrero i tua atu i te taunekeneke hoa.
• He tino piripono rawa tōu ngākau ki tētahi: Ka whakapuaki koe i ngā kōrero whaiaro me ngā kare ā-roto whaiaro ki tētahi, ka waihanga i te wāhi mō te tinihanga kare ā-roto
• E teka ana koe mō ō taunekeneke: Ka tiakina e koe ngā hoapā me ngā ingoa rūpahu (hei tauira, ko tō hoa o mua a Sandra te kaihanga paipa e waea mai ana ki a koe i ia pō?). He mea mōrearea ina teka te hoa ki tētahi atu mō tā rātou whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki ētahi tāngata
• Kei te swipe koe i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo: Ahakoa kei roto koe i tētahi hononga kotahi-tāne pumau, kei te kaha tonu koe ki ngā taupānga whakaipoipo. Ina pāwhiri koe, ina kōrerorero ana ki ētahi atu i runga i ngā paetukutuku whakaipoipo, ā, kāore tō hoa e mōhio ana, koinei tētahi o ngā tauira o te tinihanga iti o te tuku karere kuputuhi.
• Ka whakapau kaha koe mō tētahi atu: Ka haere koe i tua atu i tōu ake ara, ka whiti i te rohe hei miharo i tētahi hoa, ina koa ka huna e koe ngā mea ngaro mai i tō hoa.
• Ka whakakitea e koe ngā taipitopito tūmataiti o tō whanaungatanga: Ka tahuri koe ki tētahi atu hei tautoko i ngā kare ā-roto i waho o tō rōpū, i ngā hoa tawhito rānei, hei matapaki i ngā take whanaungatanga tūmataiti. I ētahi wā, ka whakapā atu koe ki tō hoa o mua mō te whakamarie i a koe i ngā wā uaua o tō whanaungatanga o nāianei.
• He tinihanga tō kōtaha: He pikitia kōtaha tāu e whakamarie ai te iwi i a rātou e whakaae ana ki ngā tono hoa mai i a koe, ā, kāore hoki rātou e whakaaro kei roto koe i tētahi hononga pono
• Ka takaro koe i ngā pāti: Ka takaro koe ki ngā tāngata rerekē, ka whiti i te rohe, ahakoa kei reira tō hoa, ā, kāore tēnei e puta hei kōrero whakakatakata.
• Ka ngawari te whakamatautauria e koe: Ina kitea e koe he ātaahua ētahi atu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ka hiahia koe ki te tango whakaahua whaiaro me rātou, ki te tūtaki rānei ki a rātou i muri mai. He maha ngā wā ka tupu tēnei, ā, ka mutu ka tangohia e koe ō rātou taipitopito whakapā me te whakarite i tētahi hui (arā, "hoa" te rā).
• Ka whakapuaki koe i ngā katakata whakakatakata, tūmataiti hoki: He kōrero whakakatakata ā-roto āu ki tētahi atu tangata, he kōrero whakakatakata te nuinga, kāore tō hoa i te mōhio. Mā tēnei hononga kare ā-roto ahurei ka poipoi i te wairua o te whanaungatanga ā-ira tangata.
• Ka huna e koe tō whanaungatanga i te ao: Ka karo koe i te whakahua i tō hoa rangatira, i tō tūnga whanaungatanga rānei i roto i ētahi horopaki pāpori, i ētahi tāngata rānei, ā, i ētahi wā ki ō whanaunga, e tohu ana i te hiahia kia noho takakau, ā, kia rite ki te whakahoahoa.
• Kei a koe ngā taupānga karere ngaro mō ngā mahi ipurangi: Ko ngā tohu kei te tinihanga ia mō ngā mea iti ko te whakamahi huna i te taupānga karere tūmataiti mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine mō te kōrerorero huna
• He nui rawa tō ātete ki te whanaungatanga: Ka ārai koe, ka karo rānei ina pātai tō hoa mō tō whanaungatanga ki tētahi tangata
• E moemoeā ana koe mō tētahi tonu: He moemoeā tonu tāu mō te noho tahi me tētahi atu i roto i te aroha, i te whanaungatanga piripono rānei. Tērā pea ka pau te wā ki te whakaaroaro anō i ngā wheako aroha o mua me tō hoa o mua i roto i tō hinengaro.
• Ka tukuna e koe ngā karere i te pō ki tētahi: Ka uru koe ki te takaro pōrearea mā roto i ngā kōrero i te pō me tētahi atu i waho o tō whanaungatanga
• Ka whakataurite koe i tō hoa: Ka whakataurite koe i tō hoa rangatira ki ētahi atu, ahakoa he āhua, he whakatutukitanga, he āhuatanga rānei. Tērā pea ka whakaaro tō hoa rangatira kāore i te whai hua, ka mamae rānei i te te iti o te whakaaro ki a ia anō i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, e tohu ana koe e hiahia ana koe ki tētahi atu
• Te nui rawa o te hiahia ki ngā oranga whakaipoipo a ō hoa takakau: Kei te hiahia nui koe ki te mōhio ki ngā oranga whakaipoipo o ō hoa takakau, e tohu ana i te hiahia mō tētahi wheako aroha.
• Ka whaia e koe tētahi i runga ipurangi: Ka pau tō wā ki te aroturuki i ngā mahi ipurangi a tētahi e kitea ana e koe he ātaahua i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori
• Ka whakakahoretia e koe te pānga o āu mahi: Ka whakakorehia e koe tō whanonga tinihanga iti hei mea whakangahau kore kino, ka ngana ki te whakamārama i tēnā, ka whakaiti i tōna hiranga, ka kore e whakaae ki tōna pānga ki te whanaungatanga me te hauora hinengaro o tō hoa.

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Ngā Tohu o te Tinihanga-iti i roto i te Hononga

He tino āwhina te mārama ki ngā tohu o te tinihanga iti i roto i te whanaungatanga hei whakaora i te hononga e tohaina ana e kōrua ko tō hoa, hei whakaora hoki i tō ake haumaru kare ā-roto. Ko te tinihanga iti he mahi me ngā whanonga ngawari, ki te kore e arohia, ka arahi pea ki ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki nui, ngā wehenga, me ngā whakarere. Mā te mōhio wawe ki ēnei tohu ka taea e koe te aro atu ki ngā raruraru pea, te whakatakoto i ngā rohe mārama, te whakapakari i te whakawhirinaki, me te whakatau i ngā whakatau e tika ana. Anei ngā tohu e whitu e kitea whānuitia ana o te tinihanga iti:

1. Kei te tiaki whakapae rātou i tā rātou waea

Kua kite koe i tētahi mea tino rerekē i roto i ngā whanonga waea a tō hoa? Mena koinei te āhua, tera pea he mea kei te haere nā te mea he pehea te hunga tinihanga e huna ana i o ratou araAe, tera pea ka kitea e tō hoa he ātaahua ētahi atu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, kei te uru atu ia ki te whanonga tinihanga iti. Nō reira, anei ētahi tauira tinihanga iti o ngā karere kuputuhi hei tirotiro māu ina huna ana e tō tāne ngā waea:

• I a koe e noho tahi ana me tō hoa rangatira, ka piri tonu ō rātou kanohi ki tā rātou waea pūkoro me te mea ko tā rātou hoa aroha hou. Kāore e taea e rātou te waiho, ahakoa mō tētahi wā poto.
• Kāore i mutu i reira – Ka haria e rātou ā rātou waea pūkoro ki ngā wāhi katoa, tae atu ki te wharepaku! Me te mea kei te tiaki rātou i tētahi mea ngaro utu nui, ā, ka waiho koe kia pōhēhē.
• Ka tangohia e rātou tā rātou waea pūkoro, ka huna rānei i te mata ina puta mai he whakamōhiotanga

2. Ka whai rātou i tā rātou hoa o mua i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori (ā, he nui atu anō ngā kōrero mō tēnei)

He aha ngā tohu o te tinihanga iti? He Reddit kaiwhakamahi e kī ana, "Kua tata ki te tau te noho tahi a māua ko taku hoa tāne (m26) (f23). I kitea e au kua rapu ia i tana hoa wahine o mua me ētahi atu kōtiro i runga i a Google me ngā momo pāpāho pāpori katoa, tata ki ia rā, ia rā. Ina koa ko tana hoa wahine o mua. Nā tēnei ka tino whakamā ahau, ka āwangawanga hoki mō tō māua whanaungatanga. E kī mai ana ia e aroha ana ia ki ahau, ā, he tino aroha ia, ā, he maha āna kōrero mō māua e neke tahi ana ki te noho tahi me te whai i tētahi heke mai tahi, engari kua ngaro taku whakawhirinaki ki a ia nā tēnei, nō reira e ruarua ana ahau i ana kōrero katoa.

"I wehe rāua ko tana hoa o mua i ngā tau kua pahure ake nei nā te mea kua kore rāua e aroha, ā, kua wehe kē rāua, ā, e ono tau pea te roa o te noho tahi, nō reira he wehenga "pai" ki tāna. E mārama ana ahau ki te hiahia nui ki te rapu i tō hoa o mua i ētahi wā, engari he whanonga tino auau tēnei āna. Ki taku whakaaro kāore au i te rawaka mōna, ā, kāore ia i te makona i roto i tā māua whanaungatanga. Kāore au i te tino mōhio me pēhea taku whakatau i tēnei, me pēhea rānei taku whakaaro mōna."

Ae, he mea nui te mārama me te noho pai ki ngā hoa o mua, engari ina huna e tō hoa ā rāua taunekeneke pāpāho pāpori i a koe, kua tae ki te wā kia tūpato. Ahakoa kāore pea ētahi e whakapono ki te aukati i ā rāua hoa o mua, ka rerekē te kōrero ina te āhua nei he nui rawa te aro o tō hoa ki te oranga pāpori o tā rāua hoa o mua. He mea tūturu tēnei momo tinihanga pāpāho pāpori, ā, ka taea e ia te whakararu i te whanaungatanga. Anei ngā ngā haki whero hei tūpato:

• Kei te aroturuki tonu tō hoa i ngā whakahoutanga o te oranga o tana hoa o mua – ngā hararei, ngā whakaahua-ā-ringa, te oranga whakaipoipo
• Kei te waiho e rātou he kōrero aroha ki ngā whakaahua o tā rātou hoa o mua me te mea kei te takakau tonu rātou.
• Ka kitea e tō hoa te kaha ake o ngā kare ā-roto, pērā i te hae, te riri rānei, ina tuku kōrero tā rātou hoa o mua ki runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori me tētahi hoa pea. Tērā pea he tohu tēnei kei te mau tonu ngā kare ā-roto, ngā raruraru rānei kāore anō kia whakatauhia i waenganui i a rāua.
• Kei te kōrerorero pinepine rātou me tā rātou hoa o mua, ā, e ngana ana ki te huna i taua mea i a koe mā te muku i ngā karere, mā te whakamahi rānei i ngā taupānga karere whakamuna hei pupuri i te tūmataitinga o ā rātou taunekeneke.

3. Ka whakahuatia e rātou tā rātou hoa o mua i roto i ngā kōrero katoa

Ina nui ake te kōrero a tō hoa mō tā rātou hoa o mua i roto i ngā kōrerorero, he nui atu i te mea e kitea ana he mea noa, ka puta he ruarua i roto i tō hinengaro. Ahakoa he pai te noho hoa ki tētahi hoa o mua i roto i te nuinga o ngā wā, ko te mōhio ki ngā taipitopito katoa i muri i te wehenga ka waiho hei take mō te manukanuka. He mea nui kia kōrero pono mēnā he nui rawa te piri o ngā whanonga a tō hoa ki ō rātou hītori. Kia tūpato ki tēnei tohu, he momo tinihanga iti pea tēnei.

4. Kei te mau tonu ā rātou kōtaha i runga i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo

"He mea kino te tirotiro i ngā mea kei waho" i ngā pae whakaipoipo. He Reddit kaiwhakamahi e kōrero ana, "Kāore au i whakaaro ka tinihanga taku hoa, he tino whakamarie ia, he aroha, he manaaki hoki ki ahau. I whakapau kaha ia, i whakarite i ngā huihuinga nui mō ngā rā motuhake (rā whānau, huritau, Kirihimete). KĀORE ia i mea kia warewarehia ahau. Ko te mea tino rerekē? Kei te noho tahi māua i ia rā. He mea tūpono noa iho te kōrero mai a taku whanaunga ki ahau mō tētahi taupānga e taea ai e koe te tirotiro mēnā kei runga i a Tinder tō hoa - i mau ia i tana hoa wahine i reira, ā, i whakamahia e au me te kata, me te kore e whakaaro ka kitea taku hoa i reira."

Ka tāpiri atu ia, "Heoi, i pērā ahau, ā, i taku whakahē i a ia, ko tana kupu whakamāori he haereere noa iho ngā tāne katoa ki konei, ki reira hei tirotiro noa iho, engari kāore ia i kōrero ki tētahi, ā, kāore hoki i hiahia ki te mahi pēnā. Kei te ngaro ahau i waenganui i te tuku i tēnei kia paheke, i te te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga Nā te mea he tino mīharo ia ki ahau, ki roto hoki i te whanaungatanga, ā, koinei anake te raruraru o māua. Heoi, kei te whakaaro ahau mēnā he rerekētanga uara tēnei, nā te mea kāore au e pai ki te tirotiro noa hei ngahau.”

Āe, ko te tikanga, kāore te iwi e "tirotiro noa mō te ngahau" i ngā paetukutuku whakaipoipo i a rātou e noho harikoa ana, e pumau ana hoki. Heoi, ki te kitea e koe kei te ora tonu te kōtaha whakaipoipo a tō hoa, he whanonga hē pea, he tohu tōmua rānei o te tinihanga i roto i te whanaungatanga. E tohu ana tēnei kei te tuwhera tonu rātou ki ngā hononga kare ā-roto hou, ā, kāore pea tō whanaungatanga i te pakari pērā i tō whakaaro.

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5. Ka mahia e rātou ngā mea katoa kia kore ai e haere tahi me koe ki ngā huihuinga pāpori

He wāhanga tūturu o te maha o ngā whanaungatanga te haere ki ngā huihuinga hei takirua. Ki te kite koe e hiahia tonu ana tō hoa ki te haere ko koe anake, tera pea ka ara ake ētahi āwangawanga. Ahakoa he take pono mō ngā haerenga takitahi, kia tūpato mēnā ka whakakahore tonu rātou i a koe me ngā kīanga ruarua pēnei i te "He pāti hoha" me te "Ka noho noa ahau ki reira mō te 15 meneti." Tērā pea kei te tumanako rātou ki te tūtaki ki tētahi atu tangata, ka huna i a rātou i a koe.

Ki te tohe tonu rātou ki te haere ko rātou anake ahakoa kua whakaatu koe i tō hiahia ki te whakauru atu ki a rātou, tera pea he mea whakapae kei te haere. Kāore i te tino mārama kei te ngana rātou ki te whakawai i tētahi atu, engari ko te hiahia kia huna he tohu i te hiahia ki te takaro, ki te tūhura rānei i ētahi atu. hononga aronganuiHe tohu pea tēnei mō te tinihanga iti i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.

6. Kei te menemene tonu rātou ki tā rātou waea – Āe, ehara i te meme kurī

He aha ngā tohu o te tinihanga iti? Ina ataata tonu tō hoa ki tā rātou waea pūkoro i roto i te āhua huna, he mea tika pea kia aro atu koe ki tēnā. Tērā pea he karere ātaahua, he karere whakakatakata rānei te take o taua harikoa. Taria kia maha ngā wā i mua i te pātai atu he aha tā rātou e ataata ana kia mārama ai koe ki te āhuatanga. Ki te whakaaturia e rātou te tuhinga, te whakaahua rānei ki a koe, kāore pea he mea hei manukanuka. Heoi, ki te whakautu tonu rātou me te "kāore he mea" ā, te āhua nei kāore e pai ki te whakapuaki, he tohu pea tēnā o te tinihanga iti i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori.

E kī ana a Olivia (29) nō Miami, "He rerekē ngā āhuatanga tinihanga, ā, kāore te tinihanga i te tino kitea pērā i te āhua. Hei tauira, he aha te mahi whakaipoipo iti? Kei roto ko ngā taunekeneke ngawari e kore pea e whiti i te rohe ki te tinihanga tinana. Engari kei te tinihanga anō hoki te rapu aro mai i ētahi atu i a koe e noho ana i roto i te whanaungatanga? Ko te mea nui, e ai ki aku wheako whakaipoipo o mua, ka tīmata ēnei tinihanga ngawari me ngā kōrero huna, ā, te āhua nei ka menemene tonu tō hoa ki ā rāua waea me te whiwhi aro motuhake mai i tētahi atu. Ahakoa te āhua harakore o ēnei hara iti, whakapono mai ki ahau, ka memeha haere te whakawhirinaki o te whanaungatanga i roto i te wā."

7. Ka ārai rātou i a koe, ka ngana ki te whakakino i a koe ina whakahuatia e koe tā rātou whanonga tinihanga iti

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino nui o te tinihanga iti ko te māramatanga. I roto i te hononga hauora, me tuwhera te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i waenga i ngā hoa, inā koa mēnā he mea e whakararuraru ana i tētahi o rāua. Nō reira, ina kei te mau tonu te whanonga a tō hoa i roto i tō hinengaro, he mea maori noa iho te whakahua i taua whanonga. Ko te hoa pono, kāore i te he, ka noho tahi ki te kōrero mō ō āwangawanga, me te whai kia mārama me te whakamārama i ngā whakapae katoa. Heoi, ki te kite koe i tētahi panonitanga o tō rātou kaha me ō rātou whanonga, me te hara, te whakaroa rānei, tera pea he tohu o te kore pono i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.

I roto i tēnei kōrero, i tēnei tautohetohe rānei, tera pea ka tino ārai rawa tō hoa, ka mura te riri. Hei whakakore i ō kare ā-roto, hei whakararuraru hoki i a koe i tō pūmanawa, tera pea ka whakamahia e rātou ngā kōrero whakamāori pēnei i:

• "Kei te mataku noa koe, kāore he mea e tupu ana."
• "He aha koe i rapu tonu ai i ngā raruraru i te mea kāore he raruraru?"
• "Kāore au i te whakapono kei te hanga nui koe i tēnei mea mai i te kore noa iho."
• "Ehara i te mea e tinihanga ana ahau. Kei te tino tairongo rawa koe, kei te nui rawa hoki tō tauhohenga."
• "Mehemea kei te māharahara koe ki te whakaaro ka mahi ahau i tētahi mea pēnei."
• "Kei roto katoa i tōu mahunga, kāore au i mahi i tetahi mea he."
• "Kei te ngana noa koe ki te tīmata i te pakanga, kāore he take."
• "Kei te ngana noa koe ki te whakahaere i ahau mā te whakaputa mai i ēnei whakapae koretake."
• "Kati te hae me te whakapae i ahau mō te tinihanga kare ā-roto, kāore e ātaahua."
• "Kei te tito noa koe i ēnei kōrero tinihanga iti hei whakaoho i te raruraru i roto i tā tāua whanaungatanga."

Me pēhea te whakatau i te tinihanga iti

He uaua, he uaua hoki te whakatau i te tinihanga iti i roto i te whanaungatanga. He mea nui kia whakatata atu ki tēnei kaupapa tairongo me te aroha me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera. Mā te aro atu ki te take me te mahi tahi, ka māmā ake te whakatere i tēnei āhuatanga. Anei ētahi huarahi hei whakatau i te tinihanga iti me whakakaha i to whanaungatanga (āe, ki te tika, kia maia, kia whakatau i taua whakatau kua roa koe e wehi ana):

1. Kimihia te mea e whakararuraru ana i a koe i te tuatahi

I mua i tō ruku ki te kōrero ā-ngākau mō te tinihanga iti me tō hoa, hoki whakamuri, ka kimi i te mea e whakararuraru ana i a koe. He maha ngā tauira o te tinihanga iti e horapa ana i runga i te ipurangi, he ngāwari te awe me te whakaaro nui ki ngā mea me te kore he take pakari. Hei tauira, tera pea ka pai noa tō hoa ki te tirotiro i ngā pāpāho pāpori i a koe e inu ana i tā rātou kawhe o te ata, ā, he mea noa tēnā. Engari, i te kore e roa, ka tīmata pea koe ki te kite i tēnei hei tohu o te tinihanga iti i roto i ngā marena. Hei karo i te manukanuka me te whakapae koretake, anei ngā mahi tuatahi hei whai:

• Whakaarohia ngā panonitanga whanonga kua kitea e koe e pā ana ki te tinihanga iti.
• Pātai atu ki a koe anō he aha ēnei whanonga e whakararuraru ana i a koe, ā, mēnā he tohu kino tūturu ēnei. He mea nui kia wehea ngā āwangawanga tūturu mai i ngā āwangawanga.
• I mua i te kōrero mō te take me tō hoa, kia mōhio koe ehara i ō kare ā-roto, i ō whakaaro rānei te take, engari ko ā rāua mahi. Mā tēnei, ka mārama ake tō tirohanga ina kōrerohia te take, ā, ka taea e koe te mahi ki tētahi whakataunga whai hua ake.

2. Kōrero pono mō ō kare ā-roto

Ki te kore e āta whakaarohia ngā mahi a tō hoa, he nui ake te tūponotanga ki te whakatau i ngā mea. Whakamātauria te kōrero ki tō hoa mō ngā tohu kua kitea e koe me te hohonu o te raruraru ki a koe. Tērā pea kāore rātou e mōhio ki te pānga o ā rātou mahi, kāore rānei e kiia he tinihanga iti. I roto i tēnei āhuatanga, ka taea e te hoa whakaaro nui te:

• Kia mārama ki te taumaha o te āhuatanga
• Kia rite ki te hanga huringa hei aukati i te tinihanga iti
• Nui atu te aro ki tō whanaungatanga i ngā taunekeneke koretake me ngā tāngata tauhou i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori
• Kia whakaute i ō kare ā-roto
• Whakamātauria te rongoā mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, whakapā atu rānei ki ngā tohunga whanaungatanga ngaio

E kī ana a Sophia (36) nō Colorado, "I kitea ahau i roto i tētahi take aronganui me taku hoa tāne o mua, ā, i muri i te tirohanga whakamuri, he mea nui te mahi a ngā hara iti. I tangohia e au te hinengaro tinihanga iti - i whakatenatena ahau i a au anō ko te muku i ngā karere kuputuhi he ngana noa iho ki te whakakore i ngā mea i roto i taku waea. Heoi, i huna e ia tā māua mahi whakaipoipo kore whakaaro me te kōrerorero tuku karere kuputuhi i puta haere. Ahakoa ngā mea kāore he kino pēnei i te whakawhitiwhiti Snapchat whakaipoipo, kāore i whakaoho i ngā whakaoho. I tētahi rā, ka whakaaro ahau, "Ka murua te tinihanga iti?" I te titiro whakamuri, e whakaaro ana ahau kua tinihanga ahau engari kāore au i uru ki te tinihanga tūturu i runga i te taumata whanaungatanga tinana. He tinihanga ngawari pea e kiia ana e te tangata, engari ahakoa he aha, i whakatau ahau kia pono ki taku hoa tāne, kia ruku hohonu ki aku ake hiahia kare ā-roto."

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Māramatanga i roto i ngā Hononga: Te Tikanga, Me Pēhea te Whakaatu me ētahi Tohutohu Ngaro

3. Kōrerohia te tikanga o te tinihanga iti ki a koe

He rerekē ngā tikanga o te tinihanga iti ki ngā tāngata rerekē. Hei tauira, ko te mihi kino a tō hoa ki tētahi atu tangata ka kitea pea he tinihanga iti e tētahi, engari kāore pea tētahi atu e aro ki tēnā. He mea nui te mārama ki ēnei rerekētanga me te wehewehe i waenga i ngā tohu o te tinihanga me te tinihanga iti.

Nō reira, me whai wā koe ki te noho tahi me tō hoa, ka kōrero mō te tikanga o te tinihanga iti ki a kōrua. Tuhia ō whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto ki te aroaro o te katoa, ā, whakatenatenahia tō hoa kia pērā anō hoki. Mā tēnei kōrero ka āwhina i te whakatū i ngā rohe me ngā tumanakohanga mārama, kia mōhio ai kōrua kei te kotahi te whakaaro i mua. Ahakoa he karo i ngā mihi whakakatakata, he whakaute rānei i ngā taumata whakamarie o tētahi ki tētahi, he mea nui te mārama ki ngā mea e kiia ana he tinihanga iti ki a kōrua hei tokorua, kia kaha ai, kia whakawhirinaki ai hoki te whanaungatanga.

He aha ētahi tauira o te tinihanga iti? E ​​kī ana a David (27) nō Washington, "Ko ngā mea e kiia ana he tinihanga ka ahu mai i ngā hononga kare ā-roto ki ngā mahi ā-tinana. Hei tauira, ko ngā tohu tinihanga o Instagram ka uru pea ki ngā 'like' me ngā kōrero huna. Te tuku karere ki ētahi atu tāne me te whakakatakata Ahakoa i roto i te whanaungatanga, he momo tinihanga iti anō hoki, arā, te whakarite hui huna me ngā kōtiro e kitea ana e koe he ātaahua i runga ipurangi. He wāhi pōuri tēnei, e whakaae ana ahau, engari he nui ngā pānga o ēnei mahi iti nei. Ināianei, ka murua te tinihanga iti? Kei ngā uara o te tokorua me te hiahia ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki te whakawhirinaki. Ki taku whakaaro koinei te take he mea nui kia kōrerohia ēnei mea i te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga.”

4. Whakatikahia ngā arai, āe, ngā pae whakaipoipo

A ako i kitea ko te kore whakawhirinaki ki tētahi whanaungatanga ka arahi pea ki te koretake o te kare ā-roto, ngā pakanga, tae noa ki te tūponotanga o te wehenga. Ko te hunga kāore e taea te whakawhirinaki ki ō rātou hoa (hei tauira, i roto i ngā take tinihanga iti) ka nui ake te tūponotanga ka tirotiro haere i ngā waea pūkoro a ō rātou hoa, ka kino ake ngā take whakawhirinaki i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.

Nō reira, kaua e whai i tēnei huarahi, me kōrero pono mō ngā kōtaha whakaipoipo e mau tonu ana i runga i te waea a tō hoa. Kia mārama tō hoa ki te āhua o te whakararuraru i a koe i ā rāua taunekeneke o ia rā ki ā rāua hoa o mua. Kātahi ka whakaarohia ngā otinga pea. I a koe e mahi ana i tēnei, he mea nui kia taurite te whakakore me te whakahaere. Ka taea e koe te whakakore i ēnei mea iti nei i roto i te whanaungatanga me te kore e whakahaere i tō hoa. Nō reira, hoatu ki tō hoa te wāhi e hiahiatia ana e rāua, me te whakarite kia tuwhera te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i a kōrua e ngana ana ki te mārama ki te hinengaro tinihanga iti.

5. Whakatakotoria he rohe mō ngā whanaungatanga hauora

Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakamutu i te tinihanga iti i roto i ngā marena? He mea nui kia kotahi te whakaaro, kia tuwhera ngā kōrero mō ngā whanonga e whakaaetia ana, me ngā whanonga kāore e whakaaetia, me te maumahara ki ngā hiahia o ia hoa. Engari kaua e wareware ki te whakatakoto rohe mōu anō hoki. Ki te kore koe e hiahia kia mihi tō hoa ki tētahi me te whakakatakata, kia kaua hoki e mahi i taua mea anō ina kite koe i tētahi pikitia ātaahua i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori. Te whakatakoto i taua momo whanonga rohe hauora He mea nui hei tiaki i tō whanaungatanga mai i te tinihanga iti. Anei ētahi tauira o ngā rohe i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te tinihanga, i te tinihanga iti rānei ka taea e koe te whakatakoto i runga i tō āhuatanga:

• Kaua e whakawhitiwhiti karere whakakatakata ki ētahi atu
• Āta karohia te huna rawa i ngā taunekeneke ipurangi, i te whakamahinga waea rānei
• Whakawhāitihia te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki ngā hoa o mua ki ngā kōrero e tika ana anake
• Whakaae kia kaua e whakamahi i ngā pae whakaipoipo i te wā e mau ana te whanaungatanga pumau
• Kia mārama ki ngā mahi pāpāho pāpori, tae atu ki ngā "like", ngā kōrero, me ngā "follow"
• Kaua e huna, e tiaki rānei i ngā hoapā me ngā ingoa rūpahu hei huna i ngā whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki ētahi atu
• Whakawhāitihia ngā taunekeneke ki te hunga e aroha nui ana ki tētahi o ō hoa.
• Kaua e whakataurite i ngā hoa o nāianei ki ngā whanaungatanga o mua

6. Hangaia anō te whakawhirinakitanga ngātahi

Ehara i te mea ko te moe tahi me tētahi atu tangata anake te mea ka whara i te hoa. I ētahi wā, he ahua māmā noa iho te tinihanga iti, engari ka roa pea te wā e ora ai ngā patunga me te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki. Anei ētahi huarahi motuhake hei hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i muri i te tinihanga, i te tinihanga iti rānei:

• Whakamaherehia he hararei mutunga wiki, he rā ohorere rānei whakaoho anō i te aroha i roto i te whanaungatanga roa me te whakapakari i tō hononga kare ā-roto
• Waihangahia he papa tirohanga whānui mō te heke mai, e whakamārama ngātahi ana i ngā whāinga me ngā wawata o te whanaungatanga.
• Whakatā mai i ngā pāpāho pāpori mō tētahi wā kua whakaritea, me te arotahi ki te hanga whakawhirinaki me te hononga kare ā-roto tuimotu
• Whakamātauria te rongoā ā-tāne, te tohutohu ipurangi rānei, kōrero ki ngā tohunga whanaungatanga, haere tahi ki ngā awheawhe whanaungatanga, ki ngā wānanga rānei hei ako me pēhea te hanga whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga i muri i te tinihanga.

7. Kia mōhio koe ki te wā e tika ai kia tukuna atu

He uaua te mōhio ki te wā tika hei tuku, inā koa ka pāngia e te tinihanga iti. Ahakoa kāore pea i te tino kino pērā i te tinihanga tinana, ka rite tonu te mamae o te ngākau ki te pānga. Kaua e waiho hei mea iti noa iho nā te mea ka taea e ēnei takahi iti o te whakawhirinaki te whakatupu i ngā mea nunui ake. raruraru hononga i te roa.

He mea nui te kōrero tuwhera mō ō kare ā-roto me te whakatakoto rohe, engari ki te kore e arohia e tō hoa, ka taea te whakatō i ngā purapura o te kore whakawhirinaki me te riri. Ina kitea koe e mau ana i roto i tētahi tauira e whakapāha ana tō hoa engari ka haere tonu i ngā mahi kotahi, me te huna pai ake i ia wā, kāore he whakapau kaha ki te huri. Nō reira, ki te mea kua whakapuakina e koe ō āwangawanga, ā, kei te mau tonu, whakaarohia te arotake anō i te whanaungatanga.

Mā te noho tonu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga kino pēnei ka nui ake te mamae. Kia whakapono ki tō kare ā-roto, kia atawhai hoki ki a koe anō mā te tuku i a koe mēnā e tika ana. Engari kaua e tangi i ia pō mō tō hoa e tinihanga ana i a koe, kia mahara he tika māu tētahi whanaungatanga e whai ana ngā hoa e rua ki te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi me te haumaru o ngā kare ā-roto.

Ahakoa kāore pea e rite te taumaha ki te puremu tuku iho, ka taea e te tinihanga iti te whai pānga nui, ka memeha te tūāpapa o whakawhirinaki ki te honongaAhakoa kei te taha koe e whiwhi ana i aua wero iti nei, kei te taha rānei koe e whakawhiwhi ana i aua wero, ko te mea nui kei te whakatipu i te māramatanga, te aroha, me te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi, i a ngā hoa e rua e whakatere ana i te taurite i waenga i te mea e whakaaetia ana me te mea kāore.

Kua whakahoutia tēnei tuhinga i te marama o Ākuhata 2023.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.